and the blogging software puts another red line under it

Sarah Palin: Is Libya a War Or Is It a ‘Squirmish’?


Why is nobody talking about this? According to leading military scientist Dr. Sarah Palin, this conflict could very well be a squirmish, which just sounds awful. Actual, no, that sounds rather cute. Can we buy it for the kids this summer and set it up in the backyard?

Also: We knew there was something unnerving about Obama starting to employ this “North Star” metaphor in speeches this year. It turns out it’s the sort of thing Sarah Palin likes. Yeah. Not only does Obama have an unpopular, never-ending new squirmish on his hands, he’s starting to talk like Lou Sarah. This is a very serious situation and may end up sinking his presidency. [Crooks and Liars via Wonkette operative “Melissa”]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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Comments

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  • nounverb911

    I'm squeamish when it comes to watching Palin butcher the English language.

    • Beowoof

      As most people capable of rationale thought are when the SnowSnooki of the North speaks.

    • kissawookiee

      By focusing on pronunciation over substance, you're just squirting the issue.

      • LocalGirlMakesGoo

        Hahaha!

    • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

      I am flustrated about that, too. These johnny-come-lightlies just don't get it. They don't understand how our northern load star provides us with a true moral compast.

      • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

        Sarah is following her moral compost.

    • kdnyc

      The current squirmish in Libya is Obama's way of refudiating Qaddafi. The English language constantly evolves. Maybe it's you libs aren't keeping up with it. It's like snarky people like you are the AP Stylebook and Palin's the OED. LOL!

  • MittsHairHelmet

    Isn't Squirmish one of the Pokemons?

    • 教授 Zoom

      It's how ladyparts feel after a pee-kachoo.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        It's what happens when you stick your finger up the North Star.

    • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

      Yeah. I think it evolves into a Quagmire.

    • GOPCrusher

      I thought Squirmish was the town they filmed Twin Peaks in.

      • 教授 Zoom

        Palin / Log Lady 2012!

    • Flat_Earther

      Sqirmish is a wizard from the Harry Potter series.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Squirmish was a Squab not a Wozard, if you're going to talk about Harvey Porter get it right! Stupid miggle.

  • MiniMencken

    Funny, I always thought Lou Sarah looked Squirmish.

    • nounverb911

      Aren't those the chosen people?

      • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

        Funny, you don't look squirmish. ("Ein squirmische maydele"?)

  • Moonbatting Average

    No, Sarah, it's actually a kind of practice-war, a squimmage, if you will

    • horsedreamer_1

      After which, we fwee Wodewick.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      Rather have a squimmage than a squamous.

  • FNMA

    Actually, it's a "squeamish," which is how I feel when I hear her bleating.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I once dated a girl who was a real squirmish. Best relationship I ever had.

    Edit: Strangely enough, Google Spell Checker doesn't know squirmish. Further proof of Google's Left leanings, or that they need to develop a Palin Plug-in?

    • FNMA

      I think I know her. Did you have to wash the sheets a lot too?

      • mayor_quimby

        I know her too, she gets around. Totally ruined my mattress, the plastic sheets did fuck-all to prevent the mess.

    • 教授 Zoom

      Only an idiot would plug in to a Palin. As copious evidence attests.

    • Rotundo_

      You have to go to Google Translate and get a Dumbass-English translator for $arahspeak.

    • Beowoof

      I believe that is the deciphering doofus add on for Firefox.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      Could they just develop a Palin Plug?
      You know, to cork them.

      Important Spec: Has to fit both pie- and skank-holes.

    • Not_So_Much

      I thought squirmish only referred to what one did with teh buttsecks — inserting the penis in another man's rectum and squirming around in excrement?

      • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

        …resulting in a frothy, squirmish mixture….

  • PublicLuxury

    Squirmish is the Pac-Man red ghost, I think.

  • hagajim

    I like it when my chick gets all squirmish on me!

  • PublicLuxury

    When the husb and I had a skirmish I got squirmish-y

  • Jerri

    Sarah makes my intestines squirmish.

