COCAINE FOUND IN SPACE (CENTER)

  say no to drugs say yes to tacos

CNN REPORTS:

NASA’s Inspector General’s Office says an investigation is under way after a white powdery substance found at the Kennedy Space Center tested positive for cocaine.

“Law enforcement personnel field tested the substance, which indicated a positive test for cocaine,” said Renee Juhans, an executive officer with the office.

“The substance is now at an accredited crime lab for further testing,” she said.

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Juhans said that 4.2 grams of a white powdery substance was found in a NASA facility March 7. She could not confirm where, at the Kennedy Space Center, the drug was found.

Scandal follows the Kennedys everywhere, even to space (Miami).

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58 comments

  1. Barbara_i

    Weed is prescribed for glaucoma. Maybe cocaine is being prescribed for the astronauts who have mistletoe. Hurts way more than gout.

    1. SorosBot

      Freud prescribed cocaine for depression, so maybe we should start investing our moodiest and most apathetic astronauts.

  2. Gopherit

    "Juhans said that 4.2 grams of a white powdery substance was found in a NASA facility March 7. She could not confirm where, at the Kennedy Space Center, the drug was found."

    If it was anywhere but on one of the astronaut's asses, I will be disappointed.

    1. LesBontemps

      Wouldn't cocaine at the Kennedy Space Center most likely be found at the Kennedy Space Brothel?

  3. SayItWithWookies

    Ha — you got me with that title. For a brief minute I was hoping this would mean Rick Scott could survive if we sent him into deep space.

  4. Barbara_i

    Oh, that's why they call him "Buzz" duh! Didn't need a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

  5. PsycWench

    “Law enforcement personnel field tested the substance, which indicated a positive test for cocaine,”
    Did this field test involve a straw or a rolled-up $20 bill?

  6. ManchuCandidate

    Movie Execubot 1: I have a great idea!
    Movie Execubot 2: This better be good after the whole Mars Needs Moms debacle /shudders/
    ME1: Wait for it… Space… Vice… with Drugs… In… Space!
    ME2: ?????
    ME1: Space Vice. Sort of Miami Vice, but in Space. Everyone will have stubble and wear pastel uniforms. We can hire Edward James Olmos. He was in Battlestar Galactica and Miami Vice. He'd be perfect.
    ME2: ?????? Are you high?
    ME1: No… um… yes.
    ME2: Coke is a hell of a drug! I think this is fucking brilliant!!! I think we can hire Michael Phillip Thomas for a pack of cigarettes and a bag of weed.

  7. jus_wonderin

    “The substance is now at an accredited crime lab for further testing,”

    Why do I see air quotes around "testing"????

  8. DaRooster

    “The substance is now at an accredited crime lab for further testing…”

    "Not one of them "Non-Accredited" crime labs…" like the one at my house… damn it.

  9. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    This must be Gabrielle Giffords' doing. Which means that the shooting in Arizona was not a psycho winger, but just her dealer.

  10. mereoblivion

    NASA and cocaine are sorta the same entity, no? Tons of money that could have been better spent on almost anything else gets wasted to create short-lived bursts of pseudodrama leading nowhere in particular and leaving everyone involved forlorn and confused about why we went and did that.

  11. lochnessmonster

    Whomever keeps leaving their drugs at NASA must have lots of cash…most druggies would make sure they know where their stash is.

  12. ttommyunger

    The Crime Lab released its report, and I quote: "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!! That is some killer shit!".

  13. Negropolis

    It's those illegal (extraterrestrial) alien drug cartels, I tell you. What with their death rays, fly saucers, and insatiable yen for human blood and all.

  14. PublicLuxury

    The guys in Mission Control want to fly high too. Back off them. They need their little pick-me-ups.

  15. MiniMencken

    This is part of my charity program, "Eightballs-for-Spaceballs." Nothing to look at here. Now, move along.

Comments are closed.