As always with the very special emails to your Wonkette, tonight’s gem offers no particular point of reference. We can assume it’s a generalized response to this or that post about income inequality or the nation’s biggest corporations evading all taxation, but assumptions are never wise when dealing with a teatard on the Hotmail. Are you ready for some random capitalization and rows of furious question marks and a denunciation of state colleges, for some reason?
from: AJW____@hotmail.com
to: ken@wonkette.com, akteenamerica__@yahoo.com
date: Sat, Apr 2, 2011 at 7:37 PM
subject: socialistwhy don’t you just get out of AMerica and save us all the embarrassment of having an x-hippie, pot smoking, more then likely state educated, liberal socialist, HERE… You don’t belong, there is no room for you outside of whatever city you live in, and whatever group of like minded MORONS you run with.
Wonkette, the news outlet you are “editor” for is horrible, do you think that is serving a point??The only people that read your trash are people who are trying to see JUST HOW fucked up the left is, and your followers who ARE just like you and can LEAVE as well. During the next 10 years I predict a situation in that of which many people in this country that are dependent on social programs, have the cord cut(i.e., we cant pay the fat welfare mom on disabilities any more) . This in turn will lead to an obliteration of welfare programs, because we will SEE what type of people are rioting(i.e. YOU, blacks, mexicans, whit trash,40,000,000 americans on DA), and know we are not hurting anyone, of any real consiquence(i.e. they DON’T PRODUCE ANYTHING!!!), AND SHUT IT DOWN, placing more of my hard earned paycheck in my pocket!
Get It?????
Uh, not really. But maybe that’s a “consiquence” of being a “state educated liberal socialist.”
The real question is this: Why did Mr. Angry $35K-a-year Guy copy this to someone with a Yahoo address calling themselves “AKteenamerica”? Is that you, Bristol?
{ 361 comments }
What's the difference? Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief.
The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests—we did. But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system?
And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, AJW, isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?
Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but I for one am not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America.
"AJW" = Dean Vernon Wormer's brother AJ, co-founder of the Tea Klux Klan chapter in Dismal Seepage, Arkansas.
Did we give up and leave when the Japs attacked us on 9/11?
I yield the remainder of my time to Senator Blutarsky.
Cough (bullshit!) Cough
Cough (blowjob) Cough
"Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, AJ."
And of course: "Food Fight!"
See if you can guess what I am now.
A zit on the ass of Capitalism?
Pffft!
I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
Vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.
So, Troubledog is pre-law?
[pre-med]
Meh *shrug* same difference.
Fraternities? Are we talking about the Duke Lacrosse scandal again? Because I thought the point of that was as long as daddy has enough money (and the "female party guest" doesn't), we can get the DA in trouble and get away with it…
subject: socialist
Anser mEI1!
Ken Layne(i.e. YOU, blacks, mexicans, whit trash,40,000,000 americans on DA)you
also too
… oops
He sounds like as if he ready to seek public office in a redstate.
Or possibly already holds public office.
I predict a situation where someone cuts the cord on Whit's Internet connectivity.
He's probably leeching off a neighbor's open wireless connection, so yeah.
Are you kidding? How would he figure that out? He probably had his "smart" cousin hook up his (unsecured) wireless connection and doesn't realize that he's only getting dial-up speeds because the entire trailer park is leeching off of his wireless connection!
Arkansas mobile home parks turn off the generators at 8pm per Arkansas Baptist Law.
Fess up, Ken, you're still a hippie.
And we'll see how anti-social-services this guy is when the state-educated EMTs have to come and unglue his butt from his chair.
No, he's a computer geek, and thus the style of beard. Hippies wear theirs in an entirely different style, with a few birds and bugs peeking out.
No, the beaded computer geek is a breed of Paultard. Witness Slashdot.
In England, they called them "hairies."
Maybe you should explain to him that News Corp has bought Wonkette, and has outsourced the editing to the far East. Then ask him if he would like to speak to your manager, "Scott".
Signed: Whit Trash and Proud.
sponge bob. ur pants are falling down.
no i will not help u pull them back up again, poorthing.
Wha?
in other words: maaw, paaws been fuckin at me again.
I laugh uncontrollably every time I read this. There is no wingnut thought, word, or deed for which would not be improved by yr. comment, kind sir.
MORAN
Yeah, I was suspicious–how could anyone be so stupid?
So, I looked it up.
Turns out, his whole letter was stolen from the episode of Archie Bunker, where his neighbor, a black man called "Mr. Jefferson", gets to move out of his shitty Queens neighborhood and into a "to a deluxe apartment in the sky" on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
Ich bin eine Whit trash.
Koch einspritzen?
Hoveround's new slogan: Fahrvergnügen
Or maybe more appropriately, Fahrfignewton.
You're a meth donut?
I was going to go with "Deep-fried Twinkie," but that works too. Ausgezeichnet!
Ich bin eine Whit Bier.
This warms the Kochles of my heart.
Just another email from no-whit trash.
Word
Whitless?
Inshallah, he had his helmet on whilst typing. I wouldn't want the little guy to hurt himself…too much, anyway. A man takes risks when he gets to a-huntin'-n-a-peckin'.
I guess it's true; the good lord doesn't give with both hands.
The good lord giveth; and the good lord taketh away.
Seems striaght forward, don't it.
The downfist troll speaks!
I was wondering why Layne did not give us their email address.
OT, once upon a time I had the official title of "Minister of Steer Guano Dissemination". Pretty good huh? That was the new title that replaced "Marketing and Public Relations Manager"
Does he mean ex-Hippie, as in former Hippie? I don't think there is such a thing. You know how when you suck one little cock they call you a cocksucker for life? You do, don't you…Same thing, once a Hippie always a Hippie. (As an aside, I CANNOT believe spellcheck just let the word "cocksucker" go but lit up on the word "spellcheck" but whatever, I got to use "cocksucker" an extra couple of times so there is that.) Or does he mean x-Hippie like x-Men about whom I know little except, and you can correct me if I am wrong, they have super-human powers of some sort? So and therefore, is he suggesting that ken@wonkette.com is a hippie with super powers: Able to take down a four-foot bong with a single hit, that sort of thing? Or am I just overthinking this?
