‘Dozens’ Show Up For Teabagger Tea Party In Washington Today

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Whoops, we forgot all about today’s Tea Party “Rascal Rumble” on the National Mall today! Turns out the Teabaggers forgot about it, too. According to Fox News, “dozens” showed up. Also according to Fox News, it would’ve been a much bigger rally but, uh, it was kind of cold outside. You know, 42 degrees, rainy. Nobody wants to get all wet or have to put on a raincoat or whatever!

As the Daily Kos points out, it was just a wee bit chillier out when more than 100,000 pro-labor Americans turned out to support the public workers in Wisconsin. In fact, it was about 15 degrees and snowing the whole time.

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


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  • OvertonWindolt

    To be fair, they all tried to get there, but the rain shorted out their hoverrounds.

    • dr_giraud

      It was poignant, really, watching the hoverrounds spin in the mud. It made you realize what a mercy the Death Panels will be.

  • GayInMaine

    Ma, rain must be a comin'. The gears on my Hoverround are stickin'. Best stay indoors today.

    • OvertonWindolt


  • JustPixelz

    Dozens! That's most of Beck's audience.

  • gullywompr

    No problem. Fox has stock reels of other rallies.

    • Jim89048

      Are there palm trees in DC?

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        No, but despite the rain and the cold, it is a sunny fall day at the rally.

      • Radiotherapy

        Who knows? But they're ruining my cherry blossom experience.

    • MrsBiggTime

      Nuremberg comes to mind

      • gullywompr


    • GOPCrusher

      Maybe they can explain why President Obama is standing on a podium in front of the Capitol giving his Inauguration Address.

  • SorosBot

    So Fox's excuse is to call their own viewers a bunch of wimps who can't a bit of a chilly drizzle.

    • chicken_thief

      It's ok. That sort of logic is well beyond their capabilities.

  • Badonkadonkette

    According to Fox News, “dozens” showed up

    Applying the Fox News equation of 1000(X), where "X" is the actual number of people who attended a teatard event, this means there were two mice and a tumbleweed on the Mall.

    • emmelemm


    • ThankYouJeebus

      There probably were dozens. But they were the make-up and production crew for Faux.

  • metamarcisf

    Only dozens? And I was ready to make some clever comment about D.C. today being the wheelchair capital of the world…

  • smokefilledroommate

    Most of them can't just up and buy a ticket to DC, now. There needs to be a celebritee like Glenn Beck, et. al. to get them off the couch and out of the pork rind bag.

  • freakishlywrong

    Ahh..Teatardlicans. Looks like the fanny packs were on a little too tight. That ship has sailed with the dog that won't hunt aboard.

  • chicken_thief

    There was way more than "dozens" – but that was all that would fit on the Mall lawn.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If FOX said dozens, it must have been, what, 2 people?

    And, give them a break. It is not like our founders ever did anything in the cold and bad weather:

    • ShaveTheWhales

      I was thinking it had to be less than one person, using the usual Fox crow devaluation factor.

      And, after some thought, I stand by "less". "Fewer" applies to integral quantities.

  • mavenmaven

    The teabaggers usefulness has dried up, their Koch-masters now want them to disappear.

  • Troubledog

    Did you see that picture Weigel posted, of Bachmann posing for a pic, accidentally and unfortunately standing next to the birther sign? That was pretty funny.

    • freakishlywrong

      But..they're NOT racists.

    • GOPCrusher

      Obviously the other woman in the photo, is a Democratic plant, with a strategically placed sign, looking to discredit Representative Bachmann (R-Minnesotastan)

    • [redacted]hse

      The blond woman's hat is mighty snazzy. She must be so proud of how marvelous she looks!

  • DownFist Troll

    Well, to be fair, it is REALLY hard to get a Rascal onto the mall.

  • widestanceroman

    Even teatards know radioactive rain is not a pacemaker's BFF (not to mention what ordinary rain does to a handlebar-mounted 8-track player).

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    “Rascal Rumble” gives me an idea for a new type of demolition derby.
    We might have to punch it up little by placing very sensitive air bags under their seats.

  • weejee

    Well dozens is a math term the teatards know, since that's what donuts and eggs are packaged in when a bagger is on a diet.

  • Sue4466

    Dozens of millions, you mean. Report the truth, librul Fox News!

  • EdFlintstone

    To be fair it was BOGO day at Golden Corral.

