We have no idea what’s going on here, but it sounds pretty exciting. Also, we hope these young women knew what they were getting into when they became the Chuck Grassley Dance Team.
This really doesn’t help. “Grass$ey”? “The ATL”? Was Chuck in a rap video?
We were going to post after the jump an old Grassley video his people put on YouTube that featured him, among other humorous things, jogging, but it appears to have been taken down. (WHAT’S GRASSLEY HIDING?) Instead, you can watch these! Preferably all at the same time.
We think he may be holding some town meetings. Not sure. [Twitter]
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Not too gay for today's Republican Party.
cue shirtless Top Gun montage
Chuck Grassley, fuck you and your pseudo L33T spelling. Pixtur, really?
Fuck you in the goat ass with Kochbot.
Also kochbot, they prolly have meds for whatever is wrong with you, but you better act fast cuz yer boys are gunning for the medicaids.
By using "x" instead of "c" he saved precious CPU cycles anti-aliasing the fonts for his many twaddler fans, who use much older computers. Or maybe he's just "x" treme?
It appears that Sen. Grassley wants take the same stance in the ATL men's room that Sen. Craig did in the MSP men's room.
Those tweets sound like he shotgunned 3 sixpacks.
Jesus Christ, Captain Downfistie is busy today. I picture him punching his left mouse key repeatedly while battering is micropeen with his other hand, laughing maniacally the whole time, with his mom yelling at him in the background, telling him to turn down "Freebird".
He is a bit frustrated that he can't batter his peen as he misplaced his tweezers.
Apparently, he was so blotto* he named them Morgan, Megan and Rachel.
*outdated term Grassley may understand
“Grass$ey”? seems to be repeating himself.
Fuck you, GrASSley.
We all know you don't give a shit about anyone but your plutocrat bosses.
You goddamn whore.
~
6ra$733 pwns twatr
see if he tweeted that, I would understand it.
"Also, we hope these young women knew what they were getting into when they became the Chuck Grassley Dance Team. "
I thought Iowa only had "Cow Tipping" teams.
Have you seen the women in Iowa? Same difference.
I keed, I keed
They probably assumed they were safe since he's a Republican and all.
That's Ohio.
Cowtipping — fuckin awesome, man
[totally fails to find relevant video of scene from "Heathers"]
Play 'em all at once! It's sounds like the Borg! Well, if the Borg only assimilated retards!
Resistence is…YAYYYYYY! A PUPPPYYYYY!
it sounded like the beginning of a Butthole Surfers song.
"And Chuck, when you see your constituents, be sure to tell them SATAN SATAN SATAN!!!"
SATAN SATAN SATAN
OK, so let me see if I get this – the badgers are WI union members, and Scott Walker is clearly the snake. Mushrooms thrive when kept in the dark and fed a regular diet of bullshit, so they are by definition republican voters.
Another mystery solved!
Sweet Jesus on a golf tee, that was fun. Once you get 'em all started you have to race back to the top to get 'em going again, sort of like a sordid game of wack-a-mole. Old Chucky (wasn't there a movie about him?) really varied his delivery for the special conditions in each county/town/insane asylum.
Gah! That was the most fun I've had since I heard Paul Ryan declare "It's not a budget, it's a cause"!!!!
Chk Grsley is kmpletlee retarddd.
Isn't that spelled "kmplEt?
But yes, he is. And as a result he has a lock on his seat.
Oh man I just looked at the videos and it's creepy how he always smacks his lips at the end.
Also how he emphasizes words randomly:
"I'll be at THE! Bugtussle Diner next Tuesday. Hope to SEE! you there!"
Foreign languages are hard enough to learn – imagine trying to achieve native fluency in a language not invented on the planet you're from.
The lipsmacking is him catching insects attracted to the lights of TV cameras with his lizard-person tongue and eating them – it happens too fast for the human eye to see. Also, it explains his need to get in front of a camera whenever possible – he's hungry. Also also, he probably thinks the Bugtussle Diner serves, you know, bugs. Now that I think about it, they probably do. Hell, instead of a table I bet they put you in a glass cage where you wait for bored mall shoppers to walk by and throw a few quarters in the coin slot.
