WONKETTE ACTION ALERT: Reminder: this Sunday is Stand Up America’s “Just Stop!” event, when (two or three) people across the country will get on a major road and pull over to the side of the road in a nonsensical expression of support for Sarah Palin and such.
• Imagine others driving by wondering “what the heck”? Wave to everyone;
• Be a part of millions of people saying: “Stop the madness, we are pulling over and just stopping!”
Indeed. There are a lot of problems in the world right now. Problems that can only be solved by immediately removing Barack Obama from office and installing Sarah Palin. The people of Japan have thrown their false-god Buddhism robots into the tsunami water and called out as one for the only one who can save them: a snowbilly grifter.
Make sure your pickup is ready to burn off some fossil fuels for freedom, Wonketteers! [Stand Up America]
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Don't forget to use the "temporary" soap for the message you write on your car.
It'll be the first time most of them have ever used soap.
Apart from the human lard variety
If they really meant it, they'd use permanent soap. These baggers are so fickle.
Permanent soap must be what Sarah uses to take off that lip-liner.
Too bad these people are permanently fucked.
I guess this is a WTH moment??
Remember you don't have to pull over to the side of the road republitards, just pick a spot and stop. That'll get their attention way faster. No get out there for Jeebus and remember to hold the sign high about the birf sertifficat
All right, how do you do that two-image avatar? Trés kool.
Instead of pulling over to the side of the road, the Palin supporters should drive as fast as they can into a very sturdy object–a bridge viaduct might do. It would no only get lots of publicity (as long as enough <s>idiots</s> momma grizzlies did it) but would be a real job creation machine for funeral homes, hospitals, body shops and junkyards.
Just make sure to plaster your vehicle with enough Palin For President and Africoon Out of the White House stickers.
You gotta write "strike" inside those carats < > to get them to do their job. Learned it the hard way.
And they can not edit it now since you replied, hehe.
SHITOOPSstrikeThe More You KnowDon't worry about it, I am still laughing my considerabe ass off at "Africoon". I'm surprised I haven't seen that on a Teabastard's sign.
that would require them to possess creativity and wit
Chuck Palaniuk, is that you? I read your "Rant" book.
You know who else told people to stop, collaborate, & listen?
Senator Joe McCarthy?
Buffalo Springfield?
Stephen Stills?
Not jesus?
Emmanuel Goldstein?
Jim Jones?
Snow?
Eminem, right?
or his buddy, Enema?
Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog.
Certainly not George Bush.
Color Me Badd?
MC Hammer, obvs.
Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods?
The Vichy government?
ACORN?
Attention please: for the remainder of President Obama's term in office the role of Acorn will be played by Planned Parenthood.
*/last minute substitution
St. Patrick?
Smokey Bear? Wait, that was stop, drop, & roll.
Be sure to stay on the side of the road while that tsunami is bearing down on you, we wouldn't want you to get lost in the panic.
I suppose the irony of saying "Stop the Madness" in conjunction with supporting Sarah Palin has escaped them.
These are the same scooter bound proudly ignorant folks that hate Obamacare 'cause it gots gubmint fingers all in it, but will fight to the death for their Medicare.
The whole concept of irony is as much out of reach for these folks as the quadratic equation.
As close as that, you think?
Irony died 9/11/01.Remember?
Nothing won't get done all by itself.
So, if the teamsters strike in solidarity with the unions in wisconsin, will sarah interpret the resulting chaos as support for her retarded idea? You betcha!
Support for Trig?
These are Palinites, so the chance they'll fuck this up is basically 100%. Expect crapped-out rust buckets to suddenly stop in the middle of intersections or freeway off-ramps at random times throughout the day as their drivers misread their dash clocks, misremember what time they were supposed to stop or just generally forget what they're doing.
It goes up to 137% since it's the day we switch to Daylight Savings Time.
They'll forget to change their clocks and show up one hour late. Or early. Jack Daniels on Friday night changes your perception of reality.
For those of you driving hovarounds (or whatever those things are called), just stop in the middle of the road and the Soylent Green machines will come pick you up.
