Dennis Kucinich To Impeach Obama Or Whatever

by Jack Stuef

Death in VeniceBrave sandwich survivor Dennis Kucinich was able to exist as a somewhat serious candidate for president the past two cycles because he gave red meat (certified-organic fair-trade local tofu “Reddmeete” sustainably collected from unwanted scraps left by wild animals) to libtards on their pet projects such as impeaching George W. Bush and making anything but world peace illegal. Libtards really, really liked that impeachment thing, and would never stop talking about it, even though there were legitimate problems and possible solutions to debate. Kucinich’s hot-wife-distracted brain has not forgotten this, so when he heard about President Obama deciding to bomb Libya, he quickly composed his 2012 platform: IMPEACH OBAMA!!!!1!!!1!!1

According to Kucinich, Obama’s decision “would appear on its face to be an impeachable offense,” though he questioned whether Congress would ever move forward with a trial in practice.

As reported earlier by Politico, Kucinich raised the specter of impeachment in a conference call with Democratic lawmakers on Saturday.

He questioned whether Congress would ever move forward with a trial? That never stopped him before. Do it, Kucinich! Start the impeachment! This will be fun.

Should presidents just bomb things whenever they want to? Probably not! But how often do presidents commit impeachable offenses? Probably two or three times a day. If we removed from office every president who does something impeachable, we would very quickly wind up with a President Kucinich, under whose leadership America would swiftly be beaten up and have all its money stolen by Canada. [TPM]

 

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{ 113 comments }

TanzbodenKoenig March 22, 2011 at 11:05 am

Doesn't meet or exceed the blow job requirement, this is over before it even begins

horsedreamer_1 March 22, 2011 at 11:14 am

Libya shot first, so we won the circle-jerk. Impeachment, therefore, off the table.

ifthethunderdontgetya March 22, 2011 at 11:05 am

If we removed from office every president who does something impeachable, we would very quickly wind up with a President Kucinich, under whose leadership America would swiftly be beaten up and have all its money stolen by Canada.

How is this any worse than what's happening to our monies right now?
~

CrunchyKnee March 22, 2011 at 11:09 am

True, and at least America would have a hot wife to make the sexytimes with.

nounverb911 March 22, 2011 at 11:12 am

Does Kucinich share?

V5¹6℠56³94 March 22, 2011 at 11:14 am

He probably doesn't think he does.

Sophist [DDS,DD,DFH] March 22, 2011 at 11:11 am

It doesn't kill any wogs or make the rich any richer.

HedonismBot March 22, 2011 at 6:14 pm

The crooks on Wall Street were OUR crooks.

Allmighty_Manos March 22, 2011 at 11:06 am

What's going on with Bono?

widestanceroman March 22, 2011 at 11:11 am

Bono? I thought the photo was from Angry Birds 2.0.

nounverb911 March 22, 2011 at 11:12 am

Sonny Bono?

V5¹6℠56³94 March 22, 2011 at 11:15 am

The late Sonny whose widow/successor-to the-hereditary-Palm-Springs-pocket-borough is now a confirmed boob-licker?

Sophist [DDS,DD,DFH] March 22, 2011 at 11:13 am

Bono? I thought that was a photo of a lesbian Kim Jong Il impersonator.

ManchuCandidate March 22, 2011 at 11:14 am

I thought that was Elvis!

Cicada March 22, 2011 at 11:27 am

That's clearly zombie Johnny Cash. Easy mistake to make.

ttommyunger March 22, 2011 at 11:06 am

Meanwhile, Dennis' super-hot wife remarked to reporters: "If Dennis kept face between my thighs where it belonged, he wouldn't be making such stupid ass statements!".

ManchuCandidate March 22, 2011 at 11:14 am

If he won't… I will.

ttommyunger March 22, 2011 at 12:29 pm

He might not. I like him, but he acts a little dorky. He might just be a little backward in that area.

BarackMyWorld March 22, 2011 at 11:19 am

Tally ho!

ttommyunger March 22, 2011 at 12:59 pm

After the Fox!

The_Great_Gazoo March 22, 2011 at 11:58 am

No danger of dental damage there. Plenty of floss, too.

PublicLuxury March 22, 2011 at 11:07 am

Where was his voice when the bush was starting illegal wars? I didn't hear him pulling his pork all over the trial for impeachment. Oh, I forgot, that's because the libtards took impeachment OFF THE FUCKING TABLE. Republitards OTOH got elected on their impeach and repeal platform.

