A grotesque 68-year-old car salesman, Republican “young gun” (?!) and failed Senate/House candidate from Ohio has been charged with “three felony charges of gross sexual imposition, and single counts of kidnapping, abduction, solicitation, and menacing by stalking.” Tea Party-endorsed Tom Ganley allegedly attacked a woman from Cleveland and stuck his hands down her pants after she refused his sexual advances, at a car dealership, where she was having her car serviced. During his campaign against Congresswoman Betty Sutton, Ganley redundantly described the sex-crime allegations against him as “lies, slander and false” and then helpfully explained that his victim was a Democrat, even though she’s a teabagger he met at a Tea Party rally. And then he threatened to sue his opponent when even more women came forward claiming that Ganley committed sex terribleness against them.
(You can do your own “whoa, a Republican guy sexually assaulting a woman?” jokes in the comments. WE WILL STICK TO THE NEWS FACTS.)
The Chronicle-Telegram reports:
Thomas Ganley, the millionaire owner of several auto dealerships who unsuccessfully challenged U.S. Rep. Betty Sutton for the 13th Congressional District, was indicted by a Cuyahoga County grand jury on seven counts …. The charges stem from an accusation dating back to Aug. 1, 2009, when a 37-year-old woman took her vehicle to be serviced at the Ganley Chevrolet on Lorain Avenue in Cleveland. Ganley, 68, of Brecksville, reportedly invited the victim into his office where he solicited her for sex and had sexual contact. Afterward, prosecutors say, he made several menacing phone calls to her.
Wow. So this happens, in America? You take your shitty Chevrolet to the dealer and the “millionaire owner” tries to rape you? Just because you met him before at a, uhh, Tea Party rally? We have heard all about being fucked by the dealership’s service department but this is a whole new level of pig. How did this guy not win his election and become the House Majority Leader?
Oh yeah, and Mr. Tea Party Capitalist sold 874 cars through Obama’s socialist Cash For Clunkers federal welfare-to-car-dealerships program. [Cleveland.com/Chronicle-Telegram]
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Wait a minute here… the victim was a wo, wo, woman???
Yeah and one without a penis like Chris Lee.
Just wait… I'm sure one will pop up at some point in this story.
Don't rush to judgement on the penis issue, it's still early…
Thomas Ganley (D-OH)
Fox news just updated their graphic.
Truly, an Homer Simpson moment.
That's why he lost his election, duh!
…but maintained his ERECTION!
Hah!
Gawd, I crack myself up.
She's half his age… scandalous! (Insert lube job joke here.)
Needs more santorum.
… Cum on Down!
True colors are showing!
Hey, baby. Saw you checking out my government bailouts. How about I sign you up for my stimulus program? I call it No MILF Left Behind.
That's quite a jobs package you have there, big boy.
Les' get down to bizness.
All because I couldn't help admiring your earmarks, sugarpants. You gonna back that thing up or should I push up on it?
whatever you want. just stop kicking the tires.
Yeah…no, that's how a sleazy Democrat like Jeff Green might come onto a woman. A wingnut would use something along these lines, "Hey you inferior, shouldn't be votin' emotional broad…yanna come into ma shinin' city on the hill so I can show you 1,000 points of light? I'm just tryin' a practice ma luv here, don't be hatin' me fer ma freedumz, it's not fair and balanced to leave meeeeee! Oh no, she left…guess I need ta give ma Gingrich a Death Panel fer tanight"
in fairness, it was a lease with an option to rape.
This is clearly the woman's fault, as she asked for the total service package.
That's exactly why I always check the "Rape" opt-out box on the sales agreement. Sure, the sales manager will tell you if you opt out of that one that you'll automatically be opted out of the free quarterly windshield wiper fluid refills too, but that's a small price to pay, IMO.
"three felony charges of gross sexual imposition, and single counts of kidnapping, abduction, solicitation, and menacing by stalking.”
He lost? He sounds completely qualified to be a GOP congressman.
Really with Chris Lee back to cruising for Tranny's in Buffalo this guy would fit right in.
Buffalo is closer to Cleveland than NYC…
I prefer the missionary imposition.
"Gross" sexual imposition because he's 68 years old. That's definately gross…
Meanwhile, at 68 it's no longer a "Young Gun" – no matter how many shots he thinks he has left in it.
