Sarah Palin: Is Libya a War Or Is It a ‘Squirmish’?

by Jack Stuef


Why is nobody talking about this? According to leading military scientist Dr. Sarah Palin, this conflict could very well be a squirmish, which just sounds awful. Actual, no, that sounds rather cute. Can we buy it for the kids this summer and set it up in the backyard?

Also: We knew there was something unnerving about Obama starting to employ this “North Star” metaphor in speeches this year. It turns out it’s the sort of thing Sarah Palin likes. Yeah. Not only does Obama have an unpopular, never-ending new squirmish on his hands, he’s starting to talk like Lou Sarah. This is a very serious situation and may end up sinking his presidency. [Crooks and Liars via Wonkette operative "Melissa"]

 
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{ 286 comments }

nounverb911 March 29, 2011 at 4:09 pm

I'm squeamish when it comes to watching Palin butcher the English language.

Beowoof March 29, 2011 at 5:12 pm

As most people capable of rationale thought are when the SnowSnooki of the North speaks.

kissawookiee March 29, 2011 at 5:23 pm

By focusing on pronunciation over substance, you're just squirting the issue.

LocalGirlMakesGoo March 30, 2011 at 10:00 am

Hahaha!

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 29, 2011 at 7:56 pm

I am flustrated about that, too. These johnny-come-lightlies just don't get it. They don't understand how our northern load star provides us with a true moral compast.

KenLayIsAlive March 29, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Sarah is following her moral compost.

kdnyc March 30, 2011 at 9:40 am

The current squirmish in Libya is Obama's way of refudiating Qaddafi. The English language constantly evolves. Maybe it's you libs aren't keeping up with it. It's like snarky people like you are the AP Stylebook and Palin's the OED. LOL!

MittsHairHelmet March 29, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Isn't Squirmish one of the Pokemons?

教授 Zoom March 29, 2011 at 4:23 pm

It's how ladyparts feel after a pee-kachoo.

Boojum_Reborn March 29, 2011 at 7:15 pm

It's what happens when you stick your finger up the North Star.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] March 29, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Yeah. I think it evolves into a Quagmire.

GOPCrusher March 29, 2011 at 5:07 pm

I thought Squirmish was the town they filmed Twin Peaks in.

教授 Zoom March 29, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Palin / Log Lady 2012!

Flat_Earther March 29, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Sqirmish is a wizard from the Harry Potter series.

trampndirtdown March 29, 2011 at 11:15 pm

Squirmish was a Squab not a Wozard, if you're going to talk about Harvey Porter get it right! Stupid miggle.

MiniMencken March 29, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Funny, I always thought Lou Sarah looked Squirmish.

nounverb911 March 29, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Aren't those the chosen people?

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 29, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Funny, you don't look squirmish. ("Ein squirmische maydele"?)

Moonbatting Average March 29, 2011 at 4:09 pm

No, Sarah, it's actually a kind of practice-war, a squimmage, if you will

horsedreamer_1 March 29, 2011 at 4:22 pm

After which, we fwee Wodewick.

LionHeartSoyDog March 30, 2011 at 1:40 am

Rather have a squimmage than a squamous.

FNMA March 29, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Actually, it's a "squeamish," which is how I feel when I hear her bleating.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 29, 2011 at 4:10 pm

I once dated a girl who was a real squirmish. Best relationship I ever had.

Edit: Strangely enough, Google Spell Checker doesn't know squirmish. Further proof of Google's Left leanings, or that they need to develop a Palin Plug-in?

FNMA March 29, 2011 at 4:11 pm

I think I know her. Did you have to wash the sheets a lot too?

mayor_quimby March 29, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I know her too, she gets around. Totally ruined my mattress, the plastic sheets did fuck-all to prevent the mess.

教授 Zoom March 29, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Only an idiot would plug in to a Palin. As copious evidence attests.

Rotundo_ March 29, 2011 at 5:04 pm

You have to go to Google Translate and get a Dumbass-English translator for $arahspeak.

Beowoof March 29, 2011 at 5:14 pm

I believe that is the deciphering doofus add on for Firefox.

Gleem_McShineys March 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Could they just develop a Palin Plug?
You know, to cork them.

Important Spec: Has to fit both pie- and skank-holes.

Not_So_Much March 29, 2011 at 6:03 pm

I thought squirmish only referred to what one did with teh buttsecks — inserting the penis in another man's rectum and squirming around in excrement?

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 29, 2011 at 8:01 pm

…resulting in a frothy, squirmish mixture….

PublicLuxury March 29, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Squirmish is the Pac-Man red ghost, I think.

hagajim March 29, 2011 at 4:10 pm

I like it when my chick gets all squirmish on me!

PublicLuxury March 29, 2011 at 4:11 pm

When the husb and I had a skirmish I got squirmish-y

Jerri March 29, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Sarah makes my intestines squirmish.

