LIBERTARIANS  2:16 am March 17, 2011

Koch Bros. Creating Drone Army of Dumb Young Libertarians

by Ken Layne


Oh for fuck’s sake.

But is there still time to apply? And what are the requirements?

Required

* Solid understanding of free-market principles
* Commitment to limited government and the advancement of individual liberty
* Solid academic record
* 0-10 years of work experience
* Minimum of a bachelor’s degree
* Strong interest in learning MBM® in the non-profit setting

Watch these people closely, because they’re the ones you’ll have to lead to the gallows when the revolution comes. (The actual billionaires and millionaires will evacuate by private jet.) They’ve all got the “hair product” and talk like 70-year-old right-wing hedge-fund managers, even though they’re all about 20 and share a 1980s’ condo in Ballston. [YouTube/ThinkTanked via "Doug"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 216 comments }

qshoe1989 March 17, 2011 at 2:20 am

Liberty: I do not think that word means what you think it means.

aguacatero March 17, 2011 at 2:21 am

Tedious management jargon in defense of liberty is, it would appear, no vice.

cheaphits March 17, 2011 at 7:36 am

There is no there, there, is there?

user-of-owls March 17, 2011 at 8:18 am

I fail to see how your statement creates synergies.

Oblios_Cap March 17, 2011 at 8:48 am

A new paradigm is born!

user-of-owls March 17, 2011 at 9:05 am

You are adding value to this thread with a holistic approach, complimenting our helicopter view, thus creating a win-win situation!

Numbat_Dundee March 17, 2011 at 8:58 am

Did she consult with the stakeholders, or were they all Transylvanian peasants intent on ramming their staked into the heart of a Koch brother?

jqheywood March 17, 2011 at 10:14 am

I don't believe the heart was where the stakes were aimed. They did, after all, call that famous Transylvanian "Vlad the Impaler"…

memzilla March 17, 2011 at 2:23 am

You can hardly see the implants or the neck bolts. Da Kochs bought Max Factor? And how long do their batteries last before they need to be recharged with goat's blood?

OneDollarJuana March 17, 2011 at 10:47 am

I know a good dermatologist for Ms. Lee's mole.

evan7257 March 17, 2011 at 2:25 am

Why is it a nonprofit? Isn't that Communism?

Ken Layne March 17, 2011 at 2:26 am

Nonprofits don't pay taxes.

Roket54 March 17, 2011 at 2:42 am

Thus, the perfect money laundering operation. Koch Bros donates to Koch Bros 501(c)3. And a good time was had by all soon follows.

CliveWarren March 17, 2011 at 2:57 am

It is a religion, so why not make it a tax exempt church. Latter day taints?

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 3:09 am

Hey, it worked for Scientology, and they're total taints. I think you may be on to something, here…

glamourdammerung March 17, 2011 at 6:43 am

They are allegedly a bunch of total taints. They are also allegedly very fond of litigation. Allegedly.

BaldarTFlagass March 17, 2011 at 7:31 am

I'm thinking "Holy Order of The Wonk." Tequila shooters instead of communion wine; chips and queso instead of wafers to represent the Flesh of Anna Marie Cox. Can't wait to get me some of that sweet sweet transubstantiation!!

WIDTAP March 17, 2011 at 5:51 am

Free market and non-profit. ….Ok.

glamourdammerung March 17, 2011 at 6:43 am

"Free market" and sucking at the government tit by avoiding taxes that everyone knows they should be paying.

Sounds pretty Libertarian to me.

Radio Iodide March 17, 2011 at 12:57 pm

It's worse than that. Blue Cross/Blue Shield is a non-profit…

e_z March 17, 2011 at 2:26 am

Genuine Gibberish, ask for it by name.

Sophist [DDS,DD,DFH] March 17, 2011 at 6:58 am

"Not only was it authentic frontier glibertarian gibberish, it expressed the courage idiocy little too often seen in this day and age."

Alternate movie reference: "Oh stewardess! I speak jive free-market bullshit."

DownFist Troll March 17, 2011 at 2:29 am

Neo-liberal economics: the other "neo" road to corporate fascism white meat.

bflrtsplk March 17, 2011 at 2:29 am

The best thing about Thursdays? Friday happy hour only one day away.

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 2:48 am

dude does look genuinely excited about Market-based Management Thursdays. i can't say i blame him. it's very exciting shit. 8(

Dashboard_Jesus March 17, 2011 at 3:03 am

Happy St. Paddy's Day everybody…top 'o the mornin' to ya, I'm gettin' an early start!

denverite March 17, 2011 at 2:29 am

I thought this was a SNL skit.

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 2:55 am

worst. infomercial. ever.

