Oh Yeah, America’s In Another War Somewhere (Libya?)

  everybody wang chung tonight

Ha ha because he is our enemy again! He is like a cartoon duck, to America.Sorry we forgot to post about America getting into a war with Muammar Gaddafi again. What with the radiation cloud headed across the Pacific from some melting nuclear hellscape and the air strikes on Gaddafi’s Libya, we can probably be forgiven for thinking, “Eh, it’s just those incredible mushrooms and also that MDMA and probably some peyote from 1986 kicking in, again.” Because the last time our “Reaganesque president” ordered U.S. military action against Libya, it was April 14, 1986. And the last time a distant nuke plant started spewing deadly radioactivity all over the place, it was April 26, 1986. WE WOULD LIKE TO HAVE SOME NEW DISASTERS, LIKE SPACE ALIEN ATTACKS. Jesus christ, do we have to relive the stupid ’80s forever? Look at this video, just look at it.


Same bullshit, different decade. [Reuters/BBC]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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464 comments

  1. PublicLuxury

    Why are you scaring the children and youth with that horrible monster video? Stop it.

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      scared the hell outta me seeing that evildoer again! btw, anybody else notice Ronnie didn't ask Gawd to bliss 'Merka? I thought he LUVS the Jesus? that can't be the REAL Raygun, must be a robot alien or sumthin'!

  2. chascates

    As George W. Bush might say, "the war against terror continues". As Dick Cheney might say, "corporate America will profit by this exercise in democracy". As the average Libyan might say, "we're still getting killed by SOMEONE".

    1. OneDollarJuana

      Obviously, the quarterly returns must have dropped a point or two, otherwise we wouldn't be going to war again.

      Dammit, I keep betting on reason and progress, when I should be betting on the war profiteers. Ever notice how many of the super-wealthy and powerful families in this country seem to have made their original fortunes arming warring nations?

    2. Beowoof

      Thus, we spent somewhere between 60 and 120 million dollars launching those missles.
      Depending upon which estimate of cost you believe. Thus, corporate profits are enhanced by bombing the shit out of this lowlife. What's the problem? Oh it could be all of those innocent civilians being killed. However, the republicans never cared about them in their own country, so fuck brown civilians who are trying to keep us from the oil.

      1. Swampgas_Man

        No, no it's only the BAD Libyans that are being blown up, their army's bugged out and we're shooting Mercenaries. We won't start killing civies until Saddam Gaddhafy is firmly deposed and we still don't have our oil.

      1. ulTIMum

        No, shopping at some upscale Walmart where they sell Gucci and stuff alluring to trailer trash who hit the lotto. One news site reported the grifter grab and was immediately blacklisted by the Palin paltry, which amounted to a news blackout because no other source was interested. Foreigns is funny about news.

      2. YasserArraFeck

        The Ganges…..a hideous flow of pestilence and filth……oh wait – that's after Snowbilly lowers her fetid nethers into the water. It's enough to make the dead leap out – even rotting corpses have their dignity.

    1. Negropolis

      Doesn't he ever do anything besides punishing? What, is the "loving God" stuck in a box/held up in traffic, or something? Because, this "vegenful God" is a dick.

  3. PublicLuxury

    Gaddafi has a weird name kind of Arab sounding so he and his country are bad. So we must send the holy bomb seed of the muscular Jeebus to give them potato chips and Applebees, oh and WHITE babies only.

  4. PublicLuxury

    I really, really hate Ronnie Raygun. I wish some rogue gang member would tag his tombstone or something.

    1. user-of-owls

      I'm still hoping for the whole 'time machine and pickled fetus' scenario. Call me an optimist.

    2. mayor_quimby

      Dear god, it would be terrible if you posted that to the twitter or whatnot, might start one of those memes….

    3. outragedcitizen

      Oh, God, me too! I despise that dead, senile, old fuck. I want to puke anything someone, (Rethug or teabagger) starts spouting off about what a great president he was.

      1. PublicLuxury

        His administration was the most corrupt in history, with 138 officials of the Reagan Criminal Empire serving time… In The BIG HOUSE. I really wish I wasn't a woman because then I good go and piss on his grave easily.

    4. CookiE_MonstA

      I think we should just dedicate our lives to spreading the gospel that Holy Saint Ronnie did not know SHIT about economics. He did know about selling. He sold American on the idea that someone, somewhere is getting something they do not deserve and YOU are being robbed to pay for it. Now, I'll go have another yummy Chesterfield Cigarette…

    1. Doktor Avalanche

      Barry's got a brother. I'll split the advance with you on a treatment for a Charlie Sheen/Obama's half-brother buddy flick.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        But which one- the one trying to build a business empire in China, or the one last seen living in a squatter's hut in Nairobi?

  5. LibrulEleet

    "The activity and success of the small force employed in the Mediterranean in the early part of the present year, the reenforcements sent into that sea, and the energy of the officers having command in the several vessels will, I trust, by the sufferings of war, reduce the barbarians of Tripoli to the desire of peace on proper terms."

    Thomas Jefferson's annual message to Congress, November 8, 1804

    1. Sophist [DDS,DD,DFH]

      If we have hurled ourselves a little further into the quagmire it is by leaping off the shoulders of Giants.

    2. comrad_darkness

      To the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli

      We have always been at war with Oceana.

  6. GuanoFaucet

    We're bombing Libya again? Gag me with a spoon! Anyone know where I left my acid washed jeans and Members Only jacket?

    1. smokefilledroommate

      You left your jacket at your neighbor's house when you were getting a Flowbee cut and watching Small Wonder, remember? I don't know where your pants are.

  7. Blendergoathead

    ZOMG Wonkette's server (based in a closet next to an anti-aircraft radar station in Tripoli) hasn't been bombed out of existence; I was worried we were going to be relegated to commenting on sidebars for this massive clusterfuck.

    eta: all we need now is Geraldo drawing a diagram in the sand, showing exactly where "allied" ground forces are going to attack.

    Good times!

  8. Walkinwiddaking

    Nah, unlike in Ronnie's era, I think Khadaffi's a goner this time. Just call it a leap of faith.

  9. ManchuCandidate

    I hope I didn't fall asleep in that hot tub time machine. I don't want to be short and fat with acne again like I was in 1986.

    Oh right… at least this time, cruise missiles and air strikes are being used for Freeduh… not oil… oh right.

    1. MistaEko

      We traveled through Hot Tub Time Machine?!?!

      Excuse me miss, what color is the president?

      ….white?

      AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    2. Swampgas_Man

      Back in college, spending my parents' money without any questions and still had enough energy to go out to the bars all weekend. I for one WELCOME our
      80's overlords.

  10. JustPixelz

    Repubicans are already griping that Obama hasn't "thought this through" and a "no fly zone" is inadequate. But for the best military and diplomatic strategy we must turn to Sarah Palin™. She has actually been to Canada! Whereas Obama's only foreign experience is hearing about Maui Maui Uprising from his grandfather, the WWII vet.

  11. Limeylizzie

    The late 80s again, I am going to head to some bar , have some cocktails, accept some cute man's offer of a ride home, end up in his bed , do the sex act with me on top ,and my back all arched so my tits look amazing and sneak out before he gets up in the morning…happy days.

    1. finallyhappy

      I was already married in 86, had one kid and am still married to the same guy so going back in time would only give me a crying puking child(I do mean the baby)

      1. WriteyWriterton

        Witcha, fh. Spouse had already pooped out number one, got busy running a theatre company, and left me home to feed, wash, diaper, read, discipline (parentally, not kinkily), and consume my last ounces of weed before I had to get a real (non-academic) job. 80s? Glad to see the back of 'em.

