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Those eyes! What a dark, dark chasm!Media Matters apparently does not get bored sitting around all day finding evidence of Fox News slanting their coverage, even though that story has been pretty much cracked by now. Still, this is somewhat new? They have audio of Fox managing editor Bill Sammon, on a cruise ship, of course, talking about the leading journalism teevee channel’s groundbreaking, round-the-clock coverage of Barack Obama’s nonexistent socialism, revealing a bit too much. “At that time, I have to admit, that I went on TV on Fox News and publicly engaged in what I guess was some rather mischievous speculation about whether Barack Obama really advocated socialism, a premise that privately I found rather far-fetched,” he said. Yeah, but don’t we all have to constantly breach our ethics in our job? Isn’t that what it means to work in America? This Simmons guy should just shut up and make himself believe the things that aren’t true. It makes things easier.

“CRUISE SHIP CONFESSION.” Lolz. What can you say? Media Matters people are also just putting in the effort to do what they’re supposed to do to get paid. Capitalism! Work! The copier needs toner!

Here’s a little taste of what Simmons had to do for his job (his job was lying to half the country):

On October 21, 2008, Sammon appeared on Greta Van Susteren’s show, where he referred to Bill Ayers “talking about being a Marxist.” Sammon then said, “I have read Barack Obama’s books pretty carefully, and he in his own words talks about being drawn to Marxists. … Now all this stuff’s coming out about whether he’s a socialist. I don’t know why anyone is surprised by it, because if you read his own words and his sort of, you know, orientation coming up as a liberal through college and as a young man, it’s not a huge shock.”

REALLY PHONING IT IN. C’mon, Sammon, look lively! It’s almost like you lost your soul or something. [Media Matters]

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  • Redhead

    I'll bet he never believed Obama was a Facist or a Communist or a Nazi, either.

    Why, he may have not even believed Obama was a *gasp* KENYAN. Or a Muslim.

    • jeezycreezy77

      If we learned anything from George Costanza, "It's not a lie, if you believe it."

  • chascates

    An honest person at Fox?

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    Can't lose what you never had.

  • loulouroo

    LOST? That would imply he ever had a soul. Not so sure about that. He has Mrs. Newt's vacant eyes.

  • Schmannnity

    Fox News: We peddle bullshit, you decide.

    • DaRooster

      Fox News: We PIDDLE bullshit, you decide.

  • baconzgood

    (GASP!!!!!) Faux Noose Lies????? My entire perception of reality is shattered. BUT THEY ARE "FAIR" and "BALENCED". "THEY" "REPORT" AND LET "(ME)" "DECIDE"!

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    We report, you decide… what we've already decided for you!

    • baconzgood

      The Lies go in lies go out! You can't explain it!

      (and yes I know I used that one on the last post, so suck it)

      • BerkeleyBear

        Never an (unintentional) miscommunication!

  • Callyson

    “I have watched Bill Sammon's shows pretty carefully, and he in his own words talks about being drawn to Republicans. … Now all this stuff’s coming out about whether he’s a liar. I don’t know why anyone is surprised by it, because if you read his own words and his sort of, you know, orientation coming up as a conservative through college and as a young man, it’s not a huge shock.”

  • MittsHairHelmet

    "don’t we all have to constantly breach our ethics in our job?"

    Ethics are obsolete. Republicans understand this.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Hey, I gave up ethics for the 2½ years I worked at Hell-Mart, and that was for a LOT less.

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    …some rather mischievous speculation…

    That adorable scamp, impishly undermining the notion that the press should try to be honest and factual! So mischievous!

    • anniegetyerfun

      Dontcha just wanna give him a noogie? Such a card!

  • RedneckMuslin

    What? Obama's not a socialist? Well, that's no fun.

    • DownFist Troll

      Well, at least he's still a foreign born mooslamic atheist.

  • Troubledog

    "Ethics are situational."
    – the Jesuits

    • riverside68

      Fuck the Indians, no I mean literally fuck them, while in the church.
      It's not a metaphor in the Pacific NW.

  • Badonkadonkette

    Heavily, selectively, and misleadingly edited video surreptitiously recorded under false pretenses or GTFO.

  • Is this Sammon trying to swim upstream at Faux?

    Nah, he's a carp like all the rest, and he'll be back with the socialist, Marxist, Leninist, Kenyan, where is the fucking birth certificate in 3, 2, 1…

    • BerkeleyBear

      He went there already. In the very next part of the same speech, claiming the bailout of GM justified his prior mischief.

      Don't ask me how giving a reach-around to capitalism proves you are a socialist. I don't have a chalk board that big.

  • SexySmurf

    And this is why we need to defund NPR.

    • fuflans

      my boy is pretty sure he heard some 'morning edition' reporter say 'teaBAGGER' this AM.

      if he's right, you know there's going to be hell to pay. but it'd be worth it…

    • zhubajie

      Go to BBC World Service, etc

  • Beowoof

    Fox news pushes their agenda of acting like an asshole and telling the teabaggers and others it is okay to be an asshole. The surprising part is that one them actually feels bad about his behavior, the rest of them surely don't.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Nope, he doesn't feel anything other than vindicated (ie the ratings are really good when they scare the oldz about the brown guy in the White House).

