WAIT A SECOND, THAT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THEY LIKE HIM VERY MUCH! April Fools’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It made sense when they said “brought Americans together,” because yes, America’s shared hatred of and laughter at the Teabaggers did bring this nation together. But then they made fun of Obama for having a good relationship with Brazil (our long-time ally?) and not meeting with “the decision-makers,” who are apparently an oily pelican and a boat, and that sort of pathetic attack lines could only come from the GOP Web video team. That’s really the best they could come up with? Have they heard about this new war?
It will be hilarious when the Republican Party gets levied a fine for misleading voters by misidentifying themselves as Obama supporters. April Fools’! [YouTube]
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April Fools Day? Please drop that and get behind the new American Tradition! April 1st is Sarah Palin Day!
What's the new tradition? Do we quit something halfway through? Make up a word? Try to keep our name in the headlines? Help me out here.
"All of them, Katie."
"In what regard, Charlie?"
T
I have my Sarah Palin Day tree up. But yes, I have to run home at lunch to take it down.
It is made from Tawd Palin massage parlor wood?
I should have described it.
In honor of the day and its honoree, I pilfered everything for the tree from the poor people down the block. But I I used my old foil for the globes, and my conservative neighbors beer tabs for the garland.
And a fabulous drag queen lifted me to put the golden foot in mouth sculpture at the top.
It has lights but they are turned off as lights on would be anathema for Palin.
It sounds beautiful! And so perfect for the occasion.
Republicans are the athletic supporters of the political world.
Au contraire – Athletic supporters are designed specifically to stay out of your anus.
This is good news for Jo…oh, fuck it, that's not even funny anymore.
We need a new meme. "This is good news for Haley Barbour," maybe?
Is it 2 whoppers for $2 at Burger King?
Free lard-dripping refills with every copy of "Atlas Shrugged"?
How 'bout: "You know who else . . . "? That one hasn't been used.
I think there should be meme limits, sort of like term limits. I would suggest one month, with a possible 2 month extension for really good ones, you betcha.
Also.
Ugh; why can't we dispense with this stupid "holiday"? St. Patrick's Day and Groundhog Day too; just because something's a tradition doesn't mean we have to keep doing it.
Attention, internet April Fool's Day hoaxers: your joke press release is not funny.
You will never get rid of a holiday that gives amatuer drinkers the right to get sodden drunk. Nobody gave a crap about Cinco de Mayo until everyone realized it was a good excuse to drink crappy mexican beer.
Yes, we can! Sure, we didn't last time but this time it is for realz!
I'm upfisting you because it's a relatively good thing to do this weekend. Others should do likewise.
Shhh, I'm hiding from my sister today. Is it okay if I crawl under your desk and stay there all day? Bring crackers and Gummi Bears for me, please.
Is this the teabagger sister? Try going to a library or museum; teabagger types never go to those places.
Yes, it's HER! She said aloud yesterday (in public) "Only Muslims are terrorist" I mentioned Tim McVey and she said, "he didn't use an airplane, so he doesn't count"
I walked over to a homeless man and I took his hand and slipped him $50.00, held his hand for a while and chatted him up. I thought Nancy was going to have a heart attack. She was squirting hand sanitizer all over me for the rest of the day.
I brought bagels.
You have a Teabagger sister? Oh my, well I offer myself as your foul-mouthed Limey sister because I only have a brother.
You are forever my English muffin sister, thanks!
Oh, this is THAT visit, isn't it. Stay strong, or, if that's impossible, drunk.
You like me. You really like me!
Or not.
The producer of that bit wuz able to crawl out of Ken's commode.
April Fools jokes are not even very funny unless you can pull a prank on some old people with limited time left. Now that would be funny.
God Republicans are so dumb; aside from a few corn-syrup swollen olds who are stuck to their chairs with feces and urine, all of those things on that video are EXACTLY why I like Obama, because he's not a brainless Teabaggers stampeding down a street and he's not blowing up oil wells or murdering pelicans.
"…stampeding…"?! Rascals bearing double the max weight they were designed to haul are able to stampede?!
I wasn't sold until the end, when he flew across the sky on that rainbow-farting unicorn.
Now that I've listened to that thing; everything they pointed out makes Obama look good. So he said he'd try to unite America, and is hated by a bunch of racists who hate the fact that there's a black President – how's that supposed be an attack on him? Ooh, he's bought oil from Brazil; well we've got to get it from somewhere still. And snubbing that horrible asshole CEO of BP after the shit they did is negative in what way? Then they attack him for deficit spending in the middle of a recession, which is what you have to do to end the recession; learn some basic economics.
But but the deficit… unh the unh spending.. gaah black guy.. freedoms. acck.
What I can't stand about the "deficit!" shit is how the media treats it as if it's a genuine Republican complaint, when it's obviously bullshit; the GOP created this deficit and first started complaining about in on January 21, 2009.
