“Independent contractor” Bristol Palin (hey, she works hard at being a teenager who got knocked up!) was paid $262,500 in 2009 by the Candie’s Foundation, the group that has her speak about why teenagers should be abstinent even though her not being abstinent is why she gets to be paid $262,500 a year despite having no actual skills. This nonprofit spends so much money on Bristol Palin, it turns out, that it has little left over to put towards programs and clinics that may actually have an impact on the health and sexy sex decisions of sexy teens; according to the tax form looked at by Think Progress, it spent seven times more on Bristol than these things.
the group disbursed only $35,000 in grants to actual teen pregnancy health and counseling clinics: $25,000 to the Mt. Sinai Adolescent Health Center and $10,000 to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy
It also spent $165,000 in Bristol teevee advertising.
But surely paying Bristol to try to form coherent thoughts has a greater impact on American teens, right? They see her beautiful baby and charmed desertbilly-grifter life and think, “I should really let one of the loser dudes at school knock me up.” [Think Progress]
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I am sure Sarah Palin, "the hockey mom" is glad now that she didn't do that great a job trying to keep the hockey players out of her daughter's penalty box.
Mom didn't have a whole lot of moral high ground on the issue. On any issue, come to think of it.
She's probably trying to convince Willow to get herself knocked up and on the gravy train as well.
Yeah, I have a feeling that she calls her kasloppis "the gravy train with biscuit wheels"
By 'convince,' do you mean strapping her on the table Sybil-style, and leaving a trail of meth crumbs from a truck stop to her mommy-maker?
Being slammed up against the glass takes on a whole new meaning.
Hockey player goes in, hockey player comes out. Skates stay on, player gets off. Who can explain it?
Never a miscommunication. Oh, except for the part where Bristol thinks that she's engaged to be married.
Don Cherry?
Oh man all this time I thought it was a reward box.
I thought you got in by being good and "listening" and shit.
I admit it was obvious that bad boys got way more action, I was to stoopid to put it together, and now I'm married.
I want a do over!
Easily achieved! The price is just one-half.
Half of what, you ask? Ha ha ha….
mind you don't get T-Paw all excited now. he might make an expression or some cyborg love sounds.
Is this an American success story or what? Poor girl from the stix makes it big helping others.
A classic case of falling up…
helping others help themselves to her.
Grifter-momma must be so proud.
Brisdull Palin was quoted as saying, "'Two years ago, I never would have thought I would become a mom or that my mom was going to be chosen to be a vice presidential candidate."
See what happens when men don't take the proper precautions?
In McCain's defense, a professional working girl is supposed to make a quiet exit after you finished the deed, not engage in Monday Morning Quarterbacking about your performance.
You don't have to spend much cash to have a big impact on teen pregnancy tho. Four Lokos are only a few bucks apiece – a couple of those and a fistful of meth and you could be the next Palin baby daddy…
jdsdshfjhds jkdjsflksdjfkjsa fgudiudfug fdsksdjflsdj ewnrwenrwen
Can't stop banging head off keyboard………
From the Candies Foundation website:
"The Candie’s Foundation is a non-profit organization that works to shape the way youth in America think about teen pregnancy and parenthood. We are an operating foundation rather than a grant-making foundation. The foundation develops and runs communication campaigns to raise awareness about, and motivate teens to prevent, teen pregnancy."
….by giving Bristol Palin a lot of money.
There, fixed.
They want to make youth in America think teen pregnancy is a way to make a six-figure income and become famous without any discernible talent or having to ever actually work?
Sorta like Werner Erhard's (of est) "Hunger Project". It's stated goal was not to actually get food to hungry people, but "to create a context in which the end of world hunger is an idea whose time has come". We got solicitations from them constantly until my roommate sent them a slice of dried beef.
Oh, man, I want that verbage in my next year's performance plan. I will create a context in which work is done.