  • prommie

    Needs moar Albert Speer and Leni Reifenstahl.

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      Triumph of the Wildebeasts?

      • jqheywood

        That would be gnus to me…

    • deanbooth

      I see you have fascism on your mind today, prommie. Me too — the removal Maine mural seems more ominous, more telling, than all the union busting. Add to that the Wisconsin legislature's disrespect for the courts and Cantor's idea that a bill can become law without Senate approval, and it may be that we are reaching a tipping point. As the guy who wrote the "First they came for…" line said, it happens in small, nearly imperceptible stages, in incremental transgressions not individually outrageous enough to be worthy of mass protest.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Truly, it was a gaggle of TeaTards.

    The rest of them are standing in line to get the first tickets to the new "Atlas Shrugged" movie coming out in a couple of weeks. They'll be sorry when they realize it 's April 15 and they haven't filed their taxes!

    The movie, I'm sure will break all sorts of box office records.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Well, it should be a case of the movie being better than the book, because what could be worse than that piece-of-shit book? I can't wait till they get to the part with the three hour monologue!

  • timbo71351

    Does that mean we can now start ignoring those fat, dumb, old, bitter racists?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Well to be fair, by mass the doughy dozens weigh as much as 100K unionists.

    • [redacted]hse

      Fair? I say push them over in their scooters and then, when they start crying and screaming and kippering around like a mackerel on a deck, point out that "life isn't fair!"

      Then set them on fire.

  • Pop_Socket

    At least we don't have to worry about the cherry blossoms being trampled underneath the scooter wheels.

  • Hatrabbit

    Only three people actually showed up. 'Dozens' refers to the amount of donuts they consumed.

    • Ken Layne

      … per person.

  • Giveusabob

    Hey waitaminute. That's the plot from The Infinite Jest, minus the huge, radioactive/toxic dump in upper New England!

    (Although, I've not been to Vermont recently. Things could've changed.)

  • GOPCrusher

    Spanx-wearing Cherokee shemales=Great Band Name

  • GinnehRED57

    This is what happens when you fail to fertilize your AstroTurf in the fall; weak grassroots and a MUCh smaller crop o' mechano-grubs in the spring.

  • DaRooster

    These numbers only happened due to the amount of camouflage being worn… I'll betcha!

  • 4TheTurnstiles

    Teabagging has jumped the shark. Fox now working on new programming…

    • __kth__

      well we had a "tax revolt", and before it was all about the war on terror. That means Family Values is next in the rotation, so closets will need to be scoured of wetsuits, dildoes, and diapers toot sweet.

  • JustPixelz

    As long there's no Sharia Law, it's OK.

  • Gopherit

    But those dozens were all hard core. Hard. Core. FREEDUMB!!

  • PublicLuxury

    I bet the food was a factor. Nobody organized the potluck so there was nothing to sustain the hover-baggers. Many hover-baggers will probably be found dead of corn syrup withdrawl along the paths and roadways to the National Mall.

  • PublicLuxury

    Didn't Scalia take out a few hover-baggers on the Georgetown Prkwy?

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    I am interested in your viewpoints and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  • finallyhappy

    Hell yeah- I had on tights,thermals top and bottom, a silk t-shirt, a turtle neck, a sweater, sweat pants, boots, a thermaloft coat and hot pads in my double gloves and boots- and my feet were still cold(also had on my Inaugural volunteer hat- STILL PROUD!!!)

    . Hey, I had over 300 people at my exhibit today so I guess I am much more of a draw than Crazy eye Michele!

  • finallyhappy

    Considering the crowds in Dc right now for Cherry Blossoms, quite the truth!

  • MinAgain

    Hell, we turned out 4500 teachers in Nashville on a cold and rainy March 5. So much so that we've taken to calling it the Umbrella Revolution……

  • Midway117

    NPR had a real story on this, those liberal bastards.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Agreed – if ClusterFox says "dozens" the whole thing was probably just a line for a lunchtime hotdog cart.

  • Sparky_McGruff

    I suspect there is nothing little about them. Well, maybe their brains, and their sense of fairness, decency, and empathy.

  • problemwithcaring

    They release dozens of Teabgaggers on the Mall and then bitch when the National Park Services will still have to re-sod.

  • ttommyunger

    Do you suppose they've finally figured out that they are just props in the Koch-Kibuke Theater called Politics? Naaaaaaw! Prolly just the rain.