kochsuckers

Wife of Adulterous WI Senator/Union Breaker Joins Recall Against Him

Just climbing up some gal's crotch.One of Scott Walker’s top orcs in the union-busting thuggery, Republican Randy Hopper, was thrown out by his wife and is now shacked up in Madison with a 25-year-old right-wing lobbyist who (of course) formerly worked with Hopper as a legislative aide (writing law for Hopper’s corporate backers). And now Hopper’s wife has joined the recall campaign against him — not because of his politics, which she probably agrees with, but because he’s a jerkwad in his personal life, too.

Raw Story reports:

[T]he conservative Republican’s much-younger new flame is currently employed as a lobbyist for right-wing advocacy group Persuasion Partners, Inc., but was previously a state senate staffer who worked on the Senate Economic Development Committee alongside Mr. Hopper. Her bio has been scrubbed from the Persuasion Partners’ website, but a screen-grab is available here.

Sen. Hopper has worked closely with Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker to implement the state’s new anti-labor laws and enact policies favorable to the interests of big business. Like Walker, Hopper is one of the Republican politiciansnamed in a massive recall effort spearheaded by Wisconsin Democrats.

Randy Hopper also supports the raping of children, as long as a Catholic priest is the one raping the child:

It was State Senator Hopper who arranged for the controversial testimony of businessman and Catholic Right ally, now U.S. Senator Ron Johnson (R-WI), opposing the Child Victims Act.

The bill, which would have extended the statute of limitations for victims of child sex abuse to file lawsuits against their attackers, was vigorously opposed by the Catholic Church and the insurance industry. Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel columnist Daniel Bice fingered Hopper as the recruiter who persuaded Johnson to help kill the bill.

Gross, somebody “fingered Hopper.” (Hopper’s priest?)

[Raw Story]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
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  • nounverb911

    "Republican Randy Hopper, was thrown out by his wife and is now shacked up in Madison with a 25-year-old right-wing lobbyist "
    He loves Wisconsin so much he schtupped his favorite lobbyist.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Well done. Glad to see you didn't waste your first comment status.

  • Limeylizzie

    Fabulous Alt Text.

    • spooked911

      that pic is amazing

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Randy Hopper

    lol

    P.S. Downfisty trool is quick on the draw today. Three comments in and he's already wanking and downfisting!
    ~

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      He's just getting off on the photo.

      • DaRooster

        Yeah, what is that? A giant Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader?

        • Bonzos_Bed_Time

          Go Team!

    • Barbara_i

      As the downfister if he went to the Palin highway fiesta this week. Ask him if he was driving a Probe.

  • bumfug

    Maybe if we had a real opposition in this country as opposed to guys who just look sane by comparison…

  • GuyClinch

    He's involved with a much younger former aide?
    GINGRICH/HOPPER 2012!!1!one!1

    • DustBowlBlues

      Damn. I should have read the earlier comments. Sorry for freeloading. I thumbs upped you, anyway. (Upfisting sounds kind of dirty.)

      • [redacted]89048

        Of course it sounds dirty. Why else would we use the term?

  • MinAgain

    Here I thought he was just another middle-aged Republican leaving his wife for a young hottie that he bought and paid for with public money–boooooring–and then you threw in the child rape thing. Well played, Ken. Well played.

    • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

      Isn't he kinda outside the Rethug mold? I mean shouldn't be be shacked up with a young, MALE hottie? Just sayin'…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Sounds to me like this guy is standing on the shoulders of (Republican) giants.

    • mereoblivion

      "If I have smelled so far(t) it is because I have stood. . ."

  • jus_wonderin

    Well, it does kinda look like that woman in the photo wants it.

    • ttommyunger

      She is a big one, isn't she? Is that why he's wearing safety gear?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Attack on the 50-Foot Woman!!!

        • ttommyunger

          I don't know why this turd is smiling, he can't be touching anything with his tiny goober.

          • DashboardBuddha

            that reminds me of a joke:

            The elephant prostitute was walking through the jungle when a mouse inquired of her services. He then repaired to her hindquarters to complete the transaction. Whilst he was enjoying himself, a monkey came up to the elephant and inquired of her services. The elephant told him that he'd have to wait his turn. The monkey took umbrage at this and started biting the elephant.

            Hearing the elephant's cries, the mouse replied, "Take it bitch…take it all!"

          • ttommyunger

            Sounds like me…no, wait!

          • Negropolis

            LOL! I thought the joke was going to go one way (the elephant would be big enough to take multiple partners), and it went a totally different (and funnier) way.