Fukui_sanYesOta March 17, 2011 at 2:30 am

It's the Science of Liberty!(tm)

Just learn that Market-Based-Management(R) and you too can get a job with "non-profit" corporate-funded fuckos like the Cato Institute and the AEI! Then, once you've done your stint shilling in the trenches, get yourself a fat six-figure salary at some huge fucking bastard corporation and fuck everyone else. For freedom.

Almost the most sickening thing was that bird telling how even if you don't have a background in "econ", it's helpful to at least know a little in order to argue for the ideas that you're being told to argue for.

Ugh, ugh, ugh. More wine.

Dashboard_Jesus March 17, 2011 at 2:42 am

I hear ya Fukyu, lookin' at the bottom of the bottle myself…and I hate these whiny little bastard children with the heat of a thousand suns!

Fukui_sanYesOta March 17, 2011 at 2:45 am

The only consolation to take away is that these entitled fuckers with their almost entirely selfish motives really do have no fucking idea how vicious it is in the circles they want to try to move in. Ninety percent of these people will get fucked and end up at forty wondering where on earth it went wrong.

Of course, it's impossible to tell them now, because in their minds they're all John or Jane Galt.

SilverFox March 18, 2011 at 9:40 am

Well when they hit 40, and they realize their "non-profit" careers of repackaging corporatist propaganda haven't amounted to shit, they'll just blame poors, teachers, nurses, police officers, anyone who has sought and achieved a meaningful life path for somehow being entitled. Kind of like now. It's the circle of life.

gef05 March 17, 2011 at 7:25 am

"It's the Science of Liberty!(tm)"

You get a fist just for this. Nice.

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 7:33 am

He didn't make that up. The woman at 50 seconds in actually uses that shit terminology. I wish it was a joke.

gef05 March 17, 2011 at 7:36 am

<head explodes>

Edit: I did skip through to listen to various small parts, but I missed that. I was going to go back and listen to it but it's too too depressing.

Fukui_sanYesOta March 17, 2011 at 7:43 am

It's frightening. She's so young that it feels like it's "Friedman-Fever".

The guy at 3:10 has a face you could never tire of punching.

Weenus299 March 17, 2011 at 9:59 am

Market Based Management? Or Manipulatin' Bubba's Money?

Dashboard_Jesus March 17, 2011 at 2:30 am

personally I wouldn't trust any Koch-sucking douchebag named 'Logan' to manage my multi-billion $$$$ conservatard 'non-profit' corporation…srsly, I've never seen such a pathetic group of privileged, white fratboys/girls since college, and I hate these assholes more now than I did then (of course I was doing a lot more drugs in those days!) oh, and not ONE of them even mentions the Jesus, WTF?

BarryOPotter March 17, 2011 at 8:30 am

Dearth of non-profit managers? Maybe in Kock Industries circles, since everyone knows where the money is – in amongst the for-profit business lines. This must be the place you find jobs for the shit-tastic kids of your despised-but-useful relatives.

"Yes, Whimsy. Have Logan send his resume. I think I have a position for him that will allow him to really make a difference while [wasting time] learning MBM [instead of actually working or going for an MBfuckingA]. No, Whims dear, that does not mean 'Monthly Bowel Movements' you drunk whore – oh, you know I mean that affectionately…"

It's like I'm projecting or something…

BerkeleyBear March 17, 2011 at 9:33 am

What's really sad to me is that this attitude is just further going to devalue the image of people who work in the non-profit sector. Those folks will tell you that the worst managers are invariably the ones who think you can run a charity like its a business, despite the fact that the former has to be mission and not profit or market oriented to work.

No snark – you've never seen fucked up until you see someone trying to run a nursing home or soup kitchen like a for profit enterprise (not that these assholes would see any upside in that sort of work).

Beowoof March 17, 2011 at 9:47 am

Whenever I hear these douchebags carry on about how you should run government like a business I cringe. I also ask them which model we should follow: Enron, Worldcom, Adelphia, etc. That usually shuts them the fuck up.

BarryOPotter March 17, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Those are usually the same assholes too incompetent and ill-equipped to run a business or any part of government.

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 2:42 am

the Tyrell Corporation's new Nexus 6 models are pretty convincing. but this means we'll have to train more people on the Voight-Kampff machine if they start killing their masters and escaping to Earth.

DownFist Troll March 17, 2011 at 2:47 am

Epic nerd upfist for that one

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 2:58 am

thanks. it was a tough choice picking Replicants over Daleks.

Extemporanus March 17, 2011 at 5:41 am

Meesa just very, very okee-day dat yousa not use da maxi-big scary "Drone Army" headline forsa to spake likesa Jar-Jar Binks.

doloras March 17, 2011 at 4:16 am

But is the Voight-Kampff machine supposed to test if I'm a replicant or a lesbian? Because it keeps saying "yes" on both and now I'm confused.

