'some of my best friends ...'

MN State Senator: Integration ‘Ruined’ Minneapolis But He Still Likes Blacks


Let’s just do the direct quote thing: “The system is broke. My best friends are minority. They think integration is foolish. It’s a ploy. It’s to get more money.” Minnesota state senator Dan Hall, R-Burnsville. He says he graduated with a sixth-grade reading level, so god only knows how much worse it would be if he went to school with negroes! Whut?

And why is this red-faced white snausage delivering this sputtering idiocy about the black people who ruined everything for the white people? Because Minnesota’s state senate is apparently doing away with school integration programs. The coloreds never wanted all this fuss, no how, anyway! Dey jes’ happy bein’ alife, wid freedom. [Minnesota Independent via MJ Tumblr]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • DownFist Troll

    Edit: How 'bout

    Rep Hall: I oppose equal opportunity schooling, because a fair shot is un-American dammit. also

  • pukebot

    well some of my best friends are toothless, racist, retarded, baby fucking morons. so there.

    • user-of-owls

      Introduce me?

    • finallyhappy

      Well, that is pretty much the resume
      of Republican state legislators

    • Beetagger

      Sounds like the fuck bucket who is now following me on Wonkette.

    • gullywompr

      You had me at toothless.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Dad?

    • ChuckieJesus

      Some of my family are redneck troglodytes, too. Which is funny, because the other side of my family are pretty ghetto. Which is not to say all black people are ghetto, just that some of my family are. Welcome to America in the 21st century: We're related to each other now, but still manage to hate each other nonetheless.

  • comrad_darkness

    Wait, if he has a sixth-grade reading level, how did he get to state senator? Oh, he's a Republican. Well, then overqualified as hell. I'm surprised the Tea Party tolerates this bastard elitist.

    • [redacted]hse

      My thoughts exactly. "Sixth grade? Fucking show-off."

  • MadBrahms

    "Oh, no, you misheard me. I'm not saying I'm friends with *negras*. Just other maladjusted crypto-racists the majority of society rejects. THAT kind of minority."

  • comrad_darkness

    This also confirms that my ongoing plan to spend the entirety of my travel budget on high quality booze is the right choice.

    • Breitbart twink

      I've been drinking diluted beer since lunch today. Diluted with whiskey.

      • comrad_darkness

        Damn. I may have to try that. With a rum and coffee chaser.

  • memzilla

    Needs moar nooses.

  • Frost/Nixon/Robocop

    Seriously, the R at the end of their name should just stand for Racist. That will stop Lincoln from spinning in his grave.

    • metamarcisf

      The R at the end of their name stands for Knucklehead.

    • Steverino247

      Lincoln spinning in his grave has to be an alternative energy source these days.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Apparently, in his school district, they didn't cover civics until 7th grade. Way to go, Michigan. This could've been helped if they only had the "No Racist Douchebags Left Behind" school standards back in his day.

    • Breitbart twink

      Whoa, whoa, he's a product of Minnesota schools, not Michigan. Just to be clear racists in MI are home-schooled.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Heh, I blame my grad-student reading level.

      • LibrulEleet

        There's a "Little Brown Jug" joke in here somewhere….

      • Terry

        Racists in MI use code. Instead of saying that they don't like black people, they just say they don't like Detroit.

        • emmelemm

          I don't think you even need a sixth grade education to crack that code.

  • BZ1

    What a model for the failure of the Minneapolis school system, and the effrontery of those who use power as a bludgeon.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    ♪♫ The teatown racists sing dis song
    Doo dah, doo dah,
    Integration is just so wrong
    Oh, de teatards' dazed ♫♪

    • user-of-owls

      The judge from Execrableonia: 9.8

    • not that Dewey

      Hey! I hired you fellas to get some tracks laid; not to dance around like a buncha Kansas City faggots!

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Damn near lost a four-hunnert-dollar handcart!

        • not that Dewey

          Ah, shit. Quicksand. Gall-dang, now we are in trouble.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            Now, come on, boys! Where's your spirit? I don't hear no singin'. When you was slaves, you sang like birds. Now come on, how 'bout a good ol' n****r work song?

          • not that Dewey

            ♫ I get no kick from champagne. Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all… ♫

          • neiltheblaze

            "De Camptown Laydays….?"