Lascauxcaveman March 22, 2011 at 11:44 am

Actually, I do remember on various occasions his squeaky little voice making noises about impeachment for Bush. It was pretty adorable, and one of the reasons I love Dennis so. (And not just his hot wife.)

CapnFatback March 22, 2011 at 11:47 am

Ummm . . . sure, it was later in the process, but in fact Kucinich was the prime pork puller. It would appear that Kucinich is putting ideals over politics here, a type of pork we all should be pumped to pull.

gurukalehuru March 22, 2011 at 11:51 am

You can't blame Dennis for that. Nancy's fault.

GOPCrusher March 22, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Dennis did bring up impeaching Bush on several occasions. Problem being, Tom DeLay and the other Republiklans kept telling him to sit down and shut up, the few Democrats refused to join in the call, and the Lamestream Media lived in fear of having weaponized anthrax show up in their mail.

PublicLuxury March 22, 2011 at 11:08 am

This here is 'Merica gawddamnit. We'll bomb who the fuck we want, when the fuck we want, and how the fuck we want. Got that World?

Mumbletypeg March 22, 2011 at 11:18 am

Hopey walks the slippery slope: "I'm a >carnage< lover, not a >carnage< fighter!"

Texan_Bulldog March 22, 2011 at 11:09 am

I'd forgotten about the famous Kucinich Sandwich Incident. That, combined with all his other weird drunken uncle-type rantings, kind of puts his credibility at risk, eh? I am impressed that he keeps getting re-elected though, since OH seems to be where fun goes to die.

V5¹6℠56³94 March 22, 2011 at 11:16 am

Not while MI is still….

Oh, never mind.

Cicada March 22, 2011 at 11:31 am

kind of puts his credibility at risk, eh?

Yeah, this is really making me question the veracity of his UFO sighting.

harry_palmer March 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

Is Kucinich making a pitiful, Obama-esque attempt to get the Repugs to like him?

Fare la Volpe March 22, 2011 at 11:13 am

He'll start asking about a birth certificate as 2012 looms.

GuanoFaucet March 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

Fucking hobbit. Did that olive pit lodge itself in his frontal lobes?

ManchuCandidate March 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

Oh elfin Kooch… why?

Isn't having an unbelievably hot, smart, much younger than you and tall redhead wife enough?

stanpan March 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

Looks like someone came back from the Fonzie Convention with quite a chip on his shoulder.

freakishlywrong March 22, 2011 at 11:14 am

Actually, that was a chip in his tooth. Badadum.

stanpan March 22, 2011 at 11:22 am

Golf clap.

SorosBot March 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

Considering that Congress didn't impeach Truman, Eisenhower, JFK, LBJ, Nixon, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, or Bush when they did started bombings without Congressional authorization, I'd say that ship has sailed.

comptoneffect March 22, 2011 at 11:28 am

For a chance to impeach the Kenyan in the WH, I bet that ship can be recalled.

Fare la Volpe March 22, 2011 at 11:10 am

I voted for this Keebler elf in the primary.

Sigh.

EatsBabyDingos March 22, 2011 at 11:11 am

Kucinich should run for prezinut with Paw-T on a bipartisan Ambien Ticket: Motto: "Yawning while watching Dancing with the Stars, because it is after 8!"

freakishlywrong March 22, 2011 at 11:11 am

Thanks Dennis. This further allows the ole' "both sides" nonsense. Now they're all yelling that the LEFT and the RIGHT are questioning this decision and or bemoaning "dithering". What the hell, the retardis were going to impeach him for something.. Might as well let a Democrat get that ball rolling. Fucking assclown.

Gratuitous World March 22, 2011 at 11:13 am

has a little ;'kim jong il' look going there. must be looking for even less legitimacy.

elviouslyqueer March 22, 2011 at 11:14 am

Oh, go back to Middle Earth, you constipated hobbit. And by "Middle Earth," I mean your wife's clitoris.

Gopherit March 22, 2011 at 12:30 pm

I think that may be the problem. Dennis is acting like he's not getting any……but instead of being grouchy, he's acting like a two year old.

Also, Elizabeth……Call me.

horsedreamer_1 March 22, 2011 at 11:15 am

This is why Lebron needed to leave Cleveland.

ويجا المجلس March 22, 2011 at 11:15 am

Thought he broke his tooth on an olive pit, not a peach pit. What with this in peach mint nonsense? Is this a new Bin and Jhari flavor? Is he having a Duane Allman flashback?

