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...And everybody 'got their life back,' the end.

  • Let’s begin with the “funny” news: Transocean awarded its top executives with six figure bonuses, because under their shining leadership the company experienced its “best year in safety performance.” Yes, “safety bonuses” for the executives in charge of the oil rig that exploded and then spilled 200 million gallons of oil into the ocean, killing eleven people, all the baby dolphins and everything else that lives in/near the Gulf. Ha-ha, it’s good to be an executive, and receive bonus-bribes and hookers so that you will never be tempted to cooperate with the authorities — which is very unlikely to begin with, since you have no soul. Anyway! BP has tentative plans to resume drilling in the Gulf, the end. [MSNBC]
  • It could take “several months” before Fukushima stops leaking radioactive sludge. Also: Japan dumped 11,500 tons of radioactive water into the Pacific Ocean. Hooray! [CNN/Business Week]
  • Oh look, microphallus Terry Jones is still burning Muslin books. [Miami Herald]
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