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This woman is getting dangerously close to becoming self-aware. “I’m through whining about a liberal press that holds conservative women to a different standard because it doesn’t do any good to whine about it,” she said. What will be the point of her life if it’s not take umbrage and whine about everything? That’s her job. If she doesn’t have that, she’s officially unemployed.

Another startling admission: “When a shot is taken at me, it is water off a duck’s back because I know the important things we need to concentrate on in life.” It’s never seemed like “water off a duck’s back,” not that we know what that means, because we are not ducks, but we will assume it’s some sort of equivalent duck analogy for “water under the bridge.” When did Sarah Palin turn into a duck and develop a thick duck skin? And how long can she stay that way?

Palin’s last twittering came on Monday:

Somebody's upset about that paywall! Just kidding, she can't read.

So she hasn’t been a duck for too long. But we expect she will start to whine about the media again when she needs attention, and will immediately turn from being a duck into whatever less intelligent being she was previously. [The Hill]

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  • If she floats like a duck, she must be a witch. Or do I have her confused with some other bubble-headed rightly maligned conservative woman?

    • BlueMonkeh

      Burn her!

    • DaRooster

      Let's hold her head under water for 15 minutes… if she is still breathing… then she is a WitchDuckHen…

      Then commence with stoking the fire… 'cuz WitchDuckHen is friggin' delicious.

    • Chillwaver

      Turds float also, too. Amen.

  • Beowoof

    I am sure she will continue to quack like the Aflac duck everytime someone calls her out on her bullshit. The trainers have finally been able to get her to say something reasonable and she got a cookie for it.

    • It's a given. Like sunlight during the day, Downfister being a pathetic chickenshit or when a Teabagger gets diabeetus 2.

    • DaRooster

      Her voice is about the same as Gilbert Gottfried's…

      • horsedreamer_1

        But no way she lasts as long as he did.

        She'll either get fired after a fortnite, or quit after three months.

  • Schmannnity

    More turkey than duck

    • That's a cut above.

      • Schmannnity

        True, though is the antithesis of duck dark meat.

    • She's a turducken of ignorance, vanity, and bile.

      • horsedreamer_1

        John Madden: [comes]

    • mrpuma2u

      One of the more common birds of Alaska is the Loon. This is the aquatic waterfowl appellation she deserves.

  • I was confused. I thought she was being truthful and called herself a dumb fuck.

    I guess I misheard it like when I thought Jimi Hendrix sang "excuse me while I kiss this guy."

  • OC_xenon-133_Serf

    a liberal press that holds conservative women to a different standard

    yeah, just trying to hold you to the standard you keep trying to force on everyone else

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      I bet that MichelleO would love that "different standard" applied to her and her "Let's Move" anti-fat fuck campaign. Nobody even mentions that, do they" Oh, wait..

  • She's not a canard either, she's a con-artiste.

    • MildMidwesterner

      But Boehner is still canard a l'orange.

      • NorthStarSpanx

        More like a con stylist.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Now if only she'd give up talking.

    • SexySmurf

      or breathing.

  • MrsBiggTime

    If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck, she's still a whiny twat.

  • johnnymeatworth

    "I'm done whining about media, here on the first stop of my 'No More Whining About Media' Farewell Tour…."

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      The day she stops whining about the media (or whines about whining about the media) I really thing she will cease to exist. *Poof!* and like that, she was gone…

    • MegPasadena

      "But first let me whine about media holding me at a different standard. They should hold me more accountable."

  • Cicada

    Her mouth just wrote a check that her ego can't cash.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Excellent comment on which to start my morning.

      • Cicada

        Aw, shucks.
        *blushes*

  • V5¹∞ª℠≠½6³√•4°

    So now she's palinating about how she's not going to palinate any more?

  • OC_xenon-133_Serf

    Does the Pope shit in the woods?

    • SorosBot

      What is she whining about anyway, The Nation and a few blogs? Because that's the only liberal press that exists in America.

