• May 26, 2012

Sarah Palin To Visit Israel, Where Jesus Lives

by Ken Layne  

According to this Michael Chabon book we read, Alaska *IS* Israel. Don't tell dummy!Haha, did you think she was really going away? NEVER. Not until the last nickel is grifted! Sarah Palin is doing an International Lecture Tour, which will consist of one speech (in India, because why not?) and then a second stop in Fox News’ closest strategic American ally, Israel. You don’t just “go to India,” wherever that is, without stopping at Jesus’ house. (Wait ’til she finds out Jesus is just some gay programmer who shares a flat in Tel Aviv by the dance clubs with his boyfriend, an Arab.) Why do wingnut Republicans considering a White House run always go to Israel? WE TOLD YOU IDIOTS ALREADY, because it’s where Jesus lives. Wait ’til she finds out those Israelis are all Jews! (Hopefully she will convert them real quick to the Church of Our Intolerable Wasilla Grifter.)

CNN has this, which isn’t much:

“I’m thankful to be able to travel to Israel on my way back to the U.S.,” Palin said in a statement obtained by CNN. “As the world confronts sweeping changes and new realities, I look forward to meeting with Prime Minister Netanyahu to discuss the key issues facing his country, our ally Israel.”

Other potential GOP candidates to visit Israel in recent months include Mitt Romney, Haley Barbour, and Mike Huckabee.

They should all be put in one of those “bone-cage balls” like in the Pirates of the Caribbean movie and then rolled into Gaza. Or just dump her at some old hippie kibbutz and watch her lose her freaking shit when she finds out it’s socialist. [CNN via chascates]

{ 230 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] March 17, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Fundies wouldn't give a tin shit about the Jooz and Israel if it didn't figure into their Rapture/Armageddon fantasies. Maybe this visit will be the trigger!

XOhioan March 17, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Right, After the Battle of Armageggon they all have to join Saddleback Church or get liquified by a Jesusbeam.

Ruhe March 17, 2011 at 3:50 pm

The beauty of this world historical meeting will be the clash of one fundie grifter, Palin, with a whole community of fundie grifters, ultra-orthodox Jews, whose grift depends on the first grifter's fundamentalist apocalypse fantasy.

zhubajie March 17, 2011 at 7:37 pm

They'd be blaming the Joos for all their own stupidities. I've already met one guy claiming Dispensationalism (the familiar end-times crap) is a Zionist plot!

Lost_Teabaggers March 17, 2011 at 8:07 pm

You know I've had this argument more than once over CUFI…how can orthodox jews make friends with fundies who make no bones about their armageddon fantasy and Israel's place in it? Why even Hitler wasn't nuts enough to vocalize a fantasy about every Jew on Earth save the ones who renounce their entire faith being burned to death by the Jesus Death Star like John Hagee does…eh, wasting my breath, right?

The good thing is non-Orthodox jews can't stand these inane redneck blighters and expose them at every turn. Check Mikey Weinstein's blog or Jews on first…it'll at least make you feel better to know not every Israelite is blinded by John Hagee's flock-paid for Bentley or his charlatan speak or his disgusting pasty, flabby, and sweaty red neck in the hot sun to what he really is and stands for. Also, it is funny when every so often a Christian fundie "friend of Israel" is confronted by a Jew who isn't buying into the bullshit…you get to see the same old anti-semites from the Civil Rights era haven't changed whatsoever….

SexySmurf March 17, 2011 at 2:19 pm

As if the Jews haven't suffered enough.

Maman March 17, 2011 at 2:26 pm

I have to think that Haley Barbour was worse… His drawl is condescending..

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Good God, this might force the whole country to move so they are not there when she arrives.

Jim89048 March 17, 2011 at 3:17 pm

If she flys in on a Samaritan's Purse corporate jet with the cargo hold full of sushi, she'll be greeted as the 2nd coming, or something.

MegPasadena March 17, 2011 at 3:33 pm

If it is a Samaritan's Purse corporate jet, it will be full of Bibles and cheap Christian toys like the ones they brought to Haiti.

Jim89048 March 17, 2011 at 4:40 pm

While what the people were clamoring for was cookies made from something other than mud…

elviouslyqueer March 17, 2011 at 4:29 pm

First the sushi, then this. Oh the HUMANITY.

