Less than three years after delivering a rousing speech at the 2008 Democratic National Convention that prompted glowing reviews from pundits and attention the world over, rising political star “Barack Obama” of Illinois has announced he’s running for president of the United States, becoming the second black chief executive in the race after Republican Herman Cain. While some may balk at Obamma’s lack of experience coming into the race (he has yet to even finish a full term in his current office), it’s hard to argue with the “media moment” the man has created for himself and the momentum and enthusiasm he carries into the race. We’re going to keep an eye on this fellow. If a few things fall his way, Barak Obuma could have a shot at the nomination.
Here’s the campaign launch video that was sent to us (Obaama’s operation somehow already has our e-mail address):
We have to admit, this is pretty presumptuous, all these people referring to the young politician as “President O’Bama” and speaking in the past tense about him being elected president. But showing representative voters from various swing states pledging their support helps the viewer visualize this black man being elected by a majority of the country, even if that seems a bit far-fetched at first.
The campaign also launches with a gimmick: In the e-mail, Ebama says this will be his “final campaign” in politics. If elected, would he be able to stick to his pledge to only serve one term? It’s hard to say, but it’s an interesting strategy that will definitely attract some attention.
It’s still too early in the race to assess Obbamu’s chances. He’s spent scant time in Iowa and New Hampshire in recent months, which may have led some to believe he wouldn’t jump in the race, and will mean he has his work cut out for him in the early primary states. While on paper other candidates, such as Tim Pawlenty, have much more experience in elected office, Brock O. Bumma does have charisma, and that may be enough to win over those who don’t quite envision him being president.
And also he’s in charge of our armed forces in three different wars overseas, so there’s that.
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Where's the long form birf certificate?
Every Briar Patch doll comes wit a birff certificate…
Bird Certificate???
Kid sounds promising. What's his middle name?
You owe me a new keyboard.
Too bad President Cain ran on a platform of Hope & Change. I can see this upstart Obama having a shot!
Caine's biggest mistake was the anchovies.
Hope & Change sounds like the Huckabee/Vitter ticket.
Obamma/ Obuma/ Obbamu/ is the new
MuammarMoamar/ MuumuuGadaffi/Quadafi … aaagh, forget it.He'll never beat the Trump/McCain/Palin campaign
How come those 'coloreds' all look alike?
How many fighter jets has he crashed, HENNNNNGH?
According to the recent conservative candidates being incompetent at what you do is a pre-qualifier to becoming president. Oh and WALNUTS once crashed a jet so badly he nearly burned down and sank an aircraft carrier…
I am not sure if "real Americans" are ready for this just yet.
As evidenced by the last two years "Real Americans" are racist, ignorant tools. But I digress.
Thanks for recalling this innocuous-sounding piece of ugly racism! I'm not ready to stop being a bigot!
You're a bigot? Please, handsome man, sit next to me.
We should get a room.
(Not spoiling the mood over here!)
Panama…
Not one of Van Halen's better efforts, in my opinionated opinion
A most disgusting pig faced troll is a foot, looking to suck on someone's cock. Any takers?
If all teabaggers looked like Dana Loesch, I would have been on board. But, alas, no such luck.
Not possessing one, do I get to choose a different cock?
Too bad. If only his resume had some awards, or if he had something published, or a degree for god's sake.
I dunno … I'm more worried about that 3 am phone call.
I think i'll roll with the Non-Crazy black guy!
At least you can be sure he won't get us involved in another Middle East war.
But what about North Africa? Surely he wouldn't bomb Africans!
Can we get some sort of promise that Sara Benincasa will stay on even if Obama isn't re-elected? And by 're-elected' I mean is given a second chance to fulfill his Manchurian-Kenyan conspiracy to bloodfart on America.
If Obama isn't re-elected, Sara can move on to covering President Bachmann in her very special way.
Howdit get dere?: working title.
