March 17, 2011

Obama Making Some Statement About Japan Today, A Week Later

by Ken Layne 3:46 pm March 17, 2011

Remember when Barack Obama couldn’t go two hours without a press conference or a speech or an appearance somewhere? Now he just hides in his bunker doing NCAA brackets and sexting the Republicans in Congress, but he will supposedly pop his head of the hole and see his nuclear shadow any second now (he’s 15 minutes late already), and maybe he’ll say he’s “monitoring the situation” and that nobody should worry and just go shopping or whatever. Barack Obama, everybody!

Here’s the video feed; watch it if you care. It doesn’t appear to be working very well, either.

Great, just great. What else is happening in Washington today? The House Republicans voted to de-fund NPR, yayy, death to Terri Gross/Don’t Tread On Y’all.

159 comments 2676 Views

{ 159 comments }

nounverb911 March 17, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Is Obama still president?

Pragmatist2 March 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Is Japan still there?

nounverb911 March 17, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Hey Jack! Is Japan still there?

OneDollarJuana March 17, 2011 at 4:18 pm: Jack! Jack! Heeeeeyyyy, Jack!

Jim89048 March 17, 2011 at 4:57 pm

That's so 2008…

WIDTAP March 18, 2011 at 8:26 am: I'm so 3000 and 8. You're so 2000 and late.

HistoriCat March 17, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Just as some other guy named Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare's plays, some other guy named Barack Obama is now president.

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Bingo.

He's made himself largely irrelevant.

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Good old House Republicans, always ready with a pointless symbolic vote that won't make it through the Senate, let alone Obama's veto, indicative of pure spite.

jus_wonderin March 17, 2011 at 4:15 pm

But, but, but, it was an emergency!!

Cicada March 17, 2011 at 4:25 pm

"Pointless Symbolism" should be the motto for whoever wins the 2012 GOP Presidential nomination.

fuflans March 17, 2011 at 4:45 pm

i heard somebody on some soon to be disbanded NPR show say 'repubs had to do this b/c their base is angry about the o'keefe tapes'.

you just know some heroic leftie somewhere is going to eventually entrap him but really it couldn't happen soon enough.

natoslug March 17, 2011 at 6:20 pm: I'm still hoping he'll get mistaken for a leprechaun tonight and kidnapped. Then he'll be waterboarded until he shows his captors where the pot of gold is hidden.

Jim89048 March 17, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Jobs, also.

not that Dewey March 17, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Even Ron Fucking Paul raised a stink about this. Ron Fucking Paul.

trondant March 17, 2011 at 3:58 pm

If they cut Prairie Home Companion, the demand for Xanax will skyrocket.

FNMA March 17, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Ambien.

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Imodium.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 17, 2011 at 4:30 pm: Ketchup.

It has natural mellowing agents.

mourningnmerica March 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Pa dum-pum.

nounverb911 March 17, 2011 at 3:59 pm

In the meantime, Garrison Keillor announced his retirement yesterday.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 17, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Again?

Jerri March 17, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Aw, not until 2013! Way to get my hopes up.

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 4:15 pm

First Larry King, now Garrison Keillor; we're running low on old boring white guys. Will Andy Rooney be next (please)?

Jukesgrrl March 17, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Or maybe Liza Minnelli.

OneDollarJuana March 17, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Mitch McConnell is pretty boring.

Jerri March 17, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Andy Rooney will outlive us all. He's powered by giant eyebrows and confused annoyance at everyday things, both of which he has in spades.

Jim89048 March 17, 2011 at 4:59 pm: I thought those were caterpillars?
not that Dewey March 17, 2011 at 11:19 pm: He's like the Lewis Black of old people.

KenLayIsAlive March 17, 2011 at 4:47 pm

He'll end up as a FOX news contributor for sure.

Chet Kincaid March 18, 2011 at 3:22 pm: Garrison Keillor is as red as a commie baboon's ass. I mean, as blue as Bill Clinton's balls on a two-week getaway with Hillary. Wait, what decade is this? My point is, Keillor's a socialist.

SayItWithWookies March 17, 2011 at 4:02 pm

It'll be terrible for the ketchup market, that's for sure.

nounverb911 March 17, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Not to mention Lutefisk.

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Also the lame weekly Lutheran "joke"-writing market.

Lascauxcaveman March 17, 2011 at 4:40 pm: HATERZ. I do not understand all the hate for PHC.