      • SorosBot

        OK, this is the second time since yesterday I've had a reply come up on a different comment than I meant; since the one this should go to was a) also made by OC-xenon and b) too far apart to have been on the screen at the same time, I think this is some new weird IntenseDebate bug.

      • horsedreamer_1

        & while The Nation uses paper-stock one might expect of a Weekly Shopper or City Paper, in comparison to its ideological mirror, National Review, it is downright academic.

        NR, really, is the Hit n' Run comments section with the imprimatur of Yale (from founder W.F. Buckley, Jr.).

    • riverside68

      I thought the question was Does a wild bear shit on the pope?

    • mumbly_ジョジョ

      Things like this really just make me want to say "Hillary Clinton" over and over and over again. Remember, anytime Hillary said anything that referenced her being a woman, or referenced the irrational hate thrown her direction by conservatives, the response from the right was "Well That Just Proves She Can't Hack It With The Big Boys".

      So, I guess it's true that we hold conservative women a *different* standard: we expect liberal women to be poised, knowledgable, serious, competant and not particularly petty, you know, even though they're women.

  • memzilla

    This video is overexposed and has no contrast… much like its subject.

  • The_Great_Gazoo

    Duh…winning…errrr, I mean whining.

  • El Pinche

    That video needed subtitles. All I heard was "wah wah wah wah" through a douche bag.

  • How meta, holding a presser to whine about how you're not going to whine about the mean peoples covering your presser.

  • Badonkadonkette

    Someone check my math here…Sarah Palin quits everything at the halfway point. She's been a whiner her entire life so we'll have to endure the Quitta from Wasilla for another…what, 47 years?

    sigh

    • DaRooster

      Worry not.

      We won't be around that long at this rate.

    • VaWyo

      My fear is that she will get elected president and then, for the first time her life, she will not quit.

    • Radiotherapy

      QUIT whining.

  • Nopantsmcgee

    She's more of a vulture, than duck.

    My apologies to any vultures that may be reading this.

  • SorosBot

    It's meta for her to whine about the press while saying she's going to whine about the press anymore.

  • Rev. Bob

    If she won't take it, what do I do with all this umbrage?

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    Well, I'll believe this when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet!

    • Conflabberdaddled

      hmmm…. if it attracts the right people… as the exploits of another beloved animal species have found… I smell a business opportunity…

  • CliveWarren

    You know how some people like to stick a chicken up a duck's ass and then stuff that abomination into a turkey rectum. Yeah, she is that duck.

    • 教授 Zoom

      I need more coffee. I first read that as "You know who else liked to stick a chicken up a duck's ass and then stuff that abomination into a turkey rectum?"
      And I was looking forward to the answers.

    • bagofmice

      So you're saying we have avoided the "duck duck goose" contingency by adding some cock?

  • Jack, do like your Faux News frame capture that appears to announce that Palin attempted to place a bomb along the MLK parade route. I'd give you an up fist if I could for that!

    • Radiotherapy

      It's an old surveyor problem that frequently happens with graphic overlays.

  • "Holds to a different standard" = accurately reports what she said, not what she thought she meant if she understood what someone gave her to say.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      First thing she done when becoming Governor she allocated public funds to hire a media consultant to elevate her profile and catch the Lower 48's eye. She was flashing her burning thighs from way back. Once the media decided they weren't in love with her, she started her love-hate relationship, stalking the MSM with the desperation of a scorned lover.

      If I believed everything the media said about me through their filter there, I wouldn't like me either. – Never truer words spoken by the one who lies like she breaths.

      • I recall a certain snarky political blog dubbing her a GILF long before she was on the national scene.

        • SorosBot

          Sarah Palin is all the fault of this Layne guy here:
          http://wonkette.com/219223/gilf-alaskas-first-gal

          "Governor Palin is a Crazy Maverick who is against Corruption and obliterated Governor Jabba the Hutt Frank Murkowski in the Republican primary. Palin is just 42 and came out of nowhere; she was mayor of a small town. Otherwise, we don’t know anything about her, but we do hope she seeks national office soon because the Capitol is filled with scary old men wandering around in their pajamas and she could really class up the joint."

