America’s Republican politicians hate the government and they especially hate government buildings such as public schools and firehouses and the U.S. Capitol, and the House GOP majority is dedicated to the slashing of every single government expenditure. And that’s why (?) the House will soon vote on a very important bill to make “In God We Trust” America’s official official motto, to “encourage the public display of the motto in all public buildings, public schools and government institutions.” See, “In God We Trust” was already turned into America’s “official motto” by anti-commie wingnuts in the House of Representatives way back in 1956 — a time when Washington’s wingnuts were fighting on all fronts, against black children trying to go to public schools and movie writers who believed in socialism and zombie comic books and black ladies having the nerve to want to sit down in whatever empty seat on the bus. Now, 55 years later, the intellectual descendants of institutional racism and commie hysteria want to affirm this moment of pandering to the far-right religious nuts.
Congressman J. Randy Forbes (R-VA), the founder and chairman of the Congressional Prayer Caucus, sponsored the legislation. It would encourage the public display of the motto in all public buildings, public schools and government institutions.
He said he introduced the bill in January because he was troubled by a pattern of omitting God from the nation’s heritage.
“There is a small minority who believes America does not have the right to trust in God, who believes the United States should not affirm trust in God, and who actively seek to remove any recognition of that trust,” Forbes said.
The pious and theologically ignorant loudmouths of this dumb nation got their Depends all up in a bundle because the negro Obama referred to E Pluribus Unum (literally, “to cum like a communist”) as the nation’s motto, because it’s the nation’s motto on the nation’s great seal. It’s almost as if this Barack Obama thinks the Founding Fathers have more historical heft than a bunch of fat white sweating wingnuts in the McCarthy-era House of Representatives who actually spent their lives spitting about the “godless communists” when they weren’t taking bribes, fucking little boys or having heart attacks.
Anyway, huzzah for using American Tax Dollars to plaster some bullshit religious platitude on the same government buildings the GOP is simultaneously trying to sell off and close down. [Raw Story]
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What? Trusting in God is a lot easier than knowing what the fuck you're doing.
Also, trusting in God that those tax cuts will work eventually, that the local deregulated nuke plant won't blow the fuck up…trusting in God is pretty much all you have left.
"Trust in God, but row for shore." Old Russian proverb (at least that's what they said in "Carnivale.")
"Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel" is the Arab equivalent. Come to think of it, "My country right or wrong" has a second part that everyone seems to forget, too.
"who actively seek to remove any recognition of that trust" by having a clue about science and stuff, thereby not trusting in God, which implies hating America, which is the same as God, Who doesn't need your goddamned science…
ah, yes. the small minority called 'constitutional scholars.'
It is well documented in Jefferson's letters that he frequently invoked the Lord's name when boning the slave wenches.
Let's also remember those evil University academics who write those horrible books that pretend the Founders weren't all devoted to Jeebus, the Constitution wasn't written by pastors or signed by everyone, in a church where Jerry Falwell's megachurch now resides. These same evil godless Communists also assert through something called "correspondence" (a French word if e'er heard one) that Thomas Jefferson, John Adams and George "goddamn" Washington weren't sold on this whole "Christendom of the New World" concept…they even forged them 'nuff to say they was agin it! So, in closing, let's ban the Constitution, burn all history textbooks and burn all intellectuals with them. Then we can FINALLY have "under God" be our uncontested motto by burning everything and killing everyone who says otherwise…like any good theocracy.
Dear Wingtards, we can't eat religious platitudes.
WHERE ARE THE JAWBS?
We don't need no stinkin' jawbs. Just think of all the jawbs there'll be if Jeebus takes these fools away on his magic clown bus in May.
No, no, this one is about deficit reduction, just like the emergency "defunding" of NPR. Pay attention.
And the emergency defunding of Planned Parenthood; that was all about the deficit also.
And the (attempted) emergency defunding of Obama's teleprompters.
By our freshman Rep. Steve Womack (R-Panderin' Holler) who was elected for his "Jobs, Shmobs! We need to emergency defund Obama's teleprompters!" campaign slogan.
Teleprompterz are for white repubs only.
