“I’m just a kid…” Okay! So stop! You will be an adult some day, but this will be on the Internet forever! “Available on iTunes.” Oh God.
Kory shore is a singer, songwriter and gifted musician with the talent and charisma to rival that of child performers Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus.
But do those other children sing about birth certificates and redistributive tax policies?!?!?!
This kid in 50 years:
(If he’s not riddled with new orifices and stuffed behind a K Street dumpster in approximately a week, that is.)
The best part of this video, obviously, is when the kid’s stroke-addled old sex offender mentor raps about freedom in the “Fat Usher section.” [Videogum via Gawker]
{ 188 comments }
It's no Friday, that's for sure.
But Rebecca is black.
So, there can be none more black.
When I looked over on the Suggestions sidebar, the videos considered similar were "Friday" and "Justin Bieber Shot on CSI"
Thomas Paine and Ben Franklin need to work on their rap game.
Korny? Shore!
What about crying for Good Taste or the lack of it?
Look out, Justin Bieber!
I think Lincoln preferred what Booth did to his head.
Judging by the video vis a vi the scale of Mount Rushmore our new patriotic Justin Beiber is 33ft high, eat that Libtards.
Still not tall enough to ride 900 ft Jesus.
Or his Tyrannosaurus mount.
Doesn't matter how tall he is, his penis is still 2 and a half inches.
I give it an 8. It has a good beat, and you can demagogue to it.
When does he get second amendmented by his meth dealer?
Oooh, I made it almost a whole 20 seconds.
hahahaha I made it to 28 seconds, but I have a wicked tooth abscess, so my pain threshold is not what it would normally be. I think it actually made my mouth feel better for half a minute…
I made it to :27 but I'm heavily opiated today.
You bitches are LAME. I made it to 1:27 before retching loudly. I WIN!
Or lose, really, depending on how you look at it.
tl;d
That's about how long Chris Lee was a congressman I think.
Got a few seconds into it and was distracted by a missed lyric opportunity. He should have started wandering around the Founding Fathers singing "I'm just…a kid…who wants…a wig…"
I'm just a kid, but like Booth I pop caps,
I split wigs of beardy dudes in top hats.
Wiki-wiki-wiki-WHA!
I'm just a kid who wants a Whig?
Fail. Not once dod I see him cavorting with Ronald Raygun or touching Sarah Palin’s Alaska.
Oh that Alaska, it's such a hairy, er, scary place.
Muskrats all around.
I wouldn't touch Sarah Palin's Alaska with your Florida.
I feel like my hate of children has finally been substantiated. This is a good day.
If his mama would have laid off the booze during those nine months he might have stood a chance.
Jesus Fucking Christ, don't do that to us again!
Just waiting for a mountain or a stiff breeze to bounce that young man from the top of the mountain.
Sorry. Couldn't get past the first 30 seconds. Why do I have this feeling that the next news about this little emo shit will be about how bullied he was before swallowed the working end of his dad's .38?
he'll be an hero.
Jared Loughner, welcome to This Is Your Life!
or his stepdad's 6"
What is he going to do when he hits puberty?
maybe it'll help his singing.
He'll probably fix that with the same remedy the tea baggers propose for all of us. 'A .38 calibre vasectomy.'
Tell his parents to go fuck themselves, then move in with his boyfriend Ramon.
"I'm crying for America, I'm dying for America."
No, you are a FUCKING 11 YEAR OLD DOUCHE.
hey now, don't discourage the kid. i have no problem with him dying for america, the precious little scamp.
His voice sings of America, but he dresses French.
You know who else was a "singer, songwriter, and gifted musician" with a bad haircut…
…yep, Elton John.
Paul Anka?
Emo wingtard is emo.
conservatives should leave the arts to us pinkos. i've seen paintings by real elephants that are better than this song.
Is it wrong that I masturbated to this? I feel so squirmish now.
Mark Foley? That you?
You think you got problems? I masturbated to the Ashcroft video.
HA!
Could there be cute young female teabagger offspring who swoon over this kid? What do they throw at him, keys to their chastity belts?
nah, they all have retinal scanners on them these days.
He should do a team-up with those Prussian Blue white supremacist twin singers.
Or the wacist pundit kid. They could do a variety show.
Vawiety
Whatever happened to those two girls? They dropped out of sight. I think they both hate their mother now.
I'm hoping they both got revenge on their racist brainwashing parents by getting knocked up by black guys.