Chillwaver March 29, 2011 at 4:12 pm

I don't think she knows the difference between Labia and Libya.

baconzgood March 29, 2011 at 4:21 pm

I do know if you invade one with no pretense, afterward she has to pay for the kit herself in Alaska. The other, even if the U.N sais no it doesn't matter. But, I don't remember which is which.

ph7 March 29, 2011 at 4:23 pm

One is controlled by a reviled egomaniacal terrorist. The other is controlled by Gadaffi.

riverside68 March 29, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Playing with one without consent will get you extradited to Sweden.
The other not so much

Chet Kincaid March 29, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Yes she does! She saw "Sex And The City II", and the one girl quipped, "He's the Lawrence of my Labia", so obvs that's the name of the cuntry. Let's not squirmish about it!

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 29, 2011 at 8:04 pm

She strongly supports Women's Libya.

nounverb911 March 29, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Squirmish, is that Alaskan for pregnant?

Boredw/Gravitas March 29, 2011 at 4:21 pm

No, but that's how it starts.

Flat_Earther March 29, 2011 at 7:37 pm

I thought it was Alaskan for 'my daughter is upstair probablying F'ing a guy from school and she may be pregnant'. No, I'm sorry that's a Bristol.

freddymcmurray March 29, 2011 at 7:54 pm

No, that's spermish.

The_Great_Gazoo March 30, 2011 at 12:00 am

Is pregnant an adjective? Just asking so I will know that, if so, squirmish is not only a noun and a verb, but also an adjective. And a grammatical trifecta such as that really packs some weight.

教授 Zoom March 30, 2011 at 12:39 am

How is babby formed? How girl get squirmish?

Gopherit March 29, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Sure, Sarah. Start this crap again right AFTER the revised Oxford English Dictionary goes to print. You have to be faster. You are misunderesimating their abilities, and i am here to refudiate you for it.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 29, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Squirmish is the sound of someone stomping on the English language.

ChessieNefercat March 30, 2011 at 7:57 am

Or what the English language does while trying not to fall out of Sarah Palin's mouth?

edgydrifter March 29, 2011 at 4:15 pm

I think she's describing what Todd feels when he rattles his spawn wand around her greasy birth canyon.

Moonbatting Average March 29, 2011 at 4:19 pm

This caused me simultaneous attacks of giggling and nausea. Squirmishness, I think it's called

DashboardBuddha March 29, 2011 at 4:37 pm

"greasy birth canyon"

The name of my new band

elviouslyqueer March 29, 2011 at 4:40 pm

ALL HAIL SPAWN WAND!

horsedreamer_1 March 29, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Is that a side-project of The Sword? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sword

Jim89048 March 29, 2011 at 5:58 pm
tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:33 pm

"greasy birth canyon"

Anybody's would be greasy if they used whale blubber for lube.

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 29, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Comes from Loobya, right?

教授 Zoom March 30, 2011 at 12:37 am

Oh, I just love that Squeamy Todd.

Negropolis March 30, 2011 at 3:11 am

And, the verb to use ones' "spawn wand" is " spwn'd.

philpjfry March 29, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Let's ask her opinion on the sun coming up in the morning. I hear Obama's for it which means she gets squirmish and afraid every dawn. Aragont no nothing evil bitch. As if it matters what we call it.

smokefilledroommate March 29, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Quaddafi Quisticuffs!

aguacatero March 29, 2011 at 4:15 pm

I know this is a bit off topic (Sarah), but:

Gretta van Susteren is really nauseating.

aqua_buddha March 29, 2011 at 4:29 pm

If you squint, she's looks like a squirrel.
A gigantic ferocious squirrel.
S'quite a sight.

KenLayIsAlive March 29, 2011 at 10:02 pm

And this is post-plastic surgery. Before it, she looked like a squirrel caught in a crinkled plastic bag.

LocalGirlMakesGoo March 30, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Did she have a stroke? Did she used to be a man? Why does her face make me cry?

KenLayIsAlive March 30, 2011 at 8:12 pm

There is something about her face that says "I had the world's first nearly successful face transplant".

V572del c:/*.* y/n? March 29, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Saw Gertie @DCA once, pre-surgery. She's a tiny little sprite with glowing bleached hair.

That doesn't mean anything. But there it is.

horsedreamer_1 March 29, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Between her & Willem Dafoe, Appleton really took it on the chin/face.

ShaveTheWhales March 30, 2011 at 3:51 am

Well, there's Houdini.

hagajim March 29, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Is Susteren the female form of Santorum?

Mumbletypeg March 29, 2011 at 5:56 pm

"Gretta van Susteren is really nauseating"

Then they're well-matched. Anyway Todd, I take it, does not find Susteren's deficiencies insquirmountable.

