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TIM PAWLENTY 2012! Sorry, NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER!

Why did God put the White House, Capitol, and Supreme Court building next to each other, put a building-size flag over it all, and subject them to huge human hands that look like they’re about to crush all of this but instead are praying? When God steals the plot of Honey, I Blew Up the Kid, you know He’s pissed.

That’s right: God is going to make RAIN happen if you don’t pray! Have you ever been rained on before? Obviously you haven’t, as all rain does is murder people. Stop playing the Bible games on your Wii and read the Bible instead. Or God will WATER YOUR CROPS. You don’t want that. [Videogum]

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