About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

183 comments

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I too, have been blocked from Sarah Palin's FB

      And all of you, birthers or otherwise, were blocked because you were not focusing enough attention on Sarah. It's her facebook, dammit, not Obama's.

      1. Gopherit

        Really, who would have thought you could be blocked for spouting birther shit on her FB? I can only assume they took her comment as some sort of snark. She probably spelled it "burth sertifikut."

    1. Gleem_McShineys

      SHITHOUSE RAT

      Now hold on there, the 12th Amendment clearly states that his Is his hair is ineligible as VP, because it resides in the same state as Trump.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        If it's an hot minute, it's Anthony Kiedis.

        In fact, given the state of the Michigan economy, I think Anthony Kiedis's dad going door-to-door selling childhood photos of his rock-star son is the leading industry.

    1. Negropolis

      Who knew Sarah Palin['s Facebook manager] had any standards at all? Also.

      Fixed.

      Sarah Palin? Well, she's still totally without scruples. Scruple-free since 1964!

  1. SayItWithWookies

    Trump gets a boost from the crazies and Sarah Palin emerges as the Tea Party's moderate. Win-win.

  2. edgydrifter

    I know he's already released a birth certificate, and the governor of the state where he was born vouched for him, and snopes debunked claims to the contrary, and even most of his political opponents stopped questioning his birthplace a long time ago, but still…
    He's just so urban.
    It really makes you wonder, doesn't it?

    1. freakishlywrong

      They're not racists! Nope. Some of their best friends are Kenyan Colonialists Muslin usurpers.

    2. Failure_Artist

      Sure he's written two autobiographies and released tons of photos, but I don't feel like I know him.

    3. catholic4condom

      Obama can't be an American because Americans are either white or black and talk like Jimmy JJ Walker. Obama doesn't talk like an American Black so he can't be from here. That's the reasonong that has made birtherism the fastest growing political movement since William Howard Taft discovered laxitives.

  3. Allmighty_Manos

    WHY IS SARAH PALIN COVERING UP THE TRUZTH ABOUT KENYAN SOCIALIST OBAMA!! (Sorry I just set up my automatic Politico comments program)

  4. Schmannnity

    Palin blocking inquiries from birthers? Does that mean Palin is less crazy or less opportunistic? Must be less crazy, the alternative is an impossibility.

    1. 教授 Zoom

      Neither less crazy nor less opportunistic. Just has handlers who can count. There's enough people who are crazy enough to support Palin without courting the barking mad birthers, who are a minority of a minority.

      God knows if there were a sufficiently large pederast vote, and if they were likely to give her money, she'd be asking why Obama persecutes NAMBLA.

  5. freakishlywrong

    Oh Minute Mom, Freedom Fighter. Everyone knows the true act of patriotism is to question the citizenship of your President and the validity of the U.S. of America Government. A few short years ago this was known as "treasonous"

    1. GOPCrusher

      Check out the Yahoo comments regarding Obama ordering the bombing of Libya. According to the WingNuts, attacking sovereign nations in the hopes of effecting regime change, is an impeachable offense.
      Who knew?

      1. Beowoof

        Really, and we blew the chance to impeach Bush, well I am sure Congress won't blow it again.

  6. OC_Surf_Serf

    Once again Trump the Megalomaniac is getting credit for something a bunch of other people did first.

  7. anniegetyerfun

    It's entirely possible that she was blocked from Sarah Palin's Facebook page for using correct punctuation and recognizable spelling standards.

  8. JoshuaNorton

    Well of course Trump is as crazy as any of the foaming birthers. Could anybody sane look in a mirror every day and think "great hair"? The last time I saw something like on top of a persons head it had a chin strap.

  9. The_Great_Gazoo

    If Sarah Palin's Facebook page is blocking all the purse pistol packing freedom fighting Minute Mom birther wingnuts, it would stand to reason that Sarah Palin's Facebook page should also put a block on Sarah Palin.

  10. Oblios_Cap

    Why did $arah block her? What's her dirty birf certificate secret?!?!?
    Is she part (shudder) Canadian?

