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With Michele Bachmann about to embark on her run for president and make Teabaggers forget about Sarah Palin forever, now’s not the time for old Lou to be abandoning her tried and true methods of getting attention. But that’s just what she seemed to do the other day, when she promised to quit “whining” about media coverage. This must have worried her advisors, because the snowbilly grifter has now refocused her remarks: She will continue to whine, but not about herself. Yeah, sure thing.

As always, the Facebooking from the dump ice palace:

Let’s just acknowledge that commonsense conservatives must be stronger and work that much harder because of the obvious bias. And let’s be encouraged with a sense of poetic justice by knowing that the “mainstream” media isn’t mainstream anymore. That’s why I call it “lamestream,” and the LSM is becoming quite irrelevant, as it is no longer the sole gatekeeper of information.

We don’t think “poetic justice” means what she thinks it does. But why should she? As much as the English language tries to destroy her for what she does to it, it’s never successful.

Why doesn’t Palin go back into journalism if she thinks it’s so rotten? Surely she could get another job reading off college hockey scores. It’s not like she’s doing anything else. [Twitter/Facebook/is it the weekend yet?]

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  • nounverb911

    Once she realizes that Fox is part of the LSM her head will explode.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Quick, somebody tell her!

    • V572 [REDACTED]

      Pretty sure that skull is blastproof. Nothing's ever gotten in.

    • Gopherit

      That's a common misconception. Fox is actually the propaganda arm of the GOP…..relying on "reporting" and "truth" is for suckers. You have to get the fix in from the beginning.

  • WriteyWriterton

    "LSM" = Lou Sarah Malice

    • Not_So_Much

      Shouldn't that actually be spelled 'Loo'?

      • WriteyWriterton

        I defer to LimeyLizzie.

  • neiltheblaze

    Sarah whines, therefore she "is".

  • nounverb911

    "Let’s just acknowledge that commonsense conservatives must be stronger and work that much harder because of the obvious bias. "
    Yes, it's hard work for the commonsense conservatives to hate everyone that isn't them.

  • memzilla

    Sarah, you left your Rusty Camper lights on.

    Also, "whinerforhire.com" is available.

  • Badonkadonkette

    So…she quit whining, and then she quit quitting whining?

  • neiltheblaze

    Quitting is what she does. Whining too.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "How's that whole quitty-whiny thing workin' out for ya?"

    • Radiotherapy

      It's the Palin Doctrine.

  • Jaded[redacted]

    "Conservatives" are neither "common" nor do they have "sense."

    • DaRooster

      Why do they call it common sense when so few people have it?

      • ChessieNefercat

        Maybe it would make more sense (hah!) to call it "thing that people commonly think they have"? Something that people think it is common to have?

        Ah, forget it. Anything described as a common sense solution is a stunningly, jaw-droppingly stupid idea hawked up by a mouth-breathing teatard and thus it needs no further consideration.

    • SorosBot

      Since most of what common sense tells us is actually flat-out wrong, like the Earth being flat and the Sun moving around it, commonsense conservative is actually a good description.

    • Gopherit

      She's running on instinct. It's all those years of stalking moose and bears and such from a helicopter. She has become a mighty predator…..that whines a whole hell of a lot.

  • comrad_darkness

    Only an eight year old with a fixation complex would keep using LSM, over and over again, then claim they aren't whining. Jesus.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "Wanna hear my joke, dad? Huh, huh, wanna hear my joke again, huh huh? Dad, wanna hear my joke again? Dad, dad, listen to my joke again, pleeeease? Huh? You said it was funny. Why don't you wanna listen to it again, huh huh? Ma says she'll make it up to you later but for godsakes just lissen to me now so I'll shut up for ten minutes. Okay now…And remember, you gotta laugh like you did the first time!"

      Like that?

  • jus_wonderin

    She will never STFU. I just pray I am never on a bus with her during an ambush by the Vietcong.

