KILLING PEOPLE IS OKAY WHEN WE DO IT  5:56 pm March 31, 2011

Montana Legislator Wearing Dumb Tie Decries Drunk Driving Laws

by Jack Stuef

(To be fair, everyone in the Montana legislature is wearing a stupid tie. But c’mon, look at that thing.) Drunk driving is a way of life in Montana, and bars can only survive if they get their patrons drunk enough to go out and kill people? Yeah, sounds about right. [Youtube]

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Lionel[redacted]Esq March 31, 2011 at 5:59 pm

For Montana, this is cutting edge fashion.

Clancy_Pants March 31, 2011 at 5:59 pm

When I was wishing for a new post so I wouldn't have to look at that dirty toilet all night this is not what I had in mind. More dead rats please.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] March 31, 2011 at 6:05 pm

When the Editors wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 31, 2011 at 6:01 pm

This is also what one wears when they are drunk on the job.

HistoriCat March 31, 2011 at 7:52 pm

To be fair, being drunk is the only way to maintain your sanity as a state legislator. Although based on the bullshit which spews from our legislative bodies, they're not imbibing nearly enough.

bumfug March 31, 2011 at 6:03 pm

A stupid tie that matches your stupid moustache is all the rage in Big Sky country.

BloviateMe March 31, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I'm suddenly craving fried chicken, with secret herbs and spices.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] March 31, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Is literally every bit of republican legislative activity about making it easier for Americans to die, or does it just seem that way?

Not_So_Much March 31, 2011 at 7:36 pm

I'm in exile next door in Idaho and the answer is 'yes'. This is pretty tame by local standards. I mean the tie, not the bullshit pouring out his mouth-hole. But the retardation is pretty well in line. Also.

natoslug April 1, 2011 at 11:20 am

If I weren't paying $4.27/gallon for gas and 12+ cents/Kwh for electricity, I'd be laughing at you for still being in Idaho.

Slim_Pickins March 31, 2011 at 6:05 pm

He may be the big brained Republican that finally connects the dots from unions to Sharia law.

elviouslyqueer March 31, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Your move, Saskatchewan.

LionHeartSoyDog March 31, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Or Sasquatch.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum March 31, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Or Fate.

jus_wonderin March 31, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Why its Louis MyFuchen-Teeth. (I know, it is late in the day).

mavenmaven March 31, 2011 at 6:08 pm

The Republicans should just adopt this as their theme song:

poncho_pilot March 31, 2011 at 7:05 pm

soup is good food.

forgracie March 31, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Designated driver much dumbass?

教授 Zoom March 31, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Designated drivers cause socialism, since it requires collective action and takes away an individual's sacred right to get plowed.

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 1:03 am

Slippery slope, slippery slope!

weejee March 31, 2011 at 8:07 pm

They could take their sweetheart into town and then let the ewe drive home.

entropy2 April 1, 2011 at 10:43 am

montana- where men are men and sheep are nervous

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 10:29 pm


SonofSpermcube April 2, 2011 at 1:54 pm

He isn't talking about going clubbing once a month. Having to plan things out in advance like that (in places with spotty cell service, or even spotty land-line service) would adversely affect people's ability to get together at all.

JackDempsey1 March 31, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Resolved: All Montana legislators must look and act like cast members from the cancelled HBO show "Deadwood." Cocksuckers, also.

Pragmatist2 March 31, 2011 at 6:09 pm

If it wasn't for stupid politicians, Montana wouldn't have any politicians at all.

edgydrifter March 31, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Until it's legal to drive with a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone, Montana will never know the taste of freedom. And sheep will never know what drunken trucker dong tastes like, either.

Lost_Teabaggers April 1, 2011 at 1:40 am

Oh please, like Montana is so socialist as to abide by THOSE laws…besides, that's what Montana is there for: shacks for lone, crazed nuts to contemplate attacks against our tyrannical government for giving them healthcare, and wide open spaces where guys like that can have their way with sheep in freedumz…sweet, illicit freedumz.

crybabyboehner April 1, 2011 at 4:58 am

Oh, they know.

facehead March 31, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Can we please go back to talking about rats in toilets; because this is just fucking disgusting.

