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Woman Attacks National Gallery Gauguin Painting For Featuring Boobs

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Screaming “This is evil,” a woman tried to pull Gauguin’s “Two Tahitian Women” from a gallery wall Friday and banged on the picture’s clear plastic covering, said Pamela Degotardi of New York, who was there.

What was wrong with the painting? Was it the heaping melons? No, it was the three (3) total exposed boobs of the ladies depicted in the painting.

The painting’s alleged attacker was “tackled by a guy who was visiting the gallery,” Degotardi said. She described him as a social worker from the Bronx.

Nice work. But perhaps he could have also pulled down her top, which would have shocked her and everyone else around, because who knew that women have breasts? Surely she would have then apologized for her mistake and would never do this again. [WP]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barbara_i

    If she's offended by boobs and has to attack them they should have just stuck her in a taxi and sent her to D.C. It would be nice to see someone in this country working full time again.

  • metamarcisf

    The evil underground army of Bryan Fischer strikes again.

  • nounverb911

    "Woman Attacks National Gallery Gauguin Painting For Featuring Boobs"
    Are the boobs in Congress next?

  • DaRooster

    It's kinda like TV or movies people… Don't fucking go or watch if boobies offend you. Change the fucking channel and keep your paws off of the boobs… You all are NOT the boss of me.

    Thank you… moron.

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    Huh, I didn't know John Ashcroft had a sister.

  • ablington

    I advocate attacking Gauguin paintings for being Gauguin paintings, but certainly not for boobs. While she's at it she should also consider taking a box cutter to Les Demoiselles d'Avignon.

    • CliveWarren

      "Les Demoiselles d'Avignon"

      I remember when it was perfectly politically correct to call that place "Ivory Coast." What is next, elitists? "Estados Unidos Mexicanos?" Actually FOX might run with that, sounds scary…

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    Hope the jail she's sent to doesn't have group showers. Although a B-movie about it would be worth watching.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Sybil Danning/Linda Blair FTW.

  • PsycWench

    I clicked through to the story which has the painting. My first thought was that people from that era might not even recognize the boobs of today, instead treating them as some sort of shiny tumor.

    • Guppy06

      She was offended by the lack of silicone.

  • edgydrifter

    Ladies and gentlemen, meet your next Republican presidential candidate.

  • not that Dewey

    Boob libel.

  • Come here a minute

    Sounds like the type who sees no irony in loving the government teat.

  • rambone

    I'm assuming that she hadn't made it to the Robert Mapplethorpe collection yet . . .

  • SorosBot

    Look at the comments; despite being offended by tits and being an obvious social conservative wingnut, she's not, just like Loughner, the IRS plane guy, etc. etc. she's just mentally ill.

    • onemoretime79

      Because 1) she's a woman and 2) she wasn't armed w/either a gun or a plane?

  • Badonkadonkette

    House Republicans introduce a resolution to honor this brave American in 5…4…3….

  • XOhioan

    We're really jumping to conclusions, here. The woman in the painting nearly has her tits in the food platter. Maybe the visitor was concerned about food safety and sanitation.

    • whiterabid

      Or public breast feeding?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Well with tits it's better to jump first and ask questions later…

  • OC_Cesium-137 _Serf

    Issues with early 20C art? then you gotta see Duchamp's Nude Descending a Staircase, No. 2 where there are hundreds of breastesessess…(at least that's what I see)

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      Oh man I loves me some Duchamp. She really oughta head up to Philly and check out his Etant Donnes http://booksoupbookstore.blogspot.com/2009/11/mar

      Fortunately, it's sealed behind a thick door. You have to peek through a little hole in the door to see it.

      • dinkybossetti

        If I were the kind of person who assaults works of art in museums, I would definitely have assaulted that one. I had no idea what I was getting into when I first looked through that peephole, and no idea what to make of it when I first stepped away. It is genius.

  • widestanceroman

    What are the laws regarding concealed sweater puppies in DC?

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    Ah yes, how to down fist something you don't like in a museum. Also, I'd love to see our downfister tackled by a social worker form the Bronx.

    And also also: "If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer." – Lenny Bruce

  • LouBristol

    AAARRGGH!! BROWN PEEPUL!!!

  • Callyson

    Breasts? Is that all? JFC, when I heard about this I thought it was the implicit lesbianism that offended this nutcase. At least, that's what I see in this work: http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/works-of-art/49.58….

