they hate us just because we kill them all

National Review Writer Accidentally Writes True Thing

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Even a broken clock jammed up your ass is right twice a day.This doesn’t ever really happen, so we thought the moment should be memorialized: Andrew McCarthy, the National Review/”Brat Pack” blogger, wrote a sentence that in its clarity and honesty is unlike all other National Review Online sentences: “What really increases terrorist recruitment is invading Muslim countries, killing Muslims there, and staying to try to build Western democracies.” The context? Who cares! We are not reading the whole thing because it will just be dumb, and probably about how Muslims could have American Democracy if they wanted, but they don’t, because they hate freedom and love sharia. Oh no, now we’re going to have to look and see if he actually wrote that, too … yep, he wrote it.

Ha ha sorry, Andrew McCarthy, but we cannot out-parody you:

They understand the principles of our democracy. They just don’t want them. Any democracy worth promoting is a democracy that runs afoul of key sharia-law principles.

3/14 Never Forget: National Review Muslim-Hater Andrew McCarthy wrote something true on this day, but it was submerged at the bottom of his usual dumb bullshit. [National Review]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • SorosBot

    If Muslims wanted democracy, they'd be rising up in revolution to try and force their countries' dictators out!

    • nounverb911

      Does this apply to union members in Wisconsin too?

      • Doktor[redacted]

        No. Those are totally different things.

  • SmutBoffin

    But if there is no one looking in the butt to see the clock, can it even be said to exist at all?

    • Kidneys4Sale

      Schrodinger's kangaroo watch?

      • BarryOPotter

        Some one should tell Schrody to remove his watch before upfisting – poo-jammed movements are a bitch to clean. Also, if you speak to him, remind him to put the cat out before bed.

    • riverside68

      Butt maybe after he gets out of captivity he can, with dirty fingers, give it to his son, Bruce Willis, who will grow up to be a boxer, and have to go back and get it on his way out of town and kill John Travolta on the shitter.

      (Yes it's true, I loves those Christopher Walken walk ons.)

  • GuyClinch

    Wow, that sentence is like spotting a gold ring in an open sewer.

    • Sophist [teadacted]

      No, it's like spotting a gold fleck in a closed sewer full of crocodiles located in a cave full of identical sewers on Europa. In an alternate universe.

      • Tommmcatt

        Plus, Katherine Jean Lopez.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Occasionally, there is a kernel of corn or a chunk of cashew in the turd.

  • bitchincamaro2

    You pretend to read the whole NR piece, and we continue to pretend to pay you, Ken. Win/win.

  • horsedreamer_1

    The Bush Doctrine only applies when a Republican is President?

    Talk about doctrinaire.

    • jus_wonderin

      Doctrine Aire. It's like Fresh Air, with less love for teh gheys.

    • Rotundo_

      IOOKIYAR (It's *ONLY* Okay If You Are Republican).

  • DaRooster

    "They understand the principles of our democracy. They just don’t want them…"

    Then they really must NOT understand and should be bullied into knowing how much gooder we are than them.

    • Oblios_Cap

      More like "bombed". Spare the bomb and spoil the Muslim.

      • chicken[redack]

        Funny how a forward-thinking Book of Revelation couldn't spot Islam, eh?

        • Negropolis


    • bikerlaureate

      Hold STILL. This is for your own good.

  • Beowoof

    Are you sure this is from a conservative republican? This makes too much sense. I can't read the whole article as everytime I read their drivel I wind wanting to kick the dog. And as you can tell from his picture in my avatar, he is just too sweet for that.

    • GuyClinch

      Please don't kick that dog. He's a good boy! Yes he is! SUCH A GOOD BOY!!!

      • Beowoof

        Which is why I never read NR cause he is a GOOD BOY, now I feel so bad for having thought about I have to run home and give him some snausages or maybe even his favorite, peanut butter.

        • starfanglednut

          He is very cute.

    • bumfug

      Same here, except in my case it would be spank the monkey.

  • Mahousu

    See, if we just invade Muslim countries and kill people, that's fine; sharia allows that. It's when we take that extra step and introduce democracy that there's a problem.

    Now I'm afraid to read his column, in case that's what he's actually saying.

  • joobajooba

    So if Americans can't have Democracy, and are forced to live under the yoke of a compound constitutional republic, does that mean Americans will all be recruited into the terrorist Muslin radicalism? I'm so confused.

  • Oblios_Cap

    He's obviously named after two of the awesomest Conservatards evah – Andrew "Come hither, Riley" Breifart and Joe McCarthy. He must be a lot of fun at parties.

  • SorosBot

    Andrew McCarthy's bitter because he hasn't had a hit since Weekend at Bernie's.

    • [redacted]Crusher

      Weekend at Bernie's was a hit?

      • SorosBot

        It was successful enough to have a sequel, in which Bernie was animated a zombie by voodoo (no, really), so sadly, yes.