        • SorosBot

          It reminds me of this infamous comic book sex scene (SFW, but barely) – http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v191/filthysize… – though that one involves a shrunken man pleasuring a normal-sized woman.

      • jus_wonderin

        BTW: Did Paul Bunyon have a wife?

        • ttommyunger

          You forget, this is a Rightard “family values” type. No adultery, only child-fucking and dick-sucking.

          • V572625694

            That we know of right now. Shouldn't be long, though. The more press he gets…

          • ttommyunger

            Waiting for the wide stance revelation in, 1, 2 ….

      • OC_Surf_Serf

        To quote Bugs Bunny "I'll be scared later…right now I am too maaaaaad"

        • ttommyunger

          Don't get mad, get even.

      • teebob2000

        "If you help me find my keys, we can drive my truck out."

        • ttommyunger

          Reminds me of the fine lady who asked me to insert my whole hand, then the other. She asked me to clap; when I told her I couldn't, she smiled and replied “Tight, ain't it?”.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    I kill frogs.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      It's not easy being green.

  • Oblios_Cap

    And now he's busting his own union! way to go, asshat.

    "Citing recent threats during the budget repair bill battle, Republican Senator Randy Hopper says he will not participate in Saturday's St. Patrick's Day Parade in Fond du Lac," reports WBAY TV. "In a written statement, Senator Hopper said, 'I had looked forward to walking the parade route and sharing this celebration with my family, friends, neighbors, and constituents, but I, in no way, want to put the citizens of Fond du Lac in harm's way.'"

    STFU.

    • Ducksworthy

      Sheet. I guess I'll have to find another use for my cabbage cannon.

      • DustBowlBlues

        It's the corned beef tsunami that really nails the target.

    • SorosBot

      Ah, St. Patrick's Day, AKA Amateur Night. It's almost time for the annual dodging of the projectile vomit. I'll be wearing my orange shirt for the day.

      • Oblios_Cap

        While i enjoy the stereotyping of my ancestors as a bunch of drunk frat boys (hey, we were all kings!), i don't celebrate St. Patty's or New Year's Eve for the reason you brought up.

        Orange is a shitty color, though.

      • not that Dewey

        We did that once in Brooklyn. Just remember, there are *two* kinds of Irish bars…

      • DustBowlBlues

        It's the one day of the year when I put away the OU crimson and cream and haul out the one shitty OSU tee shirt I have.

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          Hey now no OU teasipping allowed.

          • DustBowlBlues

            What? Is there a Silo Tech Aggie amongst us?

    • DustBowlBlues

      Sounds like this dickwad doesn't to be there when his wife's float comes by with the big green and white sign reading, "Recall my slut-screwing Husband, Very randy Hopper.

    • [redacted]Crusher

      Amazing how these douche nozzles can say that they are doing this "because it's the will of the voters", but yet he's afraid to go out in public?
      These same Fond Du Lac voters you want to protect, are they the ones that you feel threatened by?

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Sounds like Persuasion Partners, Inc is using the oldest profession to persuade. The girl looks like she’s fresh out of high school.
    Ya gotta love those Republican family values.

    • spooked911

      is it possible this is a straight up lobbying outfit for prostitutes?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Squeeze wrote a song about this very person, couple years before she was even born.

        Lyrics (second verse is a bullseye)

        Video (live, TV dub, low quality)

    • MozakiBlocks

      Persuasion Partners, Inc huh?

      Well, the name "Moonlight Bunny Ranch" is taken…

      • Crank_Tango

        How about mustang lobby ranch?

  • GuyClinch

    UnionsRStreetGangs is now following me (and sweatily downfisting us all). Welcome aboard, ass-hookah!

    • jus_wonderin

      Yeah, me too. I feel special. There are weirdos out there. Be careful.

      • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

        Eh, being annoyed by retards on the Internet is like being annoyed by the weather.

        Anyway, the nice thing is all these retards bothering to come to Wonkette posts they hate are giving Wonkette sweet, sweet page views. That's how we get paid here, by the page view. So every wingtard trolling the comments is *literally* putting a cash donation in the Wonkette fund.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          If that's the case, then I, for one, welcome the revenue-generating downfisters to Ken's site. Perhaps Breitbart can be convinced to continue encouraging their visits.

        • hockeymom

          These are good points! Thanks for the reality check.

          • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

            And, it should be noted, hanging out at Breitbart's empire of shame has the same effect on Breitbart's advertising — although he makes about 99% of his money from Drudge linking to wire stores hosted on Breitbart's ad pages, so avoiding "big whatever.com" isn't really going to make a notable difference. He can afford to lose money on those sites, which is why he launches another one every couple of days.

          • Fare la Nippon

            BigPageViews.com is coming later this week.