Don't get me started on the nictitating membranes he uses for eyelids.
Nubile, fawning interns and the abundant high-end canape notwithstanding, being a Senator would suck.
You say pixtur, I say picture. Let's call the whole thing off.
And it looks like he's got a corncob up his ass at the Washington County town meeting. Also.
Morgan Megan Rachel
Further proof that you should never trust someone with 3 names.
The speed is quick with the Downfister today. I barely hit the submit comment button and poor little Judy Jetson already has a big ole 0.
Because of the downfister's efforts, I am becoming disheartened with both liberalism and snark, probably will not give money or volunteer or vote for Obama or any democrat, ever, nor contribute snarkiness to a stupid liberal blog, ever.
I just donated to GE.
Good thinking — cut out the middleman.
He also went through and de-followed everyone on wonkette……after he went and followed everyone. That is fucking dedication. Either that or he's an unemployed closet case. Or both. Yeah, probably both.
I think it's a woman who is collecting disability for a raging yeast infection. Also, wears red lipstick and gets all agro when she sees some vanilla-scented tahitian nipplers….
If she does have a raging yeast infection I almost understand her depressingly shitty mood and the need to focus on something so intently so you aren't thinking about the fires of hell burning in your vajayjay. Yeast infections are the worst kind of awful.
But likely she isn't suffering one, so piss on you, downfister.
She sure is a fast little cockbot!
(please apply my comment to both the lurker and to judy jetson, that slut)
Is Grassley related to the Grass$eys? Also, is there some kind of device out there that Grassley could speak into which would abbreviate his gobbledygook into legible twitterspeak for him?
Looks like the senator has copped the duckface look that is the rage with so many of today's youth. Cool.
You guys need your p-rating fluffed back up. The downfister seems to be done at their shift at Burger King.
What's worse than anusburger?
Anusburger that was 'prepared' by Andy Breitfart's downfister minions.
~
I upfisted you baby, as the Kochbot was rampant, I have a big zero on one of my posts as well. Jesus he is such a turdface bastard.
He quit following all of us on IntenseDebate. I feel so bad now……COME BACK KOCHBOT!!!!
KEN! The downfist troll says you banned him so he can only take his frustration out by downfisiting and masturbation. PLEASE UNBAN HIM!!!! PLEASE!! ALL EAGLES MUST BE ALLOWED TO SOAR!!!
Please, not Ashcroft again.
That's just because you're allergic to sweat and saliva in your anusburger.
Grassley's tweets spell erudition with a capital AIR.
Wait, doesn't "six pack" refer to Abs? Clearly this must be a tranny volleyball team.
A big hand, ladies and gentlemen, for the gentlemen ladies with big hands.
I clicked all the clickies at the same time. You know, he made more sense that way. Not that Grassley made sense mind you, but that there was a collective coherence in playing them all at the same time that was missing if you listened to each one-at-a-time. Playing with the short scroll-down & click delay between each clip made it almost a fugue worthy of
BachBieber.Oh noes!!! You have unleashed the Apocolypse!!! RUN!!
Someone with editing skills needs to get on this series, warp his voice into some harmonics like Herr Ashcroft's barbershop quartet on quaaludes.
It actually impressed me how well he managed to repeat himself with altered
audienceteleprompter-directives, depending how many takes were shot, and pass himself off as composed.. Better off communicating this way than as a tweet-freak of nature.Just tried that and it is indeed wonderful. Like a choir of grumbling old men.
I just did it. Hardy Wonkette laughter. Now we know what a herd of elected ruminants sounds like. (Wilco will love you, distraught owl.)
I think GraSSley's twatter is having an early onset of eParkinson's.
Or he's just a dipshit. One or the other.
Ahhhh, its so sweet when old-timers attempt to get all hipsterish.
I did play them all at once, Jack. Because I'm inherently a glutton for punishment, and at beer-thirty am prone to such misogynist power of suggestion.
Memo to Chuxy Gras$stain: Needs more blooper reel footage at the end(s).
I'd sure like to see how the special FX were produced.
Jebus will never tell
misogynistcrap, I meant masochistic.Another beer for me, and another to rinse the bar of this troll's drool.