KenLayIsAlive March 17, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Sure, but have they suffered as much as Sarah Palin?

LabRodent March 17, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Cant wait till she asked to visit the hospital where Jesus was born.

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm

personally, i want to see Jesus' birth certificate.

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm

And I heard his father wasn't really Joseph at all, but some Middle Eastern sky god.

DashboardBuddha March 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm

You'll never see the original. Those stone long form certificates are a bitch to lug around.

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm

i heard he's a Muslim. and in a Christian nation like Israel no less!

DashboardBuddha March 17, 2011 at 3:32 pm

But…on the positive side, he is the product of rape and his mom decided to carry him to term. None of this "except in the case of rape/incest" nonsense.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 17, 2011 at 2:41 pm

I think that's in L.A.

widestanceroman March 17, 2011 at 4:21 pm

I can't wait until they let her open and look into the ark.

Chet Kincaid March 19, 2011 at 11:02 am

Nice!

zhubajie March 17, 2011 at 7:39 pm

It's controlled by Catholics/Orthodox/Armenians. Maybe she can invent a Pentecostal alternative? There's already a Prot Calvary in Jerusalem!

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 2:20 pm

I can't wait for her to visit India and ask about their Indian casinos that she's heard so much about. The trip to Israel is amusing. We can now call her "Golda Myass" because she will never be fit to shine Meir's shoes.

SayItWithWookies March 17, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Wait'll she finds out Golda and David Ben-Gurion and all the other Israeli founders were — um — terrorists.

baconzgood March 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm

"So…..Sitting Bull was a neat fella. You betcha"

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 2:39 pm

"How come you guys aren't wearing the feathers on your head and living in tepees?"

LocalGirlMakesGoo March 17, 2011 at 6:19 pm

She's staying at the Taj Palace Hotel – crazy-posh, 5-star digs. But guess what? New Delhi still smells like low tide and rank vagina this time of year!

Also, I hope the paps adequately capture the look on her face the first time cross-dressing beggars ask her for "two rupee!"

trampndirtdown March 18, 2011 at 12:59 am

This trip is going to cost two batrillion a day!!11one!

Sue4466 March 17, 2011 at 2:21 pm

I like the way she threw in "our ally Israel" there at the end to show she her world leaders.

DonnyKerabotsos March 17, 2011 at 2:41 pm

She meant to say, "our ally North Israel," of course.

Radio Iodide March 17, 2011 at 4:12 pm

She's just "surveying" the landscape.

ManchuCandidate March 17, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Can Wasilla Upfister Grifter be considered Kosher?

HistoriCat March 17, 2011 at 3:26 pm

I doubt it – no other bottom feeders are Kosher.

Monsieur_Grumpe March 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

She’s there to show them how to shoot Palestinians from helicopters. Too soon or not soon enough?

OneDollarJuana March 17, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Not soon enough for the Israelis. They've already started.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Too true.

Steverino247 March 17, 2011 at 3:20 pm

In Israel, Palestinians are always in season.

GOPCrusher March 17, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Will someone tell Bible Spice that some Palestinians are Xtians?

MittsHairHelmet March 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

I bet she will go to a kibbutz, talk about how great it is to see everyone living and working together in a community and then compare it to a small town in Alaska.

MrsBiggTime March 17, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Oh Jeebus: to put together a kibbutz requires an organizer. A community organizer. Wait till she figures that one out.

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 2:28 pm

It'll be just like being a mom. Which is like a community organizer, but with real responsibility.

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 2:36 pm

And aren't they pretty much socialist communes? But I guess since they're established by religious fundamentalists instead of hippies they're OK.

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Palin will make some crack about how, if the kibbutz were in U.S. America, Janet Reno would have done it like she did the Branch Davidians.

zhubajie March 17, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Aren't most kibbutzniks militant atheist socialists?

el_donaldo March 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Sarah, when in India, drink lots and lots of tap water. And eat whatever food the street vendors are selling. It's fine. Don't worry.

widestanceroman March 17, 2011 at 2:32 pm

And please be sure to swim mouth-open in the Ganges.

el_donaldo March 17, 2011 at 2:37 pm

And then make sure you wear all white to your meeting with Netanyahu.