          • NorthStarSpanx

            Being attractive and unknown has its benefits. It almost bought her a 4-8 year lease at the Naval Observatory.

            I spoke with a former AP reporter last week who said Sarah pointedly said "Those people (Alaska Natives, Eskimo, Indian and Aleut) didn't support me so why should I support them?" when asked about Subsistence rights for Alaska's Indigenous peoples over the constitutionally mandated recognition of "all" Alaskans having equal access to hunting and fishing resources.

            Her editor refused to let her publish that quote, and so it went, the Alaska media was enamored by her, and wanted her to be Governor.

          • horsedreamer_1

            The hate-fuck from Todd must have been intense after that.

            In fact, maybe the quote was just foreplay?

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Y'know, I was a pretty regular reader of the Mudflats for well over a year, and as I understand it, back when she actually got elected Gov, most Alaskans (including Democrats) would have voted for a hundred kilos of rotted government cheese in preference to Frank the Bank (and they did, I guess, with metaphors or something).

            Seriously, it appears that back in 2006, the Alaskunt was less corrupt than Murkowski, apparently because of fewer opportunities.

        • mnotrtoo

          I'll take this: No apology! Who was to know she was sexting the Weekly Standard, knowing full well they were the pageant judges for Walnuts!' Miss Lost Odyssey Dawn.

  • Chillwaver

    She's done whining? What is she gonna do for living then?

  • I can't wait until she starts whining about the liberal media holding her to these words. She is the quantum singularity for logic.

  • LabRodent

    Nothing brings out the Snark than a good Palin post. Mmmmm like wiping your ass with silk.

  • horsedreamer_1

    I like how she's still trying to make her the victim of the January 8th Tucson shooting: "When a shot is taken at me, it is water off a duck’s back…" Uh, Sarah, nobody shot ye.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    The media holds conservative women to a different standard?? Hillary Clinton will be glad to know that the liberal media took it easy on her.

    • glamourdammerung

      Well, they made up stuff to whine about Hillary Clinton over and let blatant, easily refutable lies Sarah Palin said slide, so there is a different standard. I am not sure why Palin is whining about that too though.

  • fuflans

    so i guess this means she's not going away.

    *slits wrists*

  • When Sarah Palin says that she will stop whining she means she will

    a) stop whining;
    b) continue whining;
    c) increase whining;
    d) have a retarded baby

    • e. all of the above

    • DaRooster

      C

    • Radiotherapy

      Well, it's definitely not d.

      • keepem_sikanpor

        d) Pretend to have a retarded baby.

        • Radiotherapy

          /fixed

  • I don't know about you guys, but I'm not NEARLY done whining about this stupid cunt. I mean gawwwwwww-awwwd. She's so du-ummmb. I'm so SURE! SIGH! What. Ever.

  • metamarcisf

    Obviously she is a dumb twat, but really, people should stop shooting at her. When she gets hit, it will be more than "water off an otter's back", or whatever the expression is. Exactly how many shots have been taken at her and were they fired from the Arizona state pistol, the Colt .45?

    • BlueMonkeh

      Can we somehow involve helicopters in this?

    • SorosBot

      People aren't shooting at Sarah; those are just surveyor's pistols.

    • Jim89048

      Bullet holes would mess up the pelt, though.

  • DustBowlBlues

    As the Republican establishment (aka Kock brothers, et. al.) squeeze her not to gently out of their realm, wonkette may be the only news outlet that continues to take notice of her, not so much flame out as fizzle out celebrity, expect her to aim her rapier-like insults and jabs toward Ken, Jack, and Young Riley.

    I hope they have skins like a duck, a duck and a goose, so they can withstand the withering verbal assaults ahead of them.

  • CapeClod

    Thanks for the summary. I simply cannot listen to this dimwitted cow anymore. She says she's going to talk less? This is a win for the civilized world.

  • ttommyunger

    Well, she's got Mark Levine (I know, nobody does either) stepping up to bat for her. That lardass nasal-whistling Koch-Puppet took his pudgy hands off of Rush Limpbaugh's tiny goober long enough to tweet on the Ductkster's behalf , so she's got that going for her, which is nice.