From what I can make out, Chuckles is involved with someone named "Jay Steam"(such and obvious nom de porn). So it's probably the love that dare not Tweet its name.
Is our children learning?
On that first one, is it possible that he's had his account hacked by Silvio Berlusconi?
STD or M4M?
Maybe the expunged video contained something scandalous, like his forbidden love of Reese's peanut butter cups and Reese's peanut butter eggs.
OMG video spam. I'm not watching that much back to back fail.
Also, learn to twat properly, mofo.
You could probably totally teach him how to use Twitter….
If you had infinite time….
And he was someone else.
Shit my Senator says.
Starring Charlie Sheen?
Obviously Sen. Grassley's extruding his Tweets from well known Des Moines gay bathhouse Jay Steam while cold riffin' Sixers of beer and volleyballing the transexual cover band The 3Ms. And he's got pixturs to prove it.
"Please bring your comments, and questions, … firearms, miss-spelled signs, Confederate\Don't Tread on me flags, boots for curb stomping, and crazy Uncle Larry to the _________ Town Hall Meeting."
p.s. please forget to take your med's.
Translation: Ah just got hit in the head with a sixer of Bear Whiz Beer and I'm watching Morgan Freeman pick the glass out of Megyn Kelly's skull. Eat me.
And some time with a therapist.
Yup, Bachmann is a lock to win the eyeohwha caucus.
You know who else was a dumb ass and posed awkwardly with voleybal'ers?
Borat?
Dubya?
Oh, shit I shudda, coulda clicked yer *else* clickie, but went to the Wonkette site instead for the same photog. Time for a beer.
I should have figured weejee, my bad. The Radio wasn't tuned quite yet in 2008 to the Wonkette frequency.
The wookie, owl, Mon. Grumpe, Serolf David, and zhubajie were all, however, there.
I made the same mistake. It must be the enginerd thing. I usually say "no whiskey on a school night", but whatevs.
half of southern California?
it's home to me so i can say that with impunity.
Misty May?
One fine ass.
Hard ass worker.
Apparently I, too, neglected to click through on your linky. It's definitely a Wonkette disease. We all think we're so darned clever.
Haha, Dewey, I thought you were being clever. That pic captured the other end of her alimentary canal, and, well, I'm not sure which end is better.
No, I didn't look at the fucking comments yet, but if someone said "elected ruminant" then I expect royalties. Ameros accepted.
If they didn't, well that would just figure, wouldn't it? Fucking day like today, fucking week like this, fucking year like this, fucking life like this. So yeah, figures a fucking loser like this couldn't make a stupid fucking meme like "elected ruminant" stick.
I've never heard of elected ruminent porn before.
i'm in a bad way, was desperate for a bit of affirmation. Owls is in a kind of bad place right now
Well going back to a paleolithic posting in September of ought nine, I have been able to dust-off my olde grey cells on the origin of the elected ruminates and take note of your
cudgelingcud-uhling of Senator Grazely.However Radio, V57, ttommy, and weej are oldes who's recent term memories, say anything within the last 15 years or so, moves slower than cud though a four-chambered stomach, but still produces the gas – hence why we are olde farts. We're lucky to remember what we had for breakfast. Our Millennial and GenX Wonketteers shoulda been right on that.
Consider yourself fully affirmed along with a couple of delectable little mousies through the intertubes.
Can't tell you how much this wee(jee) post means to me at a time that I needed it. Never thought a reply would make me weep like this, but it has and I thank you sincerely for being so kind as to reach out across the ether to a friend that's hurting. You really are a bit too good to be true. Lucky me, lucky us.
Sorry to hear this, owls, but didn't they pick your tip earlier? What better affirmation is there? You are hereby affirmed. Elected ruminant indeed (but is it limtd to jst gras$y or aal rpblcn snt3rs?)
Thanks UBR, sincerely thanks. Yes you are right, I shouldn't be whining since I did get a break that is ever so rare with the tip thing. I'll try to get over my self-pity self. Thanks again.
You know it cost James O'keefe $50,000 to teach Cornpants how to tweet like a douchebag.
42q9'z%**y^&v66h'~ ?
