National Review Writer Accidentally Writes True Thing

by Ken Layne

Even a broken clock jammed up your ass is right twice a day.This doesn’t ever really happen, so we thought the moment should be memorialized: Andrew McCarthy, the National Review/”Brat Pack” blogger, wrote a sentence that in its clarity and honesty is unlike all other National Review Online sentences: “What really increases terrorist recruitment is invading Muslim countries, killing Muslims there, and staying to try to build Western democracies.” The context? Who cares! We are not reading the whole thing because it will just be dumb, and probably about how Muslims could have American Democracy if they wanted, but they don’t, because they hate freedom and love sharia. Oh no, now we’re going to have to look and see if he actually wrote that, too … yep, he wrote it.

Ha ha sorry, Andrew McCarthy, but we cannot out-parody you:

They understand the principles of our democracy. They just don’t want them. Any democracy worth promoting is a democracy that runs afoul of key sharia-law principles.

3/14 Never Forget: National Review Muslim-Hater Andrew McCarthy wrote something true on this day, but it was submerged at the bottom of his usual dumb bullshit. [National Review]

 
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{ 97 comments }

SorosBot March 14, 2011 at 3:12 pm

If Muslims wanted democracy, they'd be rising up in revolution to try and force their countries' dictators out!

nounverb911 March 14, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Does this apply to union members in Wisconsin too?

Doktor[redacted] March 14, 2011 at 9:22 pm

No. Those are totally different things.

SmutBoffin March 14, 2011 at 3:12 pm

But if there is no one looking in the butt to see the clock, can it even be said to exist at all?

Kidneys4Sale March 14, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Schrodinger's kangaroo watch?

BarryOPotter March 14, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Some one should tell Schrody to remove his watch before upfisting – poo-jammed movements are a bitch to clean. Also, if you speak to him, remind him to put the cat out before bed.

riverside68 March 14, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Butt maybe after he gets out of captivity he can, with dirty fingers, give it to his son, Bruce Willis, who will grow up to be a boxer, and have to go back and get it on his way out of town and kill John Travolta on the shitter.

(Yes it's true, I loves those Christopher Walken walk ons.)

GuyClinch March 14, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Wow, that sentence is like spotting a gold ring in an open sewer.

Sophist [teadacted] March 14, 2011 at 4:21 pm

No, it's like spotting a gold fleck in a closed sewer full of crocodiles located in a cave full of identical sewers on Europa. In an alternate universe.

Tommmcatt March 14, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Plus, Katherine Jean Lopez.

BaldarTFlagass March 14, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Occasionally, there is a kernel of corn or a chunk of cashew in the turd.

bitchincamaro2 March 14, 2011 at 3:15 pm

You pretend to read the whole NR piece, and we continue to pretend to pay you, Ken. Win/win.

horsedreamer_1 March 14, 2011 at 3:15 pm

The Bush Doctrine only applies when a Republican is President?

Talk about doctrinaire.

jus_wonderin March 14, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Doctrine Aire. It's like Fresh Air, with less love for teh gheys.

Rotundo_ March 14, 2011 at 5:57 pm

IOOKIYAR (It's *ONLY* Okay If You Are Republican).

DaRooster March 14, 2011 at 3:16 pm

"They understand the principles of our democracy. They just don’t want them…"

Then they really must NOT understand and should be bullied into knowing how much gooder we are than them.

Oblios_Cap March 14, 2011 at 3:21 pm

More like "bombed". Spare the bomb and spoil the Muslim.

chicken[redack] March 14, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Funny how a forward-thinking Book of Revelation couldn't spot Islam, eh?

Negropolis March 15, 2011 at 2:52 am

Zing!

bikerlaureate March 14, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Hold STILL. This is for your own good.

Beowoof March 14, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Are you sure this is from a conservative republican? This makes too much sense. I can't read the whole article as everytime I read their drivel I wind wanting to kick the dog. And as you can tell from his picture in my avatar, he is just too sweet for that.

GuyClinch March 14, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Please don't kick that dog. He's a good boy! Yes he is! SUCH A GOOD BOY!!!