In general, Democrats try to win the argument based on the principle of the thing, which means sometimes getting the message out is tricky and nuanced and voters don't get it. Republicans just try to win, principles be damned, and they can use simple phrases to get their point across to the masses.
And STILL managed to convince the gullible public and enabling "media" that tax cuts for rich people don't add to the deficit and create jawbs.
Before the collapse of the economy bottomed out.
Why do hate Obama so? Because he's black?
"NO! Because of the soshulims!"
Why are the socialisms so bad?
"BECAUSE OF THE SOSHULIZMS!!!"
Q. What soshulizms?
A. WAKE UP 'MERICUH!!! Git yer head out of the sand and jes look!!!!
DIDN'T WE FIGHT AGAINST THE SOSHULIZT IN WW2?
Actually, we were allies with the Soviet Union against the anti-socialist Nazis…
YOU MEAN THE NATIONAL SOSHULIZT?
Yes, but they weren't really…
COMMIES!
Jeez, you'd think the Republicans had no strategy for 2012. Or something.
Besides redistricting all the purple states to diminish the effect of the huge population of Democratic voters in the major cities?
Like in Nevada, where all 3 districts pierce the heart of librul, soshulist Las Vegas?
But see, this is exactly the GOP strategy. Make a bunch of "funny" puerile attack ads that appeal to their "base" of disaffected unemployed fat fucksticks who either won't notice or will blissfully overlook the fact that said ads make the GOP sound like a bunch of petulant 2-year-olds.
That's why I'm somewhat greatful for the teabaggers; now that the Republican party has been taken over by the crazies, they've been nominating a bunch of full-on lunatics; sadly several of them won Gubernatorial elections in 2010, but it did cost the party quite a few Senate seats; and every single Presidential contender is either batshit insane or pretending to be.
Sure they have a strategy. Simian feces-throwing.
Of course they have a strategy: Treason. We must destroy America in order to save it. They look forward to the day when every American can live in a society as free as that of Somalia and rejoice in not being restrained by rules. Or roads. Or government.
The other true thing Palin said (besides "I am not knowing") was that oil is fungible. Even if we produced enough domestically for our own uses, we'd still import it if that were cheaper, and "American" companies like Exxon-Mobil and Shell and "B"-P would move oil around the world market however it benefits them the most. "Energy independence" is a stupid, pernicious nostalgia for the 50s where we burned off natural gas and drove two-ton cars with gas at $0.35/gallon.
It's NEVER COMING BACK.
And anyway, $0.35 then is like $3.50 now. Nothing much has changed, except you can choose more efficient cars, if you want.
Bring back the Packard! http://bit.ly/eLzn5r Saves lives AND burns cheap gasoline!
I’m kind of partial to the 1947 Desoto, as my folks had one. Push-button automatic transmissions rule!http://www.dacoglu.com/Desoto2002.jpg
I had a '65 or so Renault with that type of tranny-it eventually lost second gear and you had to wind the shit out of it in first then drop it into 3rd–WOO HOOOOO! Great mileage and super-fab comfortable to boot. But fugly as sin.
And V572, so right on—PEAK OIL times people. It's over. We're 40 years late on developing real solutions and running out of time. If only the oil teat happy BushCo had taken 9/11 as an opportunity to jump-start energy alternative solutions, perhaps we would be better prepar—AH HAH AHHAHAHAHA I KILL ME. AS IF.
I'm sure it didn't occur to the Republican authors of this ad, but the rainbow at the end kind of says gay.
This is good news for Lindsey Graham!
*sizzle*
Stand-alone rainbow = gay.
Unicorn-farting rainbow = 8-year-old girl's lunchbox.
If it were '8 year old boy's lunchbox', you'd have the republican mindset in a nutshell.
Of course, you are exactly correct. I would be pleased to handle your nuts as an apology…
Typical wingers. Over reaching 'till the end. Which I hope is even sooner than '12. Recall them all, them assholes.
Strurgeon's Law applies to April Fools crap, and then some. There are a few exceptions–I always look forward to the April Fool's story on All Things Considered, and to the fake products at Think Geek, a few of which end up getting made. My favorite, from a few years back, was the uber-nerdy Tauntaun Sleeping Bag, which started as a joke and then went into production.
[redacted] Zoom: Here in Northern California the NPR station owned by the SF school district always broadcasts a very elaborate school lunch menu on April 1st. I still think it's a swell joke.
Squeez Bacon®, mmmmmmmmm
I coveted that. Then, didn't get laid for a month.
OK, HUGE April Fools win at BoingBoing today!
NASA needs an order of those sea monkeys.
Sugarcoat however you want, a kid throwing a temper tantrum is a kid throwing a temper tantrum.
Spare the rod, spoil the Repooplican. The combination of ignorance and arrogance just starts to grate after awhile.
Press is press and ink is ink.
Just who the Hell can the GNoP put up there to beat Mr. Obama?
Sorry, I think we have enough fools for April, and every other damned month of the year, already.
Lula / Oily Pelican in 2012!