    2. mayor_quimby

      Your 86 was way better than mine, I was just figuring out how to feel girls up during recess in empty classrooms. Jeez, what the fuck were my teachers doing , cuz we ran fucking wild as soon as they turned their backs. There was a kid in my class that would just take his dick out and show it to girls until one of them touched it, I trust he is in a correctional institute now, hopefully.

      1. Limeylizzie

        That sounds insane, where on earth did you attend school? I went, of course, to an all-girls school from age 8-17, hence my later trampy episodes.

        1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

          As my friend Acacia observes, to really make it the 80s, you would need a couple bumps of coke.

        2. mayor_quimby

          I went to a boy/girl Episcopal(!) school on a caribbean island and it was an awesome experience. Never got close to actual sex, but back then getting your fingers wet was enough for bragging rights.
          The kids who had actual sex were GODS, but looking back they were probably lying. The romantic possibilities were actually endless, you could take a 1$ bus to a beautiful public beach, but that was outside our vocabulary, humping in a corner was a much more realistic option.
          Ahhh, good times.
          To complete the circle, tonight a female friend propositioned me for casual sex via text message, how awesome and modern is that?

          1. Barbara_i

            Let your freak flag fly, Mayor! I'm not sure what "casual sex" is. Does this mean you don't have to wear a cummerbund?

            Am I the only one who was married in high school? It seemed like such a brilliant idea at the time.

    3. undeterredbyreality

      Well, I don't know if I could be called cute anymore, but…what bar was that you're going to?

        1. chascates

          One of my main obsessions is pulling all of the hairs out of my ears. Nose hairs grow faster, but plucking out an ear hair that's been there a few days is a real accomplishment. You can barely see the small amount the stuck out. Tweezerman tweezers are the shit!

          But I'm not weird enough to save them or anything.

    4. PsycWench

      Ah, the late 80's I spent in grad school (when I wasn't doing something close to what you describe). I thought I had NO SPARE TIME. Now I'm married with a teaching gig and two kids. I look back on that no spare time thing and laugh hysterically.

    5. crybabyboehner

      Those were the days. I had just gotten divorced and was dating a stripper with a heart of gold and a rack to match. She later became an advertising exec.

      1. Negropolis

        You wouldn't happen to be the one helping her through college, would you? Every exotic dancer (don't call 'em strippers; they hate that) is an aspiring college student, it seems.

    6. Chet Kincaid

      Oh Lizzie, thank God you didn't end up as a floozy character loaned back and forth in Jay McInerny and Bret Easton Ellis novels before starting a successful second career as a political home-wrecker! Although you should write your own sex scenes for any Artist's Muse gigs. (And congratulations on +100 AND 100p at the same time!)

      I believe I may have spent that year of the '80s almost-not-quite turning a Sapphic friend Bi with a few very passionate kisses, but it was not to be.

      1. Limeylizzie

        Hey Baby-I am going to be in Chicago for a few months , on and off, as MrLimeylizzie just booked a gig designing a splashy new TV show! Homeward bound.

      1. Beowoof

        Never, at least I try to make sure I pay plenty of attention to it, I find you get more return engagements that way.

  12. Sparky_McGruff

    It looks like I've screwed up another bracket. I had the Giant Japanese Robots battling the Zombie Hosni Mubarak for the championship game. I didn't see the tsunami, nuclear meltdown, or Libya even making it to the sweet sixteen round!

  13. Barbara_i

    Michael Moore is calling for Barry's Nobel Peace Prize to be recalled. Would he have to return the check too? Looks like someone is going to have to break open Rahm's old swear jar for the money.

    1. Rotundo_

      Ah hell, Barry just won since it was a referendum on the miracle that we weren't stupid enough as a country to elect Walnuts! and Babble Spass to elected office. They will likely never award another to a leader on speculation again, since he hasn't actually done much besides enact the republican comeback to Hillarycare over the wailing and gnashing of teeth of the republicans and many sortademocrats. They are probably a little pissed he didn't close Gitmo or turn W and Cheney over to the Hague either.

      1. Barbara_i

        Did you see what Palin said in India? She says that they didn't win because she wasn't at the top of the ticket. If "ego" were a perfume, she'd reek of it.

        1. fuflans

          this was my favorite part of the coverage:

          Soon after arriving in New Delhi, the Palins were taken to a luxury mall called Emporio, which generally sells costly international brands.

    2. WriteyWriterton

      I swear, our leaders get the sweaty shakes when they have to go six months without bombifying a new brown demographic.

    3. donner_froh

      The No Balls Appease Prize lost a lot of its luster when it was jointly awarded to Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho in 1973. To his credit Le Duc Tho declined the prize since he was still busy fighting a war. Kissinger took the time to wash the blood from his hands of thousands of Americans and Vietnamese before accepting the check.

    1. karen

      I say we go for a foe that actually poses a challenge. I mean really, no fucking shit we can bomb desert people into oblivion. Let's try China! They have some sort of armed forces that can rival ours right?

      Bombing Libya is like playing Age of Empires online, you're still trying to chop down wood in the Stone Age while some asshole has gold farmed straight to the goddamn Iron Age and they're marching on your huts with heavy horsemen.

        1. Rotundo_

          And they produce much of the unobtainium that our weapons systems rely on, and knowing the great wisdom of the modern free market economy in Amurka, they'll just be building our next generation explodey stuff for us anyways. You don't mess with those what owns ya.

    2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Well, Japan is already a nuclear heap, and Germany produces beer and porn, so we really have only so many choices. Give Obama credit for a) attacking someone that actually deserves it, and 2) picking on a country the produced no beer or porn.

  14. Jim89048

    Since I was drunk through most of the 1980's (and who could blame me) I won't call this a flashback, but rather a re-run.

    1. CookiE_MonstA

      Um, the pirates are off the Somali coast these days. I don't think Libya has captured any of our ships recently…

  15. vanishing13

    where is the UN resolution for a no-fly zone to protect Pakistani civilians from Americans?

    1. DownFist Troll

      It's right next the resolutions condemning the wall in Israel and the Chinese occupation of Tibet.

  16. 4TheTurnstiles

    Does it make a difference that, this time, the Libyan opposition really did ask for American military assistance for once? Ghaddafi isn't Allende, and Obama isn't Nixon. There's some comfort. Meanwhile, here's beer.

    1. vulpes82

      It's yet another shit sandwich situation presented to Obama that doesn't really have a good answer, and either way screws us somehow.

    2. Negropolis

      Bingo. As much as I don't want to be in this, this is the type of shit we should be in if we ever find ourself in anything.

      Reflexively, though, yeah, this is an easy thing to oppose.

    3. Swampgas_Man

      They BEGGED for us to come help Somalia, I recall. Right up to the point where we actually tried to fix the country.

  17. rocktonsam

    Its time we thank our new War Dept, Fox News and all the work they have done to make this new war possible and how it will help the economy and thanks Cavuto, O'Really and Sha-yawn for sending their kids and grandkids to win this war finally. Thanks to Bleck for staying out of this also because that green sweater you wore the other day made you look like the fucking retard that you are and a pussy also. Fuck you Fox News and die a painful deATH. Oh and thanks to all those dumb blonds,except that black c
    hick who keeps on showing more and more cleavage who read the news and have no idea what they're reading because they would suck any dick for a paycheck.

    But mostly thanks Barry for ending all the hope we believed could have been.

    We are more fucked than ever.

    Its still is Cheney and Rummy's fault but the world will never remember that.