Cast your bread upon the waters. Or, turn your water into wine.
I can turn wine into water, but you wouldn't wanna drink it.
Gawd will brang the jawbs back when America turns back the way it yusta be.
Hey…the prescribed wingnut treatment for not having a jewb is first an exorcism (by Rick Warren, and yes it's as unpleasant as he looks like an exorcism performed by him would be) then you pray to GAWD, curse liberals and give rich people tax cuts. Once you ban abortion, put all doctors, women and men associated with abortion (or gay) in a CAMP somewhere…concentrated together so we know where our enemies are, mind you…don't want to lose sight o' them; all the people put into camps (privately run, this is 'Merika, damn you) you can get a job guarding them…or burying the dead when President Barbour or VP Palin needs a huntin' trophy.
Think about all the engraving jobs this will produce for day laborers!
Huzzah, indeed!
Stone masons, rejoice! This is good news for Jude the Obscure, also.
Ten minutes of training with an air hammer ought to be good enough:
"iN gaOd wE Tru$t"
Engraving? Let's just hire some taggers to do it with spray-paint.
but how would they spell it?
Well, let's examine this against the 'mandate'-granting 'Tard platform that enabled a Cheeto miner's son to achieve the American dream, i.e., create jobs & reduce spending.
Will this create jobs? If you want to save $$$, have current, lazy federal employees make the changes, but that won't create jobs.
"Well," I hear you say, "what if they contract out the work?" Well, Timmy, that shit costs money, and we're "broke" so no, can't contract out the work and remain true to the platform.
All those surprised by these findings, raise your hand… No one?
ya riiiiight this will get outsourced to prison inmates and/or community service for first time DUI offenders
you mean illegal Messicans are gonna do the engravin'? well hell, at least THEY belivee in Gawd, but really, what else do they got?!)
When did politicians decide to just fritter away our money on idiocy?
Oh yeah, day 1. Back before we were the United States.
No issue is too small for teh Boner to focus on. But there are limits to his intellectual heft, never talk about jobs. Never talk about the banksters. Never talk about three wars. Never talk about paying for the wars.
Just throw red meat at the base and hope that no body notices your fucking them.
It's worked since 1980.
“There is a small minority who believes America does not have the right to trust in God, who believes the United States should not affirm trust in God, and who actively seek to remove any recognition of that trust,”
Yeah, the small minority that have actually read the constitution.
I love how they always refer to anyone with the good common sense to disagree with them is automatically relegated to "small minority" status. Y'know, like those 29% that couldn't pass the citizenship test. I'll bet you gold coins to survivor seeds that is the exact percentage of drooling morons who get all their info from the Fux.
Republitards don't believe in the maths.
There you go with the details thing again.
It must be that same minority that consistently outvotes them. I've noticed how the self-proclaimed large majority in South Carolina are never happy with the small minority of California and New York. Every time someone from a small red state says California is out of the mainstream I do a double take. Wait, what? Isn't the most populous state mainstream by definition? Just because our Constitution gives a disproportionate vote to the small, isolated, fringe states, they think they're the majority.
There's not a drop of irony left in this country.
I'm sorry but May 21st is just not gonna work for me.
And didn't that day just come and go? Without a bang? Curious.
If we can't take soapbox preachers, granitebox televised preachers and Clear Channel signs seriously, I don't know what to believe in anymore.
Oh right, those nifty signs in every public building will help remind me.
I despise these people with the heat of a Nova, except Haley. I adore how fucked up he is.
Haley's comet isn't due to return until 2061.
Here here! Haley the Hutt is my favorite. I want to see the tea tarders carrying him on their shoulders in triumph when he wins the nomination.
Then dying from their hernias.
Hooray Tawrbahlz/Kenneth 2012.
I beg to differ. I do believe that I hate them worse than you because I live in the Dust Bowl and have so many real life morans to hate up close and personal.
If they really trust in God so much, why are they so afraid of teh gheys, Muslins attacking them in their sleep, a Kenyan President, etc etc..? Seems they DON'T trust in their imaginary friend quite as much as they like to let on..
