If God was angry about those Peter King hearings, he shouldn’t have taken it out on Japan. But here’s the verdict at this hour: Hundreds of bodies have washed up from the tsunami, people are being evacuated to and fro, and dozens of what would normally seem to be very bad earthquakes are hitting Japan in the aftershocks. About 88,000 are said to be missing. Thankfully, Japan is a first-world country that has developed and used many technologies to make earthquakes and tsunamis less deadly, so this would all be a lot worse anywhere else in the world. Still, worrying things like this will continue to emerge throughout the day: The country has declared an “atomic power emergency” after the cooling system failed at a nuclear power plant.
Here’s video of what Glenn Beck sees constantly, whether his eyes are open or not. But this time the rest of us can too:
Japan declared a state of atomic power emergency after the country was hit by its largest-ever magnitude earthquake, while saying no radiation leaks have been detected at or near any nuclear power plants as of Friday evening.
The International Atomic Energy Agency is scrambling for details from contacts with Japan’s industry ministry, while saying in a statement that at least four nuclear power plants ”closest to the quake have been safely shut down” after the 2:46 p.m. quake with a magnitude 8.8.
If you need any more evidence these are the end times, Gallagher collapsed during his watermelon-smashing routine last night.
Scary stuff! And in other, unimportant news, Wonkette’s Jack Stuef is still scheduled to fly to Tokyo tomorrow, and considering he paid upfront for a hotel reservation that seems to be unrefundable, well, it’ll be more interesting than cherry-blossom season. [NPR/Kyodo News]
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When does the giant spinning turtle show up?
Gamera is really neat.
Gamera is full of meat!
We all love you Gam-e-ra.
When Godzilla shows up–damn, way too soon.
You know how Godzilla fed off those power grids, y'know how that's what he ate… were those power grids in China?
Man, I feel awful for laughing, but this was hilarious.
I don't feel much better for posting it. : (
Pasta of the day? Radiatore!
If Gallagher collapsed during his routine it is just because of the shock of a paying audience member showing up.
To God,
That Slege-O-Matic on Japan….Not cool dude. Not cool.
Signed,
A disappointed Baconzgood.
I was just coming around to liking sushi, too.
The grimly optimistic news is it seems there will be fewer Japanese folks hogging all your tekka maki.
Good luck on getting ino Tokyo-the main airport has been trashed.
We are thinking of you, neighbor Totoro.
Which preacher will be first to point out that Japan once had a gay pride parade?
And that Hawaii continues to support the lie that Barry was born there.
& while the Hawai'ians put down gay marriage, it was a product of Mormon voting.
They are also cool with medicinal marijuana.
Pat Robertson me guess
And vending machines that sell used schoolgirl panties. Jesus really hates that. Also, dirty cartoons.
I heart you for this new avatar – and your level of commitment overall.
Gallagher's still alive?
And has multiplied, apparently.
He is…..But not his career. His career is as dead as the doo-doo bird.
Depends on your definition of "alive".
"These are 'hard times.' But they are not 'end times.'" –Jon Stewart
And to be fair, a third-world country would rebound much faster than a first-world country.
Like Haiti?
Republicans are already taking measures to make sure no financial aid goes to Japan.
"Sarah Palin" blames President Obama in 3 … 2 … 1…
With the Rushbo "hate" machine mere seconds behind her.
Jack, aren't you glad you bought that traveler's insurance?
Wait, what?
Well he still gets to have a nice little "staycation"; gah I hate that non-word and all others like it.
Is that what all those umbrellas are for?
He can get a refund if the quake has swallowed up the airport/airline he was supposed to use. He might have to actually show up at the airport, ready to fly, to get it, however. The airline would rather have you "not show up" and therefore be S.O.L., refund-wise.
[/former airline employee]
Sounds a little like rescission.
Gov. Bobby Jindal et al. need to talk more about slashing earthquake research, so that way earthquakes can never happen again.
Chavez Free Market Hating Earthquake Machine To Receive Majority Of Blame.