Que the fish cheer
You sure say cocksucker a lot. I don't think you need to say cocksucker quite as often as you do. I think you actually *like* saying cocksucker.
Hey AJW – Can't wait to get you in the FEMA re-education camp, Gomer.
He can bunk with Michele Bachmann.
No way are we having co-ed bunking in the re-ed camps folks, the stupids might breed, and we can't have that going on. Unless we neuter them…. That might work then.
Oh oh, his theory is wrong, I am the product of Catholic higher education, both undergraduate and doctoral level. The mistake my schools made was teaching me how to think. Now I am pretty good at spotting bullshit and wow is this guy full of it.
If this illiterate, hateful numbskull earns a paycheck, that paycheck is indeed "hard earned."
"(i.e., we cant pay the fat welfare mom on disabilities any more)"
How about the medicare addicted, social security collecting, hoverround riding, teabagger queens you hang around with Mr. AJW?
That's "worthly" Whit trash to you.
Now Good Day Sir, .. I said Good Day.
I really miss the days when 'Good day to you, sir" meant "Now go fuck yourself."
"pot-smoking" and "state-educated" is redundant.
Yes. If it was a private institution like Harvard, it would be "coke sniffing."
you know AJW most of the wonkettes HAVE left america. and come back.
this means we have passports. do you know what that is?
But if he pays for my ticket, I might be willing to leave again.
…placing more of my hard earned paycheck in my pocket.
To spend on meth? Maybe to get your GED?
first you have to know how to spell GED, no?
Aw, c'mon, he probably has a PhD from Liberty University. Well … maybe a master's degree. If he had a doctorate, he'd no doubt be calling himself Dr. AJW (or Dr. Downfister).
also (and i don't know why i thought this):
AJW are you an ameri-can or ameri-can't
I think he's Ameri-can't stand us.
I prefer to call them Land Grant Universities and I graduated Phi Beta [redacted] Kappa from that school.
Cool. Do you remember the fucking secret handshake? I know it involved curling one or two fingers into your palm, but it's been a long time since 1968. I was a junior, and I don't think I was paying a lot of attention.
You know how sometimes a memory that just won't come clear is kind of like a tooth that you can't quite tell if it's loose or not? This is like that. Actually, I may have been distracted by discovering that Phi Beta Kappa thought (collectively) that it needed a secret handshake. These days, of course, that wouldn't be so surprising.
Keys for all Woketteers, save the downfisting troll(s).
I prefer to call them Cow Colleges and I graduated Soon Enough from that school.
Having mootriculated at one, Illinoise-Ubana, they do a pretty good job at least in the sciences and engineering and cows, too, also. Shit they built the undergrad library underground so as not to cast a shadow on the Morrow corn patch.
Mine is ranked in the Top 50.
If Gomer went to "private" school, he should ask for his money back.
Yes…the douchebag is strong in this one…come, let me feel your hate!
Just another republican going to the dark side of the douche.
When I read stuff like this, I think to myself, "I think I know this guy!" It's like once you know one, you know them all. They have as much variety of thought as they have branches in the family tree. Not many and mostly circular.
But then as I try to count how many versions of this guy I know (check your email for their wingnut chain letter spam), I wonder why I don't know any of these hippie pot-smoking liberal socialists dependent on social programs that they keep talking about. The hippies I know don't give a damn about politics, the political-minded pot-smokers I know are hardcore conservative Christians, and the people on social programs are old conservatives on social security, medicare, and/or VA money. The rest with any political sense are "liberal" by default by virtue of simply realizing the insanity of what qualifies nowadays as mainstream conservatism.
As a New Yorker, I am proud to say that the fine simple-minded folk of South Carolina paid for my college education (undergraduate and graduate). Suckers! You ain't getting any of it back!
Dear The South,
All your literates are belong to us.
The North wins, again!
Well, they might sell some firearms illegally that end up in NYC, so be careful!
You mean they can't tempt you back with all the fine, high-paying jobs they have to offer? I guess they'll just have to hire their creation scientists from somewhere else.
His mom is some old has been John Edwards loving shit for brains. He's shit for brains. And they live on Shit for Brains Road in Travis County, Texas. It's on the bad side of the tracks.
Thank god his daddy voted for Ronald Ray Gun and his child loves Rick Perry. He's a another typical Texas dipshit voter.
South Austin Hippie
The wrong side of the tracks? Westlake?
Rollingwood – and he like's it when they sex the plastic Flamingos.
'His mom is some old has been John Edwards loving shit for brains. "
The politician, or the guy who has that show, Crossing Over?
". they DON’T PRODUCE ANYTHING!!!), AND SHUT IT DOWN,"
AJW does seem to have some issues with the republicans in the House of Misrepresentation.
I'm leaving.
Oddly, he spelled 'embarrassment' and 'dependent' correctly, two of the trickiest words in the whole English language.
Perhaps revealing that this letter comes from the same Indian sweatshops where Americans for Prosperity has its faux misspelled signs made to specification to be carried by fat white people at Tea Party rallies?.
Nah, he didn't even attempt 'desiccate'.
But unable to construct a coherent sentence, viz., "…a situation in that of which many people…."
Behold the power of spellcheck!
Sounds like he has the Sarah Palin version of spellcheck.
Thems squirmishing words!!!
No surprise, really. He is Dependent on his Rascal, and this causes him great Embarrassment.
I'm guessing he's also dependent on his Depends.
Dashiell Hammett pointed out the poorly educated misspell common words but get the tough ones right because they have to look them up.
Stop! Hammett time!