Terry March 22, 2011 at 11:16 am

Ohio. Always Ohio, I swear.

karen March 22, 2011 at 11:48 am

You know you love us.

Terry March 22, 2011 at 11:54 am

True. What other state has produced the absolute wild variety of elected officials?

Andrew Drinker March 22, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Besides Minnesota?

Terry March 22, 2011 at 12:27 pm

One word. Trafficant.

Callyson March 22, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Trying to catch up to Arizona.

XOhioan March 23, 2011 at 1:49 am

It's the mother of Presidents. And assholes with orange tans.

LabRodent March 22, 2011 at 11:19 am

Do not try to bend the spoon – thats impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth – THERE IS NO SPOON…. Neo all day long.

jus_wonderin March 22, 2011 at 11:19 am

Dennis Kucinich? Everything I hear or read his name I feel I need to visit the pharamacy or the free clinic.

Pragmatist2 March 22, 2011 at 11:21 am

There is no purpose to any article on Dennis Kucinich that does not include a gratuitous photo of his inexplicably hot wife. Actually, there is no purpose to Dennis Kucinich except as a prop in a photo that includes his inexplicably hot wife.

jus_wonderin March 22, 2011 at 11:24 am

How might we lure her into the frame??? Diamonds?

SorosBot March 22, 2011 at 11:33 am

Whore diamonds?

horsedreamer_1 March 22, 2011 at 12:01 pm

You know what Chris Rock said about a woman — or man — with a pierced tongue.

Ruhe March 22, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Now imagine if you will that Kucinich gets re-districted right out of congress. Immediately he starts making the rounds of the talking-heads shows as a new career. He's the perfect foil, entertainment wise, for blowhards like Newt. So one day while on Fox air with Newt to debate whether Obama should be impeached for going into Libya or impeached for refusing to use nukes on Libya Newt happens to notice Kucinich's wife standing just beyond the lights and cameras. Kucinich follows Newt's gaze and then, just before coming back from a commercial, Kucinich silently mouths to Gingrich "all night long baby." A dumbfounded Gingrich looses the debate and Fox impeaches Barry for being a bully not a pussy.

tessiee March 22, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I like this if for no other reason than how much it aggravates Newt.

ulTIMum March 22, 2011 at 11:23 am

The original "high crimes" which went with misdemeanors as impeachable grounds, so to speak, was specifically designed for dropping rocks from weather balloons. History!

aguacatero March 22, 2011 at 11:26 am

This seems as apt a time as any for one of my favorite thousand lines from Lebowski:

"You're not wrong, [Dennis]. You're just an asshole."

Ruhe March 22, 2011 at 12:05 pm

That's it in nutshell. Sometimes you can be right and still be on the wrong side of things.

riverside68 March 22, 2011 at 12:34 pm

I'm sorry, I wasn't listening, could you repeat that?

arihaya March 22, 2011 at 11:26 am

Beware you,,,l Dennis Kuchinich was endorsed by Aragorn

lilblacktombo March 22, 2011 at 11:26 am

My hair is a bird. Your presidency is invalid.

SayItWithWookies March 22, 2011 at 11:27 am

I doubt impeachment would fly — on the other hand, a hypothetical President Biden would probably have liberated Wisconsin before he liberated Libya, so there's that to consider.

prommie March 22, 2011 at 11:27 am

I have always admired him for his stance on Chemtrails and his bill to outlaw them, and for his proposal to have the federal government subsidize the purchase of tinfoil so that even low-income members of the public would be able to protect themselves from the mind-control rays.

FrankMerton March 22, 2011 at 11:29 am

kusinitch used to be a real hero but im afraid maybe someone is forcing him to do this how can he tun against pres obama this is racist koch bros stuff

hagajim March 22, 2011 at 11:31 am

At least old Dennis is consistent…I'll give him (and Ron Paul) that anyway….

PartyMarty March 22, 2011 at 11:35 am

Isn't DK already locked in an intractable legal battle with an olive pit? One fearsome foe at a time, munchkin.

But in all honesty, having Kucinich go after him is probably the best thing that could possibly happen to BObams.

aguacatero March 22, 2011 at 11:40 am

Are you suggesting it's scripted — a sort of "wag the elf" strategy?

meufchelou March 22, 2011 at 11:35 am

Mmm makes me want peach pie. But if I make one would Dennis sue me for a peachable offense?

Sorry, time for lunch…

jus_wonderin March 22, 2011 at 11:39 am

Mmmmm. Pie.