  • Chillwaver

    I don't think she knows the difference between Labia and Libya.

    • baconzgood

      I do know if you invade one with no pretense, afterward she has to pay for the kit herself in Alaska. The other, even if the U.N sais no it doesn't matter. But, I don't remember which is which.

    • ph7

      One is controlled by a reviled egomaniacal terrorist. The other is controlled by Gadaffi.

    • riverside68

      Playing with one without consent will get you extradited to Sweden.
      The other not so much

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Yes she does! She saw "Sex And The City II", and the one girl quipped, "He's the Lawrence of my Labia", so obvs that's the name of the cuntry. Let's not squirmish about it!

    • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

      She strongly supports Women's Libya.

  • nounverb911

    Squirmish, is that Alaskan for pregnant?

    • Boredw/Gravitas

      No, but that's how it starts.

    • Flat_Earther

      I thought it was Alaskan for 'my daughter is upstair probablying F'ing a guy from school and she may be pregnant'. No, I'm sorry that's a Bristol.

    • freddymcmurray

      No, that's spermish.

    • The_Great_Gazoo

      Is pregnant an adjective? Just asking so I will know that, if so, squirmish is not only a noun and a verb, but also an adjective. And a grammatical trifecta such as that really packs some weight.

    • 教授 Zoom

      How is babby formed? How girl get squirmish?

  • Gopherit

    Sure, Sarah. Start this crap again right AFTER the revised Oxford English Dictionary goes to print. You have to be faster. You are misunderesimating their abilities, and i am here to refudiate you for it.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Squirmish is the sound of someone stomping on the English language.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Or what the English language does while trying not to fall out of Sarah Palin's mouth?

  • edgydrifter

    I think she's describing what Todd feels when he rattles his spawn wand around her greasy birth canyon.

    • Moonbatting Average

      This caused me simultaneous attacks of giggling and nausea. Squirmishness, I think it's called

    • DashboardBuddha

      "greasy birth canyon"

      The name of my new band

    • elviouslyqueer

      ALL HAIL SPAWN WAND!

    • tessiee

      "greasy birth canyon"

      Anybody's would be greasy if they used whale blubber for lube.

      • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

        Comes from Loobya, right?

    • 教授 Zoom

      Oh, I just love that Squeamy Todd.

    • Negropolis

      And, the verb to use ones' "spawn wand" is " spwn'd.

  • philpjfry

    Let's ask her opinion on the sun coming up in the morning. I hear Obama's for it which means she gets squirmish and afraid every dawn. Aragont no nothing evil bitch. As if it matters what we call it.

  • smokefilledroommate

    Quaddafi Quisticuffs!

  • aguacatero

    I know this is a bit off topic (Sarah), but:

    Gretta van Susteren is really nauseating.

    • aqua_buddha

      If you squint, she's looks like a squirrel.
      A gigantic ferocious squirrel.
      S'quite a sight.

      • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

        And this is post-plastic surgery. Before it, she looked like a squirrel caught in a crinkled plastic bag.

        • LocalGirlMakesGoo

          Did she have a stroke? Did she used to be a man? Why does her face make me cry?

          • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

            There is something about her face that says "I had the world's first nearly successful face transplant".

    • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

      Saw Gertie @DCA once, pre-surgery. She's a tiny little sprite with glowing bleached hair.

      That doesn't mean anything. But there it is.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Between her & Willem Dafoe, Appleton really took it on the chin/face.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          Well, there's Houdini.

    • hagajim

      Is Susteren the female form of Santorum?

    • Mumbletypeg

      "Gretta van Susteren is really nauseating"

      Then they're well-matched. Anyway Todd, I take it, does not find Susteren's deficiencies insquirmountable.

    • Jim89048

      Since we're all celebrating somethingsomething, I like to call her queefish.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      Grotto van Cistern, also.

    • FoxyO_Wiley

      Oh how I long for the Gretta of the OJ days…she was fantastically squirmish back then, but now only makes me hurt.

  • SexySmurf

    I refudiate this squirmish.