          • ChessieNefercat

            And I'm guessing what riles the types like the gentleman from Minnesota the most is the fear that Lily Von Shtupp wasn't kidding when she said "It's twue, it's twue!

          • neiltheblaze

            It IS twue – an he's thweatened!

          • ChessieNefercat

            I just watched the 30th anniversary edition of Blazing Saddles. I had never really watched it all the way through and didn't realize how funny it was. I remember my sons loving the bean scene, but my daughter recalls watching it when she was about four, and wants to know what I was thinking (that it would keep them quiet for a couple of hours replaying the fart scene endlessly?).

  • EdFlintstone

    Wow, I'm not sure even Palin or Bachmann could clear that stupid bar. I think we have a new up and comer in the tea party.

    • zhubajie

      You know they're thinking along those lines, though.

      • OhNoGuy

        Don't say "up" and "comer" about this guy. I'm almost out of eye bleach.

  • Barbara_i

    He's got 8 kids? He must have 4 sets of twins. I can't believe this guy got laid 8 times.

    • [redacted]hse

      Odd, though, how the children have that red hair, unlike any of their relatives.

      • Steverino247

        Viking raid!

    • philpjfry

      He never said they were his

    • zhubajie

      Maybe he used to sell at the sperm bank, like Bevis and Butthead!

    • OhNoGuy

      Sister?

    • not that Dewey

      Some of them might not be kids.

    • greenloner

      or three sets of triplets and one down syndrome single

  • SayItWithWookies

    Burton says his rule is to "treat everyone with respect, right down the line." And so he respects his white friends' right to live in white neighborhoods, and his black friends' right to be shunted into substandard rental units in crappy school districts. I'm sure he's mystified about why minorities want to live in crappy neighborhoods, but he respects them too much to question it.

    • comrad_darkness

      As always, you are a cut above, sir/madame.

  • metamarcisf

    Did you mean to write the headline as: "Integration ruined Minneapolis but he still likes blacks." Oh, I get it. April Fool.

    • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

      Haha, april fool on my MIND.

    • Terry

      Might be Twelve Months Fool

  • not that Dewey

    Apparently his reading comprehension has deteriorated further since graduation.

    • OhNoGuy

      6th grade reading, 6th grade talking.
      If it's gonna be like this, I ain't gettin' no hearing aid.

      What? WHAT??

  • harry_palmer

    Yet he proves that integration made Minneapolis a better place by admitting it got him to leave.

  • Gopherit

    Um, Rep. Hall? One thing to note. Schools don't magically put information in your head. You have to actually do some work and…well, you know, learn. If you graduated with a 6th Grade reading level, that says way more about your effort than how good your school was. The browns didn't keep you from learning. Also, it's possible you are just really stupid. Someone has to dig the ditches…..and serve in state legislatures.

  • user-of-owls

    My best friends are [a] minority.

    Oh, would that it were true.

    • philpjfry

      Yeah a minority of one, his right hand.

    • zhubajie

      Have any of them come forward to confirm?

  • http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=351473119155 Fred_Wertham_Jr

    Hooooeeee! All them poisons that have been lurkin' in the mud are a-hatchin' out.

    • neiltheblaze

      Extra points for that "I, Claudius" meets Faulkner moment.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Integration AND segregation ruined the neighborhoods?
    Huh?

    • OhNoGuy

      I think it's kind of a Buddhist yin and yang thing. He could explain it better over a couple pints of Everclear. At breakfast.

    • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

      One of these words doesn't mean what he thinks it does. Probably both.

    • Negropolis

      He's a Republican. They don't have to make sense. In fact, it's a Republican bylaw.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      The cognitive dissonance in that 2-minute speech made my fillings buzz.

  • a_pink_poodle

    Aw man am I going to have to drink out of the Colored fountain now? Plus I'm half Asian and half White, do I get to go through the Whites entrance like on my birthday and public holidays and hoof it to the backdoor on the other days?

    • Crank_Tango

      if you're a girl person I will hoof it to your back door for you. wait, what were we talking about?

      • a_pink_poodle

        Sorry I'm not a girl person but I'm still open to your offeerrrrr! <3

        Hehe no but seriously you keep the hell away from my backdoor.

        • Crank_Tango

          hahhaha OK. some of my best friends are not girl persons.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I don't know the answer to the door question, but call me, hapa boy.

  • user-of-owls

    Yer harshing my buzz.

