let there be dumb!

Hotbed of Civil Rights S.C. Considering ‘Incandescent Light Bulb Freedom Act’

With incandescent bulbs being phased out under federal law in favor of energy-efficient compact fluorescents, legislators want to exempt South Carolina from the measure, saying Washington has no business telling the state how to light its closets and countertops.

The proposed state law, called the Incandescent Light Bulb Freedom Act, “allows South Carolina to say to the federal government we are going to exercise our rights,” said Republican state Rep. Bill Sandifer, a co-sponsor.

IF THERE WAS EVER ANYTHING TO SECEDE OVER, THIS IS IT. Stop being racist against needlessly polluting light bulbs, Obama! LET THEM BE FREE! [The State via Wonkette operative "Andrea D."]

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101 comments

    1. MildMidwesterner

      That's true… for a long time, the lights have been on in South Carolina with nobody home.

  1. bumfug

    I'm surprised that anyone in South Carolina has figured out how to screw in any kind of lightbulb.

    1. MadBrahms

      Well, they mastered the art of screwing in the back of a pickup truck without knocking over the gun rack, so maybe this was the next logical step.

    2. problemwithcaring

      Well, it takes one person to screw it in, while 1 and half million Democrats prevent 2 million Republicans from fucking the socket.

  2. SorosBot

    The last South Carolina tried to assert their alleged rights over the Federal government that is actually superior to them under the Constitution, it didn't work out too well for them.

  3. Texan_Bulldog

    So, I guess this means everyone has a job & health insurance in SC, right? If W had proposed this, they'd put a damn fluorescent bulb on their state flag…

    1. mumbly_ジョジョ

      W *did* propose it- this bill passed in '07. It's just that nobody mentioned it until 2009, when suddenly it suddenly mutated into ironclad proof that NOBAMA was a muslin socialist government overreach.

      1. Texan_Bulldog

        I actually wondered about that; I was just too lazy to look it up. Figures…eye roll. Not sure what's worse: the mean-spiritness or the stupidity, but combined it's making for a heaping helping of awful.

  4. Hatrabbit

    Yeah the federal government can't tell those South Carolina Republicans how to light up their closets! that they gather in. together. to share make-up tips and pass around their wive's clothes. And have sex with each other. and stuff.

  5. DaRooster

    ….“allows South Carolina to say to the federal government we are going to exercise our rights,”…

    I am sure the people of SC have talked extensively about this and have decided this is the most important thing to worry about.

    1. SorosBot

      It's their whole obsession with pissing off the liberals; there is no downside to switching to the florescent lights, the only reason to oppose it is because are the assholes who will buy a 10-mpg Hummer just because environmentalists don't like them, even though they're ripping themselves off by paying more for fuel / electricity and light bulbs.

      1. tessiee

        Can we take the official position that we're opposed to suicide, so that all these asstards will kill themselves and *freaking get it over with*?

  6. BarackMyWorld

    Conservatives get worked up over stupid shit.

    Meanwhile, 13 million American children are living in poverty and all we get from them is a collective "So what?"

    1. glamourdammerung

      it is a bunch of astroturfing being done by energy companies that are mad that they are not going to make as much if pointless energy consumption goes down.

      I will I was making that up.

    2. harry_palmer

      Actually, this is a sideshow to distract us all from those 13 million American children living in poverty.

    3. GOPCrusher

      You can only repeal child labor laws so fast. Give them time, and those 13 million children will be able to get jobs and get out of poverty.

  7. Hatrabbit

    'Incandescent Light Bulb Freedom Act' a legislative triumph which will only be eclipsed by the upcoming "Fuck Socialist Teachers, Let's Throw Them In Jail Act"

    1. GOPCrusher

      Better yet. Fire them. No teachers, mean no teachers union and no more teachers strikes.
      That'll show them.

  8. Steverino247

    I'm sure someone in SC will figure out a way to call those who oppose this law, "Darkies" and oppress the shit out of them.

  9. arihaya

    ALSO PROPOSED:

    "Jumping-into-Speeding-Trucks Freedom Acts" and "Feeding-Yourself-Fried-Lard-to-Death Freedom Act"

    1. Giveusabob

      Is there an online donation website for this, where I could pitch in to help usher certain South Carolinans into their respective, truck-flattened, deep-fried oblivions? I'm feeling generous today.

  10. elviouslyqueer

    So does this mean that Charleston residents are going to start flinging florescent bulbs at Fort Sumter?

