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Thursday is the day before Friday, unfortunately.
Oh no. This is like an effeminite kid telling YouTube not to call him gay. Look what everybody did on Twitter! We upset Chuck Grassley. No, the Twitter character limit is not 120, it’s 140. And no, it’s not explained why Grassley needs to shorten the word “about” here when his message is less than 100 characters, or why he feels the need to capitalize “but,” or why he doesn’t use any punctuation. Old man Grassley was using proper English when your parents hadn’t even been born yet, so LAY OFF.

And really, it’s not like his tweets are that bad. Let’s just take a look at two of his most recent ones!

Put this in the English textbooks. It's perfect.
See, there are like four whole words here you can understand — “of,” “at,” “I,” and “really.” That’s all you need, right? Don’t be such a dirktor, you guys.

This was in the Globe Theater.
This one makes sense too, when you think about it. A pathetic 14 Iowans came to see Grassley speak about the importance of migrating ethanol debt into wetlands that educate endangered animals about Libya. Only 14? That sounds pretty exciting.

You children on the Internet should stop cyber-bullying this poor grandpa. He just wants to inform you of the current scores of women’s college basketball games he’s attending! LEAVE GRASSLEY ALONE! [Twitter]

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