    • bumfug

      Come to think of it trying to export American democracy to other countries is like dragging a dead guy around everywhere, pretending he's still alive.

  • nounverb911

    "They understand the principles of our democracy. They just don’t want them. "
    So sayeth the Koch Brothers

    • cheaphits

      And so sayeth Nuri al-Maliki and Hamid Khan Karza,.

  • chicken[redack]

    More turdery from the article:

    We should be having as little to do with Islamic countries as practicality allows, not getting ourselves ever more entangled — at least absent compelling national-security reasons.

    Does Libya have light sweet "national security reasons" or sour "national security reasons"?

    • jus_wonderin

      That wins me. Really.

    • sezme

      That's a crude joke.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I'm actually a bit surprised at the restraint we're showing vis a vis Libya. With Europe egging us on to do a No Fly Zone and all, we've … what? Sent one or two sternly worded memos?

      So far anyway. Maybe the oil companies just like the known known of dealing w/Q-daffy rather than the known unknown of whomever follows.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    But hey, doesn't Democracy run afoul of Moses' Law too, and just about every other "law" in God's Word? The US Constitution just makes a mockery of God's Law, particularly when it comes to punishments.

    • [redacted]89048

      But in the babble, isn't punishment referred to as vengeance?

  • MinAgain

    Why would anyone watching the U.S. think democracy was a good thing? Entirely too many voters are ignorant, overexcitable lemmings, and when they all start runnning off the same cliff together, the rest of us are swept along for the ride.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Democracy without (good, public) education is like taking flying lessons without learning how to land.

  • OkieDokieDog

    I said that from the very beginning of the Bush/Cheney Oily Christian Crusades against the Muslins!!

    Minus the other crap that dude said.

  • Chillwaver

    When you are a pathological liar, it gets to a point where you can't tell the difference between a lie and truth anymore.

  • PublicLuxury

    Who's Sharia?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I think that's what they call the wind.

    • proudgrampa

      That's the great song by The Knack. You know, "My Sharia."

    • SorosBot

      The female lead in West Side Story? Sharia, I just met a girl named Sharia…

    • [redacted]89048

      ♪♫How do you solve a problem like Sharia?
      How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?♪♫

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Jude Law's sister?

    • Negropolis

      She's this woman on the corner that I hear has mad skills in the oral arts.

  • JustPixelz

    Silly muslins, believing people cannot make laws that contradict religious dogma. No one in America believes in that sort of thing. Otherwise you'd have people calling the Ten Commandments the foundation of our legal system. Or saying government-run school prayers should be required.

    • SorosBot

      There could even be some people who want the big government power to force everyone to live their sex lives according to the ridiculous rules laid out in Leviticus and Deuteronomy; thank god we don't have anyone like that here.

      • jus_wonderin

        teehee. you said deuteronomy.

  • Pragmatist2

    If Muslims had democracy they would have free press and would have to put up the increasingly insane rantings of the prep school perverts at National Review.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Keeeeerist! How many Arabs do we have to kill before they get it through their thick skulls that we're there to help them!?!?

    • proudgrampa

      The beatings will continue until morale improves.

    • [redacted]89048

      Sometimes you have to destroy the village in order to save it.

    • HistoriCat

      We're blowing up weddings as fast as we can …

  • Come here a minute

    Ross Douthat also wrote something correct today, that we shouldn't invade Libya. I don't know what else he said, but it was probably stupid and I am certainly better off not reading it.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Maybe there's a virus circulating among the asshats?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Was it the usual Douhat thing?

      Something along the lines of "We shouldn't invade Libya because when an attractive drunk girl wants to touch my thing, I feel kind of icky, because I'm most likely gay and haven't yet come to terms with that?"

  • Blendergoathead

    He told the truth? Obama should fire that guy.

  • slithytoves

    Any democracy worth promoting is a democracy that runs afoul of key sharia-law principles.

    Just as the democracy McCarthy wants to promote runs afoul of the key principles of christianity.

  • ManchuCandidate

    A quick change… and it could apply to Teabaggers.

    "They understand the principles of our democracy. They just don’t want them. Any democracy worth promoting is a democracy that doesn't runs afoul of key capitalistic principles such as only rich people are worth protecting."

    • [redacted]Crusher

      I do the same thing with the anti-Muslim tirade e-mails that I receive. Just replace the word Muslim with Xtian and return to sender along with all the other recipients.
      Hilarity ensues!

  • SayItWithWookies

    The good news is that Republicans are never hypocrites, because hypocrisy implies violating a principle. And idiots like McCarthy (and all of the GOP leadership, at least) use principles not as inviolable bases for calculating how to interpret a situation, but merely as colorful costumes for their latest act of self-interest. Therefore no hypocrisy.