    • SorosBot

      He doesn't really seem to feel bad at all in that quote; he admitted lying, but seems to think there's nothing wrong with it.

  • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

    Hasn't he already reneged on that statement and announced that Barry is after all a socialist? Looks like a reneger to me.

  • prommie

    This isn't so much an "admission" as it is "bragging."

  • MildMidwesterner

    How many dildos and bottles of lube were on that cruise ship?

    • nounverb911

      All of them, Katie.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Wonder if they needed a T square to wedge 'em all in.

  • Not_So_Much

    Best not to think about all the naked spankings he's going to have to take from over Roger Ailes' dimpled, greasy knees because of this.

  • prommie

    In the end, this is nowhere near as important as whats coming up in 9 days, of course.

    • nounverb911

      The first Yankees-Red Sox series of the year?

    • RedneckMuslin

      Lady Gaga performing at the Toyota Center?

    • Crank_Tango

      Hitler?

      • prommie

        Shhh. Keep it under your hat.

    • jus_wonderin

      National Free Abortion Day? I always enjoy the parades and the picnic.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Jesus?

    • GOPCrusher

      Carrot Top?

  • baconzgood

    Man-O-man. What a passive aggressive way of explaining it.

    It wasn't a lie it was "mischievous speculation" and he didn't spout propaganda he "privately found (it) rather far-fetched".

    • Crank_Tango

      I think I will go down to the store and "mischievously misappropriate" a new imac. Not steal.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Bernie Madoff was just "mischievously speculating".

  • smokefilledroommate

    …and then Sammon goes on to cite specific reasons like "massive transfers of wealth" and "sweeping regulation of the finance industry" which makes America's leaning toward socialism seem "all too real".

    • MarshallBanana

      Oh yeah. Big time. I'm drowning in transferred wealth, right here. I've received so much transferred wealth I just don't know what to do with it.

      SO MUCH.

  • freakishlywrong

    You could play that tape, they could read(?) the story, hell, Fux could report it on it's own stupid shows and the mouth breathers that think that shit is news won't budge an inch, and still want their fucking country back.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Shorter Sammon: I never actually believed all the shit I peddled, except for the stuff about Obama being a n***er.

    • Crank_Tango

      and yet even on that point they don't want to give him "credit" for that–he's only half, you know. Doesn't even count. I am sure he could hail a cab in NYC or walk around a dallas mall with his pants hanging down and not get tasered, he's so white.

      • jus_wonderin

        Hey, hey, I will speak for Dallas. We like to tase anything slightly darker than beige. We have a fan chart in our other holster.

  • Blendergoathead

    Hopefully he admitted it only because he has terminal ass cancer and will die soon, so we can spraypaint his confession on his tombstone (or with urine, either works).

    IOW, fuck him.

  • WilliamHTaft

    But what about that story about B Hussein Obama turning all our sacred Burlington Coat Factories into mosks? Surely that was true.

  • It's like the time I mischievously suggested Sarah Palin™ was called barracuda because of her insatiable sexual appetite. Or the time I mischievously suggested George W. Bush is stupid.

  • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

    License to rage?

    • ALIVE!

      Long-term rentboy?

  • PeaceWithHonor

    In other news: Satan is Evil

  • Hatrabbit

    "Mommy, what happens to my body when my soul leaves?"

    "It becomes a Fox News Exec, honey."

    " … Hold me, Mommy."

    • DashboardBuddha

      Mommy…can't I just go to hell?

  • SayItWithWookies

    So which one of our brave Democratic senators is going to step up now and conduct an investigation into FOX News' propagation of ignorance and evil? Anyone? Hello? Maybe someone feels slightly guilty about voting to defund ACORN based on heavily-edited videos and without so much as a hearing or waiting for the results of an investigation and would like to do a good turn to compensate? Still waiting here…

  • Oblios_Cap

    If they are using Socialist to mean "a corporate hack who generally ends up supporting GOP policies", well then, yes, Obama is a raging Socialist.

  • chicken_thief

    "cruise ship"? Or the James O'Queef dildo laden party boat?

    • poncho_pilot

      cruising ship.

  • prommie

    On the other hand, it was pure gospel truth when Fox reported that the Kenyan usurper who stole the election with fraudulent Acorn votes and using black panthers to intimidate whites at the polls is an anti-colonialist who plans to give Amurrica back to the savage redskin indians, and kill your parents with roving death-panel squads.

    • freakishlywrong

      I laughed when I first read that. Then I thought, "Holy fuck!"

    • jus_wonderin

      "and kill your parents with roving death-panel squads."

      I hear they plan to use Amtrak.

      • GOPCrusher

        And broadcast the carnage on PBS.