Troubledog March 22, 2011 at 11:43 am

Fucking hippies.

No, literally. I'm on board with that.

SorosBot March 22, 2011 at 11:51 am

They should take a shower first, though.

WhatTheHeck March 22, 2011 at 11:46 am

I only take him seriously when he’s wearing his “Rebel without a cause” pleather jacket and standing next to his wife, the other “Reddmeete.”

Oldskool_ March 22, 2011 at 11:47 am

I also once broke a tooth on a galldanged olive pit . That's who we should impeach, Greeks and their galldanged olives.

Weenus299 March 22, 2011 at 11:48 am

Yeah but he has a hot wife so FTW.

horsedreamer_1 March 22, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Charlie Sheen:Bree Olson::Dennis Kucinich:Elizabeth (Harper) Kucinich.

Hatrabbit March 22, 2011 at 11:49 am

Dennis Kucinich is President of Pissing In The Wind-ville.

fuflans March 22, 2011 at 11:49 am

president trump will take care of all these pesky details.

MozakiBlocks March 22, 2011 at 11:50 am

Seeing as how Dennis will probably be redistricted out of Congress, I guess he's decided to go all in. Twerp!
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2011/03/22/k

jus_wonderin March 22, 2011 at 11:51 am

Space Preservation Act? Does this refer to sex?

LiveToServeYa March 22, 2011 at 11:52 am

Good job on insuring Obama will never be impeached, Dennis.

baconzgood March 22, 2011 at 11:56 am

WHERE'S Kucinich's "long form" birth certificate?

BarackMyWorld March 22, 2011 at 11:58 am

If we removed from office every president who does something impeachable, we would very quickly wind up with a President Kucinich…

I, for one, welcome our new hobbit overlords, their hot wives, and their sandwiches.

Well, mostly just the last two. Mmmm….sandwiches…

Ruhe March 22, 2011 at 12:00 pm

"a President Kucinich, under whose leadership America would swiftly be beaten up and have all its money stolen by Canada." At which point Kucinich would calmly point at his super-hot wife and say "scoreboard, Canadian bitches." It's not about winning the little battles Jack, it's about winning the war and the scrawny geek with the hottest wife is clearly the victor.

jonzin March 22, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Clinton got away with a blow job and we all know that's much worse than sending troops to kill browns. So, I'm thinking Obamar will get away with it! And the Repukes still owe us one for not riding Dutch out of town on a rail after Iran/Contra.

El Pinche March 22, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Repukes owe Barry big time. And no fucking yellowcake required.

gurukalehuru March 22, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Actually, I'm hoping that this is the 3 dimensional chess move we've all been waiting for. Impeach over bombing Libya, get all the baggertards on board, then you can call all previous presidents who've ever dealt with Gaddafi, Bush takes the stand, we get to ask him about all of his bombings, including the World Trade Center.

Andrew Drinker March 22, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Well fine, Jack, since your irradiated brain didn't think of posting a picture of Dennis's sexbot, here are some goodies I found on the intarwebs for all of us pervs!

Ladies and gentlemen, the gorgeous Elizabeth Kucinich: http://viralroots.blogspot.com/2007/05/elizabeth-

BTWBFDIMHO March 22, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Obama can't win, whatever he does is wrong.
Prez LB Johnson had a similar problem, but he put it nicely:
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim".

MinAgain March 22, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Dennis is a kook, but he's a principled kook. You have to admire that in a person.

Gopherit March 22, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Wow…..Dennis Kucinich and Pat Buchanan agree on an issue. It's the endtimes, people. I'll get the popcorn.

El Pinche March 22, 2011 at 12:30 pm

You know you're doing your job when EVERYBODY wants to impeach yo ass.

problemwithcaring March 22, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Can I say for the record one more time how much I fucking love that he pushed that whole impeachment thing? I really, really do.

dailyworldwatch March 22, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Elizabeth Kucinich http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-496213/Th

Now that must be the reason…

Callyson March 22, 2011 at 12:45 pm

And here I thought McSame was a sore loser.

user-of-owls March 22, 2011 at 12:56 pm

I'm late to this party. Have we heard from naderkucinichlittledebbieajaxbungabunga yet?

philpjfry March 22, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Fuck you Kucinich. You dwarf sore looser cocksucker.

Guppy06 March 22, 2011 at 1:43 pm

If we're going to impeach Barry, I'd rather it be over the whole torture thing.

bumfug March 22, 2011 at 1:51 pm

When Barry has him whacked I call dibs on the wife.