  • philpjfry

    OK I watched while he looked at his notes to see where he went to school, twice. I couldn't get beyond the point where he says "They ruined our schools with sgeregation and integration." Aren't they two mutualy exclusive things? And what is wrong with the states up there? Are the great lakes that polluted? There is just a mass of stupid in that part of the country. Why?

    • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

      Yeah, same here. This guy melted my brain so much with his "segregation is integration" thing that I actually typed "Segregation" instead of "Integration" in the headline. SAME THING RIGHT?

      • TanzbodenKoenig

        The cognitive dissonance is reaching critical, brain melting levels. I can actually feel myself developing a craving for corn syrup and a distaste for walking and critical thought the more I watch videos like this and surf Breitbart

        • DemmeFatale

          Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

    • kissawookiee

      He knew it was one of those -ashun words and was pretty sure it wasn't congregation, since that's Jesusy, so he was just flinging the other two he could think of against the wall in the hope that one would stick.

  • berkeleyfarm

    I got the impression from a friend of mine who lives in Burnsville that what you speak of is pretty easy there.

    Seriously, wtf?

  • nounverb911

    Maybe he married Octomom and just had to do it once.

  • SorosBot

    Let me guess: this guy's State Senate district is part of the US Congressional district that elected Bachmann, isn't it?

    • exmartinette

      It isn't, his congressman is John Kline. Just as conservative but a tad more discreet.

  • 4tehlulz_lite

    So he's complaining about getting what he wants?

    Republicans are the world's worst winners.

    • Callyson

      I initially read that as "Republicans are the world's worst whiners." But your comment is spot – on as is.

    • comrad_darkness

      Winning just makes a Republican more of a victim. Have you been asleep?

  • nounverb911

    Has anyone checked to see if his housekeeper has a green card?

    • comrad_darkness

      He's a Republican . . . check if his housekeeper is a trannie. (Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you.)

  • edgydrifter

    "I don't know why, but when the blacks moved into my neighborhood, crosses just started bursting into flames on their front yards, and bricks started jumping up off the ground and breaking all their windows. It's weird. Now, I have deep respect for those of the black persuasion, but mayhem like that is no good for property values. I think everyone can agree we'd all be better off if those folks stayed in their warrens down by the slaughterhouses and tanneries, as is their native custom."

    –Sen. Dan Hall (R-Bigotsville)

  • harry_palmer

    He's doing his best to make Bachmann look thoughtful and dignified.

    • neiltheblaze

      It's a plot.

  • nounverb911

    "My best friends are minority."
    (They like the Packers.)

    • emmelemm

      Nail on the head.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    Man. These folks are right out in the open without any fear of recrimination. That's scary and at the same time a call to arms.

    • zhubajie

      I'd rather know what my enemies are up to.

    • Swampgas_Man

      CLASS WARFAAAAARE!

  • EdFlintstone

    O.K. now I understand how Bachmann keeps getting elected in Minnesota.

  • Gopherit

    Quiverfull…..even if your belly hangs out to far to see your bow.

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    my best friends are minority

    He does realize, that without integration, those "best friends" of his would still be relegated to second class citizenship and would most likely be shining his shoes instead of shooting the shit with him?

    • Swampgas_Man

      By his definition, that IS a "best friend".

    • ChessieNefercat

      Your point?

  • PsycWench

    Your best friends are minorities? Would those be compassionate Republicans? Literate teabaggers?

    • comptoneffect

      Ha ha, you can't fool me there ain't no such things as compassionate Republicans.

    • harry_palmer

      No – if that's what he meant he would have said "My best friends are (oxy)morons."

    • DustBowlBlues

      Teabaggers who didn't cheat Medicare out of a free scooter?

  • Gold_ManSacks

    LoLZ Minnesotanz are so stupid that the people who brag about having a 6th grade reading level get elected to State Senate. This explains much about Bachmann.

  • dox[acted]

    His best friends are quite in the minority indeed.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Sixth grade education means he rode the all-white short bus to school every day, right?

    • anniegetyerfun

      "The system is broke."

      Reading level isn't the only thing of his that stopped at sixth grade.

  • mavenmaven

    He knows one thing, how to procreate. 8 kids!!!

    • Gopherit

      Well, his wife does. I wonder if this is all because they're a shade browner than he is?

    • comrad_darkness

      These types zero in on a woman who hates herself. Sadly.