ShaveTheWhales March 17, 2011 at 4:46 am

I think that means you get a prize.

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 4:48 am

just answer the questions, please. you're watching Ellen and a guest is wearing a leather coat…

schvitzatura March 17, 2011 at 4:25 am

The closest these simple tools will get to seeing attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion is on Netflix.

Time to die…

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 4:42 am

but they can imagine it when they're rolling a D20 around on their lunch breaks. if they had imaginations :(

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 4:51 am

actually, that sounds like a euphemistic way of saying they couldn't get laid if they paid for it.

schvitzatura March 17, 2011 at 5:06 am

Even the Junior Ayn Rand chicas? I bet they are super-fly, with their tramp stampage and brazilian waxed vag…during their off-time from being members of an elite not-for-profit, off-world kick murder squad.

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 5:18 am

that's the worst/best tv show idea ever.

seriously though, would you want to have to sign a contract to lock parts with a member of the junior anti-sex league? they're just going to turn you in after it's over.

Doktor Avalanche March 17, 2011 at 9:29 am

You have a strange and beautiful mind.

Ducksworthy March 17, 2011 at 9:34 am

Soon as the wind shifts, we'll all be chickenheads.

bagofmice March 17, 2011 at 10:09 am

Behold, the power of the Chickenhed.

Gunner Asch March 17, 2011 at 11:23 am

I an officially old. I have no idea what that is about.

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 10:21 am

I don't know what they're dreaming about, but my androids are screaming in their sleep. This can't be good.

trashbot March 17, 2011 at 2:47 am

ew, gross.

Dashboard_Jesus March 17, 2011 at 2:56 am

well if I'm not a drunken leprachaun, I never seen the 'trashbot' on the Wonkette in all my years of late night (drunk) readin' and yet you got a 135" p-ness…good on ya laddie!
http://lunaticsasylum.blogspot.com/2010/03/happy-

trashbot March 17, 2011 at 6:20 am

I strive for maximum Pee with minimum verbiage

Dashboard_Jesus March 17, 2011 at 11:51 pm

well, mission accomplished!

Barbara_i March 17, 2011 at 10:09 am

And with only 13 comments posted.

tbogg March 17, 2011 at 2:53 am

It's almost like Stormfront teamed up with Amway to create an MBA program.

neiltheblaze March 17, 2011 at 6:43 am

Perfect. Yes, it's just like that..

glamourdammerung March 17, 2011 at 6:47 am

I kind of have to disagree. If only because at least neo-nazis are more logically consistent than Libertarians (have to keep remembering to capitalize the names of religions).

BarryOPotter March 17, 2011 at 8:34 am

Well, there was that one black lady in the recruiting video, but I don't think she's "like the others"…

Gorillionaire March 17, 2011 at 12:27 pm

"Show the plan! Show the plan!…"

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 2:59 am

blah, blah, blah, freedom. blah, blah, blah, science. blah, blah, blah, add value.

So, this is just a conservative brainwashing/re-education outfit/scheme, right? The banality of evil, indeed.

The Koch Bros. have reworked the formula of their drug, because obviously, the point is to make the Koch-whores seem as reasonable and lucid as possible, instead of hyperactive meth addicts.

"Charity" and "non-profit" doesn't mean shit, anymore, apparently.

BarryOPotter March 17, 2011 at 8:37 am

The people who dreamed up "Market Based Management"(TM) principles are the same ones for whom the fucking wheel is just not god damned round enough.

bagofmice March 17, 2011 at 10:13 am

That's why you get the legislature to adjust accordingly. Yes, I appreciate the irony of the link.

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 11:26 pm

It's why I hate these guys, so much. Not only are they not adding value, they are taking it away.

LesBontemps March 17, 2011 at 9:21 am

"Charity" and "non-profit" doesn't mean shit, anymore, apparently.

Yes they do; they mean "tax exempt."

Jim89048 March 17, 2011 at 11:37 am

Yeah, like NPR and PBS.
Wait, what?

straighteight March 17, 2011 at 3:01 am

Sweet merciful fuck, look at those pale homunculi. A cube-farm full of carbon copies of those two bickering weasels in that C-SPAN video that made everyone sad and nauseous.

Of course, these basement-dwellers went right from college to the beginning of a life-long career on wingnut welfare, which is far better than I've done since I graduated with what I assume is an equally impractical degree. I'm probably the same age as some of these people and yet I couldn't feel more distant. On the plus side, I do a lot of volunteer work for less fortunate people and animals, and I'd like to think I have a strong sense of ethics and a commitment to being the least selfish I can be in this vulgar country. So maybe it all works out.

