Scheming frenemy Hillary Clinton tells the CNN people that she won’t be Obama’s secretary of state in his next term, assuming he wins, so this frees him up to nominate Sarah Palin or George Will or somebody. Really, Hillary’s jumping off the rat-ship … that’s what she told Wolf Blitzer, anyway. She’s a Clinton, so you could literally throw her farther than you could trust her, but Hillz says a big “No” when asked by the CNN muppet if she would serve again as Secretary of State. Then, according to the transcript, she barks off “No,” “No,” and “No” when asked if she wants to be vice president, defense secretary or Actual President. Great, we guess?
The interview will be broadcast on CNN this evening, so make sure to skip it! Here’s the transcript part, helpfully sent out by CNN:
Full transcript:
Q- If the president is reelected, do you want to serve a second term as secretary of state?
No
Q- Would you like to serve as secretary of defense?
No
Q- Would you like to be vice president of the United States?
No
Q- Would you like to be president of the United States?
No
Gripping! [CNN]
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Wath out Bill, Hillary's coming home to take care of you!
Quick, everybody look busy!!
Trust me, Bill is already getting busy.
Q- Would you say we have a coherent policy in Afghanistan, the Middle East and North Africa?
No. WAIT!
Sometimes the schaden just freudes itself.
I've been wondering since 1992 how she'd make her graceful exit from politics.
First Hil-Dawg, now Garrison Keillor! Too many people cashing it all in.
Sad to see her go. She's been a good soldier in spite of the venom she gets from both sides of the aisle.
LouHillary?
Doughy pantsuit?
She's a hard worker. That is probably why she wants to get out–too much hard work. If she took Sarah Palin's put a post Facebook page approach to politics she wouldn't be so tuckered out.
Flattering interpretation of her countenance. No?
Yes, but that's actually a picture of Secretary of State Camille Paglia.
Clinton looks like she enjoys being Secretary of State as much as I enjoyed working on a campground cleaning up dead fish from their pond. So, a lot.
A paycheck AND free fish? Elitist.
OT:
Jaaaaaaack, come home!!!
Wow, is there anything this woman doesn't "No"?
Wait….we're talking about sex stuff now, aren't we?
sometimes no means no
Shit?
Would you like to make hot monkey love on a 4×8 sheet of plexiglas?
Let me guess….
Would you serve in a house? Would you serve with a mouse?
Are you in love with Bill?
ans: NO!
Did you ever love Bill?
ans: NO!
Do you think Monica has a better technique than you?
ans: No.
Did you fuck George W Bush?
ans: Politically or literally?
Full transcript after the jump.
HAHAHAHAHA! You're cookin tonight, kid.
Well, this is the edited version of the interview: the actual quotes from Hillary are:
Q- Would you like to serve as secretary of defense?
Good God, no…
Q- Would you like to be vice president of the United States?
Hell to the no!
Q- Would you like to be president of the United States?
No–fuck no!
Q-Would you like to become a professional speaker and make five figures per speech?
Sign me up!
Fox News analyst contract is in the mail.
Would you like to rake it in as a "consultant" (aka lobbyist)?
Cha-Ching!
She'd actually already said this at least a year ago, but hell if the media won't keep pushing her.
We need posts *today,* not a year ago!
Yeah but it's not like you get the delicious clicky pageviewz from Hillary posts. And you already did your gratuitous Palin post for the day. Where's our Charlie Sheen nooz??!?!!!?!!?!
"Secretary Clinton: do you think that I'm going anywhere with this interview, that I'm not just whoring for air time, but am engaged in asking you meaningful question about the relevant aspects of your current position, that I look good with the facial shrubbery?"
"No."
Wolf Blitzer = 0.
Q-What's your favorite type of Japanese theater?
Noh.
Was your favorite Bond movie Dr., Dr., oh I forget …
No.
Huh? I always believed she preferred Kabuki. Just shows to go ya, Wonkette keeps on teaching us important shit every day of the Jap-wtf-theater-makes-mime-seem-entertaining week.
Well John Kerry can now bore other countries into a coma.