Radio Iodide March 17, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I wonder if Trig has learned to swim yet.

crybabyboehner March 17, 2011 at 3:27 pm

And whenever you meet anybody, shake their left hand.

widestanceroman March 17, 2011 at 3:36 pm

And a swastika pin fastened to your 'Blood Libel' t-shirt will be a riot, as the Jews practically invented irony.

Clancy_Pants March 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

"I look forward to meeting with Prime Minister Netanyahu to discuss the key issues facing his country, our ally Israel.”

Anyone tell Netanyahu yet? I'm sure he's going to be thrilled to find out what key issues are facing his country.

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Netanyahu always takes the time to meat with American private citizen famewhores.

donner_froh March 17, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Netanyahu, 30 seconds after Palin leaves his office: "Who the hell was that and which one of you idiots put her on my schedule?"

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Actually, he'll have a throbbing hard-on.

Remember: the Israeli Conservatives wanted to see HCR fail so Obama would have less moral authority, generally. In that case, the U.S. would be even more reluctant to push for a negotiated settlement, regarding settlements, in the Occupied Territories. Bibi is no friend of Obama, &, in fact, should be quite chummy with Sarah. Erect, also.

donner_froh March 17, 2011 at 3:01 pm

She might make his dick harder than a Spike anti-tank weapon but he might also be appalled when she starts talking about whatever the hell she is going to talk about.

PsycWench March 17, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Afterwards, I'm meeting with Netanyahu to discuss how many multiple choice questions I should put on next week's exam and whether he should or should not eat Claussen pickles.

fuflans March 17, 2011 at 4:23 pm

she's got chutzpah that one.

Preferred Customer March 17, 2011 at 6:05 pm

I hope she makes sure to namedrop Israel in her meeting with Netanyahu. I am sure he will be impressed at the advance homework she's done in identifying which country he is in charge of, and whether or not they are an ally of the United States.

Leopold Stotch March 17, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Love hows she's taken on role of being the US's self-appointed ambassador to Israel.
Gotta strengthen those Alaska-Israel ties. 'We're having those same kind of headaches with those pesky, snowball throwing Inuits'

VaWyo March 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Maybe they will name a settlement after her.

Preferred Customer March 17, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Or a bike racing stadium. The Palindrome?

Thanks. I'm here all week.

MrsBiggTime March 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

And Jesus wept.

OneDollarJuana March 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Thank Jehovah for Sarah that moose is kosher!

BaldarTFlagass March 17, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Maybe she can take them an order of sushi.

Extemporanus March 17, 2011 at 2:24 pm

That radioactive cunt.

OneDollarJuana March 17, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Maybe Sarah can convince the Russian Jews in Israeli to start building settlements in Alaska and take it back from us.

Troubledog March 17, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Just in time for the release of my Snowbilly Grifter Ale. It's known for a strong bite and a weak finish.

ifthethunderdontgetya March 17, 2011 at 2:26 pm

"I look forward to meeting with Prime Minister Netanyahu to discuss the key issues facing his country, our ally Israel."

Yeah, make sure you mention the coming sushi apocalypse.
~

freakishlywrong March 17, 2011 at 2:26 pm

I'm embarrassed in advance. This is going to be so fucking embarrassing.

SexySmurf March 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm

It's going to be like Whitney Houston's visit times a hundred.

widestanceroman March 17, 2011 at 2:42 pm

She's taking him some of her own county fair-winning meth, right?

Chicken Beaver March 17, 2011 at 2:43 pm

And it will be released to birthers on Special Edition DVD, for only $24.95. Every. Single. God. Damn. Step. She. Takes.

Only on Fox.

jus_wonderin March 17, 2011 at 3:54 pm

But wait. There's more.

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 3:56 pm
ph7 March 17, 2011 at 2:26 pm

She's going to speak to the Chosen People through her burning bush.

OneDollarJuana March 17, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Sarah, there's ointment for that.

Radio Iodide March 17, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Or Iodide capsules.

DashboardBuddha March 17, 2011 at 2:44 pm

That'll teach to eat spicy food.