To end belief in world hunger once and for all, sweety dahling.
disclaimer: I attended the Forum version of est with Werner himself, actually "got" something out of it (including several hot hook-ups), but found the organization a reaffirmation of my dislike of organizations.
I am just guessing that 90% of her salary went straight to Plan B.
All charities should be based on Bristol's cooch and whatever Terry Jones says Jesus really meant.
No wonder Candie's is a non-profit.
//rimshot
Bristol has no actual skills? Nah, she's like my niece — her "life skill" is producing babies out of wedlock. Maybe I should get her on the abstinence speech circuit.
Wasn't the ad campaign the one with Bristol and that dude from the Jersey Shore? Truly there have never been more worthy recipients of fame and fortune in America.
Give credit where credit is due. At least The Situation didn't glide across the dancefloor like a downer cow.
How much did the Jersey Shore jerk-off get? I want to make sure talent like that is appreciated, with lots of donor money siphoned from its intended cause.
"Bristol and that dude from the Jersey Shore? Truly there have never been more worthy arguments for abstinence and/or birth control in America."
Fixed.
Where's the surprise here? Ex-teens who actually had sex are way hotter than teens who don't have sex. Even in Bristol's case.
I think we may be judging too harshly. If listening to Bristol Palin bleat hypocritical platitudes about abstinence doesn't put young people off sex, I don't know what would.
How much will the Candies Foundation pay Willow after she gets knocked up?
I understand that Candie's Foundation is also launching a Koch-funded campaign to get the American College of Obstetricians to change their terminology from "labor" to "baby-expelling."
hey kids, you can't get pregnant if you fuck in the ass. where is my 260k?
Lets not forget oral, its a non-factor.
That pic reminds me of one of the murals from Denver International Airport. The one with a few species of things protected under glass.
Second one here- http://newsletters.cephasministry.com/mystery_of_...
(just posted for the pix, not the commentary)
Jack, you are confused in your alt-text. "Cheap" and "inexpensive" are different things. Bristol may be no longer "inexpensive" but will most likely always be "cheap".
Bristol Palin shouldn't surprise me on this one but nonetheless, she and her Candie-cronies can eat a bag of salted radioactive eel-'nads topped with her mom's special martyr sauce.
Can you spell "private inurement"?
Urggghhh. Acccckkkk. And I was just dissing a charity that only managed to get 60% of the money raised to the cause. I don't even want to do the math on this.
Fuck. Lou Sarah is here fisting away.
I think you mean "HAHAHAHAHA, Lou Sarah is here giving Wonkette money."
Mebbe we could put Bristol's picture in the Gaugin exhibit. Trading a boob for boobs.
Well, McMansions in the desert don't buy themselves, Jack.
If you top it off by telling me she's incorporated and payed no taxes I might just keep the car running in the garage.
That's how it's pronounced after you've lost all your teeth.
How is griffterr formed? How girl get pragnent & bigg grants?
For a quarter million dollars Bristol could afford ten foreclosed Arizona tract houses.
"Stick your pistol in Bristol; she'll earn a fistful."
Sir, I am gobsmacked by your couplet, may I repeat it with your permission?
You may, sir or madam, with impunity.
And anyone donating money to this organization deserves to be fleeced. So, win-win!
Top down spending is just as effective as top down leadership.
I am awestruck by the grifting talent alredy on display in one so young; surely the student shall soon surpass the teacher, and I will be grateful to live long enough to see these skills of grift passed from generation to generation. Unless I just cold shoot myself this afternoon.
???
Wasn't your comment supposed to have the word "grasshoppa" in it somewhere?
I love how a values pundit/candidate/bitch has children who didn't aspire to her values. If that ain't schadenfreude, I don't know what is.
Is that her diaphragm she's holding in the picture?
D'you want to buy it? Unused, great condition, NIB*
*Never In Box
I'm hoping it's a suppository.
Yes, and she can sing from it, too.