    I'm drunk good night.

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      I hear ya, at least the alcohol numbs the pain,,,step (stumble?) outside for a few minutes and stare at the beautiful full moon, it's a wonderful sight and gives one a different perspective, for a few moments anyway

  18. MistaEko

    Thank goodness we are preserving the right of Syrian Saudi Arabian Bahrainian Iranian Yemeni Jordanian Cote d'Ivorian Zimbabwean Sudanese Libyan civilians to protest without having their government slaughter them.
    I look forward to seeing everybody come back when all Libyan anti-air targets are destroyed the Libyan Air Force stops flying the rebels gain a foothold Gaddafi's army is broken the Rebels are on the doorstep of Tripoli Gaddafi surrenders Regime Change a new constitution is drafted there's democracy in name only there's kinda democracy we're confident no oil refineries are going to be blown up there's the bestest democracy ever a Libyan nuclear plant emergency forces us to evacuate our bases.

  19. undeterredbyreality

    What? A coalition of white Euros and a few Arab Emirates attacking Tripoli?

    The Siege of Tripoli lasted from 1102 until July 12, 1109. It took place in the aftermath of the First Crusade and led to the establishment of the fourth crusader state, the County of Tripoli.
    In 1109, the Franks gathered in force outside Tripoli, led by Baldwin I of Jerusalem, Baldwin II of Edessa, Tancred, regent of Antioch, William-Jordan, and Raymond IV's eldest son Bertrand of Toulouse, who had recently arrived with fresh Genoan, Pisan and Provençal troops. Tripoli waited in vain for reinforcements from Egypt.
    The city fell on July 12, and was sacked by the crusaders. One hundred thousand volumes of the Dar-em-Ilm library were deemed "impious" and burned.

    Same bullshit, different millenia.

    (Apologies for using the evil Wikipedia for that, by the way. If it's completely wrong, don't blame me.)

    By the way: weren't the 80's the Coke years? I can't remember.

      1. undeterredbyreality

        See? See? That damned Wikipedia.

        *turns bright red from embarrassment*

        So: Tripoli is like Springfield?

  20. Barbara_i

    Was this some sort of crazy Groupon deal that couldn't be turned down? Participate in two wars and get one free? Are we getting crazy bread with this?

  21. Terry

    The French are supposedly running this? When is the last time the French clearly won something they led? Not in their f'ed up former colonies. You have to go back to Napoleon, I think…

      1. Crank_Tango

        I was studying in Paris in 1993 and saw "la Victoire" on a calendar indicating November 11, and I about shit myself.

    1. user-of-owls

      Not in their f'ed up former colonies.

      Ok, so maybe Rwanda is a little sketchy, but what about…um…Guinea-Bissau, or Côte d'Ivoire, or Burkina Faso, or Niger, or…aw, fuck it.

      At least they weren't the Belgians.

      1. Negropolis

        Don't forget Algeria. That was their Vietnam, with secret police shit and everything! Actually, Vietnam was kind of their thing, too, until they dropped it like it was hot.

      2. Humphing

        Israel-Palestine, Iraq, Zimbabwe, Afghanistan… all involved the British, not the French. At the same time the USA was colonising what remained of Indian lands and, of course, solving future difficulties by getting rid of most of the Indians.

        'When's the last time the last time the French clearly won something they led?' Against a first world power, I suppose you mean. WW1, if they or anyone can be said to have led that. Before that the Second Italian War of Independence and the Crimean War. There haven't been that many wars between major powers, thank goodness. When was the last time the Americans clearly won something they led? WW2, if they or anyone can be said to have led that.

        Even apart from wars against other major powers, there've been few victories in the last half century for any first world country. Do you really want the military to be the basis of national pride. It's sad that the comments on a supposedly liberal US site could fit in quite happily amongst those of Palin supporters.

  22. TsunamiAli

    Yes, Ken, yes we have to relive the stupid 80's forever, because the reliving the 70's took 10 more years than was necessary, and that's when we went to war in Iraq to make like Vietnam and those are days we were just so nostalgic for. So until we can wring every nuanced comparison to the 1980s our stunted culture can manage we will move onto the 90s but by then we will all be irradiated and fighting in the Thunderdome for our oil rations, the end.

  23. ManchuCandidate

    A long, long time ago…
    I can still remember
    How that Raygun was alive and senile.
    And I knew if I had my chance
    That I could bomb Khadaffi with France
    And, maybe, the war pigs'd be happy for a while.

    But Sarah Palin will be dumber
    Unlike the papers I’d read over.
    Bad news on the doorstep;
    I couldn’t take one more step.

    I can’t remember if I cried
    When I read about Khadaffi's stupid pride,
    But something touched me deep inside
    The day I let the missiles fly.

    So bye-bye, crazy Libyan guy.
    Aimed the missiles at the levee,
    But the levee was dry.
    And them good old boys were drinkin’ whiskey and rye
    Singin’, "I'll still vote for the white guy.
    "I'll still vote for the white guy.

    1. yyyaz

      By attempting the ridiculous, you have achieved the impossible, MC: creating a version of AP that does not make me swear out loud. Well done.

  24. Doktor Avalanche

    Great, '86 was my acid summer, now I'm literally drunk and having flashbacks. Couldn't take a day off, Ken?

  25. metamarcisf

    Don't gloat too much, assholes. As I write this worthless post, Libya trails Temple 44-41 in the second half. Not only that, Sarah Palin is about to convert to Judaism , just as soon as her advisors can figure out what faith it is that she's switching from.

  26. mrblifil

    Meh, wake me when we start pointing our cruise missiles at the House of Saud. Because those motherfuckers are basically at the heart of everything that's bad about everything.

    I mean there's going to be collateral damage, yes. But since events had reached the point where fucking military jets were falling into residential neighborhoods and people were being rounded up with god knows what in store for them, I suppose doing something was probably not much worse than doing nothing. And by something I mean the unilateral decision to murder another "head of state."

    Of course all this will mean that Obama was "weak," for helping protestors instead of nuking Iran's weapons facilities. Or something…

    1. El Pinche

      NOBAMARS can't win in any case…even if he makes out with King Abdul Aziz like Dubya did.

    2. sati_demise

      heard a rumor that the jet may have been shot down by friendly fire. The resistance brought down one of their own very scarce jets and trained pilot…..that would suck so bad, so bad

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Yeah, but back in 86, priest didn't molest kids….

      Or, at least no one talked about it.

  27. Jim89048

    Is this like the Marine Hymn in reverse? From the shores of Tripoli to the Halls of Montezuma? Because I hear it's nice in Mexico this time of year, Libya maybe not so much. So bomby!

    1. user-of-owls

      I hear it's nice in Mexico this time of year, Libya maybe not so much. So bomby!

      It kind of depends, since Mexico is rather like Southern California in the sense that the climate is little changed throughout the year. One big difference is that the Mexican climate of late has been, "mostly shooty with scattered beheadings."

  28. KenLayIsAlive

    Well, look on the bright side. This should clear up the deficit, make social security solvent, fix the economy, get us out of Afghanistan, close Guantanamo, make health care affordable, and reverse our reliance on fossil fuels.

    Wait, what?

  29. LocalGirlMakesGoo

    In an effort to bring me to Jesus, my evangelical auntie has added my email address to what appears to be every single conservative wingnut teatard mailing list in existence. Consequently, my inbox has suffered a steady deluge of "Baby Joseph" stories today. Reading something about Libya is actually pretty refreshing.

    1. El Pinche

      That happened to me once. I , in turn, subscribed all the emails to Granny Fisters . com.