    1. aqua_buddha

      Black, Proud, and uhm .. Russian.
      Remember when Putin stuck his head up her airspace ?

  11. BlueStateLibel

    She is thanking Trump for bringing his own questionable birth certificate into the public eye? BTW, Minute Mom, you are crazy, I feel sorry for your kids.

  12. Hatrabbit

    Thank you Trump …

    -for making me look at your shitty hairdo for the last twenty years.

    -for making Michele Bachmann look like the second stupidest candidate.

    -for making Elizabeth Hasselbeck's nipples go hard when you went all birther on The View.

    -for singlehandedly keeping our economy afloat with your collection of solid gold bidets.

  13. Gopherit

    I think Twitter is the best thing to happen with teabagging conservatards. I can barely stand to read anything they say. 140 characters is probably my limit.

  14. Hatrabbit

    Apparently that's not a dead chipmunk on The Donald's head, it's a Freedom Fighter helmet.

  15. neiltheblaze

    Sarah probably decided that birtherism is the wrong mud to hurl. I'm surprised she figured it out.

  16. 4TheTurnstiles

    Dear MinuteMom, Freedom Fighter:

    Spend a night at my house. You won't shit right for a month afterward, but you'll have a totally different view of freedom, resistance, stretching your limits, giving birth, and santorum. Free offer! just no talking.

    Yours with a firm hand,
    4TT

    1. 4TheTurnstiles

      Oh, and you'll never go back to that constipated closet-case Ned Flanders husband of yours again. (don't you think he deserves a few "poker nights" with the boys anyway?)

  17. fuflans

    freedom fighter??? freedom fucking fighter ??!?!??!? what the fuck have you EVER fought for lady 'mom'? what have you ever had on the line??? go to fucking libya or tibet or burma or afghanistan or death row in fucking texas and then talk about 'freedom fighting'.

    god. and sorry i got no snark. that fucking moniker really pissed me off.

    1. freakishlywrong

      fu, she is fighting the tyranny of mild reforms on a for-profit health insurance system. Get with it. Sheesh!

    2. AngryGeometer

      Hell, if she wanted to fight communism and help only white people, she could head to Belarus. THERE ARE WHITE PEOPLE BEING OPPRESSED! The suffering of one white person somewhere is the suffering of the white race, everywhere. How can a birth certificate compare to that?

      Oh, and the infant mortality rate in Belarus is lower than it is here, making it a great destination for moms!

  18. SorosBot

    Lady, other women's husbands may have been able to impregnate them in just a minute but it's normally not something to brag about.

  19. Captain_Quark

    Wait a second. I'm supposed to believe that our Freedom Fighting Minute Mom posts to her Twitter feed with an iphone? Can a batshit crazy truther teabagger really bring itself to use such an obviously leftist bit of technology? Or is this further proof that the iphone interface is so simple that even a teabagging simian can use it? Questions, questions….

    1. genxr

      I can see her now, galloping through Lexington (NH) in a minivan shouting "The Kenyans are coming! The Kenyans are coming!"

  20. Crank_Tango

    The best part about all of this is this asshole is obviously trying to keep his shitty apprentice show alive, when I think it will just be the final nail in its coffin.

    1. Rotundo_

      The crew of has beens and never weres on this season is something to behold. It was pure, distilled, essence of shit when Joan Rivers and her talent-free daughter were on it. Now it has LaToya Jackson and other "Z" listers no one has heard of, or wants to hear from. Trump is losing it in a lot of ways, not just hairline.

    1. Negropolis

      I know, right? Last time I checked, he was born in Bethlehem and raised in Nazareth, both of them filled with Palestinians. He may be an Arab, just sayin'.

  21. Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    Wow, that is a thing of beauty. It's perfect. It's like some sort of Republican koan. What is the sound of one braincell tweeting? This.

  22. PublicLuxury

    This means WAR. If the unemployment rate wasn't so fuckin' high then 'those' people would find something better to do, like slaughtering their pastor or terrorizing children from playing out doors or hassling unsuspecting postal employees.