At least he didn't get caught crapping in his diapers with a hooker. Oh, wait, that would have qualified him for a GOP Senate seat.
I thought the House had settled all this. Rape no longer exists. There's just consensual sex and "playing hard to get."
Gosh, usually they wait until they hand you the bill to screw you.
The Tea Party: Giving America's Felons and Molesters Something to do Since 2009!
Yes, and corporate criminals like Rick Scott latched right on like lice to a teabagger. What I find hilarious about teabaggers is you can be a corporate criminal, or discharged from the military for committing a war crime but so long as you call Obama a "Kenyan" and recite the old assed talking points…your past doesn't matter; pathetic and yet, completely keeping in with authoritarianism….
Its all democrap lies. Millionaire teabagging car dealers don't have to rape anyone. Oh wait. She wasn't grossly obese and riding a scooter? Well maybe I'll have to reconsider.
What kind of multimillionaire is so lame that he can't buy the necessary votes to get himself "elected"?
I weep for America.
"was indicted by a Cuyahoga County grand jury on seven counts"
At least he didn't set the river on fire, again.
City of light / city of magic
Jesus, first their river catches fire, now this choad. Will the suffering of Cleveland never end?
You forgot Drew Carey.
They do have Kucinich's hot wife.
Just another republican who thinks his check book makes him a stud. Yet he is just another dud with cash. I guess when he is convicted and sent prison he will understand completely how his victim felt. One can hope.
Rich criminals don't go to prison.
Some of the more heinous ones go to "prison."
aka Club Fed.
"Oh yeah, and Mr. Tea Party Capitalist sold 874 cars through Obama’s socialist Cash For Clunkers federal welfare-to-car-dealerships program. "
How many of them were actually made in the USA?
All of the clunkers were made in the USA!
That's what happens when you refuse the undercoating.
Obama/Ziebart 2012!
Well once in jail, he'll get to learn how real republican sex offenders are expected to behave.
My weapon of choice is Car Lot Sex
Sounds like a new TLC reality show.
sarah palin's cleveland?
or sarah palin's car lot sex…
I believe he is a man who knows self service well.
Some clarification on the Cleveland.com site. "This can't be politically motivated… The woman who brought up these charges is a Republican, who wanted to VOLUNTEER for this guys campaign. Obviously, Ganley is guilty and his high priced attorneys can't come up with a better excuse!!!"
Uh, did you miss the part where the woman met him at a Tea Party rally? Maybe I should put that higher in the post … haha, nobody reads anything past the "more," do they?
We assumed she went to laugh at them all. You know, like 90% of people who attend these rallies.
I thought the red text was hipster irony or something. like the 874 yugos under the commie program. that was a joke too, right?
She was obviously a liberal plant, put there to make teabaggers look bad.
Just figured I would beat our troll(s) to stating it.
There's more to these posts than the alt-text? Whoah…
Needs moar "more."
To be fair, Ken, these days it can be pretty hard to tell whether something is your snarky commentary or the actual, not-exaggerated fact if you don't quote it directly.
I see you've played the Assange rape defense.
three felony charges of gross sexual imposition
Even the legal system thinks this man having sex is gross.
Today, we have all been imposed upon. Grossly.
I personally have a gross sexual imposition I'm willing to share, if you known what I mean.
A single glance at his rancid carcass tells the tale. I see that picture and I smell sadness, Witch Hazel hair tonic and gun powder.
I see he bought his hair at the same place as Frank Luntz and Rand Paul.
The taxidermist's.
Oh, but she was a Democrat, so it's all okay. Only Republicans are victims of anything. Ever.
"Gross sexual imposition." Ew. Sounds dirty. Was dirty. "Would you like to come back in my office and meet Mr Goodwrench?"
It's not the gross that gets you; it's the net.
I guess this means he is now finally qualified for congress.
He's so guilty, Mike Huckabee has already tried to grant him a pardon.
See, this is my kinda wonkette news. All this world endy stuff is just too grim. Sex crazed teabagger schadenfreude makes me happy almost as much as looking at kittens playing with balls of string.
The world must be really going to shit if a story about kidnapping and rape cheers you up.
yeah, sick right?
