REAL COMEDIANS DON'T CALL THEM 'SKITS'  11:00 am March 23, 2011

Former ‘SNL’ Player, Current Bigot Victoria Jackson Running for President?

by Jack Stuef

The mentally ill are such ideal teevee guests, aren’t they?

For my next miracle, I will turn this Bible into attention for myself.
Oh, good thing she brought that book along to show in case we wanted to buy one. Hadn’t heard of it.

V-PAW
WAIT A SECOND, WHAT’S THAT ON HER PALM? Does that say “NH”? As in New Hampshire? Oh God, this woman is running for president. EVERYONE. EVERYONE THINKS THEY SHOULD RUN FOR PRESIDENT. [Splitsider]

 
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{ 179 comments }

PublicLuxury March 23, 2011 at 11:03 am

Do you have to be an idiot to be on the teevee shows?

4TheTurnstiles March 23, 2011 at 11:04 am

That's a hotel Bible. You know, the ones from the Gideons that say "Do Not Remove from Room"?

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 11:12 am

Who the fuck are these Gideons? I've never seen one…are they from Gidea? BH

mookwrthwilson March 23, 2011 at 11:57 am

All I know is that Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt
to help with good Rocky's revival.

Beowoof March 24, 2011 at 8:21 pm

I think they are the pious relations of Jake Gites.

DaRooster March 23, 2011 at 11:13 am

Elaborate set for a hotel room… 'cuz Christians would never steal right?
(Or kill, or covet and they ALWAYS help their fellow man that is less fortunate)

4TheTurnstiles March 23, 2011 at 11:35 am

Right. And Jesus has lots of approving messages for those who like to make a show out of their piety in the public square for personal gain too.

Grief_Lessons March 23, 2011 at 11:05 am

I'm going to pay this the attention it merits.

Whoops, overdid it already.

Conflabberdaddled March 23, 2011 at 11:05 am

EVERYONE THINKS THEY SHOULD RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

Can't we go back to the days when everybody loved to get stoned, instead?

CalamityJames March 23, 2011 at 11:27 am

Never realized that we had moved on from those days.

Beowoof March 24, 2011 at 8:23 pm

If any of these douche bags think they will be elected they must be stoned, thus rendering your question moot.

GuyClinch March 23, 2011 at 11:06 am

Damn you, Lorne Michaels. Damn you to hell!

PublicLuxury March 23, 2011 at 11:06 am

Homophobe in the news. The weirder the better.

Steverino247 March 23, 2011 at 11:07 am

So, Victoria Jackson throws her ditz into the ring.

Negropolis March 24, 2011 at 6:48 am

WIN

Troubledog March 23, 2011 at 11:07 am

Even the other crazies think she's crazy.

Sue4466 March 23, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Does that make her sane?

Beowoof March 24, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Where is Nurse Wratchet when you need her?

Gratuitous World March 23, 2011 at 11:09 am

victoria jackson would kiss a dirty asshole to get a bit part on Glee.

Thurman Munster IV March 23, 2011 at 11:16 am

Dick Chaney?

Zvi_Bleindmeis March 23, 2011 at 11:54 am

Jim DeMint.

chicken_thief March 23, 2011 at 11:58 am

Christine O'Donnell? No, wait, that's a hairy asshole….

horsedreamer_1 March 23, 2011 at 12:52 pm

See it now on… UHF!

SorosBot March 23, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Now that was a good movie, despite both her and Michael Richards turning out to be bigots.

GOPCrusher March 23, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Damn funny movie. But like Dennis Miller, one of those things that I refuse to acknowledge that I enjoyed at one time.

EdFlintstone March 23, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Ann Coulter? No thats a dirty cock that was tucked up in an asshole.

Beowoof March 24, 2011 at 8:24 pm

Who is to say she didn't do that to get on Fox News and Roger Ailes appreciates it.

