Something seems off here. Oh, right, the lovely shots of the cancer wife he’s cheating on.

Here’s a fun classic video we found on John Edwards’ campaign YouTube when we were putting this crap together:

Well deserved. Congrats, John! The best father is the one who denies his children exist.

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  • memzilla

    Newt's campaign ad will make it a trifecta of douchebaggery.
    Nach vorn und oben!

    • Nach vorn und oben!

      Kinda like a colonoscopy?

      We have met the enemy and he is us.

      • Is that a Pogo quote? if it is I will upfist you forever.

      • ttommyunger

        It most definitely IS a Pogo quote.

        • Crank_Tango

          Yeah I was gonna say I thought it was a Pogo quote, then I remembered I didn't know who Pogo was. But it was a trivial pursuit question back in the day.

          A brown pie to you tommy!

          • ttommyunger

            Thank you sir, may I have another?

    • memzilla

      Idiot that I am, I thought the question was, is "nach vorn und oben" a Pogo quote.

      Say, you know who else misquoted cartoon philosophers… ?

      • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]


    • Doktor Avalanche

      I love a 'possum who speaks german

  • pinkocommi

    Amazing how some men cannot help but cause their own undoing.

    • user-of-owls

      I blame the zippers.

      • V572 [REDACTED]

        Really. Because that button fly can ruin your whole smooth operation.

    • Might even have been a great president. You know, if he didn't prioritize filming himself fucking pregnant women in a $400 haircut.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Shorter version. Men are pigs. Male politicians are very muddy pigs.

  • Crank_Tango

    Too soon?

    • tcaalaw

      I'm pretty sure the core temperature of the corpse of John Edwards' political career has hit equilibrium with the surrounding air temperature, so no, it's not too soon.

  • SayItWithWookies

    It's Groundhog Day morning in America.

  • EdFlintstone

    Was Edward's father of the year award one of those awards where you have to pay Newt 5,000 to get it? And every political ad has to the have 3 F's—farms, factories and flags.

  • Parfait!

  • Doubt that T-PAW has had an original thought in his life, so why should he start now? just sayin'

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Pawlenty's Two Americas: Lake Wobegon and the Rest of the Country

    • user-of-owls

      Denizens of Lake Wobegon would eventually gather together in the Sidetrak Tap and scheme to slip the booger underneath the wrong side of an ice-fishing hole.

  • PopeyesPipe

    That John Tesh can play some piano. Dude's talented.

  • DownFist Troll

    Hey! This fucker is ripping off coldpaly ripping of satriani!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I'm still waiting for Michele Bachmann's ad, you know the one, where she stares vacantly into the distance while demanding that her legion of aborted fetuses rise up and assume their rightful place.

    • PopeyesPipe

      In the smokehouse of her baby farm?

    • user-of-owls

      MB: Wait, what? Which camera? I can't do this!

      Lionel Logue: Here, put on these headphones. Now say, "Fucking cunt fucker bitch twat beelzebub fucking cunt."

      MB: Can't I just say "me"?

      • Crank_Tango

        reminds me of this VERY NOT SAFE FOR WORK, OR CHURCH, or BEING HOME WITH KIDS IN THE HOUSE clip I just, um, found on the street?

        • CalamityJames

          I'm so fucking tempted.

        • CalamityJames

          Ok, now I'm just confused. 47 dildoes in every orifice and the champaign pissed her off? Although the conversation was quite entertaining.

          • Crank_Tango

            oops i deleted the comment LOL. well, in the interest of interest, I will repost with the caveat that it is very very very NSFW/etc.

          • Warpde

            And here I was worried I wouldn't get my porn-on tonight.
            Thanks for the re post.
            By the way, Bachmann wants her dildo's back.
            No need to clean. She likes the smell.

          • Lionel[redacted]Esq

            Why is it every comment I ever post eventually leads to porn?

          • BlueMonkeh

            just lucky?