Knowing how efficient Japan is in dealing with natural disasters, I would guess that Narita Airport (which is where Tokyo's airport is) will be up and running shortly. It was Sendai Airport that was trashed NOT Narita/Tokyo.
But building a nuclear plant on a fault line was fucking brilliant.
That makes it easier to hatch the Godzilla egg inside the reactor!
Japan sits on the edge of the "Ring of Fire", a tectonic plate boundary. There isn't much land in Japan that isn't in a fault zone.
Beat me to it. Plus, even if you don't know it is in a fault zone when you build it, it probably still is (just ask everyone in Alameda County who found out where the Heyward fault really ran after the Loma Prieta quake).
In college I lived literally on top of the Hayward Fault in a house owned by CalTrans and rented very inexpensively to students and welfare cases. The Loma Prieta quake broke the house in half right down the middle, and now it's gone.
Man, I miss that house! We had more than a 190-degree view of the Bay Area, from Milpitas to Mt. Tamalpais and beyond. Party central!
Japan has no Oil fields,,
and we must greatly honor Japanese,,, because they don't invade countries for oil anymore .. unlike you know,,
Actually, Japan has a little oil and produced 44 million bbls in 2010, but production is declining rapidly.
It's gotten to the point where I come to Wonkette for all the news, 'cause all the news is bad, and this is the only way I can stomach it.
Except for the Gallagher thing. That's more "meh."
I'm upfisting everyone because of the troll, but wanted to say I wholeheartedly (and despondently) agree that the world's bad fucking news is much more palatable this way.
Yep, between here and the Daily Show…
Otherwise I go bat-shit crazy and just start running those "Bush/Cheney" sticker folks off the road… Can you believe there are still people around who thought that was a good idea?
Ron and Rand Paul are angry that Japan is not letting the Free Market handle disaster relief.
Or prevention. I'm sure those earthquake resistant buildings and tsunami breakwaters were not cheap
With Free Market disaster prevention/preparedness, no builders would ever cut corners that would end in more deaths in a situation like this to save money, because It is infallible.
This quake illustrates perfectly why the Libertarians are full of shit. Japan's government forces adherence to sensible building codes. Maybe a few hundred dead today. China, on the other hand, experienced a smaller earthquake in 1976, in Tangshan. Death toll estimates range from 250,000 to 750,000! Libertarians support '70s-era China-style building standards, i.e., none.
Yeah; Katrina was just a preview of how bad disasters here could get if the Libertarians had their way. The Pauls are morons, and Rand it least is both an woman-hating douchebag and apparently literally full of shit:
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/03/rand-p...
Actual quote: "I think there should be some self-examination from the administration on the idea that you favor a woman's right to an abortion, but you don't favor a woman or a man's right to choose what kind of light bulb, what kind of dishwasher, what kind of washing machine."
Then he claims he has to flush a water-conserving toilet ten times. Um, might want to look into laxatives if you're shit's that bad.
Yes, the Japanese government should have had no role in forcing those buidling codes upon the people. Why, Japanese businessmen have more choice in tentacle porn and school girl panties than they do in how to build skyscrapers in high risk areas.
Another day, another Wonkette-inspired cleaning of diet Pepsi off my monitor. I have got to stop drinking pop whilst perusing the Wonkette.
You said tentacle porn.
You mean the Yakuza? (the Yamaguchi-gumi family helped out after the Kobe Earthquake of 1995)
And they have such cool tattoos.
I say zaibatsu, you say yakuza. Tomato, to-mah-to, potato, deadly gangster with penchant for removing fingers.
I love the guy with the umbrella.
"Tut-tut, it looks like rain".
Video time :48. The world is blowing up behind this dude, and he's checking the news on his iphone. There's a metaphor for humanity there somewhere.
I saw his counterpart in a video from a Japanese newsroom. The entire room is shaking wildly back and froth and this guy is typing furiously on his keyboard, no doubt getting the scoop, to be delivered to cell phones across Japan.
Since that shit never happens to America, guess God is better than Buddha. Suck it, Japan! Seriously, that is an angry mother nature & I feel horrible for those affected.