    • FraAnima

      "Didi mao!"

    • Gopherit

      Actually, that would be perfect, because you would be totally justified in smothering her.

  • rocktonsam

    take her cell phone away, that'll stop her whining

  • pukebot

    this is good news for needz moar.

    • PocketsTheClown

      Well done.

  • elviouslyqueer

    MORE THAN EVER, Charlie.

  • baconzgood

    WHINE LIBEL!!!!!!

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    I'm really glad that she explained what "LSM" stood for. It always annoyed me when my students used an acronym but failed to clarify its meaning in their papers. Well done, Lou!

  • El Pinche

    When I'm out of nitrous oxide, I read Palin's facebook comments.
    Lynn Moran: "This is why I watch FOX News."

    • GOPCrusher

      I never have figured out they justify the concept that only Faux Noise broadcasts the truth that a very small minority of American citizens watch.
      Nielsen ratings show that Faux Noise gets crushed in the cable ratings by Spongebob Squarpants and WWE Wrestling on a weekly basis. Cable News channels draw a small number of viewers, and yet they delude themselves into thinking that everything else in the Lamestream Media.

      • El Pinche

        Don't forget every TV in every appliance department in every Walmart is locked on FauxNews. That's gotta be a Nielsen handicap.

  • harry_palmer

    So let's stop whining about me. Let's whine about what you say about me.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Nicely put, and so much more concisely than old Icypants.

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    Sarah Palin fails to accomplish thing she set out to do! Film at 11!

  • Mooselini can see cold turkey from her house.
    ~

    • elviouslyqueer

      Whilst sipping Cold Duck, obvs.

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      A cold, headless turkey…

  • SudsMcKenzie

    I thought we just outsourced her to India.

    • jus_wonderin

      Peggy?

      • SudsMcKenzie

        Thomas?

      • ChessieNefercat

        I'm embarrassed to say I really like those ads. I have no idea what they're advertising (a phone? credit card? bank?) so I guess they're not good ads, But I think they're funny.

  • Redhead

    I'm not sure she knows the meaning of "bias," "accountable" or "others" either.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Multi-syllabic words, all of them, so, yes, I think it's safe to say she doesn't know the meaning of them.

  • Wikipedia says poetic justice is a literary device in which virtue is ultimately rewarded or vice punished, often in modern literature by an ironic twist of fate intimately related to the character's own conduct. –

    Sarah is in deep, odoriferous, quicksand-like shit if facing poetic justice.

    • ThundercatHo

      Yes. I do believe there is a karmic surveryor's mark on her forehead even now.

    • tessiee

      Like those fairy tales where you get your wish, but not like you expected? So, an example of poetic justice in this case, might be…
      Silly Sarah complains about a biased media, there's a poof of magical pink smoke, and there's suddenly an *unbiased* media that reports *accurately* about her?

  • FraAnima

    I think Snowbilly's understanding of "poetic justice" involves Hallmark cards and the Spanish Inquisition, but I could be wrong. Also.

    • ChessieNefercat

      No, I think you are right. What you just said certainly explains her rictus of a smile whenever there is the slightest threat that someone might ask her a question that she hasn't prepared for.

      (And by "prepared for", I mean sending Brissie to the google to look up hitherto unknown terms like "the economy." And then writing the word thingies (short ones, obvs.) on her hand in hopes that they will help her remember what she is going to yammer that she thinks will make her sound like an expert. And by "expert", I mean "idiot.")

  • Frost/Nixon/Robocop

    Thank God Sarah hasn't really stopped complaining about bias in the media. Every other Republican just lets the media call them on their bullshit with good natured aplomb.

  • OkieDokieDog

    GoD bLesS U SArha!1! U juss keePs teli;ng them laMeos LibrUlz Meedias. TEh TruTH hurtZ them THey sOo sTuPid!!1 LovE U SAra! RUn SSarAH ruN!!1 20012!!

