the final frontier

And Now, Good News: Gabrielle Giffords Will Attend Husband’s Shuttle Launch

Representative Gabrielle Giffords is likely to take a break from her rehabilitation next month to see off her astronaut husband, Mark Kelly, personally during the launching of his shuttle, aides said Thursday.

Hooray!

The Arizona congresswoman has not been seen in public since Jan. 8

Give her a break, New York Times! It’s pretty understandable! [NYT]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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52 comments

  1. Hatrabbit

    ummm … ummm … well, good.

    I can't possibly go snarky on Gabrielle Giffords. No fair Wonkette.

  2. GuyClinch

    She and her husband do make a pretty remarkable couple. Have fun getting out for a bit, Gabby!

    Heartless downfist troll in 3, 2, 1…

  3. hagajim

    Great news…too bad the rest of the day will be filled with useless swill….unless of course you are looking for snark opportunities.

  4. tribbzthesquidz

    Thoughts and prayers for the Gabbz! May her Goddessness continue without further interruption.

  5. Mumbletypeg

    Good news like this should be distilled for injecting into my veins frontal lobe whenever the bad news lurking a mere thread away feels like a nuclear-warmed, Palin-chastened, Bachmann-driven aftershock.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Oh no worries. Sarah's spin on this will be that not only is the shuttle launch another epic waste of taxpayer munnies sanctioned by Democrats like Gabby, but that hubby Mark is getting some profiteering kickbacks from this also, as well.

    2. DustBowlBlues

      Democrats are wasting money sending up the shuttle and that's Alaska' money? She knows how Gabby feels, having sent Todd off to fish, which everyone knows is dangerous? We should be mourning the destruction in Japan, not celebrating one woman's event?

      I admit it. My imagination can't possibly match the grifter's ability to make her the victim in even good news.

  6. horsedreamer_1

    Obviously, Giffords is recovering so quickly because she has the best health-care in the world.

    USA! USA!

    1. problemwithcaring

      And if the government would just stop meddling, the free-market would bestow all Americans with the equal access to health care and flexible employment that Gabby's government provides her.

      1. V572625694

        See that's where you fail to understand the equitable beauty of the free market. It provides goods and services to anyone who can afford them. I'd like a Ferrari but I can't afford one, so I have to drive a 5-year old Hyundai. I'd like to visit my doctor for regular tests and checkups, but I can't afford it, so I have to die. Is that unfair? Not at all! Because the free market will also provide expensive drugs and procedures to keep me alive until whatever pitiful resources I have are drained. Only a socialist healthcare system would let me stay in my house.

  7. Callyson

    If I worked at CNN I would do a split screen: one of Gabby seeing her hubby off, the other of Bachmann on one of her rants. You decide, America…

  8. JustPixelz

    It would be a sad if Captain Kelly accidentally dropped a Glock while in space. And that Glock hit the NRA building. Perhaps if someone could place a surveyor's mark on the building so he'll know what NOT to hit. Of course, guns from space is what the Founders intended — same as semi-automatic, 31-round handguns.

  9. harry_palmer

    Waiting for the Sarah Palin twat: "This is a plsure jnkt he only got to go on thru wife's inflnce, a la Joe Wilson's trip to Niger. Tell Obama time to cut spc pgm."

  10. Barbara_i

    I just read that Gabby's doctors hope to reattach her skull in May. That sent a shiver down my spine.

    1. Steverino247

      Six months is the standard, so this is good news. It's not unusual for people to be able to do stuff like this trip to the launch but she will likely not be photographed and will be wearing some kind of protective helmet as it's just a skin flap protecting her brain right now on the left side.

  11. chicken[redack]

    Though I usually abhor the death penalty, since she lives in Arizona anyway, I am ready to hear the news that says she'll outlive her assailant.

    1. donner_froh

      No kidding.