Beowoof March 14, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Which is why I never read NR cause he is a GOOD BOY, now I feel so bad for having thought about I have to run home and give him some snausages or maybe even his favorite, peanut butter.

starfanglednut March 14, 2011 at 6:59 pm

He is very cute.

bumfug March 14, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Same here, except in my case it would be spank the monkey.

Mahousu March 14, 2011 at 3:18 pm

See, if we just invade Muslim countries and kill people, that's fine; sharia allows that. It's when we take that extra step and introduce democracy that there's a problem.

Now I'm afraid to read his column, in case that's what he's actually saying.

joobajooba March 14, 2011 at 3:19 pm

So if Americans can't have Democracy, and are forced to live under the yoke of a compound constitutional republic, does that mean Americans will all be recruited into the terrorist Muslin radicalism? I'm so confused.

Oblios_Cap March 14, 2011 at 3:20 pm

He's obviously named after two of the awesomest Conservatards evah – Andrew "Come hither, Riley" Breifart and Joe McCarthy. He must be a lot of fun at parties.

SorosBot March 14, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Andrew McCarthy's bitter because he hasn't had a hit since Weekend at Bernie's.

[redacted]Crusher March 14, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Weekend at Bernie's was a hit?

SorosBot March 14, 2011 at 3:43 pm

It was successful enough to have a sequel, in which Bernie was animated a zombie by voodoo (no, really), so sadly, yes.

bumfug March 14, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Come to think of it trying to export American democracy to other countries is like dragging a dead guy around everywhere, pretending he's still alive.

nounverb911 March 14, 2011 at 3:20 pm

"They understand the principles of our democracy. They just don’t want them. "
So sayeth the Koch Brothers

cheaphits March 14, 2011 at 6:43 pm

And so sayeth Nuri al-Maliki and Hamid Khan Karza,.

chicken[redack] March 14, 2011 at 3:21 pm

More turdery from the article:

We should be having as little to do with Islamic countries as practicality allows, not getting ourselves ever more entangled — at least absent compelling national-security reasons.

Does Libya have light sweet "national security reasons" or sour "national security reasons"?

jus_wonderin March 14, 2011 at 3:27 pm

That wins me. Really.

sezme March 14, 2011 at 5:28 pm

That's a crude joke.

Lascauxcaveman March 14, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I'm actually a bit surprised at the restraint we're showing vis a vis Libya. With Europe egging us on to do a No Fly Zone and all, we've … what? Sent one or two sternly worded memos?

So far anyway. Maybe the oil companies just like the known known of dealing w/Q-daffy rather than the known unknown of whomever follows.

SheriffRoscoe March 14, 2011 at 3:21 pm

But hey, doesn't Democracy run afoul of Moses' Law too, and just about every other "law" in God's Word? The US Constitution just makes a mockery of God's Law, particularly when it comes to punishments.

[redacted]89048 March 14, 2011 at 3:58 pm

But in the babble, isn't punishment referred to as vengeance?

MinAgain March 14, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Why would anyone watching the U.S. think democracy was a good thing? Entirely too many voters are ignorant, overexcitable lemmings, and when they all start runnning off the same cliff together, the rest of us are swept along for the ride.

SayItWithWookies March 14, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Democracy without (good, public) education is like taking flying lessons without learning how to land.

OkieDokieDog March 14, 2011 at 3:22 pm

I said that from the very beginning of the Bush/Cheney Oily Christian Crusades against the Muslins!!

Minus the other crap that dude said.

Chillwaver March 14, 2011 at 3:22 pm

When you are a pathological liar, it gets to a point where you can't tell the difference between a lie and truth anymore.

PublicLuxury March 14, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Who's Sharia?

Oblios_Cap March 14, 2011 at 3:26 pm

I think that's what they call the wind.

proudgrampa March 14, 2011 at 3:37 pm

That's the great song by The Knack. You know, "My Sharia."

SorosBot March 14, 2011 at 3:44 pm

The female lead in West Side Story? Sharia, I just met a girl named Sharia…

[redacted]89048 March 14, 2011 at 4:07 pm

♪♫How do you solve a problem like Sharia?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?♪♫

ShaveTheWhales March 14, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Jude Law's sister?

Negropolis March 15, 2011 at 2:56 am

She's this woman on the corner that I hear has mad skills in the oral arts.