  • Grief_Lessons

    Other things the Libya conflict may be: engragement, fraycas, imbruglia, flustercluck.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Her delusions of grandeur never turned into something real, either. Other than cold, hard cash. Too bad she blew it on her oldest daughter's cat-house.

      • Grief_Lessons

        Cold and shamed, lying naked on the floor. Get up, put on some clothes fer chrissakes.

    • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

      Remember that singer Natalie Imbruglia a few years beack? Kinda cute.

  • SorosBot

    Sarah's voice always does make me feel quite squirmish.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Sarah talks like a novelty t-shirt with a slogan about being drunk. "I swear I'm sober, ociffer!"

    • riverside68

      you mother sticker this is a fuck up
      give me your brains or I'll blow your money out

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        George Clinton would like to use those lyrics on a Funkadelic album in 1973.

        • riverside68

          He's welcome to them, dime a dozen is the price I believe
          I'm loaded and this gun's not afraid to use me.

        • smokefilledroommate

          [Palin's] Maggot Brain.

    • tessiee

      Honess, ossifer, NOBODY wuz drivin! We wuz all in tha back, singin!

  • BarryOPotter

    that sounds rather cute

    Sounds squishy, or enmoistenedly glisterning…

  • Ducksworthy

    Isn't a squirmish the act of having tentacle sex?

  • baconzgood

    SQUIRM LIBEL!!!!!!!!!

  • memzilla

    Squirmish (adj): referring to small bushy-tailed rodents in Pennsylvania Dutch country who eschew electricity and zippers.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Can everyone now agree that $arah Palin should be left on an ice flow or something? For the good of the Nation?

    • Radiotherapy

      She could navigate her way out using Trig and the North Star

    • Dances_For_Ham

      I continue to hope and pray a freight train will drop on Ms. Palin. Always have, always will. There…. I said it.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Not with the fucking climate change Lionel, there are no floes left to spare unless she snipers the last of the Polar Bears.

        • 教授 Zoom

          Snowbilly issues an ice flow every 28 days.

    • 102415

      Yes, for the good of the nation and the good of the world.

  • 教授 Zoom

    I'm looking to that new romantic comedy, Squirmish in Snohomish

    • nounverb911

      How about Squirmishing Snobillies in Snoqualmie?

      • 教授 Zoom

        On SnoMachines.

      • anniegetyerfun

        Sammamish, Sequim, and Skykomish want in on that action.

        • GeneralLerong

          But Suquamish rulz

  • DashboardBuddha

    Squirmish is how she describes sex with Todd. He doesn't so much penetrate as squirm around, thus squirmish.

    • 教授 Zoom

      Squirming around in excwement.

    • Rotundo_

      Sort of like the salmon do it, only you don't die right away, you just wish you could, eternally..

    • [redacted]hse

      Cuz his dick looks exactly like a 6 oz.tuna can sitting on the counter.
      Trust me.

      • DashboardBuddha

        Awww, man. I like tuna. Liked tuna.

      • tessiee

        So then, can we call him Tuna Can Todd?

  • ProgressiveInga

    She's retarded-ish.

    • baconzgood

      No "ish" about it!

  • SayItWithWookies

    You know, Philosopher-Queen Sarah Palin is really onto something here — the reason Americans don't like war is that the terms aren't cute enough. We should really have a De-Miniaturized Zone between the belly-giants to cease hospitilities, otherwise we'll end up with a messacre with lots of collie-lateral damage.

  • Ducksworthy

    Oh not you don't Jack. Not again. I know what's behind that play arrow and I'm not clicking on the clicky to hear the spoutings off the gibberish grifter.

  • CrankyLttlCamperette

    Hookworms make you squirmish…

    • OkieDokieDog

      I was thinking pinworms, but hookworms are probably squirmish too.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Is that a wig? Extensions?

  • jaegermeister

    Squank.

    • FNMA

      Squunt.