Jim89048 March 29, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Since we're all celebrating somethingsomething, I like to call her queefish.

LionHeartSoyDog March 30, 2011 at 1:59 am

Grotto van Cistern, also.

FoxyO_Wiley March 30, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Oh how I long for the Gretta of the OJ days…she was fantastically squirmish back then, but now only makes me hurt.

SexySmurf March 29, 2011 at 4:16 pm

I refudiate this squirmish.

Grief_Lessons March 29, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Other things the Libya conflict may be: engragement, fraycas, imbruglia, flustercluck.

horsedreamer_1 March 29, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Her delusions of grandeur never turned into something real, either. Other than cold, hard cash. Too bad she blew it on her oldest daughter's cat-house.

Grief_Lessons March 29, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Cold and shamed, lying naked on the floor. Get up, put on some clothes fer chrissakes.

V572del c:/*.* y/n? March 29, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Remember that singer Natalie Imbruglia a few years beack? Kinda cute.

SorosBot March 29, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Sarah's voice always does make me feel quite squirmish.

anniegetyerfun March 29, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Sarah talks like a novelty t-shirt with a slogan about being drunk. "I swear I'm sober, ociffer!"

riverside68 March 29, 2011 at 5:40 pm

you mother sticker this is a fuck up
give me your brains or I'll blow your money out

Chet Kincaid March 29, 2011 at 8:01 pm

George Clinton would like to use those lyrics on a Funkadelic album in 1973.

riverside68 March 29, 2011 at 9:08 pm

He's welcome to them, dime a dozen is the price I believe
I'm loaded and this gun's not afraid to use me.

smokefilledroommate March 29, 2011 at 11:49 pm

[Palin's] Maggot Brain.

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Honess, ossifer, NOBODY wuz drivin! We wuz all in tha back, singin!

BarryOPotter March 29, 2011 at 4:17 pm

that sounds rather cute

Sounds squishy, or enmoistenedly glisterning…

Ducksworthy March 29, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Isn't a squirmish the act of having tentacle sex?

baconzgood March 29, 2011 at 4:18 pm

SQUIRM LIBEL!!!!!!!!!

memzilla March 29, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Squirmish (adj): referring to small bushy-tailed rodents in Pennsylvania Dutch country who eschew electricity and zippers.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 29, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Can everyone now agree that $arah Palin should be left on an ice flow or something? For the good of the Nation?

Radiotherapy March 29, 2011 at 6:01 pm

She could navigate her way out using Trig and the North Star

Dances_For_Ham March 29, 2011 at 6:53 pm

I continue to hope and pray a freight train will drop on Ms. Palin. Always have, always will. There…. I said it.

NorthStarSpanx March 29, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Not with the fucking climate change Lionel, there are no floes left to spare unless she snipers the last of the Polar Bears.

教授 Zoom March 30, 2011 at 12:31 am

Snowbilly issues an ice flow every 28 days.

102415 March 31, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Yes, for the good of the nation and the good of the world.

教授 Zoom March 29, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I'm looking to that new romantic comedy, Squirmish in Snohomish

nounverb911 March 29, 2011 at 4:25 pm

How about Squirmishing Snobillies in Snoqualmie?

教授 Zoom March 29, 2011 at 4:27 pm

On SnoMachines.

anniegetyerfun March 29, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Sammamish, Sequim, and Skykomish want in on that action.

GeneralLerong March 30, 2011 at 12:22 am

But Suquamish rulz

DashboardBuddha March 29, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Squirmish is how she describes sex with Todd. He doesn't so much penetrate as squirm around, thus squirmish.

教授 Zoom March 29, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Squirming around in excwement.

Rotundo_ March 29, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Sort of like the salmon do it, only you don't die right away, you just wish you could, eternally..

[redacted]hse March 29, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Cuz his dick looks exactly like a 6 oz.tuna can sitting on the counter.
Trust me.

DashboardBuddha March 29, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Awww, man. I like tuna. Liked tuna.

tessiee March 30, 2011 at 12:56 pm

So then, can we call him Tuna Can Todd?

ProgressiveInga March 29, 2011 at 4:23 pm

She's retarded-ish.

baconzgood March 29, 2011 at 4:35 pm

No "ish" about it!

SayItWithWookies March 29, 2011 at 4:24 pm

You know, Philosopher-Queen Sarah Palin is really onto something here — the reason Americans don't like war is that the terms aren't cute enough. We should really have a De-Miniaturized Zone between the belly-giants to cease hospitilities, otherwise we'll end up with a messacre with lots of collie-lateral damage.

Ducksworthy March 29, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Oh not you don't Jack. Not again. I know what's behind that play arrow and I'm not clicking on the clicky to hear the spoutings off the gibberish grifter.