Ruhe March 17, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Chatterbox remade as a tense religious/political drama in the vein of a Dan Brown adventure. In this version our heroine is lead around the holy land as she follows cryptic clues that she hears whispered from her pants. The fate of the Jewish people hangs in the balance as Sarah and Todd search for the magic "Boggle Travel Edition" game that holds the key to converting Israel to Christianity.

ttommyunger March 17, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Todd must have been a little rough on the Beaver last night.

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Could you just see her in India "Sacred cows have a place, right next to the mashed potatoes"

jus_wonderin March 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm

She's gonna need a larger stock grinder. That turkey thing will be overwhelmed.

V572625694 March 17, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Or asking Indian PM Manmohan Singh, "Do you know where I can get a good deal on cashmere sweaters around here?"

arihaya March 18, 2011 at 3:52 am

or asking Manmohan Singh (a Sikh) that he look like a Muslim

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 2:29 pm

So is this going to be the first time she's left the country?

And sorry, Israel; you may do some shitty things to the Palestinians but you don't deserve this.

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Well, it's the longest flight she's taken without leaking amniotic fluid over 8 states.

Radio Iodide March 17, 2011 at 4:27 pm

That would have been the greatest story ever told if she delivered a baby on a transcontinental commercial flight. A sitting governor stupid enough to get on a plane in labor, multigravida and with ruptured membranes in her 8th month of a high risk pregnancy. Yep, her perineum flailing in full view and spewing meconium and afterbirth. Do flight attendants know how to use forceps and do they even know what an APGAR is? The cellphones might not communicate, but the video would be priceless.

Ms Nippon Quasimodo March 20, 2011 at 2:09 am

Damn, Radio-whatsit, you speak as if you know that of which you speak! You know midwifery/obstetrics-speak!

OneDollarJuana March 17, 2011 at 2:42 pm

As far as I can tell, most Alaskans think that the lower 48 is a foreign country, good for only two things: as a market for salmon and as a source of free tax dollars.

Boredw/Gravitas March 17, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Don't forget she gets socialist healthcare in Canada.

SayItWithWookies March 17, 2011 at 2:49 pm

We should require her to find the US on a map before we let her back in.

Gunner Asch March 17, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Don't give her the answer! She may actually make it back.

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Sarah's actually going to Israel as Bristol's agent. The daughter is shooting with the ASSraelis, for a farce titled Semen on the Temple Mount, & Sarah needs to make sure the payment is made up-front. ('Cause, you know how those Jews are.)

SayItWithWookies March 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm

I saw a piece that said this was going to be a "private" visit — and now she wants to talk to Netanyahu. Dear former half-term governor — in one of these options, nobody pays attention to you, and in the other option you have to answer questions. Pick just one.

Gunner Asch March 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Yes, but the only questions will be from Fox bimbos asking her to specify just how many ways she is awesome and presidential. (Ans: all of them)

donner_froh March 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Palin probably doesn't know any Jews other than the whacked-out neoconservatives who pushed her into the political spotlight and she couldn't find Israel on a map of Israel.

Jukesgrrl March 17, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Oh, c'mon — maps are just pieces of paper, also, too.

neiltheblaze March 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Excellent, now they can commiserate about the impending lack of decent sushi.

Chicken Beaver March 17, 2011 at 2:57 pm

She could offer to middle-man the Israelis some Deadliest Catch, because fuck sushi. Crab meat FTW.

neiltheblaze March 17, 2011 at 3:10 pm

"Whaddaya mean ya can't eat shellfish??" she screeched.

DerrickWildcat March 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Israel belongs to Christians. The Jews are just guarding it for us. You see when Jesus returns in May, he's gonna kill everybody except for the goodest Christians like me and my cat and take myself and Mr. Giggles on his intergalactic spaceship to the planet Zoot where the streets are Goldlined with Gold and the grass is made of chicken and Fancy Feast.
Don't believe me?
Well read you BIBBLES people!

emmelemm March 17, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Mmm, Fancy Feast.

trampndirtdown March 18, 2011 at 1:08 am

That doesn't sound so good they're not taking any poors to shit on..

refudiatedness March 17, 2011 at 2:31 pm

And lo, the angel of the lord showed herself to Palestine as she refudiated Satan. When those that lived there reached to touch the hem of her garment they were rebuked because they did not haveth enough shekels.

pukebot March 17, 2011 at 2:31 pm

exporting meth could close the trade gap. she's retarded like a fox.

hockeymom March 17, 2011 at 2:31 pm

So the meeting with Netanyahu is actually on his schedule?
Why would he even agree to that?
Seems like the potential for embarrassment for both countries would be huge.