      Which I think is an Inuit word for something — quitter governor or snowbilly grifter…something like that

  • aqua_buddha

    *Skwinkies* on that, oh you bet.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Oh you people are so cruel to Sarah.

    She was talking about her favorite dish. Squirrel Mush.

    • nounverb911

      Did she get the recipe from Huckabee?

  • baconzgood

    In the spirit of Sarah I'm making up my own word

    Palin-drone: adj./adv./ verb- to vacuously drone on and on without making a lick of sense.

    • GeneralLerong

      Beauty! "a word salad of palindrones" – sounds pretty creepy!

      Let's discuss recipe possibilities: Some bitter greens with alphabet noodles , somother in… smothered in….uhnnn, never mind.

      I never eat salad anymore anyway, certainly not in a restaurant.

  • PocketsTheClown

    Lets start a campaign of mailing her dictionaries.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    It's more of a chocoholocaust because of our dark president. T

    • tessiee

      A near disaster?

  • Ducksworthy

    Squirmish-The act of wriggling around in fecal matter (see also santorum)

    • GOPCrusher

      You kids and your new lingo.

  • problemwithcaring

    "I was for the no-fly zone, before I was against it. But I am not really against it. Or something."

    • ChessieNefercat

      But the President should stop dithering?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I know it's pretty much rhetorical to ask this whenever Sustern is blowing a Palin like that, but still, what the FUCK are you two nitwits yammering about?

    • Thurman Munster IV

      …what the FUCK are you two nitwits yammering about? A beautifully turned phrase indeed. Thank you.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "…what the FUCK are you two nitwits yammering about?"

      Always with the gotcha questions!

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    She's describing squamish, which requires 43 men. Someone get a frullip and jerk her out of there.

    • comrad_darkness

      Don't you mean Squamish, BC? Being as it is just north of Vancouver, Sarah could see it from her house.

    • tessiee

      Vintage MAD FTW!!

      • 教授 Zoom

        Potrzebie. Furshlugginer. Glitch.

        • tessiee

          Ga-schlork!

          • 教授 Zoom

            Fonebone. Popf-frack-sproing-GING!

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    It is possible to mispronounce a word while on live TV. The best way to deal with it is to not deal with it since those listening/watching are more interested in what you think about an issue than how you pronounce all the words.

    Unless you are Sarah Palin (may the peace of Allah be upon her). Then making such an egregious mess of a very common English word shows she doesn't know what it means. Which is typical because she is a stupid trollop who thinks knowing stuff is for liberal elitists.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "those listening/watching are more interested in what you think about an issue than how you pronounce all the words"
      However, in Sarah's case, there is no thinking going on, about the issue or anything else, so people might as well focus on her pronunciation.

      "…she is a stupid trollop who thinks knowing stuff is for liberal elitists"
      You're a very kind person to ascribe "thinks" to whatever bug-zapper random electrical zots! are going on in that skull of hers.

      • tessiee

        "to ascribe "thinks" to whatever bug-zapper random electrical zots! are going on in that skull of hers."

        *kisses Chessie on the cheek*

        Um, you *do* have a cheek, right? You haven't disappeared entirely except for a smile? Cause I can always kiss you on the lips. *applies strawberry lipgloss*

        • ChessieNefercat

          Oh, why thank you kindly (blushes). Hey, I do have cheeks!

  • problemwithcaring

    Nuance is so disconcerting. To fucking idiots.

    • ProgressiveInga

      Right? Who the hell wants nuance and well-reasoned thought when going to war? Mushroom clouds, yellow cake, uranium, WMD. Now those are REAL reasons to bomb the hell out of a country thank you very much.

      • ChessieNefercat

        And then she can be Queen of Thunderdome!

      • tessiee

        "those are REAL reasons to bomb the hell out of a country thank you very much"

        Well, that and oil.

  • 4tehlulz_lite

    Squirmishes are worse than the Holocaust.

    Like Sarah Palin.

  • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

    She said a true thing: "I too am not knowing."

    • ProgressiveInga

      Lou Yoda, is that you?

  • not that Dewey

    This is good news for Lewis Carroll.

