hawk party!

Recent Gaddafi Fan Lindsey Graham Now Wants Him Dead

Hey look, it’s the three bestest friends ever, John McCain, Lindsey Graham, and Joe Lieberman! Who’s that fourth guy they’re with? Are they looking to add a member to this terrific team of winning policy minds? Oh, it’s Muammar Gaddafi. This must have been taken a million years ago, right, considering all of them now want to bomb this man into oblivion? No, it was 2009. How could they do something so evil? Did the evil dictator tempt Graham with ham biscuits (young cock)?

Here’s Graham at the Robert Gates hearing yesterday:

GRAHAM: Is Gadhafi the legitimate leader of the Libyan people in your eyes, legally? And if he’s not, would it be unlawful for a nation including ours to drop a bomb on him, to end this thing?

GATES: Well, President Reagan tried that.

GRAHAM: Well that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try again. I’m asking this in all seriousness. I don’t believe this man is the legitimate leader of the Libyan people. I believe he’s an international terrorist, unlawful enemy combatant, then we’re within our bounds as a nation — and our coalition partners — to take the fight to him and his cadre of supporters. Is that on the table or not?

GATES: I don’t think so because I think it would probably break the coalition.

An international terrorist! The Lockerbie bomber! Killer of Americans! But that happened 20 years ago. Two years ago, Graham was eating ham biscuits on Gaddafi’s couch. Was he a terrorist then? According to a Wikileak, actually, he supported a warming in relations with Gaddafi.

But war is fun and should always be supported. If Lieberman became the leader of a foreign country and Lindsey and John had a chance to bomb him, would they go for it? It would be interesting! [Salon]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  1. metamarcisf

    Lindsey Graham's feelings for Gaddafi are a mirror image of my feelings for Rod Stewart.

      1. DemmeFatale

        At least "Old School Rod" is.
        "White Cliffs of Dover Rod," not so much.

        (And don't even get me started on "Disco Rod.")

          1. DemmeFatale

            Best song by him EVER.

            If the young Rod could see the old Rod with his big band, he would throw up.

          2. LocalGirlMakesGoo

            I just played "find the raspberry" with I Don't Wanna Talk About It playing in the background, so GTFO.

          3. metamarcisf

            Best Rod Stewart song ever: "I've Been Drinking Again", with the Jeff Beck Group, 1968.

  2. DownFist Troll

    Wtf Lindsey!? Bros before Bros yo!

    Stabbing his buddy in the back just to impress that handsome Bobby Gates.

    1. jus_wonderin

      Lindsey studied at the feet of Lorena Bobbit. I will leave the punchline to someone else.

  3. bumfug

    So Lindsay Graham thinks that as long as you're not the legitimate leader of a country it's OK to bomb your ass? Did I read that right?

  4. Lucidamente1

    The translator lady looks like Susan Collins, or did Lindsey bring her along so he wouldn't seem totally gay?

    1. Crank_Tango

      I believe the technical terms you are looking for are
      1) Interpreter
      2) Beard

      and yes.

  5. EdFlintstone

    The only consistent stance important to Lindsey is in a stall at a public restroom.

  6. Gopherit

    Lindsay is just jealous of Gaddafi's Amazonian Guard…..except instead of nubile young women in fatigues carrying AKs , he wants nubile young men wearing speedos and carrying tarps and lube.

  7. Come here a minute

    Graham's pissed because he found out his biscuit was secretly filled with turkey ham by that infidel Mooslim! CREEPING SHARIA!

  8. randcoolcatdaddy

    Poor Lindsey's just become bitter since Gaddafi wears better drag than he does. Bitter queen.

  9. harry_palmer

    Like a weathervane, Lindsey knows which way the wind is blowin'. This helps him know who he wants to be blowin'.

    1. KenLayIsAlive

      Though I've always heard blowing into a vagina could potentially kill a woman, I'm not sure if blowing up someones ass has the same effect – and anyway, it seems a lot easier just to go with a tomahawk missile.

  10. nounverb911

    "Two years ago, Graham was eating ham biscuits on Gaddafi’s couch. Was he a terrorist then?"
    Lindsey? Probably.

    1. DahBoner


      Every Republican is just doing bid'ness with crooks, despots and brutal dick-taters.


  11. CapeClod

    Did Gates suggest that great Ronald Reagan tried something that failed?! How could he utter such blasphemy! Shun him! (Crosses arms and turns around.)

  12. ApplesauceRobot

    Libya reminds me so much of South Carolina this time of year. The crazy, the effeminate leaders, the religious hatred…

  13. Slim_Pickins

    HA! HA! HA!, April Fools on us, Jack. But how did you get O'Keefe to do this video for you?

  14. Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    Well, It looks like somebody is going to get unfriended from MG's Facebook page.

    p.s. Oh, and this is a special sort of idiocy:

    I don't believe this man is the legitimate leader of the Libyan people. I believe he's an international terrorist, unlawful enemy combatant, then we're within our bounds as a nation — and our coalition partners — to take the fight to him and his cadre of supporters.

    Dude, he is the uniformed military commander of the armed forces of a country we are attacking. If he's not a lawful combatant, the term has no meaning.

    1. jqheywood

      What makes it worse is that Ham Biscuits is a JAG officer. He really should know better.

  15. __kth__

    Next Axis-of-Evil torque-center should be taking notes: these Jezedudes are all fondling you one day, next day they wanna busta cap in you.

  16. Radiotherapy

    At 0:04, watch the way JoeMentum shakes hands with the unlawful international terrorist. Is that just gay extra hand over shake or is he passing him cash?

  17. chicken_thief

    Gates has always responded to Congressional questions with such sombre respect – like the idiots asking even have a clue as to what they are talking about. You know he really wanted to tell Lindsey to stfu.

  18. baconzgood

    According to international law he IS the legitimate leader of the Libyan people and the rebels are trying to overthrow him. Just because you say "Nu-uh" doen't make it so shit for brains.

  19. natoslug

    Oh, Lindsey, you catty little girl, you! Just because he no longer welcomes your sweet embrace is no reason to hate him so . . .

  20. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I guess someone found out that Gaddafi has video of their last "meeting" together.

  21. Jukesgrrl

    …which they usually follow with a snack of sour mash and ham biscuits, but not so easy to find in Libya. Hot tea and falafel? Not really the same, although Joementum may like it.

  22. arihaya

    Lindsey need to get laid… someone please volunteer *

    * only receiving male applicants

  23. Troglodeity

    I dunno about bombing Gaddafi, but those armchairs deserve multiple rounds of heavy ordnance.

  24. Walkinwiddaking

    I imagine Gate's was grinding his teeth while this opportunistic piece of shit was asking his questions.

  25. PublicLuxury

    Those fair-weather friends. You always know who your real friends are when your needing help to move or trying to kill a dictator.

  26. PublicLuxury

    Some people are born assholes, some people aspire to be assholes and some people achieve excellence in asshole-ness. These elite few, proud, politicians have earned asshole-ness

  27. Negropolis

    What's that? Lindsey Graham Lohan is a fan of Gabrielle Gaddhafi Giffords?

    Ms. Lindsey: What a cozy dunt.

  28. NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    bldg 7, twin towers, pentagon, shanksville, anthrax
    McCain Lieberman Lindsey
    Israel-first Neocon Trio
    False Flag 9/11

Comments are closed.