Even after all these years, sometimes the Internet just baffles us. From the Twitter page of bsfarrington, here is a painting of Jeb Bush with a Blackberry and four uncanny Candy Crowley elves:
UNSOLVED MYSTERIES
March 16, 2011
Political Wire
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{ 82 comments }
Dial it up, Ken. This is bad, but I'm not kicking out the chair yet.
when you are given the sublime, you make , er, sublimeade?
or sublimargaritas?
"subliminade"
/fixed
Hurray!
Ken is here to cheer us all up.
Tell us a story, Unca Ken!
Jeb Bush looks the the Campbells Soup kid, all growed up. And meaner.
Cream of Fetus Jar
Also, would rather have a Warhol-esque painting of fetus jars.
That mad little gem just made more sense than the eight years Jeb's numbnuts brother spent in the White House.
Looks like Jeb Bush has put on some weight recently. Like 100 pounds or so. Life after the governor's mansion must be good–or he is eating too much Candy.
Eating to console his depression brought on by the realization that his brother has spoiled their family name so he has no shot at ever becoming President.
2016 or 2020, baby. (Depending on whether there is a GOP incumbent in '16.)
Remember: 8 years after George H.W., there was W.
"he has no shot at ever becoming President. "
Well, aren't *you* the sunny optimist!
Americans' memories can't be that short, right? OK maybe I am over-optimistic here, and should never underestimate the stupidity of my fellow Americans.
Mike Huckabee was alone in the same room with Jeb, but instead of the Thing jumping on and infecting Jeb a la John Carpenter, Huckabee's extra pounds did.
Ms. Crowley does cover presidential politics at CNN – maybe it's a subtle hint of things to come.
Then again, maybe she's there to make Jeb look thinner.
I love the caterpillar on his lapel. Tasteful, but an understated elegance all the same.
I dunno. I'd prefer a painting of Sarah Palin and four dogs playing poker or a portrait of Michelle Bachmann on black velvet or best yet, Georgie Porgie W Bush in jail.
So all this time Candy Crowley's just been Jeb Bush's dick puppet? I never would have guessed.
When I saw the headline, I assumed the "mini Candy Crowleys" thing was just a joke, but no, that is literally what's there. Um, what the fuck?
Maybe dude has some kind of midget fixation, like Tucker Max.
I read it as "mini candy cowboys", which would have been infinitely preferable.
I think they'd make a cute couple!
Fivesome?
Jeb Bush weighs as much as four Candy Crowleys. It's like one of those puzzles in Highlights.
Yeah, except that he and W. are both Goofus.
Kind of has that paint by numbers look.
This picture proves it — Barbara Bush is just Jeb in drag. The resemblance is uncanny.
He can use those as a fan when it gets hot. Southr'n girls don't sweat; they glisten. Bless her heart.
The beady eyes are the "tell." Kinda like the protuberant lower lip of the Hapsburgs. Also, the low IQs.
Did the drugs they found yesterday at the Kennedy Space Center belong to Jeb's daughter Noelle?
Or JEB's girlfriend-beating son.
The Next George. Or as I am sure he will pitch himself when he runs in 2028, to appeal to the browns that the Kansas Helicopter Rifle Squad hasn't taken down, 'Jorge'.
The artist perfectly captures Jeb's Bush-eyes. It's uncanny. They don't follow you anywhere.
Stay classy, Jebby. Remember, Babs always said you were "the smart one."
Relatively speaking, he may actually be.
The smart one is Jar Fetus Bush.
"Smarter by comparison" is definitely a type of smart.
"it or not, . . ."
Um, not.
He may be running, but he's got to shed himself of that Latina wife to satisfy the Teabaggers (read racists). Maybe she'll get cancer and he can fuck out on her while she's in treatment and have her served with divorce papers when she's hospitalized. Worked out OK for Newt, so far. Not just one, but TWO flag pins, I notice. The second one looking suspiciously like the fabled "Stars and Bars". Go Jeb, your namesake is counting on you!
Not necessary to dump the wife–they'll just try and use the wife to pull Hispanics to the Republicans. Racists don't hold ultimate veto power. If they did, Babu Soetoro wouldn't be putting up his feet at that White House now.
Maybe he'll give her the Lemme treatment.
This is just the Bushes rubbing another prank in Walnuts!'s face: it's the Panamanian strong-man's Blackberry.
Well, hell. I thought you were talking about real candy.
All of the Bush kids should join their father H.W. on his next parachute jump.
I volunteer to pack them.
Jeb looks vaguely piggish, but satisfied…..but Candy stares on disapprovingly.
Was that Jeb or was that Vincent D'Onofrio playing Jeb?
I blame Thomas Kincaid.
The national portrait gallery will hang anyone nowadays. Phone them up.
I truly didn't believe there could be such a thing as a mini Candy Crowley.
Right? Yesterday was oxymoron day and no one even submitted "Mini Candy Crowley" as a possibility.
I give out mini Candy Crowley bars to kids at Halloween, scares the bejeesus out of them.
"How did this 87th generation new england preppy shitbag wind up looking like a typical inbred pig-eyed pigfucking klansman?"
*fans prommie with palm leaves; brings tray of umbrella drinks*
Why thank you! How did you know what I like?
I bet it only take a half a Candy to hide his dick.
Regression to the mean?
I clicked through hoping to find a picture of Jeb Bush holding tiny sugar statues of Aleister "The Great Beast" Crowley. Somehow, that seems to make more sense than the actual results.
Now we know what Gort looked like under the suit.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gort_(The_Day_the_Ea...
I like that the portrait includes a blackberry in the background. That way in 400 years when this gem of artistic talent is hanging in the Koch Brothers Portrait Wing of Cock Suckers admirers will know it was during the 2010s and not the 1990s.
Fuck Jeb Bush.
No, don't; he might enjoy it!
His likeness has a definite "Dear Leader" vibe to it.
http://tinyurl.com/4pke4nz
I have a hard time holding the concepts "mini" and "Candy Crowley" in my head at the same time.
Isn't a mini Candy Crowley an oxymoron….kind of like jumbo shrimp?
Fernando Botero's work is awesome, but why not the full-length portrait with rotting oranges and cigarette butts at Jeb's feet?
If this painting didn't exist we'd have to invent it.
Jeb is so pissed that he wasn't the Bush elected to bring the nation to its knees. Well, at least the second one.
Your comments are ineffable, as in "how the eff does she do it?!"
You look at something and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind when you see it. Unless you are in an elevator. That's a "think it, don't say it" moment.
My favorite touches? How the painter included a picture-within-a-picture of his family, and the cell phone on his desk. Classy.
Prommie owes me a new wireless keyboard after I blew iced tea from laughing so hard. Prommie is a beautiful person.
I particularly like "new england preppy shitbag.." Eloquent yet so accurate.
I see Jeb, but where are the bite-sized Aleister Crowleys?
BTW, I think the politically correct term is "Fun-sized Candy Crowleys," you guys.
yes
Kids, if a creepy ex-governor ever offers you a little Candy, do not accept it.
Instead, scream "STRANGER DANGER!" as loud as you can, and then run like hell in the direction of your ol' Uncle Extempor's idling black van.
Try and look at both of Jeb's eyes. A difficult task, I know. They seem to cross.
I was hoping it'd be four Aleister Crowleys.
That face looks like it was painted by the same guy who did the Kim Jong Il portrait.
it's all over for the bush dynasty
Candy Crowley ZNN
four reasons why
Now featuring Candy Crowley as reactors 1 through 4…
But shouldn't those Candy Crowleys be much bigger?
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