    • Fare la Volpe

      T'was a sustern, and the alaskunts
      Did squire and squimble in the glate:
      All a cringely were the bristolcoves
      And the willotrigs refudiate.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Wonkette costs me more monitors.

      • not that Dewey

        Beware the Snowbilly, my son:
        The jaws that yawp, the flaccid snatch.
        Beware the Todd-Todd turd, and shun
        The furious wingnut klatsch.

        • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

          "Frumious bandersnatch" is Carrollian for "Alaskunt."

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          Volpe & Dewey, you slay me.

          • not that Dewey

            It only gets worse. ⇩

      • Negropolis

        I am in awe of your poetic prowess.

      • not that Dewey

        And, as in squirmish thought she stood
        The Snowbilly, with dearth of shame
        Came grifting through the common good
        And shifting all the blame.

    • tessiee

      "When I use a word, it means exactly what I want it to mean."

      • not that Dewey

        "The question is, whether you can make words mean so many different things?"

  • franco_pinyon

    Is it the lack of sunlight during Alaskan winters? Is it caribou meat? Is it hairspray?

    • ChessieNefercat

      I think it's an 80 IQ and a nasty disposition.

      • mrpuma2u

        Ding ding ding ding ding ding!!!!!

  • elviouslyqueer

    So a squirmish is like a skid mark, only juicier?

    • The_Great_Gazoo

      Used as a verb, it refers to the act, either purposeful or accidental, of expelling santorum. For example, "Excuse me while I use the ladies' room. I need to squirmish." Or, "Oops, I just squirmished in my panties."

    • kissawookiee

      Yes. It's a squid mark.

  • mourningnmerica

    Sarah Palin – This woman has all the substance of a fart in a hurricane.

  • Steverino247

    Squirmish is the Inuit word for "cunt."

    • smokefilledroommate

      I thought it was 'Atanarjutwat'.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Make that, Atanarjutwat-da'wa – since she as a Fast Runner would quit half-way.

        • smokefilledroommate

          Beautiful. Upfist for that, indeed!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    The Urban Dictionary provides this definition:
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sq

    "A verbal stoush between two or more parties that is so petty, pointless, misinformed or ill-conceived that it makes witnesses wince with embarrassment, or so uncomfortable that they don't know where to look."

    Yep…that fits most anything Sarah Palin is involved with…

    • ChessieNefercat

      No wonder she was familiar with the word.

  • AlaskaGrrl

    Mom always broke out the Pepto when Dad got a little squirmish.

  • mavenmaven

    That bit where she started talking about the North Star as Alaska's GPS made me literally rip my own head off at the neck.

    • ChessieNefercat

      You didn't stick around for the confusion between astronomical concepts (North Star), gravitational concepts (a plumb line), and Tom Toms?

      Smart, very smart.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Next, she'll start shooting her fingers in the air a la Tina Fey after her cutsie over-the-top Alaskan references.

        • ChessieNefercat

          Do you suppose she has any idea that the North Star can be seen outside of Alaska?

  • Hatrabbit

    When bombs fall, it's a war. When Palin tweets, it's squirmish.

  • elviouslyqueer

    OT (sort of), but speaking of dim bulbs

    • GOPCrusher

      Light bulbs, the John Brown of the 21st Century.

    • Jim89048

      Ol' Crazy Eyes is introducing a bill in the House about that thing.

  • bflrtsplk

    Squirk to Enterprise: Squeam me up, Scwotty.

  • baconzgood

    I can see squirmy from my house.

  • Extemporanus

    That squnt.

  • smokefilledroommate

    Ol' Lou has the assworms. It's funny to watch her squoot around the floor.

  • Extemporanus

    The North Star was also an anti-slavery newspaper published by notorious Lou Sarah apologist Frederick Douglass.

  • GOPCrusher

    I thought that was a Shart?

    • Gleem_McShineys

      I thought Shart was the next Palin name?

    • 教授 Zoom

      Who the frak jarked off in my frakkin' coffee?

