Here’s the worst thing we’ve read all weekend, and that’s saying a lot.
It’s the story of a guy who was prosecuted by a rogue IRS agent who literally picks his targets by watching movies and scanning the highways for expensive cars. Ha, sure, why not? And it’s also the story of how someone involved with Countrywide’s disastrous “stated income loans” (where people were encouraged to say whatever number would make them eligible for these mortgages) was finally sent to prison. CEO slimebag graft artist Angelo Mozilo, who paid a fine from his stockpile and walked away smiling? No, it was this guy:
As a young man, [Charlie] Engle had been a serious drug addict, but after he got clean, he became an ultra-marathoner, one of the best in the world. In the fall of 2006, he and two other ultra-marathoners took on an almost unimaginable challenge: they ran across the Sahara Desert, something that had never been done before. The run took 111 days, and was documented in a film financed by Matt Damon, who served as executive producer and narrator. Mr. Engle received $30,000 for his participation.
The film, “Running the Sahara,” was released in the fall of 2008. Eventually, it caught the attention of Robert W. Nordlander, a special agent for the Internal Revenue Service. As Mr. Nordlander later told the grand jury, “Being the special agent that I am, I was wondering, how does a guy train for this because most people have to work from nine to five and it’s very difficult to train for this part-time.” (He also told the grand jurors that sometimes, when he sees somebody driving a Ferrari, he’ll check to see if they make enough money to afford it. When I called Mr. Nordlander and others at the I.R.S. to ask whether this was an appropriate way to choose subjects for criminal tax investigations, my questions were met with a stone wall of silence.)
The story is by Joe Nocera, the crusading NYT business reporter who is now being shuffled off to the op-ed section, probably to keep from further pissing off the billionaires and their handmaidens at the Justice Department, IRS and Treasury. [New York Times via Wonkette commenter V572 [REDACTED]]
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First they came for the ultra-marathoners and I said nothing…
Today we are all ultra-marathoners.
Uh oh I get out of breath walking to the mailbox, I'm going to be so fucked as an ultra-marathoner.
You don't have a scooter for that? Damn, you are poor. No audit for you.
Today we are all too poor to be audited. Well, to be audited successfully anyway.
When a guy is running that far, he clearly has something to hide.
Here’s the worst thing we’ve read all weekend, and that’s saying a lot.
Oh, this is always cause for optimism.
Damn welfare queen ultra-marathoners, always leeching off the system. The next target should be anyone who participates in the race for the cure. If you can afford to walk 60 miles for breast cancer you are obviously hiding an illegal income stream.
Do you have any fucking idea how much those bastards make?! Don't believe me? Then how come the Tarahumara are the richest people in Mexico. They make Hank Slim look like a piker.
I know right? Living it up on their fat breast cancer pensions while real US AMERICANS PAY TEH BILL!S!
They probably got breast cancer on purpose so they could use their free Obamacare coupons.
Exactly, anchor breasts! I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it. I have it all drawn out on my chalkboard but it gets really hard to look away from it, I'm glad you understand.
Always suckling on the milk-money of Big Tit, the bastards.
mr. nordlander's face should be met with a stone wall of stone.
…and how does Wonkette commenter V572 [REDACTED] (if that's your real name) have all this 'free' time to both read and forward important stories? Hmmm?
He or she is probably a wealthy fat-cat defense contractor, living of the sweat of the brows of others. They're never audited.
The avatar's no accident. Cats don't sweat.
And they were setting up some sort of waffles for sexual favors thing this weekend. (or so I heard.) They were those fancy belgian waffles and not those Eggo things.
Soooo hot and sticky…
a rogue IRS agent who literally picks his targets by watching movies
He should go after who ever thought we needed another Big Momma's House sequel.
He probably likes those movies. Martin Lawrence in a fat suit pretendinding to be a women, why, that's a trifecta of awful! It's got it all, racism, misogyny and fat shaming! someone call Jezebel!
Got to pay for the cocaine, somehow.
