What kind of “work” does Barry have to do? Shut the fuck up, that’s what kind of work. Say that you’re in, asshole. SAY IT. SAY IT. Does he have to text you a photo of him holding a machete to your cat’s throat? SAY IT.
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{ 54 comments }
At least he's not making me listen to David Burton at gun point.
Yes, and after about oh…two minutes you'll be getting up just so the guard will blow your fucking brains out. Really, all he has to do is say "Hi, I'm David Barton, amemba me? Hyuk, hyuk" and I'll take the execution prize instead, please.
What else is funny is that for being such an "amenable historian" the only schools who invite herr Barton to speak are the ones retarded Christians attend: PCC, Oral Roberts, Liberty, BJU, Regent. Not a single accredited hour to be found amongst them. Of course since each of those schools are tax shelters/glorified barber colleges with buttsexting Jesus, it's sort of apra pous.
Either you're with us or you're against us. Decide 'cause I'm the "Decider"
I'm in the caravan on my way to Maryland
with my man Two-Tecs to take over these projects
I guess this means a guaranteed no-fly zone over the polls in 2012.
It could be worse, it could be Haley Babar sexting us.
Wow…way to flip into disaster mode! That's like someone talking about Natalie Portman sexting them and you helpfully adding, "it could be worse, it could be Haley Barbour sexting us"…no, at that point it's as if the Titanic hit the iceberg, broke apart and was headed to the bottom of the ocean before we as passengers noticed…it's Chernobyl on the rocks…it's just, bad, very bad to invoke that name and sex together….
OMG I got that text message, which then pushed me on the floor, gave me a full nelson, and insisted that I give $25 to the Re-Elect Obama campaign! Owww!
He's gonna make us an offer we can't refuse. (If we don't raise at least $750,000,000 for his campaign, Sarah Palin is his new veep.)
Sold! Where do I send the money?
Cable Guy… oh, um….
Direct TV Guy!
"We've got more work to do"
At McDonald's?
Those anus burgers aren't going to flip themselves!
They just might… I once saw a rump roast far… never mind.
That's funny… someone downfisted this.
Dumb-Ass
What kind of “work” does Barry have to do?
Turning this country into the Islamic Soviets of America is going to take eight years.
"Say that you're in."
Yes Mister Prez. I'm wading in it up to my debt-ridin', retirement-tankin',
god-patRIOT-mockin' ' tuckus.Oh noes! I didn't get my Obama text. This is sadder than when my grandma defriended on teh FaceBook.
How many abortions were required to turn that frown upside down? I'd mention oral sex…but everyone knows that's how lady cures the blues…so it's a non-issue
"More work to do?" Heck, you've still got a backlog from 2008 that you haven't even looked at!
I've been pleased and I've been disappointed by Obama, but the prospect of irritating the birthers and the wingnuts tips the balance in his favor. Four more years!
In fact…I may make up a bumpersticker that says,
"I'm voting for Obama just to make your head explode"
I'd buy one.
I have to get a magnetic one- I am not putting stickers on the Prius(yet)
I'd buy one and pair it with:
"Vote for Obama because he makes John Boehner cry"
and another one I was kicking around:
A picture of Boehner, the crying orange with a caption: "This is what it sounds like when doves cry"….assuming Prince didn't sue my ass…or do something terrible to my ass for it.
More work to do? Don't tell me: more tax breaks for the rich and the MegaCorps, right?
Can the next war be somewhere fun? Can we maybe invade the Bahamas or something this time?
Can we maybe invade the Bahamas or something this time?
But of course, old bean. That's why we sent the Uighurs there in the first place. Pip pip and bomb's away, right.
Please let it be Fiji, please let it be Fiji; god please let it be Fiji.
What? You're not finished being insulted by whiny Republicans yet?
Seriously…either the dude has ears of tin or balls of steel. Maybe both.
Well, HELLO, Sharia Law doesn't get instituted overnight, you know what I'm sayin'?
Hey everybody! Obama's hiring! Line up here.
I keep rooting for Djibouti.
Worst Text from Last Night ever.
To heck with this. I am still waiting on my call from Ms. Thomas.
The guy who had my phone number before I did apparently signed up for this list. I don't actually know how to make the messages stop. Perhaps a gun will help, somehow, in America.
Meh the guy who had my phone number only had bill collectors. Nothing can stop them from calling, I do have fun pretending I'm him though. Mmyah you'll never get no dough from me see mmyah.
Send some collard greens or GTFO.
I wish I could upfist that, like, a Brazilion times!
Say that you're in:
What? Are we pulling a bank job or something?
This must be hidden code for: next term, instead of giving our money to the banks we'll be taking it back and then some. Wink once if true. Wink and I'm "in."
Saw yesterday that the Republiklans are predicting that the Kenyan Socialist Usurper will be sitting on a war chest of a billion dollars by the time the Republiklans have their convention, with no public funding. And that may keep candidates from running since they cannot hope to match his fundraising efforts.
Which begs the question, if like they claim, all Americans hate the man, where is this billion dollars going to come from?
When he confiscates all the gold before hauling the Teabaggers to his FEMA camps to be executed by death panels.
Don't play with my emotions like that you monster….seriously though, if he does that we can all go back to work helping make it happen. I for one volunteer to liquidate the Koch brothers and Dana Loesch…so I can get me some (more) right wing poon before it's off to Camp Retardo for her, anyway.
Finally, the message we have been waiting for. The uprising begins, and the streets will run red with blood. Let's see Glenn Beck save you now!
I dunno, since they're all fundamentalists maybe they can hide in his belly like Jonah with the whale…at least that's what he told the last group he consumed…
Imagine how the diary of Billy Bob Franks would read:
Day three: Still waitin' in Glenn's Belly soes it can be safe fer me an ma sisterwife to go back to ar trailer. He's so fat we can fit a satellite receiver in here an watch NASCAR…Doris May, ma sisterwife just tells me that Glenn ain't eatin' nothin' since he ate that buffet fer breakfast an hour ago…what's that sound? sounds like a wave comin' in an….UGHHHHH!
I got mine! I felt so special when my cell phone beeped!
You think this is threatening? Paul Ryan is proposing repeal of the Social Security Act (which is where Medicare and Medicaid also reside). I want to see him hoisted on his own teatard.
oh, good, my mom who lived on SocSec is dead and I don't qualify- hahahha- he can't screw me.
In response, Mike Huckabee messaged voters in key Southern states with a text reading only "let's git r done, America"
Who knew being the lesser of two evils was going to take so much effort…
"Say that you're in" sounds so Bonnie & Clydish. Either that, or really sexy.
"Say that you're in" is followed by "how does that feel?" and "too deep?"
Weeeelll…. I haven't felt this enthusiastic about a personal text message since the last time AT&T sent me a text saying I had some free talk hours on their crappy network…
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