  • user-of-owls

    Aw fuck. Didn't even need Layne (yet) for this one. Asscunt Koran Burner follows through on his asscunt pledge, and asscuntedly burns Korans at his ludicrous asscunt 'church' in ludicrous asscunt 'Florida.'

    Consequence? As yet undetermined number of UN personnel murdered by an enraged mob in Afghanistan. More white hot pokers up this asscunt's ass (cunt) in hell.
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-south-asia-129400
    Aw fuck.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Yeah, and they say two were decapitated. I'd wish the same for Pastor Jones, but
      not sure that he'd even notice.

      • genxr

        The funny thing is he's safe in America which protects his freedom to be a tremendous ass, and yet he feels so threatened he carries a gun at all times.

    • gef05

      BBC are running it as the headline, but CNN has it as a minor lead. Any idea if it was ever more important to CNN than domestic auto sales? For fuck's sake.

      • http://wonkette.com Pres[ $ rm -r * ]

        Not surprisingly it is also the lead on the bastion of Middle East sanity, the commie fascist Muslin caliphate loving Al Jazeera.

        This just gives Rev. Asscunt and people like Pammie Geller more ammunition (!) fir their argument that Muslins are evil/must be eradicated…

    • zhubajie

      The straw that broke the camel's back, you may be sure. http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/apr/01/afgha… for more.

  • Hatrabbit

    The stupid. It burns.

  • anniegetyerfun

    They ruined our system with integration and segregation?

    Well, one is rather the opposite of the other, so are you just saying that black people ruined everything by being around?

    • zhubajie

      Probably he's anti-Indian, anti-Asian, as well.

    • SayItWithWookies

      He never said integration and segregation ruined America at the same time. They took turns. He's just saying it's segregation's turn to ruin America again.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Ken, suntan lotion is agin' the law in Burnsville.
    ~

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The Republicans are all against integration, but see who is the first up to the stage with the $5s when the black strippers come out.

    • Gopherit

      I assume you mean male strippers?

  • Callyson

    integration is foolish. It’s a ploy. It’s to get more money
    Er, unless they do some creative accounting up there in Minnesota, don't the schools get funded per student? As in, it makes no difference if you've got a school that is integrated or not, the school gets a set amount of $ per student? Or is that 3/5 rule still in effect?

    • comrad_darkness

      It is for the strict constitutionalists.

  • Boojum_Reborn

    It is the expression of fucktardish pride on his face that is so endearing. It's like he's saying, "Looky Mommy, watch me make a big doody in my pants!"

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    But, really, outside of the Twins and the Vikings, are their people of color in Minnesota?

    • nounverb911

      Only if the various shades of white count.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        He's a lighter shade of pale.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      My 'great nephew' went to school there and he did comment that melanin impairment was a rather chronic condition. Also felt it was way TFC compared to C'Addle.

      • zhubajie

        Especially in the winter.

    • EdFlintstone

      Does Prince count?

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        He brings the funk, so he must.

    • berkeleyfarm

      Not very much in Burnsville, from what I understand!

    • zhubajie

      Lots of Native Americans and refugees from our SE Asian War Games.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      The Timberwolves.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Last time I saw them play…., No.

    • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

      That's a shock to me too. Funny how the biggest racists are in the places where they have the least interaction with the objects of their hate.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    This guy would have had a sixth grade reading level if he had been personally tutored by Maria Montessori and John Dewey.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Even Maria Montessori would have given up on the stupid hateful little snot and belted him upside the head.

      Then, sadly, she would have retreated weeping, realizing that some of the little shits just aren't worth the effort (hint, do they sneak swigs of corn syrup behind their desk lids?).

  • sportshort

    My, my, dey does seem to be popping outa de ignorant bush these days don't dey? I guess dey feels de good ole days is right 'round de cornah, as soon as dey gits rid of dat ebony prez and evahbody keeps they guvvamint hands off they damn medeecar.

  • bflrtsplk

    The Republicans should just change their names to the Stupids and be done with it. Everyone will understand.

    • zhubajie

      Relatively intelligent Reps who are mostly interested in small business, balanced budgets, have been forced out for the most part. I know any number of refugees, mournign the days when the party was for rational people and the nuts just went to church, didn't vote.

    • not that Dewey

      Let me test your theory:

      Steve Pearce (Stupid-NM)

      I think I like it!