    • neiltheblaze

      I didn't know you could speak "Bagger"!

      • OkieDokieDog

        Ah lerneD it on teh INterTUbez witd teh helpz uf lol kittehs und SaRHa Psalin;s TRUe PRatiot "s . U Kan lurn 2bye FRending herr on FaecBUk!!1! OR TWiter 2. It"s relly herr ;not sum FLake Cummie LIBtards,

  • Professional victim promotes personal responsibility. Longwinded bully promotes equality & plurality of voices. Quitter quits quitting. &c.

  • MrsBiggTime

    Funny story: there's a homeless man in my city; I see him 3-4 times a week. I gave him a dollar yesterday, and he just sort of snarled at me "I'll hold LSM accountable MORE THAN EVER! My comment acknowledged personal coverage! Not unfairness to others! Happy to defend others!"
    So I kicked him in the balls and took my dollar back.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Poetic justice.

  • Barbara_i

    I bet she's just itching to get up in a helicopter and shoot Wolf Blitzer.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      who isn't?

      • V572 [REDACTED]

        Little fucker's quicker than you'd think he'd be on those stubby legs.

        • bagofmice

          Given his Jeopardy! performance, quick is not the adjective I would use to describe Wolf.

        • Barbara_i

          Thanks! You made me go and Google his height. *shiver* He is a little strawberry shortcake, isn't he?

          • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

            !

          • tessiee

            T

          • Barbara_i

            ?

          • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

            One does wonder…

          • Barbara_i

            Funny aside, I had to run out yesterday and Eddie, the IT guy swung by my house to synch up the computers. I left AOL opened and minimized. I called Bill and asked him to "ditch it" for me and he thought I meant to change the password to something we couldn't remember. He also renamed Mom's maiden name (security question) No one can get in.

            One does wonder….
            a lot

          • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

            Well, one of us hasn’t gone anywhere ;-)

          • V572del c:/*.* y/n?

            One must be merciless with the short.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    AP STYLE WONKS: I am forcing you to create a permissible twitter writing policy that forbids an attempt to cover every goddamn bullet point like Sister Sarah here. We need to send a message (or a "msg"; I don't give a fuck), so people will stop sending the indecipherable.

    Sarah, bit.ly or ow.ly. Point to your manifesto or press release elsewhere, but cut this stupid shit out.

    • Come here a minute

      Or twit.ly or twat.ly.

  • SorosBot

    Considering that the mainstream media's obvious bias is pro-conservative, why would they have to work harder because of it?

    • V572 [REDACTED]

      Well, there are two schools of thought on that, and MSM endeavors to present both:

      On the Left: Government union members obstructing government with protests, the content of which we consider too boring to recapitulate here
      On the right: Crazed killer union thugs threatening the very fabric blah blah…

      When the letters and emails come in denouncing both portrayals as inadequate, biased or both, this proves that, on the whole, MSM gets it right!

    • Redhead

      I think she meant law enforcement's obvious bias against fucking underage boys, but I could be wrong.

  • DaSandman

    All these Wasilla women do is whine, Lou Sarah for attention and sympathy, Bristol for cock and meth.

    God knows what's up with Willow, we she whine for a better education or lower bail? You be the judge!

    • hagajim

      She's whining for it in the ass…she learned from Bristols mistakes

    • SorosBot

      How quickly we forget; she whines when someone make fun of her mom's failed TLC reality show, someone who's "effin fat as hell" and "your such a faggot".

    • bagofmice

      Whining for cock and meth is such a Haggard tradition.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Okay, I've read over her FB thing three times and still can't make sense of it. It's like a demented Mobius strip of random illogic, all wrapped up a bucket of epic fail.

    • jus_wonderin

      Escherequs?

    • neiltheblaze

      Or in other words, typical Sarah.

    • lulzmonger

      A gutsy endeavor, & a guaranteed goose-egg.
      Sensible Sarah? Easier to find a virgin in a whorehouse (& less traumatic).