Can't touch this…
Goddammit Trump, I told you not to type your own statements!
He forgot to mention those damn government funded abortions that the gays are getting, and how global warming is a socialist hoax perpetrated by the United Nations.
You can quit worryin' about the climate chang'n. I heard Televangelist Robertson say that something or other was the koo de gras ( his pronunciation ) for that particular hoax. He knows shit like that cuz Jeezeus talks to him in dream land.
You forgot the Rothschild's funding of Opus Dei. I don't know why or for what, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter anyway.
This is obviously a hoax. Any self-respecting Teatard knows it's spelled WONKET.
Dear Asshole,
I will gladly leave and take my hundred fucking thousand dollar private school master's degree with me, and go pay le fisc en france et make zee sweet love weeze zee leetle gurls.
Cordialement,
Tango à manivelles
et moi aussi, pas de deux avec mon stupidite. POORKWA DIT-MWA
It doesn't fit the context, but I can only assume "whit trash" refers to Meg Whitman's horrible, horrible campaign ads.
Wow, these harvard graduates are really slipping in quality.
Business School.
"i.e. they DON’T PRODUCE ANYTHING!!!), AND SHUT IT DOWN, placing more of my hard earned paycheck in my pocket!"
Dear Cletus, I am sorry that your money is "hard earned" Are you available to clean my gutters this weekend? I can't tear myself away from Wonkette and the "like minded MORONS I run with" When the job is done, I will leave you a bologna and ketchup sandwich at the end of the driveway with a ten dollar bill for your troubles. Go ahead, buy some applesauce for you and your family and enjoy! Please, do not ring the doorbell. I will be busy, buying diamonds-by-the-yard and farting through silk.
Love,
Me
silk huh? I usually just stuff my underwear with rose petals picked at dawn by little whit slave chilfdren. I will try switching to silk briefs, perhaps.
Perfect, Barb!
Thanks Tommy! Could you tell that I was drinking or did I hide it well?
No, but now that I know, I highly recommend it.
Myself, I still wear good american tighty whities to keep those sperm counts low, and "the boys" warm so I fart through cotton poly blend like the peasants do. But I do wipe with well worn, but freshly washed US currency. I like the softness and absorbency of a high rag good quality paper on my elitist rectum. Though the septic tank guy isn't really happy about this.
He wishes you would hurry up and switch to using gold coins.
Myself, I really enjoy shitting in the high cotton.
Summertime, and the living is easy…
Win!
(I wish you were my next door neighbor!)
whoa whoa whoa! you clean your gutters in the spring?
I live in the desert and I don't have gutters.
But does he still get the bologna and ketchup sandwich?
Only if I can hire his wife to make it, yes.
Well, the disdain for the "state educated" makes sense, really. After all, we all know that right-wingers are nothing if not laudatory when it comes to those of us who went to private universities and colleges. Not one iota of scorn for the Ivies or anything, no sir.
Nahh, he's angry at those socialism-factories, the Government Schools. When he thinks "private institution," he's prolly thinking Liberty University or Bob Jones. You know, the Kudzu League.
Our new friend "AJW" must have one of those awesome recession-proof occupations, what with his animosity and indifference toward unemployed blacks, mexicans and whit trash. David Koch's pool boy? Phyllis Schlafly's hair stylist?
Pills Limpballs' go to guy.
I think it's the 'educated' part of 'state-educated' he objects to most strenuously.
Yeah, the "Smaller Government" you apparently are into will for sure give you that part of your pay check back… yep, they are not interested in money.
What happened to real Americans? Were they always this docile and eager to receive a cum shot to the face by their betters?
He had me at "pot smoking."
Well, ……… yeah. Also too, I purely love it when somebody calls me a hippie (this doesn't happen that often at 63). I always wanted to be a hippie, but I was always a little too conventional to really deserve the label.
Ya'll made this up, right? Right? Please, say you made it up . . .
Truth is stranger than fiction, y'all.
Kind of only tangentially related, but did anyone hear about that pollster/political scientist who researched the political demographics of Georgia, recently, and found an increasingly likely scenario where Obama (or any Democrat, really) could potentially win Georgia while only getting something like a quarter of the white vote? My how things are a'changin'. If Republicans start losing states like North Carolina, Georgia, and/or Virginia at the national level, consistently, they are over as a national party. They can keep Texas; it won't matter. They'd have to steal away three large Great Lakes states (Illinois, Ohio, and Michigan) just to offset loses like that, and that ain't gonna happen.
Yeah, but no, I have not read/researched that story.
Democrats running in Georgia? Good luck w/that.
I'm still super pissed about Perry getting a 3rd term in Texas; vs Bill White (former mayor of Houston). That state is so FUBAR I (for one) don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Point taken, tho.
Even Texas is getting closer to tipping – if the governor's race had been 2008 instead of 2010 we may have had Gov. White instead of Gov. Perry now. Maybe I'm just being pessimistic but I look at the shenanigans going on in Wisconsin and Michigan and I worry about those states really going whole hog in the other direction.
I don't know why everyone gets so pessimitic about Michigan and Wisconsin. These states vote for Republicans and Democrats for state offices all the time, but the national party is too far too the right for them vote anything other than Democrats at the national level. Obama isn't going to win Michigan by 16 points in 2008, and then not win the state in 2012. That's just not how the power of incumbency works, nor is it how solidly blue states work at the national level.
What they really have to worry about is Indiana and Ohio, which are a lot more fickle at the national level, and always have been. I personally think Indiana was a fluke in 2008, and won't even be competitive, this time, and Ohio's going to be terribly close. Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois, and Minnesota, however, are a lock…like they always are for Democrats since the Reagan Revolution.
And I don't understand Ohio, which used to be a strong labor state. Indiana I can see, since they embrace their KKK heritage.
You assume the white folks will let them vote.
In general, I"ll believe it when I see it.
Yes.
http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individ...