DashboardBuddha March 17, 2011 at 2:41 pm

We can only hope.

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Yeah, it's the Ben and has-been tour.

GOPCrusher March 17, 2011 at 5:48 pm

I don't get it either. Maybe I should schedule a trip to Israel and see if Bibi will meet with me.

Signed
Joe Q. Sixpack, common citizen

baconzgood March 17, 2011 at 2:31 pm

"I'm going to IZ-REAL because I was Blood Libeled like all those JEUZ and share a common Blood Libel with them being Blood Libeled and we'll talk about Blood Libeling and how unfair it is being Blood Libeled.
BLOOD LIBEL"

BaldarTFlagass March 17, 2011 at 2:32 pm

I can just see her deplaning in Mumbai, taking one look/sniff, making the Gas Face, and getting right back on the plane.

OneDollarJuana March 17, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Say, has anyone noticed that hand in the photo? Looks like it's going to cop a feel. Maybe it belongs to former Israeli president Moshe Katsav?

mourningnmerica March 17, 2011 at 4:15 pm

You mean the one in front of the PAPER MACHE SKULL on the desk?

BarackMyWorld March 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Maybe she can tell them about how the Archangel Gabriel will protect their nation from the Anti-Christ's army during the Great Tribulation once they accept Jesus, while Christians in America who weren't saved in time for the Rapture will be rounded up and executed for not accepting the Mark of the Beast.

Mahousu March 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm

This just shows the sway Israel holds, in that they can send Sarah Palin out for sushi.

Joke's on them, though, if she really does pick up the sushi from India. The Bombay duck "special" roll will not soon be forgotten. (The odor hangs around that long.)

Come here a minute March 17, 2011 at 2:36 pm

She will have the same enjoyment and success on this trip as in her years as a college student in Hawaii.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Maybe she can run for President of Israel. She does have a nicely developed persecution complex.

donner_froh March 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm

She will finally get to use the cool passport she got back in 2008.

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Yes, and the leather jacket she got back in 1978.

Chicken Beaver March 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Holy shit.

walstib March 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I'll plant a tree in Jerusalem for every rock that finds its way into this crazy bitch's face.

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Binyamin and Sarah – two of my favorite yahoos. (See what I did there?)

mourningnmerica March 17, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Sarah: Whatcha doin?
Bibi: Nuttin yahoo.

CrunchyKnee March 17, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Cunt on top of the Dead Sea Holiday Inn: I can see Jesus' house from here!!!111!!!one

DashboardBuddha March 17, 2011 at 2:40 pm

It's like any party really.

JoshuaNorton March 17, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Math question:

If Palin and Bachmann appeared together, how many boobs would there be?

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Tits easy to figure out. They each have two boobs and then everyone who shows up is a boob. It's boobapalooza.

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Has a visit to Israel become a requirement for GOP Presidential candidates now, to show how much they believe in the Biblical prophecy bullshi-, er, a, love Jews?

Chicken Beaver March 17, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Her post-gubernatorial career is my Via Dolorosa.

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 17, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Please, please, please spend some time in Tokyo while on holiday.

donner_froh March 17, 2011 at 2:45 pm

She will need an interpreter since the Israeli PM isn't fluent in the Trailer Trash dialect of English.

nounverb911 March 17, 2011 at 2:45 pm

But can she part the Red Sea?

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Bigger question: what will she do about Xtine's burning bush?

Chicken Beaver March 17, 2011 at 2:59 pm

That thing would separate East from West.

keepem_sikanpor March 17, 2011 at 2:48 pm

She'll do it if nobody else will (again).

JoshuaNorton March 17, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Even if she could, it would probably only be half way.

MissTaken March 17, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Oh god, I've been on Wonkette too long when that immediately made me imagine her having her monthly cycle and opening up her legs.

Time to drink!

memzilla March 17, 2011 at 2:47 pm

"International Grifting Tour."

