God-Fearing Gay-Curing iPhone App Destroyed By Homosexual Radicals

Well, well, well, you say, look who’s rolling up into the Wonkette like he never left!  That is right, it is your Reporter of the Homosexual Menace, who has been frankly quite busy lately with his full-time gig at another pro-America website. But he is here to gloat about his organization condemn the activities of Radical Homofascists, who have truly crossed the line this time, by taking away the only iPhone app (besides Grindr) which was ever any fun for the untold thousands of (apparently invisible) “ex-gays” among us.

Here’s the Official Statement:

Truth Wins Out and Change.org praised Apple today after the company removed a virulently anti-gay iPhone app launched by Exodus International that promoted “curing” gay people. The move came after 146,000 people signed a Truth Wins Out petition on Change.org calling on Apple to remove the app from iTunes.

“Apple made a wise and responsible decision to dump an offensive app that demonized gay and lesbian people,” said Wayne Besen, Executive Director of Truth Wins Out. “The real winners today are LGBT youth who are safer and less at risk for receiving Exodus’ malice and misinformation.”

Besides the fact that it is preposterous to suggest that there are 146,000 homosexuals on the Internet, this is a shameful thing to do to the Constitution, because as we all learned in Michele Bachmann Constitution School, the First Amendment only applies to Fundamentalist Christians and their various bitching about things!  Moreover, what part of “wingnuts will fellate to a filthy death any company’s right to do anything it damn well pleases, unless that company does something wingnuts do not like,” do these homofascists not understand?

This is America, and these “gays” are ruining it for Godly Christians who wish to deny their true selves, in order that they might enter into bitter, sexless marriages, wherein they admit, to people, that they are in denial about the shame boners they get around guys. (No, really, Alan Chambers, the president of Exodus International totally admits he’s still into dudes.)

(Oh, and one time another “ex-gay” leader told people, in public, that his wife’s vagina is “enough,” and that if it’s not, that it’s “his problem.”  Be honest, ladies:  is there anything else you’d rather hear from your sexing partner than that your lady business is enough?  Who wants a Godly Christian marriage?!)

Anyhow, for shame, homofascists!  What is this world coming to when a corporation responds to the outrage of its customers and does something in line with its own policies, but which makes the fee fees of fundamentalists hurt this bad?

We will give the last word to hate group leader and leather-sex photographer Godly Christian Man Peter LaBarbera, who felt led by his Lord and Savior, on the Twitter, to write a cheer for this terrible occasion, which is worse than the Japanese earthquake and tsunami, surely:

Indeed, who can rhyme at a time like this, when all the Fundamentalist iPhones are still weeping so?  That would be, indeed, Too Soon. [Truth Wins Out]