The real problem being that young and minority voters don't turn out for mid-terms and state elections. If you let your state governorship and legislature go Republican, they can pretty much fuck up any reform attempted on a national level.
It doesn't exactly help the cause when Democrats wait until December 2010 to start delivering on campaign promises from 2008.
If I voted for Obama and got Stupak and Nelson instead, I'd be pretty reluctant to vote again too.
Today, we are all fat welfare moms on disabilities.
What are you talking about? We are not all in the tea party today.
Fuck. What can you say? This particular writer seems not to be entirely stupid — almost all of the words are spelled correctly and the grammar is only slightly skewed.
But, one must conclude that he or she has never actually known anyone who received "welfare" or disability payments. Otherwise, he or she would realize how tiny is the percentage of the federal budget that goes to such things, and how inadequate the fucking payments are.
So, this writer appears to fall in the category of "smart enough to understand things, but willfully ignoring the facts". Fuck it.
He probably thinks corporate welfare is okay because they PRODUCE something (i.e. profits). The working poor? Fuck 'em.
"So, this writer appears to fall in the category of 'smart enough to understand things, but willfully ignoring the facts'",
In other words, typical republican voter.
In other words, the people who work for NewsCorp.
I'm not ready to concede that the typical republican voter is smart enough to understand things.
What kind of redneck is this that don't know how to spell "Messicans?"
I am so FUCKING OVER THIS SHIT right now, I don't even know where to start.
Yet, I have a clue.
Must I point out, Intense De-bate, that I keep getting messages so and so is "following me"? Tho I haven't posted here for like, two weeks? I'm lmao, and wondering why, you stupid motherfucking creepy moron(s)?
No offense to those I already know here.
What I have to say ain't nothing compared to what I log in for, which is rolling on the floor laughting out loud at the FUCK YOU c omments directed back at the narrow mindedness I personally witness each and every day in teh media. The night belongs to us, creepy -108 pt new devotee to me. Follow me down, bitch. I'll take you there.
Point being ~ Much as I'd prefer to be all profound and want to enlighten the new(est) troll in the long line of unfamiliars, casually familiars, and family familiars "following" me now?
FUCKING JOKE is on you. Listen, you might learn.
When that happens ~ pardon me, while I burst into flames.
I think it is the same person; just a new secret identity each time. They are obsessing on Our Wonkette over in the Breitbart world, no idea what is up with that.
Wait, are you suggesting this is the table of "cool kids"? If so, score!
I've always wanted to be in with the "cool kids" Weeeee! Lightening Bolt! Lighening Bolt!
I don't get any messages from Intense Debate, and never have. Ever. (well, probably when I signed up). Guess I must have dumb-lucked into it and clicked on the right button?
I just get them when someone replies to one of my witty bon monts (validation!) and when the trodloditic troll who breathlessly follows my every move changes names (more validation!!).
You and me both. Although I try to stay under the radar of the downfist flying monkeys.
Teh troll don't read. Teh troll just downfists. Teh trol don't learn nuffin, nohow, noway. Also.
Even I have an idiot follower. I wish I could be proud but last I looked he/she/it was following 431 people. It's just an ordinary nutbag. Unless he/she/it is saving every awful thing we say and is going to give it to space ALeins who are coming to help the teabaGGers take over earth??????? when I do the question marks thing it just means I fell asleep but only for a damn minute!!!!so watch out BUster.
I think it's a girl.
I just got one of those too. I'm not sure why they bother.
AJW is really proud that he knows how to spell MORON, unlike his half-brother/uncle in the St. Louis Cardinals cap.
Spelling…how the fuck does that work?
Letters go in, letters go out. Never a problem. You can't explain it!
Why, I never did lahk me no punktuashun Nazis, no how.
Probably involves magnets.
And a series of tubes.
In AJW's case, it is a dump truck.
I humbly beg your pardon for the lack of snark but this guy is exactly what I’m on about. I have spent my life in industry crushing my enemies seeing them driven before me and hearing the lamentation of their women. And yes a significant part of it has been spent suckling at the sweet breast of the military industrial complex. My wife however is employed in the social services and the majority of the clients she sees are married couples with jobs that have had some minor disaster that has thrown their financial world into crapper. It occurs to me that the government (state & federal) is not subsidizing them it is paying part of the wage business is refusing to pay. Hence it is subsidizing corporate America.
DId you really spend your career being an asshole?
Yes I did and to some degree do, just a little less evil now.
All the snark..but now 25% less evil! Look for it in your grocer's dairy case.
BTW my colleagues in corporate America find Asshole derogatory and pejorative we prefer soulless douche bags .
The mind is a terrible thing.
And a little learning is a dangerous thing.
Wait, you didn't finish…hey, I see what you did, there.
He spelled moran wrong, he, he.
PS I am not a product of State education, I went to Friends academy next to Vassar College in the 60’s so FU stinky butt poop head.
Have to agree with AJW that as a news outlet, Wonkette is TERRIBLE. There are no stock quotes, no Garfield cartoons, the sports section doesn't offer up literary blowjobs to steroid mutant athletes, and the woman's page has some crazy redhead adoring all the foreigners in the White House instead of ads for cute housecoats at Macy's.
Yeah, but it's got the funny, like the National Lampoon letters section back before PJ went Republican and Doug Kenney and Chris Miller went Hollywood.
Those were the days, to be sure. Michael O'Donaghue, too.
Some interesting where-are-they-nows:
http://www.marksverylarge.com/people/people.html
Why, oh why, oh WHY has Shary Flenniken never published a "Trots & Bonnie" collection of any sort? How hellishly wrong is THAT? (Leaving aside the possibility that in today's less civilized age, anyone selling such a collection would be subject to child pornography charges…oh, did I just answer my own question?).
A heavily edited Trots and Bonnie collection is better than no Trots and Bonnie collection.
She WAS pretty cute.