/fixed

GOPCrusher March 17, 2011 at 5:53 pm

When she comes back into the U.S., she needs to be met by a couple of IRS agents with subpeonas to investigate where the money came from to fund this little excursion.

XOhioan March 17, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Israelis are good people, considering what they killed our Lord.

V572625694 March 17, 2011 at 3:32 pm

No no, Pope Ratzi gave them a get-out-of-eternal-damnation-free card on that one, so no hard feelings, right?

Sure, sure, the Inquisition…hey, mistakes were made!

Radio Iodide March 17, 2011 at 4:30 pm

How indulgent of you!

nounverb911 March 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Someone should remind Palin that the plagues were in Egypt not Israel.

MinAgain March 17, 2011 at 2:53 pm

First, tainted sushi, and now this. I believe God has officially unchosen the Jews as his peculiar people.

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 2:53 pm

OK, first time she's needed to use a passport / left North America.

donner_froh March 17, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Netanyahu: "Where all the blond shiksas at?"

MLite March 17, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Jesus, she's meeting with Bibi? Do Israeli's have to pretend to take her seriously too?

freakishlywrong March 17, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Please someone tell her not to request a bendy straw for her mango lassi…

Mumbletypeg March 17, 2011 at 3:07 pm

mmm… mango lassi sounds hella better than green beer right now.

Ducksworthy March 17, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Does SP know we pay for their don't ask don't care military so they can pay for their socialist health care?

Jukesgrrl March 17, 2011 at 5:25 pm

FTW.

Guppy06 March 17, 2011 at 3:02 pm

When Ahmadinejad said that a Jewish state should be created in Alaska instead, this isn't what he had in mind.

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 3:57 pm

He reads Michael Chabon?

hagajim March 17, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Aide: Mr. Prime Minister, Sarah Palin is coming to see you.
Netanayhu: Who? I'm trying to run a country surrounded by hostiles here…I don't have time to sign autographs for some dumb Americunt!

DaSandman March 17, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Radioactive sushi and now this. No one on Planet Earth is having a good week.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 17, 2011 at 3:06 pm

You all think you are so smart. Just wait until The Half-Term Quitting Governor shows you! She'll go to the Dome of the Rock, convert to Islam, and announce that she will be the head of the new Caliphate in the United States.

None of you will be expecting that, will you?

donner_froh March 17, 2011 at 3:09 pm

While not expecting it, since you bring it up I would pay cash money to see it.

magnetite March 17, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Low-rent's of Arabia?

Steverino247 March 17, 2011 at 3:29 pm

If there was a six figure check in it for her, sure!

DaSandman March 17, 2011 at 11:38 pm

LOL Take THAT bitches!

magnetite March 17, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Seriously, someone should keep her the hell away from that place. Promise her anything – the Presidency, kittens, anything. Just keep that woman the hell away from that place.

prommie March 17, 2011 at 3:06 pm

She's looking for the red calf.

widestanceroman March 17, 2011 at 3:09 pm

She'll be so amazed how anyone ever caught a whale with a wall, she won't even notice that her water broke again.

mourningnmerica March 17, 2011 at 3:37 pm

She'll still continue her trip, then go have the baby when she gets back, like last time.

widestanceroman March 17, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Dropping it off at Mom's in Canoga Falls, who will stare off in the distance while plopping it in the umbrella stand and resuming conversation with her guests?

prommie March 17, 2011 at 3:09 pm

I hate to traffic in hateful ethnic stereotypes, but she'd make a great Isreali, she's fucking annoying as hell.

tessiee March 17, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Maybe she'll like Israel so much, she'll name her next fake-kid-grandbaby Tref.

tessiee March 17, 2011 at 3:10 pm

*weary sigh*

Will this dizzy bitch just GO AWAY?
It's gotten to the point where just *looking* at her smug, silly puss makes me stabby.

Jukesgrrl March 17, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Hey, she's paying the bills at Wonkette. And a couple of other websites, too.

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 3:10 pm

I can't wait for Todd to show up at the Gaza Strip with a stack of dollar bills and ask for a "massage" It's not going to be like at home when they have D-cup night at Stiffies bar and grill, eh?