  • harry_palmer

    Tim Pawlenty's Two Americas: The one where he honors the Pilgrims who came to escape religious oppresssion to try to get elected, and the one where he can practice his demagoguery against the Muslins to try to get elected.

    • SorosBot

      Now, be fair, Pawlenty has a lot in common with the Pilgrims. For one, the religious oppression they escaped was that they weren't able to persecute anybody who didn't follow their brand of fundamentalist Protestant Christianity (their brethren back in England did eventually succeed under Cromwell, but it didn't last); over in the Americas though they were able to murder the shit out of the heathen natives.

      • Even then puritanical fundies were hated for their freedoms.

  • poncho_pilot

    i hate that "i just watched a commercial but i don't know what they were selling" feeling.

    is making minutes seem like hours an example of hyperinflation?

  • DownFist Troll

    Oh And memo to John Edwards. For your next affair / tryst / anonymous sexytime / exposure to naughty bits etc., please make sure the condom is on, and the camera is off. Not the other way around.

  • SkinnyNerd

    At 0:30: "What we are going to spend our lives doing." Cue shots of "Bank Owned," "Foreclosure," "Not Hiring." Brilliant. This is pure art.

  • rocktonsam

    TPaw makes MBachmann look like I DON'T know just got back from Friday fish fry so what were we talking about?

  • Pragmatist2

    Easy to explain. They are all the same person.

  • Extemporanus

    The parallels between Edwards' and Pawlenty's lives are indeed uncanny:

    Edwards: Son of a mill worker
    Pawlenty: Son of a milk worker

    Edwards: Became a highly successful trial lawyer after college
    Pawlenty: Became a lawyer after college

    Edwards: Met and courted his future wife at college
    Pawlenty: Met and bored his future wife at college

    Edwards: Wife who some mistook for his mom died of cancer
    Pawlenty: Mom who he sometimes mistook for his wife died of cancer

    Edwards: Speaks with a congested Southern drawl
    Pawlenty: Speaks with a contrived Southern drawl

    Edwards: Had a sordid affair with his campaign videographer
    Pawlenty: Having a sordid affair with his campaign videographer

    Edwards: Douchebag
    Pawlenty: Douchebag

    Et cetera, et cetera, et ZZZzzzzz

  • GuanoFaucet

    John Edwards is morally weak!

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Flagged for citing an obvious fact on teh Wonkette.

  • WriteyWriterton

    O/T, as Pawlenty is too boring to concentrate on for longer than it takes to dismiss him, our boy Pablo Krugman today submits this righteous rant for our consideration and approval:

    • V572 [REDACTED]

      Once Barry let go of Keynesian economics there was no hope for more stimulus spending.

      Of course, additional wars do create additional spending…funny how that works.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Needs more Basil Marceaux….

  • WriteyWriterton

    Meanwhile, David Brooks blithers…

    …maundering about how Gaddafi (Crazy Tyrant – Spelling Optional) may be able to stay in power because he's a megalomaniac. W. T. F.?

    And Bob Herbert's leaving the Times. Sigh…

  • V572 [REDACTED]

    OT, but can someone please explain to Lawrence O'Donnell that the word "join" is not pronounced "jern"? And if that's not possible, could he just be supplied with some synonyms so he doesn't have to say it so often? I can't think of anything else when I listen to his show, just waiting for him to say it again. "With me now…" "Here by satellite…"

  • ttommyunger

    Too clever by twice!

  • ttommyunger

    Playing the T-Paw vidzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    What a coincidence, all politicians are the same: morally bankrupt prostitutes who will sell out their constituents for the first wad of cash waved under their noses…

  • MetroVaquero


    “Girls are bullied for being blond, and they colour their hair dark to avoid it and fit in. It is especially not okay to be gay at the school, nor atheist, and especially not Jewish."

    'Sounds like WonkBigots.

    • Crank_Tango

      yes, the girls in califonia are bullied all the time for being blond. so much so, that they all bleach their hair blond.