          • DustBowlBlues

            Bummer. I was feeling so good about the fact I never bother with them.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            As long as we're talking business, Ken, do you get paid significantly more when a page viewer such as myself clicks an ad on Wonkette, or am I wasting my time with all that?

          • glamourdammerung

            Still waiting for Big Domestic Terrorism.

            Unless it already exists. I generally have better things to do than read the screeching of the mentally handicapped.

          • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

            Eeewh i followed Metmacirsf there one day and it took me a long time before I felt clean again.

        • OC_Surf_Serf

          Ken: All those cheques from George Soros sure have been getting bigger lately. I am using mine to buy luxurious TopRaman and Blue Cross.

          Us lubrils have it all don't we?

          • jus_wonderin

            I have just taken to sharing the dogbowl. Though breakfast and dinner have gotten quite snarly.

        • berkeleyfarm

          YESSSS!

          So when IntenseDebate implements their planned "Block this follower" feature, I won't be using it as originally planned.

          (FWIW: IntenseDebate support said that account had been zapped, so I expect BasementWarrior here to sock up, again, and "follow", again.)

    • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

      Someone needs a hobby other than masturbation and Cheetos.

      Some info about UnionsRStreetGangs:
      Description: Boycott union products and services whenever possible. Unions internalize all profit and externalize all costs.
      Reputation: -109
      Follows: 17
      Followed by: 18

      • jus_wonderin

        So he doesn't drive.
        Has never been to school.
        Probably sits around naked, unless he likes clothes made in child labor sweatshops.
        Etc.
        Etc.

      • CapeClod

        I love the fact that he surely must be patting himself on some part of his body for making the stupid liberals cry, when in fact we welcome the increase in page views and the increase in our followers. More power to you, pal! What are you, ten years old?

    • HistoriCat

      Yeah me too – kinda sad since I'm usually just a second-string one liner. Eh – who cares. Let the troll waste all of his time with our stupid comments.

      • http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cheaphits/reviews/ cheaphits

        Yeah, he's even after the third stringers like me…some of my "followers" are like our "leaders"…on the wrong side of the bat-shit crazy line.

    • ttommyunger

      Me too! Nice to be noticed. I get so tired of preaching to the choir.

      • missemish

        I'm part of that spangled 17 too!

        • ttommyunger

          cool

    • JoeBiteme

      He's following me too. I dig the subtlety in his name…

      • jus_wonderin

        LOL. He doesn't know subtle. Hope he doesn't live in a glass house. Oh wait, I bet he lives in an ass house.

    • kissawookiee

      Alas, me too. Never have so many quality pee-points been wasted so badly.

    • hagajim

      I am in the same boat…good thing there isn't a tsunami here on Wonkette

    • meufchelou

      Huh, so that's who that is. A bit overkill Union, considering my P level. But hey, waste your time doing that instead of something more meaningful.

    • genxr

      Has anyone here ever come up with the clever idea of creating a user with a name like "Conservative=Intolerant" or whatnot, and then following random people on one of the Breitbart sites? And then been bored enough to actually follow through with that plan? If so, then 1) really that's just sad, and 2) how did they react?

    • Steverino247

      He blows goats. I have proof!

    • Upfist Fairy

      Looks like I am going to be busy today! However I do not rate a troll follower anymore, I haz a sad.

    • Fare la Nippon

      Naturally, he doesn't seem to realize that by following me he's just dropping extra pee points in my coffer. Once I get to 200 I can exchange them for a copy of the Communist Manifesto and an abortion! Yeehaw!

    • Beowoof

      He is following me too and you know the more of these guys that follow me the more likely I think it necessary to arm myself. Just in case any of them want to stop by for a chat with old grandpa here.

    • glamourdammerung

      Apparently, I managed to make a troll that came here not only have to post on their site about how butthurt they were, but the white supremacist pal of theirs also had to post about how butthurt I made them on their site.

      Winning!

  • Boredw/[redacted]

    Boy, it didn't take long for the downfisting troll to get here. I'm upfisting for parity.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Re the photo: Some guys just have that fixation on them white schoolgirl panties. I think Elvis was one of them.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Hey hey HEY now. I will have you know that I much prefer Spanx, thank you ver… oh, wait.

    • [redacted]Crusher

      That's what the entire Japanese porn industry thrives on.

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    Sure is downfist troll ITT. Upfisting for justice!

  • OC_Tsunami_Surf_Serf

    One more and he wins the RNC's Gingrich Family Award!!!!

    • nounverb911

      Unless his wife shoots him first and then it's the Darwin Award.