CrankyLttlCamperette March 29, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Hookworms make you squirmish…

OkieDokieDog March 29, 2011 at 4:33 pm

I was thinking pinworms, but hookworms are probably squirmish too.

horsedreamer_1 March 29, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Is that a wig? Extensions?

problemwithcaring March 29, 2011 at 4:31 pm
jaegermeister March 29, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Squank.

FNMA March 29, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Squunt.

Which I think is an Inuit word for something — quitter governor or snowbilly grifter…something like that

aqua_buddha March 29, 2011 at 4:26 pm

*Skwinkies* on that, oh you bet.

ManchuCandidate March 29, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Oh you people are so cruel to Sarah.

She was talking about her favorite dish. Squirrel Mush.

nounverb911 March 29, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Did she get the recipe from Huckabee?

baconzgood March 29, 2011 at 4:28 pm

In the spirit of Sarah I'm making up my own word

Palin-drone: adj./adv./ verb- to vacuously drone on and on without making a lick of sense.

GeneralLerong March 30, 2011 at 12:27 am

Beauty! "a word salad of palindrones" – sounds pretty creepy!

Let's discuss recipe possibilities: Some bitter greens with alphabet noodles , somother in… smothered in….uhnnn, never mind.

I never eat salad anymore anyway, certainly not in a restaurant.

PocketsTheClown March 29, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Lets start a campaign of mailing her dictionaries.

教授 Zoom March 29, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Far too expensive. Let's just sign up all of her twitter followers for the Dictionary.com feed

Thurman Munster IV March 29, 2011 at 4:28 pm

It's more of a chocoholocaust because of our dark president. T

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:38 pm

A near disaster?

Ducksworthy March 29, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Squirmish-The act of wriggling around in fecal matter (see also santorum)

GOPCrusher March 29, 2011 at 5:17 pm

You kids and your new lingo.

problemwithcaring March 29, 2011 at 4:32 pm

"I was for the no-fly zone, before I was against it. But I am not really against it. Or something."

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:11 pm

But the President should stop dithering?

imissopus March 29, 2011 at 4:32 pm

I know it's pretty much rhetorical to ask this whenever Sustern is blowing a Palin like that, but still, what the FUCK are you two nitwits yammering about?

Thurman Munster IV March 29, 2011 at 5:18 pm

…what the FUCK are you two nitwits yammering about? A beautifully turned phrase indeed. Thank you.

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:12 pm

"…what the FUCK are you two nitwits yammering about?"

Always with the gotcha questions!

KeepFnThatChicken March 29, 2011 at 4:32 pm

She's describing squamish, which requires 43 men. Someone get a frullip and jerk her out of there.

comrad_darkness March 29, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Don't you mean Squamish, BC? Being as it is just north of Vancouver, Sarah could see it from her house.

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Vintage MAD FTW!!

教授 Zoom March 29, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Potrzebie. Furshlugginer. Glitch.

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Ga-schlork!

教授 Zoom March 30, 2011 at 12:35 am

Fonebone. Popf-frack-sproing-GING!

donner_froh March 29, 2011 at 4:33 pm

It is possible to mispronounce a word while on live TV. The best way to deal with it is to not deal with it since those listening/watching are more interested in what you think about an issue than how you pronounce all the words.

Unless you are Sarah Palin (may the peace of Allah be upon her). Then making such an egregious mess of a very common English word shows she doesn't know what it means. Which is typical because she is a stupid trollop who thinks knowing stuff is for liberal elitists.

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:17 pm

"those listening/watching are more interested in what you think about an issue than how you pronounce all the words"
However, in Sarah's case, there is no thinking going on, about the issue or anything else, so people might as well focus on her pronunciation.

"…she is a stupid trollop who thinks knowing stuff is for liberal elitists"
You're a very kind person to ascribe "thinks" to whatever bug-zapper random electrical zots! are going on in that skull of hers.

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:42 pm

"to ascribe "thinks" to whatever bug-zapper random electrical zots! are going on in that skull of hers."

*kisses Chessie on the cheek*

Um, you *do* have a cheek, right? You haven't disappeared entirely except for a smile? Cause I can always kiss you on the lips. *applies strawberry lipgloss*

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Oh, why thank you kindly (blushes). Hey, I do have cheeks!

problemwithcaring March 29, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Nuance is so disconcerting. To fucking idiots.

ProgressiveInga March 29, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Right? Who the hell wants nuance and well-reasoned thought when going to war? Mushroom clouds, yellow cake, uranium, WMD. Now those are REAL reasons to bomb the hell out of a country thank you very much.

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:20 pm

And then she can be Queen of Thunderdome!

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:42 pm

"those are REAL reasons to bomb the hell out of a country thank you very much"

Well, that and oil.

4tehlulz_lite March 29, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Squirmishes are worse than the Holocaust.

Like Sarah Palin.

