just like her favorite conspiracy theorists

Sharron Angle Forced To Self-Publish Her Book

Oh how the mighty crazies fall.

Tea party favorite Sharron Angle is spending thousands of dollars to self-publish an autobiography about her life and values. […]

As a self-publisher, Angle has control over the design and editing of her book, titled “Right Angle.” The Nevada Republican is hoping for an April release.

Just drop by her house and she’ll have one of the grandkids print you off a copy! It was dictated to them them the past few weeks, and they jotted it down in crayon, so it’ll probably be perfectly copyedited.

Don’t miss the great picture of a Lisa Frank eagle nuzzling the baby Jesus on the cover! [NPR]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  • HalluxValgus

    "and then on Thursday, I saw a cat. I didn't like that cat, because it was brown. Stupid illegal Mexican cat…. but then I thought the cat looked kind of Siamese"

  • BlueMonkeh

    What – to crappy for even Regnery to buy?

    • Sue4466

      Which is saying aLOT.

  • nounverb911

    Can I pay her for the book with a chicken? Oops, wrong Nevada crazy lady.

    • DaRooster

      Howz about a duck?

    • Crank_Tango

      Shit I thought it was the same lady. Well, keep fucking that chicken I guess…

  • Hatrabbit

    That's one book that'll never have any pages stuck together.

    • teebob2000

      I assume it'll have all her wisdom accumulated over the course of her life. So in other words, one page cannot by definition stick together.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Apparently it was even too weird for Marvel Comics.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Losing to Harry Reid is not a superpower.

      • CthuNHu

        Oh yeah? Then show me someone else who could have done it.

        Someone whose name doesn't rhyme with "Shpooamar Blahdafi"

  • Hatrabbit

    She's come a long way since the old Wonkette story: "Sharron Angle Forced To Self-Read A Book."

  • Troubledog

    I'll wait for the movie.

    • nounverb911

      Sharon Angle to be played by the ever lovely Smurfette.

      • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

        I'm voting for Gary Busey as Angle, Steve Buscemi as Reid, and Ted Nugent as the Second Amendment.

    • Radiotherapy

      Isn't the book always better than the movie?

  • SorosBot

    I'm pleasantly surprised she didn't turn to second-amendment solutions to make someone publish it.

  • SexySmurf

    You know who else self-published an autobiography about their life and values?

    • metamarcisf

      Carrot Top?

    • Not_So_Much

      L. Ron Hubbard?

    • SorosBot

      The Marquis de Sade?

    • Conflabberdaddled

      Bill Bennett?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Ted Kaczynski?

    • Crank_Tango

      was it Sarah Palin's "My Struggle"?

      • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

        Including a detailed account of Hitler's heartbreak over Eva Braun's affair with an Inuit masseuse?

      • Radiotherapy

        Mein Alaskampf I-II

    • TanzbodenKoenig

      Gilgamesh?

    • Radiotherapy

      Anyone with presidential aspirations?

    • Grief_Lessons

      Hitler! Hitler! It's fucking Hitler! Why can't you people see what he's talking about?

      • WriteyWriterton

        Easy on the throttle/spittle there, big guy/gal. And who or what, exactly, is the "it" that's f*^#ing Hitler?

        • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

          Hopefully it is a huge demon with a giant dick made of fire and thorns.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Alastair Crowely?

  • OC_xenon-133_Serf

    Oh Noes…A Teabagger™ with a Commodore PET and dot-matrix printer screeds a manifesto

    • Radiotherapy

      What, she couldn't just tweet this out in under 140 characters?

  • Come here a minute

    You say that like it's a bad thing — now she's an author and a publisher. Time to update the old C.V.!

    • jus_wonderin

      And a book binder. Next up, candlestick making.

  • http://wonkette.com/ ويجا المجلس

    Well you have to salute her pluck. Do you know how difficult it is to get supplies for a mimeograph machine?

    • Crank_Tango

      snnnnniiiiiffffffffff mmmmm smells like bananas!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Keep plucking that chicken, Sharron.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Based on the kind of crap that Regnery and its subsidiaries dump on the market from brain dead right wing fucknuts this must be one of the worst manuscripts ever produced in whatever language it is written.

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      Surely it has been translated from the Olde Cuntish.

  • GuyClinch

    Book stores will stock it in the "Mental-Health Disorders" section.

  • Callyson

    "The Nevada Republican is hoping for an April release"
    Happy April Fool's Day!

    • BlueMonkeh

      That is one long happy ending.

  • user-of-owls

    When I was in Cuba many years ago, they had these open-air used book markets in Havana. The problem was selection. You'd see something like a lawnmower manual, a three-volume set commemorating the 1977 visit of the Prime Minister of Comorros, and then nothing but oceans of Che Guevara's "On Revolution." They must have printed billions of them. It took me a while to figure out why every other Cuban seemed to be hawking the exact same book (other than limitless supply and a comical unfamiliarity with basic capitalism). Then it finally clicked: chronic shortages of toilet paper.