Next, it'll be Wild Hogs II: Hog-Wilder. But Martin will have to share with Tim Allen.
Zing!
Mr. Engle made his first mistake when he did not hire the same team of tax lawyers that GE uses.
H & R Block?
Dewey, Cheatham & Howe.
Just another story of a small man with a big badge. The fucking Country is full of 'em.
Sounds like Joe Arpaio.
Classic case!
There is a story in the paper that he – and also, for some reason, Steven Seagal – busted a cockfight in West Phoenix… WITH A TANK.
This country is bonkers man.
I always suspected people became cops to do stuff other people couldn't.
Sometimes you just get drafted into it by circumstances, like I did.
Were you a mean and naughty lawman? I bet you used your badge to capture pretty girls.
I am the Captivated, not the Captivator, with or without a Badge.
Well, here, if you're a young layabout and have been arrested a coupletimes, the judge will suggest you join the police, like US judgessometimes urge them to join the Army. Supposedly they have to studyMao Zedong thought and it makes them even stupider, I'm told.Those are the national police. Of late, cities like Kunming have beenhiring their own rent-a-cops to harass street vendors and the like.They are not only corrupt, like the real cops, but rather more brutal. Fortunately, neither outfit carries guns.
We have several upscale neighborhoods in Atlanta Metro who have contracted either with rent-a-cop outfits or off-duty cops to patrol their areas. Brutality needs no gun, but I suppose it is a plus not to have corrupt brutal thugs armed to the teeth. I was “drafted” out of my freshman registration line at College. It was l962, I had just finished my first tour and had been a Sergeant, Ranger Tactic NCO serving with a Rifle Company of the 502nd, l01st. Airborne Division. Needless to say I was different than the average Frosh in appearance, demeanor and attitude. There were cops there for security (Pre-credit card days) and they approached me out of the blue. The rest is history. My second enlistment (USMC) was more in line with your narrative of the Chinese example.
The world would be a better place if all the tiny dicks with big badges just let their id monsters out in a nice game of Dungeons & Dragons.
Sounds like Jeff Novitzky, lead IRS investigator into BALCO. He was & is just a dumpster-diver (seriously!) in a suit & tie & with a security clearance.
The ranks are replete with no-life bottom feeders like this, State, Federal and Local.
And I keep my bullet in my shirt pocket just like Andy told me.
Just remember, you only get another bullet if you turn in a body for it; so for God's sake, don't lose it. Times are hard for the public sector t
Like that jockey in "Secretariat" – "I told her I'm not short when I stand on my wallet."
Some have better props than others, then there's me….zip.
He also told the grand jurors that sometimes, when he sees somebody driving a Ferrari, he’ll check to see if they make enough money to afford it.
Let me guess, he only conducted these little investigations when a black or brown person was driving the Ferrari.
Shame on you! That's just a racist statement. I'm sure he also profiles Asians driving Ferraris Too.
Ha ha. Joke's on you. Asians can't drive, they're inscrutable.
They drive, but in a Chinese way.
One of the lovely insanities of the Cultural Revolution involved a righteous indignation over the fact that "red" meant "stop" on traffic signals. Since red was obviously the color of progress/revolutionary advance/Mao's secret hair tint, they changed the signals…or actually, their meanings…overnight.
So "drive in a Chinese way" has particularly comic implications. If by comic, you mean carnage and by implications, you mean shattered bodies at "revolutionary" intersections.
ICU81MI ? Hilarious!
Has Mr. Nordlander thought to audit the records of Rethug contribution bundlers? Seems as reasonable as using movies or fancy cars for a trigger.
At least the long-suffering Bank of America got several hundred grand (far far more than the value of the loans themselves) in the end. See, this story *does* have a happy ending!
A modern day Javert. Engle is lucky he didn't steal a loaf of bread.
Hey, give Javert a break. He was chasing a guy who (according to the official records at least) robbed a bishop, violently robbed a small boy, broke parole, made himself a millionaire through unclear means, and then kidnapped a little girl.