    2. Dashboard_Jesus

      well seeing your new Jesus/ Lamb of Gawd avatar makes me think auntie may have accomplished her mission? (the little lambs always get the kids, cuz they're so darn cute! :)

      1. LocalGirlMakesGoo

        If you look closely, you'll see it's actually a baby velociraptor. Jesus rode them, from what I've heard.

        1. Dashboard_Jesus

          hah, even with my 'old man' glasses I didn't see that…the little critter's just as cute as a lamb anyway, and probably much more effective- and appropriate- against those evildoer Pharisees!

    3. mayor_quimby

      Man, I wish I had more wingtard relatives, just to be a fly on the wall. so when I hear about some crazy shit on Glennda's show I already heard it a month ago while it was still underground.

      1. LocalGirlMakesGoo

        At first it was entertaining, and I really looked forward to family get-togethers (well, from an anthropological perspective, anyway), but auntie has recently decided that Glenn Beck is too liberal, and she says shit like "Jesus, warsh this sinner with your blood", like, at the dinner table.

    4. BaldarTFlagass

      Perhaps, in order to show your appreciation, you should email her a link or two from this site every day.

  30. magnetite

    I'm conflicted. I know this is going to be a terrifying clusterfuck with huge loss of innocent life but, and I'm speaking solely as a Brit here…

    The last time one of our Dicks went on a Crusade we got Robin Hood taxes and the Magna fucking Carta.

    1. Negropolis

      I know this is going to be a terrifying clusterfuck with huge loss of innocent life.

      Like MoFo GoDaddy's offensive against his people, right? Honestly, this was already a foregone conclusion either way.

      1. magnetite

        You're right of course. Well, seeing as we're there anyway we'll stop whining, souk it up and go shopping…

        We went to Libya and all we got was this lousy T-shirt haunted by images of limbless children.

        1. Negropolis

          :(

          You just gave me a sad.

          My hope is that MoDaffy will fall into a convenient, dictator-type coma a la Ben Ali and Hosni, and be whisked away to an undisclosed location never to be heard from, again. I fear he wants us to kill him, though.

          So, which country is next? Yemen, probably. Then Bahrain where we'll just make the royals make reforms. We'll probably be back to the Mahgreb before the year is out to deal whatever eventually goes down in Algeria. All the while the Saudis will be able to buy off their people for a few more decades, and Syria will use their effective secret police to head-off any and everything.

          1. magnetite

            I gave myself a sad too, looking back over it. I've yet to find the exquisite balance you Wonkets have found between keenly articulating the anguished howl within and snarkily eviscerating those that put it there. As my old granddad used to say to me* "Boy, how are you going to know if you're still second-rate if you never put yourself up against the best?"

            Your predictions saw my 'sad' and raised me a 'harrowing'. I asked for it.

            *Not the most encouraging of chaps, my old granddad.

          2. Jim89048

            Reminds me of growing up in a largish family. Imagine USAmerica is the Mom, here, and the Arab states the children. All five of us were accused of committing the same infraction. Younger sister (Saudi Arabia, in this case) got a raise in allowance, older sister (Bahrain) got a stern letter of warning and a cookie, older brother (Egypt) got faint damning praise for being so good for so long, but now it's time to get a job and leave the nest, oldest brother (Yemen, maybe?) got sent to his room, and I (Libya, obvs) got a pants-down spanking in front of the other kids, financial assets frozen (stripped of allowance) and weaponry destroyed(fascist-killing guitar taken away and given to Goodwill) and exiled to Nevada (Nevada).
            Mothers everywhere always say they love us all equally, but it's bullshit, and they/we know it.
            I got even, though. Now I have two guitars…

      1. magnetite

        Pshaw. This isn't like a hundred years ago at all. Now if you'll excuse me I have to take the wife to buy a hobble skirt and go see one of those new talking pictures.

  31. Blendergoathead

    I swear to whatever-whatever, I'm suing NPR for a refund of all the money I've given them during the never-ending pledge drives. Today, they cancel Wait, Wait AND This American Life to blow a bunch of smoke about us bombing the shit out of another arab country, but cut back into "normal" programming to go into a multi-hour discussion about the different pronounciations of words like "donut" in different dialects of Hebrew?

    Are you fucking kidding me?

    1. mayor_quimby

      Dude, that's what makes NPR great, they go from logical to pseudo-intellectual to ridiculous snore inducing obscurity in one 30 min segment. And at the end of the hour, they throw in some African folk-singing, or digerridoo, or preserved recordings of Negro spirituals. At that point I refill my vodka conveyance and go back to sleep.

      1. WriteyWriterton

        "…vodka conveyance…" Nice. I think of glassware as an "alcohol-delivery system." And I don't even work for the Pentagon.

  32. user-of-owls

    So I flip through Fox a few minutes ago and in one swoop their "analyst" both decries Obama for waiting too long and rails at him for not thinking the whole thing through.

    Even I was impressed, and that's coming from one whose head rotates 180 degrees.

  33. Bluestatelibel

    Did anyone really for one moment think that the United States was going to let FRANCE upstage us on this whole thing? Once I heard of the French strike, I knew of course we'd be opening our third "front" in the Middle East.

  34. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Everybody, stop your complaining. Can you really complaint about a Saturday where you can smoke some chronic and watch a country get blow up on ten channels? This is what it means to be alive in the greatest country in the world!

    1. Sassomatic

      Is it wrong that I'm enjoying this whole Libya thing? Last night I got to sound smart for knowing what a "mig" is. Tom Cruise is a having a rip-roaring good time.

  35. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Once again, we are faced with a Democratic President having to clean up the mess of a Republican. Finally, at least, someone is getting rid of Reagan's mess. I'm just looking forward to when Obama takes out the Soviet Union once and for all.

    1. user-of-owls

      Lincoln was a Republican, right? High time we took care of this "American South" problem.

  36. WriteyWriterton

    100 channels, and all I can get is War and Not-Ready-for-NBA-Basketball? Cancelling Comcast, STAT!

    Now what do I do? I've finished scouring Our Great Country for additional theatres that might consider/reject my new play. Do I have to read a book? I don't even know how anymore. I don't own a Kindle!

  37. Plowmon

    Don't worry, with the French running things we'll not be blindsided by the unknown or set off a shit-storm of ancient paybacks…

  38. PublicLuxury

    If it is 1986 I'm just starting teh college… again. I can change my major. I am going to get in good on the housing bubble and get out before it bursts again.

    1. HistoriCat

      Hey me too! Sweet – I'm going to go in a completely new direction this time around. Although maybe I should pick a different school as well …

    1. Radio 仕事のための安全ではない

      …and the bartender says, "is this some kind of a joke?"

    2. Zvi_Bleindmeis

      Sarkozi says to the bartender, "Un vin ordinaire."
      Berlusconi says to the bartender, "Uno Campari."
      And Gaddafi says to the bartender, "الله أكبر" and shoots the bartender for violating Sharia.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          Maybe Nora Dunn can cover George Clooney, Spike Jonez, Mark Wahlberg, and Ice Cube stealing the gold.

    1. Jim89048

      The part I love is that they find it necessary to say these are unmanned missiles. Really?

      1. user-of-owls

        You're not seriously implying that one could go awry by overestimating current US levels of Gross National Stupidity?

  39. 4tehlulz_lite

    1. Barry's not doing anything about Libya. he's so weak.
    2. Barry does something about Libya.
    3. OMG BARRY'S JUST TRYING TO PROVE HE'S NOT WEAK FUCK HIM

  40. El Pinche

    All this reminds me of the Bill Hick's famous bit:

    We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane, throwing the pistol at the sheep herder's feet: "Pick it up."