Just hd home Takn frm me by Repomen. Hav nothin 2liv fore aymore,but I kno that GOP I votd 4 is wrking hard 2 fx this cuntree. supr hard.
Playing them all at the same time makes as much sense as his tweets.
Isn't it past time for Chuckles Death Panel?
I dunno, I kinda find it endearing that Chuck Grass$$l$y tweets the way any lesser drunk would merely speak. That takes commitment, when you think about it.
Did not watch the videos of Senator Raisin Nads, I've had my quota of bullshit for the day, fuck you very much.
Chuckie baby, please stop being a twit…
Oh shit, somebody get a medic, he's having a Twitter seizure. A Tweizure, if you will.
Is it me, or does he look like Daisy Mae the cow? And nice to see the overpaid dipshit making 400K wasting his time on twitter.
Daisy Mae the elected ruminant.
That's cud libel!
Chill, all you haters! It's just Palinese! Gotta celebrate it!
What the fuck is a "County Town" meeting?
Meetings with constituents in facilities with outdoor plumbing.
A meeting in a town with more than 300 residents, probably. Some place like Storm Lake.
Alert: downfister afoot…
Big deal. It takes all of 5 minutes to undo his shit, and Wonkette gets even MORE money. And until I can pay for groceries with pee-points, I really don't give a fuck what number it is.
Sixpack? Is that three women with two tits?
Or is it two women with three tits?
Awesome.
Eccentrica Gallumbits?
Prick.
+1
Could be Eccentrica Gallumbits big sister.
Total Recall starring Chuck Grassley as Doug Quaaaaid…
It's when six massively hung GOProud astroturfers pack your unlube'd, puckered brown rose with their six hot jets of creamy jism. Next question.
oh dear. in other words, when republicans get elected?
Chuckles, you old devil you. Who'da thunk it that you were bi. Batting from both sides of the plate–do you think it'll get you more votes? I also didn't know that you were into threesomes, with Morgan, Megan, and Rachel. Ya think they're real names? Could they have been blow-up dollies and you just thought that they didn't move much? And old Jay'Steam the buttsecks champ! Were you up at the Playboy Mansion getting lessons from Hef? You told us you were hiking the Appalachian Trail, you naughty man.
These messages just scream "TELEPROMPTER."
Senator Chuckles Grassley, The Bard of Twitter, or Bitter Tard? I'm thinking the latter, but it doesn't matter cause he's the senator for Archer Daniels Midland!!!1!!! More corn squeezins in your soda, your gas tank, more moneys for ADM!!!1!!!1!!!!
"GOD HATES TWITTER"
Heyzuz, Maria, y MumblyJoe why in Christ's name would the troll downfist you for that????
why does iowa have so many counties?
All the better to independent-homeskool-commission you with!
Also, for no reason, here's a team photo (no sign of Megan but Jay'Steam, Morgan, and Rachel all present and accounted for).
came from this page
Judging from the adult dude's expressions in the photos, there is no position in Jockistan more utterly humiliating than coaching a girl's basketball team. Round these here parts, we call it "grinnin' like a jackass eatin' bull thistles." Or, as some would have it, "like a cat eatin' bees."
Obvs "pixturs" was an allusion to "Pixar". Gra$$ley totally identifies with the Ed Asner character from Up, what with all the death panels and all, and he's so 733t that he knew all his "followers" would totally get that reference.
I rest my case.
Hey downfister, if you don't stop, I'm going to QUIT visiting this lib-commie site.
I don't think Jefferson or Adams could have written it better themselves.
God I hate fucking twitter. What a nation (world?) of idiots we've become.
4 scr&7yrs ago are fthrs set 3th 4th on contnnt a nu ntn; cncvd inlbrte[ &dedictd 2 prop % akk men R crtd =
where's the Wisconsin election live blog?
Yes, I, too, was hoping some of our beloved cheeseheads would check in tonight. Maybe they're exhausted from driving olds to the polls all day.
Its fuckin close, Prosser is up by 400 votes with 92% in, no idea what precincts are still out.