Dashboard_Jesus March 17, 2011 at 3:11 am

teehee, you said 'pale homunculi'…I don't even know what that means but it made me snort Guinness out my nose…

ttommyunger March 17, 2011 at 11:23 am

Pussy! (at least that's what they would call you)

PhilippePetain March 17, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Yeah, Pale Homonculi is basically the best Psychedelic and name this side of the 13th Floor Elevators.

BarackMyWorld March 18, 2011 at 12:08 am

"wingnut welfare"

I'm borrowing that.

twoeightnine March 17, 2011 at 3:06 am

So much talking and yet nothing is being said.

Oblios_Cap March 17, 2011 at 8:50 am

It is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Beowoof March 17, 2011 at 9:52 am

Its the special Palin/Bachman training they are receiving that lets them accomplish this feat.

OneYieldRegular March 17, 2011 at 3:45 pm

It's like taking that Tom Cruise Scientology interview and playing it backwards.

twoeightnine March 17, 2011 at 3:08 am

Also, I see white people. Also.

straighteight March 17, 2011 at 3:14 am

Clearly you didn't see the black female shoehorned in there. Diversity!

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 4:14 am

Yeah, I caught the female Carlton Banks.

HistoriCat March 17, 2011 at 9:29 am

The Herman Cains of the future gotta start somewhere.

twoeightnine March 17, 2011 at 11:46 am

Oh I did. Roll that "B-roll."

arihaya March 17, 2011 at 3:20 am

i have no problem with dumb, young libertarians ,,, especially the pretty one,, you know what i mean

Extemporanus March 17, 2011 at 5:50 am

You're turned on by pretty, Rand-dumb women.

SayItWithWookies March 17, 2011 at 3:25 am

Look, a new right-wing networking program for people who thought Regent Law School was too hard. And a fresh crop of idealistic young idiots to blow tomorrow's Newt Gingriches. Or even today's for that matter.

bflrtsplk March 17, 2011 at 3:25 am

Well, at least there's one "person of color" in 4:22 of nonsense. At 2:13, the blond looks to be typing the umpteenth reply to her stalker ex-boyfriend. That's all I can find.

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 3:42 am

2:55 is good just for the awkward creepiness.

Hatrabbit March 17, 2011 at 3:28 am

Those poor dumb fucks.

Extemporanus March 17, 2011 at 3:59 am

"Oh, and remember: Next Friday is 'Purple-Shirted Thug Day'.

So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a purple shirt and jeans."

Fukui_sanYesOta March 17, 2011 at 4:25 am

"Sooo, Logan, how's it going? Yeeeeaaaahh, I'm gonna need you to come in on Saturday. Oh, ah, I almost forgot…I'm also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too. We, uhhh, discovered a new trove of poor people this week and we sorta need to play whack-a-prole. Mmmmmkay? Thaaaaaanks."

Beowoof March 17, 2011 at 9:53 am

I thought you had to be in a union to be thug in the minds of these folks.

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 4:17 am

One thing I'll give them credit for: They've done a helluva job hiding their lobotomy scars. Though, maybe they just do it the ancient Egyptian way, you know, through the nose. Then you don't have to worry about unsightly cranial scars.

gef05 March 17, 2011 at 7:21 am

With this lot it would be more efficient out the arse. Why go the long way round?

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 7:30 am

Ha! So true, so true.

mavenmaven March 17, 2011 at 4:25 am

And what are the requirements?
from this video, the 2 requirements are:
1. frequent usage of the filler "uh"
2. cleavage

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 5:47 am

You just stated the requirements for employment at Fux News.

HistoriCat March 17, 2011 at 9:30 am

There is nothing wrong with cleavage.

superdave March 17, 2011 at 10:48 am

Damn you! Enticing me to watch the video with cleavage! Too much douchebaggery, not enough cleavage.

bumfug March 17, 2011 at 4:28 am

Holy Jesus, is Tru TV holding open auditions or has the nuclear waste from Japan just scooted over here way quicker than we feared?

ShaveTheWhales March 17, 2011 at 4:51 am

I'd say that "Oh, for fuck's sake" pretty well captures the ambience.

Seven0f9 March 17, 2011 at 5:25 am

Everything about this is nauseating –the phony optimism of the soundtrack; the trite, empty, and cliche expressions; the pasty, doughy faces…

I never could work in an office like you see these people in. I could never stand those over air conditioned, windowless structures. I always feel myself tense up. That's the way I see people like that–tense. They probably feel that way too, but they don't have sense enough to get out.