GOPCrusher March 22, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Its the Chicago Way!

Extemporanus March 22, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Until Kucinich takes a crack at curtailing that cunt Kasich, he can hop down off his high chair and go fuck himself.

ThundercatHo March 22, 2011 at 1:58 pm

I love Dennis, I really do. Yeah, he's a goofy, little Vegan but impeaching Bush and the Dept of Peace, how can you not love that? However, speaking as a native Clevelander, Dennis is like your crazy aunt who has 14 cats, wears outrageous hats and talks to herself in the grocery store. But, she always made you great treats, gave you money, asked interesting questions and did not judge so even though eccentric you loved her madly.

kilgoretrout2 March 22, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Man, Kim John Il looks awful.

Angry_Marmot March 23, 2011 at 4:31 am

Me, I'm thinking about the peach…

TweetOnIt June 6, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Osama Obama Biden Bin Laden
One coincidence? Two coincidences?
NO COINCIDENCE

NEW WORLD ORDER PLAYBOOK EXPOSED

Scam artists (Al-Qaeda) have cornered the market on affiliate marketing education. Their sites use aliases, bogus whois info, and registrations in different states and countries. What are they hiding?

Many get rich quick scams serve as product placement for new cutting edge internet technologies, and logos, some sold through Clickbank. The people appearing in testimonials are part of the expansion of this organization and are often pitching other high priced products and services. They all link to one another through their marketing strategies and ability to optimize in search rankings.

Between the aliases the use, and the way in which they speak about things, everything they do has double meaning. Their faces in Google image search is similar to the picture book of symbols mentioned in The Da Vinci Code movie. Here is a code of look a likes pitching all sorts of stuff who are interconnected;

Selling a program on making millions online is Professor James Bradley who looks like the Pentagon bomber Bill Ayers.

Jay Conrad Levinson is behind a number of “guerilla” marketing and advertising books. He looks like George Soros, who’s last name is a (palin)drome. Soros has been credited for collapsing a number of nation’s currencies. George Soros has been quoted several times regarding his views on a New World Order.

The Super Affiliate Handbook is sold by someone who looks like Jill Biden, her name is Rosalind Gardner. Some appear to represent people, more in how they pose, rather then a direct look alike. Stephen Pierce appears to represent radical Van Jones, Brett McFall-Austan Goolsbee, John Childers-Andy Stern, and Jay Abraham as Ayman al-Zawahri, just to name a few.

Problem with your Google Adwords PPC ads and can’t get a straight answer? You could try Yanik Silver who looks a lot like Sergei Brin, but he probably won’t know. He sells 33 Days to Online Profits (prophets.) Why not try Perry Marshall, who looks like Obama’s priest Reverend Pfleger? He sells The Definitive Guide To Google Adwords, infringing upon Google’s trademark.

Many more can be found at Lorrie Morgan Ferrero’s Red-Hot-Copy blog such as; 72 Virgin Records Richard Branson, & White House Party Crashers the Salahi’s with Valerie Jarrett’s daughter.

The Rich Jerk sent out emails promoting Stompernet in Atlanta Georgia. The staff included Brad Fallon, an airline pilot, and Eben Pagan selling a seminar "Get Altitude". 3 days after reporting this code to the FBI, Delta in Atlanta canceled a large number of flights due to “safety reasons.” In the Youtube videos related to the Rich Jerk, it appears that Mark Cuban is the Rich Jerk. He’s the billionaire who owns the Dallas Maverick’s basketball team. Think O'bomber or Barrac-uda Palin would play for him? Another guy seen on Youtube claiming to be Robert Johnson Rich Jerk, is Tony Rezko.

Obama announced his run for office on Oprah Winfrey’s show. Have you ever noticed that Oprah’s friend Gayle King looks like Whitney Houston? Think that her name could be a code, Whit_ney White-Hous_ton House?

It appears the internet marketing experts controlled the comments, the headlines, and the finance of the last election online with the highest ranking site in Google search, Youtube.

In my strongest opinion this is the last piece of the puzzle, Osama Bin Laden is also a spokesperson, and a look-a-like. Osama represents Obama/Biden (Bi)n La(den.)

Here are wanted terrorists and their online aliases. Some are wanted for U.S. embassy bombings in Kenya & Indonesia. Do these two places ring any bells? http://illuminaticonspiracy.blogspot.com

Andrew Drinker March 22, 2011 at 12:41 pm

And Terry gets a checkmate!!!! :-P

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