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'The lowly should shut up. These rich people really need a tax cut.'“Jesus’ entire discipleship program with his apostles was an academy designed to prepare them for service in the political arena.” Oh, right, of course, Bryan Fischer. Christianity is really nothing more than one bearded guy’s boutique political consulting/candidate training shop. “I will wash your feet, then you go forth and wash the feet of wealthy campaign bundlers and make sure they bring in the big bucks so you can make a large media buy,” said Christ to the disciples. Bryan Fischer knows Jesus wanted Christians to be politicians. But he didn’t want just any kind of politicians; he wanted politicians that cut social programs for poor people. Yep, that sounds like Jesus.

People pursue public office for one of two reasons, one contrary to the spirit of Christ, the other consistent with it. Some – perhaps most – pursue public office because they want to control other people. They see themselves as the smartest people in the room, the elite, people so smart that they believe they should make lifestyle choices for other people, for the benighted masses who are too stupid to make intelligent decisions for themselves. This, Jesus says, is how the “Gentiles” do it, but it is “not so with you.”

Others – sadly, the great minority – pursue public office because they want to liberate people rather than control them. They want people free to make choices that affect their own lives without the interference of the overreaching hand of government. They want to free their constituents to engage in the God-given right to the “pursuit of happiness” without bureaucrats defining happiness for them. This is public service in the spirit of Christ.

“Go forth and let businesses pollute my lands,” Jesus said. “And let them see if they can kill off any of the species my Father created while they’re at it. When you serve Big Business, you serve me.”

This would lead the Christ-centered statesman to gradually get government out of the welfare business altogether, for example, because welfare has done more damage to children than any thing government has done.

“Bring me your lepers, poor people, the lame, all those fuckers,” Jesus said, “so I can tell them to get a job.”

Bottom line: we need more people in public office who think like Christ and fewer people who think like Karl Marx.

Bottom line: we need to pretend Christ was a consummate capitalist who hated helping the poor, and that way we can say Jesus hates Democrats. [AFA]

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