      • DahBoner

        Steve Pearce: Just another stupid, fat, bald, Rich White Guy

  • Gopherit

    Man, the downfisties are out in force today. I am shocked…..SHOCKED….that they have nothing better to do on a friday evening. Speaking of which, have a great evening Wonkateers.

    • comrad_darkness

      I have the flu. That's my excuse.

    • PublicLuxury

      Thank you. You have a good evening too. Did you go to colored school?

    • not that Dewey

      You, too. Na zdrovia.

      I am testing my hypothesis that Irish Whiskey ==> fun reading Wonkette comments. So far, it's working.

    • El Pinche

      Spending hours painstakingly clicking every single thumbs down keeps them from hyper eating or masturbating to victoria jackson. I think Wonkette serves humanity.

      • ChessieNefercat

        I'd rather the jackasses go ahead and fap off to videos of Victoria Jackson and Sarah Palin going at it and leave us alone.

        It would better serve humanity if they fapped themselves right into heart attacks. Or ate their way to one, either way works for me. Stupid fat bastards.

        • El Pinche

          Here's to congestive heart failure! *klink*

  • Crank_Tango

    Hey, I'm not racist–some of my best friends ruined Minneapolis.

  • neiltheblaze

    I honestly never thought I'd see Birchers become mainstream and acceptable. I'm amazed and appalled. This is what happens when only 40% of the voting population goes to the polls. Fuck these jokers – I want MY country back.

    • XOhioan

      Exactly. I live in Chicago and went to the big Obamapalooza when he was elected. On my way there, I chatted with two young black men who were also on their way to the event. They both admitted that although they were very happy, they hadn't bothered to vote.

  • gef05

    I'm sure he meant:

    “The system is broke. My best friends are majority. They think Republicanism is foolish. It’s a ploy. It’s to get more money.”

  • [redacted]hse

    So can the little bitch spell "Revolution?"

  • owhatever

    I have been in total awe this week as Republican legislators and leaders across this mighty land have stepped forward to outdumb each other and become a Tea Party darling. Is this a great country, or what?

  • Steverino247

    Some of my best friends want tight pussy, loose shoes and a warm place to shit.

  • http://www.marinmaven.com marinmaven

    It is only because we got liberal, elitist, fact-based, metrosexual booklearning that this level of stupidity and bigotry bothers us. It's our fault really. Sigh.

  • zhubajie

    He did promise loose shoes, tight pussy and a warm place to shit! That's almost socialist compared to now.

  • Steverino247

    Needz moar blackface.

  • zhubajie

    Maybe he hasn't forgotten the Sioux Revolt of 1862!

  • Tommmcatt

    This is the basic difference between liberals and conservatives: This man left high-school reading at a 6th grade level, and my parents taught me to read by age 4. At age 6 I was reading Treasure Island.

    In a nutshell, conservatives are teh stupid.

    • berkeleyfarm

      To be completely fair, this daughter-of-Nixon-voters had the same experience. But education was valued in our household, and treated as a Good Thing. It was also something to respect and be proud of in the small-town society we lived in.

      Of course back in those days, it seemed like most conservatives could do math.

      That guy has a bad combination of a serious chip on his shoulder and No Home Training.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oh God, why did he have to be from Minnesota?
    *Hangs head in shame*

    • MutteringLoner

      No kidding. It's turning into a hellscape. Canada City, give me a job!
      St. Senate Majority Leader Koch isn't above putting some extra cash into the budget for her district. No cutting there. http://thecuckingstool.blogspot.com/2011/03/koch-

    • fuflans

      well we have the wit of MG to make up for it.

    • lulzmonger

      You are represented by the slope-browed, finger-sniffing mouthbreathers you have, not the slope-browed, finger-sniffing mouthbreathers you WISH you had.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Big city, northern desegregation is an old, dead, absurd issue, a silly fix for a non-problem. Courts don't need to stop cities from segregating kids anymore because they don't live near each other anyway; shuttling kids to schools an hour's driving distance away is an ass-backwards solution to a non-existent problem and further insults minorities by telling them they must sit next to white kids at all costs if they want to succeed.

    The real problem with education is that most cities' and suburbs' school funding is based on property taxes, and every family with children and resources chooses where to live based on this. Come to Oak Country Maple Brook Hills, we're all rich and the schools are opulent! How would you fix this? Fund schools on a statewide basis and make the funding equal statewide. HAHAHAHAHAHA, suburban Moms and Dads will get right behind this! It is a problem that is never going to be fixed, especially since Republican-controlled local governments are all running as fast as they can away from any responsibility for education.