    "I don't wanna pick it up mister, you'll shoot me."

    "Pick up the gun."
    ….
    Boom, boom.

    "You all saw him. He had a gun."

  41. gef05

    I understand the snarks and the frustration and the disillusionment.

    But do not forget that evil can exist that was not Made In The USA.

    And breathe…

    1. Rotundo_

      But it's the only thing we manufacture in bulk anymore, it's kind of a matter of pride. France makes wine, Germany beer, Italy makes buffalo mozzarella, we make evil. Please, oh please, do not take that away from us!

    2. Crank_Tango

      hmm, the belgians are pretty damn good at making beer too, shit I don't even remember any german beers anymore besides becks

    3. Dudleydidwrong

      Sure. Buy that. But why in hell do we have to add to the misery. Christ, we can't wrap up the absolutely shitty job we've done in Iraq, let alone the disaster we're in up to our chins in Afghanistan, before we start bombing another Arab-speaking people. We're playing a game of Space Invaders only with Arab nations and Arab lives. Do the point values go up as we get closer to Saudi Arabia?

    4. KenLayIsAlive

      That argument would be a lot more convincing if we weren't always finding "the evil" in far off nations we know little-to-nothing about, while the evil here at home goes ignored – hell, it goes praised and paraded around.

      I mean, we befriended Gadhaffi in 2003 for his oil, the Brits sold him tons of weapons, now he is suddenly crazy and bad again (he was all along, of course)… just way too much hypocrisy here. Way way way too much.

      Added snark: Asking the USA to help you prevent civilian deaths is like hiring Ike Turner to run a battered women's shelter.

      1. Negropolis

        It's hypocrisy, for sure, but I just don't know if it's as much as some want to believe it is. Gadhaffi actually had to start a war against his people, and publically call for the extermination of the opposition before we blinked. That is pretty extreme.

        In other words, if Gadhaffi went even beyond our ridiculously high threshold of violence by our befriended "reformed" dictators, he's really bad dude. I don't think anyone can legitimately argue, anymore, that Gadhaffi doesn't deserve this international reaction.

        More to the point, just because there are other bad dudes in the world doesn't preclude us from punishing one. The whole "we either do everyone or no one" is a hell of a convenient argument, don't you think?

        You know, G-Daddy would still be in power, and we'd have just put sanctions on him if he'd simply let the eastern half of the country go. But, no, he went over the top full bat-shit crazy insane dicatator on their asses. Believe it or not, force is actually sometimes appropriate.

        Hypocrisy doesn't preclude punishment of truly murderous leaders, particularly when their subjects in a formal way request help in not being murdered. This ain't operation Iraqi Freedom, if you know what I mean.

        1. WriteyWriterton

          It does seem, however, that we have vastly different standards for dictator-murderers elsewhere than sub-Saharan Africa, which is also resource-rich and ex-colonial-nightmarish to the Nth degree. I'm not sure what to make of this, but I have my suspicions. And they correlate with, uh, race: the darker the victims, the less we intervene? Or maybe it's just the damned oil. What do I know?

          1. Negropolis

            It's money.

            I've come to accept that in the real world, we become involved when our interests meet or values at a particular point in time. That leaves a lot of truly horrible people in place, but it also means that a lot of horrible people get taken out.

            We can't police the entire world, but we can police especially egregious cases, and particularly when our interests and value meet. America will not be paralyzed because it's hypocritical nation (like every other nation on earth), and because it can't do everything at once. We should have done Rwanda; it was one of Clinton's greatest regrets. But, we can start to atone for situations like Rwanda by doing things rights for a change.

        2. KenLayIsAlive

          I hear you. And you're right. My problem with all of this is that – remember all those babies Iraqi soldeirs were supposed to have killed in Kuwait that turned out to be propaganda? The WMD?

          I'm saying things are a little foggy in these countries, and we get this trickle down info from CNN and FOX and get our blood pressure up, then later we discover, well, oh, that was a mistranslation or this wasn't entirely true, this and that.

          I'm all fine with blowing up his tanks and this airplanes and leaving the country cleaved into two – but I just doubt it ends there. And he wouldn't be at this level of power and success in this battle if he really was as isolated as we are lead to believe. If our goal is to drive him from power, then we have to end up killing his supporters – which are likely men and women and their kids whose politics maybe have more to do with the fact that they grew up in Tripoli as opposed to Benghazi than anything else.

          1. Negropolis

            Don't get me wrong. I don't see myself as much of an interventionist, and I am skpetical of using force which is why even as late as last week I was calling on Europe to do this whole thing. That all changed when Qadhaffi had the nerve to threaten before the world during these demonstrations sweeping the Middle East and North Africa to hunt down rebels and kill them in their closests. Sorry, that was the last straw.

            I can't possibly see what we could be mistranslating, here. Libya called upon us to stop an imminent massacre in Benghazi that was days from happening. This is about as clear as it gets, for me.

          2. KenLayIsAlive

            I mean, I don't know what he said. I know what it is reported he said. I would also note that he said people who put down their weapons would be spared. But I can't argue what ifs.

            You may be right. We'll see how it turns out I guess. It's not like we have an actual say anyway.

          3. Neilist_Returns

            "I'm all fine with blowing up his tanks . . . "

            Tell me that after you have pulled what is left of an 18- or 19-year old kid out of the burned out hull of an AFV (Armored Fighting Vehicle, or "tank" to you clowns) that has been hit with Depleted Uranium rounds from a A-10.

            When what is left of his head comes off in your hands, you can congratulate yourself with how Tough And Morally Correct you are, typing away at your keyboard.

            (You Liberals really are revolting. Too bad Gaffy doesn't invade your parents' basement and exterminate you.)

            Neilist

            "You despise, don't you, Rick?

            If I gave you any thought, Ugate, I probably would."

        1. KenLayIsAlive

          You're right. There are evil people outside of the US. And so we should go in, covered in blood from our last two mistaken escapades, and make things right (as we see it). For justice.

          This smells like a "the professional left needs to be drug tested" argument you are making here.

    1. mayor_quimby

      They are at whatever contractor makes cruise missiles. Those things are 1 million bucks a pop, back when we invaded Iraq the second time we used like 1,000 of them and we were low on supply. Guess we were topped back up and had to burn off excess missiles.

  42. PsycWench

    I don't care what decade we're reliving, I am not trying cocaine again and I am NOT wearing those shoulder pads and you can't make me.

      1. Blendergoathead

        … and I'll watch Writey watch your cocaine, because redundant levels of trust are definitely called for in this critical situation.

        And if you happen to have some of those old hippie incandescent lightbulbs around, I'll watch those, too.

    1. 102415

      Oh sure, but are you going to wear the wedgies and Frankenstein shoes I just saw out for a hobble this fine morning. I just bought an old black Chanel jacket and I can actually smell the coke.No way I'm sending it to the cleaners just yet.

    1. Barbara_i

      The t-shirt says: I may be broke
      But I'm not flat busted

      Yeah, I want my grandchildren having to learn about this woman in their history books.

      1. natl indecency cmdr

        what's the phrase we're using lately? argle gaargle floom? yeah, that.

        i dream of a day, years from now, when no one will know her name. who remembers john garner? and he was actually vice president! who remembers tony knowles? c'mon america. you can do it.

      2. WriteyWriterton

        She actually looks kind of sweet in that picture. Innocent and good-hearted. Amazing how she's become a despicable purveyor of know-nothing resentment politics. It does make me wonder what happened.