  • SayItWithWookies

    I was raised to believe that you don’t retreat when you’re on solid ground; so even though it often seems like I’m armed with just a few stones and a sling against a media giant, I’ll use those small resources to do what I can to set the record straight.

    Sarah, it's just you, the vast resources of NewsCorp, Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, the Wall Street Journal, the Tea Party Express, thousands of little astroturf front groups funded by Dick Armey's friends, Bill Kristol and the Heritage Foundation against the world. A veritable Song of Roland, it is.

    • hagajim

      Don't forget a big pocketful of Kochs

    • "Sarah, Blow the Elephant!"

    • prommie

      Oh god, someone kill me, she's fucking King David.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Oh you hadn't clued into that yet? She's the rustic pastoral girl who's anointed by The LORD to take the throne from the wicked and impetuous Saul and restore the Kingdom to righteousness. Or so she thinks — in reality, she's more like Samson, since her chief weapon is the jawbone of an ass.

        • Jim89048

          I thought his power derived from his weave hair?

        • Mumbletypeg

          "Jawbone of an ass." Brilliant!

      • ChessieNefercat

        Beat me to it.

        Next up, "When I wrote that beautiful psalm that also too, we all know and love, and then as I said to Netanyahu, after apologizing for forgetting my harp, there too as we can all bow to those sacred words in majesty as sung in their native land too among those also chosen people set thereto with a servant's heart…blah, blah, blah…"

  • freakishlywrong

    Pssst…Sarah. Here's a way to get attention. Drive a Segway off a cliff.

  • Todd, will you service your wife? She’s talking again.

    • hagajim

      Can't…busy fucking a real snowwhore

      • V572 [REDACTED]

        Don't talk about Greta that way!

  • Wilcoxyz

    She thought "hold accountable" meant bill for speaking services.

  • jus_wonderin

    Sarah, get off the cross. We want to use it to beat the fuck out of you.

    • ChessieNefercat

      And Jesus is nodding in agreement. So there, Sarah.

  • MrsBiggTime

    Greater love hath no man that she whineth not for himself, but instead, whine for his friends. And also, Amen.

  • edgydrifter

    Another day, another cross to bear. It's hard out there to be a grifter.

  • mavenmaven

    Wonketteers must not miss this classic line in her FB tirade:
    From Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, to who-knows-where tomorrow under a clouded, confused Obama Doctrine, our armed forces are in harm’s way, defending our interests and protecting our freedoms.

    Why does she hate our troops so much?

    • Redhead

      So it was okay for Bush to go into Iraq and Afghanistan for 7 years, but how dare Obama keep the troops there?

    • bagofmice

      Well, at least we know where she stood on the Bush Doctrine.

      • genxr

        In what sense, Charlie?

  • SudsMcKenzie

    She has a great track record with Cold Turkeys.

    • Come here a minute

      Perhaps, but her best blood-stream-media event was with a warm, twitching turkey.

  • ChessieNefercat

    Well, that's because she, unlike everyone else, is perfect. She's perfect in every way, so what is there to hold her accountable for? Also, too.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Yeah, when they made her, they broke the mold. And then they beat the fuck out of the moldmaker.

  • What virtue is being ironically rewarded by Lou's sense of poetic justice? This latest word salad she has brought to the intertube buffet is particularly offensive. Can we have this grifter's poetic license revoked?

  • Chillwaver

    It's the first time I see a the words "Palin," "Quit, "Whining" and "Turkey" in the same headline. Well done, Jack!

  • hagajim

    LSM = Lou Sarah Moron. Looks to me like the only thing the Snowbilly is good at is quitting…first as Gov. and now she has quit on her goal of quitting whining….what a POS.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Sarah honey? Shut the fuck up.

  • Come here a minute

    Would it be poetic justice if she was attacked by a pit bull while putting on lipstick at Trig's hockey game?