PublicLuxury March 23, 2011 at 11:09 am

Jeebus only likes straights. Jeebus would've NEVER help homosexuals or gossips or drunks or drug addicts or Victoria Jackson. Jeebus loves it when "his people" use his books to discriminate against any people they want to target.

mumbly_ジョジョ March 23, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Yeah, it's not as though Jeegus spent his earthly time hanging out with sinners like prostitutes, or the unclean like lepers, or race-traitors like tax collectors, or literally spent his time telling people who liked to claim that being rich was a sign that they were chosen by god and that outsiders and marginalized people didn't deserve love or mercy that they were completely full of shit, and that the meek and downtrodden, but honest, were the ones who God loved.

No, Jeegus actually spent all his time telling people to man up and talking about how much he hated the gays, and also medically necessary abortions, and also that the Indians totally deserve that genocide they're going to get 1700 years from now, because they're heathens.

Beowoof March 24, 2011 at 8:26 pm

If Jeebus hates they gheys and the poor so much why did he make so many? Once again I am preplexed and flumoxxed. (Misspellings by design).

TanzbodenKoenig March 23, 2011 at 11:09 am

I just keep telling myself that she's actually just trolling everyone, and that she's not actually losing her humanity before our very eyes

Sue4466 March 23, 2011 at 11:10 am

Considering where the bar is set for GOP candidates, why the fuck not? Bachmann/Jackson 2012!

Beowoof March 24, 2011 at 8:28 pm

They could save money on official residences and just have them share a room at the asylum.

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 11:12 am

Stupid ignorant attention whore is stupid.

4TheTurnstiles March 23, 2011 at 11:15 am

She's overshooting it, though. Look at the the dues and the hard work Sharron Angle & Jan Brewer & Sarah Palin had to pay before they could milk a presidential run for all the media cash they could squeeze from it. This bitch just takes the easy way. (Although she could easily be governor of Arizona if she wanted it)

chicken_thief March 23, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Ain't enough grass in the entire state for her to graze on…

Beowoof March 24, 2011 at 8:31 pm

She may be an upgrade. Although her public speaking leaves one to guess Victoriea's level of developmental disability, Jan Brewer who sits there like a rock when questioned is clearly in the vegetable catagory.

ManchuCandidate March 23, 2011 at 11:16 am

You know, this is the first time she's ever made me laugh.

widestanceroman March 23, 2011 at 11:17 am

To quote 'Little Britain's Marjorie Dawes,

fat cow
Fat Cow
FAT COW

Yes, I used the same words about her yesterday, but she is still a fat cow, and that is the entirety of my thoughts about this FAT COW!

littlebigdaddy March 23, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Is she the one who is amazingly incontinent?

widestanceroman March 23, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Nope, she's the hateful cow who conducts weight loss meetings (and calls attendees fat cow as seen in my comment).

inedalo March 23, 2011 at 4:26 pm

she's the Linda Tripp for our time, another fat idiotic rightwing b*tch.

mad cow disease? now we have 2 cases of this in USA

pukebot March 23, 2011 at 11:21 am

is that aunt jemima in whiteface?

Badonkadonkette March 23, 2011 at 11:22 am

Victoria Jackson falls somewhere between Joe Piscopo and Charles Rocket on the spectrum of SNL cast members' relevance.

gurukalehuru March 23, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Dennis Miller. Don't forget Dennis Miller.

Beowoof March 24, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Dennis Miller sucks since Rick Overton no longer writes his jokes.

mavenmaven March 23, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Wait a minute. People still say "Joyzey". He'd be a more serious presidential candidate than her if repeated memes are a criteria…

metamarcisf March 23, 2011 at 9:47 pm

That Brad Hall was a real cut-up

Cicada March 23, 2011 at 11:22 am

Liz Taylor was one of the first celebrities to stand up for AIDS victims and she also supported gay rights. She might have had the right proportions for teatard fapping, but not the right ideology.