      • not that Dewey

        I thought rightwingers were opposed to anti-bullying measures because they are a front for the "homosexual agenda" (whatever that is). Besides, if Breitbart were to oppose bullying, wouldn't he be advocating his own demise?

        Fucking right-wing ideology. How does it work?

    • SorosBot

      Um, "big peace" is a site run by Andrew Breitbart, a man who is known for lying constantly and has 0% credibility on everything. Try giving some credible evidence for your claims?

      • MetroVaquero

        Why do you spend as much time there as you do, then?

        • Hey look, it's that racist and homophobic Kevin guy who calls everyone racists and homophobes.

          He's just your average guy folks, a retired man sittin' on his ranch in middle of nowhere Arizona, obsessing about gay nazis and trolling the internet.

          A real American hero.

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            Twenty acres is a ranch in your "mind?" Kenny, you really need to dream bigger. As for all that "homophobe" and "racist" silliness–The Leftards overuse, misuse, misapplication, and abuse has rendered impotent any intimidation value that ever had.

            Given how standard that kind of thing is on the Gomerette, I can see why your view of the rest of the world is so tainted–if you spend enough time in a toilet like the Gomerette, the whole world's likely to look sh*tty to you.

          • Haha. Racist and homophobic "silliness".

            Yes Kevin, I guess racism might seem silly to you sitting out on your 20 acres with your half of a mule. But I think most other people take it pretty seriously.

            Look buddy, we know a turd when we smell one. And you are stinking like feedlot on a moist summer day.

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            "But I think most other people take it pretty seriously."

            Correction: "But I think most regressives recognize it as having been the best phony political tool/sledgehammer ever constructed to take advantage of the terminally stupid."

            There ya' go–all bettuh? It's my moral duty to educate libunatics evey time the need arises. Thanks for keeping me "in business."

          • Yeah, Kevin. I don't want to say your living in a tiny hick town, well outside the common experience of 90% of Americans, makes your life experience and "lessons" invalid for the rest of us – but it kind of does.

            So look, stay in your town of 2000 people (which is 7/8th are white), finish up your gay nazi edition of "Penthouse Forums", and quit pretending that living in some shit town 200 miles from an interstate highway makes you an expert on the "American Experience".

            Jesus Christ. Live out your retirement with a little fucking dignity man.

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            Ooohhh. Ad hominems. I thought you inbreeders hated those unless you're the ones making them, of course. Oh! Darn. There's that hypocrisy again.

            Get a job and pay your taxes–I'm running out of ObamaCigars.

          • I really don't think a giving a cogent analysis of your milieu and pointing out the demographics of your town qualifies as an ad hominem attack, Kevin's Towel.

            An ad hominem attack would be me calling you a stupid ignorant slob, you stupid ignorant slob.

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            Your seeming assumption that I'm White is quite demonstrative of your own bigotry. Are you sure I'm White? I must be because no Black person would have the views I have, right? Self-determination, self-reliance, etc. How racist–I'm an ex-pat from the DemoPlantation.

          • I don't think I ever said you were white Kevin. I said your town is 90% white.

            But, if I had to roll the dice – I just don't think any Black person would be caught dead doing Amos and Andy impressions online – though I could be wrong. I wouldn't dare stereotype Black folks in the world of Clarence Thomas, Alan Keyes, Condoleeza Rice and Herman Caine.

            We've got your record of comments Kevin. Your sad attempts to try to call us a bunch of racists and homophobes – while coming from the most racist and homophobic sites on the internet – is always good for a laugh.

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            "Your seeming assumption that I'm White"

            Be as careful reading my words Ken as you are quick to read things into them that aren't there. What color my (non-existent) neighbors are is of no concern to me.

            "I just don't think any Black person would be caught dead doing Amos and Andy impressions online" You deemed that to have been what happened and I doubt you save any of my posts because you know you don't have a leg to stand on with regard to any labeling of a Conservative you engage in. Deemings, like any delusions, only seem real to the delusional, Ken.