  • WhatTheHeck

    Now that we are at war with the Squamish, we will finally bring democracy to those communist Canadians.

  • kissawookiee

    Lou Sarah would like us all to know that in the Palin White House, she will be the one deciding on wars and squirmishes, in heels and a squirt.

  • smokefilledroommate

    She could really benefit from Rosetta Stone English.

    • [redacted]hse

      Coincidence? I'm growing some Rosetta Stone as we speak.

  • Beowoof

    Snowmachine salesmen have that effect on her.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    She's squeamish about squirmin' and wrigglin', 'specially in da butt. Except as birth control.

  • jus_wonderin

    And, I waved my wand of magic and make the word "Quittage". Fixed for all time. There. You. Go.

  • JackObin

    How do you say "dumb cunt" in Eskimo?

    • ChessieNefercat

      Sarah.

    • tessiee

      They actually have 72 different words for "dumb cunt", although before Silly Sarah's ascendancy, they only had one.

  • Gleem_McShineys

    A quorum of santorum

  • MegPasadena

    I heard that North Star is Lou Sarah's code name among the Palin people.
    That's why she got all excited when it got mentioned by the President.
    It is true!

  • littlebigdaddy

    She is like a much more annoying, not at all cute, version of Yogi Berra.

    • franco_pinyon

      Cracked me up!

  • Come here a second

    Amen! MT @Come here a minute:What a cunt, listening to Sarah Palin speak makes me squirmish.

  • fuflans

    oh. she's still here huh?

  • not that Dewey

    Also, Squirmles, also.

    • Mumbletypeg

      As a kid I would have killed to get my hands on one of those. I can't remember if I ever did.

    • [redacted]hse

      Do they eat Sea Monkeys?

      • not that Dewey

        I sure hope so.

  • Fare la Volpe

    What Greta said:
    There were a lot of nuances in his speech

    What Sarah heard:
    Blah blah blah blah Not Sarah Palin blah blah

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Blah blah blah Ginger blah blah blah.

      Thank you for that.

      • ChessieNefercat

        I thought about posting that, but was too lazy. Thank you!

    • Negropolis

      Actually, this is what I think Sarah head:

      "meow meow meow meow. meow meow meow meow. meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow…"

      • not that Dewey

        "Oh, those Golden Grahams. Oh, those Golden Grahams…."

  • Gleem_McShineys

    There's no need to be so squornful. She obliviously just misbeglotted lingistically.

  • pinkocommi

    Because Sarah Lou was born a real American, she refuses to speak real English. Until we have a 100% American language, she'll invent her own.

    • Jim89048

      Which, maybe according to the shrub, is uniquely American. Kinda like working two jobs to put food on your family.

  • zhubajie

    That's Todd, isn't it?

  • Jim89048

    A prim evil cunt.

  • Jim89048

    Skreet cred.

    • comrad_darkness

      Squireet cred.

  • ChessieNefercat

    Remember Noriega? I think we should blast Sarah's shriekingest yammerings into Gaddafi's compound. Five minutes to squirrender?

  • DustBowlBlues

    If Sarah Palin didn't exist, wonkette would have to invent her. It's never a slow day on the humor front when this utter moron opens her pie hole.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Truly, I do not think even the combined snarkalopogus of Wonkette could invent this (I'm at a loss*) alleged person.

      *There are so many pejoratives, but really none of them properly describe her vileness.

  • ChessieNefercat

    With Sarah, it's minimal education and no need for the occasional fastball to the melon.

    • tessiee

      But does she occasionally ball a felon?

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    She's obviously conflating skirmish with squirt, as depicted in the documentary "Nailin' Paylin".

  • tessiee

    Haw, I was upfist # 69!

  • AngryGeometer

    Nothing says "presidential gravitas" like talking like the sweetly retarded girl from the Family Circus.

    • [redacted]hse

      Or Trig.

  • tessiee

    I remember being around 14 years old or so, and thinking that my parents were the absolute stupidest people living. Somewhere around my 21st birthday, I outgrew that childish belief.