1964 Alaska earthquake, 9.2.
1700 Cascadia earthquake (WA), 9.0
1965 Rat Islands earthquake (AK), 8.7
1957 Andreanof Islands earthquake (AK), 8.6
1906 San Francisco earthquake (CA), 8.1
Nope, never happens.
Uhhh…you realize I'm being facetious, right?
My family moved to California right after the "big one" of 1973. I basically spent my youth in terror of just this event, and lived through some pretty hairy earthquakes/fires (although magically I was at the other end of the state for both Loma Prieta and Northridge). I still can't grasp the magnitude of this – Japan is the absolute best prepared nation in the world and it looks like Armageddon. If this happened on the San Andreas, LA would just cease to exist as we know it. Ditto for the Heyward fault in Northern California – all the lovely 1920s and earlier houses and structures throughout the Berkeley/East Bay area would be gone for sure, and I don't even want to think how bad the roads/gas/electricity/water situation would be.
Oh, man, it's even worse than you think, Japan is mostly atheist. That's why this terrible thing happened (scientific fact!)
Uff Da. Jack needs to get his ass over there. His hero status on the Wonkette makes him essential to the rescue process. His ability to sniff out pussy and santorum are legendary.
Seriously: Peace to those who have lost loved ones.
The downfister is bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning.
Well now we know he doesn't like people expressing sympathy for earthquake victims; he must think they deserved it or something.
They know, of course, that liberals do not actually care about human suffering–we are no doubt plotting to exploit this tragedy for the sake of increasing the power of Big Government.
Gotta be. He's working up an appetite for his late dinner at 4:31pm.
Just talked to my niece who lives north of Tokyo – Yay she's okay! Now I can weep for all the souls washed to sea and gnash my teeth at life's injustice.
I just know, JUST KNOW, Pat Robertson is getting ready to somthing REALLY fucking stupid.
Can't wait for the heartfellt Twitter from Sarahn Palin to make everything right.
Fuckin' earthquakes, how do they work?
Ground goes up…ground goes down. Nobody knows why.
Tide goes out, motherfuckin' tsunami comes back in… so, Jesus?
Republicans call this "return on investment". Of course, their "investments" fuck up everything for everyone else.
This is gruesome, terrifying stuff. There is no god, but the first Evangelical fuck-face who claims the Japanese brought down the wrath of their imaginary sky wizard on themselves deserves the old lightning bolt treatment. Instantly.
Are they sure it wasn't Gallagher's brother?
Black Gallagher always shoots first.
Oops! Evangelical Fuck-Face Troll Alert!
Is Lake Wasilla in the tsunami's path? Please?
Be expecting a tsunami of tstupid.
I thought it was Lake Lucille. On which Lou Sarah lives.
There's got to be a Godzilla post somewhere! anyone
I've been reading papers, listening to Nancy Pelosi Radio and watching teevee news for two hours and this is the best summary I've seen on the earthquake.
Makes me want to write a thoughtful 800-word op-ed on the State of Today's Media and submit it to WaPo under David Broder's by-line.
To be "fair", Zombie David Broder would still be better than living David Broder.
On the bright side, I guess the whales can rest easy for a little while. Too soon?
Jack, if you’re thinking of flying out to Minneapolis please don’t.
MG
Dick move, dog. Kinda like when we invaded Iraq for something someone else did.
We all know what this means…
"Godzilla vs. Mothra: The Revenge"
This time, it's personal.
what Glenn Beck sees constantly, whether his eyes are open or not.
For Beck, every day is ash wednesday.
Well, if anyone is well-positioned to deal with an "atomic emergency," it's probably Japan.
Too soon?
It's never too soon on teh Wonkette. Hell, we're already making Gamera jokes.
The flooding in Hawaii has overwhelmed the building where they keep the original long-form birth certificates.
Good god, man–how many chalkboards did it take for you to deduce this?
So what you're saying is that Obama used his secret Kenyan Muslin voodoo magic skills to cause this earthquake in Japan, knowing that it would send a tsunami to Hawaii to destroy the building where they keep the long-form birth certificates? Because if the earthquake had been centered in Hawaii that would have been too obvious? My God, it all makes sense! The man is playing, like, 377-dimension chess.