  11. widestanceroman

    Sharia creeps in on little curly bulbs that make patriots feel bad about sodomizing swine and liking it.

    Since there's nothing about electricity in the Constitution, let's just cut the state off.

    1. ShaveTheWhales

      Sharia creeps in on little curly bulbs that make patriots feel bad about sodomizing swine and liking it.

      Carl Sandburg, eat your heart out.

  12. glamourdammerung

    There are some solutions to this type of nonsense. One of the better ones would involve cutting all their federal funding until they decide to be part of the United States again. The best would to be declaring a "mulligan" on that Civil War they started (and still cry about).

  13. LetUsBray

    To what extent is this pro-incandescent bulb idiocy being funded by light bulb manufacturers?

    1. imissopus

      Interestingly, according to today's Gail Collins column, the National Electrical Manufacturing Association, which is the trade association for the electrical products manufacturing industry, says demand for the old bulbs has dropped by 50% over the last five years. So this might be genuine, non-astroturfed idiocy.

  14. Not_So_Much

    Combine this with their bill to allow concealed carry in churches and day-care centers, and there's so much fucking freedom in SC that they'll be lucky to survive it all.

  15. jus_wonderin

    Oh my sweet Jesus! Isn't there some class somewhere that teaches lawmakers how to pick a fight. Incandescent bulbs????? Freakin' God Save Us!!!

  16. edgydrifter

    The sun shines equally on everyone, providing heat and light for free! That's as Communist as Lenin's Tomb, right there. I demand South Carolina ban the sun from polluting the state with it's evil socialistic rays immediately!

    1. problemwithcaring

      That's right! If only preserving Earth's limited resources was as important to the American economy as JP Morgan Chase; Earth could charge "transaction fees" on those cheap bulbs no one wants. Instead, government has to "tax" = all white people die.

  17. CrankyLttlCamperette

    Oh, fer Gawd's sake, just let them secede already!

    PS — these jackholes do know that the law also promotes use of the new, more efficient incandescent bulbs and not just all the squiggly CFC's, right?

    Yeah, didn't think so.

  18. ttommyunger

    This law, when enacted, will probably be judged not to have gone quite far enough and will no doubt be followed by the "Freedom to Rub Two Sticks Together and Apple Pie Act" coupled with the "Anti-Biotics are Satan's Tiny Abortions Act".

    1. JustPixelz

      OK.

      This is the brightest idea to come out of SC since secession.
      That's right SC, WALK TOWARD THE BRIGHT LIGHT.
      The maximum wattage allowed is the same as average IQ, so SC is OK for a few more years.
      Jim DeMint is planting his bulbs to grow a beautiful candelabra for Lindsay.

  19. The_Great_Gazoo

    Miss Teen South Carolina Lauren Caitlin Upton:
    “I personally believe, that U.S. Americans, are unable to do so, because uh, some, people out there, in our nation don’t have maps. And uh…I believe that our education like such as in South Africa, and the Iraq, everywhere like such as…and, I believe they should uh, our education over here, in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

    Host Mario Lopez:
    “Thank you very much South Carolina.”

  20. Thurman Munster IV

    Once again this proves that the only bright thing to come out of South Carolina is Stephen Colbert

  21. weejee

    How many rednecks does it take to screw in a CFL?

    10. One to hold the bulb while the other 9 pickup and turn the holdee's hoveround.

  22. SheriffRoscoe

    Representative Sandifer wants the people of his state to please keep wasting resources, money, and using a product that has to be replaced four times more often than the available alternative. He's a…….wait for it………."Conservative." Once again, I get the feeling I've been dropped into an alternate universe.

  23. Crank_Tango

    There is no freedom until I can put whatever drug into my body that I want.

    Although I do kinda hate those squirmish fluorescent bulbs, I am kinda getting used to their suckiness.

  24. V572del c:/*.* y/n?

    Dear mavenmaven

    Thank you for your kind offer. I regret to inform you that we must respectfully decline.

    Very truly yours,
    V572 etc.

  25. V572del c:/*.* y/n?

    May I just say here that compact fluorescent light "bulbs" suck dead rat dicks, and bathe everything in a creepy, somnambulent glow that makes life seem not really worth living. Plus "fluorescent" is too damn hard to spell.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Floorezsent iz teh soszhulismz!

