(To be fair, everyone in the Montana legislature is wearing a stupid tie. But c’mon, look at that thing.) Drunk driving is a way of life in Montana, and bars can only survive if they get their patrons drunk enough to go out and kill people? Yeah, sounds about right. [Youtube]
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 117 comments }
For Montana, this is cutting edge fashion.
When I was wishing for a new post so I wouldn't have to look at that dirty toilet all night this is not what I had in mind. More dead rats please.
When the Editors wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
This is also what one wears when they are drunk on the job.
To be fair, being drunk is the only way to maintain your sanity as a state legislator. Although based on the bullshit which spews from our legislative bodies, they're not imbibing nearly enough.
A stupid tie that matches your stupid moustache is all the rage in Big Sky country.
I'm suddenly craving fried chicken, with secret herbs and spices.
Is literally every bit of republican legislative activity about making it easier for Americans to die, or does it just seem that way?
I'm in exile next door in Idaho and the answer is 'yes'. This is pretty tame by local standards. I mean the tie, not the bullshit pouring out his mouth-hole. But the retardation is pretty well in line. Also.
If I weren't paying $4.27/gallon for gas and 12+ cents/Kwh for electricity, I'd be laughing at you for still being in Idaho.
He may be the big brained Republican that finally connects the dots from unions to Sharia law.
Your move, Saskatchewan.
Or Sasquatch.
Or Fate.
Why its Louis MyFuchen-Teeth. (I know, it is late in the day).
The Republicans should just adopt this as their theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-F4e5I1LHI&fe…
soup is good food.
Designated driver much dumbass?
Designated drivers cause socialism, since it requires collective action and takes away an individual's sacred right to get plowed.
Slippery slope, slippery slope!
They could take their sweetheart into town and then let the ewe drive home.
montana- where men are men and sheep are nervous
WIN
He isn't talking about going clubbing once a month. Having to plan things out in advance like that (in places with spotty cell service, or even spotty land-line service) would adversely affect people's ability to get together at all.
Resolved: All Montana legislators must look and act like cast members from the cancelled HBO show "Deadwood." Cocksuckers, also.
If it wasn't for stupid politicians, Montana wouldn't have any politicians at all.
Until it's legal to drive with a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone, Montana will never know the taste of freedom. And sheep will never know what drunken trucker dong tastes like, either.
Oh please, like Montana is so socialist as to abide by THOSE laws…besides, that's what Montana is there for: shacks for lone, crazed nuts to contemplate attacks against our tyrannical government for giving them healthcare, and wide open spaces where guys like that can have their way with sheep in freedumz…sweet, illicit freedumz.
Oh, they know.
Can we please go back to talking about rats in toilets; because this is just fucking disgusting.
It looked better on Joe Pesci. Will Mona Lisa Vito testify later to get the bill passed?
Rand Paul just found a running mate. Too bad he doesn't come in high heels.
no, but he does come on high heels.
Oh, but he does…just not this early in the morning.
"Come in High Heels" would be a perfect porno title.
Or perfume. "Smells like 'Come-to-Me'."
No, he comes in a sheep's parts. Have you not been paying attention?
this is inescapable logic.
also, i am very glad to see the water cooler right behind the majestic marble column.
That's the "water" cooler…
Also, the thermos of coffee with powdered (!) creamer. It's almost like an auto dealership's waiting room.
Looks like someone's pissed off he got pulled over by the cops on the way home from the bar on his John Deere riding lawnmower, again.
OK, I am in favor of making DUI legal in Montana if they could call it "Boner's Law"…
# I HAD TO WORK *SOB* IN A TAVERN
Won't someone think about the hard-working tavern owners? You know, like this guy. He probably owns 3. And a KFC franchise.
Also, bonus points for saying this as a rep for the only state that has no maximum speed limit on their highways.
Not true. Montana repealed the reasonable & prudent speed limit in 1996. The Wikipedias has an interesting story about why that happened. Now it's 75, which isn't bad either.
We USEDTA have no speed limit for about the time it took for even the most retarded of our noble leaders to see that it was not the greatest idea and pass legislation to have a speed limit. But yes, as you can imagine, it was quite an adventure to drive anywhere in our alcohol soaked state during those days.
"…the bars in these small communities connect people together…"
True. Inevitably in the morgue.
The internet connects people together. Genitals also. Too.
They also connect them together in an even more intimate and carnal fashion…
seemingly the only thing outlawed in montana is moderation.
Don't fergit book larnin'….maybe we can cut a deal, come to comprimise if you will…we can just write Montana, Idaho, Wyoming and my birth state the great state of Utah off…given them to the teabaggers, they can start their own country and like Canada and Mexico does to us…we can look in and laugh at all the right wing dumbasses as they crash into each others scooters while drunk…and what's left of them can duel over who gets possession of who's double down. Shit, we can even let KFC, Koch Industries and Halliburton all be headquartered there…Avon and Domino's too.
Before I clicked on the video, I wondered, will he go with "Why Baby Why", or "Six Days On the Road"? The actual spiel was, by those lights, definitely anti-climactic.
I'd hit that.
With my car, after a night of drunken carousing.
The Montanese are a proud people.
Montagnards? MontanTards? So many possibilities.
mountebanks? montgoloids?
Ricardo Montalban does not like the direction this is headed.
And, as so often happens, pride and stupid hats go together.
These taverns connect people together so well it takes the Jaws of Life to pull them apart.
FTW
…I know there is a Colonel Sanders joke in here somewhere!!! DAMN IT!!!!
It's gratifying to know that drunk driving has been a way of life for Montanans for years and years.
#TRADITION
If I were a rich man…
They can't lose their one congressional seat. Might as well take advantage.