    • Radiotherapy

      He's a fowl miscreant and is going to be the last one off her train.

      • ttommyunger

        Dreaming she'll give him a sniff of it.

      • WriteyWriterton

        Meanwhile hoping to feather his nest.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Being a waterfowl haven in North America, most Alaskans know that ducks don't have nerves in their legs and webbed feet. That allows them to swim in very cold water, their feet don't hurt or freeze cause there is no there there.

    This is like Sarah's heart and why it's proven that she does not have a Servant's one at that. There are no nerves or capacity for warmth in that cavity.

    And also too, I thought she and her kin have had thick skin to go along with their still spines all this time? Where's this 'perceived whine?' coming from?

  • Ducksworthy

    That explains a lot. The sound of a whining duck is truly horrible.

  • arihaya

    "Duck Season !… bam bam bam !! "

    — Elmer Fudd

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh Sarah, go duck yourself. Kthxbai.

  • Ducksworthy

    So ends Sarah's career. Not with a bang but with a whimper, followed by muffled quacking.

    • bagofmice

      If there EVER existed a more appropriate user name…

  • philpjfry

    what a dumb cunt. Not to worry she will never be self aware. Fucking self centered evil fuck

    • mavenmaven

      She's self aware everytime she looks at her newly expanded bank account.

  • southernmuses

    This is the new, "mature" Palin. The announcement she will save America by running for President will follow shortly.

  • baconzgood

    "I’m through whining"

    Now the weather. Hell has reached an all time low of 15F.

  • but if she stops whining then the title of her next jailhouse memoir, "Whining the Future," will make no sense!

  • baconzgood

    That take a shot/water of a ducks back thing is a mixed metaphor you stupid bitch.

  • Ducksworthy

    Which weighs more Sarah Palin or a duck?

    • Either way, she's a witch! BURN HER!!!!

      • SorosBot

        She turned me into a newt; that is, she made me dump my cancer-stricken wife for my younger mistress.

      • Sir Bors is right!

  • Chillwaver

    She's the Ugly Duckling tale, except that she's still a duck (just older, uglier and desperate)

  • Trannysurprise

    Behold the duck.
    It does not cluck.
    A cluck it lacks.
    It quacks.
    It is specially fond
    Of a puddle or pond.
    When it dines or sups,
    It bottoms ups.

    Or it's just dumb cunt.

  • hagajim

    If it looks like a duck, and it talks like a duck, and its the snowbilly grifter, then its not a duck, it's a bitchey shrew!

  • hagajim

    Greta hasn't had any professional pride for years…her real name is Greta Van Payme

    • horsedreamer_1

      I hear, back in the day, growing up in Appleton, she did a mean Dutch Oven.

  • Why a duck?

    This woman is getting dangerously close to becoming self-aware.

    I doubt she'll ever pass a Turing test.
    ~

  • bebopluvr

    Well fuck a duck! she almost made sense there, just for a second. Almost.

  • Oblios_Cap

    She might be a duck, but I still won't eat her.

  • harry_palmer

    When she says "water off a duck's back," her fans are thinking "cum off a librarian's glasses." It's the only reason conservatives are paying attention at all.

  • Weenus299

    Not quite the bird I'm thinking of when referring to the SP.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Like the big middle one that Bristol wanted to show the world if she undeservedly won DWTS?

  • Troubledog

    Rabbit season!
    Duck season!
    Rabbit season!
    Duck season!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-k5J4RxQdE

  • prommie

    Now she's whining about quitting whining because her whining didn't stop the lamestream press from pointing out that she's just a quitting whiner? Quitting whiner says what now?

  • [redacted]hse

    Held to a different standard…let's see, Sue Myrick, Palin, Bachmann, Brewer…yeah, OK, Sarah. Fuck you.

  • baconzgood

    She's not going to "whine" anymore. It's "melodically complain".