JustPixelz March 14, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Silly muslins, believing people cannot make laws that contradict religious dogma. No one in America believes in that sort of thing. Otherwise you'd have people calling the Ten Commandments the foundation of our legal system. Or saying government-run school prayers should be required.

SorosBot March 14, 2011 at 3:28 pm

There could even be some people who want the big government power to force everyone to live their sex lives according to the ridiculous rules laid out in Leviticus and Deuteronomy; thank god we don't have anyone like that here.

jus_wonderin March 14, 2011 at 3:40 pm

teehee. you said deuteronomy.

Pragmatist2 March 14, 2011 at 3:24 pm

If Muslims had democracy they would have free press and would have to put up the increasingly insane rantings of the prep school perverts at National Review.

DerrickWildcat March 14, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Keeeeerist! How many Arabs do we have to kill before they get it through their thick skulls that we're there to help them!?!?

proudgrampa March 14, 2011 at 3:53 pm

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

[redacted]89048 March 14, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Sometimes you have to destroy the village in order to save it.

HistoriCat March 14, 2011 at 4:18 pm

We're blowing up weddings as fast as we can …

Come here a minute March 14, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Ross Douthat also wrote something correct today, that we shouldn't invade Libya. I don't know what else he said, but it was probably stupid and I am certainly better off not reading it.

ShaveTheWhales March 14, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Maybe there's a virus circulating among the asshats?

Lascauxcaveman March 14, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Was it the usual Douhat thing?

Something along the lines of "We shouldn't invade Libya because when an attractive drunk girl wants to touch my thing, I feel kind of icky, because I'm most likely gay and haven't yet come to terms with that?"

Blendergoathead March 14, 2011 at 3:27 pm

He told the truth? Obama should fire that guy.

slithytoves March 14, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Any democracy worth promoting is a democracy that runs afoul of key sharia-law principles.

Just as the democracy McCarthy wants to promote runs afoul of the key principles of christianity.

ManchuCandidate March 14, 2011 at 3:28 pm

A quick change… and it could apply to Teabaggers.

"They understand the principles of our democracy. They just don’t want them. Any democracy worth promoting is a democracy that doesn't runs afoul of key capitalistic principles such as only rich people are worth protecting."

[redacted]Crusher March 14, 2011 at 4:05 pm

I do the same thing with the anti-Muslim tirade e-mails that I receive. Just replace the word Muslim with Xtian and return to sender along with all the other recipients.
Hilarity ensues!

SayItWithWookies March 14, 2011 at 3:28 pm

The good news is that Republicans are never hypocrites, because hypocrisy implies violating a principle. And idiots like McCarthy (and all of the GOP leadership, at least) use principles not as inviolable bases for calculating how to interpret a situation, but merely as colorful costumes for their latest act of self-interest. Therefore no hypocrisy.

elviouslyqueer March 14, 2011 at 3:43 pm

This. Even some of the NRO commenters are calling McCarthy on his BS about "loudly condemning Bush's statesmanlike gladhanding of Qaddafi." Although it's still abundantly clear that the NRO comment board is like RedState, only with a functional frontal lobe and slightly less anality.

BarackMyWorld March 14, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Ladies and gentlemen: Politics in America, explained in one post.

Ducksworthy March 14, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Colorful costumes…… Bravo sir or madam. So they really don't favor anal rape of children, they just pretend to, and pass laws promoting it, to please their base? OK. Somebody's gotta look out for the vile cretins among us. I guess.

Oblios_Cap March 14, 2011 at 3:28 pm

O/T, but Lawyers, Guns and Money has a pretty thoughtful analysis of the state of Japan's reactor issues that's well worth reading.

Shorter- the MSM is a bunch of sissy bedwetters. They must be Rethugs.

Oblios_Cap March 14, 2011 at 3:29 pm

His cynical, bitter back…

edgydrifter March 14, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Obviously he meant we have to kill all the Muslims when we invade their countries if we want to foil the terrorism recruiters. That way, their dead bodies will be able to enjoy all the benefits of modern western democracy.

[redacted]Crusher March 14, 2011 at 4:06 pm

And send in the Mormons to convert the corpses.

RedneckMuslin March 14, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Do you know the difference between an American and God?

God doesn't think he's American.