      • OC_Surf_Serf

        Wouldn't that be the Phil Hartman Award??

        too soon??

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Just send Newt 5,000$ and he'll send you the plaque.

  • The_Great_Gazoo

    Rappelling looks more fun than ever.

    • Steverino247

      It's more fun from a helicopter than down a cliff, but I never got to try rappeling off a giant's crotch when I was in the Army…

  • Ducksworthy

    Randy Hopper and anal rape of children? Why not?

  • GayInMaine

    Dear Abby,

    Hypothetically, if a State Senator were to be recalled in an election led by his own wife, would he be required to give up his 25 year old former aide turned lobbyist/live-in girlfriend?

    Asking for No Particular Reason in Madison

    • http://www.stumbleupon.com/stumbler/cheaphits/reviews/ cheaphits

      Dear "No Particular"'

      Under ordinary circumstances I would be opposed to your "hopping" a woman that could, instead, come my way; but if this will keep you from encouraging child molestation and since she's bought and paid for by lobbyists, I suppose it's the best thing., that is the Republican way after all.

      Abby's lesbian half sister,

      Condoleezza

    • Slim_Pickins

      If he was recalled, there would be no compelling reason for her to stick around other than a big dick, that is.

  • CapeClod

    Alt text for the win.

    Was Hopper's wife afflicted with incurable disease or pregnant with child? That's usually how these turds roll.

    • nounverb911

      Isn't it against the republitard rules to abandon a healthy wife?

    • Rotundo_

      She has not-twenty-five any more syndrome. I figure that the kitten will dump his ass once the publicity gets a little too warm and if he's recalled and doesn't have any more incentive to offer (other than his rugged good republican looks and 4 inches of Fondy Fire Cracker) she'll be off to work as an office manager or executive assistant for some similarly endowed and wealthier host organism.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Those Fondy Firecrackers do such good work… in bed, one of the finer coeds at my school preferred the company of a gay man to any she could have been getting at home.

  • chascates

    Jump!

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Union-busting lobbying : a union with lobbyist busts…

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for a younger presumable female because you never know with GOPers.

  • Troubledog

    Just like I told you players. Just take these little instruction sheets, do what the sheets say, and they will hook you up with HELLA cash and bitches. My friend Randy, they even got rid of his nagging bitch of a wife and hooked him up with a little hottie he used to work with. They are fucking right now, in a house these guys bought for him.

    These guys, they just make shit happen, it's for real. You're a fool if you don't get some of this action. Who the fuck cares, it's the end of the world anyhow. You're just walking away from money, you can't stop it. This is small time compared with the shit they got going on in DC.

    And if you don't do it they'll just find somebody who will. You play along or they throw you under the bus. Just fucking be a grownup and hold your nose and do it. You think Donald Trump has an attack of conscience when he fucks people over? Or maybe you're too much of a pussy to stand up and be a man about this.

    • GregComlish

      You know, people can vote their conscience and still fuck sluts on the side. Ain't no law against it. The only difference is that the religious right will not instantly forgive you if you are fighting for working people, instead of fucking them in the ass and then bragging about it, just like you do with your dumb slut mistress.

      • Troubledog

        My dumb slut mistresses and I concur and in fact, I don't ever hold people in contempt for just getting laid, even if they are married. Those are personal matters. I fuck guys' wives all the time. Oh he's so busy. Oh he doesn't understand me. Oh he doesn't own a fucksaw.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    That picture gives a whole new meaning to camel toe.

    • Steverino247

      One hump or two?

  • slithytoves

    The troll illustrates the fundamental intellectual defect of its kind: whenever it downfists, every Wonketter goes beserker upfisting. Congrats on accomplishing the exact opposite of your intentions, asshat!

    • jus_wonderin

      Consider yourself upfisted (in the most gentle way).

    • mourningnmerica

      Whenever a troll downfists, an angel gets his wings.

    • http://www.defendwisconsin.org/ Natl[redacted]Cmdr

      a downfist to one is an downfist to all! solidarity!

  • WIDTAP

    So when did he move out of his district I wonder.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    I think "SexySmurf" has a new icon/avatar in the making!

  • FraAnima

    Help me find my car keys and we can drive out.

    • jus_wonderin

      Found…found….found…your…your…your…keys….keys…keys.

  • Hatrabbit

    Judging from the photo, Randy Hopper is just an outdoorsy Christian gentleman who enjoys rappelling down giant vaginas on weekends.

    • mereoblivion

      He's been repelling me for years.

    • kissawookiee

      Those things are ALL OVER the Appalachian Trail. That's why it took Mark Sanford so long to finish his hike.

    • Steverino247

      I'm an indoorsy atheist gentleman who enjoys spelunking in vaginas on weekends.