Oh. My. Thank for reminding me of an easy answer to "why was NatLamp ever funny?" Except, one would have to explain Trots & Bonnie.
Oh,and the duck, also, too.
I feel your pain, Dr. Z, but looking at any ecchi manga from Japan, Trots & Bonnie was definitely pioneer material but tame by comparison, and at most would be sold in a plastic wrapper.
Ugh. My treasured collection of bound Nat Lamps were promptly thrown out by my mom when I left home. Luckily, I married a man who had his own collection. I refuse to part with them until I can get the archive on CD-ROM.
And it needz moar acrostics, like in the Harpers…
Mountains
Of
Retarded
Asshat
Nonsense
And a Wonkette's Index:
Average page views on a Palin post: 4,383,218
Estimated suicides per Ken Layne post: 317
Downfists per comment from Breitbart troll: 1
Average COMMENTS per Palin post: 8,383,218
And, like, 8,000,000 are funny, and the rest are divided into a contemptuous expression of the disgust she evokes or just calling her an Alaskunt. Wonkateers are mining every last nugget of comedy gold from her seemingly endless pit.
I come here strictly for the celebrity coverage, which is the best, no-nonsense coverage in the nation, since it covers only America's most important celebrities and their goings-on (the Palins, etc.), unlike Huffy. I agree, as a news outlet, Wonkette is terrible! And the humor (is it humor?) is nowhere near as funny as Huff-Po's "Comedy" column and it's Emmy award winning "writers."
So many of these folk make assumptions about Liberals. Don't they realize how dangerous that can be? They just don't get it. Personally, I would not be at all reluctant to meet with this dipshit or any of his dipshit friends and let them vent their fury on me; in the street, in the ring or any forum they choose. If they want to go the distance, I'm up for that too; I haven't killed anybody in a long time, but I stay ready.
Amen and amen!
As they say in Appalachia: some folks just need killin.
And all this time I thought that phrase was South Alabama's…
Lock and load boys…
Or, as the say in Missouri: some folk just ask for it, and they shouldn't be denied.
I once had a female coach of a girls' fast pitch softball team scream at me that I was killing her. I calmly retorted, "I haven't killed anybody since I left the Army. Now, get back in the dugout and let's play ball."
Worked like a charm.
The thought may have entered your mind, however.
May have entered? Hahahahahahahahahaha!
In the Thunderdome!! And we get to watch.
You can watch, you can join in, all the same to me.
I suspect AJW mans the cash register or sweeps the parking lot at some business owned by a father-in-law or an uncle. I doubt he's at all entrepreneurial or even imaginative. Probably he had someone like me check his spelling! (All speculation, I know, but based on experience….)
Nah. He works at Best Buy. He just sold me a flash drive last week.
Don't discount the possibility of being the yard man at daddies auto recycling enterprise or "Prep Supervisor" at daddies used or new car dealership. Too dumb to be responsible, too related to throw to the wolves.
And can't understand why daddy won't let him do anything else.
From the "state educated" snobbery, I at first assumed this was a Harvard grad, but looking at the letter more closely, I suspect he's really a Yalie.
No, no, not Bush. The writing's too coherent.
Geez Ken, I thought you were a teacher's kid but here you are nothing but a socialst whit trash.
Let me guess which red state he received his high school equivalency "degree" from. South Carolina? Texas?
On the contrary, it's kind of hard to get a GED without getting involved with a state-funded community college.
Is there a difference? Is there any red state in the upper half of the rankings?
it's possible that he was home-schooled or was educated in our evangelical madrassah system. But most likely he went to public school just like most of us did, the diffference being that Glenn Beck taught him to READ BETWEEN THE LINES and CONNECT THE DOTS, and thus transcend his government-school indoctrination.
Something tells me this guy read the abridged version of Atlas Shrugged.
Perhaps the Classic Comic edition with a hat tip to Trump…Atlas Rugged.
The comic book version–you know, where Atlas shrugged & dropped the world and it went rolling along until the alien (kenyan) Superman flew in and picked it up and smashed it on the ground until the great turtle at the end of the universe and all the king's men put it back together again and the Midgard serpent surrounded it and bit his tail and held on until the end of the world when that Jew Jeebus comes back and kills em all & lets god sort 'em out.
Read?
Cuntservatives don't like the Public University System because they send their kid there with a closed mind and barely enough knowledge find their own genitalia and when they come home they find a free thinker that is an excellent lover.
Worked for me! Even at an Ag school! Ah, the Sixties….
They spend thousands of dollars and the kid comes home knowing how fucked up and stupid his parents are. That's why places like Liberty University and other fundie diploma mills are doing all right these days. You don't learn shit, but you also don't learn shit Dad and Mom don't want you to learn. Their science and history and sociology departments must be amusing, if not gut-busting funny.
# KKKUNTSERVATISM RULEZ!!!
And also because they realize on some level that their ideologies are indefensible to anyone with a shred of knowledge, logic, or ethics.
I would be happy to be an x-hippie. Unfortunately, I was born about 10 years too late to really participate in that social trend, and during my youth people with long hair that smoked pot were called "stoners." We didn't have any political convictions, I guess, except that pot should be legalized, man. Because of the giant leaps forward that have been made in the last 30 years in the field of marijuana cultivation, I can pretty much guarantee that I will never be an x-stoner.
Now me and my loser friends are gonna head out to buy Aerosmith tickets.
Can I get a whit-ness?
I was thinking he should go into the whit-ness protection program.
I think know this person. I think this was the girl that dated Ted Kaczynski in heyday.
I'm white trash now? Hm, funny, what happened to my status as "liberal elitist"? I was enjoying that.
Yeesh, all that time I spent in my public university studying Beethoven sonatas, Chopin ballades, Debussy preludes, and Ravel suites, and now it's all wasted because I'm somehow white trash instead of a music snob.