The scoops are on their way. The scoops are on their way.
The state troopers of America want to thank the teatards for the help in meeting their ticket quotas.
Just asking for some advice: what sort of foreign objects should one hurl out the window at these nitwits on Sunday?
Used tampons.
Transylvania teabags for the teatards!
Instead of foreign objects I'm going with the classic paintball gun. I think they'll appreciate the militia vibe to it. Or they'll crap their pants at the sight of a black woman with a gun. Either way: good times.
I don't know. You might sexually arouse them, too. Got to be careful with that Angela Davis goodness.
tossng crosses at people seems to be pretty hip these days
If you were a real Amurrican, you'd only throw domestic objects.
Frying pan. Meat cleaver. And so on.
Not union-made, though.
I plan to pull a Vitter and fling out some seriously filthy diapers. To illustrate how full of shit they are, also.
Another possibility is to call 911 and report a stalled vehicle and let the police (hopefully) ticket them.
What about flinging doggy droppings or dirty cat litter? It would make them smell bad, like all of their stupid ideas.
Dulcolax?
Molotov Cocktails.
Cheers!
How many pet rocks you got lying around?
Cigarette butts. I know I plan to do that.
We'll be driving to ABQ on Sunday with my dad and stepmother. If anyone does this Palin thing, I will be hurling all kinds of shit out the window, despite the risk of the $300 fine (which I've never seen enforced. Have you ever seen those signs that say "traffic monitored by aircraft"? Yeah, right. As though NM has money to spend on airborne surveillance of the highways.)
I drive I-25 between Alb & SF every day. I can tell you one of the best kept secrets in the state is the clandestine traffic air force that patrols all state highways from 40,000 feet. There are at least five hundred state-of-the-art speed planes who see everyone and everything they do and monitor the speed of every vehicle. chuckle at your own risk my friend.
Vegetables.
A miniature statue of Milan's cathedral. It worked with Berlusconi.
I read the headline as "Reminder:
Pull Over the Side of the Road This Weekend WithThrow that moldy loaf of bread you've been keeping on top of the fridge for the past six months at Sarah Palin FansIf they'd only scheduled it a day later, I could celebrate National Pi Day with something extra-specially-apropos to throw at them and feel completely justified.
I plan to show my ball bag in solidarity with the teabaggers.
I hope they have their long-form certificates to operate a motor vehicle handy.
It's the daylight savings time switch shit this Sunday early AM. Let the chaos begin.
Don't forget that we're supposed to be not buying gas this weekend to boycott the gas companies (for one day) to show them and get them to lower gas prices!
How are we supposed to tell which Palintards are pulling over to try to throw Obama in the tsunami water with the Buddha statues, which are pulling over 'cause they've run out of gas and which are pulling over 'cause they can't figure out how to change their clock?
This is the second most stupid idea I’ve ever heard. I say second only because I’m sure there is something more stupid but I just can’t think of it right now.
McCain/Palin 2008
THERE IT IS!
New Coke?
McDonald's McDLT?
We'll be welcomed as liberators?
And the war will pay for itself?
I hope Palin supporters enjoy being butt-rammed by intoxicated drivers because you're seriously asking for it.
When your highest political value is you don't like to pay taxes, what could better symbolize your movement than an incomprehensible gesture on the side of roads that are hugely subsidized with federal tax dollars?
I'm guessing that I probably won't be able to see this from my commie, pinko, socialist Metro system, so I may have to rent a commie, pinko, socialist Zipcar to witness this one…
…and throw things. Always throwing things.
I've got a "robust" Lab, so if you need some "output" to help with your "input" to the Palinites, lemme know. I'll even go to the dog park if you have a trebuchet.
If you are really supporting $arah Palin, after pulling over to the side of the road, wouldn't you then have to fly half-way across the world to
cover up your daughters' out-of=wedlockgive birth to a child without stopping for medical attention once?Or you could just drive to some point along the highway, decide to stop, then say "fuck it. I quit." and go home with participating in the awesome protest.