If we all don't pray REALLY HARD to God, He will lose against Satan. Except that the Bible says He can't and won't lose, because He's omnipotent. But He MIGHT. Although he won't.
I hope this has cleared it up for you.
He might throw the big game, just because you personally pissed him off. That'll learn you to pray harder!
That being said, they should probably make sure to qualify the God to trust is the Xtian God. Wouldn't want the other religions to think they have a dog in this fight.
In muscular Aryan Jesus we trust.
It's like engraving "Jesus Never Fails" on your AK47, just in case he does.
I propose that some Demrat (Weiner?) add a rider to this Christarded bill to remove the tax exemptions all churches who support this shit
Fuck yes!
Sounds like a job for Keith Ellison.
Shouldn't the Repugs want it to say "In Koch We Trust"?
Too close to the closet for a lot of GOPers.
"Of Kochs We Suck"
Next: make the atomic bomb the Official American Gun.
This is the kind of graven religiousity we expect from The Islamic Republic of Al Queda.
Plus — I gotta say — what has God done lately to deserve our trust?
The bigots who warned of creeping Sharia law right! It's just, you know, Christian Sharia law instead of Muslim.
Been waiting for someone to point that out, just dead-on like that.
And maybe someone already did, but you were the first I'd noticed.
To me, this smacks of Sharia Law and is, therefore, illegal in Oklahoma. Or should I say, Home Red Man, since I believe the moron Republitards made it illegal to put up public signs in other than Amerikun.
Oh, that's right–native languages exempted. BTW–I actually see Indians with Republithug bumpber stickers next to their practically-free tribal license plate. Yeah, try running that one past your political friends.
Stupid knows no race or creed. In fact, it usually accompanies the latter.
Wait til they find out that "God" also includes Allah, Vishnu, and Ahura Mazda in addition to their bearded old white guy and wheelbarrows full of lobbyist cash. Heads. Will. Roll.
Can we get a Rapture up in this bitch?
Ahura Mazdā, indeed. It puts me in mind of a white-robed, bearded, pillbox-hatted dude zoom-zooming around in a Miata, which always puts a smile on my face.
Of all the cool, old, dumb religions out there, Zoroastrianism is my favorite.
"When the hedgehog urinates, a thousand ants shall die". Really, how can you not love a religion with sayings like that???
And instead of burying their freshly dead (pollutes the ground water, apparently) they stack them on top of open-roofed "towers of silence" until the meat is all off the bones, then they bury the dry, harmless bones. Seriously, these guys invented environmentalism. And bird feeders.
Vishnu?
Not much. Vishnu wit' you?
"He said he introduced the bill in January because he was troubled by a pattern of omitting God from the nation’s heritage."
So where was God during 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the Chicago fire, the SF earthquake of 1903, the statehood of Arizona? The list is endless.
Angry at the blacks and gays, duh.
More importantly, where was God when all these teabagging dillholes got elected?
He punished us in His divine mercy.
Trust me, it makes sense BECAUSE BIBLE
Uhm threatening to kill Oral Roberts if he didn't make his payment?
In the near future Rep Randy Forbes will be caught fu*king a boy or stealing money. Mark my word.
To make it true, In God I Trust.
This will definitely solve both the "jobs" problem and the "crushing public debt because of frivolous government spending" supposed-problem, I'm pretty sure.
Meh *shrug* If the government doesn't spend that money on unconstitutional signage, it might fall into the hands of THOSE PEOPLE, if you know who I mean, so this is clearly the lesser of two evils.
It seems that the jobs of the future will be "guys carving 'In God We Trust' on the side of government buildings".
He said he introduced the bill in January because he was troubled by a pattern of omitting God from the nation’s heritage
Since when is "respecting freedom of religion" omission of God? I mean, if that's what you want to call it, our nation's heritage is the "omission" of God, because our founding fathers may have been a bunch of misogynist slave owners but they knew enough to realize that theocracy was a pretty sure way to kill a country.
But look at how many times our Constitution mentions god!
They've got to get their unconstitutional establishment of religion in fast, as (in actual good news) religion may be going extinct:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-128...