No, seriously, I would vote for them.
Good thing the Republican National Committee is putting out ads in support of their candidates. Who are they again?
Retardlicans are never FOR anyone/thing, they are only AGIN' Obama/libruls.
NOT mentioning them is the best way to support them!
Seconded! Lizzie frosts her hair?
I wish I had a good relationship with some Brazilians. Sexy, sexy Brazilians.
Fools::GOP as Potato::Potahtoe.
Repubicans want to win based on birther mythology and pictures of Obama playing golf. Guess they've given up on "better ideas".
Hey, they still have St Ronnie's mantra of "lower corporate taxes". Just add in God, no queerz and/or illegulz, and STOP KILLIN BABIES as needed. Why deviate from a plan that has worked for 40 yrs or so?!
Aww. Thanks,. I have seen photos of Rachel's GF and she has enormous bosoms , also. and don't tell any of the other Wonkettes but I was in a show a couple of years ago and I had to wear nipple tassles and learn how to twirl them, so I spent 3 weeks studying at the School of Burlesque.
That is SO cool! I love Burlesque. If Ditta Von Teese ever has a garage sale…..
This is especially true of Elizabeth Redacted who as Romane, the costume mistress, who was formally ‘Miss Naughty Nipples’, comes out swinging her pasties-covered breasts. I swear if Black Eyed Susan weren’t still alive, Redacted would be her reincarnation.
My favourite review of all time!
When I was a kid there was a popular photograph, "Jesus chasing the moneychangers from the temple." It featured the handsome tall, blonde Anglo Jesus with a scourge, flailing at a cowering and fleeing group of dark-haired Semitic looking guys with overturned tables and flying shekels …
Anyway, I want to go all Jesus-whips-the-assholes on GOP officeholders all over This Great Land of Ours and chase those shitheels out of their respective capitols. This is not an April Fools joke, even though it involves a lot of fools. I'm just so tired of being appalled.
Who wouldn't vote for a President who rides a unicorn, much less a flying unicorn?
She-Ra for President!
Well what were they supposed to do? Make an ad talking about how Palin, Trump and Newt are such great candidates? Like anyone would buy that, April Fools Day or not.
In other words, our own crop of 2012 contenders is so pathetically unelectable that we did this snarky piece of tepid bitchery to take whatever lame shots we can at the black guy.
God, Republicans do comedy worse than they do, well, everything else. And that's saying something.
The radio version of this ad kicks ass! I think they should go with that.
Damn you, Wonkette. Damn you, April 1st. I can't read anything in the news without wondering if it's a joke. I just read that Trump got his own show on Faux. True or False?
Either way, it's a joke.
Trick question — the real answer is 'refudiate a squirmish'. Also.
This is good news for people stuck in chairs and covered with feces and urine.
no was it good?
http://www.npr.org/2011/04/01/135033545/3d-surger...
A very Happy BDay to our favorite awesome, intelligent and adult journalist!
It would have been a better joke is the GOP actually had an ad indicating they were going to stop race-baiting.
Re-elect McCain/Palin 2012!
uh, April Fools’!
'I do say, when did they begin allowing afro-Americans to golf at Gritwater? And to fish with anything but cane poles?"
When you live in Montana and have to grit your teeth every time a news story mentions the legislature because you know one of the Repub-Teabaggers has put his foot in his big, fat yap again, every day is April Fools Day! Anybody want to take a few of these morons off our hands?
This may be a new trend, Republicans for Obama, a candidate that does unite people, rejects the dynamics of phony libertarianism, and has made gains in many areas including the domestic economy and global leadership.
The golf pic at 0:29 is just epically awesome.
BTW, someone better check out the person who made this video. They seem to have an unhealthy attraction to the Jonas Bros…that is it any attractive to the brothers is at all healthy to begin with.
It's only terrorism if they use an airplane? Then at least the guy who flew into the IRS building and the guy who into the White House during Clinton's term are the world's only other terrorists.
LOL—but ugh, I feel your pain. I have a Paultard brother who will not STFU ever. Like most of these types, they have no sense of decorum and never recall the hoary old adage 'Never discuss politics, sex or religion' in certain company. Makes holidays with the fam so so fun.
He could save that talk for a Paultardy version of Wonkette, but as those folks are humorless, clueless and otherwise moronic (in other words, the complete inversion of this site), there's undoubtedly no fun in it.
You have my sympathies.
Dang! Where were you yesterday when I needed this snappy comeback?
Speaking of Clinton. Wait, I am sworn to secrecy and can't tell anyone. Please, don't ask details. There is someone coming here next month and I get to meet him. My husband told me last night and Nancy's eyes got huge! As soon as it is offically announce I can tell you more and show you the details. I am going to take TONS of pictures for ya'll. I just know that the CEO had the contract and Jeff saw it and he was sworn to secrecy. I don't think anyone reads what I write anyway. The cat is still in the bag.
Ooh! Exciting.
Juicy!
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