'He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as quasi-people, will get to the Promised Land.'Because a state lawmaker read “a magazine article on such practices in China and India,” Arizona is set to ban abortions made on the basis of the race or sex of the fetus. Not that there’s evidence women in Arizona abort a fetus based on its perceived race or sex; there isn’t. But this is a matter of CIVIL RIGHTS and Jan Brewer and her Republican legislators are not going to stand idly by watching those brave fetus freedom-marchers get hosed down by police, handcuffed at the lunch counters, refused entry into segregated “fully-developed-child only” public schools, and turned away from playing golf at Augusta National. Doctors better be careful not to give abortions to women who believe in anything but absolute equality for all people, or they’re going to be thrown in prison. Oh, and here’s a riddle: Why do so many minorities in Arizona have abortions? They’re racist and sexist!

Republican supporters had said that statistics show a high percentage of abortions are being sought by minority women and that abortion clinics intentionally locate in minority areas.

Oooooh! Must be because they’re racist! It’s the minorities who are always the ones racist against minorities, right? Thank God the noble white people of Arizona are around to make sure those minorities aren’t allowed to be racist.

The law allows the father of an aborted fetus – or, if the mother is a minor, the mother’s parents – to take legal action against the doctor or other health-care provider who performed the abortion. If convicted of the felony, physicians would face up to seven years in jail and the loss of their medical license.

“We shall overcome.” — fetuses who can somehow talk [Arizona Republic via Wonkette operative chascates]

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  • MrsBiggTime

    Can't we just abort Arizona and be done with it?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Depends. Are you aborting it BECAUSE IT IS FILLED WITH MESSICANS YOU RACIST?

      • anonymousryan

        The Mexicans are fine, they make delicious food and work hard. It's the whiny white people who are all on social security/disability and/or Arizona State graduates (you can major in disability collection at ASU).

        • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

          With a minor in Unemployment and Workmans Comp!

        • kissawookiee

          What's the fastest way to get an ASU grad off your front porch?

          Pay him for the pizza.

      • CrankyLttlCamperette

        No, because it's full of racists.

  • tcaalaw

    statistics show a high percentage of abortions are being sought by minority women and that abortion clinics intentionally locate in minority areas

    So now businesses aren't supposed to locate near their customer base? What is this, socialist central planning?

    • ShaveTheWhales

      The thing is, at least the second clause in that sentence is a fucking lie. While it's possible that some clinics intentionally locate in minority areas, statistics show that the considerable majority of them are not so located.

      Not that the good legislators of AZ care about, you know, truth.

  • “We shall overcome.” — fetuses who can somehow talk

    And sing as well.

  • Does this bill prohibit requiring minority fetuses to move to the back of the butt?

  • 教授 Zoom

    It's good to see that Arizona has a strong Civil Whites movement.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Oooh, upfisty!

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      I'd hardly call that civil…

  • CapeClod

    This sounds like a law that protects anchor babies. Has this been pointed out to these wing nuts?

    • spooked911

      That does seem like a contradiction, doesn't it? I would like to think that these conflicting thoughts would make their heads explode but I think wingnuts are highly immune to conflicting viewpoints.

  • The_Great_Gazoo

    They are building a dang fetus fence.

  • Captain_Quark

    I look forward to the fetus testimony that will be part of the deliberations on this bill. But what will Arizona do about those illegal Mexican fetuses? Does an "anchor baby" fetus get protection, too?

  • metamarcisf

    The bill that passed is a watered down version of the original, in which "political affiliation" was included in the criteria, along with race and sex. Why do the democrats hate the constitution?

  • undeterredbyreality

    If abortions for racists and sexists are outlawed only racists and sexists will be born.

    Sounds like the perfect prescription for maintaining the status quo in AZ.

    • anniegetyerfun

      It used to be such a nice place to visit, too. And now I can't take my brown husband there because they'll ask him for his papers every 2.8 seconds. I just want some decent Mexican food and a little sunshine, is that too much to ask?

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Come to Tejas (but just the Austin part). Lots of good food & the white folks aren't scared of/don't hate the brown folks.

  • MildMidwesterner

    This bill is clearly aimed at a blind Dave Chapelle shouting "white power!"

  • Steverino247

    We Shall Overcome?! No! Kumbaya or GTFO!

  • "Republican supporters had said that statistics show"… stuff they don't understand so they just made up a bunch of shit, like they always do.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    What if they know the baby is Muslin?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Waterboarding time! What? Fetuses seem to like water, it's just a matter of introducing them to boards.

    • widestanceroman

      Nixon thought abortion was fine if the parents were a white and a black, so I guess by default, that would also be OK.

    • Jim89048

      They cut off its right hand.

  • Hatrabbit

    Also, guns for fetuses. Go Arizona! GO GO GO!

  • SorosBot

    Well I for one always trust that the state that refused to recognize MLK day until it was finally forced by the NFL in the 90s is being on the level when they say they're trying to protect civil rights.

  • BloviateMe

    Why don't they just outlaw "icky, possibly unamerican stuff" and be done with it?