          1. user-of-owls

            She couldn't pass the Art School entrance exam and no one would buy her crappy paintings on the streets of Vienna.

    2. Negropolis

      That picture is just awesome. It totally explains everything you need to know about her worldview and thought process. "At least I'm not (fill in the blank)," indeed.

  43. philpjfry

    Please, any decade but the eighties. Crappy music, crappy clothes, crappy hair and crappy wars. We could have picked a better decade.

        1. Barbara_i

          Elvis Costello is the BEST! The man is a musical genius. Who else could come up with the lyrics: "rabid rebel dogs ransacked the shampoo shops?"

  44. Negropolis

    As usual, we're going to have to finish the job (read: kill MoFo k'Daffy)

    Hey, at least the French and the British have their face plastered all over the front of this, this time. Bush would have just warned us a day or two before going in alone, and sending in 50,000 ground troops and just generally botching shit until we lost.

    BTW, for all those asking why we aren't in Bahrain, Yemen, etc…(yet), well, believe it or not, MoDaffy went beyond even our high threshold for bullshit violence. While the others can claim some type of defense of the government in their massacres (not any that I buy, to make clear), MoDaddy was stupid enough to publically threaten to go after and hunt down civilians on the other fucking side of the country and kill them in their closets. If you're going to do that (and, I don't imagine that Yemen and Bahrain aren't already doing that), have the sense not to air it while the world is watching, m'kay? Just do it.

    This proves k'Daffy's morally weak.

  45. user-of-owls

    Hush! If Ken hears you talking about him like that, you'll be sleeping with the loaves and fishes!

    1. yyyaz

      Fuck that stupid, worthless, cock-sucking mannequin with Putin's ugly head. Even worse than her 110% delusional hubby.

  46. El Pinche

    Reagan/Libya, Challenger Explodes, Chernobyl, Mr. Mister , Glass Tiger, Mannequin, Who's the Boss? …

    1986, the taint of the 20th century.

    1. Barbara_i

      Even better would be a white-cotton-pantie tickle fight between the first ladies of each nation in the war.

    2. MiniMencken

      I, for one, welcome this treaty of peace between the Englishers and the Gouda-cheese-smoking surrender monkeys cowering in the Soestdijk Palace, plotting their remorseless scheme of world domination involving tulip bulbs, chocolate cordials, wooden shoes and thin, bitter beer. This aggression will not stand! The tentacles of the Dutch octopus will not extend to Nieuw Amsterdam! Remember the Edam Five!

  47. donner_froh

    Obama is trying to bomb himself white. Won't work–he could deliver high tech explosive death to half the brown people in the world and still enrage both the trailer trash and country club set by being so much darker than they are.

  48. ApplesauceRobot

    The Brits pronounce "missile" so much cooler than us. This war will be brought to me by the BBC.

    1. user-of-owls

      Perhaps, but do not let them anywhere near 'Nick-uh-RAG-you-uh.' That should be against the Geneva Convention.

        1. Negropolis

          Can we please take away their aluminium, also? They think that they are all fancy because they pronounce the whole thing, huh?

    2. Rotundo_

      Yeah, but Faux will use clips from Gerry Andersen (Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet) for the action, so if you don't have access to the Beeb you can still get the britastic special effects. The sad part is, the Faux viewers won't even notice the wires on the marionettes.

  49. dahboner

    We can all agree on one thing: The 80′s sucked.

    And the 90′s made the 60′s look like the 50′s…

  50. sati_demise

    yea, well there is another oil leak in the Gulf-an oil slick 100 miles by 10 miles in area.
    Wyclef Jean just got shot in Haiti.
    Fuck this super moon or whatever is causing all this shit to come down this week end..

    1. mayor_quimby

      Every time I go to sleep, some fucked up shit happens, thusly, the insomnia.
      I thought you were joking about Wyclef until I did a google new search.
      Well at least our rappers are getting shot in other countries now.

  51. el_donaldo

    The moon was cool coming over the horizon tonight, but these days omens don't seem to trend positive. Well, excepting Madison.

  52. RawhideRawlins

    You had to bring up 1986. You can't believe all the bad shit that happened to me in 86. And now you're saying; " here we go again"? Fucking great.

    1. Rotundo_

      For a moment I thought you had transposed letters in the center and I had a momentary joyburst. Then the connection completed and I has a sad. RIP Knut.

    2. Negropolis

      I'm sure the Jews did it, or the terrorists, or…help me, here, my brain is running out of convenient conspiratorial scapegoats.

  53. fartknocker

    So the French lead the charge? Fine, let them put the Foreign Legion kick ass Dolph Rundgren motherfuckers on the ground. We as America have been fucking with Afghanistan for 10 fucking years. I am ready to implement Plan B.

    Checkmate Bin Laden. We got us a Hollywood actor and Billy Ray Cyrus.

    What the fuck are we thinking? Can't we just get back to caring for ourselves?

    Old South Austin Dude out. PS: SXSW was cool but were happy its over. We love ya, but you all need to go home.

    PPS: I am so fucking tired of war. End it please.

    1. sati_demise

      Cant the troops build hydrogen plants or solar -wind-biomass-geothermal plants as a matter of national security? It would give the industrial / congressional complex just as much government welfare.
      I AM SERIOUS

  54. Janinthepan

    Has anyone else come home after a fun night of karaoke only to read this? Just me?? Uh…

    1. 102415

      No, I was busy thinking I will kill that slimy neighbor fucking my husband. The bitch still lives around the corner.Also, I will buy my apartment for $25,000. If I can lose the thirty pounds by next week I'm good with it all but the ugly shoes.

      1. WriteyWriterton

        Helpful hint: communicate murder plans on humor sites. No one will take you seriously.

  55. Steverino247

    Here's the coalition war plan:

    1) American cruise missiles crush air defenses.
    2) The French plant trees along the roads in Libya.
    3) The German Army marches to Tripoli in the shade.
    4) Italians hang Gaddafi and his girlfriend upside down.

    WIN!

  56. Extempor肛門

    With this, there are now precisely as many comments in this depressing 80s retread of a thread as there were American service members killed in the 1983 Beirut barracks bombing: 241.

    If Ken Layne were half the principled and patriotic leader that was President Ronald Reagan, now would be the time that he abandoned this problematic post, and then pretended that it never happened.

    And if Ken Layne were half the contemplative and cautious leader that is President Barack Obama, now would be the time that he denied there would be a problematic post, and then pretended that friending President Nicolas Sarkozy never happened.

  57. donner_froh

    1986

    AIDS
    Act Up/New York
    Silence = Death
    Keith Haring

    Fucking Reagan, the slimiest weasel with the smarmiest grin ever to be loosed upon humanity.

    1. smellyal8tr

      You know, I was thinking about this yesterday (for no good reason). Nearly ALL the problems we have today can be traced to Reagan (even more than Nixon). He was no sunny optimist. He turned the whole shebang over to the greedheads and just stood by (with Nancy) and watched. The S&L collapse, rampant AIDS infections, the end of organized labor, Dynasty, greed, money, money, money. It's all Reagan.

  58. MrFizzy

    Have to cut NPR out of the federal budget to pay for the air strikes. That should do the trick.

  59. BaldarTFlagass

    Re the 1980s meme, I really feel bad for all the folks that got screwed over back then, like the Nicaraguans, the Salvadorans, the union people, the poor people, the list goes on, but on a personal level I spent 3 years floating around the far east and Australia bangin' chicks, 5 years in college bangin' chicks, tooling around in my freshly restored 65 Impala SS 396 and being able to afford the gas, Oingo Boingo, Midnight Oil, Talking Heads jamming on that new-fangled CD player, it was all good. I'm really surprised I didn't end up as a Republican.