  • PublicLuxury

    Leave it to a republitard to be boinking the help and feeling righteous about it. They have their cock in one hand and are pointing at Clinton with the other. They're such hypocritical ass lickers. I've NEVER met a republipuke that I could tolerate past the 10 minute mark.

  • ttommyunger

    Less P talk, more snark. I would be the same with a negative P, positive P or no fucking P. Fuck P's and if you care about them, fuck you.

    • Troubledog

      Seriously. When half the comments are referencing shadowy figures who are doing something allegedly bad to us, what bad thing that is cannot be measured but people are sure that it's bad, although it does not affect anything in any measurable way and cannot be quantified, yet people are still obsessed with hunting it, tracking it, calling it out by name, and devoting time and attention to opposing it, although it holds no form and cannot be opposed and in fact by doing so, you pay it in the currency of the attention it seeks, thereby encouraging others from its home community to come here and do even more of the thing that affects no person.

      At that point we might as well be on WND or InfoWars.

      • jus_wonderin

        Troubledog, should we go quantum???

      • ttommyunger

        True enough. I say welcome their attention. Fuck the P's! I never had a P sandwich. They mean nothing, are worth nothing. Do they mean agreement, approval? I don't give a shit about either, that's why I am a Wonketeer.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      "Less P talk, more snark! The greatest wits of the '80s, '90s and beyond! WONK-FM!"

      • ttommyunger

        And AM!

  • Radiotherapy

    First Walker, then Hopper, then Hitther.

  • PublicLuxury

    Did Randy get randy because the naughty little girl was dressed in a female fashion? Did Randy use 'force' when he became randy?

  • tribbzthesquidz

    Like Newt, he should just come out and say, "I poked it, but I didn't provoke it." The little hottie must have been very "persuasive" in her "partnering."

  • PublicLuxury

    If a priest rapes a child and no one hears the child's screams did it really happen? Randy, Randy Hopper thinks, nope, didn't happen.

  • V572625694

    "…worked with Hopper as a legislative aide (writing law for Hopper’s corporate backers)…"

    Actually more like "transcribed legislation dictated by corporate lobbyists." Of course with an official Degree in Professional Journamalism©™ from Marquette U, she's eminently qualified for such stenographic duties.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Don't go dragging the Jesuits into this!

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Nobody expects the Inqusition.

    • Rotundo_

      Hell, she has more of an education than Scooter does… Maybe if there's a recall it'll be Floozie instead of Scooter..

  • Zombie_Reagan

    Remember folks, it's the gheys that are destroying marriage, not philandering, "family values" Republicans.

  • SmutBoffin

    Re: the alt text:

    "Fit, classy guy seeks BBBBBBBBW."

  • Limeylizzie

    "Alt-alt Text "Mmmmm must be a Red Lobster near here."

    • Steverino247

      I hear she went fishing with ten guys and came back with a big red snapper.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Jesus Christ…what the hell is that in the picture? A prop from The Attack of the 50 Foot Woman?

    • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

      I did a minor color adjustment on this pic I found on his legislative site: http://legis.wisconsin.gov/senate/sen18/news/Pres

      • emmelemm

        Wait, you doctored the footage??

        /kidding

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Genius.

      • Rotundo_

        I didn't recall any wind generators with peaches and cream blades on them. You should went with fishnets for the over the top effect.

      • berkeleyfarm

        Well played, sir. *golf clap*

  • MistaEko

    Well, given his first wife and his stance on public employees, we can see he's not that high on unions of any stripe.

  • DaRooster

    Hey, nice scruples…

    …douche.

  • prommie

    Something tells me she wasn't working "beside" him on that commitee, I bet she was working under him.

    • horsedreamer_1

      inches from the goal
      one thing on his mind
      to get behind her desk and make
      some big decisions

    • MarcelleMarceau

      I'm sure Hopper was behind her all the way.

  • Barbara_i

    I see he's into repelling and spelunking. He's a horny, multitasking genius! Typical politician though, spent nine months trying to get out of the womb and then the rest of his life is dedicated to getting right back in there.

  • Chillwaver

    Does Randy's wife have cancer? Is he actively trying to impeach somebody for the same sin? No? Then Newt still in the lead.

  • meufchelou

    Hats off to Ken for not making the obvious pun on his name and leaving that job to us.

  • WIDTAP

    Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce to you Miss Valerie Cass.

    Thank you Google cache.

    • Steverino247

      Whitest teeth he ever came across.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      On first split-second load of that page, it looked like those were flag-panties on the left.

