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And what do you think their hands are up to?When your corporation needs to take care of some troublesome “environmental and regulatory matters” in Wisconsin, heh heh, just go see the dumb kid who never graduated college but did manage two DUI convictions, because that dumb kid is earning $81,5000 a year as one of Governor Scott Walker’s top-paid people in the administration. But how did this young GOP idiot, Brian Deschane, get such a sweet job suckling on the public teat? Easy! According to the Journal Sentinel’s Daniel Bice, Brian Deschane’s father is “Jerry Deschane, executive vice president and longtime lobbyist for the Madison-based Wisconsin Builders Association, which bet big on Walker during last year’s governor’s race.” Haha, now that’s the kind of contribution that really pays off!

Imagine you’re Jerry Deschane, a Republican lobbyist for the crooked home-construction industry. You need to smooth the way for your clients’ pillage, and you would also like to get your ne’er-do-well failure of a son out of the house. He couldn’t even finish college!

And how drunk was this kid, Brian Deschane, to get two DUI convictions when his dad is a Republican lobbyist who hobnobs with the likes of Scott Walker?

What was it that made Brian such an attractive candidate? Was it the lack of a resume, or was it the drunk driving? Did Walker think the environment needed a fun spoiled-brat friend who knows how to party?

“It doesn’t look like he’s ever had a real job,” Rep. Brett Hulsey (D-Madison) said.

Hulsey noted that the recently approved law that made collective bargaining changes converts 37 top agency attorneys, communications officials and legislative liaisons from civil service positions to jobs appointed by the governor.

“This is an example of the quality of candidates you’re going to get,” said Hulsey

Anyway, Scott Walker is all about JOBS, especially (specifically) if you give Scott Walker’s campaign a couple of sacks of money. Because Scott Walker will make that money go to work for you, if you are the person who paid the money to Scott Walker. Jerry Deschane of the Wisconsin Builders Association got Maximum Value out of the $121,652 he handed to Scott Walker: Not only does the Wisconsin Builders Association now have somebody on the payroll in charge of “environmental and regulatory matters,” but that same drunken failure kid is also earning $81,500 from Wisconsin taxpayers. Score! [JS Online]

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  • In Walker's defense, Deschane was the most qualified drunken failure kid of a campaign contributor available.

    • nounverb911

      I'm sure there are some Bush kids looking for jobs.

    • kevintkeith

      Apparently George Bush forgot to send in a check.

    • spinozasgod

      don't the koch bros have any spawn?

      • JoeBiteme

        Sure, in Pattaya…

  • memzilla

    It's an unholy union you can believe in.

  • DaRooster

    Does HE have bargaining rights?

    (I know… stoopid question)

    • genxr

      He doesn't need bargaining rights. He has the invisible hand of the free market.

      • AutomaticPilot

        So this "reacharound" that everyone's talking about – that is done by the invisible hand?

      • emmelemm

        Also known as SACKS OF MONEY.

  • Lucidamente1

    Laugh all you want, but at least Brian Deschane didn't get where he is through collective bargaining.

    • xsluggo

      Why do you hate affirmative action for the socially over-privileged? Haven’t they suffered enuf?

  • baconzgood

    I had a deschane once. He was great. He could fetch the paper and when you'd rub his belly in the right place his leg would do that little cute kicking thing….Man I loved that dog.

    • freakishlywrong

      This Deschane probably fetches things as well.

      • widestanceroman

        This Deschane probably felches things as well.

        fixed (sorry, freakish, I've never "fixed" another's comment before, but I did upfist you 6 times if that helps)

    • unclejeems

      Yep, I had me one of them once. Sucker'd eat candy kisses at Christmas–you know, them little chocolate bits wrapped in shiny foil. Then, the mutt'd crap out in the back yard the next day, and take his time doin it. Oh, my, how the sun glittered offa them turds! Red, yellow, blue and green–why, all the colors of the rainbow!

      More or less the same effect hyar, I reckons.

  • FNMA

    So that's where I went wrong. I really need to work on my drinking.

