LET THERE BE DUMB!  11:17 am March 31, 2011

Hotbed of Civil Rights S.C. Considering ‘Incandescent Light Bulb Freedom Act’

by Jack Stuef

With incandescent bulbs being phased out under federal law in favor of energy-efficient compact fluorescents, legislators want to exempt South Carolina from the measure, saying Washington has no business telling the state how to light its closets and countertops.

The proposed state law, called the Incandescent Light Bulb Freedom Act, “allows South Carolina to say to the federal government we are going to exercise our rights,” said Republican state Rep. Bill Sandifer, a co-sponsor.

IF THERE WAS EVER ANYTHING TO SECEDE OVER, THIS IS IT. Stop being racist against needlessly polluting light bulbs, Obama! LET THEM BE FREE! [The State via Wonkette operative "Andrea D."]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 101 comments }

donner_froh March 31, 2011 at 11:21 am

South Carolina should stick an incandescent light bulb up its collective ass.

ThankYouJeebus March 31, 2011 at 11:22 am

If ever there was a state that needed to turn off the lights, it's South Carolina.

DaRooster March 31, 2011 at 11:25 am

But then they couldn't see the Dark Browns sneaking up on them, though, and such…

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 3:02 am

"Dark Browns"

I'm going to have to remember that one.

MildMidwesterner March 31, 2011 at 12:34 pm

That's true… for a long time, the lights have been on in South Carolina with nobody home.

bumfug March 31, 2011 at 11:22 am

I'm surprised that anyone in South Carolina has figured out how to screw in any kind of lightbulb.

KenLayIsAlive March 31, 2011 at 11:47 am

They've already received hundreds of supportive emails from Poland on this very topic.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 31, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Only the blonds.

MadBrahms March 31, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Well, they mastered the art of screwing in the back of a pickup truck without knocking over the gun rack, so maybe this was the next logical step.

problemwithcaring April 1, 2011 at 2:10 am

Well, it takes one person to screw it in, while 1 and half million Democrats prevent 2 million Republicans from fucking the socket.

SorosBot March 31, 2011 at 11:23 am

The last South Carolina tried to assert their alleged rights over the Federal government that is actually superior to them under the Constitution, it didn't work out too well for them.

harry_palmer March 31, 2011 at 11:25 am

Or for us, either – they're still a pimple on the Union's ass.

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 3:09 am

Honestly, did they forget about the whole nullification thingy?

DaRooster March 31, 2011 at 11:23 am

Lighting the good light…

Dumb-asses are asses… and dumb.

CliveWarren March 31, 2011 at 11:24 am

Illuminati is behind Big Light Bulb…

Badonkadonkette March 31, 2011 at 11:24 am

It's OK, everyone. The law doesn't apply to black lights.

ShaveTheWhales April 1, 2011 at 2:19 am

Or grow lights.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] March 31, 2011 at 11:25 am

Give me wasteful inefficiency or give me death!

Texan_Bulldog March 31, 2011 at 11:25 am

So, I guess this means everyone has a job & health insurance in SC, right? If W had proposed this, they'd put a damn fluorescent bulb on their state flag…

harry_palmer March 31, 2011 at 11:27 am

Hey, it's the War of Northern Aggression that threw all the darkies out of their jobs.

mumbly_ジョジョ March 31, 2011 at 12:28 pm

W *did* propose it- this bill passed in '07. It's just that nobody mentioned it until 2009, when suddenly it suddenly mutated into ironclad proof that NOBAMA was a muslin socialist government overreach.

Texan_Bulldog March 31, 2011 at 12:36 pm

I actually wondered about that; I was just too lazy to look it up. Figures…eye roll. Not sure what's worse: the mean-spiritness or the stupidity, but combined it's making for a heaping helping of awful.

Hatrabbit March 31, 2011 at 11:26 am

Yeah the federal government can't tell those South Carolina Republicans how to light up their closets! that they gather in. together. to share make-up tips and pass around their wive's clothes. And have sex with each other. and stuff.

DaRooster March 31, 2011 at 11:28 am

….“allows South Carolina to say to the federal government we are going to exercise our rights,”…

I am sure the people of SC have talked extensively about this and have decided this is the most important thing to worry about.

SorosBot March 31, 2011 at 11:47 am

It's their whole obsession with pissing off the liberals; there is no downside to switching to the florescent lights, the only reason to oppose it is because are the assholes who will buy a 10-mpg Hummer just because environmentalists don't like them, even though they're ripping themselves off by paying more for fuel / electricity and light bulbs.

tessiee March 31, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Can we take the official position that we're opposed to suicide, so that all these asstards will kill themselves and *freaking get it over with*?