I'm willing to assume that Trigger is actually her kid, in one of those classic "retard begets retard" stories, but, yes, that cross-continental 17 hour flight: Okay, so she's not lying about the kid's maternity, but the story means she's either reckless, malicious and a hypocrite about that "pro-life" crap, or the biggest moran ever.
SPOILER ALERT: all of them, all at once, all the time. Yes, let's make her our president.
I'm willing to do this, but only if I can pull over in front of turkeys being slaughtered, and I get tons of free clothes and stuff for myself and my family.
"What's Sharia? Me and my constituents, we're against anything that sounds foreign except that methamphetamine, ung huh, we like that, yes siree bob. "
More people have been made aware of this event by Wonkette than by whatever that other website is (ratscrotum.com?).
*sigh.* I'm hoping, for the sake of our better Samaritans, it's being publicized en espagnol somewhere.
And I hope they remember that they are supposed to light a ceremonial Patriot Fire in the passenger seat while they're pulled over. The smoke is to show the sheeple that they mean business!
Some of that smoke is from the George Foreman© Healthy Cooking Grills, plugged into the cigarette lighters of the cars. But a lot of it is just the ample exhaust from the cars themselves, just running hard & heavy in park all that time. Nobody around to say, okay, 'stop the stopping and go home now'…..
Public Service Announcement: Don't forget this Sunday is the first annual "Pull Over the Side of the Road This Weekend With Sarah Palin". You won't want to miss this show of solidarity with America's next woman president. Sure, the Obama administration has complicated matters by scheduling the daylight savings time switch for the same day. But to avoid any conflicts, be sure to abide by that old adage "Spring Behind, Fall Forward" and set your clocks back an hour, right before you go to bed on Saturday night. That way you'll all pull over at the right time, 4 PM eastern on Sunday afternoon. You're welcome.
You aren't by any chance a Chicago precinct captain? That's how they get out the vote in the black neighborhoods.
"America's next woman president"
I see you have no problem outing Martin van Buren as the first. Well played.
That retard is still downfisting. Isn't there a law that they have to have milk and cookie breaks & nap time?
i seriously cannot wait to see this. overweight weenies in run down ford escorts sitting by the side of the road maniacally smiling imagining themselves sticking it to the man.
They should have the audio version of George Carlin's "What Am I Doing in New Jersey" playing the whole time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzBAmj6HogQ&fe...
I bet the highway patrol thinks this is a great idea.
I'm still advocating that the lemmings just drive off a cliff.
Just remember teabaggers, drive your cars, not your rascalls. And remember to flail your arms and scream at every passer-by.
National Pull Over on the Side of the Road Day. Hmmm…was National Wear Different Colored Socks Day already taken?
Several Christmases ago, my Mother-in-Law gave me a pair of nifty Holiday sox. One was white with a red toe and the other, of course, was red with a white toe.
The first time I wore them she said "Why don't your socks match?"
And roll down your windows and shout, "I'm stupid as hell and I'm not going to take it any morz!"
I can't wait to Roll… To a STOP!! and pelt those motherfuckers with as many eggs as I can.
that's a great idea. reminds me when i was the near victim of a random drive-by egging one night.
life is rough out here in these gentrified urban streets.
I need to pull over and take a piss.
Eat asparagus two hours before and aim for the convertibles if its warm. From the overpass.
No fair, I drive a convertible!
Sorry, this is still better than National Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I will be pulling over and pulling on my throbber in solidarity with the many caring patriots who can't wait to get that rascal out of the White (people's) House. I hope any inquiring patrolmen will understand that devotion to country is more important than devotion to the law. And that since Sarah Palin is going to be played in some TV movie by a very exciting actress, it is Ok to masturbate for freedom in America again.
I do not know what you mean(REALLY) But Talk like a Pirate Day is fun- I just don't know enough Somalian to participate.
The organizers of the coming "a-park-alypse" do realize just how difficult it's going to be for the majority of supporters to participate, don't they?