EdFlintstone March 31, 2011 at 6:10 pm

It looked better on Joe Pesci. Will Mona Lisa Vito testify later to get the bill passed?

problemwithcaring March 31, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Rand Paul just found a running mate. Too bad he doesn't come in high heels.

poncho_pilot March 31, 2011 at 7:09 pm

no, but he does come on high heels.

Callyson March 31, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Oh, but he does…just not this early in the morning.

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 1:21 am

"Come in High Heels" would be a perfect porno title.

[redacted]hse April 1, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Or perfume. "Smells like 'Come-to-Me'."

loulouroo April 1, 2011 at 10:49 am

No, he comes in a sheep's parts. Have you not been paying attention?

fuflans March 31, 2011 at 6:13 pm

this is inescapable logic.

also, i am very glad to see the water cooler right behind the majestic marble column.

V572del c:/*.* y/n? March 31, 2011 at 6:39 pm

That's the "water" cooler…

Pres[ $ rm -r * ] April 1, 2011 at 8:25 am

Also, the thermos of coffee with powdered (!) creamer. It's almost like an auto dealership's waiting room.

GuanoFaucet March 31, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Looks like someone's pissed off he got pulled over by the cops on the way home from the bar on his John Deere riding lawnmower, again.

DahBoner March 31, 2011 at 7:17 pm

OK, I am in favor of making DUI legal in Montana if they could call it "Boner's Law"…


Gopherit March 31, 2011 at 6:16 pm

Won't someone think about the hard-working tavern owners? You know, like this guy. He probably owns 3. And a KFC franchise.

Also, bonus points for saying this as a rep for the only state that has no maximum speed limit on their highways.

Pres[ $ rm -r * ] April 1, 2011 at 8:28 am

Not true. Montana repealed the reasonable & prudent speed limit in 1996. The Wikipedias has an interesting story about why that happened. Now it's 75, which isn't bad either.

Gnatsum April 1, 2011 at 12:49 pm

We USEDTA have no speed limit for about the time it took for even the most retarded of our noble leaders to see that it was not the greatest idea and pass legislation to have a speed limit. But yes, as you can imagine, it was quite an adventure to drive anywhere in our alcohol soaked state during those days.

gef05 March 31, 2011 at 6:16 pm

"…the bars in these small communities connect people together…"

True. Inevitably in the morgue.

mrblifil March 31, 2011 at 6:32 pm

The internet connects people together. Genitals also. Too.

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 1:23 am

They also connect them together in an even more intimate and carnal fashion…

Gratuitous World March 31, 2011 at 6:19 pm

seemingly the only thing outlawed in montana is moderation.

Lost_Teabaggers April 1, 2011 at 1:47 am

Don't fergit book larnin'….maybe we can cut a deal, come to comprimise if you will…we can just write Montana, Idaho, Wyoming and my birth state the great state of Utah off…given them to the teabaggers, they can start their own country and like Canada and Mexico does to us…we can look in and laugh at all the right wing dumbasses as they crash into each others scooters while drunk…and what's left of them can duel over who gets possession of who's double down. Shit, we can even let KFC, Koch Industries and Halliburton all be headquartered there…Avon and Domino's too.

__kth__ March 31, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Before I clicked on the video, I wondered, will he go with "Why Baby Why", or "Six Days On the Road"? The actual spiel was, by those lights, definitely anti-climactic.

PalinPussyPower March 31, 2011 at 6:20 pm

I'd hit that.

With my car, after a night of drunken carousing.

DerrickWildcat March 31, 2011 at 6:22 pm

The Montanese are a proud people.

V572del c:/*.* y/n? March 31, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Montagnards? MontanTards? So many possibilities.

poncho_pilot March 31, 2011 at 7:13 pm

mountebanks? montgoloids?

KenLayIsAlive April 1, 2011 at 12:13 am

Ricardo Montalban does not like the direction this is headed.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum March 31, 2011 at 6:46 pm

And, as so often happens, pride and stupid hats go together.

aguacatero March 31, 2011 at 6:23 pm

These taverns connect people together so well it takes the Jaws of Life to pull them apart.

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 1:25 am


AngryBlakGuy March 31, 2011 at 6:24 pm

…I know there is a Colonel Sanders joke in here somewhere!!! DAMN IT!!!!