Wait, she has a saleable skill?? News to me….
Has Bristol received an honorary doctorate from some backwater, unaccredited Bible college, yet? Because I can't wait for the day she (or her "publicist") starts demanding that she be referred to as "Doctor Bristol Palin."
I saw this on a FB thread before I saw it here, and the Palinbots are already there to smooth things out on behalf of their celebrity idols. Grifting is damn good business in America.
Bravo Alt Text!
"HEY BITCHES — DON'T YOU BE PUTTIN' NO PEE-PEE IN YOUR COOTER, YA HEAR ME DAMNIT!!!!"
I can haz paycheck, pleez?
Does anyone know what a Jimmie hat is?
Dumbshit cunt with a lump…
Conservatives need to open an employment agency. Are you a knocked up teen with no skills? Abstinence spokesperson maybe right for you. Never had a real job? Have you considered perpetually running for the US senate? Only read at a 6th grade level? Well Minnesota politics has an opportunity for you. Do you like hookers and diapers? How does Louisiana and a 6 figure salary sound?
Well, at least now we know how she got pregnant: she thought the clear plastic wrap she is holding in the photo was a condom.
But once Bristol gets preggers again, she will be twice as effective in her advocacy for abstinence.
They should have should given teenage girls free iPads if they promised not to get pregnant. Would have been a lot more effective.
Todd trying to lure Bristol away from Levi with a new truck didn't work. But maybe an iPad would have – except Bristol would have used it as a fancy panty-liner.
You know, for $262,500, David Vitter and Ellitot Spitzer could get a lot of whores that would practice safe sex.
"This is not out of the ordinary for a celebrity to make an income off of a charity they represent."
Wow. Really? Is that how they think charity works?
Extra points for this source, being the first to make the Trigg connection, even before Wonkette. LEAVE TRIGG ALONE!!!!11!
And it doesn't even make sense; Bristol, there's the Trigg conspiracy theorists, which are only a tiny number of people, and then there's the "anti-Palin" who can't stand these famewhores, which is the vast majority of the population of the United states; almost everybody is anti-Palin but doesn't follow that Trigg crap.
Did they mention the name of this organization, by any chance?
Also, she's "cranking" on her book. Lots of people in Alaska spend winter and spring holed up, and if they're not "cranking," they're cooking crank.
God, her PR people are a gold mine of irony.
Team Palin wants you to stop listening to the anti-Palin organization that leaked this information (i.e. the publicly available IRS tax forms), and think about it in a positive way:
Last year, Bristol generously donated -$262,500 to a cause she believes in.
I wonder when Sarah is going to come out and somehow victimize herself over this whole thing….you know she will; it's as assured as tide goes in, tide goes out…never miss a chance to grift Snowbilly.
Well some of the money is clearly needed to keep her cranking in Wasilla on that Wasilla crank.
For the love of god…can someone please tell me what the hell it is she's holding? It's driving me nuts.
It appears to be a Fiestaware Levitation Chamber [tm].
You made that up. >:-(
A fetus in a jar?
Nice way to avoid paying gift tax for the Palins — can give a tax free donation to Candies and then it essentially goes in their daughter's pocket…
$262k is nothing in comparison to the $250 million over five years we will be spending (the healthcare reform bill restored the funding. boggle) and the $250 million over the past five years. The Bush Administration spent like drunken sailors on Abstinence Only Education that has been shown only to delay sexual activity 18 months on average. When these kids start sexual activity, they are open to STDs and unintended pregancies. The outcomes got so embarrassingly bad, districts and states would go as far to refuse the federal funding. It turns out that when you base your "Sex Ed" program that birthcontrol is ineffective and/or dangerous, kids never use it when they do became horny and can't keep their clothes on.
Bristol is just a cog in the GOP/religious right machine that is the handmaiden to our glorious national decline into Third World American Dream of ignorance, impoverishment, and neo-puritanism. Duh, Winning.