I mean, those cars are up on blocks in front of pizza box-patched double-wide day care center meth labs for a fucking reason, fellas, and it sure as hell ain't 'cause their owners need a sturdy place to sit and catch their breath on the way back from their bullet hole-riddled paint bucket mailboxes.
Though they do need that, too.
Haha, I tried to add an adendumb to that effect, but ya done beat me to it.
There's a two-for-one sale on 18 packs of eggs at Safeway.
It's a sign from Jeebus, I just know it.
Or you could just stay home and refresh Wonkette over and over, making Ken Layne a multimillionaire.
I do that during the week. Weekends are for catching up on disaster porn on the Weather Channel.
Oh yeah. My son's first phrase was "your local cable and satellite provider". "Channel" was very important to that little guy. I, of course, have no idea how he got hooked.
Hey, that's pretty good for a little kid. My son's was whatever the slogan was from some allergy commercial (it had a CG talking bee), I can't remember. But when he was a baby his first word was "pizza." Because we eat a lot of pizza.
The down-fisting troll is alive and fapping on this thread. Up-fists for all!
Oh, the little bitch would just sell out to AOL.
It just means the roads this weekend will be faster and safer thanks to all the morans who pulled off the side of the road.
You've obviously never been to Houston. A car parked on the side of the road must be looked at very closely, resulting in instant gridlock – you never know when you will see a car fire or an arrest or other event of interest.
Have they fixed the tow truck issue? Last time I lived there, 1995, there would be fistfights between the tow truck drivers because the city didn't designate a "duty tow truck company," and it was "first at the scene gets to tow the car." Good times on the SW Freeway!!!
They fiddle around the edges but actually regulating the tow trucks in a meaningful way would be the end of life as we know it.
Fistfights are a rare occurrence but you can count on any incident to attract 10-12 tow trucks at a minimum, all of them zooming along the shoulder or jumping the curb to get there. Good times.
At damn near $4 a gallon, I sure as hell won't be out looking for them.
false-god Buddhism robots
I saw one of those once on an episode of Gatchaman. Now, a giant Snowbilly Grifter robot would be truly terrifying. I would definitely pull my car off to the side of the road for that.
And another reminder of MY planned protest for the weekend: let's all shove grapefruits up our asses, for freedumbs, and to protest the endless river of shit that pours forth from this woman and her attendant gnomes.
You may wish to stock up on Crisco, and here's a little tip: a glass of wine and a hot bath beforehand might ease the passage, as t'were. Word to the wise.
We'll show her…
This just in from The Galaxy NewsPostEnquirer (formerly the bathroom at the Springfield Weenie Hut Junior, stall 3):
"In response to today's News from Earth about Sarah Palin's plans, the Moon has announced its plans to build a sign 900 miles across that says (with an arrow):
"I"M WITH STUPID"
You would think that out of concern for her followers Sarah would ask them not to do something so potentially dangerous. That's the problem with being a megalomaniac, she is too self absorbed to ask them to channel their energy into something else. Wouldn't it be nice if she were to ask them to bake a pan of brownies and take it down to the local fire station instead?
I'm going to make a sign for my car that reads:
HEY BRISTOL, IT'S KINDA HARD TO SWEEP A GAL OFF HER FEET WITH HER LEGS ALREADY IN THE AIR!
Yeah, I will probably look foolish. You won't be able to wipe the smile off my face with a freight train though.
Bris wipes off HER smile with a cum rag.
Just sayin'.
Nah, I am sure she just slaps on a lobster bib. Why not? She probably has crabs anyway. Might as well make it a combo meal.
"You would think that out of concern for her followers Sarah would ask them not to do something so potentially dangerous. "
Oh, I think Gramma Grizzle Bear Face gets off on the idea that her cult followers would put themselves in danger for her (or would be willing to hurt others and suffer the legal repercussions; either works for her!). So no, that monster would never discourage an event like this.
It brings to mind her early speeches when she would say that Barry was "palling around with terrorists" and someone shouted "kill him" and she acted like she didn't hear that. Just as long as her hands don't get dirty she doesn't care what people do, dangerous or not.