V572del c:/*.* y/n? March 29, 2011 at 4:35 pm

She said a true thing: "I too am not knowing."

ProgressiveInga March 29, 2011 at 8:49 pm

Lou Yoda, is that you?

not that Dewey March 29, 2011 at 4:37 pm

This is good news for Lewis Carroll.

Fare la Volpe March 29, 2011 at 6:11 pm

T'was a sustern, and the alaskunts
Did squire and squimble in the glate:
All a cringely were the bristolcoves
And the willotrigs refudiate.

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Wonkette costs me more monitors.

not that Dewey March 29, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Beware the Snowbilly, my son:
The jaws that yawp, the flaccid snatch.
Beware the Todd-Todd turd, and shun
The furious wingnut klatsch.

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 29, 2011 at 8:23 pm

"Frumious bandersnatch" is Carrollian for "Alaskunt."

Chet Kincaid March 30, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Volpe & Dewey, you slay me.

not that Dewey March 30, 2011 at 11:24 pm

It only gets worse. ⇩

Negropolis March 30, 2011 at 3:20 am

I am in awe of your poetic prowess.

not that Dewey March 30, 2011 at 11:23 pm

And, as in squirmish thought she stood
The Snowbilly, with dearth of shame
Came grifting through the common good
And shifting all the blame.

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:44 pm

"When I use a word, it means exactly what I want it to mean."

not that Dewey March 30, 2011 at 11:28 pm

"The question is, whether you can make words mean so many different things?"

franco_pinyon March 29, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Is it the lack of sunlight during Alaskan winters? Is it caribou meat? Is it hairspray?

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:21 pm

I think it's an 80 IQ and a nasty disposition.

mrpuma2u March 29, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Ding ding ding ding ding ding!!!!!

elviouslyqueer March 29, 2011 at 4:38 pm

So a squirmish is like a skid mark, only juicier?

The_Great_Gazoo March 29, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Used as a verb, it refers to the act, either purposeful or accidental, of expelling santorum. For example, "Excuse me while I use the ladies' room. I need to squirmish." Or, "Oops, I just squirmished in my panties."

kissawookiee March 29, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Yes. It's a squid mark.

mourningnmerica March 29, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Sarah Palin – This woman has all the substance of a fart in a hurricane.

Steverino247 March 29, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Squirmish is the Inuit word for "cunt."

smokefilledroommate March 29, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I thought it was 'Atanarjutwat'.

NorthStarSpanx March 29, 2011 at 11:29 pm

Make that, Atanarjutwat-da'wa – since she as a Fast Runner would quit half-way.

smokefilledroommate March 30, 2011 at 12:24 am

Beautiful. Upfist for that, indeed!

randcoolcatdaddy March 29, 2011 at 4:43 pm

The Urban Dictionary provides this definition:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sq

"A verbal stoush between two or more parties that is so petty, pointless, misinformed or ill-conceived that it makes witnesses wince with embarrassment, or so uncomfortable that they don't know where to look."

Yep…that fits most anything Sarah Palin is involved with…

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:22 pm

No wonder she was familiar with the word.

AlaskaGrrl March 29, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Mom always broke out the Pepto when Dad got a little squirmish.

mavenmaven March 29, 2011 at 4:44 pm

That bit where she started talking about the North Star as Alaska's GPS made me literally rip my own head off at the neck.

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:24 pm

You didn't stick around for the confusion between astronomical concepts (North Star), gravitational concepts (a plumb line), and Tom Toms?

Smart, very smart.

NorthStarSpanx March 29, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Next, she'll start shooting her fingers in the air a la Tina Fey after her cutsie over-the-top Alaskan references.

ChessieNefercat March 30, 2011 at 7:54 am

Do you suppose she has any idea that the North Star can be seen outside of Alaska?

Hatrabbit March 29, 2011 at 4:46 pm

When bombs fall, it's a war. When Palin tweets, it's squirmish.

elviouslyqueer March 29, 2011 at 4:47 pm

OT (sort of), but speaking of dim bulbs

GOPCrusher March 29, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Light bulbs, the John Brown of the 21st Century.

Jim89048 March 29, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Ol' Crazy Eyes is introducing a bill in the House about that thing.

bflrtsplk March 29, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Squirk to Enterprise: Squeam me up, Scwotty.

baconzgood March 29, 2011 at 4:50 pm

I can see squirmy from my house.

Extemporanus March 29, 2011 at 4:51 pm

That squnt.

smokefilledroommate March 29, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Ol' Lou has the assworms. It's funny to watch her squoot around the floor.

Extemporanus March 29, 2011 at 4:59 pm

The North Star was also an anti-slavery newspaper published by notorious Lou Sarah apologist Frederick Douglass.

GOPCrusher March 29, 2011 at 5:09 pm

I thought that was a Shart?

