Bachmann Going To Officially Run For President As Soon As They Make Her

By this point, the Republicans who are going to run for president all have to know they're doing it, right? It's not like any of these people have to "talk it over with their family"; nobody's going to let expendable things like a spouse or children get in the way of their rightful place on the big stage before a roaring sitting ovation of adoring old Teabaggers on scooters. According to CNN, Michele Bachmann is planning on filing her exploratory committee in June, though she will get that set up earlier if it's a requirement for her to enter debates. We can all breathe a sigh of relief — Michele Bachmann is running for president, and she's bringing her into-the-distance banshee death glare to the speakey contests.

But if she knows she's running now, why wait till June? Bachmann is traveling around these early primary states like a common floozy right now, even though she has yet to put on her white dress and make the commitment before God and the community to run for president. Campaigning is only safe and proper within the bounds of an official presidential run. She should abstain from it and save her purity while she still can. Campaigning is a special thing, and waiting until you've filed the papers and can share it with a devoted electorate is the greatest gift you can give to them. It's cynical to do it now just because you promise to file in a few months. If you think you're ready for this commitment, you should just file now, Michele.

Haven't you learned from Bristol Palin's mistakes at all? [ CNN ]