I don't know if I even want to live in a world without Pastor Liz.

GunToting[Redacted] March 17, 2011 at 4:18 pm

I'm shorting Powdermilk Biscuit futures, stat!

capnhuggyface March 17, 2011 at 4:13 pm

the mellowing agents in ketchup

sezme March 17, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Changes coming at NPR: "This American Life" will from now on be known as "This Canadian Life".

Extempor肛門 March 17, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Or more likely, "This American Half-Life".

Boredw/Gravitas March 17, 2011 at 4:16 pm: "This American Hell"
WhatTheHeck March 17, 2011 at 5:41 pm: but, but.. once the radiation comes ashore even a 1/2 life will be a few hundred years

user-of-owls March 17, 2011 at 8:47 pm

Bob and Doug are this generation's Click and Clack.

jqheywood March 17, 2011 at 9:05 pm: Take off, hoser!

baconzgood March 17, 2011 at 3:59 pm

"That's an insightfull question Terri. What will Mo Roca do now?"

-Some guy Being Interviewed on Fresh Air-

CliveWarren March 17, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Move to the center! Quickly!!! To the center of the country, I mean, the "leftcoast" isn't safe anymore.

OkieDokieDog March 17, 2011 at 4:00 pm

NO Nukes!

And jmo, but I think Bradley Manning should be out of jail and that little pimpley assed James Dildo O'Keefe should be tossed in with a bowl of pond water, a box of saltines, and a rat.

MrsBiggTime March 17, 2011 at 4:09 pm

And one condom his cellmate Cletus can keep using over and over again. Wouldn't want James to pick up an STD now would we?

OkieDokieDog March 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm: Squeal like a pig, Jimmy!

Jim89048 March 17, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Rats everywhere protest inhumane treatment.

emmelemm March 17, 2011 at 5:05 pm

No Nukes! No Nukes!

Bloom County oldie but goodie

OkieDokieDog March 17, 2011 at 5:45 pm: I can't believe I'm still protesting the same shit!
not that Dewey March 17, 2011 at 11:22 pm: Thank you.

Come here a minute March 17, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Is Obama still stuck in that Japan quagmire? When will it end? Why hasn't he solved it yet?

MrsBiggTime March 17, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Looks like we have no choice now but to invade Iraq.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 17, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Let's invade Japan. We were much more successful with that last time.

bagofmice March 17, 2011 at 4:15 pm: Hell, they've pre-nuked themselves this time.

CrunchyKnee March 17, 2011 at 4:09 pm

We could always bail out their banks. We're good at that. USA USA USA!!!111!!!

el_donaldo March 17, 2011 at 4:25 pm

"Daddy, have they filled that smoking crater in Honshu yet?"

pdiddycornchips March 17, 2011 at 4:28 pm

Much like the magic he worked on our own economy, the steps Obama has undertaken have prevented a far greater disaster in Japan.

LesBontemps March 17, 2011 at 5:38 pm

Duh! Tax cuts! Problem solved!

If that doesn't work, then de-fund public services, repeal healthcare reform and "privatize" social security. And outlaw marriage for teh gheys, also too.

baconzgood March 17, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Where's Fred when we really need him
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXEuEUQIP3Q

Oldskool_ March 17, 2011 at 4:02 pm

March Madness must be a head-scratcher for (R)s. They practice it year round

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 4:03 pm

CPT

SayItWithWookies March 17, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Corporation for Pubic Teabaggery?

user-of-owls March 17, 2011 at 9:32 pm: No, "Cunt Posts 'T'"

nounverb911 March 17, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Obama is going to announce that he is running for mayor of Obama, Japan.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obama,_Fukui
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obama_Castle_(Fukui)

Extempor肛門 March 17, 2011 at 4:10 pm: OBAMA IS BEAUTIFUL WORLD!

LabRodent March 17, 2011 at 4:03 pm

That picture of Obama just screams Anti-Christ. Thats a shout out to all you teabaggers and birthers out there. your welcome

BarackMyWorld March 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm

But he's not a Jew.

LabRodent March 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm: Thats the beauty of it.
Lionel[redacted]Esq March 17, 2011 at 5:31 pm: Find his birth certificate and prove that!