SudsMcKenzie March 17, 2011 at 5:27 am

So my local food bank needs better marketing, …. got it

Fukui_sanYesOta March 17, 2011 at 5:29 am

The MBM doctrine:

These people should mine coal for you eight hours a day in order to earn a bowl of watery turnip soup. That's the free-market way, my friend.

BarryOPotter March 17, 2011 at 8:45 am

A-f'ing-men. Earn to appreciate it. These are the types that will never learn how to assess a situation from a viewpoint different from their own narrow one, or realize just how useful that skill is when the time comes to fuck over some ignorant 'free-market libertarian.' So, I'm cool with this…

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 5:50 am

Exactly. These are parasites. They'll do anything to suck funds out of a system to transfer to their overlords whilst the overlords flick pennies at them in their general direction. What a bunch of whores.

Come here a minute March 17, 2011 at 5:33 am

This must be one of those "I can't find a job so I'll work for free" jobs.

The_Great_Gazoo March 17, 2011 at 5:40 am

We really have to find the Continuum Transfunctioner before they do.

Fare la Nippon March 17, 2011 at 5:40 am

Dumb Young Libertarians

Redundant.

Fare la Nippon March 17, 2011 at 5:46 am

Boy oh boy! Conformity never looked so damn cool!

These are the kids who grow up dreaming of becoming accountants.

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 5:52 am

If by "cool" you mean "early 90's pyramid scheme" then yes, this is "cool." Damn "cool."

Oblios_Cap March 17, 2011 at 8:58 am

You know the difference between Accountants and Actuaries?

An Accountant will look at your shoes when they're talking to you.

MarcelleMarceau March 17, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Only without the accounting and economics.

pinkocommi March 17, 2011 at 6:14 am

Q: Why do libertarians wear neckties?

A: It keeps their foreskin from riding up over their head.

Thank you. Thank you. I'm here all night….

Dr_pangloss March 17, 2011 at 6:28 am

All the colors of the rainbow, from eggshell to ruddy pink.

Why do these folks sound more like cult members than business people?

The Liberty Movement? Ugghhh….

neiltheblaze March 17, 2011 at 6:59 am

The Kochs set up a big-ass cancer institute at MIT – but personally I think it's a big front to disguise their real work on their patent-pending death ray that will only kill liberals.

But then I see this video and realize these dead-eyed boneheads couldn't organize lunch. If that's the level of the opposition, they can obviously be fully re-programmed in the FEMA camps.

glamourdammerung March 17, 2011 at 7:03 am

One of the Kochs has prostate cancer.

Though I think that my opinion that they are merely wanting to patent treatments for the cancers they are responsible for giving folks in some kind of ultimate expression of unfettered capitalism is correct as well.

neiltheblaze March 17, 2011 at 7:05 am

So – no death ray, huh?

glamourdammerung March 17, 2011 at 7:10 am

Note I did not say that there was no death ray.

Though I think they would be more likely to use one of their "non profit" scam groups to work on it. And it would have to have an apt name like "The Not Working on a Serf Killing Death Rays for Freedom Foundation" .

Fukui_sanYesOta March 17, 2011 at 7:45 am

"Feudal-Fries"

WriteyWriterton March 17, 2011 at 10:26 am

Unfettered capitalism would not include a patent system. Fettered capitalism, on the other hand, lurves patents.

Not voting for former, just saying it's system where everyone can exploit anything – economic Darwinism.

mumbly_[redacted] March 17, 2011 at 7:18 am

There is the thing where one of the Kochs does have cancer, but also something to keep in mind is something very simple that I learned way back when I temped at a Trusts and Estates law firm for a few months, which was this:

Philanthropy,
a) comes with a whole host of perks for being a significant donor, even in organizations that like to pretend that it doesn't, but especially when it comes to arts patronage, and
b) is mostly strategic and aimed at minimizing the patron's tax burden, full stop.

Needless to say, I was much relieved when I left that job and started a new one doing something far more worthy than helping the super-rich keep as much of their money as possible.

Gorillionaire March 17, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Why did they have to set up a cancer center? Isn't the awesome free market American health care system supposed to do this on its own, because cancer is so marketable and shit?

gef05 March 17, 2011 at 7:04 am

I thought social engineering was only in the purview of the socialists.

My bad.

mumbly_[redacted] March 17, 2011 at 7:08 am

And yet, financing political efforts to use force of law to dissolve unions or restrict their operation is neither free market nor limited government, as particularly evidenced by the fact that people keen on union-busting often couch it in terms of "non-discrimination", whilst also opposing actual non-discrimination efforts elsewhere as anti-free-market.

Seriously, who do we not call out people who use these words to mean "things that make people with money happy" and thus include some of the most egregious examples of corporate welfare and use of the tax code to influence behavior? We really need to stop letting people pretend that "right wing" is automatically "limited government", by default.