"Your God is dead, and no one cares! If there is a hell, I'll see you there!"
—Trent Reznor
Those countries also have nationalized health care. It's a slippery slope. First national health care, then no religion. Is this really the Amerika you want to live in?
Yes.
To live in a world with no religion, no poverty or hunger, a brotherhood of man, yes I Imagine I'd like that.
I for one reject your " Statistical Science" mumbo jumbo egghead.
"Australia, Austria, Canada, the Czech Republic, Finland, Ireland, the Netherlands, New Zealand and Switzerland."
But just look at what unbearable hell-holes of misery & woe that jealous old war-god Yahweh turned the lands of those unbelieving scum into!
Low unemployment, free health-care, generous social safety-nets, tolerance, diversity, (in most) legal same-sex marriage, civil rights galore … yep, a regular Gehenna, every one of 'em.
You know who else trusts in god? Muslims, that's who.
The xtians hate them for their rigorous prayer schedule. Seriously.
This is sure to create a million new jobs for those out of work stone masons, I guess?
Yes, if by 'stone mason' you mean cheap plastic manufacturer, and if they work in China.
Wait, masons, as in Freemason? That's it – the "in god we trust", together with the eye-pyramid on the back of the dollar, are part of a Masonic spell to extend their secret control of the world!
This sounds like a job for Nicolas Cage!
no, No, NO! But I would go for "In Dog We Trust."
That companion dog is Japan is far more honorable than these lipless hypocrites. Dog me up, dog dammit!
Now you're talking! 4 paws up.
DOG is my co-pilot.
Canine-centric comment makes Ceiling Cat cry.
You liberals don't get it. When a john pays $20 to get blown by a hooker in a fetid, urine-soaked alleyway, while a drunken derelict looks on and a worm-ridden stray cat pukes into a nearby trash can, it honors God to have his name on that $20.
He's honored again when the hooker uses the $20 to buy crack.
So that's how John Boehner got his name.
Um, that's quite a lot of detail. You must have a vivid "imagination."
I was moved by the Holy Spirit.
I still get a kick out of "Save the date".
1 Hey…are you going to the rapture?
2 Nah…I have a dentist appointment that day.
1 Dude…you were supposed to save the date!
2. Yeah…but I made this appointment months ago. You know how hard it is to get a dentist appointment.
So do I have this wrong or what …. :
Rapture comes, bright lights go off like the end of a Whitesnake concert, and all the signed-on dues-paid Christards immediately vanish and go away somewhere forever .. ? That's the storyline, right ?
The unenlightened, the uninformed, the unwilling– the rest of us- all stick around.
Through the wars, floods, fires, and all the generally apocalyptic shit that — is going on anyway as we speak ?
So it's down to Apocalypse With, or Apocalypse Without … (the scoldy, fingerwaggy christards) ….!!??
Hmmm.
Yeah – I'm hoping a lot of the rapturees drive really sweet cars so I can score when when they go floaty-bye-bye.
they have stupid vans with stupid bumper stickers. I do not think I will be getting a Jaguar out of one of them.
true – the average ones are pretty sad. but you should see some of the rides in the southern baptist church parking lot down the street from my house. there's a few audis, beemers, mercs and even some S80 volvos. volvos! in a southern baptist parking lot! besides – after they're all gone, more gasoline for us to fill up their gashog rides.
Most of them seem to drive the GMC asbigasitcomes that gets 5 mpg.
It's Apocalypse Without the christards, but WITH all their stuff that gets left behind. So I'm planning on finding some Prosperity Gospel proponents to tail that day. Bonus: the 3X polo shirts can serve as emergency shelters.
My guess is that there are plenty of dentist appointments in Hell. So, I'll just wait a few weeks.
Little Shop of Horrors?
Republican objective – eliminate every minority no matter how small.
Does that include whites in Texas?
The Republicans ARE a minority. Get Crackin' Retards!
Jeebus, sir please, when you come back on May 21st. Would you please round up these jackholes and take them someplace? I know you don't want them, but we can't stand them anymore.
If God gave us this Congress, our trust has been misplaced.