GOPCrusher March 31, 2011 at 2:59 pm

How can we be against suicide when we are for abortion?

BarackMyWorld March 31, 2011 at 11:29 am

Conservatives get worked up over stupid shit.

Meanwhile, 13 million American children are living in poverty and all we get from them is a collective "So what?"

glamourdammerung March 31, 2011 at 11:35 am

it is a bunch of astroturfing being done by energy companies that are mad that they are not going to make as much if pointless energy consumption goes down.

I will I was making that up.

harry_palmer March 31, 2011 at 11:46 am

Actually, this is a sideshow to distract us all from those 13 million American children living in poverty.

problemwithcaring April 1, 2011 at 2:11 am

I wish they had to work this hard to distract us.

GOPCrusher March 31, 2011 at 3:00 pm

You can only repeal child labor laws so fast. Give them time, and those 13 million children will be able to get jobs and get out of poverty.

deanbooth March 31, 2011 at 8:07 pm

But without incandescent light bulbs, what will they do for heat?

Come here a minute March 31, 2011 at 11:29 am

Careful analysis reveals they've been violating the lead paint ban for years.

tessiee March 31, 2011 at 2:14 pm

HAW!!
*high five*

Hatrabbit March 31, 2011 at 11:30 am

'Incandescent Light Bulb Freedom Act' a legislative triumph which will only be eclipsed by the upcoming "Fuck Socialist Teachers, Let's Throw Them In Jail Act"

GOPCrusher March 31, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Better yet. Fire them. No teachers, mean no teachers union and no more teachers strikes.
That'll show them.

Steverino247 March 31, 2011 at 11:31 am

I'm sure someone in SC will figure out a way to call those who oppose this law, "Darkies" and oppress the shit out of them.

V572del c:/*.* y/n? March 31, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Illuminati! Sendero Luminoso!

arihaya March 31, 2011 at 11:31 am

ALSO PROPOSED:

"Jumping-into-Speeding-Trucks Freedom Acts" and "Feeding-Yourself-Fried-Lard-to-Death Freedom Act"

Giveusabob March 31, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Is there an online donation website for this, where I could pitch in to help usher certain South Carolinans into their respective, truck-flattened, deep-fried oblivions? I'm feeling generous today.

elviouslyqueer March 31, 2011 at 11:32 am

So does this mean that Charleston residents are going to start flinging florescent bulbs at Fort Sumter?

widestanceroman March 31, 2011 at 11:34 am

Sharia creeps in on little curly bulbs that make patriots feel bad about sodomizing swine and liking it.

Since there's nothing about electricity in the Constitution, let's just cut the state off.

ShaveTheWhales April 1, 2011 at 2:20 am

Sharia creeps in on little curly bulbs that make patriots feel bad about sodomizing swine and liking it.

Carl Sandburg, eat your heart out.

CapeClod March 31, 2011 at 11:35 am

The "Dim Bulbs for Bright Lights Freedom Act," is the official name of the legislation.

tessiee March 31, 2011 at 2:14 pm

If it ain't true, it oughta be!

glamourdammerung March 31, 2011 at 11:38 am

There are some solutions to this type of nonsense. One of the better ones would involve cutting all their federal funding until they decide to be part of the United States again. The best would to be declaring a "mulligan" on that Civil War they started (and still cry about).

Sue4466 March 31, 2011 at 11:39 am

It's better to light a candle freedom bulb than curse the darkness.

LetUsBray March 31, 2011 at 11:42 am

To what extent is this pro-incandescent bulb idiocy being funded by light bulb manufacturers?

imissopus March 31, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Interestingly, according to today's Gail Collins column, the National Electrical Manufacturing Association, which is the trade association for the electrical products manufacturing industry, says demand for the old bulbs has dropped by 50% over the last five years. So this might be genuine, non-astroturfed idiocy.

Not_So_Much March 31, 2011 at 11:45 am

Combine this with their bill to allow concealed carry in churches and day-care centers, and there's so much fucking freedom in SC that they'll be lucky to survive it all.

jus_wonderin March 31, 2011 at 11:45 am

Oh my sweet Jesus! Isn't there some class somewhere that teaches lawmakers how to pick a fight. Incandescent bulbs????? Freakin' God Save Us!!!

Jim89048 March 31, 2011 at 11:46 am
edgydrifter March 31, 2011 at 11:47 am

The sun shines equally on everyone, providing heat and light for free! That's as Communist as Lenin's Tomb, right there. I demand South Carolina ban the sun from polluting the state with it's evil socialistic rays immediately!

problemwithcaring April 1, 2011 at 2:30 am

That's right! If only preserving Earth's limited resources was as important to the American economy as JP Morgan Chase; Earth could charge "transaction fees" on those cheap bulbs no one wants. Instead, government has to "tax" = all white people die.