    • So why is it that my drinking hasn't paid off? I must be doin' it wrong since I have no DUIs.

      • CrankyLttlCamperette

        So this is why I can't find a job? I plainly haven't been drinking enough.

      • LesPaultard

        I've found it builds muscle.

        • Breitbart twink

          I upfisted you on name alone.

    • baconzgood

      I can help you with that. I have an intensive program that lasts 8 weeks. Afterward you'll be able to attend an Irish Wedding and/or Wake. GUARANTEED!

    • horsedreamer_1

      Guess I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

  • Come here a minute

    That's a hell of a lot better than an unpaid internship.

    • finallyhappy

      Crap yes, I have one kid who got her degree in WIsconsin- and is doing an unpaid internship and a kid who got his degree in Maryland and has a poorly paid job. My kids do not drink to excess(ok, one might but not while driving) and I bet they are both way smarter- so I will offer both of my kids to do this job and they will do it for less money. Where do they apply????

  • SheriffRoscoe

    It's like Walker's shoving the Washington Monument up Wisconsin's ass.

    • spooked911

      without a condom!

  • poncho_pilot

    only two dui convictions? what kind of Wisconsite is this guy?

    • poncho_pilot

      seriously, i know a guy in Madison who got two dui's in one night.

    • powersuit

      he's a starter drunk.

      • DahBoner

        Drinking is a gateway drug to Nepotism…

    • comptoneffect

      Fuck, this kid is a complete failure at everything he does!

    • horsedreamer_1

      It's not even a felony 'til the third incident.

  • nounverb911

    And how drunk was this kid, Brian Deschane, to get two DUI convictions?"
    Deschane's mistake was not living in Montana, where they encourage DUI's.

  • Barbara_i

    Walker probably thought that DUI="doing unions in" and thought the jerk would be perfect for the job.

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      DUI= Driving Unions Insane.

  • [redacted]hse

    I mostly hate these people for making me hate them, and I hate that. It's not nice to hate.

  • LettucePrey

    You know who ELSE was the drunk-driving loser son of a well-connected crony?

    • nounverb911

      Dick Cheney?

    • poncho_pilot

      Ted Kennedy?

    • nounverb911

      Mel Gibson?

    • undeterredbyreality

      Charlie Sheen?

    • Kelsey Grammer?

    • [redacted]hse

      My father is NOT well-connected.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Yes, and proud were his parents. Proud we all were, until he bailed out those banks.

    • DaRooster

      W

    • nounverb911

      Laura Bush?

    • chicken_thief

      Leave George alone. Jar Fetus was going to roll off the seat…

    • DownFist Troll

      Al Gore jr?

      • spooked911

        to be fair, he was stoned on pot, not drunk

    • SorosBot

      Prince Harry?

    • LabRodent

      My boss.

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      All of them.

    • Steverino247

      Kim Jong Il?

    • W C Fields?
      No. I'm not that old so shut up.

    • widestanceroman

      Not fair, who wasn't?

      Oh, alright: WALNUTS?

    • PublicLuxury

      Bin Laden?

    • Radio_______

      Yukov Dzhugashvili?

    • undeterredbyreality

      The Fitzgeralds (all of them)?

    • Nipsey Russell?

      • finallyhappy

        you must be as old as me to know Nipsey Russell!
        So you are OLD!

    • GOPCrusher

      Pat O'Brien?

    • user-of-owls

      Edsel Ford?

    • AutomaticPilot

      Jesus H. Christ?

    • Spirochete Agnew?

    • James Dean, too soon?

    • Johnny Quest?

    • unclejeems

      Donald Trump.

  • DaRooster

    "Because Scott Walker will make that money go to work for you"…

    However, if that money truly does ANY real work… it shall be flogged to near death, placed in the stocks and stoned at noon on Tuesday.

    • EatsBabyDingos

      "I'll sign up for the "Stoned at noon" part if I get to hold the buds….oh, that kind of stoning.

  • PsycWench

    Countdown to "Heckuva job, Deshie!"…

  • DownFist Troll

    The free market at work! Can't explain it!

    • Invisible handjob.