    • PublicLuxury

      This was an issue on Montana in the early 90's, but for a different reason. Small rural schools sued the Department of Education, in Montana it is called The Office of Public Instruction, to equalize the funding. The schools were soo poor and so far away from each other that combining schools would not solve the problem. They won. The rural schools started to get more State Dollars and began offering more diverse studies. The bigger and wealthier districts raised their levees to keep the funding level current. It was a win/begrduged win

  • comrad_darkness

    There was a headline the other day with census statistics stating that blacks were migrating back to the south. I totally understand this now.

  • CookieGuggleman

    BFFs Michael Steele and Ron Christie agree!

    • Limeylizzie

      Don't put the hideous wall-eyed Christie with my favourite Republican, Michael Steele, Rachel loves him and she admitted it on her show last night.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Now this explains why Tea Party signs are written at, or below, 6th grade level.

    Know who else was/is an illiterate Bigot in office?

    • neiltheblaze

      Haley Barbour?

    • comrad_darkness

      Gosh, I have to pick just one?

    • Crank_Tango

      I dunno, something about comparing Hitler to today's teabaggers somehow seems demeaning to Hitler, and by extension belittles the holocaust, so I am gonng go with….

      St Ronnie?

    • not that Dewey

      Paul LePage?

    • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

      Which Republicans? All of them?

      That answer would get me banned on Gawker.

  • ttommyunger

    OK, Bubba. You just try putting that toothpaste back in the tube and see how many cops it takes to guard you and your fucking shitbox of a house 24/7 just to keep you and your fucktard family reasonably safe and sound. Oh, and BTW, how many of those cops are going to be, you know, black?

    • PublicLuxury

      He lives in the burbs, Tommy. There are no coloreds allowed in the burbs. All the colored policemen, that speak, you know, the colored language, all have to live near Nicollet Mall downtown. That's where 'they' live.

      • ttommyunger

        Won't take a lot to change all that.

  • not that Dewey

    O/T, but the new Following Troll is named "FU Wonkette Wankers". According to its description, it would like to offer us some of its double standards.

    Some info about FU Wonkette Wankers:
    Description: Double standards anyone?
    Reputation: -108
    Follows: 239
    Followed by: 23

    Sure! Where do I sign up?

    • comrad_darkness

      You mean double standards like: the government exists only to help those poor poor corporations but don't you dare touch my medicares!

      • not that Dewey

        Yes — that, or "waaaa liberal media always being mean to conservatives" and then spending 153 hours per day interviewing Newt and Breitbart and Erickson and then prattling on about Barry's "weak poll numbers".

        There's a fine line between "double standard" and "self-fulfilling prophecy".

    • Crank_Tango

      sounds like someone is crying out for attention. and that is just the same old stalker we have had for a while but with a different name, right? Constantly crying out for attention.

      Hey asshole, if you want to get your diaper changed, you have to shit your pants some more.

      • not that Dewey

        Well, the 10:1 following-to-followers ratio would seem to suggest that. And, yes, I'm fairly sure it's the same troll, but I refuse to go look.

        …you have to shit your pants some more

        I'm not certain even that would inspire me.

        • glamourdammerung

          Same clown, same impotent rage.

          • Crank_Tango

            same raging impotence, also.

          • not that Dewey

            Different day.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Who knew that the commenting systems would be such a haven for those worthless asswipes that were temporarily shut down when stalking laws started to appear? Those pesky restraining orders! Now they can stalk people as much as they like with no fear of being arrested. I bet they feel so strong and powerful! Sadly, they are are neither.

      Just the same sorry, worthless losers they have been all their stunted lives. And no matter how much time they spend downfisting Wonkette comments, of all things, they will still be losers. Sadly they're apparently too stupid to grasp this.

      Carry on, downfisting moron! Your clever name changes aren't really fooling anyone, you know. Or do you just forget who you are?

  • PublicLuxury

    Uppity coloreds need to know their place! It ain't in the WHITE House. See what happens when you educate the rabble? They get all uppity and urban.

  • Troubledog

    Most people in MN would say Jim Gaffigan has a nice tan. Good job integrating, guys!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I looked up his bio, he was apparently quite the hockey stud as a youngster. So I'm thinking: jock who coasted through high school, and took a lot of hits to the head. Add that to what I assume to be a natural assholishness, and you get this video.