This sort of reminds me of how these freakos tried to paint leftists as violent murderous thugs after the Loughner shooting instead of our post-60s status as hippy treehugging faggot bleeding heart anti-military anti-gun pussy cowards who should move to France.
Unless you did Schenkerian analysis of the Hammerklavier, yeah, you're pinko white trash like me.
I'm sure this guy's uneducated (and probably abused) wife is home schooling their 6 precious offspring.
Read "Deer Hunting with Jesus." It was written about this guy.
VaWyo: I can't agree with you on that one. "Deer Hunting with Jesus" was a very sympathetic portrait – this is more "What's Wrong with Kansas?"
God damn! That motherfucker needs some state education.
State Senator from Minnesota, I presume?
Governor of Maine?
You state-educated MORONS do not realize that "whit trash" is a a name given to the speaking in tongues following the Holy Ghost's visitation on Whit Sunday (Pentecost for you non-Anglicans). From this we derive the term "talking trash."
Why now, see thar, that's the reason you all main line type socalled Christians is a slidin backards into hell fahr. If you'd just a-went to Bayler er Dallas Babtist, you'd a knowed that all that there tahk bout Whits an Pentecosts and what you call um ain't gonna lead nobody to salvation in Jeesus. Perry for Prezidunt!
Who is DA and why are 40 million Americans on him?
And how do I get a piece of that sweet, sweet action?
yeah, really–40 million Americans on da what? da crack?
No, he means 40 Million Americans are on "DA", like "Duh".
As in, "Like, OMG!!! DA!!! Totally awesome!!!! "
DA, winning!
The people on govt. assistance are already protesting for the tea partiers. they won't be available for the liberal protests.
1.) X-hippies are how Regan got elected. Have you thanked an x-hippie today?
2.) "In that of which" is the new "also, too."
"…why don’t you just get out of AMerica and save us all the embarrassment of having an x-hippie, pot smoking, more then likely state educated, liberal socialist, HERE…"
x-hippie: check
pot smoking: check
"more then (sic) likely state educated: sorry–private undergrad and grad (but I'll make it up)
liberal socialist: check
HERE: check (everyone has to be somewhere)
So I'm four for five. Does that qualify me for your extreme hate list? AJW, you're a wonderful example of a chicken who votes for Col. Sanders, and you are too fucking stupid to realize it. But, hey, it's your life, such as it is.
Dudley, you're in the top 80%!
Are you really an EX-hippie? Or are you still a hippie, my friend?
Ever since I realized that Grace Slick isn't interested in bearing any of my children (or even just fooling around) I sorta put myself in the EX category. But the tie dye stuff isn't too far down in the drawer and that new VW Micro looks pretty good.
You know you’re fucked when defense is your countries biggest export.
And you never actually get to defend your own damn country with it.
It wouldn't really bother me if we just exported the defense part of it; it's the exporting of offense that bugs me.
If you sell a toy how can you bitch when the buyer wants to play with it? Sad part is that much of what we sell is used against the buyers own citizens and then we end up outraged. This is particularly true in the Middle East were regimes are more scared of their populace then their neighbors.
True. Actually my I’ll-formed snark was directed at us invading other countries (offense) rather than helping others defend their countries. I actually turned down a semi-serious offer to be a Merchant of Death many moons ago.
Good on you, I got my BSME more than thirty years ago and I have worked on products that I hoped would never be used. That said I finally got sick of it and changed corporations about ten years ago to one that was less Machiavellian.
(Looks up at face in mirror)
You mean…I am…WHIT?
"…Mr. Angry $35K-a-year Guy…"
If i was making 35k/yr, i'd be in danger of being lulled into complacency.
Is he related to Mr. Angry Blak Guy?
hey, I miss that guy.
What is this, "FU Wonkette Wankers" thingy and why are they following me now?
What is this thing?
It's a one-man anti-wonkette wanker downfist machine. And now you're part of the club too…
DOWNFIST DEEZ NUTZ, TEATARD TROLL
Ken, would you work up a FAQ already?
It's like The Breakkfast Club with no sushi and no cute guys. You can visit it and down fist everything they said on Breitbart. Or you can just go to sleep til they let you go home.
How did FoxNews teleprompter text get into an email?
I believe I speak for many here when I say that Wonkette servers a very important purpose in that it keeps me from blowing my brains out after reading about the insanity that is taking over this country by the likes of the high school drop out that wrote that letter.
Wonkette, thank you for the gift of laughter!
"akteenamerica" sounds a little pervy. Is this person stalking teen beauty pageants?
I still have a hotmail account as my primary email. I didn't want to bother moving to gmail. Does this reflect poorly on me, as a human being?
Well you certainly won't get into any state educational institutions like that.
I'm already a state educated, liberal socialist, so hopefully my choice of free email provider will not lump me in with the letter writer and his ilk.
I mean, hey, at least it's not YAHOO, right? RIGHT?
Oh, just go full retard and get an aol.com account.
It would have a certain retro charm, n'est-ce pas?
Sarah, honey, Idaho U is still considered state funded education.
Maybe this has already been said, but if there are 40,000,000 of us, plus the Messicans, Blacks and Whit Trash, I'm thinkin' we might be the jamority. So let's jam our mority up these nimrodority's asses.
Real number is 5 million DA, still we should get Acorn right on this, oh yeah never mind.
# TEH SILENT JAMORITY
Shouldn't it be Dah Silent Jamority?
"JUST HOW fucked up the left is"
I'm sober, but it's early. I'll see what the Reds do today before I decide how many beers to have with my NyQuil.
"Reds"?!?!?!?! Eleetest! Meth is the crank of choise of Real americuns!
Just whip out the blender and make Nyquiladas. I just served them with brunch.
As we learned in Catechism class, the poor spellers will always be with us.
Hey, you got the same education that I did. I look back with fondness at that process of brainwashing with love.
Finally! Glad to see some brave soul is willing to stand up to America's disabled moms.
Not even Alison Petri has dared to take them on up until now.