Oh, yeah: even more hilarious, one of the latest trolls/sockpuppets/serial downfisters who's following us all? "UnionsRStreetGangs"? Has a profile that says, "Boycott union products and services whenever possible. Unions internalize all profit and externalize all costs." Yeah, wow, that only describes every business ever. Why does he hate business?

gef05 March 17, 2011 at 7:15 am

"Unions internalize all profit and externalize all costs."

ROTFLMAO

Read: Business 101

Fukui_sanYesOta March 17, 2011 at 7:33 am

It's jaw-dropping inanity.

There's an argument that shareholder-owned companies don't purely internalize profit, but that's specious and probably over our friend's head. It's a board decision / shareholder meeting to decide dividend.

No, I think Pointy-head McBreitbart is actually Joe the Plumber.

glamourdammerung March 17, 2011 at 7:41 am

Oh, yeah: even more hilarious, one of the latest trolls/sockpuppets/serial downfisters who's following us all? "UnionsRStreetGangs"?

That is the same serially trolling clown that claimed Gifford's shooting was arranged by Democrats to make teabagging nutjobs look bad. They just changed their display name.

And when Exxon-Mobile, the world's most profitable corporation, pays zero federal taxes, I would say there is some externalizing costs going on. And it is not being done by those evil unions.

x111e7thst March 17, 2011 at 7:19 am

Is it better to be a right wing billionaire's whore in the air-conditioned comfort of a charitable foundation than to suck cock for between $5 and $15 in a truck-stop bathroom? The jury is still out..

neiltheblaze March 17, 2011 at 7:27 am

Well, at least the truck-stop blowers provide an actual service.

BerkeleyBear March 17, 2011 at 9:43 am

You can shower off later at a truck stop – when you whore your soul to the uber rich, the taint never washes off (since it is largely made of non water based lube and Santorum).

Ducksworthy March 17, 2011 at 9:47 am

Morally the truck stop job is superior, orthopedically they're equivalent. Both hard on the knees.

valgal2342 March 17, 2011 at 7:23 am

Needs more AC/DC

freakishlywrong March 17, 2011 at 7:53 am

These poor culties are more disillusioned than Scientologists. Time to break out the L-meter.

Negropolis March 17, 2011 at 8:01 am

I tell you, I looked like a fattened hog I'm so stuffed with tasty thetans.

BaldarTFlagass March 17, 2011 at 8:03 am

"What's wrong with having it good for a change? Now they're gonna let us have it good if we just help 'em. They're gonna leave us alone, let us make some money. You can have a little taste of that good life too. Now, I know you want it. Hell, everybody does."

"You'd do it to your own kind."

"What's the threat? We all sell out every day, might as well be on the winning team."

Ducksworthy March 17, 2011 at 9:52 am

Oh Gawd. They Live!

Bluestatelibel March 17, 2011 at 8:10 am

The Cock brothers have done a great job of making robots look and talk like humans, almost fooled me.

BaldarTFlagass March 17, 2011 at 8:37 am

The T-X has an endoskeleton with built-in weaponry, a liquid metal exterior similar to the T-1000, and the ability to control other machines.

Poindexter718 March 17, 2011 at 8:37 am

Some of those young, doe-eyed kochettes are smokin' hawt!
This video has gotten me all Ayn Randy!

ManchuCandidate March 17, 2011 at 8:46 am

Political Officers by any another name would be just as fucking stupid.

powersuit March 17, 2011 at 8:48 am

Maybe Daddy will finally be proud of them now! Hopefully they can keep their allowance!

Also, whaddya bet the "instructors" are totally resentful that the Kochs aren't letting more of their billions "trickle down" into their salaries?

GregComlish March 17, 2011 at 8:54 am

By their own reasoning, nobody with a ideological Solid understanding of free-market principles would ever express a Strong interest in learning MBM® in the non-profit setting. Idiots.

BklynIlluminati March 17, 2011 at 8:55 am

Drone I mean slave no wait intern workforce!

Oblios_Cap March 17, 2011 at 8:57 am

The Atlas Ecomonic Research Institute. Shrug~

Having a degree in Econ, my take is that classical economic theory is basically a bunch of bullshit. That's what you get when you start with shit assumptions and ignore anything that doesn't support your ideology. Chicago School, I'm especially talking about you.

Ducksworthy March 17, 2011 at 9:55 am

A hearty upfist for that sentiment. Even economists who start our as decent human beings get twisted by repeated exposure to idiotic theories.

mumbly_[redacted] March 17, 2011 at 11:10 am

Honestly, I think the classical model offered some interesting small bits of nuance and refinement to Keynsianism, just as relativity added some nuance and corrections to Newtonian mechanics. The problem comes when theory becomes divorced from evidence entirely and you start misapplying the model and arguing that most real-life mechanics problems aren't basically Newtonian.