He also wants to change Montana's nickname to "Big Skyy Country".
I don't think that's what's meant by "social disease."
Next week, he'll be explaining to the highway patrol how he doesn't have to blow into the little tube because he's in the middle of performing his legislative duties.
So I guess in Montana, bar = community center.
to be fair, that holds true in large portions of Wisconsin.
On this weeks episode of Queer Eye for the Hate Guy……….
Theres bad fashion sense, like clothes from the wrong decade, but rarely the wrong century.
The hunnerd and three peeps killed in Montana drunk driving accidents last year would probably disagree with him. Also, he lies: There was the guy that found a third way … riding his horse to the tavern, where he connected with the rest of his community.
Sober horses were the designated carriers in the "good old days."
Don't tire tread on me.
Who is the tall, dark stranger there?
Maverick is his name…
PS: That's just a regular clip-on black bartender bowtie with an extra ribbon run through the bottom. Fake as Sheer uh "Am i uh An Idiot?" uh InSannity's laugh…
New state motto…
Montana. It'll drive you to drink.
Or Just Something to Wet Your Whistle
Didn't it used to be the Crazed Loner State?
First the gold ran out, then the whiskey ran out, then the beer ran out,…it's nice to see a high roller come thru though.
I guess some folks don't like to be called 'high rollers'. I knew a man once; he didn't like to be called 'high handed'.
To be fair, he was arguing against a five-year lookback provision that would make it easier to jail drunk drivers, not in favor of drunk driving qua drunk driving.
To be equally fair, this guy is a douche bag, wrapped in a bow.
This makes Arizona's insistence on the right to carry guns into bars seem positively forward-thinking.
Coincidentally, the yahoo just happens to own his own bar called The Silver Saddle Bar and Cafe.
Drunk driving at one hundred thirty miles per hour is a way of life in Montana.
Fixed.
On the bright side, you spend less time driving drunk.
Yes, crazifying your abortion laws is old hat. Now reckless endangerment laws, there's your new frontline.
THIS IS DWI CHECKPOINT SLAVERY!! ALERT BASIL MARCEAUX!
"these bars … they're the center of the communities"
Where do I get off acting all elitist? Right. Fucking. There.
Lower the drinking age to ten and give young boys and girls the car keys. But only in Montana.
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. They are getting their fetuses drunk. That ain't right
This guy looks like a dumb bit-part character in Deadwood who "needed killin'".
He also opposes anti-roofie laws. Cause they help bring people together. Guys with stupid ties, and others.
"…two ways to get there. (Meaning the taverns) Either you hitchhike or you drive and I promise you that they are not gonna hitchhike." Did I hear that right?
It's almost like he's daring them…
Driving while drunk also promotes organ donation. So there.
Silver lining!!
Yeah, well, blow it out your ass – he's right about getting places in the boonies – unless you license three-wheelers to drunks, these bars will go broke….or just abandon the roads to drunks between 2:00 and 3:00 am….my only sane choice (I'm drinking at home, like the rest of you sofateers….)
I'm not sure some of these people have ever been more than 5 miles from a Starbucks if they weren't on a plane.
Shutdown the government but keep the bars open!
I need a new sidekick and he looks like the reincarnation of Andy Devine. Pass me another sasparilla, dag nab it!
Read William Kittredge's "Drinking and Driving." This will all make sense to you.
What a prick. And he seemed so sweet in Sling Blade.
That's like the Republican excuse for every one of their crazy plots "Such-and-such is bad for business." or "it threatens our way of life." Good god, he seriously and earnestly made both of those arguments on this issue. Mind=blown.
"Live Free and Die/Fuck Off", indeed. Alan Grayson was right.
I guess "drunk driving" is what they consider "culture" in Montana seeing as how it is an attack of their way of life, and all. Why aren't there any anthropologists speaking up for these fine and proud Montanagrins?
A Black or Muslim person should do those drunks a favor and build a community center in one of their nice towns.
I hear Boehner is SERIOUSLY contemplating switching states if this guy can get the drunk driving laws repealed. Imagine a drunken orange crashing into someone's home while plowed with an underage prostitute of indeterminent sex, and it's all legal!…it's like Boehner's deepest dreams come true.
How about this time honored teabagger distraction? "Look Horus, there's a sheep and she's bendin' over!" Works everytime…except on Huckleberry, he's stricktly a one-swine man (how else could he get sons like those, I'm askin?)
Why is it that every time I see a GOP majority state legislature in session I always hear the song "duelin' banjos" in my head?
It's a sad day when a man can't find a spitoon in the Montana House chamber.
South Carolinian legislators are still butthurt that they can't challenge each other to duels and caning.
He's pretty much right. I can attest to the existence of situations like this in: Alaska, Arizona, Hokkaido (really). Hooray for rural depopulation.
I'm surprised at my Wonkette, haven't you folks seen any fashion magazines lately? maybe at the Dr's office? oh right, not many of us get to go in there without the insurance none of us can afford. Well let me tell ya, This guy is sporting a 'steam punk' look and he's doin' it well.
re drunk driving laws.
i'd like to put my boot so far up this doofus' ass he'll be able to taste the tiny bit of Texas still lingering there.
I tried the LL Bean catalogue, but couldn't find anything even close. Anyone?
Assumed that it was snark and he wouldn't be directly defending drinking and driving. Came away surprised. Thanks, internet.
Whatever you do, don't say Ewwwwweterus! (baaaaaaaaaa)
Me likey. This dickwad makes me look downright stylish by comparison.
This bitch owns the statewide franchise for Pickled Eggs.
SoberRide and public transportation are Demonrat evil programs, taking away money that could be spent on more boilermakers in backwater Montanan watering holes.
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