GuyClinch March 23, 2011 at 11:28 am

Yep, she raised over $100 million for research, and I and many people I know have gone to the Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center in DC to get free HIV testing. I hope they get a lot of donations today.

Cicada March 23, 2011 at 11:39 am

Good point. Here's the link to donate if anyone's interested: http://www.wwc.org/donate/

The Elizabeth Taylor Medical Center is part of the Whitman-Walker clinic.

GuyClinch March 23, 2011 at 11:41 am

Just did. Thanks for the link.

KeepFnThatChicken March 23, 2011 at 11:23 am

From the looks of things, she ain't runnin' anywhere.

elviouslyqueer March 23, 2011 at 11:23 am

Man, that is one ugly, tragic drag queen.

user-of-owls March 23, 2011 at 11:56 am

Edith Piaf weeps.

Oblios_Cap March 23, 2011 at 12:13 pm

She's really let herself go.

Negropolis March 24, 2011 at 6:53 am

I don't know if she let go, or if her sanity violently tore itself away from here against her better wishes.

Negropolis March 24, 2011 at 6:54 am

She's got to be the origin of the term "hot mess."

SheriffRoscoe March 23, 2011 at 11:29 am

Gurl…..that hair ribbon is wayyyy too small. I suggest you wear a bigger one if you want me to take you seriously.

Dana Marschz March 23, 2011 at 11:59 am

She's wearing a terrrorist head bow!!! (ala Rachel Ray in Dunkin DonutsGate).

elviouslyqueer March 23, 2011 at 12:28 pm

That's not a hair ribbon. It's a helium balloon that deflated directly in to her cranium.

bagofmice March 23, 2011 at 12:30 pm

So she's some kind of light-weight air-head?

PsycWench March 23, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Maybe one that covers her mouth? She could be taken somewhat more seriously that way.

Not_So_Much March 23, 2011 at 11:30 am

I remember her back in the day when it seemed she was only playing a retard.

ttommyunger March 23, 2011 at 11:31 am

Great! Another young idiot with zero real life experience and up to his armpits in daddy issues seeking the Presidency. What could possibly go wrong?

user-of-owls March 23, 2011 at 11:58 am

We could actually get into a war!

ttommyunger March 23, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Or three!

AutomaticPilot March 23, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Air strikes over the set of Glee!

GunToting[Redacted] March 23, 2011 at 1:00 pm

I think her "young" ship sailed several years back.

ttommyunger March 23, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Sorry, this comment was supposed to go under the Rand “Crazy Toupe” Paul article. I dunno wha' happened.

Failure_Artist March 23, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Still applies.

ttommyunger March 23, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Hahahaha!

nounverb911 March 23, 2011 at 11:31 am

Jackson/Bachmann 2012

Think of the possibilities!

DownFist Troll March 23, 2011 at 12:04 pm

The end of USamerica and nuclear winter come to mind.

under_score March 23, 2011 at 11:32 am

NH = New Hampshire are just wishful thoughts of the wonkarazzi. More likely: No Homo

CalamityJames March 23, 2011 at 11:32 am

I love it when 40+ year old adults act like 6 year olds. "Ewww, guys kissing? Gross, I'll cover my eyes so it doesn't exist."

fuflans March 23, 2011 at 11:33 am

and hell she wasn't always zaftig. she just got old.

fuflans March 23, 2011 at 11:34 am

well she'd give sarah a run for most annoying voice award, so there's that.

CrankyLttlCamperette March 23, 2011 at 11:48 am

Can you imagine sitting through and entire State of the Union in that voice?

(shudder)

ttommyunger March 23, 2011 at 11:37 am

Don't know what's going on with my 'puter today. Don't know where or if my comments are being posted. Oh well. That big collective sigh you are hearing is Angle, Bachmann, Palin, Donnelly et. al. relieved that there is finally someone in the mix who is dumber, crazier and fatter than they are.
Re. Liz: She's been seeking a novel way to get laid for years, finally, at 79; she's being laid to rest. Too soon? She did, however, enjoy excellent health most of her life, waking up every morning feeling like a new man! Ba-dump, ba dump!