Honestly, though, this stuff is more Austrian-school of "economics"/"real business cycle" crap than even Chicago-school. I'm seeing a lot more Hayek and Mises here than Friedman and Ricardo, frankly.

GeneralLerong March 17, 2011 at 11:41 am

I like it when you talk dirty. Upfisted.

One_Man_Band March 17, 2011 at 11:23 am

And you gotta love how the current economic meltdown has done absolutely nothing to cause economists to re-evaluate the theories they champion. It's like it never happened. Hey, no need to let reality intrude upon our unproven, untested, or wholly discredited theories.

mumbly_[redacted] March 17, 2011 at 11:59 am

Clearly the massive unemployment proves that inflation might be a problem in the future, someday, maybe! Better not do anything about unemployment and lack of demand, then!

Also, it's foolish to turn on the heat in January, because eventually, it will be summertime, and you'll feel *foolish* for heating your home, just because of the actual temperature it was, at the time. Or you'll freeze to death. You know, either/or.

lulzmonger March 17, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Lysenko was a chump – he should've worked for the Fed or AIG.

lulzmonger March 17, 2011 at 1:33 pm

UNPOSSIBLE! Rumors that the Earth's diameter is not infinite are merely speculative externalities with no real relevance to our long-term growth outlook!

Ruhe March 17, 2011 at 9:03 am

Arrianne Massey looks like a young Steven Tyler. Is that snark? Is that a take that doesn't suck?

BaldarTFlagass March 17, 2011 at 9:10 am

Rack him!!

Also: "Dude Looks Like a Lady"?

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 9:07 am

No more than ten years work experience, please. So you won't have figured out how the world really works.

Selfish_T March 17, 2011 at 9:15 am

Looks like a fun crowd.

Doktor Avalanche March 17, 2011 at 9:18 am

Heh, you said Ballston.

Troubledog March 17, 2011 at 10:47 am

I have a dog named Ballston.

mereoblivion March 17, 2011 at 9:21 am

Get Rick Deckard. Now.

Chicken Beaver March 17, 2011 at 9:23 am

So what skills do these people have to make an upside-down mortgage go away for potential customers?

mereoblivion March 17, 2011 at 9:23 am

Shysters don't even say how long I'd have to work as an unpaid intern. In my case, also unlaid. (Sorta like Monica L: she was an unlaid intern, if you wanna get technical.)

ApplesauceRobot March 17, 2011 at 9:24 am

Riley must have forgotten to set his alarm clock.

PresBeeblebrox March 17, 2011 at 9:30 am

Holy god, this is the capitalist equivalent of Mormon missionary teams.

PublicLuxury March 17, 2011 at 9:40 am

Massey? Did her dad kill gobs of unsuspecting miners while practicing the deregulation of safety concerns in mines?

Da Bitch

An_Outhouse March 17, 2011 at 9:44 am

Is it all work, work, scheme or do they get to practice their golf game?

genxr March 17, 2011 at 9:49 am

Ladies and gentlemen, the future leader of Greenpeace. Save the whales, in a market-based way.

andy105 March 17, 2011 at 9:53 am
MayansWarnedUs March 17, 2011 at 9:57 am

Resistance is futile.

Weenus299 March 17, 2011 at 10:00 am

Charles Manson did this kind of recruiting.

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 10:30 am

Blonde wife of a creepy director better watch out, then.

Diane Sawyer, they're coming for you. The Koch Family will get you.

fuflans March 17, 2011 at 10:01 am

i wish i had seen this last night when i was still drunk.

Redhead March 17, 2011 at 10:03 am

"Army of Dumb Young Libertarians"

Well that's redundant.

Ducksworthy March 17, 2011 at 10:13 am

Sick smegma, also.

Gold_ManSacks March 17, 2011 at 10:13 am

I met a Koch Associate last weekend, oh, wait no, that was a coke associate.

catchtheflava March 17, 2011 at 10:17 am

Isn't this where OCP senior president Dick Jones trained?

schvitzatura March 17, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Yes, both Dick Jones and Vilos Cohaagen were Koch Associates.

genxr March 17, 2011 at 10:18 am

At least now our silent downfisty trolls can go learn how to form a proper argument.

randcoolcatdaddy March 17, 2011 at 10:29 am

Why am I reminded of the movie "American Psycho"?

crybabyboehner March 17, 2011 at 10:33 am

It's just a little thing we call "The Science of Liberty" …

mookwrthwilson March 17, 2011 at 10:47 am

MBM=Man-Boy Masturbation

MilwaukeeKent March 17, 2011 at 10:49 am

Simple-minded white males of my class like to size up everyone they meet with a metric of "Can I take this guy in a fight?" — it's right up there with thinking you need to drive an F150 (with truck nutz) to be a"real man".