GuyClinch March 17, 2011 at 4:03 pm

He'll be doing that while she's off cashing her India grifting check at the West Bank.

The_Great_Gazoo March 17, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Hope someone gives her a cup of wormwood juice and tells her its holy.

ThundercatHo March 17, 2011 at 3:22 pm

India? Really? Dots or feathers?

102415 March 17, 2011 at 3:28 pm

MCcain told her she had to go do this or he wouldn't let her become his second in command of Sovereign Arizonia. She is serious about that Senator job and the girls can breed with the Quayles and I do need a drink after all.

fuflans March 17, 2011 at 4:30 pm

that is just an awful awful thing you wrote.

102415 March 18, 2011 at 10:35 am

Yeah. So? ;:

assistantatlas March 17, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Jesus does not live in fucking Israel, Ken. Jesus lives in my heart, you atheist librul Muslin bastard. He can also sometimes be found at the bottom of a bottle of absinthe.

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 5:12 pm

I thought Jesus was lost, since people are always asking me if I've found him.

dox[acted] March 17, 2011 at 3:31 pm

As if being a Palestinian weren't bad enough already….

mourningnmerica March 17, 2011 at 3:31 pm

She is going to speak on behalf of all of the Mahjong Moms.

mourningnmerica March 17, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Q: What does Tawd Palin call anal sex?

A: I did her odd.

undeterredbyreality March 17, 2011 at 3:34 pm

I know it's already been said, but it can't be said enough: Seriously? Doesn't Netanyahu have a country to run? Why on earth would he take time to meet this bubble-headed nincompoop? Why?

I bet she's meeting the Netanyahoo who runs the local Beef & Belial Deli. Prime Minister indeed.

widestanceroman March 17, 2011 at 3:47 pm

He requested the visit, as he loved her work in 'Nailin' Palin.'

jus_wonderin March 17, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Hell, that girl has a better chance at becoming President.

doloras March 17, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Fun fact: during WW2 there was serious talk about establishing a Jewish homeland in Alaska. The alternate history novel "The Yiddish Policemen's Union" runs with this scenario.

BeWoot March 17, 2011 at 3:54 pm

And is a darned good read.

ShaveTheWhales March 17, 2011 at 9:20 pm

See alt-text

Jerri March 17, 2011 at 3:39 pm

But "obtained" makes it sound like they did some super-secret WoodStein-style investigative reporting, almost like a real news outfit would.

cheetojeebus March 17, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Didn't Hawaii make her 'uncomfortable'? Mumbai should be a blast!

BeWoot March 17, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Alaska's anger bear on an international lecture tour? Don't those poor people overseas have enough problems already?

Oh, well. Now at least the would-be emigrants in India will find out that all is not sweetness and light in the USA. Of course they will also learn that "lecture" and "hector" may sometimes converge. American Exceptionalism, dinge bitches!

ringletwraith March 17, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Do you suppose she'll notice the difference if they set her up to visit with Ariel Sharon instead of Netanyahoo?

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 3:58 pm

She'll think he's Margaret Thatcher.

GuyClinch March 17, 2011 at 3:57 pm

And why does she have lil' Trig taped to her jacket like that?

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Because using a nail gun would put holes in her leather jacket.

jus_wonderin March 17, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin, who?

V572625694 March 17, 2011 at 4:02 pm

It’s Olivia Wilde’s (“13” on “House MD”) eye. Totally captivating, to me at least.

Ruhe March 17, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Terrible. And funny.

jus_wonderin March 17, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Hey! Why don't we just move when she is gone???

Hipple, Rev. Paul T. March 17, 2011 at 4:18 pm

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elviouslyqueer March 17, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Twat's that, Sarah? I cunt hear you over your grifting.

fuflans March 17, 2011 at 4:33 pm

this is a little off topic but i am in a shallow mood today. wtf is on her jacket?

widestanceroman March 17, 2011 at 4:40 pm

A fetus?

102415 March 18, 2011 at 10:28 am

A Sarah Palin pin in case she gets lost.

widestanceroman March 17, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Is it OK that I tugged on my ear while I upfisted you?