CapeClod March 23, 2011 at 11:37 am

You know, after you have been forgotten by nearly everyone in the country, it doesn't do you any credit to suddenly show up again on television as a fat-assed, stupid parody of yourself.

MrsBiggTime March 23, 2011 at 4:20 pm

See also: Ted Nugent, Chuck Norris.

mrblifil March 23, 2011 at 11:43 am

What I'd like to know is: Did she and Dennis Miller experience their drug-related brain damage at the same party?

Beowoof March 24, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Sounds like they both got the brown acid.

mookwrthwilson March 23, 2011 at 11:54 am

I always thought Victoria Jackson was some sort of elaborate drag persona like RuPaul…I guess I was wrong…

elviouslyqueer March 23, 2011 at 12:30 pm

I'm still not so sure. Check under Vickie's capacious granny panties, if you dare.

finallyhappy March 23, 2011 at 4:06 pm

What!! RuPaul looks gorgeous, Victoria Jackson looks like crap. The drag queens on RuPaul's drag race look better w/o make-up and wigs than that old bag

DaRooster March 23, 2011 at 11:54 am

Well, you TRIED to forget and then people have to go and remind you that it isn't all just some horrible dream…

Sue4466 March 23, 2011 at 12:17 pm

My bad.

user-of-owls March 23, 2011 at 12:00 pm

*Channeling Steven Wright*

Does penicillin cure VS too?

DownFist Troll March 23, 2011 at 12:00 pm

She's a plant right? This is some sort of act, like what that Jockstrap Pheonix guy did last year? Infiltrate the tea party, take on the worst characteristics of it's members and amplify them for comedy reasons?

Gopherit March 23, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Victoria, you'd be a lot more convincing terror hating right wing xtian freak without the keffiyeh in your hair.

Yes, Victoria, you really are a bimbo.

Karma_Suture March 23, 2011 at 12:04 pm

OK….. Whose been fuckin' around with the Blue Kryptonite.

Steverino247 March 23, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Well, now that I've looked up "Tentacle Sex" may I suggest she go for a swim in the nearest Octopus tank. Gotta plug that big mouth somehow!

bagofmice March 23, 2011 at 12:44 pm

But octopuses are known for getting into tight openings.

ph7 March 23, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Well, I'm persuaded.

el_donaldo March 23, 2011 at 12:13 pm

I'm guessing that backstage at SNL there are tables of sandwiches and desserts, and Jackson is just assuming that she'll get the same set-up if she makes it into a televised debate.

Oblios_Cap March 23, 2011 at 12:14 pm

I've only seen the Rocky Horror episode, but I liked it.

KenLayIsAlive March 23, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Gay men, always shoving their "gay thing" down Republican's throats! Stop it! And by "stop it" I mean help me carry my bags to Minneapolis and do it again and again.

Seriously, this is a joke though. This is a genius comedy act. Look at her.

V5¹6ª℠5½6³9•4° March 23, 2011 at 12:39 pm

The shove-down-the-throat thing is dispositive that this is a spoof, right?

Doesn't mean she's not obnoxious and unfunny though.

KenLayIsAlive March 23, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Has to be, right? Is she really that ditzy in real life? I thought that was an act. Waving around a Gideon's Bible? Come on.

Right?

Oh and yes she is not funny.

trampndirtdown March 23, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Whadaya mean Tosh.O and his lafftrack think she's hilarious

johnnymeatworth March 23, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Wow, I don't think we've had a ukulele-playing Presidential candidate since Calvin Coolidge. or a ninny shithead Presidential candidate since…oh, wait….

SorosBot March 23, 2011 at 12:24 pm

It is strange that Jackson is one of the only stars of the late80s to early 90s SNL who has never been asked back to host the show, or even guest in one skit, it's almost as if she was never very talented and hired more for her (now long gone) looks.