Who is AMerica and why won't you get out of her? No means no.
Name & foto = Win the Moment!
Was it just me that had banjo music playing in my head while i was reading this?
Not me. I had some generic, pop-country ballad playing in mine.
40,000,000 americans on DA
40 mil on (with) a duck's ass? Who knew there were so many Elvis impersonators?
many people in this country that are dependent on social programs, e.g. red state residents, we are not hurting anyone, of any real consiquence(i.e. they DON’T PRODUCE ANYTHING!!!)
Fixed.
Dear AJW,
I was going to move to someplace sane like Canada or France but your email pissed me off enough that I have decided to stay and as soon as I figure out where you live I'm moving to your neighborhood which will surely drive down housing prices there.
Sincerely,
MG (hippie)
Actually you moving into his neighborhood would increase property values and mean IQ there.
I care not one whit for this scalawag.
AWD? Hmm, what could that stand for?
All Wheel Drive? Average Wonkette Devotee?
Ass wipe dipshit?
Average White Douchebags
ASS WAD DICKHOLE?
No, sillies. It's his initials:
Alejandro Whit Davis, Jr.
Asshole Whit, Donchaknow?
My favorite X-Hippies are Storm and Cyclops. They're groovy.
Don't forget about SpongeFreewheelin'Franklin Squarepants and his sidekick Squidward "Fat Freddy" Tentacles.
They know where to score the Acapulco Gold….
"Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope."–The Fabulous Furry &c.
And, um, TRY not to get burned.
And home schooling proves itself.
Has the US lost its whits?
Come on you fucker, hate on the English as well.
hahhahhahhhahhahhahhahhahahhahahahhahahhahhahhahhahahha
That is all.
What an excellent avatar! I wasn't aware of the pull my finger thing as a kid, so became a fan later in life and when MrLimeylizzie does that to me I am weak with laughter , like a 5 year old.
Homemade.
Feel free to steal it…
T.
Only one misspelled word.
A few spacing errors some punctuation problems.
Reading level 12th grade!
Reading ease 53%
I AM impressed.
What should we give him for his next assignment?
Reading level 12th grade!
Qualifies for an honorary PhD at Bob Jones U….
I am a tough grader when it comes to essays written for public consumption:
AMerica
x-hippie
"you are editor for…"
[will] have the cord cut
cord cut(i.e…
cant
rioting(i.e…
mexicans
whit
trash,40,000,000
americans
consequence(i.e.
Poor job. Do over. Spacing is abysmal; I thought you learned keyboarding last year. Let me see your rough draft before you hand in your work as I expect better from an 8th grade college preparatory student. Also, study the meaning of the abbreviations i.e., cf., and e.g. You are not using them properly.
Assign another essay, this time his musings on FMerica.
They're evolving!
You know what this means. Obama better start reving up the FEMA Death Camps and unleashing the Obamacare Death Panels.
Downfister has dropped by for some magic, Upfists for all from yers trooly, the most unruly.
And back at you
Huzzah!
White Trash? Can he see me through that lil peephole thingy on my puter???
Also, Layne, what happened to that really cool sex robot you had? Why isn't he reading the letters to the editor?
I miss Wonkbot THX-1138, there was something soothing about that electronically generated Stephen Hawking/Swedish lilt that made the crazy stuff seem more fun. Probably in the top ten cute bots (right up there with R2-D2 and Huey, Dewey and Louis from Silent Running). Bring Back The BOT Ken!
BRING BACK THE BOT!!!!!
wait, did someone say something about 35k a year job?
I'll take one of those please.
Hold the hate also.
Well, we may be trash, but we have wit!
I just finished my new t-shirt:
I'M WHIT STUPID
I love America. I hate liberals, blacks, mexicans, women, disabled people, pot smokers, hippies, ex-hippies, socialists, fat people, white trash, and everybody who went to a public school, though. But the 57 *other* Americans are A-O-K with me.
"why don’t you just get out of AMerica … You don’t belong, there is no room for you outside of whatever city you live in, and whatever group of like minded MORONS you run with."
Awhile back, I had a live-in boyfriend say something similar. After considering his argument for a good ten seconds, I exhaled a lungful of pot smoke in his general direction, and said, if memory serves correctly, "Fuck it, man, it's my house. I'm not going anywhere".
I see no reason why this should not also be my response to Angry Guy.
Someone cover this fellow in poop and maggots STAT!
…and this would be different from his present circumstance HOW?
"i.e., we cant pay the fat welfare mom on disabilities any more)… we will SEE what type of people are rioting and know we are not hurting anyone, of any real consiquence(i.e. they DON’T PRODUCE ANYTHING!!!), AND SHUT IT DOWN, placing more of my hard earned paycheck in my pocket!"
So he doesn't like the teabaggers and their medicaid scooters either? Why exactly is he so mad at Wonkette?
Okay. There've been like 1,000 comments on 4 posts this weekend, and I don't have time to sort through them all, so I'm sorry if someone mentioned this already. But today is the 43rd anniversary of the assasination of MLK. Shouldn't we be liveblogging that or something?
Charles Osgood did a nice piece this morning on the guilt/innocence of James Earl Ray, with some good background reporting on the labor struggle/civil rights connection. It's worth watching, if only for the cool retro shots of Memphis.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/04/03/sunday/...
EDIT: sorry, html fail.
"I predict a situation in that of which" that guy can blow me.
Pretty sure I saw this guy at a Walmart on Route 40 in Maryland. I am afraid when I stop there for the bathroom going between DC and Philadelphia- I drive a Prius, I weigh about 130,have all my teeth and don't have that inbred white trash look .
YOUR MOWTH SOWNDS PURTY
Does anyone else ever read these letters and say "Anna Marie Cox wrote that."?
No mention of pandas, so no.