    • An_Outhouse

      She's got a nice moustache.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Matt Flynn looks psychotic, to me — like Peter Sarsgaard in a re-make of Slingblade.

  • http://www.wonkette.com refudiatedness

    Only two more wives until he gets a free soft pretzel.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Or gets to be Newt's running mate.

  • Extemporanus

    Here's a photo of Hopper's honey shot from another angle.

    • WIDTAP

      Ken Layne – Extemp's link MUST become a picture for the next mistress sex scandal.
      It's just too good not to use.

    • natoslug

      More inflatables like that and light rail ridership would soar! Or many more light railers would end up sore. One or the other, maybe both.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I hear the Sta-Puft marshmallow man is looking for a new girlfriend…

  • horsedreamer_1

    I want to see Miss Manners & Dear Abby in a smackdown, officiated by Dan Savage. Miss Manners would punctuate her finishing move with this advice: "Do not go gently into this good nite..", she'd say. Then, bam, pile-driver.

  • mourningnmerica

    This poor fucker is toast. His wife is so mean. The sad part is that once it becomes obvious to Pecker Persuasion that the guy is no longer useful, they will pull the pussy from his account. No job, no pussy… I just hope the guy has a reliable source for weed.

  • genxr

    Randy Hopper, International Man of Mystery?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    If the recall is successful, how long do you think Ms 25-Year-Old Cute Lobbyist is going to stay with this loser? Better timed in minutes or seconds?

    Some problems take care of themselves.

    • horsedreamer_1

      She'll drop him like a bad habit, do Playboy, then Celebrity Apprentice.

  • horsedreamer_1

    DENY THIS MAN COMMUNION!

    … Oh, right, sorry, that's only John Kerry that gets denied Communion. IOKIYAR even applies to the Church. (What, First Amendment?)

  • fuflans

    today we are all 25 year mistresses living in madison.

    • Negropolis

      BTW, what do you call a male mistress?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Mark Foley's speed-dial?

  • SmutBoffin

    The word in Madison is that not only have Republican legislators' wives been abandoning them, but also the city's fraternity population has defected and gone over to the other side. The drunken downtown crowd can now be heard singing anti-Walker songs late at night.

    Given the number of Young Republicans that live in Greek houses, there must be a great deal of discord at home.

  • genxr

    Bust a union, get a 25 year old mistress? Is that what I'm missing?

  • WhatTheHeck

    From the mistress’ point of view: she’s taking it in the shorts for freedom.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Subscribing to that old adage "Tall women are worth the climb."

  • Slim_Pickins

    The lobbyist looks udderly fantastic, wholesome in that characteristic bovine, Wisconsin way.

  • msatlas

    The weekend before Valentine's day I was out at Graze, a snobby delicious gastropub joint on the Capitol square. They have truffled popcorn and bone marrow! While we were drinking at the bar waiting for a table to open, I got up to go to the men's. When I came back, the ladyfriend informed me someone had tried to claim my temporarily empty bar stool, but she gave him the stink eye and defended the stool. A few days later she spotted him on tv and it was this Randy Hopper choad. He was definitely with a woman who was probably the mistress. Not only does Randy Hopper try to steal workers' rights, he's an unabashed bar stool snatcher.

    • SmutBoffin

      History's Greatest Monster

    • DustBowlBlues

      How douchey can one man be? According to an opinion piece link on a fb friends page today, this is all the fault of John Locke.

      • SorosBot

        Well of course; all the trouble started when he decided to stop entering the numbers every 108 minutes.

    • RedneckMuslin

      Bone marrow in the Graze?? Are the over 21 laws preventing children w/ leukemia from getting transplants there?

      • msatlas

        With the way our state government's going lately, I wouldn't be surprised if that ends up happening.

        I however was talking about the roasted beef bone marrow with braised beef cheek & oxtail marmalade and pickled shallots. So good. http://grazemadison.com/main.php?page=dinner.php

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Stool snatcher? Is that like a turd-burglar?

      • msatlas

        I see what you did there, and I like where your head's at.

    • http://www.defendwisconsin.org/ Natl[redacted]Cmdr

      republican is as republican does. good on your ladyfriend for valiantly defending your stool. she sounds like a real stand-up dame.

  • DustBowlBlues

    jesus. The thread's at 53 comments which looks doable, but by the time I get my grilled cheese sandwich prepared it's up to over a 100. Damn you "my" wonkette, and what you do to my work ethic.

    The one thing that confuses me about this is that I didn't know anyone could get recalled from a not-quite presidential campaign. [feels tug on sleeve and someone whispers in ear. "What? It isn't Newt?"}.