MarcelleMarceau March 31, 2011 at 6:26 pm

It's gratifying to know that drunk driving has been a way of life for Montanans for years and years.

DahBoner March 31, 2011 at 7:20 pm


Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 1:28 am

If I were a rich man…

comrad_darkness April 1, 2011 at 10:29 am

They can't lose their one congressional seat. Might as well take advantage.

GuanoFaucet March 31, 2011 at 6:28 pm

He also wants to change Montana's nickname to "Big Skyy Country".

Guppy06 March 31, 2011 at 6:32 pm

I don't think that's what's meant by "social disease."

Guppy06 March 31, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Next week, he'll be explaining to the highway patrol how he doesn't have to blow into the little tube because he's in the middle of performing his legislative duties.

smokefilledroommate March 31, 2011 at 6:34 pm

So I guess in Montana, bar = community center.

poncho_pilot March 31, 2011 at 7:15 pm

to be fair, that holds true in large portions of Wisconsin.

EdFlintstone March 31, 2011 at 6:35 pm

On this weeks episode of Queer Eye for the Hate Guy……….
Theres bad fashion sense, like clothes from the wrong decade, but rarely the wrong century.

owhatever March 31, 2011 at 6:36 pm

The hunnerd and three peeps killed in Montana drunk driving accidents last year would probably disagree with him. Also, he lies: There was the guy that found a third way … riding his horse to the tavern, where he connected with the rest of his community.

zhubajie April 1, 2011 at 7:34 am

Sober horses were the designated carriers in the "good old days."

Troglodeity March 31, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Don't tire tread on me.

Tundra Grifter March 31, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Who is the tall, dark stranger there?
Maverick is his name…

PS: That's just a regular clip-on black bartender bowtie with an extra ribbon run through the bottom. Fake as Sheer uh "Am i uh An Idiot?" uh InSannity's laugh…

MinAgain March 31, 2011 at 6:39 pm

New state motto…

Montana. It'll drive you to drink.

DahBoner March 31, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Or Just Something to Wet Your Whistle

zhubajie April 1, 2011 at 7:35 am

Didn't it used to be the Crazed Loner State?

gullywompr March 31, 2011 at 6:42 pm

First the gold ran out, then the whiskey ran out, then the beer ran out,…it's nice to see a high roller come thru though.

CarnyTrash March 31, 2011 at 8:27 pm

I guess some folks don't like to be called 'high rollers'. I knew a man once; he didn't like to be called 'high handed'.

V572del c:/*.* y/n? March 31, 2011 at 6:42 pm

To be fair, he was arguing against a five-year lookback provision that would make it easier to jail drunk drivers, not in favor of drunk driving qua drunk driving.

To be equally fair, this guy is a douche bag, wrapped in a bow.

kissawookiee March 31, 2011 at 6:46 pm

This makes Arizona's insistence on the right to carry guns into bars seem positively forward-thinking.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 31, 2011 at 6:51 pm

Coincidentally, the yahoo just happens to own his own bar called The Silver Saddle Bar and Cafe.

Troubledog March 31, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Drunk driving at one hundred thirty miles per hour is a way of life in Montana.


SonofSpermcube April 1, 2011 at 5:53 am

On the bright side, you spend less time driving drunk.

MistaEko March 31, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Yes, crazifying your abortion laws is old hat. Now reckless endangerment laws, there's your new frontline.

not that Dewey March 31, 2011 at 7:04 pm


MistaEko March 31, 2011 at 7:04 pm

"these bars … they're the center of the communities"

Where do I get off acting all elitist? Right. Fucking. There.

sportshort March 31, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Lower the drinking age to ten and give young boys and girls the car keys. But only in Montana.

PublicLuxury March 31, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. They are getting their fetuses drunk. That ain't right

aguacatero March 31, 2011 at 7:19 pm

This guy looks like a dumb bit-part character in Deadwood who "needed killin'".

Wilcoxyz March 31, 2011 at 7:43 pm

He also opposes anti-roofie laws. Cause they help bring people together. Guys with stupid ties, and others.

Walkinwiddaking March 31, 2011 at 7:48 pm

"…two ways to get there. (Meaning the taverns) Either you hitchhike or you drive and I promise you that they are not gonna hitchhike." Did I hear that right?

