BUT MUSLIMS HATE HAM RADIO  11:33 pm March 10, 2011

IRA Terrorist Peter King Now Wants To Take America’s Amateur Radio Band

by Ken Layne

It's funny because Ham Radio people are all nutty conspiracy Tea Party old dudes.We thought he was plenty busy hating on Muslims — and why can’t the Muslims just shut their halal-holes and enjoy America’s endless bloody pointless murderous wars against Muslim countries, anyway? — but Rep. Peter King is also trying to shut down America’s ham radio frequencies.

Why? To swap ‘em for some new “broadband for cops” wireless thing, because if there’s one thing the cops need, it’s more ways to talk to each other on radios. Oh, and because the current cop band is being sold off to the private sector, because the Federal Government sells the airwaves because it can, and if you maybe have a pirate radio station playing the hip hop or revolution rock, actual armed agents will arrive and take your shit and, eventually, put you in prison.

From the ARRL amateur radio website:

H.R. 607 lists, among the bands to be reallocated for commercial auction within ten years of the passage of the Bill, the paired bands 420-440 MHz and 450-470 MHz.

The inclusion of most of the Amateur 70-cm spectrum as one of the replacement bands is a major problem. The 420-440 MHz band is not Public Safety spectrum and should not be included in any spectrum swap of Public Safety allocations.

While the ARRL and all Amateurs support the work of Public Safety and recognize their need for dedicated spectrum which would promote interoperability, the ARRL vigorously opposes HR 607 in its present form. HR 607 is a direct threat to our limited spectrum and the ARRL encourages all amateurs to appropriately voice their opposition to this bill.

Sorry if that can only be understood by weird old guys with a “shack” full of transceivers behind the house. The rough translation can be found on this Metafilter post:

They’re trying to get rid of HAM radio because when they pull the plug on the internet and cellphones they don’t want anybody talking with anyone. In the event of an Egypt-like blackout, HAM might be one of the few avenues left for free communication.

Again: They’re taking this away because they’re planning to openly oppress us at some point in the future.

[ARRL/Metafilter]

 
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{ 131 comments }

Beowoof March 10, 2011 at 11:37 pm

I trust my teabagger leaders such as Peter King and Scott Walker to always do the right thing on behalf of their bosses the Koch Brothers.

BarryOPotter March 11, 2011 at 8:36 am

Unfortunately for America the Boned, your trust is well placed.

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Wow, it took them long enough to figure out that Ham radio is actually, short for Hamas radio. Now they should just shut down all the Radio Shacks and we can get back to going through airport security without having to take a morning-after pill.

poncho_pilot March 11, 2011 at 4:59 am

i do not like green eggs and hamas. i do not like them Uncle Sam i am.

Come here a minute March 11, 2011 at 5:43 am

Do you like green eggs and ham radio?

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 8:42 am

This is even funnier, to me, since one of the few HAM enthusiasts I have known was the guitar-player/choir at my Catholic parish growing up. (He & his wife led the song — she also played tambourine — & all three kids, named after Gospellers & Old Testament prophets, were altar-boys.)

[redacted]Crusher March 11, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Remember the good ol days, when Ham Radio was the only way for the wingnuts, conspiracy theorists, and general dirtbags had to correspond to each other?

Bezoar March 10, 2011 at 11:39 pm

More of us should learn Morse code and how to fabricate and operate continuous-wave radio transceivers. They can be made from burned-out miniature fluorescent light bulbs; the squiggly ones. I'm not kidding, that's how it's done in Cuba.

DickChud March 11, 2011 at 12:56 am

.–. . – . .-. | -.- .. -. –. | .. … | .- -. | .- … … | .– .. .–. . | ..–.. |

MikeHawkstrong March 11, 2011 at 12:21 am

.–. . – . .-. | -.- .. -. –. | .. … | .- -. | .- … … | .– .. .–. . | ..–.. |

CapnFatback March 11, 2011 at 12:55 am

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, people?

ShaveTheWhales March 11, 2011 at 1:03 am

Yes indeedy.

[redacted]byreality March 11, 2011 at 1:55 am

Google Translate Fail.

Radio[redacted]™ March 11, 2011 at 2:53 am

.–. . – . .-. -.- .. -. –. .. … .- -. .- … … .– .. .–..

not that Dewey March 11, 2011 at 7:23 am

.. –. — – .-..-. .- … … .– .. .–. . .-..-.

ThankYouJeebus March 11, 2011 at 9:26 am

Smoke signals or GTFO.