  23. loulouroo

    Gee THANKS Trump, because we are getting within two years of the actual election, so the frontrunners' handlers are damping down the crazy. Because Minute Mom has had her head up her ass for the last 3 years and hasn't been paying attention to the refudiation proof, Trump is her man! Minute Mom, don't worry, there's plenty of room in the Teatard party for balloon heads yet. Jump on in!

  24. smokefilledroommate

    'Murka should be proud of a Mom who Fights for our Freedumbs for roughly 60 seconds before taking the kids to soccer practice.

  25. chascates

    Via Crooks & Liars:
    Called in by Fox News to deconstruct President Obama's speech, she wonders aloud whether the Libya action is a war, an intervention or a "squirmish".

    The balance of her "opinion" is to be expected, but at the end, just after the "squirmish" drop, she goes on some weird tangent about the North Star and how it's a guide.

  26. riverside68

    Minute Mom or Minute Mon?
    OMG she's part of the Jamacian rasta cabal.

    Wake up Sheeple!

  27. problemwithcaring

    Bring the question to the forefront? Didn't the President's own campaign start a much criticized/publicized website (FighttheSmears) to debunk your stupid "question" like 2 years ago?? Didn't six sitting members of Congress c0-sponsor a bill about this shit question 6 months into Obama's presidency? Hasn't every single GOP hopeful, even remotely associated with a presidential run, been asked their thoughts about the President's birth?

    What part of any of this is 'Donald Trump bringing the question to the forefront"?

    1. loulouroo

      Hasn't SCOTUS already slapped the birfers frivolus lawsuits? Where has Minute Mom been for the last 3 years?? What freedom has she ever fought for?

      1. hilacious

        Wrong rich white CA woman losing candidate.

        But you still got a chuckle and an upfist from me.

        1. GOPCrusher

          Oh, I don't know. I'll bet under that rug, The Donald has a world class five head to rival Meg Whitman's.

    1. BlueStateLibel

      I don't think Trump has nearly as much money as people think, and I suspect his whole run for the presidency is bullshit, designed to prop up a failing empire. It reminds me of something, oh, yeah, the country where I live.

  28. genxr

    Her tweets are hilarious. 3 days before complaining she got blocked from Sarah's fb page she wrote this:

    "twitter needs to change it so they can't see your tweets and you can't see theirs. Like facebook"

  29. mrpuma2u

    Who is the Donald going to choose for his running mate? Joe the plunger? Will he then tell Joe "Yoah FI-ahd" after Joe inevitably dicks up some public appearance by appearing and speaking? Oooooh my naughty bits are all a tingle at the mad cap hijinx that will ensue. Run Trump run, it will be far more entertaining than your stupid TV show ever dreamed of being.

    1. loulouroo

      Seriously. He may crash and burn harder and brighter than Palin or even Bachmann. And Huckabee is just so boring he might get elected. Run, Donald, Run! I'd get a big ol' bowl of popcorn for those fireworks. Then I'll beg France to take us (the sovereign state of Louisiana, according to Russell Pearce) back.

  30. JustPixelz

    MinuteMom, busy Freedom Fighter, also sez:

    I was born and raised in the city and I look forward to watching Giuliani do for the US what he did for NYC.

    Hooray, no more graffiti on US.

    Hubby just went out to buy a mega million ticket. Wish him luck!

    ;and

    regardless of the certificate, constitution also states that both parents must have an allegiance to no other country but the US

    Yes, but what does our Constitution say?

  31. DashboardBuddha

    Minute Mom? Freedom Fighter?! Jingoistic, self-aggrandizing patriotism makes me puke.

  32. Mahousu

    MinuteMom also tweets: Two years ago, my LONG FORM birth certificate was denied at the motor vehicle agency because it didn't have a raised seal on it.

    Yeah, it didn't have a raised seal because it was an INTERNET FORGERY! MinuteMom is just another KENYAN DEEP PLANT AGENT, trying to lure true USA AMERICANS with the siren song of JAMAICAN=KENYAN LITE POSEUR Donald Trump.