OK, Kory, show us on the doll where the man at CPAC touched you.
Oh Gawd, that poor kid. All he wanted to do was play Pokemon on his DSi and watch The Clone Wars, DAD. This is some serious Mommy Dearest shit right here.
The conservatives will eat this up faster than you can say Lee Greenwood.
The unhinged music teacher mother who forced this "performance" should be put in prison for child abuse.
No, you're not crying for Amarica, you're crying for you. In thirty years when you've finished working a sixteen-hour day in your union-free plutonium mine and traded your daily foodstamps for White Kasuls and 2 packs a peace cigs, you'll take the bus past the seven-story mansion/bordello where the town's only plutocrat spends all day eating solid gold and doing millions of dollars of cocaine off a stripper's ass (your daughter is the stripper, and gets ten cents an hour).
You we should cry for, but America will be just fine.
and cakes we like?
Slather those cakes with musturd and 3 ketchups and we've got a deal.
Sure life will be hell, but if it annoys the Democrats, then it's fine by me.
If Thomas Jefferson were alive today, he would smack the living shit out of this kid's parents.
"Kory Shore is a singer, songwriter and gifted musician with the talent and charisma to rival that of child performers Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus."
I don't care how much a douche bag a kid is, that's just WAAAAAAAAY out of bounds.
(P.S. NOW I'm glad they took away my flash player.)
Not to mention that it's wrong – Cyrus is not a child anymore.
That's simply inspirational. In fact, I'm inspired to pay for his mom's next abortion.
Downfister on the move!
How he can downfist us for making fun of this is beyond me.
We have to understand it is probably beyond him too.
I am kinda loving the idea of someone being so pathetic as to just sit on these posts all fucking day and clicking on the little red hands, for every single comment and reply…I mean talk about being a useless human being…
seriously, I love it.
please don't kill yourself just yet, loser, you have so much more to give the world.
…Or to take away. I bet he's alot like the Kid's in the Hall "Crush your head" guy.
"I'm dying for America" Guess what? I'd let him! Actually, if there is anything I could do to help, just let me know.
Send some relatives to go visit him.
I've been thinking about this. How does this little shit kid think he's "dying for America?" I'd like to see him sing this crap to Marine who is in physical rehabilatatin to learn to walk again.
Or somebody should take him for a walk near Fisher House at Fort Sam Houston, where he can see how some young wounded people are going to have to live out their lives with their faces disfigured, limbs missing, etc.
Ha ha! Well, no, not really. Sorry.
But he says he's "dying for America", not "dying for America's former President's daddy issues and lust for oil".
Needs Moar PedoBear.
Both vids made me feel a bit squirmish.
I have to wonder. Is this a warblog or a squirmish?
I'd start here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY
My sainted mother in law never understood why her grown children and there spouses rushed to the TV when "The Muppet Show" came on.
Hmmm….that sounded like a lot of soaring rhetoric and platitudes without any real substance but that would be very un-teabagger like, so I must not have been listening (I wasn't). Also, this kid has "future twink pooped out of the bottom of the gay porn industry" written all over him.
Eh. Give him 4 years. He'll meet a rough trick named Jim and start a webcam show to pay for his PCP addiction. Tragic.
if he said he wanted to run for president the Rs would talk about an amendment to remove the age requirement. like they talked about doing on the natural citizen bit when they were hyping Schwanzenegger. downfister is back, i see.
"I'm dying for the buttsechs. I'm crying for the buttsechs"
“Is our generation out of luck?”
Yes apparently.
Is Teddy giving him head?
Still waiting!
"The talent and charisma to rival that of child performers Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus. "
Can you imagine combining these two into a single teabagger kid? I don't want to.
do you mean genetically? or like at cold stone when they mix two types of ice cream together?
I think he means like using the Large Hadron Collider.
How about two properly aimed and calibrated catapults?
This is why auto-tune was invented.
"Do you believe, believe, believe in life after love, love, love"
The worst thing is, there is some serious autotune abuse going on in that track, yet somehow he seems off anyway. The glitchyness in the voice that really jumps out at the end of the song and at the end of the first verse betrays some heavy, heavy processing. The poor DSP trying to keep up with what I assume is wild vibrato in the kid's attempt to find a note makes the already unlistenable simply brutal.
Lesson: Some things even autotune can't fix.