  • jus_wonderin

    As with all things Palin, I will believe it when I see it. More than anything I don't want to hear it.

  • ThundercatHo

    Is she just giving up whining for Lint?

    P.S. What is the deal with the "p" points? Do we redeem them for gift cards or what?

    • Lefty_Lucy

      Trolls eat them.

  • harry_palmer

    Excellent – now my comments are disappearing before they have to face the downfists of fury!

  • OT

    Over at the Saloon, Camille Paglia does an interesting obit reflection on Liz Taylor, the icon femme fatale often perceived by post modernism as a misogynist libel. Ms. Taylor may have been a lot of things, but she wasn't a whiner like the perky Palin.

  • 教授 Zoom

    What is the sound of one duck whining?

    EDIT: What is the right whine to serve with duck?

  • SilverFox

    I thought Bachmann was a duck. She always has a duck face on Wonkette. I'm confused.

  • mavenmaven

    She's off by a vowel.

  • chascates

    Quitter.

  • jus_wonderin

    I think I finally get the duck/back/water analogy. However the sage words of Lady Chablis were more effective.

    "She" said "Two tears in a bucket. Mother F#@K it!"

  • keepem_sikanpor

    Wow, I made it all the way to Thursday without calling her a miserable kunt.

    • DaRooster

      Proof that if she isn't whining… she doesn't exist.

      Hooray! She finally quit the right thing.

      • keepem_sikanpor

        …she doesn't exist.
        Sounds like a utopian society, even with three wars, a spewing nuclear reactor and teabaggers.

  • Duck skin isn't particularly thick, but it sure is greasy

  • Blendergoathead

    Whining or not, I'd still pay five dollars to watch her suck Ann Coulter's radioactive cock.

  • GeneralLerong

    Peking Duck: inflate skin, hang out in cold air to dry, roast till skin is crisp and delicious.

    Yeah, that would work for $arah.

  • TiltedHorizons

    So why did she try to place a bomb along the MLK Parade route?

  • Guppy06

    It's like birdshot going through a duck's back!

  • ChessieNefercat

    So wait, she found out "canard" means "duck" and our sophistocated world traveler is showing off her knowledge of that fancy French stuff?

    Duck. Duck duck duck. Duck. Silly twat.

  • Guppy06

    And is the "different standard for conservative women" similar to the different standards in labor rights, reproductive rights, etc. that conservative women hypocritically campaign for?

  • Come here a minute

    … turn from being a duck into whatever less intelligent being she was previously

    Sponge.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    …while visiting Israel, I learnt that nagging is much more interesting than whining.

  • rocktonsam

    You know who else we haven't heard from lately?

    BPalin and Willow. Are they off having babies or something?

    Has Trig started smoking?

  • Gopherit

    no way she's actually done whining. she's like a puddle of pure passive-aggressiveness. Also stupid.

  • MinAgain

    When a shot is taken at me, it is water off a duck’s back

    And when a shot is taken at a duck, he's dinner.

  • PublicLuxury

    The Duhvenor is fowl? It just doens't end

  • owhatever

    And she's supportin' the troops in Libya.

  • lulzmonger

    Call me back when she takes a vow of silence … with an affadavit.

  • GortRay

    I just hope she sticks around long enough to get into some steel cage cat fights with the Bachbeast on the campaign trail. Picture it if you will – two yowling zombie death-hags going at it like mutant wolverines. Oh it will be ever so grand.

  • WIDTAP

    Does this mean she's giving up the job at Fox or just that Fox is going to give up whining about liberals.

    …why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

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  • keepem_sikanpor

    Maybe she meant to say, "I'm through #winning."

  • genxr

    Back in Texas we have a saying. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, shoot it.

    Ummmm… with votes of course.

    Don't worry I'm sure it's all like water off a duck's canard. In other words, I wouldn't want to drink it.

  • I think she met she was done whining about her whining…in which she had a relapse about 3 minutes later.
    http://twitter.com/sarahpalinusa

  • dancesw_cougars

    That wasn't water LouSarah, and it might make your feathers stick together.

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Duck Fat.

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