    • Well, finally a concise and easily enforceable plan for the Tea Party.

      And if there is any conflict Clarence Thomas and many other Repubtards know all about the "icky".

    • Limeylizzie

      Weeps softly.

  • Fare la Volpe

    They intentionally locate in poor areas, you fart-fuckers, because those are the women most in need of family planning. If you wanna stop abortion, pull people out of poverty.

    Oh wait, that's big, intrusive government. Let's stick a camera up a woman's cooch. That's made of freedom and eagle babies.

  • GregComlish

    Racist Abortions are why Ginni Thomas has never had a child.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Oh, I thought it was because she's a dude.

    • widestanceroman

      She never had sex either, since Clarence has never asked her.

      • Jim89048

        Real men never ask!

  • Blendergoathead

    Shit. If I knew low-income minorities were, also, craving abortions, I would've set up a fetus-killing clinic right next door to that liquor store I bought down in the ghetto.


  • BloviateMe

    I'm waiting for some wingnut to introduce a bill prohibiting trains from entering tunnels, because of the message it sends today's fragile youths.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Right after they hang a giant drape over the Washington Monument.

  • ThundercatHo

    Why do the republicans hate rich, white babies so much?

  • anniegetyerfun

    "Ma'am, it has come to my attention that you and your husband… are black."
    "That's right, doctor."
    "And you are pregnant, and want to have an abortion."
    "Well, doctor, we have three kids already, and the youngest is less than a year old. We're struggling financially, as my husband's union was dismantled, and I'm a teacher; as you know, special education instruction doesn't pay that well."
    "But your fetus, ma'am… it's black."
    "I'm afraid you will be unable to abort it, because that would be racist."
    "Oh, of course, how could I be so stupid? I don't know what's best for me. Thank you for having my back, Doctor!"
    "Not a problem, ma'am. You know how we Tea Party supporters want nothing more than to see the world filled with more black babies!"

    • Blendergoathead


    • Redhead

      "Ma'am, what would you think about having a baby girl in seven months?"
      "Well, I don't want to have a baby in about seven months, that's why I'm here – I'm having financial problems now and can't afford a baby."
      "So ma'am, you're saying that you don't want to have a baby girl in seven months?"
      "Well, no, I don't."
      "Well ma'am, if you abort this baby, that will be sexist."
      "You mean it's a girl?"
      "Well, I can't say that – I won't be able to tell the age of your baby for another 10-14 weeks. But it might be sexist, if you are having a girl, so you better not abort. Just to be on the safe side."

  • baconzgood

    "abortion clinics intentionally locate in minority areas."

    That's because rich people go "on vacation" and have thier father's golf buddy do it in his basement.

  • ttommyunger

    Next, Governor Drinky McFuckstick will introduce a Bill to prohibit wiping one's ass with the left hand. Damn lefties! She withdrew a recently introduced bill that would outlaw men positioning the penis along the left pant-leg when her Republican Legislators revealed that none of them have enough penis to reach below the crotch of their trousers.

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    They said statistics show that some populations are increasingly seeking abortions based on the fetus' sex.

    "Some populations", huh? Gee, I wonder what that means?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Actually, I'm kind of curious. What does she mean? Traditionally, the only culture that really seems to favor having more boys over girls, and will abort female fetuses in order to have boys, is China. The practice is specifically outlawed in Islam, and I don't know how high the abortion rate is in Hispanic communities, but I wouldn't imagine that it would favor having more boys than girls.

      • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

        Actually, I'm kind of curious. What does she mean?

        Scary swarthy foreigners who intend to undermine the moral character of out country by sneaking in and then having sex-selective abortions while burning American flags and voting Democrat.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Clearly it's men aborting all the girls babies inside them. Sexist pigs.

      Edit: Christ Almighty, Annie, sorry for the comment spam. Intense Debate crapped a great big squirmish and suddenly I had sixteen of the same comment.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      The populations of the sovereign nations of China and India.

  • Fare la Volpe

    women would choose to abort because they didn't like the gender or the race of the baby

    They seem to be under the impression that there is a black woman out there who keeps going to the abortionist because, try as she might, the babies inside her just keep turning out black. What's a gal to do but try her luck again?

    "Maybe this one will turn out white! C'mon big money big money."

    • anniegetyerfun

      They don't consider the possibility that some women might choose to abort because they don't like babies.

    • kissawookiee

      Now that's just racist. I have it on good authority that the bill is actually aimed at white couples who don't want to pony up several thousand dollars for a trip to radioactive China.

  • gef05

    Funny they're opposed to this. I would have thought aborting foreign babies would be Arizona's Official State Abortion.

    Edit: My my. TWO downfisters? I must have said something right.

    • 教授 Zoom

      Don't flatter yourself–I doubt that these doofuses even read the comments before downfisting.

      • mavenmaven

        The Breitbart downfisters can't help themselves, being fused to their chairs and all that…

      • gef05

        "The fuckwit is strong in these two."