  • OC_Iodine131 _Serf

    Going into the weekend with this, Ken?

    • Radiotherapy

      and, OC, you're going into the weekend with radioactive isotope moniker?
      Well, it does have an half-life of 8 days.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Well that's a good deal longer than a Surf wave.

  • http://timothysees.blogspot.com/ natl indecency cmdr

    uff da.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      payday brother.

      • http://timothysees.blogspot.com/ natl indecency cmdr

        right on. you may be thrilled to know that recall papers have been filed against the first of the repub 8. they had 60 days. it took them about 30 to get the requisite number (about 15,000) of signatures, plus another 5,000 for good measure. http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/04/01/us-wisc

        there's also this humorous story from wisconsin public radio for april fool's http://wpr.org/news/newsstories.cfm?Message=&amp;…

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          Yeah man i read about the papers being filed last night. This is where it starts.

  • http://www.fifthinternational.org/content/education-programme 4TheTurnstiles

    Herman Cain: watch this guy. He ain't after your pizza, bro, and he don't wanna be your running mate.

    TARD 1 TARD 2 FOR PREZNIT 2012

  • zhubajie

    I don't know about nowadays, but MN used to lead the nation in Native Americans behind bars.

  • not that Dewey

    America is also exceptional at committing genocide and then finding really clever euphemisms to describe it, i.e. "Manifest Destiny", "War on Terror", "PreColumbian", "American Exceptionalism", &c

    • Radiotherapy

      "The peculiar institution," "The Indian Wars," "strategic bombing," enhanced interrogation," "freedom is not free," "liberating oppressed peoples," "No domino shall fall," …..

      • not that Dewey

        Thank you. I was having a wee bit o' Writer's Block (namely, "Jameson's") and I couldn't think of all of them.

      • not that Dewey

        "Detente", "mutually assured destruction", "scorched earth", "disappeared", "humanitarian intervention", "save the world from communism", "proxy-war", "settlements", ….

        • Radiotherapy

          Bushmill's for me, I felt the same way..all of 'em.
          "Remember the Alamo," "friendly fire," "the Espionage Act of 1917," "the Sedition Act of 1918," "the Middle Class Tax Relief Act of 2010." "Uncle Joe,"….
          There's got to be thousands of these maniacal misrepresentations.

          • not that Dewey

            America — FUCK YEAH!

            I will also drink Bushmill's, when available. It's a bit peatier, but whatever. I'm tryin' to get a little Irish in me.

          • zhubajie

            Me too. Sometimes I get a lecture about it's from the North, but what the Hell, spirits have no politics.

          • not that Dewey

            the "The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009", the "Troubled Asset Relief Program", the "Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act ", and "whatever the Breitbart troll has as a talking point at the moment", &c

            The Irish is working.

    • zhubajie

      The biggest execution in US history, 38 men on a single gallows, took place in Mankato, MN: the leaders of the Sioux Revolt of 1862. The remaining eastern Sioux were exiled to South Dakota. I like to remind southerners of this when I get tired of their whining about the Civil War.

  • PublicLuxury

    This 'person' obviously still has the reading level of a middle school-er as demonstrated by his obvious lack of being able to read the directions on a condom box. Just think, Wonketters, this person bred. A lot!

  • JackMioffer

    "Some of my best friends have black friends."

  • fuflans

    racist dude needs better fitting suit.

    • PublicLuxury

      That suit belonged to his late father

  • BarackMyWorld

    Now, I'm not saying Hall is a racist, but isn't it interesting that he doesn't want to be anywhere near black people?

    • PublicLuxury

      I do not think it is interesting at all. I think it is wonderful to have color in the world. I am saddened that MY country is still racist. I thought we were past that phase.

      Now for the snark…
      He doesn't want black people near him because in the rural areas they're hard to track and hunt at night.

  • CessnaDriver

    Minneapolis Roosevelt.

    Jesse Ventura went there! I took auto mechanics there.

    How this putz ended up like this, I will never know.

  • http://timothysees.blogspot.com/ natl indecency cmdr

    you say "segregation" I say "integration" let's call the whole thing off!

  • PublicLuxury

    Too many Lutifisk suppers

  • Radiotherapy

    We can make fun of this wacist's swpeech impediment, wight?