(Read the book sometime, it'll surprise you.)
"We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes."
Leona Helmsley
Actually – just for the record and all – she didn't really say that. She pissed off her housekeeper to the point where that woman made that quote up.
Just sayin'…
How does Nordlander have time to do this? I thought all IRS agents were busy auditing pregnant women.
If you get an abortion, save the receipt…
My kid's school is collecting abortion soup labels for a project.
OK I don't have a kid, but if I did, that's the kinda school I would send it to.
Ultra marathoner: 0
Ultra dickhead: 1
I suppose this "agent" uses the "I watch movies to catch tax cheats" excuse to itemize his obviously perverse movie watching addiction/fetish during work hours as a tax deduction.
You know, I hear GE drives some really nice cars…
There's an Alaskan woman with no verifiable income source that just got back from a trip to India and Israel….
Oh Mr Nordlander, you are such a 'special' agent. A 'special', 'special' agent.
I hope a Wall Street banker runs your 'special' ass over while driving his sleek new bailout-funded Ferrari.
Here’s the worst thing we’ve read all weekend, and that’s saying a lot.
Ken, you've got to stop reading and get out of the house on weekends or you're going to blow a fucking gasket, man!
The best part of this story is that the poor bastard has to pay a shitload of money to Countrywide Mortgage to cover the money they "lost" when his property was foreclosed.
Wow, Agent Niedermeyer certainly has interesting taste in documentaries. I hope he runs across this reakin' rogues' gallery of felons, philistines, lickspittles, enablers, pikers, cheats and frotteurs. It should keep the authorities busy for months.
Here’s the worst thing we’ve read all weekend, and that’s saying a lot.
Thanks, Ken.
I thought I'd have to wait until Monday morning to get my depression on.
Spill the Wine
~
Can we shove this guy up Lloyd Blankfein's ass? see if he finds anything?
Well, according to the conservatives, this "agent" needs more power and less oversight so that he can audit abortions in peace.
What about that assclown that fell in the hole out in the desert and had to cut his arm off, so he could host the Oscars? The fuck? Why isn't he in jail?
The arm was deductible. Obviously.
The guy drank his own piss — there should be a deduction for that.
This guy though, does he look up every actor in every film? He just seems like a creepy stalker.
Be nice if every poor black kid who goes away for 25 years on a drug related charge got a column in the NYT and a designer blog.
Sorry. I know it's mean-spirited and stuff but it had to be said.
FREE Mumia!!!!
"I know it's mean-spirited and stuff but it had to be said."
I think that's the motto 'round here.
Friggin' pussy ultra-marathoner. Every body knows that he was juiced. Next thing you know, this reformed drug user will be impregnating a Palin. What kind of illegal doping juice do you have to inject for that?
Levi Johnston is a dope, if that's what you mean.
Someone has top put his foot down, and that foot is me. Give it to Agent Nordlander, he's a sneaky little shit.
Had this IRS expert consulted a source that is actually credible when it comes to running, he would have seen that someone who is devoted to the sport *can* train while holding a full time job: http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-238...
Mind you, that person would not have much time for other pursuits, like beer drinking and staying up half the night, but some people have different priorities…
What are these "different priorities" of which you speak?
Well, my guess is their priorities would include being hyper – disciplined and uber – fit. I always figure ultramarathoners must be ultra – obsessive to reach to that next level. I've done some marathons, but I still have time for some beer and parties, and it's hard to imagine ultra folks being able to do the same. But perhaps I am just a wuss…
My doctor(a specialist but I am not saying what sort in case someone tries to see if I can afford a specialist) told me she trained to do a half marathon while working fulll time. This was because she wanted to say if she could, I could. I couldn't- and time and money had nothing to do with it.
He also tried to audit Professor Charles Xavier, whose so-called "School for Gifted Youth" was clearly a front for all sorts of extra-legal activity.