…a 37-year-old woman took her vehicle to be serviced at the Ganley Chevrolet on Lorain Avenue in Cleveland. Ganley, 68, of Brecksville, reportedly invited the victim into his office where he solicited her for sex…
This is the free market at work. Milton Friedman would be getting all teary at this point.
allegations? False, tricksy allegations
I've been raped by my car dealer before……but this sets a new standard.
Ganley Chevrolet. We're full service whether you want it or not.
In truth, these women are only pressing charges because they knew they were buying lemons, but the lemon party was taking it a bit too far.
I guess his truck nutz weren't polished or big.
What a shitbag. He got caught and if convicted, he'll probably weasel his way out of jail with probation. However, he'll be a registered sex offender, which should pretty much end his ability to run for another office.
Now if he was in Louisiana, he could hang with Vitter and be mayor of New Orleans while wearing a diaper.
"However, he'll be a registered sex offender, which should pretty much end his ability to run for another office. "
I don't know–he can do a lot of politickin' while he's handing out his notices to the neighbors.
A simple misunderstanding over the meaning of the word "teabagging".
Sir, I salute you. also upfist
"Mommy, how are Young Republicans made?"
"Well, first an old dude with money in a campaign account, uh, imposes himself on an idealistic young ally…"
To be fair, no self-respecting ghey would let that sad punum within a 10-mile radius of any cock, turgid or otherwise. I mean, the utter tragedy of that hairpiece alone is enough to send most of us running away in sheer horror.
Sadly, I was once less sophisticated about hairpieces and had one come off in my hand while I was being serviced, but not at a car dealership.
I enjoy how all the Republican sex scandal posts just have "Republicans In The News" as the mini-header. Like, "Lah-dee-dah, this is just another day in the Republican party…"
Cuz it's true.
The latest legal papers repeat earlier claims that Ganley gave the woman a $100 bill and told her to buy high heels, a thong and some lingerie "so she could sexually play along with him and his friends," and that he told her "he wanted her to be 'submissive' to him, and that he wanted to 'dominate' her and parade her around on a leash while his other 'play' friends watched."
$100 for "heels, a thong and some lingerie?" Man, this guy has no sense of what things cost these days.
That would explain the GOP budget, wouldn't it?
Here's $100, go buy yourself a new F-35 jet engine.
Evidently this wealthy sophisticated gentleman buys his "special women" their lingerie at WalMart. Don't they usually have wolves or Harley logos on them?
3 Wolf Moon is a perennial favorite.
Would bring new meaning to bark at the moon.
WTF, you can't buy a decent pair of heels for $100 let alone all the other stuff! I know cause my wife has about eleventy-hundred pairs of shoes and boots and not one pair of them was less then $100.
I WISH THIS STUFF WERE MADE UP BUT ITS NOT
I always thought a gross sexual imposition just meant farting during sex and not saying 'scuse me.
The woman was probably dressed like an 11-year old Texan girl—totes gagging for it, obv..
The mistake she made was telling him "I need a little work on my Hummer."
Good thing she didn't say she was in the market for a Ford Probe.
C'mon, people.
She was there to get her car serviced…
I guess the first question I have is: "What kind of pants was she wearing, such that the waistband would allow the fatfuck's fat hand to be forcibly stuck down?" Oh, and I imagine he was wearing his Sansabelts, just in case there might be any reciprocration.
Eew.
I know how you feel. My Uncle Rick wore Sansabelts every time he came to visit.
I trust that he's on the registred offenders list now.
Yep. And still sporting Sansabelts.
The Tea Party stands by the endorsement of successful businessperson Tom Ganley, who was so swept away by his passion for our Great Nation that he was helpless when the floozy slinked into his office wearing only a garter belt and CFMs and demanded sex on the roof of an idling Camaro. He now plans to spend more time with his family.
"an idling Camaro"
What other kind is there?
Had to go to urban dictionary or CFM's "the more you know"
100!!! I did it I got a 100 P!
Selfish bastard!
Don't want to make me go galt.
it's like getting 1K in frequent flyer miles. only by being sarcastic instead of a travel slave working for assholes.
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the
DiscoverySpeed ChannelWhat are the chances the victim's name is Carlotta?