[redacted]Crusher March 11, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Carrier pigeon.
Until we are forced to eat them.

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 11:39 pm

"In the event of an Egypt-like blackout, HAM might be one of the few avenues left for free communication."
I'd pay to see Peter King go door to door to confiscate the HAM radios.

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 8:43 am

Given his gut, I think he's been confiscating plenty of ham &/or corned beef, across the years.

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 11:41 pm

Are HAM radios halal or even kosher for that matter?

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 8:43 am

They're definitely not Vegan.

Moby will not be doing live-feeds of his protest-techno (protechno?) on them.

fuflans March 10, 2011 at 11:44 pm

go straight to hell, boys

el_donaldo March 11, 2011 at 12:32 am

the immigrants, they want to sing all night long

doloras March 10, 2011 at 11:45 pm

Sinn Fein just won 14 seats in the Irish Republic's legislature, so Peter King probably thinks that's the secret sign to go full IRA terrorist.

DaSandman March 11, 2011 at 7:41 am

Cause Mr. Helmet Head went full retard a long long time ago…

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 8:46 am

But how much of that was populist reaction to the collapse of Irish home-prices & economy, in general?

(For comparison's sake, the IRA political wing having a block in Ireland's parliament would be the same as if the Militia of Montana & Black Panthers actually got seats in the U.S. House. But, they don't, 'cause our "populists" are pussies on scooters who don't want to do anything, just want to talk it to death ("going Galt").)

doloras March 14, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Bad comparison. Modern-day Sinn Féin are more like the modern day ANC or Sandinistas – i.e. vaguely liberal pols in suits and ties who are still cruising on the fact that they used to be bad-asses with guns before they grew up and made nice with bankers. Some say that the impetus for this transformation came on 9/11 when suddenly "freedom fighting" became unfashionable for their funders in the US.

zhubajie March 11, 2011 at 10:13 am

Other IRA factions have been offering to shoot bankers!

GhostBuggy March 10, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Look, can we just skip to the part where the firemen come 'round to burn our books? And more importantly, where does porn fall on the list? Do they burn that, or can I keep it?

el_donaldo March 11, 2011 at 12:09 am

Well, unless you're a HAM radio fan, and therefore have a desk full of old Hustlers, your porn is digital and therefore safe.

poncho_pilot March 11, 2011 at 5:01 am

as opposed to old hustlers with desks which are the people who want to confiscate HAM radios.

GhostBuggy March 11, 2011 at 11:12 am

For the record, I couldn't pick a HAM radio out of a lineup of other outdated boxes of wires and speakers. But re: "analog" porn, sometimes old playthings are the best playthings.

Jukesgrrl March 11, 2011 at 1:36 am

There's one anti-porn contingency in the tea-bagger movement; others, like Rush for instance, can't get enough of it. But I think they all want to confiscate your condoms. We can't let the muslins get ahead of us on child production.

AddHomonym March 10, 2011 at 11:47 pm

How can one hate both ham and Muslims? On the other hand, mmmmmm, ham!

light of firefly March 11, 2011 at 1:25 am

It technically isn't ham if you slice it off King's back, but I'm sure it tastes about the same.

mrblifil March 10, 2011 at 11:49 pm

But surely they wouldn't take my ham biscuits, would they?

The_Great_Gazoo March 10, 2011 at 11:51 pm

More reason to believe that people who walk around thinking they are hearing voices in their heads may actually start hearing voices in their heads.

XOhioan March 10, 2011 at 11:51 pm

If we sold Peter King, I wonder how much he'd bring?

ttommyunger March 10, 2011 at 11:54 pm

If we could buy him for what he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth we'd make a fortune.

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 8:48 am

Soylent Kelly Green?

BarryOPotter March 11, 2011 at 8:51 am

If we sold Peter King, I wonder how much he'd bring?

A lawsuit seeking recourse for the selling obviously damaged goods with the intent to cause grave mental harm and kick off Tourette-like spouting of "WTF!?" Were the buyer an overseas gov't, it'd clearly be an aggressive act of war…

zhubajie March 11, 2011 at 10:15 am

Only a very specialized whorehouse would want someone so fat and ugly. Maybe a coal mine?

OkieDokieDog March 10, 2011 at 11:53 pm

What fucking country am I living in?

Downfistroll March 11, 2011 at 12:33 am

Reaganstan?
Jesusland?
UpperMexico?

Pick the one that makes you vomit the least.