  • rambone

    If only Gauguin had stuck with painting pretty flowers, like that nice Georgia O'Keefe . . .

    • memzilla

      ♪♫ Look fooooor… the Union labial…. ♫♪

  • http://www.fifthinternational.org/content/education-programme 4TheTurnstiles

    Go to a famous art museum, freak out because there's famous art inside.

    This patriot has half-term governor Win written all over her.

  • SexySmurf

    it was the three (3) total exposed boobs of the ladies depicted in the painting.

    Boobs should never come in odd numbers.

    • tcaalaw

      But, but, Total Recall???

  • Steverino247

    Good news for PsychWench's students, though. A Rorschach Inkblot Test will now be administered to all visitors to the Museum. Anybody giving a whacked response will not be allowed entrance. Social workers from the Bronx will be standing by to assist security officers.

    Psych: What might this be?

    Visitor: This is Evil!

    Psych: Social worker, please.

    SMACK!

    By the way, the Bronx Social Workers endorse this training video: http://www.wonderhowto.com/how-to-tackle-football

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Tits for daze….

  • karen

    Damn that's a hot painting for 1899. Mmmhmmm.

  • Mumbletypeg

    She's almost as folk-song-inspirin' as old Senator Helms —

    "Jesse's favorite picture is one of a clown
    With a flower in his hand and a tear rollin' down"
    ♪♫
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcOpa4aHcSY

  • Angry_Marmot

    Breasts are bad for children?

  • Limeylizzie

    When I was 16 I worked part-time in my local library and an artst used to come in every day and he was always sketching me , he was old -probably about 45(!), and one day he called me over and told me I looked lke Hogarth's "The Shrimp Girl" and I thought that it was nice because she had a sweet smile, later I realised she also had big bosoms. Glad no-one has ever attacked me for them.

    • James Michael Curley

      In heady company are ye? Feilding, in "Tom Jones" visualizes two of his charactures as looking like figures from Hogarth; Thwackum and Mrs. Partridge. Unfortunately from the series of etchings "A Harlot's Progress."

  • SayItWithWookies

    If that's her reaction to the humble and glorious tit, the Georgia O'Keefe museum should file a restraining order against this woman immediately.

  • Angry_Marmot

    Regina Mundi.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    If she doesn't like boobs on the wall, she should definitely avoid the internet. Especially boobs.com. Also Chuck Norris' hangout – WorldNetDaily (wnd.com).

  • Gopherit

    She can hate these Tahitian beauties and their god given bounty, but she'd still vote for any of the moob triplets (Christie, Huckabee, Newt). There is no sense to be made from the tea party hell into which we have fallen.

  • ThankYouJeebus

    Which in Teatard Land means Kenyan. I bet they're socialist too!

  • Redhead

    "who knew that women have breasts? "

    This is what happens when the Republicans do away with sex ed. No more communist understanding of teh sexual parts and how they work!

  • Tommmcattt

    If we could just hook her up with Downfist Boy we might just have a love match…

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    It wasn't just that they were boobs, but they were brown, nubile boobs. I'm surprise there wasn't a line of poor white men masturbating out of control in front of it. This woman has done our land a service!

  • GregComlish

    When I see sexual imagery my body has an erotic response which, due to my repressive upbringing, causes me a deep sense of shame. I reconcile this shame by lashing out in ridiculous fits of moral outrage.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Or as they call it at my house: "Tuesday."

  • http://assistantatlas.blogspot.com/ assistantatlas

    The teabaggers are attacking our most sacred natural treasure: breasts! Arty ones that are okay to display in public! This time the wingnuts have gone too far! Give me breasts or give me death!!!one!!!

  • http://www.fxexchangerate.com/ fxgeorges

    Doesn't sound like the worst art attack in history, but it's a shame the nuts have to ruin it for everyone else.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    I don't know art, but I know that I like boobs.

  • CessnaDriver

    "Don't point those things at me, they might be loaded!"

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    A modern variation of the lift cords combines them with the rotational cords in slots on the two edges of each slat. This avoids the slots otherwise required to allow a slat to rotate despite a lift cord passing through it, thus decreasing the amount of light passing through a closed blind. Slat width can be between 16–120 mm, with 25 mm being a common width.