Last night, AJW or his ilk apparently decided to torch the transmitters for Little Rock's NPR station. Just to be sure they got good 'n melty, the crafty ne'er-do-wells put a new padlock on the door after they lit things up. And by ne'er-do-wells I mean vicious terrorist felons.
http://www.arktimes.com/ArkansasBlog/archives/201...
Thanks for posting that. Really sad. Silence the media that doesn't parrot their line. If that isn't terrorism I guess I don't know the definition of the word. The NY Times ran an article this morning (I haven't reached my magic 20 yet) on an Iowa conference of the political leaders of the Right and the clergy of churches that support them. We seem to be developing an official US branch of the Taliban although this US version may be a headgear-optional bunch.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/03/us/politics/03p...
Strictly speaking (and assuming that the transmitter site is unstaffed), this only makes them felonious vandals, not terrorists, since they didn't endanger human life (which is where the terror comes from, yes?).
You know, like the folks that assassinate car lots full of SUVs, or the Weather Underground.
Oh,wait.
Sorry to hear that.
"Tig-o-bitties" as we call 'em.
This is where someone points out that the Internet is the direct result of a government funded research project, and suggests AJW, AKA Queen of the Hypocrites, get the hell off of it altogether if he wants to claim any validity to his arguments.
Why is AssJackWipe calling Ken a hippie? The last hippies were seen on a beach in 1985.
I know, I saw it on Tunnel Vision.
Those damn Cornell A + S students are always dumping on the Ag School.
Mediocre teatard rant about how social services are picking the pockets of hard-workin' Ammuricans / commie liberals should all go back to Massachusetts. Partial credit for fair to middlin' spelling/grammar. Heard it before, often done better. Needs more use of the word "cocksucker". C-plus at best.
I just have to say, between Wonkett's hate mail and Daily Kos' hate mail, the former's more amusing than the latter, which is just dark and creepy.
he spelled moran wrong.
"why don’t you just get out of AMerica" –what about FMerica?
"Wonkette, the news outlet you are 'editor' for is horrible" –so bad it's good?
"The only people that read your trash are people who are trying to see JUST HOW fucked up the left is, and your followers who ARE just like you and can LEAVE as well."
–niche market.
"During the next 10 years I predict a situation in that of which many people in this country that are dependent on social programs, have the cord cut…"
–ladies and gentleman, the Amazing Karnak.
"i.e. they DON’T PRODUCE ANYTHING!!!" –Atlas actually supported Uranus, not the Earth.
"AND SHUT IT DOWN…" –shut it, shut it down. Public Enemy fan?
"Get It?????" –PROFIT.
If the Blacks, the Mexicans, the White trash, were eliminated from the USA, who would do the actual work? I can't imagine this guy sweeping a floor, let alone castrating a hog or changing a tire.
"why don’t you just get out of AMerica … You don’t belong"
Actually, I *have* gotten out and improved my life in the process. I am a man with a few talents, and could have done useful things for the USA. Now, I contribute to post-Communist China, including urging my students "don't immigrate to the USA; they don't want you."
With 40 million on DA, about 40 million blacks, another 30 million or so Mexican and lord knows how many whit trash, I'd say we've got us a majority.
And according census data it is merely a matter of time . . . .
This guy is just grumpy because his wife forgot to get all 3-ketchups and cakes we like.
Dear AJW,
I'm one of those "blacks" you hate so much and I have no intention of going anywhere. If you don't like it, feel free to dig up your ancestors and kick their ass because they're the ones who brought my people here shackled in the bottom of a slave ship. Sorry but this is one gift you can't return. Now get back to work before I have you whipped.
Kind of gives new meaning to "you break it, you buy it" huh?
Hey, AJW: How many times, exactly, were you dropped on your head?
And please consult with someone who can spell, write and construct coherent sentences and paragraphs before you send notes to political web sites.
The truth is, your dumb note just re-inforced the accurate view that far-right, overly-conservative wingnut teabaggers are brain-poisoned, idiotic, moronic, ranting, raving and rambling psycho nimrods.
This writer is an obvious TeaBagger Plant.
By "plant" I do not mean an agent provocateur – I mean a small, leafy-green stalk with roots in the ground that goes nowhere and begs for water.
That letter doesn't make a whit of sense…
I hate to be the one that always asks this, but is that asshole going to happily collect his social security and medicaid (and Hoveround), all while not be a "soshulist"? Yea, he probably can't wait till the sweet teat of Socialism is shoved in his pie hole.
This email reads exactly like some of the letters I read where ordinary Germans would justify fascism…"it's not me, it's them who are affected" you twisted, fat, inbred and selfish little fascist…seriously, why don't you climb off of your sister long enough to analyze your own words. "We're not hurting anyone of consequence"….god I fucking hate wingnuts, they can't even keep their stupid, bullshit attacks straight. We're the ones who wanted "Death Panels" so we could kill your old white grandmother and lil' Trigger, remember?
You know what, I think I just understood the imaginary death panel thing and how it differs from the general selfish misanthopy of the right…these little authoritarian fascists aren't opposed to watching people starve to death so they can have a little extra money to buy beer and roofies to rape the boy next door with…they just don't want the death panels to be fair i.e. affect their families or any of the "great men" they Koch-worship…now I think I've got it…and I think this just makes you assholes more in need of Death Panels, also.
The author of 'The Battle Hymn of Sarah Palin' had a few additional things to get off his chest, which were simply too weighty to be constrained by the rhyming couplet form.
I COULDN'T make OUT what he was SAYING amidst ALL the SHOUTING..!
Yes. This is because of how much we discriminate, you know, against bigots.
"her seemingly endless pit. "
Please don't let that be a double entendre…
Where d'ya think all those spawn came from? She's gotta store an egg clutch somewhere.
Well I can’t really claim any great degree of virtue; I was getting ready to start graduate school and having way too much fun to consider actually working for a living.
"an easy answer to "why was NatLamp ever funny?""
Bernie X, the NYC cabdriver
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