Chicken Beaver March 17, 2011 at 4:03 pm

That photo is just like the Jesus drawings I remember back in church. We were Pentecostal. We lived for Russians, Mooslims, and fiery death through a-choco-lips.

ifthethunderdontgetya March 17, 2011 at 4:03 pm

It'd be nice if NPR would finally wise up and stop being "Nice Polite Republicans". They're never going to like you anyways, NPR, so just tell 'em to fuck right off.

Same for Obama, come to think of it.
~

mrpuma2u March 17, 2011 at 4:17 pm

EGGZAKLEE. These assholes (Boner and his minions) just get more obnoxious when they are pandered to. NPR needs to realize the untapped fund raising potential in the far left that find them too milk-toasty now. Throw off pretensions of being moderate, NPR.

Jukesgrrl March 17, 2011 at 4:21 pm: But is it even possible for ladies with pearls and tweed skirts?

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum March 17, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Why is Obama smiling at Boehner's glowing orange plallus?

SayItWithWookies March 17, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Oh, send Sean Assity to Libya, pleeeeease — "You think Wisconsin is having a violent uprising, motherfucker? Welcome to Benghazi."

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 17, 2011 at 5:32 pm: Please, he couldn't even stand up to Alan Colmes. Can you imagine him in a situation with a real threat?

The_Great_Gazoo March 17, 2011 at 4:06 pm

I knew that Blue State Radio would be going down someday. If I were on the other side I would hate them, too. Lots of stories about artsy multi-racial transgendered pansexuals, but nary a one about racist white, gun-toting conservative transgendered pansexuals.

mourningnmerica March 17, 2011 at 4:07 pm

I just hope he doesn't say anything that might hurt the reactors' feelings. Like him, I think we should try to find common ground with the leaking reactors.

Pragmatist2 March 17, 2011 at 4:07 pm

What bracket is Japan in?

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Far East?

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 4:25 pm

Hell-bound hand-baskets?

OneDollarJuana March 17, 2011 at 4:26 pm: Radionuclides.

SayItWithWookies March 17, 2011 at 4:50 pm

The Big 234.

MrsBiggTime March 17, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Let's see, we can cut funding for NPR but won't touch the USArmy's NASCAR sponsorship. And Rush wonders why Gaia's so pissed?

Jukesgrrl March 17, 2011 at 4:23 pm: Or the post office's flow of cash to Lance Armstrong?

Radio Iodide March 17, 2011 at 4:07 pm

We hope Jack is safe and not schtooping any radioactive sushi or anything, but Ken, you're a pretty good afternoon/circadian arrhythmia editor.

jonzin March 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm

So we have that going for us.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 17, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Let's stick with the important story. At long last, someone is getting back at the bully Terri Gross for the cruel way she treated Bill O'Reilly on her show.

baconzgood March 17, 2011 at 4:13 pm: You wouldn't talk to Al Frankin that way.

prommie March 17, 2011 at 4:09 pm

Fucking wow, man, radioactive death clouds, nuclear meltdown in Japan, plants closing in the us because no japanese parts, and we will be bombing Libya before the night is through, this is one hell of a situation. Its getting to be re-god-damn-diculous, is what it is.

proudgrampa March 17, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Who in hell is this "Obama?"

Jukesgrrl March 17, 2011 at 4:25 pm: I thing he's related to the vegetable lady from the farmer's market.

OneYieldRegular March 17, 2011 at 4:10 pm

We don't want the mushroom cloud to be a smoking gun.

MinAgain March 17, 2011 at 4:10 pm

I wish NPR would just give up on federal funding and tell the Republicans to kiss public radio's dainty, cafe` au lait-colored ass. I'll send 'em a few extra bucks.

jus_wonderin March 17, 2011 at 4:23 pm

I agree. Then they can deny Republicans interviews and watch them titter and explode.

emmelemm March 17, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Wouldn't the point of going full "independent, non-Congress-dependent" funded be that NPR could start having Republicans on and actually EVISCERATING them in interviews, which they should have been doing all along?

jqheywood March 17, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Preach it, brother!

emmelemm March 17, 2011 at 9:33 pm: I'm a sister!

But yeah, if NPR is what's supposedly passing for "real" journalism these days, but they're pissing their pants with fear because their existence is partially dependent on how a certain political party in control of Congress sees them, then we're screwed.

Steverino247 March 17, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Let me see if I got this straight. Japanese nuclear reactors are now equipped with 24 seconds until Doomsday shot clocks?