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 1:32 am

It's almost like he's daring them…

XOhioan March 31, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Driving while drunk also promotes organ donation. So there.

emmelemm April 1, 2011 at 1:34 am

Silver lining!!

Toomush_Infer March 31, 2011 at 8:21 pm

Yeah, well, blow it out your ass – he's right about getting places in the boonies – unless you license three-wheelers to drunks, these bars will go broke….or just abandon the roads to drunks between 2:00 and 3:00 am….my only sane choice (I'm drinking at home, like the rest of you sofateers….)

SonofSpermcube April 1, 2011 at 6:19 am

I'm not sure some of these people have ever been more than 5 miles from a Starbucks if they weren't on a plane.

BTWBFDIMHO March 31, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Shutdown the government but keep the bars open!

Beetagger March 31, 2011 at 10:49 pm

I need a new sidekick and he looks like the reincarnation of Andy Devine. Pass me another sasparilla, dag nab it!

raging_boehner March 31, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Read William Kittredge's "Drinking and Driving." This will all make sense to you.

mourningnmerica April 1, 2011 at 12:02 am

What a prick. And he seemed so sweet in Sling Blade.

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 12:56 am

That's like the Republican excuse for every one of their crazy plots "Such-and-such is bad for business." or "it threatens our way of life." Good god, he seriously and earnestly made both of those arguments on this issue. Mind=blown.

"Live Free and Die/Fuck Off", indeed. Alan Grayson was right.

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 1:24 am

I guess "drunk driving" is what they consider "culture" in Montana seeing as how it is an attack of their way of life, and all. Why aren't there any anthropologists speaking up for these fine and proud Montanagrins?

problemwithcaring April 1, 2011 at 1:28 am

A Black or Muslim person should do those drunks a favor and build a community center in one of their nice towns.

Lost_Teabaggers April 1, 2011 at 1:42 am

I hear Boehner is SERIOUSLY contemplating switching states if this guy can get the drunk driving laws repealed. Imagine a drunken orange crashing into someone's home while plowed with an underage prostitute of indeterminent sex, and it's all legal!…it's like Boehner's deepest dreams come true.

Lost_Teabaggers April 1, 2011 at 1:50 am

How about this time honored teabagger distraction? "Look Horus, there's a sheep and she's bendin' over!" Works everytime…except on Huckleberry, he's stricktly a one-swine man (how else could he get sons like those, I'm askin?)

Lost_Teabaggers April 1, 2011 at 1:52 am

Why is it that every time I see a GOP majority state legislature in session I always hear the song "duelin' banjos" in my head?

crybabyboehner April 1, 2011 at 5:04 am

It's a sad day when a man can't find a spitoon in the Montana House chamber.

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 7:47 am

South Carolinian legislators are still butthurt that they can't challenge each other to duels and caning.

SonofSpermcube April 1, 2011 at 5:52 am

He's pretty much right. I can attest to the existence of situations like this in: Alaska, Arizona, Hokkaido (really). Hooray for rural depopulation.

cheetojeebus April 1, 2011 at 8:33 am

I'm surprised at my Wonkette, haven't you folks seen any fashion magazines lately? maybe at the Dr's office? oh right, not many of us get to go in there without the insurance none of us can afford. Well let me tell ya, This guy is sporting a 'steam punk' look and he's doin' it well.
re drunk driving laws.
i'd like to put my boot so far up this doofus' ass he'll be able to taste the tiny bit of Texas still lingering there.

[redacted]hse April 1, 2011 at 9:30 am

I tried the LL Bean catalogue, but couldn't find anything even close. Anyone?

BornInATrailer April 1, 2011 at 10:33 am

Assumed that it was snark and he wouldn't be directly defending drinking and driving. Came away surprised. Thanks, internet.

loulouroo April 1, 2011 at 10:52 am

Whatever you do, don't say Ewwwwweterus! (baaaaaaaaaa)

ttommyunger April 1, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Me likey. This dickwad makes me look downright stylish by comparison.

[redacted]hse April 1, 2011 at 8:21 pm

This bitch owns the statewide franchise for Pickled Eggs.

schvitzatura April 2, 2011 at 5:42 am

SoberRide and public transportation are Demonrat evil programs, taking away money that could be spent on more boilermakers in backwater Montanan watering holes.

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