CrankyLttlCamperette March 31, 2011 at 11:52 am

Oh, fer Gawd's sake, just let them secede already!

PS — these jackholes do know that the law also promotes use of the new, more efficient incandescent bulbs and not just all the squiggly CFC's, right?

Yeah, didn't think so.

ph7 March 31, 2011 at 11:52 am

The bitters cling to guns, religion and…the Edison bulb?

Rosie_Scenario March 31, 2011 at 11:54 am

I hear they are setting up Light Citizens Councils.

ttommyunger March 31, 2011 at 11:54 am

This law, when enacted, will probably be judged not to have gone quite far enough and will no doubt be followed by the "Freedom to Rub Two Sticks Together and Apple Pie Act" coupled with the "Anti-Biotics are Satan's Tiny Abortions Act".

GodShammgod March 31, 2011 at 11:54 am

[insert joke about dim bulbs and Jim DeMint already being free here]

JustPixelz March 31, 2011 at 12:50 pm

OK.

This is the brightest idea to come out of SC since secession.
That's right SC, WALK TOWARD THE BRIGHT LIGHT.
The maximum wattage allowed is the same as average IQ, so SC is OK for a few more years.
Jim DeMint is planting his bulbs to grow a beautiful candelabra for Lindsay.

The_Great_Gazoo March 31, 2011 at 11:55 am

Miss Teen South Carolina Lauren Caitlin Upton:
“I personally believe, that U.S. Americans, are unable to do so, because uh, some, people out there, in our nation don’t have maps. And uh…I believe that our education like such as in South Africa, and the Iraq, everywhere like such as…and, I believe they should uh, our education over here, in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.”

Host Mario Lopez:
“Thank you very much South Carolina.”

jus_wonderin March 31, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Did her motherboard fail too????

elviouslyqueer March 31, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Um, Lauren? Sarah Palin called and wants her speechwriter back. Kthx.

ThundercatHo March 31, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Another fine product of xtian homeschooling?

ShaveTheWhales April 1, 2011 at 2:23 am

"And world peace".

Thurman Munster IV March 31, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Once again this proves that the only bright thing to come out of South Carolina is Stephen Colbert

Jim89048 March 31, 2011 at 12:03 pm

♪♫Turn out the lights
The party's over…♪♫

weejee March 31, 2011 at 12:04 pm

How many rednecks does it take to screw in a CFL?

10. One to hold the bulb while the other 9 pickup and turn the holdee's hoveround.

yellowerdog March 31, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Senator Lindsey Graham prefers soft white bulbs while Jim DeMint likes full spectrum floods.

The_Great_Gazoo March 31, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Lindsey likes his closet to be dimly lit.

SheriffRoscoe March 31, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Representative Sandifer wants the people of his state to please keep wasting resources, money, and using a product that has to be replaced four times more often than the available alternative. He's a…….wait for it………."Conservative." Once again, I get the feeling I've been dropped into an alternate universe.

Crank_Tango March 31, 2011 at 12:28 pm

There is no freedom until I can put whatever drug into my body that I want.

Although I do kinda hate those squirmish fluorescent bulbs, I am kinda getting used to their suckiness.

ShaveTheWhales April 1, 2011 at 2:25 am

Well, there's the part where they work nearly forever.

V572del c:/*.* y/n? March 31, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Dear mavenmaven

Thank you for your kind offer. I regret to inform you that we must respectfully decline.

Very truly yours,
V572 etc.

V572del c:/*.* y/n? March 31, 2011 at 12:36 pm

May I just say here that compact fluorescent light "bulbs" suck dead rat dicks, and bathe everything in a creepy, somnambulent glow that makes life seem not really worth living. Plus "fluorescent" is too damn hard to spell.

Lascauxcaveman March 31, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Floorezsent iz teh soszhulismz!

(But seriously, there's a lot of different shades and temperatures of fluorescents available. I've become something of a nerd on this subject, since I run a business that has me changing lightbulbs all the time. I think the light of the 'warmer' bulbs is very comparable to the olde-style ones, but they're not as bright as advertised, so I just go up one step when replacing an incandescent.)

Lascauxcaveman March 31, 2011 at 12:38 pm

I don't agree that incandescent bulbs should be outlawed, as I believe this is one area the free market will do the job quickly enough. Basically you're an idiot if you want to spend three times as much to light your home/business, and most people will get this over time.

But I admit it is funny to watch idiot congressmen and state legislatures fiddle with stupid shit like this while Rome burns.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 31, 2011 at 12:38 pm

You know, when I think that just a few years ago we had proud people facing fire hoses and attack dogs for their rights to inefficient light bulbs, I am so proud that the legislator have come around so quickly to defend this important civil right.