            Why should I care what a guy says who brags about pissing his days away smoking dope and playing with his paints? Never mind. "Dope puts me soooooo much more in tune with my surroundings, Dude–it, like, really increases my awareness."

          • Haha. What are talking about?

            Alright Kevin. You can keep coming back with some brand new ridiculous statement and trolling me. That's fine. But everyone else reading can just see that you are a sad reactionary.

            You'll say anything. You really will. It's as transparent as it is hilarious to watch you do it.

            "What if I'm Black" "Why are you threatening me?" "You smoke dope and play with paint"

            I mean, come on Kevin. Words are supposed to carry meaning.Arguments need to have form. But you just keep throwing out whatever comes to your mind in the hopes that it will stick.

            Have some fucking dignity Kevin.

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            Nothing, huh? Go, in peace, to love and serve *.

          • And Kevin slinks away, putting his fingers in his ears and pretending he has heard nothing.

            A sad close-minded man sounds the retreat and crawls back into his fantasy land.

            Bye Kevin. Smell ya later!

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            "Ululation" is the word you sought. Another stunning non-rebuttal, BTW. It doesn't matter how many ways I show you your ignorance, you refuse to learn anything–what's the point of continuing?

          • When you can show me how I'm ignorant Kevin, I'm always willing to listen. You have yet to make a point, I'm sorry. There is a word for disingenuous people who do what you do. You have no moral base. You're a reactionary. You're just a shit-flinger Kevin.

          • Kevin Stowell's "Real America" – 90% white, 66% unemployed or "not part of the labor force". Not one single person with an income over $80,000 (which is probably why Kevin imagines himself one of America's over-taxed rich elite).

            Not quite the America most of us know Kevin. You really ought to get out more.

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            What's up with you and that other buttbreather, Cicada, alluding to knowing where I live? Do you really think that's intimidating? Iknow, I know–"We're gonna gitchoo!" are you sure the cord on your Prius will reach that far?

          • Oh Kevin, you little girl. I'm not alluding to it to pretend I'm gonna send some SEIU thugs out after you. I'm just trying to point out how far removed your life is from the average American's.

            But keep fuckin' that neurotic projection, Kevin.

          • Cicada

            What's up with you and that other buttbreather, Cicada, alluding to knowing where I live?

            Um, because we do? Your account links you to your real name and location. It's just mind-boggling to me that you would have done that with an account you use to spew racist bile and troll websites.

            By the way, I stumbled upon a blog post that cites some of your bilious comments on Breitbart as evidence of what a haven for nasty, bigoted assholes that place is. And yes, it was from when you were commenting under your real name.

            You're internet famous, Kevin! Your family must be so proud.

    • SorosBot

      Oh, and troll Kevin Stowell here (I guess he was stupid enough to think a name & avatar change would fool us, even though we can just click on his profile?) also has been infesting the Haley Barber thread below. How has this overt racist not gotten banned yet anyway, even when he was the ringleader of the first Breitbart troll invasion?

      • di_da_is_alpha

        I don't think he's trying to fool any of you with a handle change, JMPEsq. Oh, wait, you don't go by that handle anymore.

        • MetroVaquero

          Heh heh heh. They never give up hope, do they? 'Can't tell them why I do that, though. It has to do with how their First Amendment-hating babysitter operates.

          • Ah yes, Kevin Stowell. To whom the first amendment means the right to yell "nigger" in a crowded Apollo theater.

            Good luck with that.

            Speaking of the "First Amendment" – funny thing about Breitbart is comments containing the n-word are automatically deleted. One can only assume this doesn't arise form a sense of community decency, but it is to prevent their ignorant racist commenters from making that site even more of an embarrassment than it already is.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Your quote, and, in fact, every quote in the article you link, is from one specific individual. Obviously, this fellow is upset, and is about to become part of "white flight" from his neighborhood — that doesn't really do much to make me take his all his assertions as literal truth.