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 17, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Obama hasn't learned anything. When you are faced with a problem that the President can do nothing about, raise the threat level's color to Blackwatch plaid or something like that. Or invade a small Caribbean country that no one has ever heard of. Come on, why are the Republicans so much better at being impotent.

Oh, wait, just answered my own question.

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I stopped listening to NPR right before the November elections – couldn't stand the mealy-mouthed hand-wringing any more. Haven't listened to it since – cleave to classical music, sports-babble, and – yes, kiddies – the NYT, Chicago Tribune, and Wonkette, with occasional blasts of the New Yorker's slightly more muscular mealy-mouthed hand-wringing.

NPR brought its crisis on itself, not least by firing that idiot Juan Williams while subsidizing the incredibly lazy Cokie Roberts, and then compounding all of that in the O'Queef debacle. My local NPR outlet eliminated all its music and substituted wall-to-wall bland and boring local gab-fests, which it runs "fresh" in the morning and then re-runs (!!!!!!!!) at night.

Ken Layne March 17, 2011 at 4:37 pm

I finally realized that the only shows on public radio I still like are not NPR shows — they're all APM shows. NPR just does the mealy mouthed "objective news" (that still manages to be both smug and shallow) and those gab-fest shows I can't stand ("Talk of the Nation," how about "Shut the fuck up and not talk.") …. uh, anyway …. I basically listen to CBC ("Q" is a great show) and some APM shows and my beloved KUSC and some stations on the satellite, XMU and the Loft pretty much. So, NPR deserves it, because I do not like NPR.

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 4:45 pm: NPR lost me forever when it bought into reporting/repeating Republican positions without analyzing them for factual content, if any. And, at the risk of repeating myself, employing Juan Williams and Cokie Roberts, among others, while demanding nothing substantial or rigorous from them.
WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 4:46 pm: Williams and Roberts raise phoning it in to an art.
WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 4:47 pm: And why aren't replies to my comments showing up in my e-mail in-box anymore, so I knew who's saying what to/about me? Hennggghhh?
fuflans March 17, 2011 at 5:00 pm: q is awesome.
jqheywood March 17, 2011 at 10:01 pm: Come on….no Wait, Wait?

fuflans March 17, 2011 at 5:00 pm

wbez?

i totally agree about music and replaying 848, but i do think it's fine for a local station to produce a local show. and – while often rather monotone – jerome mcdonald gets pretty awesome interviews about generally uncovered topics.

mostly the defunding just pisses me off b/c it's assholes being assholes again. and winning.

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 5:28 pm: Yes, I'm ripping 'BEZ. I used to love it, when it was a mix of (1) news, (2) talk, (3) talk about art, and (4) actual art, including folk and jazz music. Not anymore.

I don't have any problem with local production, but, as you and I know, we have so much locally grown music in all genres that could use the showcase that BEZ could provide.

And I know there are other stations here that provide more music: COD, LUW, NUR. all well and good, but the talk is excessive and bland on 'BEZ, just like Tory Malatia.

Sorry. My hobby-horse.

Ms Nippon Quasimodo March 20, 2011 at 11:30 pm

What'ya Know" and "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" and "Car Talk" are great, but I listen to them on the internetz also through PRI (Public Radio Int'l). Also, the San Francisco NPR carries "Philosophy Talk," also on the internetz.

Sophist [DDS,DD,DFH] March 17, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Yes, the president letting us know there's some sort of thing going in Japan apparently is important, but first I want Obama to let us know whether Generalíssimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 4:16 pm

See above – he'll be gone in 2013.

Jerri March 17, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Terri Gross, what, what was it in your uh…in your childhood th th that um may have prepared you for, the uh, the uh, defunding of NPR by house, uh house Republicans? And to ah, follow up with that, s..s…s…so is there something from your cee dee you'd care to ah, share with us?

SmutBoffin March 17, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Will Barry (or his telepromptar) pretend to be a goddam nuclear physicist, like every other insufferable dweeb on the internet right now?

Beetagger March 17, 2011 at 6:12 pm: I want to see Rick Sanchez expose himself to radiation… on twittter… for science.
natoslug March 17, 2011 at 6:38 pm: I'm insufferable and a dweeb, but I don't even pretend to be a nuclear physicist. Although I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night . . .
KenLayIsAlive March 17, 2011 at 7:40 pm: What is great fun is to go to some right wing boards and read the pre-Japan threads about nuclear power. These dickfaces are all like "and that could neeeeever happen" about each and every last thing that is happening in Japan right now.