#rimshot++
I find this report to be ridiculous. If the picture accompanying this story is an accurate likeness of the would-be attacker, the woman probably attacked him. That hair, that torn pocket of a mouth, that full, flowing skin beard! What a guy! Definitely Grade A Premium Man-Meat.
Oh Tommy! It's like you can see through to my soul!
Yes, my dear, and I sincerely wish I could not.
It was just a misunderstanding:
She said something about needing fluid drained, and he just assumed…
She said mounted and balanced, and he just assumed…
…look at the dipstick, and he just…
…ball joint…
…tighten nuts…
…rim…
Tranny?
She said check her points and….
68? Yeah–probably a big Cream fan.
"Hey now baby, get into my big black car
Hey now baby, get into my big black car
I wanna just show you what my politics are."
I clicked the clicky to read the article and there is currently a banner ad for "Gross Plumbing". I shit you not.
http://chronicle.northcoastnow.com/2011/03/15/tho...
Fellow wonketeers, I'm calling for a protest this weekend. Sunday afternoon let's all get in our cars and pull over to the side of the road and sit there.
Except instead of the side of the road let's do it in a nice cafe.
And instead of sitting in our cars, maybe we can find an open table on the veranda?
And instead of honking, let's order beverages and have some light conversation.
We're really going to show them this time. Imagine the sight of a cafe full of people on a Sunday afternoon. What will people think? Who's with me?!!>!
That'll show 'em.
It is crazy, but it might just work . . . .
Nice toupe on that guy. Surprised he can't get a date.
this is good news for the Cleveland Torso Murderer.
Tea Party-
endorsedengorged. FixedAll that, and have sex with him?? This woman struck GOLD and she threw it all away!
Look, some congressmen are rocket scientists who can beat supercomputers at Jeopardy, others are disgusting car salesmen group sex rapists.
How is it we as a country can't assemble a small group of 450 people out of a population of 300 million without ending up with an over abundance of airport-bathroom-tranny-blowing-wig-wearing-car-salesmen-rapists in the bunch? What is wrong with us? Do I want to know?
Votes go in, the most pathetic bunch of human losers come out, how can you explain it?
lack of public financing for campaigns?
Service goes in, service comes. Never a miscommunication.
Over-Ripe in Cleveland?
Over Raped in Cleveland?
Under-Groped?
It was an honest mistake…he was just trying to check out her teabag credentials.
Car dealer, eh? Is he Fond of Rare Dildos?
I Rend Sad Ford Fool?
Now THIS is comedy. For a minute there I was ready to throw myself in front of a bus.
I'm thinking this would qualify as sex by surprise, at least to him, if it had worked.
What a charming fellow. The tea-tard lady claims he wanted to parade her around in a thong or whatever, in front of his "friends" with a leash around her throat.
That sounds awfully Priest / Altar Boy to me.
Wait. He LOST?!
can anyone detect any chin on our tom up there?
Dude is 68, but his hair is much younger than that.
His Hitler mustache in the HuffPo pickup is out of control…
Lord, looks like Jim Traficant is sharing his stylish secrets with the rest of the scum.
Also, you have no idea how many people voted for this man. The yard signs were more prolific than the McCain/Palin ones. It was difficult driving through Brecksville, Parma and North Royalton without taking my car for a detour through some lawns. This pig fucker will suffer some consequences, but someone from one of those houses will take his place.
Hold it!!!! This guy lost?????
I'm sure it will be added to the scoreboard of political escapades –
http://www.care2.com/causes/politics/blog/isolate...
Jeez, that a long, long list and getting longer almost every day – creep city.
Yes. Well. Did he use force? We all know how those kinds of women want it hard and fast. He was just doing his civic duty. Get off this fuckers back. It was only ATTEMPTED rape for chrissake.
Looks like his foreskin is sticking out of his collar.
What the fuck is that unnaturally pigmented thing that went up there and died on his head?
If this was an alternative news paper, the next line would have been:
"Ganley, 68, of Brecksville, reportedly also tried to service the woman."
There are so many automotive jokes about "kicking the tires" "checking under the hood" "taking someone for a test drive", but as a classy Michigander, I'll leave it to others.
Oscar the Grouch would agree.
I guess she didn't go for the undercoating either.
And he seems like such a NICE GUY.
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