Fuck bloodfarts, I'm still pissed that he broke his promise to open death panels for teabaggers (the old, the useless and the retarded, 'baggers fit all three categories to a T). Until I start seeing some Fema camps and Glenn Beck and Rush being led off to them….I withhold my support. "Thats not change we can believe in, HENNNGGGHHH"
Is the slogan still Hope or is it just Please, God, Save Us?
This time, it's "Well, We Might."
I'm pretty sure now it's just been downgraded to "Turd Sandwich"
♪God Save the Peace, we mean it maaannn♪
More like "Yes, we can! But, we probably won't."
Dear God, Wonkateers, are we ready for this? Didn't we JUST do this? Sigh. I'll do it again, but only so Huckleberry won't indoctrinate me in to Jeeezusland at gunpoint.
You don't approve of government mandated religious indoctrination? That's going on your permanent record Mister/Missy.
While some may balk at Obamma’s lack of experience coming into the race (he has yet to even finish a full term in his current office),
but that's only a plus for people who like Sarah Palin. Unfortunately, the advanced degrees from well-respected schools would probably be a deal-breaker.
As is the ability to be "nuanced".
You know what word I'm not comfortable with? Nuance. It's not a real word. Like gesture. Gesture's a real word. With gesture you know where you stand. But nuance? I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.
Pretty darn French sounding, too.
PsycWench profile sez: "…By day, an evil psychology teacher…"
As an authority on evil pyschology, her/your insights into Palin, Bachmann, etc are especially valuable. But did she/you study at a "well-respected" evil psychology school?
UNC-Chapel Hill is evil only if you're a Duke or N.C. State fan.
Even after all the bombin', gotta go with Oboma.
He kept us out of Burkina-Faso!
We should start putting these on bumper stickers. Prob'ly make more monies that way than our techie day jobs.
You know what’s a fun nerdy thing to do with easily obtainable data? Compare Olympic medals per nation with national GDP/capita.
And he kept us out of The Greek Bailo.. well, at least we didnt bomb them, too.
L-O-Fuckin'-L
FTW
That will be his new campaign slogan.
Obama looked around, saw that the potential GOP contenders are all either completely insane or droning charisma vacuums, and let out a sigh of relief.
You gotta come up with a good fake name for him if you're writing "Primary Colored." "Adewale Rainbow" or "Moustapha Touchstone" or "Babatunde Vista" or some shit.
I don't like your implication that T-Paw does not have charisma. Not only does he have charisma, TONS of experience, and long form birth certificates all over the damn place, he also has that rugged Rene Auberjonois handsomeness that women LOVE.
Don't forget his "smokin' hot wife".
(Though no one is as smokin' hot as Michelle Obama. Michelle: He's not good enough for you! Mrs Michelle Pixelz. Think about it.)
By that standard, Dennis Kucinich should be president.
I had great charisma once – but that poor character was chopped to bits by goblins.
Well, he looks clean, and you say he's articulate.
I think it's HIllary's turn, though.
This also might be good news for McCain.
This young fella should quit his day job so he can spend all his time golfin' or eating arugula.
S. Palin.
Hey, Mr Dowfister! And the horse you rode in on…..
The dude should really be seeing a psychiatrist.
You'd think s/he would be getting carpal tunnel like symptoms in their index finger.
28 seconds to zero, the troll is frenetic this morning. Does not need moar Starbucks.
With the guy's sick obsessiveness, I'm surprised he hasn't shot up a mall or something yet. He's currently my "most recent visitor", and has always looked at my profile recently enough to be on the list; and I see he's both your and Barb's third most recent (well I guess fourth now after me). And that's the case with all the frequent posters here. The dude is seriously nuts.
See? See? He's getting to us! We're about to crack! Soon, we will all be driven completely mad by his cunning plan!
Sadly, he won't be able to enjoy it by then, because he'll be ripping up the floorboards of his house to silence the beating of his hideous heart.