      • nounverb911

        Is that the downfisters newest name?

        • unclejeems

          Hah hah! Ken that's great! Nounverb911, excellent!

    • Steverino247

      Nephews go in, nephews go out. You can't explain it, but you can define "nepotism" and point out good examples.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    In Wisconsin we just call DUI "driving".

    • Negropolis

      WIN

  • smokefilledroommate

    What's he going to regulate? Beer pong?

    • Well, c'mon on now, that Milwaukee's Best isn't just going to drink itself, now is it?

      • I've tasted that stuff and it is definitely not Milwaukee's Best.

    • unclejeems

      His urine stream.

  • CapeClod

    It sounds like this loser isn't even qualified for one of those 50,000 new jobs McDonalds is offering.

  • freakishlywrong

    True to type. Beady, off kilter badger eyes.

  • [redacted]hse

    LOL- or cheeks on a butt.

  • prommie

    Another prime example of the John Galt-like republican hero, the man who achieves and attains in life through merit, hard work and individual effort. This story just proves all the flaws in evil welfare socialism collectivism. There's a lesson in this story for all those good-for-nothing lazy poors ("nears"); look what you can do, quit looking to the government to hand you things, go out there and grab that brass ring!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      " There's a lesson in this story for all those good-for-nothing lazy poors ("nears"); look what you can do, quit looking to the government to hand you things, go out there and grab that ass ring!" Fixed it.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      Ah that makes it clearer. He grabbed the brass ring.
      Who knew Scott Walker had a piercing down there!

  • [redacted]hse

    "What made Milwaukee famous
    Made a loser out of me."

  • Rosie_Scenario

    Drunk drives in, drunk drives out.

  • Not_So_Much

    Well, let's not rush to judgment on dipshits who didn't graduate college getting drunk and smashing into things all the time. Little close to home for some of us. (I mean Billy Joel, not just me.)

    • poncho_pilot

      i told you not to drive but you made it home alive.

  • SorosBot

    This kid's making a lot of money despite not being qualified for anything beyond flipping the burgers at McDonalds? Someone set him up with Bristol.

    • jus_wonderin

      "Heck of a job, Brian."

  • Boredw/Gravitas

    Hey, these guys are rich and white — I don't see a problem here.

  • alaninthecastro

    This guy has " future FEMA Director" written all over him.

    • CivicHoliday

      Only if one of his DUIs occurred while riding horses

    • unclejeems

      Could happen. Scott's just one election away from, you know, the Big Chair!

  • chicken_thief

    Folks, calm down. It's simply another budget balancing maneuver that has to be done.

  • sezme

    Drunken son of a rich Republican SOB, hmm?

    Brian Deschane/Jenna Bush 2016!

    • The Bush twins are paragons of modesty and decency and hard work compared to this crop of young GOP crooks.

      • sezme

        Sorry, I meant Meaghan McCain.

      • And waaaaay more fuckable.

        • horsedreamer_1

          I'd do Barbara (the younger) before I'd do Jenna.

          Though, I'm pretty sure Jenna would be more apt to do me than would be Barbara, since Jenna's not getting any from that frat-boy-hazing closet-case she has for a husband.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    Just how do you build a badger, anyway?

    • poncho_pilot

      the badger to nowhere.

    • alaninthecastro

      Very, very carefully.

  • edgydrifter

    Future Wisconsin appointments we'll be reading about include:
    Dept. of Revenue–> Bernie Madoff
    Dept. of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection–> Monsanto
    Dept. of Natural Resources–> a human skull floating in a bucket of mercury

    • MarshallBanana

      Okay, you got a laugh out of me with that last one. Thanks — I was really wondering if that was possible anymore.

  • widestanceroman

    Walker is really rubbing it in SP's face over how to run a for-profit state.

  • What's wrong with that dude's head? Like he's been keeping it warm under a hotlamp at the K-Mart "Eatery". The rich have no sense.

  • Steverino247

    We don't need no stinking Badgers!