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 9:56 am

Upper Mexico? I like. Eventually, though not so much as fulfillment of Ralph Nader's nattering, the Democrats will be subsumed by the GOP, & the two parties will re-brand as the New PRI. But, who will be our Gustavo Diaz Ordaz?

proudgrampa March 11, 2011 at 6:49 am

What PLANET are we on???

zhubajie March 11, 2011 at 10:15 am

Bushobamastan

ttommyunger March 10, 2011 at 11:55 pm

I don't need no stinkin radio.

Radio[redacted]™ March 11, 2011 at 2:55 am

ttommy, I am heartbroken.

ttommyunger March 11, 2011 at 10:10 am

Didn't say I didn't want one, or use one. Just saying I could live without one if I had to. Hell, I don't even turn TV on some days, being a geezer and all.

zhubajie March 11, 2011 at 10:16 am

Get the wind-up radio and the wind-up computer to go with it!

ttommyunger March 11, 2011 at 10:23 am

Sounds like a plan ;)

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 11:55 pm

"You can have my HAM radio when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers."
C. Heston NRA

facehead March 11, 2011 at 12:00 am

Time to stock up on string and empty (non-halal) soup cans.

ManchuCandidate March 11, 2011 at 12:03 am

It'll be a cold day in hell when they take my battered CB Radio from my hands.
10-4 good buddy.

bumfug March 11, 2011 at 12:08 am

Next to go – soup cans and string.

Radio[redacted]™ March 11, 2011 at 2:57 am

Then smoke signals.
Oh wait, those are native american methods and we never learned anything from them.

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 8:50 am

If Canada/New Zealand/Spain aren't options, I'd recommend holing up at an Indian Reservation when the Civil War comes. As they're sovereign territory, you would be "off the reservation", as it were, & away from the crazy.

fatoots March 11, 2011 at 9:00 am

True that! And you get the gambling and fine dining!

zhubajie March 11, 2011 at 10:17 am

Learn Spanish and all of Latin America is open to you!

HistoriCat March 12, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Belize may be really poor but at least they speak English there.

ifthethunderdontgetya March 11, 2011 at 12:09 am

Why? To swap ‘em for some new “broadband for cops” wireless thing, because if there’s one thing the cops need, it’s more ways to talk to each other on radios.

ALL CITY ALERT: Car 54 reporting – Dunkin Donuts special 9AM – 10:30 AM.
~

poncho_pilot March 11, 2011 at 5:06 am

this would make an awesome video game:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaeciwWV5lI

i miss living in Madison :(

SayItWithWookies March 11, 2011 at 12:13 am

At last — you know the GOP has truly lost their base when the death-camp-FEMA-trailer crowd gets riled up over something they do. Go to it, folks — what I'm really looking forward to is a new Ross Perot to come out and sink the Republicans in 2012.

738838 March 11, 2011 at 7:23 am

She lives in Alaska.

Terry March 11, 2011 at 8:08 am

Ross actually ran a successful company and made himself a fortune through hard work. Snowbilly, not so much. Ross is crazier than a june bug, but he's not a dimwitted grifter.

4TheTurnstiles March 11, 2011 at 8:22 am

The space between Perot and Palin tells you everything you need to know about America's trajectory since 1992.

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 8:51 am

It will prolly be the CEO of Whole Foods… & he'll take almost as much from Dems as Reps.

cheaphits March 11, 2011 at 9:51 am

Maybe if the GOP disses Trump, he could go rogue. Lots of name recognition and money.

KenLayIsAlive March 11, 2011 at 8:45 pm

"A $25 organic chicken in every pot!"

AKbum March 11, 2011 at 12:19 am

Mmmm….Ham.

DerrickWildcat March 11, 2011 at 12:21 am

But how will Glenn Beck fans communicate with each other?

Barbara_i March 11, 2011 at 12:30 am

Landlines with rotary dials.

CapnFatback March 11, 2011 at 12:56 am

Through surreptitious grocery lists left lying around Wal-mart, natch.

zhubajie March 11, 2011 at 10:19 am

By sniffing each others' ass-holes, like dogs do.

KenLayIsAlive March 11, 2011 at 8:46 pm

Do the fans actually communicate, or do they just get messages from the intellectual mothership?

MarcelleMarceau March 12, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Smoke signals, that's how.