    1. WriteyWriterton

      I'll trade you your '80s for my '80s, and I'll throw in a brace of second-round draft-picks.

      (Okay, both our sons were born then, and they were miracles, then awful, and now tolerable again, so only one third-round pick.)

    2. 教授 Zoom

      I'm really surprised I didn't end up as a Republican.

      Well, there's that whole "bangin' chicks" issue…

        1. WriteyWriterton

          Not that there's anything wrong with banging guys, if you're a progressive, non-lying, non-hypocritical, non-"family-values" TeaOP-type.

  60. Steverino247

    When Downfisters Attack!

    Go back to bed, asshole! Or go to some stupid church and "get saved" for the millionth time.

  61. OC_xenon-133_Serf

    Fuck, I am glad it is just not me and Olly North that doesn't want to remember the 80's.

    1. Radio 仕事のための安全ではない

      OC, I'm sure the great American hero Olly North longs for those days.
      I hate that fuck and everything he grovels for.

  62. BaldarTFlagass

    From the best 70s movie ever made:

    "It's like the every other decade theory you know? The fifties were boring, the sixties rocked. The seventies, oh my God they obviously suck. Maybe the eighties will be radical you know. I figure we'll be in our twenties and hey, it can't get any worse."

  63. undeterredbyreality

    So: I've figured out the code behind the name: "Odyssey" for Gaddafi/quaddaffy/whatever because nobody can spell either word right the first time and it has three syllables, starts with the "ah" sound, ends with the "ee" sound. "Dawn" because it rhymes with "gone" and its antonym is "twilight" or "sunset" or, you know, the end of the day. So, clearly, it signals to all cryptologists out there that this is the operation that will mean the end of the regime.

    Unfortunately, if you're not in bizarro world, it means, explicitly, "the beginning of a very long journey" and its acronym is "OD," as in, we've just taken too much (war) drug. The Obama administration has problems with catchy name phrases these days, as in "Winning the Future" acronyms to "WTF

  64. 4TheTurnstiles

    OT, but not really: Mexico, you're next. Felipe Calderon has his panties in a twist because, surprise of surprises, American diplomats think he's an incompetent douche. Only incompetent people underestimate their own incompetence, that's the Dunning-Kruger effect. Anyway, Felipe is a pussy name for a wingnut neoliberal wanker head-of-state. I'd like to know what Obrador has planned for 2012…

    1. user-of-owls

      What AMLO has planned is an endless circuit of appearances at tinier and tinier towns until he eventually winds up alone with a mirror.

      The only way he's going to get any attention is by gay-marrying Cuauhtémoc in the DF and being blowed up during their luna de miel. It's Mexico, where "whom the gods would destroy they first make lose an election/insurgency, then relegate them to impotent obscurity." Something like that anyway.

    2. donner_froh

      It was (I think) just announced that the U.S. has been flying unmanned drones of Mexico since 2009 to "gather intelligence on organized crime".

      Since there is so little known about the cartels with them staying under the radar and operating secretly–other than taking over entire cities, slaughtering police forces, and having an entire genre of pop music–Narcocorrido–to publicize and praise them.

      1. Negropolis

        They also fly unmanned drones over Detroit, now, at the Canadian border. The folks up in Sarnia planned a massive town mooning of the things, last year I think it was. I wish Americans were that witty.

  65. Blendergoathead

    Yeah, the DOD seems to have subcontracted the naming of our various bombings out to the same hollywood-based flack (who probably also spends part of their time writing film reviews for HuffPo, unpaid, natch) whose been generating out the same lame two-word titles for every action flick in the past twenty years.

    Why can't we be creative, with at least one of the words? Personally, I'd be more supportive of a bombing campaign announced as, "Ferocious Pickle," or maybe, for product placement (extra income on the back end, yo), "Pepsi Absolution."

    Yep, drinking again before noon, PST. ftw.

    1. Jim89048

      Speaking of DoD, where the hell is Gates? Has he relinquished his testicles to Hillary? She already had her own pair, so that would be redundant.

      1. Steverino247

        Gates is busy running the show. He's a team player and doesn't need the TV time. We're trying to look like statesmen here, so the SECDEF has to stay under wraps.

        As for naming these operations, there are very tight rules about that. After all, nobody wants officers at their door to inform them their child died in Operation Tinkle Pickle.

      2. Negropolis

        I read an article, today, about how this unfolded. Apparently, Gates was completely opposed to any intervention as was Obama, and Hillary was only for it after Q'Daffi threatened to destroy Benghazi, basically. Susan Rice was pushing for a no-fly zone, I'm told.

  66. hooray4anything

    I'm not really for this but I'm not totally against it as long as what everybody in DC says the plan is stays the plan (ie, no American soldier's foot ever touches Libyan soil) but I'm go with the Obama and the Shit Sandwich idea here in that if Italy AND France go all in, you kind of having to go in too. Not just because you don't want to look like bigger pussies than the French or Italians but because somebody has to provide adult supervision lest they wind up surrendering to Chad or blowing up the Rock of Gilbratar by accident.

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      Don't agree. Why can't the US sit this one out and let the Italians, French, and whatever Arab states want to risk their US-trained pilots in their US-provided planes take care of something that is in their own back yards? We're more like the bully who has to stick his fists (oops!) into every street brawl. I'd hate to see the Rock of Gibraltar bombed (I mean, what would that insurance company use for a logo?) but it is time for us to get out of the business of blowing up Arab-speaking people.

      1. hooray4anything

        I see it like this– you're in a bar and your friends get into a bar brawl and because they're your friends you have to join in because your friends and you have to show that you "have their back." This is especially true if you've spent the past ten years getting violently drunk and starting fights left and right while forcing your friends to join in with you lest you beat them up too.

    2. Negropolis

      No, no grounds troops. That is absolutely where we should draw the line. I don't mind us supporting this no-fly zone, but we sure as hell better not set foot in that land unless it's Hillary going to shake hands with their new foreign minister.

  67. Pragmatist2

    April 1986 was a great month. Not only did Geraldo open the Al Capone vault (surely one of the great live disasters of all time) but this happened too:
    "2.2 lb (1kg) hailstones fall on the Gopalganj district of Bangladesh, killing 92. These are the heaviest hailstones ever recorded."

    Bangladehsi woudl be well advised to stay inside assuming they have a roof.

  68. proudgrampa

    OK. I got an idea. Instead of reliving the 80s forever, I say let's relive the 50s. Man, what great times! The only war was the Cold one, and we got to practice Duck and Cover, Air Raid Shelter Drills, and men wore hats!

    1. Sassomatic

      I'm absolutely on board with bringing back hats. Mainly because I'm tired of washing my hair,

  69. Schmegeg

    Operation "Odyssey Dawn" ?? Jesus they are not even trying to hide the fact this will take ten years to get done. Then they can party hard in Ithaca!

  70. Left_Leftie

    You can see the teleprompter reflecting in Ronnie's watery eyes!

    Oh and I guess it's OK to call them FRENCH Fries again huh?