    Well, excuse me for living. Between Japan and the fate of Charley Sheen, it's hard to keep with up which family-values Republithug (and one Demotard) has been outted as a douchebag today. There are too many of them.

    • onemoretime79

      It is, hard to keep up.
      But it's worth it.
      /heh

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Hopper had to leave his wife and move in with a lobbyist. The rising acceptance of same-sex marriage around the country destroyed his marriage and forced him from his marital bed.

    • [redacted]Crusher

      I remember reading something about this in The Gay Agenda Pamphlet that those guys left in my front door after I refused to answer it.

      • comrad_darkness

        Seriously, you didn't answer the door? Those guys I'd welcome in.

        "Have a seat on the Armoire . . . You want something to drink, some Pimms, some Lillet?"

  • natoslug

    She looks so wholesome in that pic. I assume by now she's bleached her hair, lipo'd away anything that made her figure attractive and added a bump-it.

  • aguacatero

    Perhaps the worst casualty of all this Wisconsin madness: Marquette University (where the 25-year-old right wingy climber/climbee mistress went, and where Scott Walker went until he Palined out). It used to appear on my radar only as an inoffensive Catholic school that occasionally excels at basketball, a Villanova of Dairyland. It is now on my Dean's List of Shame.

    • horsedreamer_1

      You still have Chris Farley, Charles P. Pierce, & Glenn "Doc" Rivers to claim.

      • aguacatero

        I admit — those are all awfully good. And you could have added Don Ameche and Doc Rivers' assistant coach Lawrence Frank.

        And I guess Marquette's demerit points for Walker are mitigated by the fact that he dropped out (or was pushed).

        • WIDTAP

          Well, to be fair, what Midwest Catholic college did Don Ameche not attend? He bopped between a few of them, including Loras College in Dubuque. …not that I keep track of the cast of the Bickersons or anything. That would just be weird.

          • http://www.defendwisconsin.org/ Natl[redacted]Cmdr

            don ameche, don ameche, don ameche! god! he's all anyone can talk about lately!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Oh c'mon, it's not right to be hating on Marquette Basketball just because some dirty little Republican slut graduated from there. It's not like she was banging the whole hoop squad and gave 'em herpes.

      Uh… unless you know something that I don't.

  • DaSandman

    Valerie you are a dirty dirty little right wing extremist….

    • comrad_darkness

      Don't you really want to say:
      "Oh, Valerie, bring that dirty little right wing extremism over here. I know you aren't picky . . ."

  • XOhioan

    Beautiful job, whoever did the (only minimal) Photoshop! http://legis.wisconsin.gov/senate/sen18/news/Phot
    Even without the skin coloring, it still looks like he's climbing into some Republican vagina.

    • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

      I was TORN over this … we don't really do much photoshop at Wonkette, preferring to use "found art" photos (usually of a politician posing with either a furry or an actual zoo animal). But I saw this one and could not resist a little flesh coloring on the windmill blades.

  • DustBowlBlues

    I need some news clarification. Did or did not Newt's second wife get cuckolded while she was receiving cancer treatment? I know that happened to his first wife, the one he married and kept knocking up to make sure he was one wife, then one kid, another kid, etc, to make sure he didn't wasn't eligible for the draft.

    If one Newt would get caught fondling a man, young or old, paid or a freebee, he could achieve the Republithug trifecta of utter, complete massive hypocrisy.

    Better yet, make that an arabic man.

  • Beowoof

    Oh I am sure this guy is into watersports.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    If any of you should be so inclined as to contact the esteemed congressman here is the link.
    http://legis.wisconsin.gov/senate/sen18/news/Cont

  • chicken[redack]

    Wow, evolution! He's his own crotch critter.

  • ThundercatHo

    UnionsRStreetGangs is following me too. Creepy little stalkers, get a fucking (union) job. Oops, Walmart is non-union. Well, since y'all are probably unqualified for anything just go pull over to the side of the road somewhere and wait for the rapture.

  • joobajooba

    I can see Russia from her crotch.

  • DustBowlBlues

    No snark, just dropped in to say that stays at my little B&B (I'm a small businessperson, just like the Kock brothers and Bechtel) have been seriously curtailed by the fact the bridge to get here (versus the circuitous and muddier route) fell in. It seems that it might finally get replaced (we have various county officials under indictment so, you know, things have been crazy) because of FEDERAL MONEY. When I get the details from the old man, I will gleefully be telling people, "I may finally get the new bridge, thanks to the Recovery Act money. I just hope the Republican budget won't affect it."

    Minor, but nice to live in a county of Teatard douchebaggery and be able to legitmately rub people's faces in the shit they believe. And I think I might drop by a luncheon tomorrow and give Inhofe's assistant my rant on NPR.