PsycWench March 23, 2011 at 12:34 pm

It's also strange how her appearance has gone to hell in a major way in the last 20 years but the squeaky little-girl voice is exactly the same.

bagofmice March 23, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Drama queen.

I was totally going to add a bunch of caveats to this comment, but that's seriously hard to top. Respect.

KeepFnThatChicken March 23, 2011 at 12:25 pm

I'm going to say something nice about Sarah Palin.

Victoria Jackson's voice is worse.

Thank you, I shall now die, alone and afraid.

Weenus299 March 23, 2011 at 12:43 pm

I always felt sorry for her because I thought she was the mentally challenged person on SNL. Turns out she's just a retard.

NorthStarSpanx March 24, 2011 at 9:34 am

And is it just me or does her "Poorman's Teleprompter" writing only look like she used her hand to wipe her ass?

aguacatero March 23, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Another brilliant intellect crushed on the shoals of reactionary politics. Like Pound or Heidegger.

Tommmcatt March 23, 2011 at 12:30 pm

The only word that could possibly respond to that comment is the following:

Win.

OvertonWindolt March 23, 2011 at 12:35 pm

That could be the most punchable face I've ever seen.

bagofmice March 23, 2011 at 12:40 pm

What, we're not allowed to eat women's hearts? Goddamned sexist cannibals.

Weenus299 March 23, 2011 at 12:41 pm

She still thinks she's on Saturday Night Live.

natl indecency cmdr March 23, 2011 at 12:51 pm

"fomer SNL star"… "star"? yelling "toonces look out!" does not constitute stardom. now tim kazurinsky, there's a star for you.

Jim89048 March 23, 2011 at 2:32 pm

It's like in porn, there are no supporting actors.

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 3:32 pm

hah…I was trying to think of a skit she was in on SNL and all I could remember were the Toonces the Driving Cat bits.

MrsBiggTime March 23, 2011 at 4:24 pm

I looked it up on Wikipedia (yeah, too much time on my hands) and it seems there were some 13 different "Toonces" skits. All essentially with the same joke (cat drives a car).
Now, that does explain Vistoria Jackson success, doesn't it??

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Pffft – Victoria goes out…Victoria comes in, you can't explain it.

SorosBot March 23, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Toonces drives car, car falls off cliff, you can't explain that.

horsedreamer_1 March 23, 2011 at 12:55 pm

She's pulling the Reverse Steeeeeve Forbes.

Wonder if she'll kick some Rage Against the Machine when she campaigns?

trampndirtdown March 23, 2011 at 10:42 pm

If she does watch for a reunion of Morello and de la Rocha to kick her ass.

PresBeeblebrox March 23, 2011 at 12:57 pm

HLN is the Weekly World News of cable teevee.

prommie March 23, 2011 at 1:02 pm

He has to check with Mr. Sinatra's family before he can say what he thinks.

Beowoof March 24, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Sinatra was a democrat, well at least when Sam Giancanna told him to be one.

tessiee March 23, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Faced with the conundrum of how to have all the money and power, and STILL be a self-pitying crybaby with a martyr complex, asstards like this have come up with a very simple (well, it would HAVE to be very simple, wouldn't it?) solution:
Anyone who they don't like or don't agree with doesn't have a right to exist. Therefore, by existing, they're actually persecuting Victoria Jackson and her ilk. Oh, sure, they may THINK that they're just going about their business, but they're actually perpetuating a terrible, terrible assault against all that is right and good by, you know, going around being all gay and muslin and stuff.

/snobby voice/ "Oh, blast, Carter! There's some more of those awful poor people we've been seeing so much of lately! Why WILL they insist upon wearing that dreadful inexpensive clothing?"

MrsBiggTime March 23, 2011 at 1:18 pm

After what she did to Toonces the Driving Cat? Miss Jackson, please, bitch.

BornInATrailer March 23, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Ms Jackson if you're nasty..

Oh, just threw up in my mouth.