  71. smellyal8tr

    Hoooo….dearie dear…All the Hopey-nauts, caught in the world of Realpolitick. I do love how Boehner has decreed that Barry's "got some 'splainin' to do" about getting us involved in yet another conflict with a crazy person — he was Mr Meek and Mild during W's nation building. Apparently, if the NYT is to be believed — and yes, I know that's a big IF — Mrs. Clinton is behind this engagement. Barry said, "OK, but no land invasion". Hahaha…

    1. DustBowlBlues

      I've heard the Clinton story before. She and Bill still bear the guilt of letting Rwandans machete each other to death (a guilt they should damn well feel, since that was one easy genocide to have stopped before it got started) and don't want to repeat the mistake by letting the crazy guy who, according to Sylvia Poljoli on the now renegade radio NPR say gave a speech in Italy and announced that democracy required chairs, kill his own people. (Berlesconi sp? evidently was totally on board with whatever the weird fuck was saying)

      I hope this one is more Kosovo than Iraq. It's their fucking country. If they elect a freakily Muslin whatever, it's really none of our business. At least this is trying to help people fighting for their freedom and their country and not us, invading and trying to convince them that they should fight for their country and that country has to be a constitutional republic like ours, until the religious right became the pawns of mofuckers like the Kock brothers and took it away from us.

      Next up: Who will liberate Americans?

  72. randcoolcatdaddy

    Which Ronald Reagan movie is that clip from? I don't remember seeing it pop up on TCM.

  73. Warpde

    News flash.
    Lybia April 1, 2036.
    Continuing with it's 25 year cycle President Hannity has ordered air strikes against Muammar Gaddafi . The 94 year old Gaddafi was quoted as saying "Bring it on bitches. See you in 2061."
    President Hannity and Vice President Coulter have not responded to this latest comment as they are currently greasing each other with suntan lotion in Rio.
    In other news Newt Gigrich is celebrating his 1st anniversary to his 13th wife according to his lover.

  74. BTWBFDIMHO

    Do we have to relive the stupid ’80s forever?
    Obama may be like Reagan, but Lady Gaga is way better than Madonna.

  75. glamourdammerung

    Barry, the GOP loves you now.

    So you do not have to keep copying every single one of their failed policies.

      1. glamourdammerung

        It has not happened. However, maybe if enough folks suggest it, he will believe it and get off this stupid "making friends with people that want to (literally in some cases) kill you" meme.

  76. PuckStopsHere

    Are we being greeted as liberators or what? (Or is that just the name of the planes with which we are bombing them?)

    1. Negropolis

      The people in the east were firing off fireworks when they heard we be on the way. In the west? Yeah, not so much. lol

  77. AnAmericanInTO

    Other things from April 1986 that we can look forward to:

    Clint Eastwood elected mayor of Carmel, CA.

    Arnold Schwarzenegger marries a Kennedy

    Sean Penn punches a guy who was talking to Madonna

    Sylvester Stallone refuses to go to the Cannes Film Festival over fears that he'll be a victim of terrorism after the (original old school) attacks on Libya.

  78. rocktonsam

    all 3 networks spell Moarmoar's last name different.
    is Mr. Layne's spelling correct?
    I don't want to sound stoopider when I send a card.

  79. imissopus

    Apparently Miss Lindsey was on one of the Sunday morning shows complaining because while the US is participating in this joyous bombing, we're not leading the charge. Somehow this is all evidence of Obama pussifying America because we used to relish being leaders and now we are taking a backseat. Apparently the possibility that other countries don't want us leading the charge because we tend to go off half-cocked and start wars of aggression that get their troops and citizens killed never entered his thinking. Probably too busy thinking about all the lovin' he'll get from WALNUTS! and Droopy Dog for going all neocon on Fox.

    1. user-of-owls

      Oh yes, those were the days, weren't they? When the Vegetable-In-Chief took the lead in conquering mighty Grenada! When we took the lead in restoring Bush Sr.'s questionable manhood by executing the bloodiest arrest warrant in history to capture global menace Manuel Noriega!

      And lest we forget, that icon of macho meathead America took the lead in running away from Lebanon! Ah, glorious times.

      1. Radio 仕事のための安全ではない

        Yeah, we didn't need anybody else when we kicked the ass of a sovereign country with a dictatorship, known WMD's, and a safe haven for Al Qaeda. Don't you remember the Pakistan War of 2002, tough guy owl?

      2. imissopus

        And Rambo was re-fighting the Vietnam War and winning this time. So what if it was on movie screens? Reagan couldn't tell the difference even before the Alzheimer's set in.

    2. Bluestatelibel

      Also, they don't want us to lead it, because (hate to say it) we tend to lose, right?

      1. sati_demise

        No, we just always pick the wrong guy to back. Every single time. One would think the law of averages would let us back one good guy. but no….nevar

        1. Radio 仕事のための安全ではない

          Yu Ngo Hu else had strong views about Colonization and exhibited remarkable patriotism towards his country?

  80. Sassomatic

    Now my recent affinity for stone-washed jeans is starting to make sense. This also means I get to dig out my Bon Jovi tapes and have fantasies about Nikki Sixx terribly inappropriate for a six-year-old.

  81. donner_froh

    One of the low points of the Reagan years–like a low point of a slog through Death Valley–was the bombing of the Beirut Marine barracks in 1983.

    One of the few things the too disgusting for words Gipper and his horror of a wife got right was during the quickly put together ceremony in a hanger at Dover AFB for the families of those slain in the bombing. They were in character as a grieving leader and his helpmate for the entire show.

    Recalling some of the images from that day one could almost think that Ronnie knew where he was and that Nancy gave a shit.

    Almost.

  82. Negropolis

    Totally, off topic, but does anyone know why my page slows down, particularly scrolling and composing posts, afere about ten minutes on a page?

    I'm running Firefox v. 3.5.16 and I think this may be a scripting error.

    1. Jim89048

      I'm running v.4.0 candidate, and it's doing that too. I was thinking it was my anti-norton or something.

  83. vulpes82

    Well, Obama's lost Andrew Sullivan with this, and John Marshall thinks it's a big mistake. Meanwhile, John Boehner says the President must answer to Congress about it (because he's a Democrat Socialist Kenyan; if he were a Republican, it'd be Yee-Haw!), and apparently the left has gone apeshit and a primary challenge is inevitable.

    *sigh* I just don't know anymore. I feel deep down, and through the evidence of my eyes, that Obama is the best we've got (which, depending on one's view, is a sad state of affairs) and am thoroughly demoralized by the fact that we (the non-insane) just can't seem to get a victory. And then I feel guilty for falling into the tribal party-politics that are ruining this nation like some braindead Tea Party Hoveround. *sigh* Will somebody hold me and tell me it'll all be all right? I think some of Ken's apocalyptic attitude has insinuated itself into my psyche tonight.

  84. DerrickWildcat

    BTW, Fox News is outraged that Obama didn't do the thing he done in the opposite way. Because that's what he should or shouldn't have done and it destroyed America,

  85. BarackMyWorld

    Who's the president in 1986?

    Ronald Reagan?! THE ACTOR?!?!?

    Ha! Then who's vice-president, Jerry Lewis? And Jack Benny is Secretary of the Treasury!

  86. 102415

    Speaking of down fisting, I'm now being followed by a troll carrying a heavy heavy load. It hasn't done a thing for my pee points. Well, except piss me off but who or what has time to follow 400+ people?Can I shake off or do I need to hire an exterminator?

  87. NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    Your comment must be approved by the site admins before it will appear publicly.

    "just a bit of controlled media censorship"

  88. mayor_quimby

    Actually I noticed that, I think he's letting it grow a little longer and tapering/fading it less.
    Who has the time for fucking intricate haircuts when you got new shit to bomb almost daily.
    Actually, maybe his barber just moved back to the CHI and he's shopping around U Street for a new guy. You think white women fret over new hairstylists, you should see us Black dudes.

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