  • BZ1

    She will be fighting the good fight for Lou Sarah!

  • CapeClod

    Linking 'common sense' with 'conservative' is the last refuge of the hopelessly self-deluded.

  • Zombie_Reagan

    "Lamestream" media. *Yawn*

    You know Todd snickers every time Lou Sarah uncorks that gem.

    • genxr

      It's like fart jokes. They never get old.

  • ChessieNefercat

    No, I think you are right. What you just said certainly explains her rictus of a smile whenever there is the slightest threat that someone might ask her a question that she hasn't prepared for.

    (And by prepared for, I mean sending Brissie to the google to look up hitherto unknown words like "the economy", and then writing whatever word thingies (the short ones, obvs.) on her hand that might conceivably help her babble out some some senseless yammerings that she thinks make her sound like an "expert." And by "expert", I mean "idiot.")

    • el_donaldo

      a) Bill Cronon is an awesome dude – definitely read his blog entry that Fallows links to.

      b) Scott Walker and his goons get scarier with each revelation. It's going to get uglier before (if it ever) gets better.

    • Toomush_Infer

      Wow…..

    • SorosBot

      Every time you think Walker can't possibly top himself, he does.

    • user-of-owls

      "I have here in my hand a list of 205—a list of names that were made known to the Secretary of Wonkette as being known users of superscript.

  • Grief_Lessons

    That comment is a little bit of poetry in itself. Much like what Chaucer said about the Wife of Bath:

    Nor poesy nor justice would she ken
    Less either kick her rancid poontang in.

    • user-of-owls

      Bravo! For me it brought to mind James Joyce's passage:

      STATELY, PLUMP BUCK MULLIGAN CAME FROM THE STAIRHEAD, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed….

      [137 pages]

      …put the boot to 'er feckin' cunt.

      • Grief_Lessons

        Or the conclusion of Hemingway's Hills Like White Elephants:

        "It's not really an operation at all, Jig. It's just to let the air in."

        The girl looked at the ground beneath the table. The condensation beaded on her glass.

        I kicked her in the cunt.

        • user-of-owls

          Bully! But let us not neglect Garcia Marquez:

          José Arcadio Buendía's son, Arcadio José Buendía, was quietly reminiscing about his abuelo, Buendía Arcadio José when she walked up the narrow pathway to the garden. Her name was Joséfina Arcadio Buendía and she attended a different, more prestigious school than he did. As she neared, he rose up from his languid repose as if to greet her, but instead he kicked her in the cunt.

          • Grief_Lessons

            I'd forgotten that one.

            Lewis Carrol:

            He took his vorpal sword in hand:
            Long time the manxsome foe he sought
            and kicking cuntlets 'gainst the flue
            amid the breen and bumbelshot

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Since you brought up Hemmingway, there's this bit from A Farewell to Arms:

          'Miss Van Campen,' I said, 'did you ever know a man who tried to disable himself by kicking himself in the scrotum' ?" And then to give her an idea, I kicked her in the cunt.'

    • neiltheblaze

      I had no idea that "poontang" dates back to Chaucer.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Yes, the Wonkette is so educational, isn't it? I certainly refer to a dictionary more often when reading the Wonkette than when reading any other news site. Okay, usually it's the Urban Dictionary, but still!

        Does it really date back to Chaucer?

        • Grief_Lessons

          There was poontang before there was Chaucer. What else would Chaucer have come out of?

          • Radiotherapy

            A cunt?

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Yes, but it's spelled 'pountaynge' in the Olde English.

          Derived from ancient Celtic 'poun' (comforting, satisfying) and 'tanygei' (most likely an early Gallic dialect word for 'place to put your willie').

          • ChessieNefercat

            Okay, I'm really gullible. Should I brag about my new found etymological bonbon, or are you making this up as you go along?

          • Grief_Lessons

            No, you should totally use this at cocktail parties, black tie dinners, the upcoming royal wedding, etc. It's conversational solid gold.

          • ChessieNefercat

            Oh boy (she said and bustled off to get ready, forgetting that she doesn't go to cocktail parties or black tie events, and hasn't been invited (strangely enough!) to the royal wedding.

  • undeterredbyreality

    "We don’t think “poetic justice” means what she thinks it does."

    I read this comment from Jack and wondered, "Where does she mention poetic justice? Must be in a link I didn't click." Went back and re-read the post, focussing on her quotes. Several times. Still didn't see the "poetic justice" reference. Finally had to turn on the "find" function to find it. WTF? It's right there! Why couldn't I see it?

    I choose to think it's a matter of my training reading undergraduate papers for years. I've developed a form of cognitive dissonance that allows me to mentally skip over the words that just don't make sense on my first read-through so I can at least have some idea of what the writer is talking about. I ignore the words that don't fit or mean anything connected to the argument. Later I will go back and mark these, of course.

    Shorter version: If the words don't fit, you must omit.

    • dox[acted]

      Holy shit, I'm doing that RIGHT NOW (err, I mean, taking a break from it…) grading short answer quizzes. [scan scan] concept [scan scan] definition [scan scan] example. If I can roughly locate all three, full credit. They could write excerpts from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion in between and at this stage I wouldn't notice.

    • genxr

      Same thnig heppaned to me, its lkie our brians trun on autopliot when Lou Sarah strats takling copmlete nonesnse so jsut nod and say yaeh okay. It raelly wroks!

  • Good for her, it's the only thing she's not quit. Ever…

    Neiman covering all over my chest (chest) I don't quit no!
    I just tweet harder (Yea! ) than I ever did before going for
    The dreams that I have in store in my mind (mind) and I know
    That I'm makin it I gotta get mine and nobody's takin it away
    (No! ) cause Sarah don't play that you try to get mine
    Boy you better step back freeze (freeze) cause
    You don't want none I grift for my gifts and you look
    Weak Press (real weak) yea!… I'm goin for all that I can get
    Grifting at the top cause I'm too dumbshit to quit… sing!…

    Too dumbshit… Too dumbshit to quit (hey… hey…) Too dumbshit… too
    dumbshit… Too dumbshit to quit… (hey…) Too dumbshit… Too dumbshit to quit
    (Too dumbshit…) too dumbshit… too dumbshit to quit…

  • fartknocker

    My strapping nephew is about to turn 18 and in addition to being charming and good looking, he's hung like a horse. What Sarah needs to do is quit the twitter thing and become a cougar. She would find it much more pleasurable and it would put her in a much better mood. Plus, it would help build my nephew's confidence. Win, win.

    • ChessieNefercat

      If your nephew is good looking and charming (never mind his other pleasing attributes), couldn't we find him a nice lady cougar to instruct him in the vays of loff? Someone who wouldn't scar his psyche for life?

      I get the distinct impression from our little Sarah's tirades this past year that she a) doesn't like sex, b) doesn't like men, and c) does like emasculating any man foolish enough to innocently believe that he is in fact, a man.

      • LetUsBray

        Yeah, I suspect after an encounter with those teeth your nephew wouldn't be hung like a horse any more.

        Still, I gotta second HELisforHEL's question below, also too.

    • HELisforHEL

      Uh…I'm afraid to ask, but why do you know about his nether region dimensions? :-)

    • tessiee

      Send your nephew to me; Tessie will give the li'l darlin' the right start.
      *flutters eyelashes flirtatiously*

  • metamarcisf

    Since the lamestream media is so increasingly irrelevant, it won't be long until Palin can quit whining forever. Also, Breitbart says "White House is beneath her", which brings to mind a funny story…

  • user-of-owls

    Other than being ludicrous and Fox-related, this has nothing to do with the post. Earlier, of the Fox front page (now demoted) was an article titled "Padded Bikinis For Eight-Year Olds." Clearly they know their demographics. But more hilarious still was this passage:

    “This is appalling! If a parent buys a padded bikini for an eight year old, children's services should be called! The sexualization of teens is bad enough and now this trend is trickling down to our babies,” parenting expert Dr. Janet Rose told FOX411’s Pop Tarts column.

    Poetic justice one might say.

  • Makes a lot of sense in an alternate, insane universe: I never whine about how I am mistreated, slighted or otherwise made unhappy; I only whine when it happens to other people because I think only of them.

  • prommie

    She done quit quittin' quittin'.

    • jus_wonderin

      It's like calculating Pi.

  • WhatTheHeck

    The woman doth protest too much.

    (I apologize for the use of olde English, but Sarah Lou obviously does not understand new English).

    • ChessieNefercat

      Or any English, really. At any rate, she certainly can't speak it.

  • dox[acted]

    Sarah Palin's bold transition from professional whine to professional scold will open up an untold wealth of topics formerly written off as none of her damn business. Luckily, the difference between "I have something to say about me" and "I have something to say about you" is small enough to require almost no change in form, content or tone.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Yup, you're absolutely right.

      "I have something to say about what people are saying about what you are saying about MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

      ♪♫Me, glorious me, marvelous me, wonderful meeee♫♪

  • Chillwaver

    Brokeback Sarah: "Whining: I Wish I Knew How To Quit You!"

  • Toomush_Infer

    I just keep going back over that phrase about conservatives having to work so much harder because of the bias against them….I'm envisioning folks who see a universal and paranoic underdog vision of themselves as fat, weak, stupid and undeservedly wealthy or attempting to become so – it forms such a wide band of psychological insecurity as to need a diagnosis – hence Conservatism! (Tm)……

  • PsycWench

    , "I'm through whining about a liberal press that holds particularly conservative women to a different standard, because it doesn't do any good to whine about it." in the original story, so she never quit to begin with. Amazingly.

    • neiltheblaze

      Good catch.

  • OneDollarJuana

    "Duh. Whining."

  • ChessieNefercat

    "Sarah Palin Unable To Quit …"

    Shoot, quitting was the one thing that knothead had actually mastered. Goodness, she is just a big old fail on so many levels, isn't she? Bless her heart.

  • baconzgood

    So she refudiated her whining statement.

  • Hatrabbit

    There's a patch for that, It's called duct tape. Apply across mouth opening.

    It's been certified safe for mouth breathers too. maybe.

    Try it and see, Sarah.

    • HELisforHEL

      Wrap an additional bit across her nose.
      Wrap her wrists behind her back.
      Wrap ankles.
      Throw her into the sea.

      /Problem solved

  • genxr

    Or if you drive a rusty camper, BOOSIAH and STEAK.

  • BlueStateLibel

    In other words: Pay attention to me, wah!

  • genxr

    Poetic justice means abolish the free press. How Shakespearean!

  • V572 [REDACTED]

    She's kinda like us! Just not as smart, accomplished and attractive.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Sarah…come down off the cross we can use the wood.

  • fuflans

    sarah honey here is some poetry:

    rudesby be gone.

  • jonzin

    Can't one of the hundreds of UFOs that visit this country each year beam her up and do some anal probing on her? Jesus titty fucking christ. When will she just shut the fuck up?

    • ChessieNefercat

      They just come here to see what that screeching noise is being beamed out through the galaxy. Then they flee back to Betelgeuse and warn others not to visit our hicksville solar system.

  • hollywooddood

    I'm a total cunt, so I know $arah is, too, also.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    LSM = Lou in the Sky with Methdiamonds.

  • occams8ball

    LSMFT?

    • ChessieNefercat

      Hey, I just got it! That's an oldie.

  • DownFist Troll

    According to Sister Sarah, Bill Maher = de media.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Speaking of which, a certain literary caveman I know highly recommends the very funny God Knows , an "autobiography" by King David, penned by Joseph Heller, the guy who wrote Catch 22 and others.

  • genxr

    When she says "Happy to defend others re: bias" does she mean muslims?

    • ChessieNefercat

      I'd love to see the look on her face when a reporter asks her that. Oh wait, she doesn't do that whole talk to reporters thing.

    • tessiee

      No, she means *real* bias, i.e., bias against wealthy, white, conservative Christians.

  • Radiotherapy

    If I may so as join in the Wonkette Friday Afternoon Literary Roundtable this from Merle Haggard's 1889 masterwork Ceopatra:
    It was naught–naught but the mind that, in such a house of Horror,
    bodies forth those shadowy forms of fear it dreads to see. Nay, I must
    look upon these emeralds; indeed, if I die, I must look! Come–to the
    work!" and stooping, she with her own hands lifted from the tomb one
    of the four alabaster jars, each sealed with the graven likeness of the
    heads of the protecting Gods, that held the holy heart and entrails of
    the Divine Menkau-ra. For the lack of treasure, the bitter ashes of failure, aiming for her asp, his muddied boot fell squarely on her perineum.

  • Guppy06

    She'll quit whining about media coverage about herself… through that particular Twitter account…

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'm not sure I want to make fun of Sarah Palin anymore, since it is becoming painfully obvious she either suffers from clinical depression or has a personality disorder, and needs professional help and/or medication for her problems.

    • ThundercatHo

      or?

    • tessiee

      "has a personality disorder,"

      I'm thinking Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

  • ttommyunger

    One of my Rightard Facebook friends posted a shot of him and the Snowbilly Grifter arm in arm, both smiling like shit-eating cats. I commented that although her left arm was out of view behind him, I knew where the hand was: IN HIS FUCKING POCKET!

  • __kth__

    The clarification is that she isn't going to defend herself, but will still refudiate the msm when they print what some other teanut actually said. But that seems like a loophole big enough to drive a snowmachine through.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    I hate violence, I want World Peace. Too often some Republicans have the fighting instincts of sheep, and as I'm given to saying fondly, I won't retreat on solid ground. I'll show any of em, all of em, my knee-jerk wild shots from behind the safety of my children comes first – and will ignore LSM questions later.

  • e_z

    Charlie Sheen…"Winning!"

    Sara Palin…"Whining!"

  • Then Abednigo laid with the Braying Ass and begat LouSarah
    who, being screechy and also much Pustulent,
    was cast down from on high yet halfway unto her Just End,
    and thus spake the Lord:
    "Thou foul crawler upon the bellies of others, let all the generations of Israel
    kick thee in the cunt."

    • user-of-owls

      Wisdom of the ages. Cast our eyes, too, toward the Bhagavad Gita, which says:

      Although Arjuna knew that Vishnu was his friend and the Supreme Godhead, he was puzzled by the various forms exhibited by Vishnu. In order to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty and, to impress him, Vishnu takes on his multi-armed form and says, 'Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.'

      Then he punched Arjuna in the cunt with all of his arms.

  • glamourdammerung

    Sarah Palin does not even hold Sarah Palin accountable for anything. So I am not sure how she thinks she can hold anything accountable.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "So I am not sure how she thinks she can hold anything accountable. "
      That's because you are not in Sarah Palin's Logicland. It's right down the road from the creationist museum with the rodeo dinosaurs.

  • Warpde

    Hey, hey, hey.
    You cunt use that word here.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    sorry, I'm longing for a Peggy Noonan post.

  • lulzmonger

    MORAL: You can't teach an old whore not to turn a new trick.

    "Happy to defend others re: bias"

    Ran out of Tweet before she could get to "with any contribution of $5,000 or more to SarahPAC."

  • Walkinwiddaking

    Hey, fuck you guys. At least she has that best selling TLC series, Sarah Pallin's Alaska to fall back on.

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