  • Come here a minute

    On the bright side, the kid is probably stupid enough to let the civil service types enforce some of the "environmental and regulatory" laws and get his daddy's pals in trouble.

    • emmelemm

      Unfortunately, they're never QUITE that stupid. Or, to put it another way, they take orders directly from their daddies, who've been around long enough not to be stupid (just massively, massively evil).

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Remember that government is the problem instead of the solution, and Walker is desperately trying to prove it.

  • Oldskool_

    I liked him better when he was Ronald McDonald.

  • FNMA

    Wife? We're talking about right-wingers here so it would be either son or dog.

  • Jerri

    It's like Walker is going through a "How to be the biggest prick in government ever" checklist.

    Fuck this. My next life, I'm coming back as a spoiled, stupid, idle child of the wealthiest barons around. (Except with my luck I'll come back in some parallel universe in which money is worthless and it's hard work and helping others that really helps you get ahead, and I'll be in the same boat I'm in now.)

    • Weenus299

      You know it sweetie. Every day here in SC, I ask myself, why can't I be a dumb retard who wears fratboy clothes with palmettos on it, attend steeplechases, partner up with buddy lawyers and bankers? My whole family needs to take a crash course in lying-sniveling-weaselry.

      • Jerri

        why can't I be a dumb retard who wears fratboy clothes with palmettos on it, attend steeplechases, partner up with buddy lawyers and bankers?

        When you break it down like that, being a member of the great unwashed doesn't seem so bad after all.

      • SorosBot

        Or to be a big-breasted, empty-headed daughter of a failed Presidential candidate and a beer baroness; you'd never have to do real work a day in your life and get on the TV with the media treating your opinions as important.

    • poncho_pilot

      i hear he's writing a book: How To Bake Friends And Eliminate People.

      too soon?

    • spooked911

      the sad thing is that he has so much competition

  • Come here a minute

    A spokesman for the governor said Walker's team was aware of Deschane's two drunken-driving convictions, the most recent of which occurred in 2008.

    "We . . .  felt he had changed his habits and that these past incidents would in no way affect his performance at this job," said Walker spokesman Cullen Werwie.

    Yeah, how dare the governor's enemies bring up a youthful indiscretion that occurred way back .3 decades ago!

  • DaRooster

    Look at those two feces…

    -fixed

  • Fare la Volpe

    Mr. Deschane, Mr. Deschane! Is there any way a fresh-faced young upstart like myself can get in on the exciting and dynamic field of Nepotism too, also?

    • SorosBot

      Sure; find some young dumb political spawn of your preferred gender like this dude and bang the shit out of them.

  • Steverino247

    How do you spell corruption? W-A-L-K-E-R!

    • Rotundo_

      Now now, Scooter's just givin' a kid of one of his friends a chance at some redemption here. Now 81 and a half large a year *is* a pretty robust starting wage in these times of government cutbacks, but Scooter's heart is in the right place giving this poor wayward son of a friend a chance to make something of himself and do some good work for the state of Wisconsin in the bargain. SNARK OFF I imagine junior will spend his days swilling coffee and nursing hangovers while being driven around by state troopers who will be delighted to clean the Jack and Coke vomit and semen stains out of the back seat of their cars daily.

  • aguacatero

    This guy could never be hired as either of the two public school teachers whose salaries his consumes.

    • DahBoner

      $81,500 a year buys a lot of beer

      Those two teachers would just waste all their money on school supplies…

    • Rotundo_

      Depending on the district, it could be more like three starting salaries.

  • jus_wonderin

    Ya know, you hardly ever see Otis in an episode with Ernest T. Ass. The photo finally shows them together.

  • Weenus299

    Depends. Is he a union drunk or a scab?

  • Ducksworthy

    So what? His job is not to understand or enforce the law. Its to make it all better for his donors.

  • I recently emailed a relative in Wisconsin and put in a little jab about Walker. His response made it sound like lynching is being considered by many Wisconsinites. I suggested stoning with frozen bratwurst.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Must have run out of Fitzgeralds to appoint (sorry, this is an inside joke to those of us unfortunate enough to live in Fitzwalkerstan.)