To be fair to Antares, I think they used some other pitch correction program, because I haven't heard autotune proper track that poorly since that kid was in diapers. No, not last week. I mean regular size diapers.
Teabagger playing a Yamaha piano? Mmmmm, Yamaha closed their Thomaston, GA in 2007 & to the best of my knowledge & quick Google are no longer manufactured in the US. Should a for realz patriot give a shit about US jobs, other than the usual sexting jobs?
Does anyone else keep seeing Darth Vader instead of George Washington at the beginning?
Well, that puts to lie the old expression that music hath charms to soothe the savage breast. My breasts are ready to reach up and smack me in the head for clicking on the damn arrow.
Next time, listen to your boobs. They speak wisdom. In dialog, even.
Just reading comparisons to Beiber/Cyrus, I'd rather pull all of my fingernails out and insert them one after the other into my dick hole than listen or watch this.
Somebody give this Turd Newton something to cry about.
And twenty years down the line, you WILL be taunted by your own children.
And your children will be taunted by their friends when your video gets circulated around their school.
Who's the nitwit standing on Alexander Hamilton's head?
They should have had him hanging out of Jefferson's nose, then dropping gingerly into God's red-white-and-blue Tissue of America®.
That's Theodore Roosevelt — and he's not nice when he's angry.
I want to see the Hulkster kick this kid's ass
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAU3iINiLCE
Does he like movies about gladiators?
He's "dying for America"? Just wait seven or eight years and he can make that a reality, as I'm sure we'll have some middle eastern wars brewing.
Brewing? The current wars won't be over with that soon.
And I always thought that youngest brother on Malcolm in the Middle was cool, even though he looked like he had one chromosome too many. Not now.
gifted musician with the talent and charisma….
Obviously written by someone who doesn't know the meaning of any of those words.
The Jesus halo thingy effect was a nice touch, though.
From Youtube comments:
New Rule: If you are going to ruin your son's future with homeschooling, at least let him leave the house to get a decent haircut first.
Downfister ahoy!!
He/she's one of my followers now. Yay!
Here are your lyrics — or post-American modern poetry — as we call it:
"To take my dreams from here to there
Or will the fabric finally tear"
Hmmm. He wants to be a seamstress????
You know the first time I heard the Birth of Cool by Miles Davis I was blown away…..This kid just plain blows. His lyrics make Gorkey Park look like Chuck D.
Whole lotta spreading going on.
Fuck GarageBand. Also iMovie.
"Sodomy" from Hair, maybe?
When I first saw that in 1967, I was young enough and naive enough to need to look up a few of the words.
Hey he's got a crappy website! http://www.koryshore.com/
Be nice.
Isn't there like, I don't know, a musicians' union to keep him from recording? Fucking DAT lets any slob make a demo now a days.
At least the PRS guitar appears to be home-grown. Spendy, but home-grown.
PRS? Yeah. Mommy and Daddy must have money or it's a stock photo. At that age I was banging on guitar of unknown origin that was impossible to tune, had a tremdous buzzing sound when it wasn't squealing and the strings were at least 2 inches from the neck at the 12th fret. I have suffered.
For me it was a used Silvertone acoustic, but still plunkin' after all these years.
Just remember that Ashcroft, who lost a Senate election to a dead man, at least had the guts, while practically on his deathbed, to tell Gonzo to go pound sand, he (A'croft) wasn't going to sign that piece of paper 'Berto was waving in front of him to reauthorize Chimpy's unlawful trampling of the 4th Amendment.
You do wonder where he got the idea he could sing, though.
Let fascism roar
Cause we deserve it even more
Than Newt or whatever Nazi whore
Fox is cramming down our drawers.
From rocky road to throbbing arse
Republicans are such a farce
With nowhere left to hide
Get out the cyanide
A-mer-i-ca has run it's course
The GOP has many fans
So we'll be eating out of cans
And I don't mean Rentboy's ass.
"I'm crying for America, I'm dying for America" Shame will do that to you.
"where did all the great men go"? Mark Foley would like to show you…
Incidentally, there are the obligatory spelling errors on the lyrics page: http://www.reverbnation.com/artist/song_details/7…
Wait … What? Did Justin Bieber have Michele Bachmann's baby?
Worst "It Gets Better" video. Evar.
"I'm not too young to understand. But I am just old enough to serve as a mouthpiece for my batshit fucktard parents' right-wing lunacy that I've been spoon-fed every day in between church services."