705k Prosser, 703k Klop, ….were doomed
I don't think we're going to know until the morning. and even then there may well be a recount.
yup
if this doesn't go our way, I just don't know what else we could have done. the Wisconsin airwaves have been amazingly barraged w/ political ads. it's disheartening to think of the thousands upon thousands who made their way to Madison to protest and still the vote is this close. I guess it's easier to scoot your hoverround to the nearest polling place and vote.
I just checked out some Republican blogs (she said, drying her hands). They're running scared, begging their faithful in Wisconsin to turn out.
this is insane. after 1.4 million votes counted, the difference is about 1,800 for Prosser. http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/files/elections/2011…
Dane County (home of Madison) went 73% for Kloppenburg. http://www.countyofdane.com/clerk/elect2011b.html…
Well, now we know where the sane people live (as if we didn't know before). Good luck!
And, it's black people that get made fun of for "talking funny", right?
I love Iowa. It's home of John Deere. I love Texas as it is my home and Ann Richards was my governor.
Chuck can suck my ball sack full of lightly salted rat dicks.
I still love Iowa and Texas.
Delta is ready when Cornpants is and they fly to Minneapolis-St. Paul, where I hear they have mens' rooms.
"and if you wouldn't care, I would like to leave. and if you wouldn't mind, I would like to breathe."
What doesn't?
Play them all one after the other and it's like "Row Row Row Your Boat." Gently down the stream.
If you play them all at once, the effect is much like being eaten alive by zombies at a midwestern insurance broker convention.
Chuckie's fuckin' Angels.
Apparently, Chuck is the wandering one.
Kochbot is Ashcroft! Really–that's what he does all day.
You are more than welcome bud. We all need a hug from time-to-time.
[reaches hand out across the interwebs] oh owl. "Pooh had wandered into the Hundred Acre Wood, and was standing in front of what had once been Owl's house. It didn't look at all like a house now, it looked like a tree that had been blown down; and as soon as a house looks like that, it is time you tried to find another one."
bother.
here for you. take care.
That's what cyber-friends are for — and I mean that with the utmost sincerity.
Human Centipede? I'm down.
Didn't think it was whining–wanted to sincerely affirm you. Yours are among the posts I look for and aspire to. Truly sorry you're hurting and wish there was more a disconnected aetherial being could do.
User-of-owls:
Haven't heard from you for a couple of days. Concerned. How you doing?
What undeterred said–also hope all is well.
And if it comes to fisticuffs, we'll give old Johnny Ruminant a good drubbing, I daresay.
Owls? Are you ok? I am snuggling with you across the internets, next I will make you a deicious breakfast and we can crawl back into bed and watch TCM all day.
It's so fucked up that teevee ads are a big influence on the political process. 30 seconds of totally slanted, glossy, baloney. Repeated ad nauseum. And then when I hear Obama has a billion dollar war chest for 2012, I just puke.
It's ALL about the money and keeping enough rubes around to keep the machine greased.
what was kind of funny, from a distance, is that both pro-Prosser and anti-Prosser used the same photo (here you go http://www.justiceprosser.com/files/8912/9045/096…
8000 absentee ballots left in Milwaukee, R expected to take Walkers seat was soundly beaten (62% against).
Madison had a 70% voter turn out.
Linky not working.
BTW, where did your underscores go, N_I_C?
From none other than the Weekly Standard; " With 98% of precincts reporting, Prosser has about a 2,000 vote lead out of nearly 1.5 million ballots cast. The potentially bad news for Prosser is that of the uncounted precincts, most of them are in counties that voted for Kloppenburg: 12 in Milwaukee, 1 in Dane, 21 in Eau Claire, 6 in Ashland." Nate Silver MUST be Hard!
stupid parenthesis! no touchy this time.
http://www.justiceprosser.com/files/8912/9045/096…
as for where my underscores went, hell, I don't know. one morning I was no longer "natl[redacted]cmdr" but back to plain ol' natl indecency cmdr. did you like? I will try to put them back.
everything is crazy and gross. I should be on tv w/ such analysis, don't you think?
according to the AP, it is less than a 600 vote margin for Prosser with 3596 out of 3630 precincts. at this rate, I may run out of booze.
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/files/elections/2011…
Come over to Huff Po, its a candle light vigil.
solidarity forever, solidarity forever. solidarity forever. the unions make us strong.
which what where?
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