Thank god for the oppurtunity for regular commonsense folks to do something REAL, rather than what the professional left considers *significant* or *rational* or something all fancypants like that.
We've just gotta pull over to show that we're not gonna let them take away our constitution, and that also the president is black and we do not approve of these actions as such.
GoStop, Team !!!All Palin fans: "JUST QUIT"
"Cars Across America"! Except, you know, instead of showing solidarity with starving kids, it's all about enabling some vicious twatmuffin.
If they really wanted to show their Republican cred, they'd drive the whole thing backwards.
Oh shit, I forgot about this! I'm planning to be at ramming speed all day Sunday, just in case…
that's what she said.
This is sponsored by BP so you need to get out and fill your tank, then you can waste gas by driving somewhere to pull off the road and create back-ups and accidents.
I repeat, what a dumb idea! Running out of fake rage much? And don't even use the words "sit in" in vain, because your teabagger ancestors were on the other side of that counter.
They forgot to instruct eveveryone to roll down their windows, take out their drivers' licenses, place them in plastic bags, and then vigorously wave them about.
Damn, I don't have a long-form driver's license…
Then get your Muslin ass back to Kenya…or Indonesia…or Hawaii…
Whereever…
As all y'all have heard by now, we here on the California coast were under a tsunami warning this morning. I turned on the local NPR affiliate when I woke up just before the top of the hour and heard a traffic report that reported that "for some reason, there are a number of cars pulled over to the side of the road on Hwy 92." (This was even before I heard about the quake and the tsunami warning on the news headlines.) My first coherent thought was "But the Palin thing wasn't supposed to be till Sunday!"
As it turns out, it was people fleeing the low-lying ocean towns who thought that driving up the main roads over the hill and pulling over to the side of the road – blocking access for emergency vehicles – instead of continuing over the hill in search of, oh, say, a park or a church or a Safeway to park in was a good idea. The CHP was Mightily Not Amused. They'll have to rename the town of Half Moon Bay to Half-Wit Bay.
Well, Sunday is our day to clean out the 4 catboxes and we do live near an interstate highway. Coincidence? I think not.
Years ago a Wasilla dude got charged with assault for throwing a bucket of water on war protesters in near sub-zero temperatures. His defense? He was a patriot with a son serving in the military.
Yesterday five militia folks (friends of Todd Palin and Joe (who?) Miller) were arrested for planning to take out some State Troopers and a judge. Why? Because they want to 'stop the madness' that is civil society.
Days like this make me want to strangle my fellow residents for ever letting Sarah out of the Valley.
http://www.newsminer.com/view/full_story/12286233...
I saw an article about those morans and wondered if it was the same treasonous secessionist twits associated with Todd Palin , hoping for more.
I will be on the road much of tomorrow; and, as a responsible citizen, I hereby promise to dial 911 and report any vehicle stopped on the side of the road to the proper law enforcement agency. I feel it is my duty, considering there must be an emergency or they would not be stopped on the side of the road/highway. I will insist a unit be dispatched immediately to assist these unfortunate travelers. If there is a seeming reluctance to sending an officer, I may feel obliged to add details which might alter their view; such as, I thought I saw a pistol, they seemed intoxicated, or there was an ongoing fight… You're welcome.
Excellent! And thank you, Tommy.
Can ya do it again on Sunday?
You bet yer sweet ass!
ttommy,
If I have never thanked you for your fine service to this country, I certainly would like to now. Your bravery and dedication is greatly appreciated. For without you, the freedom we enjoy would not exist.
You are too kind.
Great ideas one and all. Myself, I'm just gonna sit back with my handle of Tito's in front of the teevee and watch the news of y'all's guerrilla actions. First one of yez that gets called a thug or a terrorist on Fox News, I'll go back and upfist every post you have ever made.
Man, I'm sorry I missed out on all the action today. Stupid hexavalent chromium!
In solidarity with the HALFBREED FURINER MAUMAU PREZNIT I will be home watching the ultramuslin sport of basketball.