In God We trust
In Kochs sucking we must
and, In interns we lust
Why stop with public buildings? Put it on all strip clubs, bars, liquor stores, gun stores. Why not all guns themselves? And require all gunmakers to etch likenesses of the founding fathers on all firearms, with "In God We Trust" on one side and the text of the Second Amendment on the other side? Put it on every government-contracted item, like marriage licenses, submarines, nuclear warheads, national parks, roads, bridges, grave markers, wine, grocery stores, homeless shelters, and on and on.
Man, you're almost gettin' Blingee with it!
Well, Trijicon (manufacturer of reflex sights for rifles) inscribes bible verses on all of their products, and they have one hell of a big gub'mint contract, so we're nearly there.
"…E Pluribus Unum (literally, “to cum like a communist”)." Just as long as we don't EVER have to see Boehner's O face.
You know I trusted God once to house sit and he drank all my liquor, broke my toilet, lost my dog and stole my VCR.
I'm a dyslexic who trusts in Dog.
My father-in-law's name is Doug. I trust him for the most part. He just sits and carves things out of driftwood.
You heard the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac, right?
Dyslexics of the world UNTIE
Screw that. God is so far in arrears right now, he needs to work hard to earn back this lil' dreamer's trust.
A little compliment about my appearance now and then might make things better, maybe help with the housework, take me someplace special . . . make me feel like his Capn again.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is gonna be soooo pissed when he hears about this.
Ramen, my brother- or my sister!
Dlysexics untie, in dog we lust.
Wofo!
Not even Thor? But he's saved us from the likes of his brother Loki, The Destroyer, Ego the Living Planet, and The God-Eater Atum.
I saw they got Kenneth Branagh (!) to direct Thor, but seeing your comment, I can only imagine how awesomely fucked-up the movie could have been with Atom Egoyan directing.
In Mottos We Trust.
Given the Ronald Reagan Legacy Project, this kind of legislative initiative is a redundancy that can easily be eliminated at neither cost nor risk to the country.
Plastering regligious platitudes = Boehners Jobz program. Because he's too fucking stupid to think of anything that might actually create jobs….jobs, jobs, jobs….where are the jobs Johnny?
Commies did it.. A lot. Look at how they turned out.
With 10,000 km of high speed rail?
Oh come now Hagajim Boner is not stupid, he just doesn't give a fuck, if doing nothing lets him keep his job then nothing it is.
Think of the dozens of painters and craftsmen this new initiative will employ to deface.. I mean improve, your local government building.
I propose: WTF.
Less money and more appropriate.
What is it with these fucks? One can be a Democrat, a progressive, a moderate, a liberal, whatever there is other than a Republikkan and not deal with the god thing at all. Priest and nuns were killed by Oliver North supplied death squads while working with campesinos in Central America. Bertrand Russell wrote "Why I am not a Christian" and was a big deal anti-war activist. If you are on the right side of things–against war, in favor of decent living standards for everyone–no one gives a FLYING FUCK if you worship god, Satan, yo momma or no one at all.
Republikkans are manic scum clothed in religious garb.
Muscular Jeebus is gonna git you
"Republikkans are manic scum clothed in religious garb."
I'd drink to that, if I drank.
I do, so I will.
If ya could only find a place in yer heart fer Gawd he'd enlightin ya in His ways….
The real question is, if God were real, would he trust them?
Original idea was to just have the initials: " IGWT" tattooed on the Penis, then suddenly realized none of the legislators had enough room for all that.
Somebody's got a sandy vagina and God is pissed.
"In God We Trust" is going to be in the all the all you can eat joints? How will they see the prices? It's gonna be in the way of senior discount prices and dinner prices. Jesus Golden Corral Christ this is never gonna work.
My retirement investment strategy will look entirely different if May 21st is the end of the world. My work schedule will probably change quite a bit too. Has this been confirmed by two sources, like Watergate?
Oh yes, Sarah and the voice in her head both heard it.
On the one hand, we have this commie agnostic elitist who thinks that apocalyptic predictions are just the ravings of madmen. On the other hand, SAVE THE DATE!