      OTOH, the Grorud Valley does appear to be an area where the browner immigrants have been ghettoized, so it may well be that there are some schools that are majority or even preponderantly, Muslim.

      Couple of side notes: (1) it must be extraordinarily hard to be Jewish at that, or any school, since there appear to be fewer than a thousand Jews in Norway. (2) FWIW, Norwegians are not notoriously blond. Swedes are blond.

    • SayItWithWookies

      There's a saying that the plural of anecdote is not data. Extrapolating outward from one person's experience is a completely invalid way of looking at a social trend for a reason — because you have no way of knowing whether that person is telling the truth, is a liar, self-deceived, a bigot, or mad for other reasons and blaming the first thing he sees. That's why that story isn't journalism. You'd do well to develop some critical thinking skills and learn why that's important.

      • SorosBot

        Now, there is a very easy way to tell with this Aserud person; he gave his story to one of Breitbart's goons, which means he either 1) is a bigoted liar, or 2) doesn't actually exist, but was invented by this Ned May guy.

    • WHAT? Children bullying each other over physical appearance, religious affiliation, or sexual preference? Why I never! THE ACLU SHALL HEAR ABOUT THIS! GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR!!

      Oh and Metro, we like the gays over here. And the atheists, and the Jews, and even Canadians. We're only biased against ginormous assholes. Tough luck, big guy! Feel free to complain to HR.

    • Cicada

      Did you realize that your personal info was easily found based on your profile? I'm not going to disclose it 'cuz I'm classy like that, but you might want to consider that when you go around trolling websites.

      *wanders away whistling*

    • Cicada

      Get off the computer and go fuck Elsie, Kevin. She's in need of a good milking too.


      • MetroVaquero

        I though you said: "Did you realize that your personal info was easily found based on your profile? I'm not going to disclose it 'cuz I'm classy like that,"

        No, it doesn'tlook like it. (In my best Jimmy Stewart voice)

        • Cicada

          You so crazy, Kevin.

          BTW, it looks like you use your WP account to leave your little troll droppings all over the internet. How do you find the time to do that and make sweet, sweet love to your cud-chewing soulmate? She must feel awfully neglected.


          Speaking of wasting your life on the internet, I'm off to enjoy the nice, crisp, weather. Have a great weekend pecking away in the glow of your computer screen!

          • MetroVaquero

            Retired–sorry you never will be.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Using Briebart as a source? Please. If I were seconds away from climax, I wouldn't believe Andy if he told me he was sucking my dick. The man is a liar and a fraud. Why would someone as intelligent as you follow someone like that?

    • Girls can not be bullied for being blond. Boys can be bullied for being blond. Girls can only be bullied for being blonde.
      Anyway, that's the spelling rule I go by.

      • MetroVaquero

        I guess that'd be true if American English used gender-based nouns, Teacher. Take it up with the author who wrote that.

        Now, write 100 times on the board: "I must not use a quotation to rationalize my contempt for someone I don't know, over things I don't understand, by attributing the (selectively misperceived) impropriety of the grammar by the author of the article to the person who was obviously quoting them."

        • "'Girls are bullied for being blond, and they colour their hair dark to avoid it and fit in. It is especially not okay to be gay at the school, nor atheist, and especially not Jewish.'

          Sounds like WonkBigots."


          "Now, write 100 times on the board: 'I must not use a quotation to rationalize my contempt for someone I don't know,'"

          HAHAHAHAHA — contradicting yourself in the same thread FTW!!

          Also, you keep on using that phrase "First Amendment." I do not think it means what you think it means. Government persecuting you for expressing your opinion = bad. Private organization moderating comments on an Internet chatboard and removing people who are behaving like assholes for no reason other than they seem to enjoy behaving like assholes = no problem. But feel free to complain to SCOTUS, big fella!

    • glamourdammerung

      Since you are suddenly so concerned about racism, we could discuss Andy Breitbart's smear job on Shirley Sherrod and how morally repugnant it was.