With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound
He pulls the spitting(CITY'S) high tension wires(LINES) down, Godzilla!
Helpless people on subway trains
Scream BUG-EYED(MY GOD) as he looks in on them, Godzilla!
He picks up a bus and he throws it back down
As he wades through the buildings toward the center of town, Godzilla
Oh no, they say he's got to go
Go go Godzilla, yeah
Oh no, there goes Tokyo
Go go Godzilla, yeah
Oh no, they say he's got to go
Go go Godzilla, yeah
Oh no, there goes Tokyo
Go go Godzilla, yeah
Actually, the gent walking across the parking lot was the Anti-Glenn Beck. He didn't even flinch while that fire was raging in backgroud. Glenn would have started a mini-tsunami by pissing his pants.
That's right, Denis. I'm looking at you!
OT, but OOOhhh!!! I just got my first conservitard follower! I feel like I've arrived!
Congrats….It's like popping your cherry. It's nice to know that your going to get down fisted once for every comment you make isn't it?
The best part is they somehow think they are winning a battle, when they are the ones sitting in their mom's basement waiting for me to snark so they can fist it.
Tee-Hee
"Fist it"
Sort of like my favorite quote about arguing with a creationist: "It's like trying to play chess with a pigeon — it knocks the pieces over, craps on the board, and flies back to its flock to claim victory."
They're so cute when they try to act dark and intimidating, aren't they?
I got mine last weekend. He doesn't do many tricks tho
Me too! How exciting. This one is definitely going right on to my c.v.
I got one too! And I rarely post! *Happy Claps*
I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him…
…and pat him and pet him..and rub him and caress him and…
Sweet Zombie Jeebus. That was awful
Surely the Free Market, guns, Sarah Palin and gold bullion will make everything right in Japan, right Conservitards?
Was Rush in Japan and fall out of bed?
Let's see….what horrible jokes haven't been made yet….
The tidal waves flooding the coasts after quake might be a real problem for a nation of tiny, tiny Asian people.
Roads to move inland are probably blocked because they're all bad drivers.
I'm sure we'll see plenty of pictures because they all have giant cameras.
And they all have small penises.
Ok, I'm done now.
(I'm sure over at FreeRep and Brietbartland, the racist-stereotype jokes were the first ones posted.)
This is completely fucked. You watch, though, stocks will rebound on rumors of Japan's need to spend massively on rebuilding its infrastructure (and unlike here where a bunch of whiny GOP fucks convince people potholes are just God's will, the Japanese will actually find and spend the money and get super cool buildings that double as maglev trains).
All the images are so sad. I just want to go wrap myself up with a bowl of noodles and sake and make it go away.
This is horrible, yet compare the difference between Haiti and Japan. More proof that God hates poor people.
I guess it's proof that socialist things such as enforced building codes are really good for you and don't "destroy your freedums!" I mean this quake is something like 80 times more powerful than the Haiti disaster (Mag 8.8 vs Mag 7.0). I have friends in a high rise in Japan that said basically the big building is on wheels and they just sort of rolled back and forth. So far it seems the tsunami on coastal villages is what is the killer.
It's not God that hates them.
a wrathful earth is terrible.
not to be political or anything, but it is something to keep in mind.
For this – I have nothing.
This would seem the perfect opportunity for the Arizona legislature to push for a nuke plant along the Colorado River at the closest possible point to the San Andreas fault in neighboring California. Then they can kill two birds with one stone and name earthquake/nuclear meltdown the official Arizona manmade/natural disaster.
All snark aside, this is horrible.
NYtimes has a photo gallery here http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2011/03/11/wor...
and yes, it does look even worse than Detroit does as viewed from Windsor.
As usual, the BBC has the best coverage. All CBS had was its usual scaremongering – "Hawaii's going next!" style of idiot reporting. They're getting to be almost as shitty as FAUX.
The only good US coverage I could find was on the Weather Channel. As if earthquakes were weather. Sheesh!