I'm crying for America, too. Probably for very different reasons than this young man.
The profound insights of a tween, set to music no less. Something that the imbeciles with sub-90 IQs can lap up. Why isn't he on American Idol?
Somehow I suspect that these insights didn't originate with the tween.
This is number one with a bullet on Mark Foley's ipod list.
What I see: Justin Bieber
What I hear: Dear Mr. Jesus
What I throw up: Spicy chicken salad with no italian vinaigrette
Are you the boss of me? Really! Is this my boss?
(I found the lyrics on the internets. If I had tried to transcribe from the video I would have clawed my eyes and ears out after the first "soar again".)
He has a promising career in Christian rock…..Jesus Jesus spray your love on me…
Ew. And Christian rock is pretty lucrative, but as a certain young lady realized it's more lucrative to start singing generic but catchy sexualized pop while showing off your cleavage and filming videos in skimpy outfits.
Cary Grant did it better.
Me too, kid, but the tears on my cheeks are from laughter.
Me too. And who knew I could bend like that?
Also Mark Foley is really rattling that corner table at Starbucks right now.
Was he even alive when America was great? Wait a second……was I even alive the last time America was great? Even okay-ish?
That kind of crime against a viola should not go unpunished.
Don't know I would call it an anthem or anything, but I really hope this kid is Catholic, so I can root for the buggering priests without that nagging sense of guilt.
hey kid!! if you want to see your future soar and take flight back into the sky again you should think about moving to china.
Do we now have to rename our monument Mount Douchemore?
gone to young boys, every one
when will they ever learn?
I feel so sorry for this poor, beleaguered, home-schooled white male child living in upper-middle class surburbia. Truly he knows the pain of oppression.
It's the pain of growing knowing that people of his race and gender no longer have quite as many unearned advantages in life as we used to.
Hey downfister! Nice to see you again! All this talk of effeminite boys got your panties in a wad?
No, but seeing the nubile 14-year-old left a different wad in his panties.
"I'm dying for America."
Capital idea! Time to don the boots-n-utes, princess. Pack yer bags for Crapistan!
Shit, it's better than the new Coldplay album.
I got my downfisting cherry popped! SCORE!
Jump, not-Bieber, jump! Bieber can jump, too, really.
Boy oing!
I was waiting in the Rite Aid a few days back and Lee Greenwood came on over the Muzak. And several of the creepy Tulane Greek-types started singing along! FUCK ME! There is no hope for the youth of today!
"I'm dyin' for America"
So, the kid has plans to be a suicide bomber?
Nobody stands on TR's head.
That poor kid. I hope he knows a good catholic priest that can console him through his anxiety issues.
What the fuck is with conservatives and fake ficus trees?
Racist pundit kid: it's your move.
That should be iPecac.
Brilliant!
instead of "… out of luck.", a more poetic rhyming would have been "We are Fucked!"
YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO DIE FOR AMERICA!
Perhaps this kid could guest star on Gilligan's Island. I'm sure he is the home-schooled apple of his parents eye. eyes?
Kickin' on the Lincoln head/ Sittin' on the Washington head/ Gotta make my mind up/ Which head can I take?
Nope, no less intolerable that way.
Here's one.
You can cry for America, kid, but I cry for your future sex life.
I'd like to comment but then my p-ness would be exposed.
Then the troll would start playing with my p-ness and I hate it when it does that.
So…. I just won't comment until it has had it's daily fill of p-ness knavery.
Christian rock has sure gotten creepy. Where's Pedobear when we need him?
He's like a white trash, no-talent Justin Bieber. Oh, wait…
Where's the bullies when you need them?
You don't have to worry about "Where have all the gray men gone," kiddo, you're poorly-lit enough to be a statue.
Well…Katy Perry started out as a Christian singer so maybe….oh noes
Cute kid. He has about the same odds for a full life as Michael Fucking Jackson did.
Where DID all the grey men go???????
Also this video is quite good when muted. And by good I mean hilariously awful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omx7u0ZWUAY
Apparently that is the song that qualifies his dad as a "Top 10 Producer."
When Twilight & Wingtards collide.
Tiger Lillies – Gin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xCGz8rc-HY
His Liberty is in danger as he sits behind a grand piano in his McMansion. I'm crying tears of sorrow for you kid, but it's not for the reason you think. You overprivilliaged libertarian fuckwit.
Comments on this entry are closed.