    What are her kids going to do in case they live that long?

    • ChessieNefercat

      "I remember being around 14 years old or so, and thinking that my parents were the absolute stupidest people living….What are her kids going to do in case they live that long? "

      Well, odds are, they won't be, you know, thinking, so I'm thinking (har-har) that it won't be a problem for them.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Grift, I expect.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    May Amusingly-shaped Sprinkles Be Upon Him

  • Boojum_Reborn

    I'm squeechless at the squpidity.

  • Radiotherapy

    What a squirmish!

  • ChessieNefercat

    Is a troll about? I hope so, because otherwise people I like are downfisting me.

    • 教授 Zoom

      There is always a troll about. They seem to believe that the downfisting "drives us crazy," because we notice it.

      I think that just maybe they can't tell the difference between "Oh, that's odd, why does my post has a "0?" and "Oh, horrors! My life has no meaning anymore! Surely I shall be driven mad, MAD!!! And then I shall cease believing in anything, including my muslin/communist/socialist/gay-promoting/America-hating liberal agenda!"

      • ChessieNefercat

        Well, it is annoying, in the same way that my cat hawking up hairballs or my dog farting is annoying, but geez, I don't lose sleep over it. Cats gotta hawk, dogs gotta fart, trolls gotta downfist, I guess.

        Now, I really like upfisting people even if I don't have time to comment. It's a nice thing to do, I think.

        Who gets off on anonymously doing a mean-spirited thing like downfisting? I guess the trolls got nothin' else to do now that they can't vote repeatedly and meaninglessly for the untalented lazyass Palin spawn on some stupid reality show?

        • PuckStopsHere

          I guess the trolls got nothin' else to do now that they can't vote repeatedly and meaninglessly for the untalented lazyass Palin spawn on some stupid reality show?
          Pretty. Much.

  • EdFlintstone

    Didn't Bristol get pregnant during a squirmish when she took a backseat to Levi?

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      If she had stuck to the backseat, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant.

  • Flat_Earther

    Does anybody still take her seriously. Even the Faux News people have to be laughing at her.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    This stupid bitch can't conceive of how it would be in our national interest NOT to be in charge of attacking another Arab country without the buy-in of other Arab states and the international community. What a fucking waste of hair and glasses. However, "squirmish" is brilliant, goddamn that idiot-savant cunt.

  • undeterredbyreality

    Squidiot.

  • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

    Sarah is among the leading dyslexicographers of her generation.

    • ChessieNefercat

      I like "North Tard." Good one.

  • [redacted]hse

    I think this explains all the skid marks on the Palin's wall-to-wall carpeting.

  • VinnyGonzanzano

    (Forget about 'squirmish': the piece de resistance of the exchange is the following:)

    Greta: I was concerned Obama's speech wasn't clear enough, didn't directly address the rationale for military action in Libya.

    Lou Sarah: Well, he did mention the North Star, so that was good.

  • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

    I'm not sure about that. The thesaurus still roamed the earth in biblical times, but I don't think even Sarah has access to them now.

  • EdFlintstone

    Worst job in the world, Sarah's copy editor when she was a sportscaster. I never knew Rickey Henderson led the league in troubles and driples.

  • owhatever

    Again, Squarah infuriates her libtard critics with her elegant use of the English language.

  • tessiee

    One squillion upfists for both of you!

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    Man, you've given Ross Perot and his charts a whole new meaning.

  • BarackMyWorld
    • fuflans

      yeah.

  • ste4ve404

    We all knew she had it in her . . . : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kx4kXgF88wQ

  • MadBrahms

    Palin: "And U.S. interests can't just mean validating some kind of post-American theory of intervention wherein we wait for the Arab League and the United Nations to tell us 'thumbs up America, you can go now, you can act', and then we get in the back of the bus and we wait for NATO, we wait for the French to lead us. That's not inspirational.""

    Not *inspirational*? Our foreign policies need to be *inspirational*? What the fuck does she want us to do, deploy Thomas Kincaid? Bomb them with copies of that "footprints" poem? Conquer them with a rousing rendition of "On Eagles' Wings"? I am at a loss here.