The IRS has a long history of this type of behavior. My personal favorite is a case where the IRS lost $250,000 for harassing a taxpayer who told the agent auditing her business that she looked as if she should be serving chicken fried steak on the interstate in West Texas. The IRS padlocked her business immediately after that comment and set out on a campaign to destroy her and her business. The woman who made the comment proved IRS was harassing her for her comment and went on to win the big judgment for the damage. Sometimes justice actually happens.
Ah and the stories I could tell from a life in tax work.
Someone send this guy a copy of "The Hurt Locker" and see if we can get an audit of the Pentagon.
This isn't as isolated as you might think. A guy that used to work in my department went out on a disability, but someone saw him on the TV working the pit crew for an off-road race truck, humping two jerry-cans of fuel uphill to the vehicle. Since this was more strenuous than anything I made him do at work, his claim was denied and he had to pay back his ill-gotten gains. Sometimes, the system works (against you).
But this is usually done by insurance investigators, I thought, not IRs agents.
Forget this crazy noise. I already decided a couple days ago I am going to beat this shit by becoming rich. It's not very hard. I think I can even do it without screwing anybody.
Also, just so you know, there has been quite a bit of interest in my MICHAEL STEELE NIGHTCLUB PROMOTER treatment and in fact it could possibly become a mainstay of the new (and doubtlessly tumescent) Beck Network (or Blaze TV or whatever he is calling it).
So I have another idea that I don't have time to support, if anybody wants it. It made me sad to see all this nonsense about this Color app because I thought that up two years ago. So I decided that I am going to give away all the ideas I don't have time to support. I have another pitch for NUTBUNNY.COM – this is a dating site aggregator and demographic compiler where basically you can vet people you might meet on dating sites.
Or at least that is the stated purpose. The actual purpose is to engage as many humans in visiting this site as often as possible, etc. Then blah blah liquidity event in year three, we get paid, etc.
However it's just mainly a huge pageclick generation deal, I mean really, you get to the point where people are gossiping about other people and there's no way you can deal with it. I make some plugins that I give away that people can put on their profile that link to their shit. Crap like that to put on your myspace and etc. I'm not a NUTBUNNY. Have a hall of fame. Lots of fun doing the product development on that.
And if you meet some crazyass person, or if you are a crazyass person,. you can lay waste to people's reputation etc etc FIRST AMENDMENT WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE blah blah. It will be really easy to make baseless accusations. Eventually there will be news coverage.
Phase Two – Facebook Integration.
And you make it easy for people to find out that other people are talking shit about them. Send them notes. Some asshole just said you are not only a whore, but you are lousy in bed. Oooh. You should have checked to see if she was a Nutbunny. You would have known she has a long history of being a stupid whore. Then she gets all her friends to go and downfist your profile. Then you blah blah anyhow, you know, all the shit these people like to do online. Cha ching. Plus you make bank on all the ads for singles you run, they pay pretty well and are easy to sell.
Probably get sued, which would be perfect, anyhow, I have the biz plan and the software architecture done on this and it just needs some angel money to get going and I already scaffolded the whole deal pretty much. Just need some start up funding and somebody willing to help with the business development.
Someone needs to make a movie about this IRS agent.
The NUTBUNNY thing sounds like it would contribute meaningfully to depleting the resources of the marginal elements of our species. That would make it a good thing.
It's only the end of March, but I think we have a winner for the Player Hater of the Year.
Note to self: When the white slavery trade I started pays off, continue driving dented 2005 Pontiac Vibe.
Words fail me. What a jackoff
Woops! Did LouSarah tell her trolls that the secret to impeaching Obama is by downfisting Wonkette comments — or did they read it from the side of a camper?
I feel like kicking a banker in the ass, just on principle.
Build the dang bra!
Someone tried to audit me; but it was the "Church" of Scientology, so I told them to get the fuck off my lawn.
Your P-Meter is going to take a hit from all the Dianeticians down-fisting you.
Red and green have the usual meanings nowadays, but no one pays muchattention. No one hesitates to drive on either side of the road,either. Basically, they drive like they were still on a bike, not ina car. Taxi drivers are worse.
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