This is awful – I can't even make a giant, radioactive monster joke this is so terrible. This is the radioactive imagery/nightmare that the Japanese have been living with for over 60 years. My heart goes out to everyone there, and everyone in Haiti and every other place hit by these horrible environmental disasters. It's going to be a rough year. Again.
Who the fuck downfisted that comment? Who's the slimy little twinkle-toed cocksucker that just signed his own death warrant?
Let's get the telethon rolling. Tonight's Fox special includes Troy Aikman, Megyn Kelly, Megan Fox, Kelli Martin, Kelli Williams, Kelly Kapoor and Gene Kelly. Goal: $1 million so Peter King can pay a personal visit to the damaged area and convene hearings on the Muslim tidal wave of terror.
No snark, this is just terrible. My thoughts are with the people of Japan. Be safe, Jack. Does anyone know if there are any charitable organizations on this yet?
Grrr…Jim Dickweed on CNN is helping to ratchet up my blood pressure by playing up the horror of it all. Where's the cool, dispassionate voice of a Walter Cronkite when you really need it?
Walter Cronkite is dead and I'm not feeling so good myself …
this video is scarier than any Godzilla or Ultraman movies ….
Gallager?
Did Obama and his amazing time machine–that he used to go back in time and plant his own birth announcement in the Honolulu newspaper—take us back to the 1980's?
No snark here, even if I didn't have a sister living on Oahu.
This is terrible and our hearts go out to everyone affected…but what does this have to do with Sarah Palin? Let's keep our eyes on the ball, people.
btw… known liberal newspaper NYT has reported that Japanese Big Gubbmint strict building regulation might have save thousands life..
wasnt they supposed to deregulate that intrusive big gubmint regulations like what Ron Paul said?
In a better world, the Free Market would decide what safety measures are appropriate.
In other words, hundreds of thousands would die, as in Haiti, but builders would have had a more prosperous year when those buildings went up, so it all balances out.
horrible, and I've never seen such a big cluster of aftershocks, many of them over 6.0
http://qcn.stanford.edu/sensor/maptrig.php?cx=0&a...
You can only tell when a thread is fairly new, and suddenly a large number of new posts have a 0 or -1 rating. There are seriously a few Brietards out there who watch Wonkette for new threads, then busily downfist. Then they feel like they have done something for America.
Also, when we note, with amusement, that they're here, they imagine that we are "freaking out" over our precious, precious pee scores. As I've said before, they seem to think that they're stealing our mana.
I'm just so distraught over the havoc the trolls have been wreaking. I think I may have to go impose Sharia law on a daycare center.
Heard from a friend in Nagoya that is ok. Still waiting to hear from another that's in the south of the main island in Kyoto. Looks like most damage was in the north.
I know better, but I just wanted to speak to my inner R. Lee Ermey, Private Doktor[redacted]. Now, GET ON YOUR FACE!
Sezme's relatives in Kobe who got fucked-over by god in 1995 are thankfully pretty much unaffected this time. But shit!
Whoa. That's some really nasty shit right there.
Yet another PSA from Mother Nature: "Attention all humans – you may think you're hot stuff, but remember: any time I feel like it … day or night … I can make you my hackeysack."
Safe travels, Jack-san.
Pack a helmet and some floaties (if you're not already wearing them), never sport a skirt in public, and—most importantly—don't forget to fucking write.
SAYONARA!
The nerds at Cal Tech warn that Los Angeles County can only pray to get off this easy when we get the inevitable 7-pointer or greater.
A tsunami of 70,000 low-income and indigent South Los Angeles refugees, is probably more scary to northern Orange County than an actual one.
Word. From what I understand, we in Orange County/Hatelandia are pretty overdue for the fabled Big One. And with earthquakes being such geological crap shoots, I don't know if all these quakes are increasing or reducing the odds of it happening.
Never forget 9/11 lies.
Study prevailing winds.
Traditional cooling not possible.
Containment has been breached.
Dishonest governments never tell the truth.
Corrupt controlled media never tell the truth.
He's just following in the footsteps of fellow wingnut John Wayne.
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