SmutBoffin March 17, 2011 at 4:20 pm

They don't answer any letters that aren't accompanied by a teabag (or check for $1000), nowadays.

OkieDokieDog March 17, 2011 at 4:42 pm: Yeah, I spend a good part of my day signing petitions to send to my 2 Repub Senators and my Repub Rep. I'm sure I'm on some "terrorist watch list" by now.

JoshuaNorton March 17, 2011 at 4:20 pm

The wingnut/teatard message is basically that we should simultaneously expand our use of nuclear energy while shrinking government’s ability to regulate it.

I wonder how much of this Barry will buy into.

nounverb911 March 17, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Maybe he will announce the immediate relocation of all US Nuke plants to John Boehner's district in Ohio.

jqheywood March 17, 2011 at 10:04 pm: After all, Boner's already got that healthy glow….

emmelemm March 17, 2011 at 4:32 pm

All of it, Katie.

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 4:36 pm

I thought that, too. And he will, probably…

sati_demise March 17, 2011 at 4:37 pm

If past performance is any indication of future results…..

emmelemm March 17, 2011 at 4:48 pm

I know, right? I don't want to get on the Ken Layne "Obama iz disappointment" bus, I really don't, but it's getting harder and harder…

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 5:29 pm: Mine is getting limper and limper…

onemoretime79 March 17, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Wall Street has no interest in funding nuclear power. It'll be on the taxpayers dime, any new plants get built…or any old plants get refurbished.

jus_wonderin March 17, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Alright. So, you cut NPR. NOW, what outlet will remain, by example, to show us that yelling "DICKWAD" in counterpoint debate is not polite?????

Updated: DICKWAD Conservatives!!!!

baconzgood March 17, 2011 at 4:25 pm

They took away my Flash player at work because I was watching too much pornography but I'm guessing he Blood Libeled Sarah Palin.

jus_wonderin March 17, 2011 at 4:32 pm

This might not be as convenient as Flash, but you could make handy pocket Flip book porn. Though, they might take the printer and tape dispenser away from you next.

baconzgood March 17, 2011 at 4:38 pm

They stole my stapler.

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 4:48 pm: …and now my desk is on the loading dock. The loading dock!

el_donaldo March 17, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Once again, what would we rather, the House making pointless political stunts to annoy liberals and rile up their base, or the House actually taking on substantive legislation?

mourningnmerica March 17, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Presidential Aide: Mr. President, the reactors are compromised.
Obama: Good. I guess my work is done then.

sati_demise March 17, 2011 at 4:34 pm

But we NEED HFCS to support the Big Pharma Industrial Complex!

vulpes82 March 17, 2011 at 5:02 pm

I'm beginning to think that Ken just is not pleased with this Obama fellow lately. Just a hunch I have.

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 5:29 pm: You could be on to something there, v82.

sati_demise March 17, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Travelers from Tokyo set off radiation monitors at O'Hare airport.

onemoretime79 March 17, 2011 at 7:29 pm: Before or after they went thru Michael Chertoff's porno scan machines?

Walkinwiddaking March 17, 2011 at 6:37 pm

Ralph Nader was right.

onemoretime79 March 17, 2011 at 7:30 pm

He *did* screw Al Gore?

Walkinwiddaking March 17, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Yes, he did screw Al "Big Carbon Imprint Of A Fucking Mansion" Gore. No, what Nader stated back in the the 80's was that essentially there was no difference between a Republican or Democrat. That's all I'm saying.

Walkinwiddaking March 17, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Oh yeah..links.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/05/17/photos-a...

onemoretime79 March 17, 2011 at 10:02 pm

So what are you saying, now, big boy? That there would have been no difference b/c Gore would have started a big fucking war in Iraq for no reason like GWB did?

gtfo

Walkinwiddaking March 17, 2011 at 10:19 pm: I have no idea. I'm just going by his record.

Walkinwiddaking March 17, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Oh yeah. Big Al really got screwed.

Walkinwiddaking March 17, 2011 at 9:10 pm: Sorry if I offended anybody but I find both parties reprehensible.

Walkinwiddaking March 17, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Just how fucking thick are you?

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