      • Geraldine Ferrari

        "Since you are suddenly so concerned about racism,"

        I'm actually racism-apathetic. These days, as it has been for a generation or so, it's just a political sledgehammer used by ignorant people, who can't sell their "ideologies" with using race as part of their divide-and-conquer political mechanism and the terminally stupid, like yourself, suck that crap up.

        Why do you confuse treating a whole race of people with deference/condescension, as if they are helpless, political plantation-dwellers, belonging to you, with "tolerance?" Thanks for playing, glamourdumbass.

        • glamourdammerung

          These days, as it has been for a generation or so, it's just a political sledgehammer used by ignorant people, who can't sell their "ideologies" with using race as part of their divide-and-conquer political mechanism and the terminally stupid, like yourself, suck that crap up.

          Uhm, you are coming over here from Andy Breitbart's various sites and then post that?

          Best trolliing ever.

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            Stunning refutation of my point. Nothing, huh?

          • glamourdammerung

            You had a point?

            I brought up Breitbart editing a video to do a smear job on Shirley Sherrod. You responded with some strawman nonsense and a few ad hominem remarks. You had no point to refute, other than some really amusing trolling, which I complemented you on.

          • Geraldine Ferrari


            Why is the racism of the Left better than that the Left almost invariably inappropriately assigns to the Right? Oh, that' right, it's not racist when they say the same thing they almost always falsely assign to those on the right. Well, there's that, and the Left are irretrievably hypocritical and, apparently, she rejected the notion that he won on merit.

            Got it–hypocrisy, racism, condescension towards Blacks, etc.

          • glamourdammerung

            You must have copied the wrong link as that has absolutely nothing to do with Breitbart's shameful racist comments or the editing job of the Sherrod video.

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            Didn't I post that Stossel link to you or are you ululating again? Dems are now and have always been the most racist bunch of human beings there has ever been. I should know, I was one once. 'Even planted yard signs for JFK. 'Sorry you're stupid.

          • glamourdammerung

            I was merely giving you the benefit of a doubt despite your history and comments since you were so upset that no one took your comments seriously.

            I am sorry you clearly have nothing better than feeble ad hominem attacks and randomly changing the subject to strawman argument.

            Maybe you should think about that the next time you whine about how no one is taking your posts seriously.

          • Geraldine Ferrari

            I'm 59, degreed, retired, and far smarter in my sleep than you'll ever be under any condition. My concern with being taken seriously ends at the keyboard but thanks for showing your disingenuousness about that with this rather protracted thread. I'm catnip and you're the pussy who can't say "no."

          • glamourdammerung

            Stunning refutation of my point. Nothing, huh?

            My concern with being taken seriously ends at the keyboard but thanks for showing your disingenuousness about that with this rather protracted thread.


          • Hey, why bother making a concrete argument when he can just fling poo around, amirite?

            He is a babbling brook of bullshit. There's no telling what cockamamie non sequitur is going to float downstream next.

          • Just to be clear – Democrats did not accept the statements of Ferraro. We did not sweep that under the rug. She was roundly reviled for her statements.

            No one is saying there is not racism in the Democratic Party. Racism exists and can be part of anyone, in the same way hate can – it is a symptom of ignorance and fear and hatred – what is important is to combat it.

            Therein lies the difference Kevin. When Democrats find racism, in their own party or in another – it gets called out. It gets condemned. It gets combated. You lot, on the other hand, use racism as a tool, using one of the most base and damaging human neuroses to advance your sick agenda. Think Reagan clinching the southern vote by speaking over the graves of civil rights workers. Think the Willie Horton ad. Think questioning Obama's birthplace.

            But keep flinging shit Kevin. The rest of the world will just watch your neurotic meltdown with the astonishment it deserves.

          • Kevin, when you have a point, we'll refute it.

            To you "tolerance" is "condescension".

            In teabag America – every vice is a virtue, every virtue is a vice.

            You all are so fucking gross it is unreal. Really just fucking shocking.

