THE FINAL FRONTIER  11:09 am March 11, 2011

And Now, Good News: Gabrielle Giffords Will Attend Husband’s Shuttle Launch

by Jack Stuef

Representative Gabrielle Giffords is likely to take a break from her rehabilitation next month to see off her astronaut husband, Mark Kelly, personally during the launching of his shuttle, aides said Thursday.


The Arizona congresswoman has not been seen in public since Jan. 8

Give her a break, New York Times! It’s pretty understandable! [NYT]

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Barbara_i March 11, 2011 at 11:11 am

This woman is a national treasure.

PublicLuxury March 11, 2011 at 11:13 am

Go Gabby!

harry_palmer March 11, 2011 at 11:15 am

Might not be a bad idea, getting off of Earth.

Doktor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 11:32 am

Assuming there's anywhere left to land….

jus_wonderin March 11, 2011 at 11:45 am

Even no possible landing might be preferable.

Hatrabbit March 11, 2011 at 11:15 am

ummm … ummm … well, good.

I can't possibly go snarky on Gabrielle Giffords. No fair Wonkette.

Texan_Bulldog March 11, 2011 at 11:17 am

Good news, indeed. Where's the downfister now?

Bonzos_Bed_Time March 11, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Mom told him to go clean the garage.

"Ahhhh, Mom…"

Jukesgrrl March 12, 2011 at 2:19 am

They're over at Huffington Post, demanding that she resign.

GuyClinch March 11, 2011 at 11:18 am

She and her husband do make a pretty remarkable couple. Have fun getting out for a bit, Gabby!

Heartless downfist troll in 3, 2, 1…

SorosBot March 11, 2011 at 11:24 am

Good; keep recovering Gabby.

hagajim March 11, 2011 at 11:27 am

Great news…too bad the rest of the day will be filled with useless swill….unless of course you are looking for snark opportunities.

tribbzthesquidz March 11, 2011 at 11:29 am

Thoughts and prayers for the Gabbz! May her Goddessness continue without further interruption.

Mumbletypeg March 11, 2011 at 11:30 am

Good news like this should be distilled for injecting into my veins frontal lobe whenever the bad news lurking a mere thread away feels like a nuclear-warmed, Palin-chastened, Bachmann-driven aftershock.

ttommyunger March 11, 2011 at 11:31 am

…and this affects Sara Palin how?

elviouslyqueer March 11, 2011 at 11:46 am

Oh no worries. Sarah's spin on this will be that not only is the shuttle launch another epic waste of taxpayer munnies sanctioned by Democrats like Gabby, but that hubby Mark is getting some profiteering kickbacks from this also, as well.

ttommyunger March 11, 2011 at 11:49 am

Of course! How obtuse of me.

ttommyunger March 11, 2011 at 11:47 am

Brilliant, but I thought her $800 glasses doubled as cum-shields, amIright?

DustBowlBlues March 11, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Democrats are wasting money sending up the shuttle and that's Alaska' money? She knows how Gabby feels, having sent Todd off to fish, which everyone knows is dangerous? We should be mourning the destruction in Japan, not celebrating one woman's event?

I admit it. My imagination can't possibly match the grifter's ability to make her the victim in even good news.

ttommyunger March 11, 2011 at 7:32 pm


wee[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 11:42 am

And Beck will roll out his chalkboards and prove this to be a muslin conspiracy in 3, 2, 1…

ManchuCandidate March 11, 2011 at 11:42 am

Good for her. Just 2 months after.

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 11:44 am

Obviously, Giffords is recovering so quickly because she has the best health-care in the world.


problemwithcaring March 11, 2011 at 3:02 pm

And if the government would just stop meddling, the free-market would bestow all Americans with the equal access to health care and flexible employment that Gabby's government provides her.

V572625694 March 11, 2011 at 7:21 pm

See that's where you fail to understand the equitable beauty of the free market. It provides goods and services to anyone who can afford them. I'd like a Ferrari but I can't afford one, so I have to drive a 5-year old Hyundai. I'd like to visit my doctor for regular tests and checkups, but I can't afford it, so I have to die. Is that unfair? Not at all! Because the free market will also provide expensive drugs and procedures to keep me alive until whatever pitiful resources I have are drained. Only a socialist healthcare system would let me stay in my house.

problemwithcaring March 11, 2011 at 9:12 pm

I was being sarcastic, jesus fucking humorless christ.

V572625694 March 11, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Me too.

Callyson March 11, 2011 at 11:45 am

If I worked at CNN I would do a split screen: one of Gabby seeing her hubby off, the other of Bachmann on one of her rants. You decide, America…

JustPixelz March 11, 2011 at 11:46 am

It would be a sad if Captain Kelly accidentally dropped a Glock while in space. And that Glock hit the NRA building. Perhaps if someone could place a surveyor's mark on the building so he'll know what NOT to hit. Of course, guns from space is what the Founders intended — same as semi-automatic, 31-round handguns.

harry_palmer March 11, 2011 at 11:53 am

Waiting for the Sarah Palin twat: "This is a plsure jnkt he only got to go on thru wife's inflnce, a la Joe Wilson's trip to Niger. Tell Obama time to cut spc pgm."

Monsieur_Grumpe March 11, 2011 at 11:54 am

I think I'll only read this today.

Barbara_i March 11, 2011 at 12:08 pm

I just read that Gabby's doctors hope to reattach her skull in May. That sent a shiver down my spine.