This is good news for people who aren't Bill Clinton . . .
Barry needs to appoint Hillary as Ambassador to Stanstanistan.
Q. Will you not take this post?
A: No.
Sucker!
I'm still waiting for someone to appoint Katherine Harris ambassador to Chad.
I see what you did there.
They'd probably hang her!
Gnus for Buchanan
Might be just what Pat needs to push him into the primaries…if nothing else he sure has experience running in primaries.
Looks like Sandra Day O'Connor and Conan O'Brien made a baby.
And she'd fucking win.
Q: When Jeebus comes will you be Raptured?
A: No
She wants Napolitano's job of Secretary of Full Body Scans.
Hey, doesn't this mean that Hillary can move back to Illinois and run for the Senate again?
Or is she simply going to start an all lesbian foreign policy advisory company with Condi Rice?
I thought Newt already did that. Newt's a lesbo, right?
Mayor of New York City.
How many years left on Bloomberg's (illegal) third term?
But which one'd wear the pants in the family?
There's a part of me that would love to see Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh appointed. They would quickly come to understand that they know a lot less than they think they do.
Either that or we'd all be dead in a global thermonuclear holocaust.
Win-win!
I would take up a collection to send them both to Talibanistan.
Sadly, that didn't work with George W. Bush, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Don Rumsfield, John Bolton, Alberto Gonzales, etc. etc. etc. etc.
"…Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh appointed. They would quickly come to understand that they know a lot less than they think they do. "
Optimistic little soul, aren't you?
They will never understand that.
Now that Palin's gravy train is ending, this opens up the opportunity for Hils to go on a speaking tour and do a stint on Dancing with the Stars.
What does the job pay? And does the benefits package include dental?
Would you like to buy a vowel?
No.
Would you like to ride the snake?
No.
Would you shoot this man if I told you you would not be prosecuted?
No.
Would you shoot this man if I told you you would be prosecuted?
No.
Would you undress for me?
No.
Would you like to get high?
No.
If I told you to jump off the Empire State Building, would you do it?
No.
The Golden Gate Bridge?
No.
The George Washington Masonic Memorial?
No.
Did he have sexshul relations with that woman? Miss Lewinsky?
No.
Are you awake?
. . .
She's probably going to work over at a liberal think tank like the WalMart Board of Directors.
She knows it takes more than a village to keep an eye on Bill.
What's with the picture of Roy Blatty and the "Time to make money" misquote of his "Time to die" speech?
Great fucking movie! Rutger's best effort, ever.
The good news is that they can now fill the job with an unpaid intern, which, strangely enough, is how John Bolton became Ambassador to the UN under Bush.
Plus, Bolton always swept up the floors with that push-broom stasche of his.
Q: Will pointless media speculation over Hillary running for President again ever end?
A: No.
Well we won't have Hillary Clinton to kick around anymore.
Um…wait…
Hillary in more carefree times
http://www.google.ca/imgres?imgurl=http://e-forwa...
Saddest picture I've seen since the last time I checked in on our Japanese sistren and brethren.
Do you still beat your husband?
When did you stop beating off your husband?
Have you stopped beating your husband?
What will become of us? Who will protect us from all these perils? We will be lost without her broad hips and sturdy kankles to protect us.
I was clearly and steadfastly on the Anti-Hill;Pro-Barry feud in 2008. Enough so that I even strained friendships.
I think she's served Barry well. No one will ever ask if a woman like Hillary has the 'nads' to be President or lacks 'toughness'. She is the most visible female democrat out there. Compare that to the Right's most visible female politician.
Anyway, I think she's more competent than most politicos, smarter, works harder and can be just as disingenuous as any male . Good for her.
And I don't count her out in '16, I don't care how old she is or what she says.
I'm dying to hear her dish on Oprah. And any autobiography she writes will make massive bank. So she retires for a few years, plays with the grandkids (once Chelsea gets knocked up), then comes back and runs for Governor of New York. Or gets appointed to the Supreme Court.
We kept two bumper stickers on our bulletin board, waiting for the end of the primaries.