-CNN, your most trusted name in news.
I can't wait to see the faces on the evangelicals when Christ shows up looking like a cross between Tommy Chong circa 1978 and Woody Allen.
Right on…and I can't wait for the big guy to appear on Pat Robertson's show. When Pat stands up to shake JC's and, JC will say, "Hey Pat…you dropped something." When he bends over to pick it up, Jesus will boot him in the ass so hard he'll fly across the studio.
"In Bong We Trust"
To hell with "Sputnik moments" — we need more "E Pluribus Unum " moments.
Why are they going generic? Grow some spine, christ-tards, it should say "In Jesus Christ we Trust, being saved through Faith alone and not Works." (This would wedge-off the Catholic wing of the christ-tard coalition) ("Faith alone" as opposed to "faith and good works" means you go to heaven even if you are a selfish mean-hearted prick bastard who never helped anyone and never gave a dime to aid the unfortunate).
"….AndAnd It's Merry CHRISTMAS, not HAPPY HOLIDAYS!"
By "selfish mean-hearted prick bastard who never helped anyone and never gave a dime to aid the unfortunate" do you mean a Republican? Why not just say it? Well, to be fair, you'd have to amend it to read selfish "never helped anyone unless it was a donation to get my kid in the right sort of trust fund madrassa."
The Catholic Church's secret, though, is that the "good works" part primarily refers to practicing the right arcane rituals, such as the one where god forgives you for confessing your sins in a dark, cramped room to a sexual deviant, or just give the church a whole lot of money. Sin all you want, it's OK as long as you feel bad about it and repent in the proper manner.
Which explains why it was OK for Ollie and Ronnie to kill those priests and nuns in Central America.
Well duh, if God didn't hate the poor He would have made them rich. Stupid hippie.
do NOT piss off librarians.
Would be an entirely appropriate motto to be emblazoned on all the bridges they can't afford to repair.
Especially that asshole, Zeus. Bull? Swan? Golden Shower? Dude…make up your mind.
You know, the few women I've tried that transmogrification stunt with have pretty much been scared shitless.
I have a proposal. Let's go with either the second amendment or with "in God we trust." They seem to be contradictory, don't they?.
here is what the 112th has accomplished so far*:
1. attempted to repeal health care
2. attempted to curtail abortion (twice)
3. attempted to defund the corporation for public broadcasting.
now we get god mottos. this is awesome. in a time of flood, fire, nuclear meltdown and revolutions in the middle east, the 112th risks becoming the Nero of congressional history.
*according to wikipedia which i trust more than god.
"risks?"
I'll take that bet!
Better to have the House GOP pushing base-pleasing crap that won't get passed the Senate than actually doing something concrete, I guess.
When I think Senate I don't think so much "concrete" as "very loose stool".
Well, they balanced the budget, paid off our debt, and we have 0% unemployment. It's Miller Time!
Anybody gonna be surprised to learn Koch Engraving and Signage will be no-bid contracted to do all this work? And these people claim government does not create jobs. Creates gazillions of jobs for their cronies very day.
If this clown was troubled by the omission of God in public events and buildings, he would have gone off his nut if he'd been at the Constitutional Convention. They actually decided to say no to Franklin's suggestion a local clergyman open the sessions with prayer.
And we know how godly Franklin was, or maybe he meant it ironically and Madison left that out of his notes.
Whatever happened to the 'No Fat Chicks' national motto?
That would bring a Children of Men type outcome. So, no.
Then might I suggest as a national motto: "Fat chicks need lovin' too"
Thats been superseded by "Tits or Get The Fuck Out," often shortened to "Tits or GTFO."
I thought it was "Ass, grass or cash! Nobody rides for free!"
The fat chicks ate it!
Point of this is to expose the atheist homosexual abortionist-left, who can now be campaigned against with the simple & simple-minded slogan :
"Out Of Touch With Real American Values — Voted Against In-God-We-Trust"
Case closed, move forward to re-enactment of medieval witch hunts & bad meat.
Welcome to The Jungle.
