These little pink flower-y things that were a gift from good old Japan will soon be a bloomin’ all over the Tidal Basin. Yes, we are about to enter the dark and scary tourist-infested time that is Cherry Blossom Season—which, haha, this year perfectly coincides with the next Tea Party Protest. Soon there will be an epic battle of fanny pack wearing tourists on Segways versus adoring old Teabaggers on scooters, and the real losers will be the actual inhabitants of D.C. who will have to deal with this onslaught of out-of-towners. But, if there were ever a year to brave the annoying tourists and Tea Party Tards to see the pretty pink bloomage, we guess it would be this one, right? Do it for Japan!
To make braving the tourists and tea party tards and viewing the cherry blossoms that much more profitable enjoyable, many restaurants in D.C. will be offering boozy-free-for-alls and specialty eats all next week. There will also be plenty of cherry-blossom-themed events happening throughout town. The festival runs from Saturday, March 26 to Sunday, April 10 and peak bloom dates are March 29 though April 1.
- Cherry Blossom Festival Parade: The parade route runs along Constitution Ave. from 7th to 17th Streets NW and will feature colorful balloons, marching bands and performers. One too many SUV’s were purchased by the fine D.C. government this year, so there will be an admission fee for the festival this year. But don’t worry, *some* of the proceeds from ticket sales will be donated to the relief efforts in Japan.
- Cherry Blossom Festival Family Day: If you are in possession of a small child, take him/her to the National Building Museum for their sixth annual Cherry Blossom Family Festival. There will be art demonstrations and exciting indoor and outdoor performances that celebrate spring and explore Japanese arts and design. And perhaps an earthquake simulation activity as well. Too soon?
- Cherry Blossom Kite Festival: The Cherry Blossom Kite Festival is a fun event that does not require a small child for participation. The festival is Sunday, March 27 on the National Mall between 4th & 7th Streets, NW.
If the cherry blossoms cause you to desire an expensive cherry blossom cocktail:
- Urbana Restaurant and Wine Bar: Urbana will be serving a cherry-blossom cocktail made from vanilla and cherry-infused Maker’s Mark, sour cherry purée, and sweet and sour mix, garnished with cotton-candy and a cherry. $12.
- Againn: This gastropub is featuring a “Cherrio” cocktail with vodka, Cherry Heering liqueur, fresh lemon juice, rosewater, and egg whites for $9. They will also be serving Sam Adams Cherry Wheat for $6 and, for dessert, they will be serving a cherry trifle for $8.
- Zentan: This restaurant located in the Donovan House will be serving a “Blossom’ed Lychee Milk and Broken Cherry Cookie” combo. It’s a cocktail is made with lychee, nigori sake and vodka, and it’s topped off with a splash of milk foam, why, we do not know. $12.
As the cherry blossoms were a gift from Japan after all, should viewing the little pink flowers compel you to do something for the country, plenty of organizations and restaurants are hosting fundraisers this weekend.
{ 39 comments }
"the real losers will be the actual inhabitants of D.C."
People really live there? I thought they all go home to their districts in flyover states for the weekends.
When I was a resident, this was the official season to get out the "I'm not a tourist, I live here" T-shirt. But it was only worn in residential neighborhoods. No one would risk wearing one near the cherry blossoms, Capitol, or Smithsonian.
Teabagger's aint interested unless those trees are blossoming with meatballs and/or chicken nuggets.
go! quick! before they privatize trees!
Barn's burnt down —
now
I can see the moon.
Masahide's haiku still exemplifies the wry resilience of the Japanese people.
yes
Yeesh. Those trees don't even produce edible fruit. They only fuck with people's allergies. Send the fuckin' trees back. Put apple trees there. Apple trees are American! They even have edible fruits.
You can eat the flowers off the cherry trees. I can't imagine why you would. So enjoy your diarrhea baggers
Haiku
Teabagger's red blood
Has as much processed sugar
As a ton of Fruit Pies
Ramen.
~
Blah! They don't taste anything like cherries.
More haiku:
Teabaggers arrive.
Washington begs for release.
Rascals crush all hope.
Burma Shave
As we say down here in lower, slower DE, we love to see them come down and we love to see them leave. Remember – they spend money. At least the tourists do, the Tea Baggers are all looking for the AUCE cafeteria.
As someone who works right near Independence Hall, the annoying tourists are already here; I had to doge through a giant gaggle of elderly Southerners wearing name-tags who of course were walking spread out over the entire sidewalk on my way back from lunch today.
Ew. That's too much chicken-necked wide-loadedness for me.
what would happen without those name-tags i often wonder.
Having been in DC last weekend and sad because I missed the cherry blossoms but ecstatic that I will miss the tea baggers
Great, now the inflated attendance count for the protest will include the people who just wanted to get their mono no aware on.
That is definitely good news for Tea Party..
is this the kind of tree Washington cut down? the one he lied about with his famous remark, "i'm not a crook?"
Best D.C. related (well, penned, in D.C.) haiku:
Trading with [redact]
Give me Higginson, damnit
Because I want him
DC should advertise this as hoveround + cherry blossom festival
"The cherry orchard is now mine!… I bought the estate"
Bwahahahahahaha!
Will there be any Muslin tourists to scare off the tea baggers?
We had a huge number of visitors at Natural History today- and yes, some of them were wearing hijabs. Perhaps I will outfit myself in a chador so that any teabagger tourists will avoid me- as I have several shifts next week and the following week.
Almost pure genius except you run the risk of getting snatched up by one of Pete King's impressment gangs…
Teabagger to the Tourist: "This Tidal Basin sidewalk isn't wide enough for the two of us." Ba dum bum.
We used to go downtown after school in springtime and harass the touristy school kids from Nebraska or Illinois who had come to see the guv'mint and the blossoms. Never did any good, though, as they kept coming.
yes, I can vouch for the fact that kids(and their parents) from many states were in DC today.
Isn't it a school day?
School break plus school trips
I don't wanna harsh the buzz of anyone heading to the Tidal Basin, but there are many fruit trees blooming all over town, all over this latitude, in fact, but with fewer crowds.
Hey, shut up- do not tell people that or we will have the Texans and the Iowans in Kenwood, at Brookside and as you say, all over the place. The point is to keep them contained in DC!
Japan fundraising challenge: Send $1 for every ill-informed tea party member that you see during the cherry blossom festival. Japan won't know what to do with all the cash rolling in, and you'll finally feel good about seeing a tea partier!
Ah, there is nothing like seeing the soft glow of the cherry blossoms at night around the reflecting pool.
Alright, we took the family to the Cherry Blossom Festival last year by accident. It was the high-schooler's spring break and we decided to see dee-cee unaware actually that it was cherry blossom time. We didn't mind it taking an hour-and-fifteen minutes to get from the Lincoln Memorial to the Capitol–by car–but it was dispiriting when the blossoms themselves didn't stay in bloom for as long as the car ride. I swear, the blossoms blossomed for about half an hour last spring. I bet they don't make it that long this year. Wait until those pretty and delicate flowers get a load of all that teabagger breath. They'll wilt in moments.
Oh, look, amidst the fake cherry trees: nascar-capped chunks of suet with pendulous old scrota overheating their scooter batteries and igniting, tens of flaming hoverounds swirling gaily in the spring sun, and comes rushing down the mall the Congresswoman from MN with her pompoms. Go, tea scrots! On the bus, next stop: the slave quarters across the river where Founding Father famously fought to free his slaves.
I'm going to change my picture in honor of the trees.
My trees.I don't need your DC trees but I still love them.
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