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Oh please, Sarah, run; here from old Jim, independents would vote for Charlie Sheen over her:
http://gawker.com/#!5783033/independents-pick-she…

Wilcoxyz March 17, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Bet she can't wait to see both parts of the Red Sea.

Jukesgrrl March 17, 2011 at 5:24 pm

She'll call them Israelites instead of Israelis in 3, 2, 1…

PublicLuxury March 17, 2011 at 5:31 pm

When did Netanyahu begin meeting with 'regular ordinary' people. Do you just call his assistant, give s/he the date your going to be in town and it is convenient to have sit down over beer and brats with the Prime Minister of Israel? You'd think he would have more urgent matters to attend to, like rebuilding the Temple or crucifying somebody.

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 8:40 pm

You ask an excellent question.
I would like to know who the hell she thinks she is to travel to other countries and act like she has any political power. You don't see Kim Kardashian, calling Hugo Chávez to talk about anything.

Lud March 17, 2011 at 6:49 pm

If there is anything Sarah Palin is sure of it is U.S. allies:

When Palin was asked how she would handle the Korean conflict as a prospective president she responded: “Well, North Korea… this is stemming from, I think, a greater problem when we’re all sitting around asking, ‘Oh no, what are we going to do’, and we’re not having a lot of faith that the White House isn’t going to come out with a strong enough policy . . . Obviously, we’ve gotta stand with our North Korean allies – we’re bound to, by treaty…"

GeorgiaPeachy March 17, 2011 at 7:15 pm

The Klondike Kardashian says she's heading for Israel, but not until she gets to meet Sitting Bull and Geronimo on her first stop.

ttommyunger March 17, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Like most unsophisticated rubes, she prolly thinks Israel is a Theocracy. Will try to impress Bebe with her Bible props. Quiz him as to who is the shortest man in the Bible? (A: Bildad the Shuhite) What is God's nick-name? (A: Andy…And he walks with me, and he talks with me…) You're welcome, I'll be here all week.

techmom March 17, 2011 at 7:59 pm

too

wilson201 March 17, 2011 at 9:22 pm

you betcha!

rocktonsam March 17, 2011 at 8:02 pm

$he'll be pleased to find out all that blood libel Joos and her have in common.

LibrulEleet March 17, 2011 at 8:08 pm

I hope Netan Yahoo trades her to Hamas for the Israeli soldier they kidnapped a few years ago.

Jim89048 March 17, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Now that Gilbert Gottfried has been canned, couldn't her voice be put to better use as the AFLAC duck?

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 8:41 pm

Hilarious!

Jim89048 March 17, 2011 at 9:31 pm

It would only be a short matter of time before she also too twatted something racist and would also get fired, but it might be fun to watch. With the sound off.

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Someone reported that she said, "Sambo beat the bitch" in reference to Barack and Hillary.

Then again, maybe the emails will tell us something. I can't wait for them to be released.

Walkinwiddaking March 17, 2011 at 10:05 pm

At some point she is going to disappear, like NOW.

trampndirtdown March 18, 2011 at 1:20 am

Them furin parts is purty scary, she should take some of Joe the Miller's security forces with her.

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi March 18, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Don't cry for me Netanyahu
The truth is I never left you

All through my wild days
My mad existence

I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance

Walkinwiddaking March 18, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Nice to see that her latest book is being given away as an enticement to subscribe to Townhall.com. It's about $35 for you folks that are interested. She is joined in this Pantheon of conservative giants by Beck, Savage and Morris. That's pretty fancy ass wipe.

Radio Iodide March 17, 2011 at 4:11 pm

so that's how "god's" DNA got in there…who knew?

HistoriCat March 17, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Has this proven? Because all I see is an accused and a victim an accuser.

Dashboard_Jesus March 17, 2011 at 11:27 pm

hey, hey, hey…this is startin' to get a little TOO personal!

SorosBot March 17, 2011 at 5:07 pm

And besides, maybe she was acting like a hussy and deserved it, like this gang-raped 11-year-old girl in Texas:
http://www.balloon-juice.com/2011/03/17/blaming-t...
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2011/03/16/republican-...

DashboardBuddha March 18, 2011 at 8:01 am

No shame, DJ…no shame. Just be thankful your "dad" came as a human form and not a bull, swan, or shower of gold like some other god.

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