What nom de troll is he using today?
I take it as a badge of honor that my comments offend Mr. DF. My hope is to motivate angry e-mails to Ken. Also — socialist that I am — to contribute my labor to the common good of attracting page views, which pay Riley's salary.
Let the pandering begin!
O'Bama–must be one of the Black Irish.
I don't know…it's gonna be tough going up against Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel in the primaries!
She1y? Huck? Hairboy? A heretic cultist hedge-fund manager? T-Paw? Hoosier boy?
Barry's gotta be thinking, "Man, I'm goin on cruise control…"
O'Bama is Irish? From Kenya? With a degree from the Harvard Law Review? Who'd a thunk it?
Grew up in Hawaii where his grandfather told him about the Maui Maui Uprising.
Obviously this guy is a racist because he's trying to prevent the other black guy from winning.
He wants to be President? He hasn't resigned from anything important yet!
He quit his Senate seat halfway through. That quitty enough for you?
At least he officially left it instead of pretending to execute his duties while running a last minute hail-mary 24/7 eight week campaign while dragging his kids around as human shields.
I think he's too Urban. He seems nice enough. I wonder if he goes to church?
Did Brock write that book, "The Eight-Minute Liberal"?
Call me crazy but I think that in this day and age people are willing to give this guy a fair chance. Some are already predicting that whit, old people are going to lose their shit over his possible success, but I wouldn't be so sure… The world has changed, I think…
Is there such a thing as whit old people? They like Jay Leno, proving they have no whit at all.
Is Herman Cain BHO's Godfather? Ooooooooooooohhh..shit, it's Monday. Sorry.
Am I the only one to think that this post was one of the most well written on Wonkette in a while?
It was one of the least nasty ones written by Jack in a while.
uh-oh…think the radiation's getting to him?
Please, let them get more inspiring than this.
Yeah, we're sick to death of mustard sandwiches!
I thought Leon Panetta was running our more important wars, not this guy.
Clinton Mulls October Sursprise, Etc
Yeah, so there's going to be an election? You know what really pisses me off? The start button on my dishwasher is broken. Sometimes I have to press it as many as six or seven times to get the dishwasher to turn on.
I took the dishwasher apart with a mind to fix it, because my American exceptionalism gives me confidence that way. But the part that contains the touchpad controls is sealed inside the part that comprises the entire control panel.
Some motherfucker sealed my membrane switches inside a Curved Escutcheon Assembly. There is no way to take it apart. And the motherfucking escutcheon costs $225.
Fuck my life.
Just whack it with a hammer. Hammers fix everything.
Or give it a tax cut.
Tax cuts are the solution to everything!
Especially when combined with sickles.
Drill holes and put in uncle Fester switches they never wear out.
You rang?
Nice!
Repair existing DW: $225 parts + $150 service call
Replace DW: $500
This is the American way. Maybe your old one is biodegradable in, say, 400,000 years. Toss it in the back of your 4×4 and off to the landfill with it!
Touchpads! Don't get me started! My microwave can no longer handle inputs with the numbers 6 or 7, and damned if I can adjust the power level. Strangely enough, the area of the dead zone seems to migrate–for a few weeks I was unable to use the timer function, but then the dead area shifted. [Begins slow descent into Andy Rooney territory.....]
Oh my God. I have the same thing, mine won't take a 0, 6, or 7 so I am always having to nuke things at .99 or 59, it makes me crazy but there is nothing else wrong with it so I am loathe to throw it away.
Good morning, Unethical Progtards! I'm honored to have you as a follower and compulsive downfister. But isn't there something more entertaining you could do with your fist? Fleshbot has recently added "straight" and "gay" tabs so you can go directly to your personal inspiration.
I hope this guy is using some type of automation.
It would be sad if he's spending that sort of time clicking each thumbs down. What a miserable existence.
If it keeps him from doing real harm to someone I'm willing to just take pity on the poor shlub.