Gleem_McShineys March 29, 2011 at 5:23 pm

I thought Shart was the next Palin name?

教授 Zoom March 29, 2011 at 8:07 pm

Who the frak jarked off in my frakkin' coffee?

WhatTheHeck March 29, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Now that we are at war with the Squamish, we will finally bring democracy to those communist Canadians.

kissawookiee March 29, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Lou Sarah would like us all to know that in the Palin White House, she will be the one deciding on wars and squirmishes, in heels and a squirt.

smokefilledroommate March 29, 2011 at 5:14 pm

She could really benefit from Rosetta Stone English.

[redacted]hse March 29, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Coincidence? I'm growing some Rosetta Stone as we speak.

Beowoof March 29, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Snowmachine salesmen have that effect on her.

mrblifil March 29, 2011 at 5:16 pm

She's squeamish about squirmin' and wrigglin', 'specially in da butt. Except as birth control.

jus_wonderin March 29, 2011 at 5:19 pm

And, I waved my wand of magic and make the word "Quittage". Fixed for all time. There. You. Go.

JackObin March 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm

How do you say "dumb cunt" in Eskimo?

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Sarah.

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:45 pm

They actually have 72 different words for "dumb cunt", although before Silly Sarah's ascendancy, they only had one.

Gleem_McShineys March 29, 2011 at 5:24 pm

A quorum of santorum

MegPasadena March 29, 2011 at 5:28 pm

I heard that North Star is Lou Sarah's code name among the Palin people.
That's why she got all excited when it got mentioned by the President.
It is true!

littlebigdaddy March 29, 2011 at 5:29 pm

She is like a much more annoying, not at all cute, version of Yogi Berra.

franco_pinyon March 29, 2011 at 10:16 pm

Cracked me up!

Come here a second March 29, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Amen! MT @Come here a minute:What a cunt, listening to Sarah Palin speak makes me squirmish.

fuflans March 29, 2011 at 5:42 pm

oh. she's still here huh?

not that Dewey March 29, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Also, Squirmles, also.

Mumbletypeg March 29, 2011 at 6:41 pm

As a kid I would have killed to get my hands on one of those. I can't remember if I ever did.

[redacted]hse March 29, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Do they eat Sea Monkeys?

not that Dewey March 29, 2011 at 9:56 pm

I sure hope so.

Fare la Volpe March 29, 2011 at 5:44 pm

What Greta said:
There were a lot of nuances in his speech

What Sarah heard:
Blah blah blah blah Not Sarah Palin blah blah

ShaveTheWhales March 30, 2011 at 3:57 am

Blah blah blah Ginger blah blah blah.

Thank you for that.

ChessieNefercat March 30, 2011 at 7:40 pm

I thought about posting that, but was too lazy. Thank you!

Negropolis March 30, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Actually, this is what I think Sarah head:

"meow meow meow meow. meow meow meow meow. meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow…"

not that Dewey March 31, 2011 at 8:42 am

"Oh, those Golden Grahams. Oh, those Golden Grahams…."

Gleem_McShineys March 29, 2011 at 5:50 pm

There's no need to be so squornful. She obliviously just misbeglotted lingistically.

pinkocommi March 29, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Because Sarah Lou was born a real American, she refuses to speak real English. Until we have a 100% American language, she'll invent her own.

Jim89048 March 29, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Which, maybe according to the shrub, is uniquely American. Kinda like working two jobs to put food on your family.

zhubajie March 29, 2011 at 5:55 pm

That's Todd, isn't it?

Jim89048 March 29, 2011 at 6:02 pm

A prim evil cunt.

Jim89048 March 29, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Skreet cred.

comrad_darkness March 29, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Squireet cred.

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Remember Noriega? I think we should blast Sarah's shriekingest yammerings into Gaddafi's compound. Five minutes to squirrender?

DustBowlBlues March 29, 2011 at 6:12 pm

If Sarah Palin didn't exist, wonkette would have to invent her. It's never a slow day on the humor front when this utter moron opens her pie hole.

ShaveTheWhales March 30, 2011 at 4:01 am

Truly, I do not think even the combined snarkalopogus of Wonkette could invent this (I'm at a loss*) alleged person.

*There are so many pejoratives, but really none of them properly describe her vileness.

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 6:26 pm

With Sarah, it's minimal education and no need for the occasional fastball to the melon.

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:46 pm

But does she occasionally ball a felon?

JustPixelz March 29, 2011 at 6:30 pm

She's obviously conflating skirmish with squirt, as depicted in the documentary "Nailin' Paylin".

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:31 pm

Haw, I was upfist # 69!

AngryGeometer March 29, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Nothing says "presidential gravitas" like talking like the sweetly retarded girl from the Family Circus.

[redacted]hse March 29, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Or Trig.