This weekend, the Palin Nationalist's standing cars will be more like them.
Going nowhere, but still somehow continuing to waste everyone's time, money, patience and precious resources.
XTRA PROETEST IDEA!!! USE VACKUME HOSE 2 LOAD TRUK WITH FREEDUM SMOG FOR RELACKSING NAPP!!! THEN WAKE UP AMERICAN SHEAPLE!! REFRESHED AS AN ALASKAN BREZE!!!
Japanese human tragedy, suffering, death, devastation, and nuclear crisis. It's so unfair to Sarah.
My very first thought too. Thanks for the empathetic response… Sarah– so often has no chance to speak out about these little political affronts– world economy folds, qadhafi bombs civilians, hearings on america's al-qaeda, japan melts down — or the over-riding toll they take on the Palin family.
Look, what happens, right, when putin raises his head, over the airspace, well, yeah— do we really need to say more, WWJD, etc, as if ???
No sign of this event here in Dumfukistan. Any other intel out there in Wonkettia?
I'm sure Fox will fly a helicopter over and film the parking lot at the local flea market, and claim it as a response to Sarah's call for inaction.
What's killing me is that map, with the tiny little cutout with Puerto Rico in the lower RH corner. I just can't figure that part out. Puerto Rican teabaggers? Really?
Neocon American Princess
NAP……………..Sarah Palin
America is a great place to live but these people think they're in Hell. Perhaps they'd prefer the no-government libertarianism of Somalia. Or the no-income-tax paradise of Afghanistan. Or the 40-year life expectancy in Albania. Or the 10x murder rate of Honduras.
Hey TP hippies: Love it or leave it.
Any experiences today? Drive-by moonings or fruitings? Did anyone actually turn up for this cluster fuck?
Yeah, so far I'm seeing a whole lot o' nothin' much.
Tomorrow, we can expect "Stand Up America" to proclaim, "HUGE SUCCESS!"
Friday I was at some other site discussing the 14 Dems of Wisconsin and some 'tard suggested that, in support of them, we should all park our cars on the side of the road today.
Brilliant, I tells ya!
Well here it is Sunday afternoon, and NO LIVEBLOGGING!
WTF?!?!?1/?!?
A whole lotta "meh" goin' on.
My google-news search turned up nothing. Is it safe to assume that Stand Up America got stood up?
Just another Palin FAIL to be ignored by the media.
Remember that Föx show she was going to do, American Stories or some shit like that? Yeah, me neither.
Or Mein Alaskampf II, how'd that work out for ya?
Fake interviews by a fake politico of real people interviewed for other subjects didn't materialize for some reason?
I think Larry the Cable Guy took that one over for Sarah, his "travelogue" for All Along America has a lot more saleability.
How is Sarah's stand-up routine shaping up? Her gig on Leno was soooo promising!?
I drove 200 miles round-trip today to see my folks. Didn't see anyone pulled over on the side of the road except me, 81 in a 70. Fuck. Glad I wasn't in a real hurry.
Driving around Berkeley, California today, I must say I didn't notice an unusual number of cars stopped by the side of the road at 1 PM PDT.
Perhaps the Palindrones/teabaggers failed to reach critical mass because many of them refuse to honor daily savings time, a well known socialist plot?
Critical Mess.
I ran chores all day, up and down the highway here in New Mexico and I didn't see a single car and there was no mention of this on the evening news. Did Sarah's followers quit halfway through their drive? You betcha!
There was one guy on I-25 around Belen driving about 45mph with his hazard lights on. Perhaps the Palinites are just really bad at following instructions?
Confidential not to F. Lynn Vogel, I think your eagle has the mange.
So, how did that stoppy, wavey thing work for the Teatards yesterday? Even here, deep in the dark heart of Dumfukistan, no sign of stopped cars at 15:00 hours.
I was gonna do the whole car parky thing yesterday, but then I asked Roger Ailes and he told me to stay out of it.
So, I did…you betcha!
So… What ever happened with this?
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