    • PuckStopsHere

      It is, more wholly, the Nation which is at a loss.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Actually, bombing them with Thomas Kincaid would be alright with me.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        For what he charges for his merchandised art, I agree.

      • tessiee

        How 'bout we cut out the middleman and just bomb Thomas Kincaid?

  • VinnyThePooh

    We have to get this imbecile on Wheel Of Fortune.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Well, I wouldn't want to see that nice Vanna lady that does all the knitting patterns cry, but that conservatard host deserves Palin on the show.

      Didn't Miss Piggy of Muppets fame do a version called Squeal of Fortune? How apropos.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        Actually, I was thinking that Sarah is more like the Vanna White or Suzanne Somers of Politics rather than the Paris Hilton or Charlie Sheen – Vanna became a mega-star in the 90's for no reason whatsoever except for her vapid bright smile and her darling All American Girl ideal looks. She makes an estimated $4 million a year for turning letters and wrote a best-selling autobiography. Suzanne was blond enough to pass for attractive and wasn't afraid to take a goofy role in television. She's leveraged her one minute of an acting career into a multi-million dollar brand.

        However, neither Vanna or Suzanne are seemingly mean-spirited and toxic figureheads, so I take it back. Charlie Sheen it is. Winning!

        • ChessieNefercat

          Oh, I see! Sarah as host! Geez, how long until a guest crawled right over that wheel and throttled her? (But there was a letter H, there was!) I agree with your assessment of both Vanna White and Suzanne Somers, but as you say, they don't seem to be mean-spirited people. Unlike our Harpy Of The North.

  • rocktonsam

    moar ish than squirm

  • grippinglyauthentic

    Oh how fun!! Squirmish is that game those adorable Harry Potter kids play, yes?

  • The_Great_Gazoo

    I know what you were trying to say. You were going to remind us that 25 years ago Doc in "Back to the Future" was targeted by armed "Libyans" in a minivan in the parking lot of the shopping mall just before Marty McFly went back to the future.

    And now here we are, back to the future. Or somesuch.

    • HistoriCat

      It all makes sense now …

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Gotta Squelebrate it!

  • MiniMencken

    Tonight, Squirmish people around the world are sleeping the sleep of the saved, knowing that Sarah is their true and constant champion.

  • catholic4condom

    What if she said "Spermish?"

  • lulzmonger

    tm;dc

    (too moronic; didn't click)

  • Negropolis

    Translation: Awll yore English langwidge R beelong two I/me.

    Sarah, that words doesn't mean what you think it means.

    BTW, the attempt to build a bridge-to-nowhere to connect this with Obama (along with all of the other weak tea comparisons) is just fucking ridiculous.

    STOP. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT 200 WHORE-DIAMONDS.

  • Negropolis

    Squirrenders is when you surrender with squirrels, I hear. I'm not sure any such animal is indigenuous to Libya, so we're stuck with Qaddhafi for the time being until we can airdrop some squirrels in there.

  • wakkumph

    Naw, man, it's like a Pokemon! GO, SQUIRMISH!

    GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL!

  • Negropolis

    Whatever war Obama is raging in Libya, there is not a war in our recent memory with more casualties than Mrs. Palin's brutal War Against the Englih Language/Battle For Teabonics. The atrocities she's committed against this proud, freedom-loving language are eligible for immediate prosecution at the Hague. Never forget!

    When is Obama going to come to the English language's aid, hengh? Surely, this is further proof of his moral weakness and degeneracy. Mommas, don't let your boys grow up to be president.

  • Grief_Lessons

    Flustercluck: also first used by Chaucer.

  • jymallyn

    Palin is NOT "Squirmish."

    She is a MILF, but only if you duct tape her mouth shut.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Where's the dildo in this squirmish?

  • dsgruntled

    I cant see the north star with it so far up her ass like it is!

  • voodooeconomics

    Squirmish i get when we make love Sarah.