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 6:48 pm

I remember being around 14 years old or so, and thinking that my parents were the absolute stupidest people living. Somewhere around my 21st birthday, I outgrew that childish belief.

What are her kids going to do in case they live that long?

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 7:44 pm

"I remember being around 14 years old or so, and thinking that my parents were the absolute stupidest people living….What are her kids going to do in case they live that long? "

Well, odds are, they won't be, you know, thinking, so I'm thinking (har-har) that it won't be a problem for them.

ShaveTheWhales March 30, 2011 at 4:01 am

Grift, I expect.

Fukui_sanYesOta March 29, 2011 at 7:07 pm

May Amusingly-shaped Sprinkles Be Upon Him

Boojum_Reborn March 29, 2011 at 7:12 pm

I'm squeechless at the squpidity.

Radiotherapy March 29, 2011 at 7:18 pm

What a squirmish!

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Is a troll about? I hope so, because otherwise people I like are downfisting me.

教授 Zoom March 29, 2011 at 7:55 pm

There is always a troll about. They seem to believe that the downfisting "drives us crazy," because we notice it.

I think that just maybe they can't tell the difference between "Oh, that's odd, why does my post has a "0?" and "Oh, horrors! My life has no meaning anymore! Surely I shall be driven mad, MAD!!! And then I shall cease believing in anything, including my muslin/communist/socialist/gay-promoting/America-hating liberal agenda!"

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Well, it is annoying, in the same way that my cat hawking up hairballs or my dog farting is annoying, but geez, I don't lose sleep over it. Cats gotta hawk, dogs gotta fart, trolls gotta downfist, I guess.

Now, I really like upfisting people even if I don't have time to comment. It's a nice thing to do, I think.

Who gets off on anonymously doing a mean-spirited thing like downfisting? I guess the trolls got nothin' else to do now that they can't vote repeatedly and meaninglessly for the untalented lazyass Palin spawn on some stupid reality show?

PuckStopsHere March 29, 2011 at 11:49 pm

I guess the trolls got nothin' else to do now that they can't vote repeatedly and meaninglessly for the untalented lazyass Palin spawn on some stupid reality show?
Pretty. Much.

EdFlintstone March 29, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Didn't Bristol get pregnant during a squirmish when she took a backseat to Levi?

KenLayIsAlive March 29, 2011 at 10:16 pm

If she had stuck to the backseat, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant.

Flat_Earther March 29, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Does anybody still take her seriously. Even the Faux News people have to be laughing at her.

Chet Kincaid March 29, 2011 at 7:45 pm

This stupid bitch can't conceive of how it would be in our national interest NOT to be in charge of attacking another Arab country without the buy-in of other Arab states and the international community. What a fucking waste of hair and glasses. However, "squirmish" is brilliant, goddamn that idiot-savant cunt.

undeterredbyreality March 29, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Squidiot.

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 29, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Sarah is among the leading dyslexicographers of her generation.

ChessieNefercat March 30, 2011 at 7:58 am

I like "North Tard." Good one.

[redacted]hse March 29, 2011 at 8:12 pm

I think this explains all the skid marks on the Palin's wall-to-wall carpeting.

VinnyGonzanzano March 29, 2011 at 8:14 pm

(Forget about 'squirmish': the piece de resistance of the exchange is the following:)

Greta: I was concerned Obama's speech wasn't clear enough, didn't directly address the rationale for military action in Libya.

Lou Sarah: Well, he did mention the North Star, so that was good.

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 29, 2011 at 8:17 pm

I'm not sure about that. The thesaurus still roamed the earth in biblical times, but I don't think even Sarah has access to them now.

EdFlintstone March 29, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Worst job in the world, Sarah's copy editor when she was a sportscaster. I never knew Rickey Henderson led the league in troubles and driples.

owhatever March 29, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Again, Squarah infuriates her libtard critics with her elegant use of the English language.

tessiee March 29, 2011 at 9:54 pm

One squillion upfists for both of you!

KenLayIsAlive March 29, 2011 at 9:59 pm

Man, you've given Ross Perot and his charts a whole new meaning.

BarackMyWorld March 29, 2011 at 10:07 pm
fuflans March 29, 2011 at 10:26 pm

yeah.

ste4ve404 March 29, 2011 at 10:19 pm

We all knew she had it in her . . . : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kx4kXgF88wQ

MadBrahms March 29, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Palin: "And U.S. interests can't just mean validating some kind of post-American theory of intervention wherein we wait for the Arab League and the United Nations to tell us 'thumbs up America, you can go now, you can act', and then we get in the back of the bus and we wait for NATO, we wait for the French to lead us. That's not inspirational.""

Not *inspirational*? Our foreign policies need to be *inspirational*? What the fuck does she want us to do, deploy Thomas Kincaid? Bomb them with copies of that "footprints" poem? Conquer them with a rousing rendition of "On Eagles' Wings"? I am at a loss here.