        • Easy for a dumb dipshit like yourself to be "racism-apathetic".

          A lot of people don't have that luxury Kevin.

          You should consider being apathetic toward racism as a vice, not a virtue. Not that you all have any sort of moral compass.

    • lulzmonger

      Breitbart link = 100% agitprop, 0% credibility.

      HINT: A man who refers to himself as "a clown" & who gladly admits that he cares much more about making Dems look like Satan than telling the truth may not be your best information source.

      Getting poutraged at the people who keep cleaning up the GOP's dirty diapers every time they shit the economy is not actually a pro-America lifestyle, no matter how loudly or often Andy & his flying monkey squad say otherwise.

  • vodkamuppet

    T-Paw's boring but honestly, they all bore me now. We need to draft Micheal Steele to really make this interesting. Otherwise, let's just hold the elections now so I can get on with the business of being dissapointed with Bammerz' second term. Speaking of Bammerz, where's Sara Bennincassa been lately?

    • Moonbatting Average

      We're about to have GOP debates with some combination of Michelle Bachmann, Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Haley Barbour, and Mike Huckabee, and you're bored?

      • vodkamuppet

        They're all old hat to me right now. Sure they'll be hilarious when they happen but I don't really expect to hear anything new so it's hard to get excited about it. We need to get Steele in on the action, the man is a living breathing, cartoon character, he never gets old.

        • lulzmonger

          Amen! Unless Palin decks Gingrich or Huck cracks up & starts going Full Tourette's live on TeeVee, any of us here could easily write up exactly what these clone-clowns will say. Steele was indeed a ray of joyous whackjob sunshine amid the GOP's gloom, & chairman Reeance Preeance will NEVER fill those blue suede shoes.


    • DownFist Troll

      Word, we Benincasa back up in this bitch, post-haste.

      • vodkamuppet

        Sigh. It's been too long.

    • Bennincassa prolly got a jerb the eleetst bitch.

      • vodkamuppet

        I follow her on the twittering contraption and I don't recall seeing anything about her gettin a jerb. Doing comedy and giving out free advice on her formspring page but no mention of a paid blogging gig. That's it, i will send a twert her way and get to the bottom of this.

    • glamourdammerung

      I find Pawlenty rather exciting myself. He is like a breath of fresh air or a collapsing bridge into a cool river.

      • BlueMonkeh

        Daaaaayyyuuummm! That's the good stuff.

  • CalamityJames

    Is it just me or did he say "It is time for OUR party, The Democratic Party…." at the 43 sec mark? I no know vid linkies, so find it yourself. Go ahead, I know you can do it.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      The clip is the video of TeaPaw spliced with the audio track from an old Edwards clip, so yeah, he (Edwards) did say that.

      • CalamityJames


  • DahBoner

    Cancer wives, kids and dogs = The Old American Dream

    I can still play the guitar like a motherfucking riot

    • UW8316154

      Rent boys, diapers and aborted fetus farms = Conservative American Dream

      • El Pinche

        Aborted Fetus Farm? Is that the teabagger's Knots Berry Farm?

  • T'Pau is running book ads in Dallas that sound suspiciously like campaign ads. They make much about his roots in "gritty South St. Paul." Can't wait to hear more of his Yosemite Sam/Foghorn Leghorn voice in the coming months.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      "Gritty South St. Paul"? Honest?

      I must tell my relatives.

      • Honest. Gritty South St. Paul. I was fooled for about 15 seconds into thinking that it was an early campaign ad and not just a book-whoring plug.

        This was followed by an ad for a CD of Great Conservative Speeches, featuring the voices of St. Ronnie, Sarah Palin, and Dubyah, only. Great selection there.

  • GuanoFaucet

    If you play the Pawlenty video at half speed and squint real hard you can momentarily glimpse the creeping shadow of Sharia Law slowly infiltrating Minnesota.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      The Sharia was John.

  • Weenus299

    The Libyans won't know the difference.