      This shouldn't be a difficult ethical decision since I am opposed to and have campaigned against the death penalty. However when the news of the shooting first hit I thought that since Arizona has the death penalty and since shooting a member of congress is a federal crime that can get the death penalty that this guy would die for his crimes and it was a good thing.

  12. EatsBabyDingos

    Yay for both. Mark Kelly is a class guy. When my wife was starting with her job at Alaska Airlines five years ago, Mr. Kelly (yes, its okay to use honorifics for the deserving) had a bag missplaced Third day of the job and she had already been cussed out a dozen times, and wasn't sure what to expect from Mr. Kelly. He joked about the luggage and left. Ten minutes later the bag was found, she called Mr. Kelly (who was still in his cab) and he came back for the bag. He was kind and gracious, and wanted to thank my wife for her assist. He then gave her one of his patches from his first Space Shuttle flight from 2000, and said to take good care of it because it was one of the last ones he had. He left, taking one of the station manager cards, and sent an email that complimented her dedication! ____Thanks, Mr. Kelly, for being a Real American Hero (not a Bud Lite hero)

  13. Gopherit

    They are putting her skull back in, too. She will officially have less holes in her head than all of the fucking republicans in this shithole.

  14. SayItWithWookies

    That's incredible. This will be exhausting for her, no doubt, but it shows a huge amount of dedication. Please don't be disappointed if she looks in worse shape than all the optimistic assessments might lead us to believe, though — we've been hearing so many good things that it's easy to forget that she's still got a looooong way to go before she's back to her pre-shooting self. Still, that's great news.

  15. JoeBiteme

    Gabby is a friend, and I can honestly say, one of the most extraordinary public servants I've ever encountered.
    We were blessed to have her as a Representative before, and we're doubly blessed to have her coming back to whip the rednecks' asses in 2012.

  16. PresBeeblebrox

    When it was announced that Commander Kelly was going to be on the last shuttle flight, the news websites were peppered with insane/batshit crazy comments in the vein of how this proved that NASA was a useless liberal agency which was just pandering to Big Government, etc. Jeebus.

    Anyway, this news should be happy-making, but instead I haz a giant sad, in a weird apocalyptic sense, because:

    1. Gabby Giffords was shot in the head by a fucking lunatic who should never have had a gun, and…
    2. she is going to be watching, in her injured state, THE LAST SHUTTLE MISSION, EVAR.
    3. While the Shuttle program is a relic of the Nixon administration (love the old photos of Tricky Dick holding a Shuttle model – it's like something out of Watchmen), it was stilled a manned spaceflight program. Now we have nothing to replace it. If we want to put a human being in space anytime in the next 20 years, we will have to pay the Russians or the Chinese bolshoi dollars. By that point, India or even Brazil could easily have a manned spaceflight program.

    Instead of rockets and space stations in our future, all I see is collapsing bridges and crumbling buildings.

    1. V572625694

      You look back in history for advanced civilizations which discovered new worlds, explored them and then said, "Ehngh, this is too expensive and dangerous. Let's just stay home and eat Cheetos and watch teevee."

      And, aside from the Italians, you can't find any. At least they had good food to eat.

  17. iburl

    They believe that his having cited Mein Kampf as a favorite book makes him a liberal. Because Nazi's were SOCHILISTS! Nevermind that he gunned down a bunch of Liberals.

  18. DashboardBuddha

    Dear God,

    I know I'm at best a mediocre Christian. I sometimes have a hateful heart, I'm selfish and sad. However, I do my best. Please watch over the launch and let no harm come to Gabby's husband or crew. Because, if you do, I will still believe in you, but I will call you a shitheeled motherfucker for the rest of my days.

  19. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    But, isn't the question now: Will she be carrying a Glock for self-protection? I mean, she is from Arizona still, right?

  20. jus_wonderin

    Awesome. PBS, last night, said she is conversing in full sentences. I hope all goes well with the liftoff and flight. And I hope there is not another crazy out there gunning for her.

Comments are closed.