PuckStopsHere March 29, 2011 at 11:51 pm

It is, more wholly, the Nation which is at a loss.

ShaveTheWhales March 30, 2011 at 4:03 am

Actually, bombing them with Thomas Kincaid would be alright with me.

NorthStarSpanx March 30, 2011 at 10:01 am

For what he charges for his merchandised art, I agree.

tessiee March 30, 2011 at 12:51 pm

How 'bout we cut out the middleman and just bomb Thomas Kincaid?

VinnyThePooh March 29, 2011 at 10:59 pm

We have to get this imbecile on Wheel Of Fortune.

ChessieNefercat March 29, 2011 at 11:41 pm

Well, I wouldn't want to see that nice Vanna lady that does all the knitting patterns cry, but that conservatard host deserves Palin on the show.

Didn't Miss Piggy of Muppets fame do a version called Squeal of Fortune? How apropos.

NorthStarSpanx March 30, 2011 at 9:59 am

Actually, I was thinking that Sarah is more like the Vanna White or Suzanne Somers of Politics rather than the Paris Hilton or Charlie Sheen – Vanna became a mega-star in the 90's for no reason whatsoever except for her vapid bright smile and her darling All American Girl ideal looks. She makes an estimated $4 million a year for turning letters and wrote a best-selling autobiography. Suzanne was blond enough to pass for attractive and wasn't afraid to take a goofy role in television. She's leveraged her one minute of an acting career into a multi-million dollar brand.

However, neither Vanna or Suzanne are seemingly mean-spirited and toxic figureheads, so I take it back. Charlie Sheen it is. Winning!

ChessieNefercat March 30, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Oh, I see! Sarah as host! Geez, how long until a guest crawled right over that wheel and throttled her? (But there was a letter H, there was!) I agree with your assessment of both Vanna White and Suzanne Somers, but as you say, they don't seem to be mean-spirited people. Unlike our Harpy Of The North.

rocktonsam March 29, 2011 at 11:02 pm

moar ish than squirm

grippinglyauthentic March 29, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Oh how fun!! Squirmish is that game those adorable Harry Potter kids play, yes?

The_Great_Gazoo March 30, 2011 at 12:08 am

I know what you were trying to say. You were going to remind us that 25 years ago Doc in "Back to the Future" was targeted by armed "Libyans" in a minivan in the parking lot of the shopping mall just before Marty McFly went back to the future.

And now here we are, back to the future. Or somesuch.

HistoriCat March 30, 2011 at 12:25 am

It all makes sense now …

SudsMcKenzie March 30, 2011 at 12:18 am

Gotta Squelebrate it!

MiniMencken March 30, 2011 at 12:42 am

Tonight, Squirmish people around the world are sleeping the sleep of the saved, knowing that Sarah is their true and constant champion.

catholic4condom March 30, 2011 at 12:59 am

What if she said "Spermish?"

lulzmonger March 30, 2011 at 1:56 am

tm;dc

(too moronic; didn't click)

Negropolis March 30, 2011 at 3:09 am

Translation: Awll yore English langwidge R beelong two I/me.

Sarah, that words doesn't mean what you think it means.

BTW, the attempt to build a bridge-to-nowhere to connect this with Obama (along with all of the other weak tea comparisons) is just fucking ridiculous.

STOP. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT 200 WHORE-DIAMONDS.

Negropolis March 30, 2011 at 3:13 am

Squirrenders is when you surrender with squirrels, I hear. I'm not sure any such animal is indigenuous to Libya, so we're stuck with Qaddhafi for the time being until we can airdrop some squirrels in there.

wakkumph March 30, 2011 at 3:44 am

Naw, man, it's like a Pokemon! GO, SQUIRMISH!

GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!

Negropolis March 30, 2011 at 8:22 am

Whatever war Obama is raging in Libya, there is not a war in our recent memory with more casualties than Mrs. Palin's brutal War Against the Englih Language/Battle For Teabonics. The atrocities she's committed against this proud, freedom-loving language are eligible for immediate prosecution at the Hague. Never forget!

When is Obama going to come to the English language's aid, hengh? Surely, this is further proof of his moral weakness and degeneracy. Mommas, don't let your boys grow up to be president.

Grief_Lessons March 30, 2011 at 10:25 am

Flustercluck: also first used by Chaucer.

jymallyn March 30, 2011 at 10:56 am

Palin is NOT "Squirmish."

She is a MILF, but only if you duct tape her mouth shut.

gurukalehuru March 30, 2011 at 10:59 am

Where's the dildo in this squirmish?

dsgruntled March 31, 2011 at 10:33 am

I cant see the north star with it so far up her ass like it is!

voodooeconomics April 3, 2011 at 8:54 am

Squirmish i get when we make love Sarah.

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