    1. GOPCrusher

      Sleeper agent. She was activated that day her phone rang and she heard the words, "John has a long mustache.".

  33. 教授 Zoom

    Please follow this gal on Twitter, where you can get updates on her new patriotic family band: "Minute Mom and the Sloppy Seconds." (They're touring Texas on a double bill with The AfterBirthers)

  34. hagajim

    Minute Mom – she's only a minute mom because every time her husband pins her dumb ass down to inseminate her she fights for her freedom and he ends up finishing in 60 seconds because she is so squirmish.

    1. Negropolis

      This is just like Sesame Street. I'm learning so much about the English language. Learning is fun!

  35. randcoolcatdaddy

    Hey, MinuteMom – Those drugs you seem to be taking? I don't want any of those drugs, please.

    1. jus_wonderin

      LOL. You play this game well.

      "Oh god. You know how to push my buttons. Of course, now I can't leave. Next you will be saying that Newt will be VP."

      1. problemwithcaring

        It was either that or I am pregnant. But I couldn't find a good metaphor for America With Child.

        1. Negropolis

          How about, "…or I'll post all of the nude pictures you sent me on my Facebook and send them to your boss/family"?

  36. fartknocker

    On March 26th MinuteMom also tweeted:

    "Two years ago, my LONG FORM birth certificate was denied at the motor vehicle agency because it didn't have a raised seal on it."

    So this goofy bitch question's our current president's citizenship yet she'll accept the birth certificate prepared by what appears to be made from articles found at the Pottery Barn and a Hallmark store? And she want's a guy who has hair that looks worse than Kate Gosselin's backwards flying stork for President. What the hell is she drinking?

  37. lochnessmonster

    Why do ppl with iPhones and iPads leave the message on that they are sending the tweet or message from their iPad or iPhone? I figured out how to change mine in about 2 mins. And I'm hardly tech savvy–just ask my kids. Or do they think they have the only one so they are trying to impress??? Don't get it.

  38. JustPixelz

    Plus you'd have to wonder what kind of telepathy torture they'd use to determine true allegiance. Then there's the DNA testing to verify true parents.

    As a bit of trivia, Gerald Ford was born "Leslie Lynch King, Jr", then wisely changed his name after his mother remarried. Pretty sure "Lynch King Jr" would have hurt with the African-American vote. Though first name "Leslie" might have locked up the coveted Leslie Nielson fans.

  39. mrblifil

    Well it's really not a question anymore is it? I mean surely enough time has gone by that he has had every opportunity to provide sufficient documentation and since he has not, it is safe to conclude what we have seen so far is fraudulent? So where is the "question?" Assuming the birfers are right and he doesn't have the documentation they seek, that's a thing he really can't prove isn't it? How do you prove that you DON'T have a birf certificate? What they really mean is that the President wasn't born in the country and is lying. Unfortunately for them his mom's US citizenship means he's a citizen nevertheless, and until they prove he was born out of the country, there's really no evidence that he's naturalized as opposed to born on US soil.

    So they should still just shut the fuck up, but at least they should be honest and stop suggesting there's somehow some open question at play. There isn't.

  40. Beowoof

    Oh yeah well Donald will take away your social security money and give it to his Wall Street buddies, after all they are so adept at handling other peoples cash.

  41. comrad_darkness

    Remember, Palin was handpicked to be VP to a guy who was born outside the U.S. and even (modern recreated birf certs with non-existent hospitals aside) outside the Panama Canal Zone. Apparently even The Grifter can be consistent where she stands on this.

  42. lulzmonger

    Trump's hair is irrelevant – he can wear an elephant-scrotum on his head for all I care. If I was a Yankee I'd be a bit more concerned with that little "I BANKRUPT EVERY FUCKING THING I TOUCH, UP TO & INCLUDING A FUCKING CASINO" issue Teh Donald seems to have. Pandering to mouth-breathers like MiniMom is just a symptom of Trump's chronic case of Venal Assclown Disease.

Comments are closed.