Buckminster March 23, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Every time one of these idiots opens his or her mouth, Jebus weeps with embarassment.

MrsBiggTime March 23, 2011 at 1:23 pm

I want to believe.

jus_wonderin March 23, 2011 at 3:01 pm

The Thrust is out there.

karen March 23, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Reminds me of Hatchet-face from Crybaby.

natoslug March 23, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Jesusfuckingchrist, that is an annoying voice. Should we really be taking moral advice from cheap fucking knockoff of Miss Piggy? If you're going to lecture me about my moral decay, at least use Jessica Rabbit, so I can rub one out while listening.

__kth__ March 23, 2011 at 2:00 pm

They really aren't crazy. The reason people like Victoria Jackson or Elizabeth Hasselbeck sound crazy is because, in their private conversations, words like nigger and faggot and wetback are poured out like ketchup on scrambled eggs.

Then you go on TV, and your head is full of these awesome zings, only they all have the bad words in them. So you brain sort of locks up.

b[redact]opple March 23, 2011 at 2:02 pm

STRONGLY AGREE.

Last night I accidentally watched an al-Qaeda recruitment mockumentary on the MTV — it's called "Teen Mom 2," and it's staged as a reality show about the travails of a disconnected collection of brachycephalic web-footed cretins who went and got themselves pregnant instead of forcibly sterilized. It is literally impossible to watch five minutes of that thing without wanting to blow up some civilians. The show can't be real, though, because if it were then we'd have to move to Finland.

Tommmcatt March 23, 2011 at 2:17 pm

I would SO much rather watch those boys kiss than even think about someone putting their lips on the makeup-coated hefty bag of lard that has been known these many years as "Victoria Jackson".

teebob2000 March 23, 2011 at 2:20 pm

She does have *some* tolerance for those not like her. That Aunt Jemima/Butterfly McQueen tribute hair-thing she's sporting is mighty fly, yo!!

Or is that just an attempt to distract from how fucking fat she's gotten?

Jim89048 March 23, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Whoa, tough room!

trampndirtdown March 23, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Don't sweat it, I thought it was funny, mainly because Teatards think everything was better 40 years ago when everyone agreed with them, selective memory must be great.

Jim89048 March 23, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Yeah, I meant her no disrespect, I'm a fan too. And 40 years ago I was 19, employed, protesting a (different) war, and getting laid, so yes, things were pretty great 40 years ago.

DahBoner March 23, 2011 at 2:27 pm

This woman needs to eat.

She is downright skinny compared to the average diabetic Teabagger…

ThundercatHo March 23, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Can we also see the video of her crying on Celebrity (?) Biggest Loser or whatever? "Boo hoo hoo! It's like I'm addicted to Velveeta and pork rinds. Waaaah! So, it's not fair to kick me off. Screeeeech!"

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm

"Velveeta and pork rinds."

That actually sounds kinda tasty.

JustPixelz March 23, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Ya beat me to it! But I posted "biggest loser" anyway.

Jim89048 March 23, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Since my morph-thing of beck/loughner bombed so badly, there's no way I'm gonna try it with victoria/ginni.

GOPCrusher March 23, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Never have seen the show, but Victoria Jackson is old enough to remember what bagging on a television show did for Dan Quayle's career.

jus_wonderin March 23, 2011 at 2:59 pm

I like Glee. I never thought Victoria Jackson was funny. I kind of thought she was, well, stupid.

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 3:30 pm

He couldn't be that desperate. Shoot…he wouldn't poke her with Dennis Miller's dick.

MrsBiggTime March 23, 2011 at 4:22 pm

And by Dennis Miller's dick, you mean Bill O'Reilly, right?

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Ewwww

littlebigdaddy March 23, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Never understood why she was on SNL. I mean, sorta cute at the time, but no apparent talent. Certainly don't understand why anyone cares about what she thinks more than what the the panhandler who sits outside my apartment thinks.