  • El Pinche

    This is asshole is predictable. I also predict he's a one termer.

    • SorosBot

      Considering how well the recall petitions are going (one was just turned in, in half the required time, with about 150% of the required signatures), more likely a half-termer like Sarah.

      • unclejeems

        Just in time to run for President. He'll stand head and shoulders above that crowd. Or not.

    • mourningnmerica

      Fuck that. All kidding aside, aren't they gathering signatures now? If not, why not? I live in Kansas, and I will send money into the state to bone that overreaching corporatist fuck. When is the one year period up? I want the recall election the next fucking day. The next, goddamn, fucking, cocksucking day.

      • PuckStopsHere

        Way to work "cocksucking" in there. Excellent usage. Really. Excellent.

  • poncho_pilot

    "I used to rub mine with just a little mayonaise."

    same goes for the downfister.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Badger Builder? Badgers are built? I always thought there were born'd like other mammals.

    • SorosBot

      I'm surprised that, with that magazine's name, no one has linked to this internet classic yet:
      http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/

      • poncho_pilot

        omg. that's fucking intense.

      • that was like a fever dream. thank you. does it ever stop?

        • SorosBot

          I don't believe so. Did you make it to the snake? I think that was thrown in just to freak out stoners watching.

      • rubyslippers

        There's a newer, better badger meme these days http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg

        • Jerri

          That badger doesn't give a shit about badger memes.

    • Negropolis

      Built not born!

  • LesPaultard

    With a new $80k salary he can afford the gas and the payments.

  • Ducksworthy

    So what was Bremmer paid for his find fine job?

  • aguacatero

    Big Dick Day on Wonkette continues:

    In 2006, Deschane was the campaign director for Magnum for Congress.

    • Ducksworthy

      So OK. You made me look up this douche Magnum. He's listed as a "former radio personality". What does that mean? That he formerly had a personality?

  • Steverino247

    I'm not talking about the guys who came here from Wisconsin to make dairy products. I'm talking about the Badgers who peed on my right to bargain collectively! It tied the whole Labor movement together, man.

  • Radio_______

    These downfisters are fucking idiots. spankyb, microphallus (microcephalus?) here are a few of his/her/its comments:

    The Wankers are very intolerant.

    They like when people stop by and "downfist" their posts.

    Join me! ;)

    Or:

    Wonkette admins seem pretty scared that a couple of conservative posters are going to beat them up.

    • neiltheblaze

      Microphallus – at last! Truth in troll advertizing!

      • DahBoner

        # SIZE OF BRAIN DOES MATTER

    • fuflans

      i would like the tards to know the only thing i fear is running out of liquor.

    • Come here a minute

      I hesitate to point it out, I really do, but this meta discussion is all troll food.

      Please do not feed the trolls.

      • Radio_______

        You're right. But it's the first time I actually clicked on one of my followers and I couldn't believe how inane, petty, immature, and ludicrous these fucktards are.

  • DahBoner

    Ayn Rand was right–you really do get to where you are based on pure merit!

    Sent from my DUI Conviction 2

  • user-of-owls

    Oh, now you've gone and done it. The Sindicato de Payasos is gonna be all over you for that crack.
    http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Strange-News/El-

  • Radio_______

    Full Disclosure:
    I despise metrics on principle as a control mechanism of the middle-manager class over the proletariat. I've outlined my distaste for the "p" value before. Especially, considering folks like metamarfcst, who is my hero, runs in the -120 range. But, if they think it annoys us, so be it.

  • neiltheblaze

    Corruption is simply encoded in Republican DNA. They cannot help themselves.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    I don't have a college degree either, but I have two less DUIs than this kid.

    God damn affirmative action… making it so a white man like me can't get a cushy job.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Hmm … a kid who never graduated college, but racks up DUIs and has friends and relatives in high places …

    Well…that tells me everything I need to know about how George W. Bush staffed his administration.

  • Pragmatist2

    40 years ago the REAL Mayor Daley gave the city of Chicago's insurance contract to his son. When there was a public outrage, Daley, with complete sincerity, said "What's happened to America when a father can't throw a little business to his son?"