      (But seriously, there's a lot of different shades and temperatures of fluorescents available. I've become something of a nerd on this subject, since I run a business that has me changing lightbulbs all the time. I think the light of the 'warmer' bulbs is very comparable to the olde-style ones, but they're not as bright as advertised, so I just go up one step when replacing an incandescent.)

  26. Lascauxcaveman

    I don't agree that incandescent bulbs should be outlawed, as I believe this is one area the free market will do the job quickly enough. Basically you're an idiot if you want to spend three times as much to light your home/business, and most people will get this over time.

    But I admit it is funny to watch idiot congressmen and state legislatures fiddle with stupid shit like this while Rome burns.

  27. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, when I think that just a few years ago we had proud people facing fire hoses and attack dogs for their rights to inefficient light bulbs, I am so proud that the legislator have come around so quickly to defend this important civil right.

  28. TanzbodenKoenig

    And do you know what other southern state tried to assert the sovereignty of their laws against federal intrusion?

  29. MinAgain

    Q. How many South Carolinians does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. Well, duh. South Carolinians refuse to change their light bulbs. Freedom!

  30. PubOption

    Perhaps they should go back to good American direct current, and not use the evil Croatian/Serbian alternating current.

  31. arihaya

    "In the beginning GOD created the heaven and the earth. And GOD said, Let there be Incandescent Light Bulb, and there was Incandescent Light Bulb. "

    The Book of Genesis. South Carolina version

  32. Gopherit

    Incandescent bulbs seem too science-y for a place like the great state of South Carolina. I propose they use something more in tune with their mindset. The biggest problem will be miniaturizing the burning crosses for indoor use.

  33. PublicLuxury

    Talk about and legislate anything so as not to address the jobless, homeless, most helpless, and sickest among us.

  34. Monsieur_Grumpe

    As an electrical engineer I’ve spent some time designing LED lights of various sorts mostly industrial applications. My house is a working light bulb experiment including halogens, CFLs and LEDs . Drives my wife nuts when I start babbling that the whole kitchen is being lit with the same amount of energy used by that single lttle Incandescent 30Watt bulb under the microwave. Sometimes I comment on articles online about new light bulbs, their efficiencies, light quality and what I have found with my trials. The comment sections always attract the wingnutz writing complete scientific nonsense about how the light bulbs are boiling their brains or makes their eyes buzz. They eventually wind up declaring they are going to stock up on cases of incandescent bulbs and the government will have to take them from their cold dead hands.

  35. trondant

    If you take I-85 through there, you can tell exactly when you hit the state line, even if you're blind. If you are, the pavement turns to shit, potholes etc., everywhere. If you can see, look to your right – there's a line of at least ten out-of-state cars pulled over by a single state trooper, waiting to contribute to SC's rebbenue.

    I still like my idea of giving Charleston to another state, then giving the rest of that shithole to the Air Force for bombing practice.

  36. tessiee

    Part of the problem is that no one in SC knows what the hell an "incandescent bulb" is. Try pronouncing it "lotbub" so they understand what you mean.

    1. Negropolis

      Try pronouncing it "lotbub" so they understand what you mean.

      ROTFL! I know everyone has a regional accent, but I'm hearing that one in my head and it's just hilarious.

  37. SkinnyNerd

    Wait, am I the only person here who likes incandescent bulbs? Is this really our biggest environmental problem? Don't fluorescent bulbs contain mercury? Was the federal law passed without thinking about the effects of dumping all that mercury in landfills? More importantly, are we going to have an underground incandescent trade? Will the ATF be renamed Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Bulbs? I tend to skew left on my politics, but do we really want some government forcing us into using the most efficient of everything? Am I going to use any non interrogative sentences in this comment?

  38. GOPCrusher

    When will someone like Alvin Greene step forward and weigh in on this topic? He could be the one person that could stop the insanity.

  39. ThundercatHo

    And cucumbers. One guy came back twice, even after having abdominal surgery to remove what his rent-boy had planted. The docs had to tell his wife he had an "intestinal blockage".

  40. Troubledog

    We're supposed to suspend our disbelief, and just stipulate that those motherfuckers can spell incandescent?

  41. Negropolis

    Fight the power (company)!

    Such tyranny, such oppression. The real problem is that the administration of a black president wants to attempt to bring them into the 21st century, and they'll have none of that. "Keep your hands off of my 20th century lightbulb you damned, dirty ape", right?

    South Carolina: Fighting Modernity (and winning) since 1788.

  42. Schmegeg

    There is really nothing left to say. The legislature of South Carolina is filled with jerkoffs.

Comments are closed.