This is just the first step. Imagine how much money the nation can save by trusting in god. Who needs social programs? God will take care of it. Government agencies and regulations? No problem, god has it under control. He will inspect the food and route the aircraft so they don't run into each other.
This nonsense has finally provided the incentive I needed to get that little fish-with-feet Darwin sticker for my car that I have been meaning to get for years. Not that it will help anything but it will make me feel better.
Who needs a nuklear arsenal when you have Gawd on your side, or Gott Mitt Uns as the old belt buckles say.
I had one on my old car. Now I have a Prius- the car tiself says everything- really.
Please tell me you were stoned. I shudder to think of the horror of watching it straight.
Does drinking count?
Oh yes. It better.
Oh, so THAT'S the secret.
We have contraception and snark. They have quiverfull families and inbred mothers doin' up the homeschooling. Hence, they win the numbers game, but we get the "good" beer.
http://www.gadailynews.com/national/59383-former-...
The 'good' beer is Bud, love it! Just means more Stella for me.
They may be outbreeding the left, but not all of their spawn stay brainwashed their entire lives; look at how half the Phelps grandchildren have split from Westboro Baptist and speak out against the family.
Oh okay then we won't post anything like this on Wonkette ever again, sorry you didn't like it enough.
/banned for dumbness
You are just, but strong when it is required. Almost God-like.
Smite them, Ken. Smite the Ungodly.
ALL HAIL POPECAT!!!!11!!!
Good time to share with you my favorite billboard of all time, in I-35, near Stillwater exit. (Alas, sign is gone now).
It began with a Bible verse from Exodus. (At least that's the book I think it was)
FREE MY PEOPLE! (Exodus —)
JOE BOB'S BAIL BONDS, STILLWATER
Because here in the Bible Belt, Jesus is our pitchman.
Carve IN DOG WE TRUST and see how long it takes them to notice the error.
And risk the cries of outrage from Big Cat? That way, my friend, lies madness.
Big Cat would probably just be really passive-aggressive about it.
You would think they'd prefer the Latin. It sounds so imperial.
You think they can properly translate Latin, with all its declensions? They'd probably end up with "People called the gods, they trust into us".
If they use automatic weapons to "engrave" this on the buildings, it won't cost the taxpayers a dime. Everyone knows bullets (and Tomahawk missiles) are free!
This is why when I keep hearing all of these "threats" to secede I just want to scream "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD *GO* ALREADY." The Founders really missed an opportunity when they didn't stick language about kicking states OUT of the Union into the Constitution.
A woman pastor?! Blaspheme!!!
>>>Congressman J. Randy Forbes (R-VA), the founder and chairman of the Congressional Prayer Caucus
If buttplugs are outlawed, and you wanted to do a high-profile sting, the "Congressional Prayer Caucus" is the first place I'd look for violators.
E Pompitous Santorum.
Sounds like a W. C. Fields character.
Pssst…
God and Jesus are incestuous gay lovers who give each other under-the-robe reach-arounds while having holy buttsecks in the Heaven bathhouse as trumpet blowing underage angels circle jerk on to their cum-encrusted beards and shit like, literally, all the fucking time.
(Trust in it…and pass it on.)
I can only support this if it's written in both Hebrew and Arabic.
And this guy's from Virginia, for fuck's sake. Imagine what they're planning in the big A's: Alaska, Alabama and Arizona.
Flag worship is disgusting in all forms. Honest to God, if you can't tell the difference between your country and a piece of cloth, you shouldn't be allowed to vote.
I don't distrust god; I just feel better when he's not around.
I'm just saying, if I saw god flying on a plane, I would get worried. I would get nervous.
Especially in that "god-garb", identifying himself as a god.
The best part is how very close "In God We Trust" is to "Allah'hu Akbar". The jokes just write themselves!
Also, I'm TOTALLY sticking that date on my calendar. I hear this season of Christ is going to be wilder and wackier than EVER!
It would be chuckalicious to see the reaction if these people ever got enough consciousness to relate that they want to do in this country what the Ayatollahs have done in Iran.
Intellectual descendants? Will the next generation descend even lower? What's below this, mollusks? No mollusks have a certain dignity, sorry Paul.
