m-m-m-my sharia

Another Patriotic White American Saved By Sharia Law

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That CIA dude who shot those Muslims dead in Pakistan has been released! Yay. How did he do it? By following Sharia Law. Apparently, you just give the relatives of the people you killed a shitload of (U.S. taxpayer) money and blammo, you’re free (to kill again, for America).

How much does it cost, if you’re a CIA assassin held in a Pakistan prison for killing some Pakistanis? $2.3 million.

Welcome to the world of life and death in Pakistan where the Obama administration has paid “blood money” to spring a CIA agent suspected of two killings from jail on Wednesday.

Raymond Davis, a former Blackwater contractor, who was employed by the CIA in Pakistan, was arrested for the killing of two Pakistani citizens in Lahore on 27 January 2011. One of the men was shot in the back as he was running away. The US government first claimed that Davis was protected by diplomatic immunity under the Vienna Conventions. On Friday, US officials paid the two victims families a reported $2.3m; and Davis was released less than seven weeks after he went to jail. (Compensation to families of civilian victims of US-led coalition forces in Afghanistan amounts to a few thousand dollars per person, if anything is paid at all.)

[The Guardian]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Comments

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  • Come here a minute

    At least it's not creeping — that's the really bad kind of Sharia.

    • Steverino247

      Creeping Sharia produces lovely flowers in season. The worst kind of Sharia, botanically speaking, is My Sharia, a weed-like plant that grows in the deserts of Somalia.

      • Numbat_Dundee

        Naah. Sharia Palin is definitely the worst.

        • Negropolis

          I think you just gave Sarah/Bristol/Willow the name of their next bastard child.

      • WriteyWriterton

        There's a "My Sharonna" riff buried in there somewhere, but I won't play it.

  • PublicLuxury

    Sarah Palin screams, "Blood Libel!" What an insult to the families. 2.3 million, chump change in this economy.

  • http://wonkette.com Zvi_Bleindmeis

    I have not perpetrated usury on anyone today, or eaten pork products. These may become illegal inactivities in Tennessee soon.

    • tribbzthesquidz

      You'll have to not eat bean pies instead. No feet washing either! Go Vols!

      • WriteyWriterton

        Not if they beat my wolverines, squidz. Uh-uh to that.

  • LouBristol

    Ok, by my calculations it's gonna cost $12 trillion to fix the Afghanistan problem and $130 trillion to solve the Pakistan problem. someone get the memo to Rumsfeld.

    • mumbly_[redacted]

      Actually, you're being funny, but there's a real point here: at least part of why we're having trouble creating an Afghan security force to combat the Taliban? Because the United States does not pay as well as the Talban does. Think about that for a little bit, mull it over.

      • HistoriCat

        The really smart ones play both sides and get double payments.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Hopefully that family will invest that 2.3 million dollars in the stock market.

    • WriteyWriterton

      School vouchers. Or hobo-bean futures. I would definitely go long in h-b futures.

  • SorosBot

    Here the rich get away with murder by hiring high-priced slick defense attorneys; it's so much more civilized.

    • mumbly_[redacted]

      OR a team of lobbyists. Or both!

  • edgydrifter

    I'm sure the dead guys appreciate how much they're worth.

    • HistoriCat

      Their families sure do.

  • Chicken Beaver

    Wow. Raymond Davis got away with murder.

    So where's this NRA Platinum Fuck from, anyway?

  • el_donaldo

    So he's free, but now he can't get into Oklahoma or Tennessee? Eh. No loss to him I suppose.

  • harry_palmer

    If they're smart the family will get that $2.3 million in some stable currency, like goat hides.

  • MinAgain

    Welcome to The Price Is Right!

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    Wow, do the hedge fund managers know this? They could fly in on their private jets and spend their weekends taking out small towns for sport. You know, the masters of the universe need their fix, and economic destruction is sooooo 2008.

    • Tommmcatt

      Hell yeah! Literal baths in blood for everybody making over 4 million a year! They could upholster the seats in their Bugattis with human skin!

      If we're gonna have overlords we may as well do it American-style and let 'em go whole hog.

      • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

        By 2015, we'll probably be desperate enough to let them to do it here.

  • Chicken Beaver

    /snark

    From the Guardian article:

    Consider the case of Shane Bauer, a freelance journalist, and a good friend of mine. We worked together to expose US funding of death squads in Iraq. On 31 July 2009, he was arrested by Iranian border guards while hiking in Iraqi Kurdistan, an area I too have hiked in. Almost 20 months later, he is still a prisoner in Iran, where the US government has barely lifted a finger to help him.