Steverino247 March 11, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Six months is the standard, so this is good news. It's not unusual for people to be able to do stuff like this trip to the launch but she will likely not be photographed and will be wearing some kind of protective helmet as it's just a skin flap protecting her brain right now on the left side.

donner_froh March 11, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I'm amazed that there is a standard for such seemingly impossible things. Maybe I am too easily amazed by science and stuff.

chicken[redack] March 11, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Though I usually abhor the death penalty, since she lives in Arizona anyway, I am ready to hear the news that says she'll outlive her assailant.

donner_froh March 11, 2011 at 3:06 pm

No kidding.

This shouldn't be a difficult ethical decision since I am opposed to and have campaigned against the death penalty. However when the news of the shooting first hit I thought that since Arizona has the death penalty and since shooting a member of congress is a federal crime that can get the death penalty that this guy would die for his crimes and it was a good thing.

EatsBabyDingos March 11, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Yay for both. Mark Kelly is a class guy. When my wife was starting with her job at Alaska Airlines five years ago, Mr. Kelly (yes, its okay to use honorifics for the deserving) had a bag missplaced Third day of the job and she had already been cussed out a dozen times, and wasn't sure what to expect from Mr. Kelly. He joked about the luggage and left. Ten minutes later the bag was found, she called Mr. Kelly (who was still in his cab) and he came back for the bag. He was kind and gracious, and wanted to thank my wife for her assist. He then gave her one of his patches from his first Space Shuttle flight from 2000, and said to take good care of it because it was one of the last ones he had. He left, taking one of the station manager cards, and sent an email that complimented her dedication! ____Thanks, Mr. Kelly, for being a Real American Hero (not a Bud Lite hero)

Gopherit March 11, 2011 at 12:38 pm

They are putting her skull back in, too. She will officially have less holes in her head than all of the fucking republicans in this shithole.

SayItWithWookies March 11, 2011 at 12:47 pm

That's incredible. This will be exhausting for her, no doubt, but it shows a huge amount of dedication. Please don't be disappointed if she looks in worse shape than all the optimistic assessments might lead us to believe, though — we've been hearing so many good things that it's easy to forget that she's still got a looooong way to go before she's back to her pre-shooting self. Still, that's great news.

JoeBiteme March 11, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Gabby is a friend, and I can honestly say, one of the most extraordinary public servants I've ever encountered.
We were blessed to have her as a Representative before, and we're doubly blessed to have her coming back to whip the rednecks' asses in 2012.

PresBeeblebrox March 11, 2011 at 1:16 pm

When it was announced that Commander Kelly was going to be on the last shuttle flight, the news websites were peppered with insane/batshit crazy comments in the vein of how this proved that NASA was a useless liberal agency which was just pandering to Big Government, etc. Jeebus.

Anyway, this news should be happy-making, but instead I haz a giant sad, in a weird apocalyptic sense, because:

1. Gabby Giffords was shot in the head by a fucking lunatic who should never have had a gun, and…
2. she is going to be watching, in her injured state, THE LAST SHUTTLE MISSION, EVAR.
3. While the Shuttle program is a relic of the Nixon administration (love the old photos of Tricky Dick holding a Shuttle model – it's like something out of Watchmen), it was stilled a manned spaceflight program. Now we have nothing to replace it. If we want to put a human being in space anytime in the next 20 years, we will have to pay the Russians or the Chinese bolshoi dollars. By that point, India or even Brazil could easily have a manned spaceflight program.

Instead of rockets and space stations in our future, all I see is collapsing bridges and crumbling buildings.

V572625694 March 11, 2011 at 7:26 pm

You look back in history for advanced civilizations which discovered new worlds, explored them and then said, "Ehngh, this is too expensive and dangerous. Let's just stay home and eat Cheetos and watch teevee."

And, aside from the Italians, you can't find any. At least they had good food to eat.

iburl March 11, 2011 at 1:23 pm

They believe that his having cited Mein Kampf as a favorite book makes him a liberal. Because Nazi's were SOCHILISTS! Nevermind that he gunned down a bunch of Liberals.

DustBowlBlues March 11, 2011 at 5:37 pm

In Teabag Nation, that just proves that they had it coming.

MinAgain March 11, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Excellent. Although I am a bit sad about this being the last shuttle mission.

DashboardBuddha March 11, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Dear God,

I know I'm at best a mediocre Christian. I sometimes have a hateful heart, I'm selfish and sad. However, I do my best. Please watch over the launch and let no harm come to Gabby's husband or crew. Because, if you do, I will still believe in you, but I will call you a shitheeled motherfucker for the rest of my days.

DustBowlBlues March 11, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Is it okay for me to share this prayer at my Lenten study group Sunday?

DashboardBuddha March 11, 2011 at 6:14 pm

I'd be honored.

Lionel[redacted]Esq March 11, 2011 at 3:13 pm

But, isn't the question now: Will she be carrying a Glock for self-protection? I mean, she is from Arizona still, right?

MozakiBlocks March 12, 2011 at 7:39 am

In the immortal words of our Vice President…

"This is a big fucking deal."

jus_wonderin March 12, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Awesome. PBS, last night, said she is conversing in full sentences. I hope all goes well with the liftoff and flight. And I hope there is not another crazy out there gunning for her.

imissopus March 11, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Girls, girls! You're both pretty!

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