It'll make Shark Week seem like 5 minutes!
In God we Trust (This does not include the Catholic and Mormon God)
Goes without saying. This is the southern god, GAWD.
Perfect solution to the problem of not letting welfare recipients have any access to actual money, as in Minnesota.
Oh just give them EVERYTHING they want. Then they'll HAVE to let us all have buttsecks in public. Won't they?
Could we go more secular and use "Make lemonade!"
Actually I prefer the old Lutheran crosses from the 30's with the swastika on top instead of the In Hoc Signo Vinces that Constantine's army used.
We really need to have a 3 point upfist for comments like this one. Bravo.
I thought our motto was "In Debt to China."
Either way, we should inscribe our motto in Mandarin to make it easier for our overlords to read.
Government so small it tells us what supernatural deity to believe in. Got it.
He's clearly a very small and petty god.
I suppose it is shorter than "So insecure in my faith that I have to use the mechanisms of the state to bring it up all that time".
He is coming on May 21, 2011 to be the commencement keynote speaker at the Beck University.
A god with an honorary degree in Beckology? Now that's I god I could trust in.
The appropriate motto should be "In White-People-Jesus We Trust".
And his mother, Gloriously Blonde Mary.
Really, I saw a sticker on a car today of a Jesus who looked like a country/western singer. I guess they really wouldn't like the real middle eastern Jesus(if Jesus existed- at least, he would look middle eastern and not blond haired, blue eyed with a tiny nose)
What kind of vain and insecure god needs all this constant reaffirmation? Is your god Stuart Fucking Smalley or something?
I'll believe in God when he directs a bolt of lightening straight to this guy and Franklin Graham. Until then, I'm putting my faith in the Fukushima 50 (or 200, or however many of those people are sacrificing themselves so we're not forced to inhabit a radioactive apocalypse…).
And next they will build a colosseum to put all of us "non-believers" in to fight the gladiators.
Rob Sherman of Illinois separation of church and state fame will be all over this one. He’s trying to get a teacher fired for mentioning creationism in a science classroom…and his kids don’t even attend that school
Fuck God.
I think my dad(gone for 25 years now- dead, I mean – he didn't just leave us) told me that one, a lot.
In Stupidity We Trust.
Millions and millions of dollars to the stone carving faction. I didnt know rock carvers were conservative but it make sense. the GOP would love us to go back to the stone age, obvsly.
The librarians I know (o.k. one and he's my brother) are planing to emigrate to Spain because of trains and paella.
This was done by my representative. I couldn't be less proud.
What up with May 21?
Someone on the Staten Island ferry today with a sandwich board about JC and May 21.
I was listening to the NPR this morning and they were talking to some lunatic who is convinced that May 21st, at about 6pm California time, the Rapture is coming and he has written a book about it, so I suspect that is what started all this. He is the one responsible for that billboard , I think.
But how can one understand the love of god without a lot hatred of the gheys?
Let's just shelve this motion until May 22nd, shall we?
I don't see any problem with this – just as long as they leave enough room for the "L" between the "O" & the "D" … you know, for when the REAL owners decide the whole "representative government" clown-show isn't getting them enough of a return on their investment.
Also, I've read the KJB cover to cover, & it says only 144,000 lucky customers will get to go to Cloudsville after the Apocalypso Gog-versus-Magog cage-match (& seems to imply pretty strongly that they're all going to be, er, um, well, Hebrews). Looks like Thee Rapture Of Thee Elect isn't exactly going to be a global meat-hailstorm in reverse.
Jesus is returning. And He has an STD!
At the time of official adaptation of the motto "In God We Trust," (1956), the Democratic Party had yet to embrace the Civil Rights movement. In fact, they voted down the 1957 Civil Rights Act (LBJ was Speaker of the House, etc), which later became the 1964 Act, ironically bestowing LBJ with credit for the bill he had killed 7 years prior.
On the other hand, the Republicans who pushed the motto from Congress and the Oval Office were desegregating schools and pushing through historic Civil Rights legislation (Dwight Eisenhower was President, etc).
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