  • fuflans

    if hollywood made a movie of this guy it would be considered cliched and over the top.

  • Boredw/Gravitas

    Woo hoo! Another Mitchell fan!

    • "Mittens? an action film called Mittens?" oh i could go on forever.

      • Boredw/Gravitas

        "Why would Linda Evans want to do that with Mitchell?"

  • Wuz Brian drinkin' Walker's Black? Obvs wouldn't have been the Red.

  • bringmeanaxe

    I'm pretty sure that was his father's ice cream truck, which doesn't really count as 'experience'.

  • Rotundo_

    This is what happens when you hit rock bottom for candidates. Scooter only won by default since his only opposition was Mark Neumann (imagine an even bigger douche than Scooter, just wrap your head around that for a while), and the fact that nobody in the sorta paying atttention crowd showed up to vote for the right guy. Wait for the next round in 2012 folks, stupid is going national.

  • Ducksworthy

    I was going to say that paying $121,652 for an $81,500 job was not showing good business sense on the part of the Badger Builders but come to think of, with all those union negotiated state employee benefits, this job is worth way more than a measly $121,652.

  • Ducksworthy

    Oh and DeChancroid be upon him.

  • AJW[redacted]

    Jesus, that reads like the weekly outro to "Soap"!

  • you zombie-lovers out there might enjoy this article: http://www.thedailypage.com/daily/article.php?art… the zombies came out to protest! "I ate Scott Walker's brain and I'm still hungry!"

    • finallyhappy

      hey, I made a joke like that about Sarah Palin during our Zombie walk in 2008!- and it wasn't my own idea then

  • MadBrahms

    Wait until he starts trying to drill the Northwoods for beer.

  • finallyhappy

    Hey, don't insult that toilet rat!
    Rats are pretty smart- I bet that rat was practicing scuba diving

  • Isyaignert

    Birds of a feather…

  • moar_plz

    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/bfc53cdf8b/rich-

    Sick of not getting ahead in life? Get yourself some rich parents!

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Walker is the scummiest of the scumbags, and his new DUI-collecting "environmental and regulatory" hire fits right in with him. Crawl back under your rocks, you slimy pieces of shit.

  • tessiee

    "What was it that made Brian such an attractive candidate? Was it the lack of a resume, or was it the drunk driving? Did Walker think the environment needed a fun spoiled-brat friend who knows how to party?

    “It doesn’t look like he’s ever had a real job,” Rep. Brett Hulsey (D-Madison) said."

    What do these people think it is, 2004?

  • problemwithcaring

    So? It's not like he's whit trash.

  • unclejeems

    Excellent snark. Just excellent.

  • unclejeems

    I think Walker's going to be badgered right out of office.

    • Warpde

      I'll drink to that.

  • smokefilledroommate

    Apparently, it doesn't get any better than this.

  • ttommyunger

    And this is news, because? Like, we didn't know this stuff goes on from day one to forever on both side of the aisle? The Republicans didn't invent corruption, they just legitimized it. BTW, if that cover shot showed their hands, you'd understand the goofy smiles.

  • Thunderclees

    In Wisconsin, two DUIs is merely proof that you make a habit of drinking at Packers games. Generally, it's a political plus for a candidate.

  • lulzmonger

    FFWD to third DUI for crashing into car in Capitol parking-lot, crippling a child in the back-seat, & the usual "surely noone could have foreseen" press-conference where he's fired (but also quietly given another even better paid desk-warmer gig).

  • schvitzatura

    In the best tradition of 90's Adam Sandler/Chris Farley flicks…DREAM BIG!

  • schvitzatura

    What a frickin' surprise:
    http://www.linkedin.com/pub/brian-deschane/12/7a6

    Profile Not Found
    We’re sorry, but the profile you requested does not exist.

    But where there is search engine page caching, there is a way:
    http://cc.bingj.com/cache.aspx?q=Brian+Deschane&a

  • schvitzatura

    http://www.nowpublic.com/world/brian-deschane-mug

    0.2… Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

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