    • elviouslyqueer

      This. Even some of the NRO commenters are calling McCarthy on his BS about "loudly condemning Bush's statesmanlike gladhanding of Qaddafi." Although it's still abundantly clear that the NRO comment board is like RedState, only with a functional frontal lobe and slightly less anality.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Ladies and gentlemen: Politics in America, explained in one post.

    • Ducksworthy

      Colorful costumes…… Bravo sir or madam. So they really don't favor anal rape of children, they just pretend to, and pass laws promoting it, to please their base? OK. Somebody's gotta look out for the vile cretins among us. I guess.

  • Oblios_Cap

    O/T, but Lawyers, Guns and Money has a pretty thoughtful analysis of the state of Japan's reactor issues that's well worth reading.

    Shorter- the MSM is a bunch of sissy bedwetters. They must be Rethugs.

  • Oblios_Cap

    His cynical, bitter back…

  • edgydrifter

    Obviously he meant we have to kill all the Muslims when we invade their countries if we want to foil the terrorism recruiters. That way, their dead bodies will be able to enjoy all the benefits of modern western democracy.

    • [redacted]Crusher

      And send in the Mormons to convert the corpses.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Do you know the difference between an American and God?

    God doesn't think he's American.

  • Ken Layne

    I'll be here all week … literally, all week, one post after another. Jack went to Japan for some reason.

    • jus_wonderin

      Don't burn out Ken. Pace yourself.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And please make sure Jack knows he's not allowed to eat any radioactive sashimi.

      End of the week you're gonna be a burnout and we'll need him back.

  • mavenmaven

    I don't see how any of the Arab republics differed from Gov Rick Snyder's innovative form of "democracy".

  • proudgrampa

    I thought Andrew McCarthy was really good in Weekend at Bernie's. What? Oh. Never mind.

  • DustBowlBlues

    I think the Republithug neocons (and droopy Joe L) dropped the idea of Muslin democracy being a good thing when the Palestinians got some and, of their own free will, elected people we thought they shouldn't have. So the good old, democracy lovin' USA went back to punishing them in concert with our They're-Never-Wrong pals, the Israelis.

  • donner_froh

    That must have been from the special 3/14 pre-Ides of March Marxist/Leninist edition of National Review which will disappear at midnight.

  • glamourdammerung

    It was bound to happen at some point.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    If only the Founders had been wise enough to put up some sort of "wall" between religious laws and state laws when designing our system of government.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      Yes…and for these assholes, it would literally take a WALL, an actual, physical wall as a didactic tool cuz conservatards don't learn so well. Of course, 200 years later Gary North and Newt Gingrich would each write books (Newt plagiarizing and then lying about plagiarizing North's version because even Gary North has more imagination than that serial adulterer; oh, and Newt judging by his peanut butter cup habit and double chins is lazy) about how the wall was actually their artistic way of showing how Christianity wrote the constitution through divine osmosis…

  • fuflans

    this has been a day of republican photos from central casting.

  • hagajim

    Well…once in a SuperMoon…

  • imissopus

    From his daily column, "I'm Andy McCarthy, What's Your Excuse?"

  • Ducksworthy

    That's where I learned
    Little bunny Foo Foo
    Hopping through the forest
    Scooping up the field mice
    And bopping them on the head
    Down came the Good Fairy, and she said
    "Little bunny Foo Foo
    I don't want to see you
    Scooping up the field mice
    And bopping them on the head."

  • ShaveTheWhales

    "Unser Ding"?

    "Nos chose"?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "Cosa Nostra."

      Yeah, they definitely don't want that.

  • Redhead

    Even a broken clock is right twice a day/give a room of monkeys typewriters and enough time and they will eventually write Shakespeare, etc.

    • CUNextTuesday

      Ack. Should read all the way to the end before commenting….

  • CUNextTuesday

    I think this just proved a corrollary of he Infinite Monkeys Theorem: "An infinite number of conservatards hitting at an infinite number of typewriters for an infinite amount of time will eventually produce a random true statement."

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    Looks like ole' Andy somewhat sucked you guys in by making one reasonable statement before launching into a tired, bigoted same ole' "they hates us fer are freedumz!" shit wingnuts have been babbling since Dubya proudly declared it. For gods sake wingnuts, why does anyone pay these assholes to write this shit? Why not just create a program to spit out conservative talking points from circa 2002 ad nauseum for every issue? Not only are these assholes incapable of original thought (it's why they are conservative to begin with) but they're fucking BORING. I could debate this asshole by making my claims and his counters to my claims for him and he'd just sit there nodding approvingly; and this guy has a college degree…sad state of affairs, fellow libtards…..

  • Negropolis

    Even a broken clock jammed up your ass is right twice a day.

    Quiet, you! You may give kinky Republicans some ideas.

  • Negropolis

    Sharia sounds like a total bitch. Like the prima stalky, stabby ex-girlfriend you can't shake.