    Back on topic: Why is it that marital infidelity only counts for Democrats? Or only Democrats actually served in the military? Why does god let dogs and cats go homeless and die while people like the Kock brothers aren't dying of some agonizing disease? Or at least destroyed in a climate-change induced natural disaster?

    Why, lord, why? (This is Lent and I'm a very spiritual person who is missing the sweets I gave up. Perhaps that is making me more irritable than usual.)

    • horsedreamer_1

      Republicans tend toward Protestantism — Scalia & the like are rare, no matter how prominent Scientology Opus Dei might want to make itself seem — & they can be SAVED merely by saying they are SAVED.

    • GeneralLerong

      Why, lord, why?

      You forgot that you died and got sent to Hell. That's Planet Earth, Shayol, whatever. We be here, workin' out our retribution for whatever hideous crimes we perpetrated in Multiverse Pi [Ah, what a paradise, I still have memories].

      The good news is, fuck up here and you get sent to someplace even ghastlier. See ya, George, Dick, Paul, Newt, Rush, Sarah – you're gonna lo-o-o-ve your next life.

  • Neoyorquino

    On my cell phone that picture looks like he's rappelling down Rush Limbaugh's perineum (or whatever the crotchular area is). T'aint wrong, is it?

  • chimpinatophat

    I don't know how to begin expressing how weirded out I am that his mistress could have been a high school classmate of mine. Fucking hell, she looks like half the girls I know.

    I really should see if any of my Marquette-attending classmates ever met her and if they can give me hilarious details.

    • comrad_darkness

      Oh oh, please do.

      Whoring to screw over your fellow Americans leaves no room for coddling.

    • horsedreamer_1

      She was prolly getting jiggy at Ziggie's many a late nite during sophomore year.

      … Got-damn, I miss that place. The frequent health-code violations gave the place character. (I'm serious. Loved the Gyros, the smooties, the sass-talking Greek owner.)

  • owhatever

    I don't believe this ex-wife-to-be is going to stand by her man on the Foxie teevee during weepy, sincere apology time.

  • comrad_darkness

    Yeah, and he ruined marriage by staying married.

    –honest to god, a dipshit conservative insisted this to me once.

  • SlightBuzz

    Maybe it's just me, but does the photo of Randy Hopper look like he climbing up the crotch of a giant with outstretched legs?

  • http://strangestoriesaboutsadpeople.blogspot.com/ Thedongsofwar

    GIGANTIC YOUNG LOBBYISTS WILL BE THE DEATH OF US ALL!

  • JimmyPete

    Hey at least show a picture of this hot right wing babe. If we have to put up with all their crap the least we could do is imagine them as a sexy underpaid school teacher , all fired up from a Thug Rally and rarin to go.

  • onemoretime79

    Persuasion Partners, Inc.
    The lines just write themselves.

    Further in to the point, doesn't this move that Reublican Senator outside his district?

    If so, is new housing funded by WI taxpayers' ?

    I would imagine no – this must come out of his check.
    Economic downturn, Senator from WI. So sad./

    • Rotundo_

      Nah, he's shacked up with the mistress who has an apartment in Madison, paid for by Persuasion Partners ink. So, he maintains a mailing address in Fond Du Lac, and beds down with a lobbying firms rental unit. So it's a great deal for the people of Wisconsin, he gets to claim a per diem for being away from Fondy, and gets to tap that wholesome looking corn-fed lobby babes' orifices and gets free room and board from Persuasion Partnerz ink and faithfully represents his district by running away to Madison to shack up on the lobbiests' dime. So to recap, salary, per diem, apartment with rent a pooter with sleep in rights. Must be nice to not have a scrap of morals ethics or character. It certainly seems to have its rewards.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I just assumed he was following me because I look so studly in my avatar photo.

  • WIDTAP

    The bears stealing from another blog repeating:

    Randy Hopper (R-Fond du Nookie)

    • MarcelleMarceau

      Randy Hopper (R) Fond du Cornac?

      • horsedreamer_1

        I actually hear he's quite the freak.

        Randy Hopper (R) Fond du Lactating.

  • Mike Licht

    Have you no shame, sir?

    It just horrible to publish scandalous insinuations like this without including revealing boobalishus photos of the babe in question.

    There, I've said it.

  • MarcelleMarceau

    Mom and Dad must be so proud.

  • Negropolis

    Karma can be a bitch, dependent upon how your treat her, of course.

    Usually, zoo animals know that you shit in the corner, not the center of the pen. Way to ruin your party, Republican majority. Now, if you'd just fuck off an die in that corner, that'd be great.