    And now, at long last, you see the point of my post.

  • Not_So_Much

    She'll need the big 64 box of Crayolas. Maybe two, since she'll be using a lot of 'burnt umber' on teh brownez.

    • PublicLuxury

      She doesn't possess the fine motor skills needed for the 64 box of Crayolas. She is still at the Palmer stage and needs the So Big Crayolas.

    • magnetite

      No matter how many times it hasn't worked out well for her, she always eats "the ones that say they're food".

  • Steverino247

    More like: "Off on a Tangent" than "Right Angle" if you ask me.

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    She was going to title it "The Protocols of the Elders of Juárez", but her intended audience wouldn't buy a book with Messican in the title.

  • V5¹∞ª℠≠½6³√•4°

    Aren't all autobiographies about the author's life? C'mon, NPR, you've still got Joan Kroc's money to hire editors with!

  • mavenmaven

    She looks sort of Asian in that picture on the NPR page, no? You all look sort of Asian to me!

    • Tommmcatt

      I'm Asian by injection!

  • Steverino247

    Other title ideas:

    A Mind That Lost Itself

    Self-Loathing in Las Vegas

    It's Not the Heat, It's the Stupidity

    SHARRON: The Second R Stands for Right

    • VaWyo

      Viewing the World Through A Right-Angle Lense

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      and the first R is for retard?

  • Guppy06

    Sounds pretty obtuse to me.

  • hagajim

    Don't worry – she'll sell 10,000 copies to her campaign and then give them away….what a scam.

  • chascates

    Sharron, the hardest part is stapling the pages together so don't make it too long.

  • Badonkadonkette

    But how much will she pay Victoria Jackson to play her in the adaptation?

  • Gopherit

    Ah, self published books. I bet Amazon is just waiting with bated breath for the pre-orders.

  • OC_xenon-133_Serf

    "Obtuse Angle"

    /fixed

    • WriteyWriterton

      You. Beat. Me.

  • mourningnmerica

    "Shart Angle – More than Just Hot Air"

  • MinAgain

    I smell a book burning!

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    "Write Angle"?
    "Try Angle"?
    "Angle Soft"? (for the TP'ers)

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      I tried Angle once. As expected, it tasted like hate and cheap perfume.

  • PalinPussyPower

    When this hits the bookshelves, I will go to my local Barnes & Noble. I will move half the copies to the "Psychology" section and the other half to "Lesbian Erotica". You're welcome.

    • BlueMonkeh

      My husband likes to pick up Coultergeist's books and leave them in the mens bathroom.

  • widestanceroman

    'Angleberries' is more to the point.

  • Jim89048

    Today is the first time I've ever been happy about the fact that my small desert town in Nevada doesn't have a bookstore.

  • neiltheblaze

    Whatsamattah – Regnery not interested?

    • OneYieldRegular

      Now that was just plain mean.

      • neiltheblaze

        Why, thank you.

  • OneYieldRegular

    The article bloatedly says Angle recently "contracted the book with the leading self-publishing company." Judging from this leading self-publishing company's web site, it looks like I could simply go online and "contract" my own autobiography of Sharron Angle in a matter of seconds.

    • bflrtsplk

      "Contract" means it's contagious?

      • OneYieldRegular

        Through irresponsible behavior, you know.

  • __kth__

    Impossible that there aren't enough teatards willing to postpone a trip to the bingo parlor to drop a Jackson for this. Either it's a bluff in response to a lowball figure from a publishing house, or it's a scam.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Between the self-publishing costs and the fee for a ghost-writer, writing a book can get really expensive!

  • WriteyWriterton

    I thought "Obtuse Angle" might be more accurate, but I'm just a stoopind liebrill.

  • WriteyWriterton

    "Eww! There's Christine O'Donnell all over my book!"

  • mumbly_ジョジョ

    Far Right Angle would probably be more accurate, honestly.

  • Jason_inthe_Peg

    You say forced to self-publish. As though she had no choice but to print the damned thing.

  • PublicLuxury

    She is self-publishing of her autobiography??? OMG She's going to run against Barack Obama as liberal conservative

  • magnetite

    That's the sequel. From Every Angle.

  • magnetite

    Is she going to self-pulp it as well?

  • ttommyunger

    Little Miss Troll-Face has been forced to "do" for herself most of her life, seeing as how even the Arizona male has some standards in the area of fuckability, so; no surprises here.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    It is with apology to Wonkette that I actually like the clever title of her book. Sad and pathetic as it may be.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Definitely not a cute angle.