SorosBot March 23, 2011 at 3:54 pm

She very convincingly played many different characters, all of whom were dumb blonde bimbos.

BadPuppy March 23, 2011 at 4:05 pm

I am SOOO ashamed my screen name on here is connected with that moron. How can we change our screen names?

littlebigdaddy March 23, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Plus, she looks like the Kirstie Alley "before" pics. I mean, I can handle a certain amount of flesh on eine damen, but I just think there would be too much flapping.

MrsBiggTime March 23, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Brushing up on my Toonces, courtesy Wikipedia, I found synopses of all 13 "Toonces" episodes. Here's one:
"Toonces and Spunky (an orange tabby) are engaged in a spirited ping-pong match, as an amazed Lyle and Brenda (Victoria Jackson) look on."
How did this woman ever slip into obscurity?

BornInATrailer March 23, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Flippy the Rat was better.

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Well…our little troll IS busy today. I wonder what he would say if I juxtaposed Victoria's bible waving with the fact that her Jesus would wash the feet of men with his hair. Ok, maybe it wasn't gay, but it sure as hell was kinky.

MrsBiggTime March 23, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Upfist for vigilance. 3-23-11. Never forget.

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Yikes, he's busy. It's like trying to plug the dyke with my finger…and I haven't tried that since college.

Failure_Artist March 23, 2011 at 6:08 pm

No, that was a prostitute who used her hair to wash his feet. He was still down with the whole washing mens' feet thing.

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 7:06 pm

By gum, yer right! Well, one man's bible verse is another man's kink.

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Hmmmm, it seems our troll is focusing on the negative VJ comments. I wonder if the troll is VJ herself?

Nah…I think fat retarded old whores have more class than that.

MinAgain March 23, 2011 at 5:32 pm

She can run, but she can't hide.

trampndirtdown March 23, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Well not really run but waddle pretty fast.

SaintRond March 23, 2011 at 5:32 pm

That cunt.

JustPixelz March 23, 2011 at 6:26 pm

We'll see her next on "The Biggest Loser".

JackObin March 23, 2011 at 9:03 pm

I'm pleased she's running, period. Just another bloated, ding-a-ling american female.

BarackMyWorld March 23, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Fun fact: Victoria Jackson, Dennis Miller, and Al Franken all worked on SNL at the same time.

Negropolis March 24, 2011 at 6:49 am

Compromise!

Negropolis March 24, 2011 at 6:56 am

Who is Victoria Jackson? Is she one of the lesser Joe and Catherine Jackson's spawn?

Honestly, she's just pissed that she physically and mentally let herself go to complete hell years ago, and now she has nothing to fall back on, bless her heart.

BTW, I was a little young for her time on SNL, but I do remember her from Celebrity Fit Club. Anyone else get the feeling she's a raging lesbian? Either that, or she resents like hell that someone else gets a kiss while she hasn't so much as shook a man's hand in years.

Negropolis March 24, 2011 at 7:09 am

Well, Duchovony IS a sex addict, but I think even he has to draw the line, somewhere, right?

Sue4466 March 23, 2011 at 11:07 am

What, Sarah Palin's not good enough for you? Bachmann is what, chopped liver? Do we really need this crazy-come-lately?

loulouroo March 23, 2011 at 11:52 am

What, Ann Coulter wasn't evil and stipid enough? Oh, wait. That's right. Coulter is really a dude. Carry on.

PsycWench March 23, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Balance, no. Ballast maybe.

chicken_thief March 23, 2011 at 12:01 pm

And could use her own back for the whiteboard.

bagofmice March 23, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Crazy-come-lately is an epic turn of phrase. Grats.

Negropolis March 24, 2011 at 6:47 am

crazy-come-lately

FTW

bagofmice March 23, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Beck uses blackboards! Racist!

Backblackboards? Back in Black? I'm so confused!

DashboardBuddha March 23, 2011 at 4:40 pm

If that doesn't prove the existence of god, nothing will.

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