  • mosjef

    It's just one Dan thing after nother.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    According to the 2010 Census, the blacks and the browns are moving to the South, so with what is left up there, Minnesota is becoming the new Texas.
    Worse, Garrison Keillor is retiring.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    I would say Equal Protection Under the Law is an outmoded and overrated concept, except it's never actually been tried…

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    Thank you Wonkette for bringing us "Poop-stew brained State Senator Week" and also thank you for destroying my once strongly held beliefs in democracy. I guess.

    Also, why does this guy hate Prince?

  • DustBowlBlues

    It's clear that Minnesota us trying to out-stoopid OK in the Moran Olympics. I'm going to have to start paying attention to our lege so I can send Ken some really stupid shit.

  • El Pinche

    Good lord. And he wrote this shit down ?!?!

  • Negropolis

    Like this fucker had to illuminate us with the fact that he reads at a 6th grade level. No shit, Sherlock.

    Mr. Hall, your minority friends didn't mean what you think they meant. Folks like this guy are the ones I honestly kind of pity. He is so incredibly earnest in what he believes, and he doesn't seem like a bad guy, just a profoundly dumb man with no interest in expanding his horizons. Poor, stupid fool.

    You're the guy who reads at a 6th grade level, and they're the ones that "destroyed" the district, right? Yo, Hitler; this is the "master race" of which you speak, right? Yeah, ok.

    MN, WTF?

    • Negropolis

      Just had to add that I've seen Keanu Reeves read a script better than this guy.

  • unclejeems

    Why, I ain't no racist. I believes ol Sen. Hall is a dumbfuck, and would stay that way if'n he terned inta one of them there black fellas, or if'n his name wus Meow See Tongue, er if'n he stayed as white as the inside of uh cracker. See to me, Ignerant ain't got no colur.

  • HogeyeGrex

    "That's #1 in my book."

    Yeesh. So he reads at a sixth grade level. At what grade level do you suppose that book of his is written?

  • Limeylizzie

    OK, I am from the whitest town in England, I had not seen a person of colour until I was about 14 , our idea of minorities were the Italians and Greeks that ran all the restaurants on the seafront. However, once I started going to parties in London and discovered that Jamaicans had the best music , and were so much more attractive than all the pale , spotty youths I knew, my whole worldview changed, I integrated myself.

  • http://wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    I'm teaching Warriors Don't Cry, a book about the Little Rock Nine, to my middle school students right now. We're going to talk about the Independent article on Monday just so they understand that the issues that Melba and her friends faced in 1957 didn't just go away.

    I'm sorry. I have no snark for this, especially after showing this clip from Eyes on the Prize yesterday in class.

  • lochnessmonster

    Did he have 8 kids cause he couldn't read the instructions on the condom package?

    • ChessieNefercat

      It was in a package? Oh.

  • notgross

    His teachers were "fabulous" but he only learned to read (and speak in proper grammar) at the 6th grade level? Who's to blame then? Seems like a little of that personal responsibility everyone's talking about might come in handy.

    Also sounds like they didn't teach sex ed in his school, either.

  • http://downwithtyranny.com James_Cambridge

    How do we know that the Republicans haven't been punking us for the last decade? There could be a camera trained on us recording our pissy reactions right now!!!

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Minneapolis??? I thought all the colored folks was on the mean streets of South St. Paul?

  • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

    my best friends are minorities = I'm not racist but…

  • sbs94553

    i hate republicans/teabaggers

  • DahBoner

    My best friends are minority.

    MINORITIES : Some of our best friends are racist crackers.

  • Soylent Green

    A proud product of the Minn. school system, and a 6th-grade reading level all in the same sentence?

  • Lefty_Lucy

    I totally believe he has a sixth-grade reading ability. Unfortunately, he has a Kindergarten reasoning ability.

  • Ducksworthy

    I have to agree with the good senator here. Once upon a time, Minnesota was inhabited almost exclusively by socialist Norwegians, Swedes and Germans. They had a nice little sort of socialist state back when everybody looked like everybody else (except Indians, who were easily expendable). The we started noticing dark complected people and the Godly GOP pointed out to the good yoeman out on the farm that these dark people were to be despised. So we lost the People's Republic of Minnesota to hate and fear. Amen.

  • http://strangestoriesaboutsadpeople.blogspot.com/ Thedongsofwar

    Integration and segregation both ruined his neighborhood. At the same time.