  • chicken_thief

    Somewhere in there is a money angle. Like when Brewer passed the "lock up the brownz" so her buddy, who owns a private prison for Federal inmates, could earn a buck or two. Matching federal funds for child welfare programs maybe? Oh, wait, they already did away with helping the poorz….

  • anniegetyerfun

    Where they will be stopped and asked to show their papers. For WTACWB (walking to abortion clinic while brown).

  • DaSandman

    Wait…Arizona teabag terrorists can read?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Obviously not.

    • Jim89048

      They have their fetus read it to them.

  • baconzgood

    "A 1/3 of Arizonians in Arizona aren't in Arizona becasue of abortion"

    -Ricky "The Dicky" Santorum-

  • GregComlish

    If a Mexican woman has a child then she's making an anchor baby. If she terminates the pregnancy it's because she's a goddamned racist.

  • This could all be solved by just giving fetuses the vote.

    Arizona can use more intelligent voters.

  • mookwrthwilson

    Patton Oswalt does a bit where he talks about how Planned Parenthood is always in the minority neighborhood, and ironically they have really bad cell phone service there too…

  • recello

    Donor ID required … ?

  • freakishlywrong

    This legislation is sure to create tons o' jawbs.

  • Next up!
    Arizona declares the rare white fetus the official state fetus.

  • LabRodent

    Its like a big CRAZY contest being run between these Republican states.
    Up next Mississippi

    • baconzgood

      I hope not Mississippi. I got Tex-ass up next on the office poll.

    • Negropolis

      Haley Barbour's running for president, so America's #50 Ranked State in Everything is going to be quiet for a few more months. In fact, Haley was in the news, today, for wanting to build a Civil Rights museum in the state. **gag**

  • anonymousryan

    I wonder if they ever considered that minorities have a higher rate of abortion because they're poor and the same people that passed this law keep cutting any and all programs to help feed, house, or provide medical care to the poor? "Have your baby because all life is sacred, just hope it doesn't need state funding for an organ transplant or that poor little bastard can go fuck himself."

    • Fare la Volpe

      Every sperm is sacred, up until it's born. Then it's just a freeloader.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      You're missing a key point here… With all those unaborted babies, the free-market organ sales marketplace will be sitting in the catbird seat!

  • GuanoFaucet

    This is good news for Social Security!

    • gullywompr


  • lochnessmonster

    Did I miss it? I didn't see anything about if the father is a minor, only the mother.

  • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

    Arizona moves a little bit closer to perfection every day the legislature meets.

  • prommie

    Fetus fetishism has become the national religion.

  • "Because a state lawmaker read “a magazine article"

    Read an article? Yeah, right.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Actually, it was a "friend's" magazine

  • Rosie_Scenario

    Worth repeating: "If men could become pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament."

    • phlox✔

      …and free daycare would have be written into the Bill of Rights.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Fortunately you can still legally abort a fetus you suspect may be gay.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      Beat me to it.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    If passed, expect an amendment for exceptionsto the law once there is a genetic test for teh ghey gene.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Smaller government…blah, blah…government coming between patients and doctors…yadda, yadda, yadda…social engineering…

  • Sue4466

    And, there's no mention of what happens if the father is a minor. So, the list of possible owners expands from fathers and husbands to high school juniors.

  • Pragmatist2

    Ah, but homophobes can abort away!!!!
    If you are Mexican they will probably pay you to have one.

  • This is good news for hot Mexican pool boys who want to sue racist white couples.

  • MinAgain

    What's next? Going after Korean-owned wig shops that locate primarily in minority areas? After all, it's so racist to sell all those wigs to black folks.

  • PublicLuxury

    Everybody understands that 'brown' fetuses are undesirable and less apt to be viable 'white' humans.

  • betweenstations

    I do not get this. "I want big black dick but hells no to having a mixed race baby?" Or what?

    If you don't like people of a certain race, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THEM. This seems… simple?

    • Failure_Artist

      Wanting sex /= wanting babies. Mixed race babies are less likely to be adopted, and the mother may not want her child to suffer through 18 years of foster care.

  • tessiee

    Dingdingding!! We have a winnah!

  • tessiee

    Isn't that already the No Incredibly Boring Sports bill?

  • MadBrahms

    Any minority member caught trying to have an abortion will be sent to a camp in the desert awaiting deportation. Because we *care* about them, America.

  • that's the most stupidest way to use the race card!

  • Redhead

    …. and gender can't be determined by ultrasound until about 16-22 weeks. That's well into the second trimester. Many places ban or restrict abortion after the first trimester (Arizona restricts – maybe flat out bans, I'm not sure) and most abortions done for any reason other than a health problem arising with the mother are done well before the first trimester ends. So…. who exactly is aborting based on gender?

  • Negropolis

    Cool. Let's ban something that never happens, and even if it did, would be almost impossible to discern and thus enforce!

    Arizona, you're not doing it right. Hell, you're not doing anything right.

  • cholula

    You know who else targets minorities? The military. Just saying.

  • ariel0505

    we don't have an abortion problem, we have a poverty problem.

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