Wasted a lot of money getting "Abstinence Only" into their anti-AIDS programs in Africa, too.
By "cranking" they mean smoking fat bowls of crystal she waits for another check.
"Really cranking" is probably a perfect description of what Ms. Palin is doing in Alaska. The book? Not so much.
My local news just reported on the Brizz's tax return. They didn't mention that the foundation really didn't do anything else but put her on the payroll. This is news? I don't even live in a conservative backwater.
Just wait 'till she puts in a year as her mommy's running mate: Palin/Palin 2012! Let the Grifting Begin in earnest! The sad fact is that there are millions of Americans who would support such a ticket.
I have an intuitition that Mother-Goddess Palin is our destiny. The Abomination of Palination! Bristle and Toad and Tit-Willow and Trygve can be acolytes or something.
Interesting…. “Passport, please?”
She's the woman standing on the moon and surrounded by stars inRevelation! (Revealed to me just now, by a trickster god, as I wastip-typing away!)
I should have guessed you would be one of the few humans to know better than refer to that Chapter as “Revelations”.
All other candies spokeswomen/men are libtards (Fergie and all those types). Why not put a conservative spokesperson out there. We don't want Republicans to procreate either, right ? I mean, who else is it going to be, Ann Coulter?
Abstinence-only education doesn't work, so really no harm done.
I wonder….what does Chelsea Clinton make for NOT being a dropout whore?
i still want to know what she's going to do with that hat in AZ.
Only in America you don't have to come from an educated family background……… or be attractive……. or smart……… to get some good cash out of a shill non-profit, U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A.
In some states, the AG's office would want to look into a charity that spends less than 10% of its income on the alleged charitable purpose. Schneiderman, are you listening?
I hope Bristol registered as a hedge fund and reported the $260K as "carried interest" income thereby entitling her to favorable capital gains tax treatment. It's a Rethuglican thang.
"the group that has her speak about why teenagers should be abstinent even though her not being abstinent is why she gets to be paid $262,500 a year despite having no actual skills."
Oh, SURE!! When I was in high school, I wanted to be a slutbunny, but NO! MY parents made me study and get good grades so I could go to college! Thanks a crapload, Mom and Dad!
It's NEVER too late to be a slutbunny. Just a friendly reminder…
Here we all thought this Bristol thing was a scam:
Teen pregnancy rate at record low: CDC
WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The teen pregnancy rate in 2009, the latest year for which data are available, hit its lowest since tracking began 70 years ago, the Center for Disease Control said on Tuesday.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110405/hl_nm/us_teen...
The farce is strong in this one.
"the same anti-Palin organization that says Trigg isn't Sarah Palin's son."
WHEREZ THA BIRF CERTIFICATE???
All in the family. Grifter Mom, grifter daughter.
How the fuck does this brat make a quarter million dollars and so many intelligent or erudite people are struggling to get by? What the hell is wrong with this country?
It's money that matters…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-e4rz-SkVk
Our downfister has been busy. The shift at wendy's must have ended….but you know what? This particular song pretty much sums up all that is fucked up with the system:
In any fair system, they would flourish and fly
Even the most Rascal bound McDonald's closer could recognize this.
Yet they all line up to suck Koch. That's the thing that puzzles me.
So, is it safe to say that Bristol went from a ho to a high-priced call girl? Movin' on up! She totally skipped that uncomfortable whoring phase.
Sean Hannity might disagree with you. http://crooksandliars.com/logan-murphy/major-char...
Indeed sir, indeed.
Aren't they taking nonprofit to an extreme?
What's the title of this "book"? UR Such A Faggot?
You think Mama taught her it's all about me and not the cause?
where/what/why/when/how/which is that picture from? is she in fucking Narnia?
I keep asking a similar question and no one will answer me!
actually…she usually receives the tip.
The best advice I ever got was from a Marine Corps staff sergeant: "If you can't be good, be careful!"
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