Ken Layne March 14, 2011 at 3:32 pm

I'll be here all week … literally, all week, one post after another. Jack went to Japan for some reason.

jus_wonderin March 14, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Don't burn out Ken. Pace yourself.

Lascauxcaveman March 14, 2011 at 6:14 pm

And please make sure Jack knows he's not allowed to eat any radioactive sashimi.

End of the week you're gonna be a burnout and we'll need him back.

mavenmaven March 14, 2011 at 3:34 pm

I don't see how any of the Arab republics differed from Gov Rick Snyder's innovative form of "democracy".

proudgrampa March 14, 2011 at 3:34 pm

I thought Andrew McCarthy was really good in Weekend at Bernie's. What? Oh. Never mind.

DustBowlBlues March 14, 2011 at 3:39 pm

I think the Republithug neocons (and droopy Joe L) dropped the idea of Muslin democracy being a good thing when the Palestinians got some and, of their own free will, elected people we thought they shouldn't have. So the good old, democracy lovin' USA went back to punishing them in concert with our They're-Never-Wrong pals, the Israelis.

donner_froh March 14, 2011 at 3:45 pm

That must have been from the special 3/14 pre-Ides of March Marxist/Leninist edition of National Review which will disappear at midnight.

glamourdammerung March 14, 2011 at 4:01 pm

It was bound to happen at some point.

SheriffRoscoe March 14, 2011 at 4:06 pm

If only the Founders had been wise enough to put up some sort of "wall" between religious laws and state laws when designing our system of government.

Lost_Teabaggers March 15, 2011 at 12:20 am

Yes…and for these assholes, it would literally take a WALL, an actual, physical wall as a didactic tool cuz conservatards don't learn so well. Of course, 200 years later Gary North and Newt Gingrich would each write books (Newt plagiarizing and then lying about plagiarizing North's version because even Gary North has more imagination than that serial adulterer; oh, and Newt judging by his peanut butter cup habit and double chins is lazy) about how the wall was actually their artistic way of showing how Christianity wrote the constitution through divine osmosis…

fuflans March 14, 2011 at 4:45 pm

this has been a day of republican photos from central casting.

hagajim March 14, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Well…once in a SuperMoon…

imissopus March 14, 2011 at 5:19 pm

From his daily column, "I'm Andy McCarthy, What's Your Excuse?"

Ducksworthy March 14, 2011 at 5:32 pm

That's where I learned
Little bunny Foo Foo
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And bopping them on the head
Down came the Good Fairy, and she said
"Little bunny Foo Foo
I don't want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And bopping them on the head."

ShaveTheWhales March 14, 2011 at 5:39 pm

"Unser Ding"?

"Nos chose"?

Lascauxcaveman March 14, 2011 at 6:00 pm

"Cosa Nostra."

Yeah, they definitely don't want that.

Redhead March 14, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Even a broken clock is right twice a day/give a room of monkeys typewriters and enough time and they will eventually write Shakespeare, etc.

CUNextTuesday March 14, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Ack. Should read all the way to the end before commenting….

CUNextTuesday March 14, 2011 at 9:09 pm

I think this just proved a corrollary of he Infinite Monkeys Theorem: "An infinite number of conservatards hitting at an infinite number of typewriters for an infinite amount of time will eventually produce a random true statement."

Lost_Teabaggers March 15, 2011 at 12:15 am

Looks like ole' Andy somewhat sucked you guys in by making one reasonable statement before launching into a tired, bigoted same ole' "they hates us fer are freedumz!" shit wingnuts have been babbling since Dubya proudly declared it. For gods sake wingnuts, why does anyone pay these assholes to write this shit? Why not just create a program to spit out conservative talking points from circa 2002 ad nauseum for every issue? Not only are these assholes incapable of original thought (it's why they are conservative to begin with) but they're fucking BORING. I could debate this asshole by making my claims and his counters to my claims for him and he'd just sit there nodding approvingly; and this guy has a college degree…sad state of affairs, fellow libtards…..

Negropolis March 15, 2011 at 2:45 am

Even a broken clock jammed up your ass is right twice a day.

Quiet, you! You may give kinky Republicans some ideas.

Negropolis March 15, 2011 at 3:03 am

Sharia sounds like a total bitch. Like the prima stalky, stabby ex-girlfriend you can't shake.

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