I expect a backlash from old, white, fat, ignorant people who will unconvincingly claim that they are against him not just because he's black.
I'm sure those people will be writing letters on a daily basis to the editor of our local paper since that's the way to get your opinion out there
Ok he will get my vote but we need to really hold him to that FEMA death camp promise this time.
Man, oh, man wait until they find out he's half white…boy is this gonna be good!
Considering his lack of follow-through, toadying to Repugs, and sucking up to Wall Street, Barry would be in real trouble if it weren't for the fact that his rivals so far are total nutjobs, charismatically challenged or both.
An icky person named 'microphallus' is following me. I think it is Ann Coulter.
Herman Cain's name is weird.
I heard he was a Muslin.
It's right there on the birf cert, which is why no one has seen it!!1!
I don't know about this guy. We'd be rolling the dice. Where's Hilz and Mr. Edwards?
More cracks in these plans than a 737…
..or a Fukushima reactor.
He's uppity, I know. But if he wins this little election it might help his ability to rise in this wonderful capitalist society. Everybody needs a helping hand and none more than those minority people. With luck and an election win he might even become Middle Class and get a job with that Trump feller. Or at least contend on DWTS.
I hate that fucking troll. I have to use up my precious reading time to go clean up his mess.
I wish there was a ctl A + up fist command
"Smart" is a relative term in GOP politics. He does appear to have opposable thumbs.
Dudley, you were zeroed out there friend. What moran takes offense at the mention of duct tape? Of course the proper spelling in duck tape. But whatever.
Does he have Executive Experience™?
No snark, but look for another easy win, you heard it here first. If I was a betting woman, which I am, and had money, which I don't, I'd be all over him in the wagering.
Obaama
The Sheeep
Relying on warm-fuzzies from previous supporters worked fantastically in '10. It begins with "Why?" Let me know when you get to that point, ktxhbai
It will be Barry's last political campaign? Is he angling for a cameo in The Hangover 4?
You know, that lady in the video is right — President Obama is the only person who is running for the office and already has a job. He should follow in Quitbilly's lead, resign from office, then seek the nomination. Profit!
He's not a terrorist is he?
OK, but he's not truly one of us because his Great-Great-Grand-Daddy didn't come over on the Peculiar Institution Cruise Line. I'm only votin' for a REAL brother!
Yes, I've always loved the "Newt is smart" nonsense…how could anyone who spends his life trying to fabricate history be considered a historian, also? I mean, Newt's "big ideas" follow two basic tracts: A) putting fascism into practice while calling it capitalism and B) trying to retcon the founders of this country as being fundamentalist Christians whom only David Barton can interpret for, apparently.
Also, he was fucking stupid enough to try and claim patriotism made him commit adultery…Clinton for all his faults admitted he just wanted some pussy.
Is this the rope and chains I've been waiting for?
The photo appears to depict a Kappa Alpha Psi hazing ritual in progress.
…and the alternative is…
I love it. They have all the stereotypes, a doubtful-but-trusting white dude, an adorable hispanic family, and a sassy black lady from my homestate. I like Alice.
No, John McCain kind of had that covered last time around.
microphallus
He's currently "Unethical Progtards" and using a cartoon cat image; but can always be recognized by his base handle, "Spanky2b". And he's your most recent visitor too!
Never mind, he just showed up as "following me" as Progtard something or other. I feel dirty now.
For true, microphallus just showed-up on mine with a rousing -108 p, with a linkie to a Pogo blog.
But is the wallpaper in the attic yellow?
Saved you the trouble
I've got 3 trolls following me, seduced by the siren call of "I hate fucking wingnuts" that I use to punctuate my every post. It's okay wingnuts, all are welcome…just do me a favor and sit up straight for the video I'm about to show you….it's good posture, and yes it's in that old shack out back…no, don't worry about the saw sound you hear or the slots in the walls, those are for fresh air, promise.
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