TanzbodenKoenig March 31, 2011 at 12:40 pm

And do you know what other southern state tried to assert the sovereignty of their laws against federal intrusion?

MinAgain March 31, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Q. How many South Carolinians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Well, duh. South Carolinians refuse to change their light bulbs. Freedom!

WABishop March 31, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Rarely has the South Carolina assembly been put to more worthwhile use.

tessiee March 31, 2011 at 2:17 pm

You may have meant that sarcastically, but it's actually true.

PubOption March 31, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Perhaps they should go back to good American direct current, and not use the evil Croatian/Serbian alternating current.

arihaya March 31, 2011 at 1:36 pm

"In the beginning GOD created the heaven and the earth. And GOD said, Let there be Incandescent Light Bulb, and there was Incandescent Light Bulb. "

The Book of Genesis. South Carolina version

Gopherit March 31, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Incandescent bulbs seem too science-y for a place like the great state of South Carolina. I propose they use something more in tune with their mindset. The biggest problem will be miniaturizing the burning crosses for indoor use.

PublicLuxury March 31, 2011 at 1:45 pm

People that live in South Carolina are not actual humanl, right?

PublicLuxury March 31, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Talk about and legislate anything so as not to address the jobless, homeless, most helpless, and sickest among us.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 31, 2011 at 2:13 pm

As an electrical engineer I’ve spent some time designing LED lights of various sorts mostly industrial applications. My house is a working light bulb experiment including halogens, CFLs and LEDs . Drives my wife nuts when I start babbling that the whole kitchen is being lit with the same amount of energy used by that single lttle Incandescent 30Watt bulb under the microwave. Sometimes I comment on articles online about new light bulbs, their efficiencies, light quality and what I have found with my trials. The comment sections always attract the wingnutz writing complete scientific nonsense about how the light bulbs are boiling their brains or makes their eyes buzz. They eventually wind up declaring they are going to stock up on cases of incandescent bulbs and the government will have to take them from their cold dead hands.

trondant March 31, 2011 at 2:18 pm

If you take I-85 through there, you can tell exactly when you hit the state line, even if you're blind. If you are, the pavement turns to shit, potholes etc., everywhere. If you can see, look to your right – there's a line of at least ten out-of-state cars pulled over by a single state trooper, waiting to contribute to SC's rebbenue.

I still like my idea of giving Charleston to another state, then giving the rest of that shithole to the Air Force for bombing practice.

tessiee March 31, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Part of the problem is that no one in SC knows what the hell an "incandescent bulb" is. Try pronouncing it "lotbub" so they understand what you mean.

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 3:24 am

Try pronouncing it "lotbub" so they understand what you mean.

ROTFL! I know everyone has a regional accent, but I'm hearing that one in my head and it's just hilarious.

PubOption March 31, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Are the wingnuts now taking orders from Bruce Tinsley? http://jewishworldreview.com/strips/mallard/2000/

SkinnyNerd March 31, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Wait, am I the only person here who likes incandescent bulbs? Is this really our biggest environmental problem? Don't fluorescent bulbs contain mercury? Was the federal law passed without thinking about the effects of dumping all that mercury in landfills? More importantly, are we going to have an underground incandescent trade? Will the ATF be renamed Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Bulbs? I tend to skew left on my politics, but do we really want some government forcing us into using the most efficient of everything? Am I going to use any non interrogative sentences in this comment?

GOPCrusher March 31, 2011 at 3:12 pm

When will someone like Alvin Greene step forward and weigh in on this topic? He could be the one person that could stop the insanity.

DashboardBuddha March 31, 2011 at 8:12 pm

GOP lighbulbs in closets? I think we saw that coming.

ThundercatHo March 31, 2011 at 10:23 pm

And cucumbers. One guy came back twice, even after having abdominal surgery to remove what his rent-boy had planted. The docs had to tell his wife he had an "intestinal blockage".

vulpes82 March 31, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Why won't Obama let Miss Lindsey screw in what he wants in his closet?!

Troubledog April 1, 2011 at 1:06 am

We're supposed to suspend our disbelief, and just stipulate that those motherfuckers can spell incandescent?

Negropolis April 1, 2011 at 2:56 am

Fight the power (company)!

Such tyranny, such oppression. The real problem is that the administration of a black president wants to attempt to bring them into the 21st century, and they'll have none of that. "Keep your hands off of my 20th century lightbulb you damned, dirty ape", right?

South Carolina: Fighting Modernity (and winning) since 1788.

Schmegeg April 1, 2011 at 12:04 pm

There is really nothing left to say. The legislature of South Carolina is filled with jerkoffs.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: