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Who knew his latest wife was teevee's Ally McBeal?Amoral pudgesack Newt Gingrich loves only two things: divorcing his old wives after he gives them cancer, and stuffing his albino-hamster face with Easter candies to “prove” he loves his current wife, for the time being. But now his holiday gluttony is as hidden away as the records of his many cruel divorces against his dying spouses, because Newt Gingrich deleted all his old Twitter posts. It’s really no surprise, because Newt Gingrich is exactly the kind of self-obsessed slob who would document his joy in slobbering all over Reese’s peanut-butter Easter Eggs on a day when real Christians are solemnly marking the death of Jesus — and he’s exactly the kind of lying fraud who would spend hours going through his old Twitter posts to delete all the ones that don’t look very “presidential candidate-ish,” because they are openly racist or speak of anal sex with sea pirates as a “punishment” or, apparently, because they reveal the Newt’s childish glee over some bunny-shaped sweets from the Walgreen’s.

Former Wonkette editor Juli Weiner reports for Vanity Fair on her discovery of these missing tweets that were first noted by Wonkette (whut?):

These tweets and all others composed before July 22, 2010 are unable to be found. According to Twitter, Gingrich has written more than 2,300 tweets, but just a small portion of the sum total are currently available on his feed. Additionally, permalinks to many earlier tweets are broken. It also does not appear to be a normal Twitter thing: tweets from Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IO) and Meghan McCain (“R”-Daily Beast), for instance, are still around from two years ago.

HaHa, “R”-Daily Beast.

Anyway, if America’s Republicans needed any more evidence that LOLcat-headed fartbag Newt Gingrich is not an acceptable true American who loves Jesus, his sneakily callous removal of these snide, mocking tweets about Jesus’ birthday, Easter, should be enough to send the foul frogneck to the back of the GOP line. [VF Daily]

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