  • Slim_Pickins

    Lincoln characterized the Fox News viewers as "Some of the people."

  • Ducksworthy

    Name calling evidently has a profound effect on our Barry. Look what you made him do, you meanies.

  • Ducksworthy

    Name calling has a profound effect on our boy Barry. Look what you made him do you FUX meanies. And who knew the country was so susceptible to lies repeated over and over very loud.

  • nicnack74

    Media Matters does what James O’Keefe wishes he could do with more credibility. But seriously, how is this guy still employeed? Isn’t this a breach of professional ethics? Or if you just work at Fox, the slogan is “Fuck it, everyone knows we’re partisan hackery anyway”?

  • Ducksworthy

    But is Roger Ailes the reincarnation of Joe Goebbels?

    • DashboardBuddha

      Inside every fat network owner is a skinny nazi propagandist trying to get out.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Is that why James Earl Jones did the station id for CNN?

  • poncho_pilot

    whatever. when you give in because it's easier to let someone fuck you over then to fight them–that's one thing. but it's too much to take when the person who has fucked you over wants you to like them afterwards or like them for how they fucked you over.

  • The_Great_Gazoo

    When I publicly engage in some rather mischievous speculation about Bill Sammon, I do not find the premise that he is a douchebag to be in any way far-fetched.

  • Jack, regards yer alt text, he does kinda look like Gollum in a coat and tie.

    • I swear I killed something that looked like him in World of Warcraft last night.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Someone should do a study about what second language Fox talking heads actually speak. Their definitions of the words they use can't be found in any english dictionary.

    On top of that, they then combine words randomly to make something sound bad. Obama is a "Marxist Nazi". The fact that nothing like that could ever exist doesn't stop their teatard cheerleaders from repeating (and misspelling) it all every chance they get.

  • JoshuaNorton

    mischievous speculation – agitprop.

    Potato – potahto.

    • BornInATrailer

      Let's call the whole thing off..

      (please)

  • genxr

    That guy is a socialist.

  • proudgrampa

    Every time I read another one of these FUX items, I just don't know whether to be sad or angry. So i just make myself another Sapphire martini.

    "I'll have a drink. Then I'll decide."

  • Zombie_Reagan

    Faux News intentionally lies to further an obvious right-wing agenda?

    In other news, water is wet.

  • Gopherit

    Yawn. Call me when they admit they are a wing of the RNC. Even then, that will only rate a golf clap.

  • bflrtsplk

    If you can't believe that Faux News believes what they want you to believe, well, then… oh I give up.

  • Moonbatting Average

    That cruise needed more Somali pirates

  • metamarcisf

    Headline of the day: "Bryan Fischer: What Part of 'Killer Whale' Does Sea World Not Understand?"

    • Negropolis

      Tell me you're joking.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Great. Just great. What other part of my world view do you need to shit on today, Wonkette. Are you going to tell me that Obama is not the secret clone of Malcolm X, raised in Kenya by the Red Chinese to bring Unionism to the United States.

    I just don't know what to believe any more. <sob>.

    • Negropolis

      That's the beauty of Obama. As he said, himself, in his books, he's a blank slate. And, he'll do nothing to correct your perception of him. You don't have to choose, man. He can be your Negro Jesus or your Indo-Malay-Kenyan Auntie-Christ.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    People with Judeo-Christian values watch their programs.

  • hagajim

    Sammon swimming upstream in his Santorum! Actually all of these fucks at Fox don't believe half the shit they spew, they just know it pays well so they spew it.

  • MinAgain

    He didn't lose his soul; he sold it. And for a profit, I would imagine.

  • fredbell

    This reflects poorly on Fox News…They will lose credibility because of this…

  • littlebigdaddy

    Cold, dead eyes of a killer, as always.

  • emmelemm

    Me too.

  • GOPCrusher

    And yet, some lonely Wingnut will post a comment on some message board tonight about how only Faux Noise viewers know the Real Truth, and everyone else are sheeple.

  • ttommyunger

    I'm giving this shmuck a pass because he has a seriously ill child and he probably really needs his job, big-time. There but for the grace of God, go I.

    • Negropolis

      If he has a seriously ill child, you'd think he'd have taken the time to review his life and be the best example he could for said child. If anything, knowing his situation makes me even less symapthetic of him. If this man has the mercy of God Almighty, he certainly doesn't need any of mine…

      • ttommyunger

        I have the mercy of God, I have three healthy children and grandchildren. I said nothing of his relationship with an Almighty. His child suffers from a congenital condition. Sammon is a prick and a lying asshole and I wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire; I'm only saying a part of me can understand that he may be under pressures that I've been spared and I can almost understand why he would jump through certain hoops to meet the needs of his family. I have a soft spot in my heart for the parents of special need children. Palin is an exception because the cunt actually uses her retarded child in photo ops and as a selling point for her particular brand of snake oil.

  • Negropolis

    Someone get this guy an eye wrangler, stat! One of those puppies is trying to escape the native habitat that is that man's face.

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