  • MetroVaquero

    Oh look. One of Darwin's Dolts did that post-just-long-enough-to-send-in-the-middle-of-the-night-because-he's-a-coward,-then-delete, thinly-veiled threat thing.

    Cicada replied to your comment on Every Campaign Ad Is the Same / Wonkette:

    Did you realize that your personal info was easily found based on your profile? I'm not going to disclose it 'cuz I'm classy like that, but you might want to consider that when you go around trolling websites.

    *wanders away whistling*
    Go to comment

    In reply to your comment:


    “Girls are bullied for being blond, and they colour their hair dark to avoid it and fit in. It is especially not okay to be gay at the school, nor atheist, and especially not Jewish."

    'Sounds like WonkBigots.

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    You don't really think you're intimidating anyone with that stupidity, do you? I'll save this for future references, though. *wanders away whistling*

    • di_da_is_alpha

      What do ya expect from a Cicada? After all, they are just noisy insects that are easily squished.

      • MetroVaquero

        Good morning, di_da. I'm glad they only do it every 17 years. Or maybe it's seventeen-year-olds who do that–trying to bully the adults. I forget. You're the resident entomologist, which is it?

      • Fuck Toad

        In these two gentlemen's dressers you will find hundreds of tasteful Polaroids of each others' dicks.

      • Gopherit

        Hahaha. Oh, wait, you have a point other than sounding like a big man on the intertubes?

    • lulzmonger

      Talking about IP-stalking?

      Yeah, Breitbart-trolls have been doing exactly that here already, for quite a long time – & not in the "perhaps you didn't know this" way, so much as the "I wonder if I can find out exactly where you live so I can burn your house down" way.

      Concern-troll FAIL.

      • Gopherit

        yeah. pretty much exactly. i guess there are fights you should choose to pick if youare smarter… "geraldine" classy moniker after today.

    • Cicada

      I posted that and then deleted it because I regretted sounding like a scary asshole. Also, I had just gotten home from a party and was a little tipsy. These things happen.
      I do think that you should keep in mind that you come over here to incite people, but you have also left an info trail that's easy to follow. And I'm not even a crazy hacker type, so it's pretty obvious.

      As I said, I would never, ever, EVER put your info out there. And I'll say now that I would never, ever, EVER do anything with your info. But I'm not a dick. You have no guarantee that everyone here has the same principles, especially since this is a public forum. And then there's the fact that you are pasting a big giant "fuck with me" sign on your back by coming here over and over again and trolling.

      In short, sorry for posting the creepy message. I tried to delete it before you saw it, but I should have known that a guy who spends every waking moment glued to his computer wouldn't miss it.

      Also, get a fucking life you ignorant fuck.

      • Geraldine Ferrari

        How . . . . schizophrenic of you. Thank you . . . or not. I kinda figured, it being Friday night, there might be more to the pic. My life has never been better–spent most of the day in the garage doing maintenance on my trucks and the weather was awesome. Thanks for your good wishes.

        • Cicada

          No good wishes, just a reality check. I have no doubts you'll continue to keep your head up your ass just to keep your ears warm.

    • SorosBot

      BAnd you try to send this message by IntenseDebate? Guess what,we can follow everything you ignore,including the Power Rangers l ? But, here, you escape.

      • Geraldine Ferrari

        Try posting sober.

  • i agree with you! you are right "MetroVaquero84p" . both of them are similar

  • An_Outhouse

    My name is T-Paw and I approve sodomizing you with a broken bottle while I light my cigar with the 100 dollar bill I got for selling your children to a white slave trader.

  • lulzmonger

    Tampons, politicians, toothpaste, wars – all products, all helped by a well-made ad campaign.

    BONUS ROUND: See if you can tell which ones are worth paying for.

  • Tim Pawlenty's "Two Americas" and his plan to keep it that way.

    Can America be convinced that the Republican party is the party of the people? The elite are going to have to forgo a lot of monocles to make that happen.

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