My daughter had the honor of sticking the Obama one on my car, but I still have the Hillary one…
Duh! We all know in Clingon that no means yes…
Q- If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
No
Q- Do you think Randy Jackson is an adequate substitute for Simon Cowell on this year's Idol?
No
Q- Is Justin Bieber going to have a steady girlfriend by the time he's 30?
No
Q- How about having a girlfriend at all?
No
Q- So he and Clay Aiken aren't just really good friends then, right?
No
Is she quitting to become the second Hillary to ever climb Everest?
So she'll not run against the also not-running fatfuckchristie?
The lamestream media who-ers just can't get enough of Team Vampire v. Team Werewolf, can they?
Obama's not worried, he'll just get Kissinger to take the job.
Being SoS requires considerable travel, and since Kissinger is a war criminal he is subject to arrest in many countries. So yeah, let's send him to Vietnam, Cambodia, Chile, East Timor and a few other places.
Just so we can all stop humming "I Wonder Who's Kissinger Now"?
This is good. Not the part about her quitting. I like Hil.
See, if there is audio I can edit it put it on my digital recorder and play it when the dog raises his leg near the Ficus.
I hope she stated the No's firmly and loud.
Q: What's your favorite abbreviation for the word "number"?
A: No.
But seriously, folks, I think she's gonna make bank by working for Al Jazeera, the only real new organization.
She's been reading so much about all the benefits of unemployment and hobo beans that she decided she wants some. And, to identify with her base, also.
At least she doesn't seem to despise us as much as the guy who whupp'd her in '08 does. Or is it just we never got to find out?
But under the Republicants' new guidelines, "no" really means playing hard to get, so she really just wants Obama to try a littler harder to win her over before forcing her to be Veep.
Perhaps her answers were so brief because she had already answered 50 other questions about her hair styles over the years, and the obvious question about whether or not she really keeps Bill's severed junk in a jar.
"Air pinching" and raising them off the floor would be cool too. Though, I'd hope she'd save that one for Boehner.
Someone's had enough of the Kenyan Muslin.
Old Female Elephants Make the Best Leaders: http://news.sciencemag.org/sciencenow/2011/03/vid...
Noooo!!!!
Maybe she's concluded we're a nation of mental deficients no longer capable of self rule. There's plenty of evidence to support this thesis.
This is good news for John McCain.
Or Holy Joe Lieberman.
They tried to make her go to rehab, but she said…
That Wolf Blitzer sure knows how to get a "No." from the ladies.
The more you no…
Barry will never ask the old man with white hairplugs who keeps saying inappropriate things to be his running mate in the next election. He needs someone with Hillary's support base to pull him over the finishing line (although if Newt is the Republican candidate, he could prolly win with Anthony Weiner as his running mate). So don't count her out of the game yet.
If Newt gets the nomination, Barry can probably win with an Oscar Mayer (TM) wiener as his running mate.
Has anyone ever tried substituting "Hillary" for "Britney" in that YouTube guy's wonderful, tearful "Leave Britney Alone" rant? It works out almost perfectly.
Is it true that you're going to host a new "View"-like television show in 2012 with Ellen, Rosie, Condi, Sara Gilbert and Meredith Baxter Birney?
Yes.
Seems to me that Hillary now realizes that when Obama won in 2008, he was being handed the exploding cigar that the American economy was turning into shortly before the election. And, we all know how Hillary feels about cigars. Which is why Bill turned to Monica Lewinsky for help back in the day.
She has to do a good Force choke to make it believable.
Hillary has no comment about blood money.
No. No. No. No.
Poor Hils, the quintessential anti-fap.
Just wait for the books to come out from Regnery and the rest:
Hillary: She'll Do Anything to be President This Time!
How Hill & Bill Will Take Over the White House & America
Soros & Clinton: The Shariah White House
"HOW DARE YOU"
ask my husband
about 9/11
She's probably had enough of Wikileaks, Forever Wars, and trying to explain how we're happy the dictators we supported all these years are finally getting overthrown. Then, understandably, she felt compelled to make her Sherman Statement.
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