I hate that corollary, but applying it here? These folks? No Problemoooo….

chidem March 17, 2011 at 10:56 am

The science of liberty is clearly anti-science.

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 2:21 pm

and anti-liberty.

mrblifil March 17, 2011 at 11:13 am

I had no idea there were also men who were incapable of orgasm.

NewYorkJew March 17, 2011 at 11:55 am

A cornucopia of platitudes!

My favorite: "It's ALMOST like taking graduate-level courses."

genxr March 17, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Riley needs to join this program. And take pictures.

DaSandman March 17, 2011 at 12:07 pm

"Liberty" being defined as discovering new ways to loot the working people…

loulouroo March 17, 2011 at 12:23 pm

The Whitest People You Don't Wanna Know have a "charity" for billionaires because it's HARD out there for a pimp! Koch whores in cubicles.

phlox✔ March 17, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Surely there'a better way to make money than being a coke dealer associate. That said, shouldn't these droning drones have a bit more energy?

GayInMaine March 17, 2011 at 12:36 pm

I think I'll go crawl into a bottle of wine now.

chascates March 17, 2011 at 1:03 pm

MBM = Making Business Master-of-World

lulzmonger March 17, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Arianne looks like a former Andy if you ask me. Also, good to see that being a Moonie never really goes out of style.

Let's see: get a non-degree working for a non-profit so you can get a non-paying non-job. Good move, kids! The thought of these Titans Of Industry ten or so years from now, desperately trying to sell styrofoam lawn-gnomes, edible panties & novelty dog-vomit online, warms my inky cinder of a heart to no end.

Egregious644 March 17, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Why government regulation is essential: when risks go bad, the consequences often fall on those who didn’t take those risks themselves.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/from-japan

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

these are the Knights Who Say No.

ttommyunger March 17, 2011 at 3:32 pm

True enough!

zhubajie March 17, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Will they be court eunuchs or jannissaries?

BZ1 March 17, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Do any of these zombies ever look into the camera; nope, it will steal their souls. Oh wait,…

Wsayscoupgood March 18, 2011 at 12:30 am

Well ridicule these geeks if you must and I don't disagree but these are the people being groomed for the future by the folks who have money. Unless we find similar financial support for a leftist point of view and create similar "think tanks" these clowns are the future Walkers of the world and just as we are now seeing the results of the reagan era showing up as members of congress in the future these animatrons will be carrying on the tradition of screwing the working class (if there is working class left we may have devolved to slave/indentured servant society once again in a few years time). So bottom line is this unless we reply to these geeks forcefully the sheeple who are now being led around by the limbaughs and hannitys will have a new crop of brainwashers who will lie the next generation down a road to desperation where the only out is ……well working for the Kochheads!

SilverFox March 18, 2011 at 9:46 am

Do you think they are aware that "non-profits," generally speaking, help people or a cause that are in need of it, not shill for corporatist scumbags under the guise of a public policy think tank? Anyone? Nah I didn't think so either.

Sparky_McGruff March 17, 2011 at 8:17 am

I' thinking that "Alleged Taints" would be a great name for a Ska/Punk cover band. Praise Xenu.

horsedreamer_1 March 17, 2011 at 9:05 am

As an Operating Thetan VIII, I take offense to that. But I would skank to it, also.

Pick it up! Pick it up!

Beowoof March 17, 2011 at 9:42 am

We have a local band in Rochester, named the Taint. One of the younger staff members at the local college had to explain to the olds why putting up lots flyers saying, "Come See The TAINT" was a bad idea.

GunToting[Redacted] March 17, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Or their metal counterparts, "Armored Taint."

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 5:04 pm

what about Blue Oyster Galt?

HistoriCat March 17, 2011 at 9:23 am

I'm willing to convert. Is there a ceremony or do I just announce my conversion to the world? When do we start abusing IRS regulations by politicizing everything in church?

bagofmice March 17, 2011 at 10:00 am

So, the Azteca next to work?

CliveWarren March 17, 2011 at 9:39 am

I'm already afraid to go into the confessional…

jqheywood March 17, 2011 at 10:17 am

Eeuuwh! Thanks for that mental picture. I will be scrubbing my mind for the rest of the morning

mrpuma2u March 17, 2011 at 4:28 pm

With their famous modified cover of Van Halen's "Taint talkin' 'bout love"

poncho_pilot March 17, 2011 at 5:03 pm

taint that a shame.

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