    • SayItWithWookies

      See, it's an easy way to know the truth. The fact that he's rotting in an Iranian prison is proof that he's innocent. If he were guilty, he'd be free by now.

      • Chicken Beaver

        or rather, "We don't negotiate with turrists."

        • deanbooth

          We don't negotiate for tourists?

          • Chicken Beaver

            'parently not.

    • undeterredbyreality

      "We worked together to expose US funding of death squads in Iraq."

      I think that's your explanation right there.

  • BarryOPotter

    Hey, you libruls! Stop yer hating! All this shows is it pays to get got by the best. YOU ESS AY!

  • harry_palmer

    And so it starts. The wingnuts warned us we'd be paying reparations under Obama.

  • CliveWarren

    In the Criminal Justice System the Pakistanis are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The police who "investigate" crime and the moneys that replace dead relatives. These are their stories.

    Dun Dun!

    • horsedreamer_1

      The problem with Law & Order: Lahore is every episode ends the same: stoning.

      Get some new ideas, writers!

  • horsedreamer_1

    John Ensign is a prophet & I think you ought to listen to him.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      So are, apparently, the Koch brothers.

      • mumbly_[redacted]

        *Cough* Cheney.

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    If the bribe fits you must acquit!

  • V572625694

    It's disgusting enough, but it does help to recruit future mercenaries — uh, I beg your pardon, "contractors" — if the employer shows a willingness to rescue them when things get ugly. Think of it as workmans' comp for stone killers.

  • Redhead

    To be fair, if he was a Blackwater contractor, he probably consumed a fifth of vodka off another man's ass before deciding it would be totally rad, bro, to go shoot at squirrels or something. It's not like he meant to kill PEOPLE – he was too drunk to see what he was shooting at.

  • RedneckMuslin

    The US government first claimed that Davis was protected by diplomatic immunity under the Vienna Conventions.

    And then Obama remembered that ol' dubya threw out all conventions in Geneva. His face was so red!

  • Troubledog

    Under both Sharia and non-Sharia law, for example, lawyers work out a $2.3MM settlement with the victims' families to settle the suit, and the white guy would walk free.

    But under USA white guy law, from Jesus or whatever, the white lawyers then present a bill to the families for expenses consuming half of the settlement. From the half remaining, they keep 60% as their commission for taking it on spec.

    • WriteyWriterton

      Don't you be dissin' my bros and sisses. (I'm not a plaintiff-PI or class-action lawyer, but I play one on teh teevee.)

    • arihaya

      it will be too confident… the victims' family might also have to pay "informal" cuts to Pakistani policemen and politicians

  • hagajim

    $1.15 million for a dead guy…not bad. But even better, Sharron Angle is running for Congress….YAY! Seriously though….why is it that every time a shitstain appears in either Afghanistan or Iraq the name Blackwater comes up? Who do these fucks hire, a bunch of death row inmates? Jesus.

  • SmutBoffin

    Jesus, do you know how much weregild Dick Cheney must owe us? Not to mention what he owes Afghanistan. And Iraq.

    • undeterredbyreality

      And wergild has a much nicer ring to it than "blood money."

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, there are a whole lot of people I would like to see the CIA kill, and I only expect to be compensated $500,000/hit.

  • GregComlish

    I want my money back.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Hundreds of white trash families are trying to figure out where Pakistan is and how to drive there so they can trade in a couple of retarded cousins for cash money.

  • Hatrabbit

    Those Blackwater dudes are everywhere, they're like the Starbucks of slaughter.

    • MissTaken

      Ah shit, does that mean that Blackwater is gonna buy up Peet's Coffee, too?

  • Extemporanus

    This is what happens when one reads Soldier of Fortune from back to front.

  • ttommyunger

    So, how's that contractor-mercenary thingy workin out for ya so far, Barry?

  • arihaya

    according to my understanding to Islamic law,,, the murderer must "acknowledge and confess" for the crime,, and then ask for forgiveness from the family. After (and if) forgiven, he then pay blood money in lieu of sentence.

    but of course US State Department will write in their talking point that Davis is "acquitted" , and that he was "innocence" all along.

    Looking forward for "Raymond Davis' Show on Fox News"

  • Jukesgrrl

    Gee, I can't imagine what they'll do with the money.

    • tcaalaw

      Gold-plated TruckNutz?