KnaveOfDiamond March 11, 2011 at 12:39 am

It's just a part of the GOP's ongoing assault on all things "public" and "radio".

carlgt1 March 11, 2011 at 12:50 am

obviously that must be the band the Muslin terrists use to communicate. I donate this theme song to King's CB band:

cuz we got a teabag convoy,
stompin' on workers rights
we got a teabag convoy,
Clarence Thomas is a beautiful sight!

come on and join our convoy,
no libruls gonna get in our way,
we're gonna roll this teabag convoy,
over all the Muslins and gays — convoy!

chicken[redack] March 11, 2011 at 12:58 am

As a ham operator, I can tell you that the 440 is unimpressive anyway. It doesn't enjoy good signal strength, and if you find someone to ratchet with, they're even lonelier than your average simplex 2 meter ham (amirite?)

But the ARRL does a lot of impressive work; they'll wad this bill up and set it on fire.

73's.

Jason_inthe_Peg March 11, 2011 at 1:37 am

You get a fist up for seeming to know what you're talking about ( I wouldn't know one way or the other).

not that Dewey March 11, 2011 at 7:18 am

We have the 2m "megalink" repeaters around here. That shit is funny. It's mostly truckers discussing their dinner plans — which apparently can go on for HOURS.

Black_PR March 11, 2011 at 11:11 am

If you ever get the chance, listen to 80-meters. This is where the ham subculture known as the "Ragchewers" (think sleestacks) hang out. They can spend many, many hours discussing their latest bout of gout, arthritis, a particularly satisfying turkey sandwich they had days ago, interspersed with long periods of the sound of a guy breathing while he tries to figure out what to say next.

I disagree with the original poster, though.. 70cm is very useful for the sporty set (all 3 of us) to use while backpacking, or whatever. Hunters use it. Some of the 70cm repeaters in the Denver area are very popular. But it is a short range, relatively poor propagation band. It is, never the less, valuable. This stupid bill also has the side effect of instantly obsoleting a bunch of rather expensive equipment.

CapnFatback March 11, 2011 at 1:12 am

Yes, but will this affect honeycooked ham turkey radios as well?

pukebot March 11, 2011 at 1:46 am

let me quote the only social criticism allowed on tee vee, the simpsons. "i have a ham radio".

not that Dewey March 11, 2011 at 7:20 am

Homer: We'll search out everywhere a sick, twisted, solitary misfit might run to!

Lisa: I'll start with Radio Shack.

Doktor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 10:22 am

"I also have a ham radio."

[redacted]byreality March 11, 2011 at 1:48 am

The other one true profit:

I was seriously thinking about hiding the receiver
When the switch broke 'cause it's old
They're saying things that I can hardly believe
They really think we're getting out of control

Radio is a sound salvation
Radio is cleaning up the nation
They say you better listen to the voice of reason
But they don't give you any choice 'cause they think that it's treason
So you had better do as you are told
You better listen to the radio

I wanna bite the hand that feeds me
I wanna bite that hand so badly
I want to make them wish they'd never seen me

Wait, what? Wrong radio?

ThankYouJeebus March 11, 2011 at 9:29 am

Are you talking about a Bible Profit?

[redacted]byreality March 11, 2011 at 11:27 am

You betcha!

ShaveTheWhales March 11, 2011 at 8:23 pm

So far, I like your Profits.

[redacted]byreality March 11, 2011 at 1:57 am

OT: Miyagi Prefecture in Japan being engulfed by tsunami from 7.9 quake. I hope they have ham radios to warn others.

Edit: They are saying it was a magnitude 8.4 now.

pinkocommi March 11, 2011 at 2:35 am

CNN has reported it was 8.9. My heart goes out to the people of Japan. A terrible, terrible tragedy.

The devastation is so horrible, it is hard to snark, but if I were to snark, I would say: The Japanese must have a lot of buttsecks for God to smite them down so horribly.

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 8:53 am

Were two atomic bombs not enough?

JustPixelz March 11, 2011 at 12:49 pm

What's with these elitist scientists and their ever-changing "numbers"? Virginia's Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli should stop wasting time on "crime" and get busy on this scandal. Can they prove the earth actually "quaked"?
_______________________
OK, it's OT and probably in poor taste, but the impact of global warming will be vast yet studying it in Virginia will get you a subpoena from Mr. Cucinelli.

[redacted]Crusher March 11, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Thank God we have Piyush Jindal to save us from volcano monitoring!

pinkocommi March 11, 2011 at 2:32 am

First they came for the communists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the ham radios, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't an anti-social loser.

Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me.

natoslug March 11, 2011 at 1:47 pm

As much as it pains me to say this, as long as there is Twitter, someone's going to be speaking out. So at least there's one more step in your slide into teabagging totalitarianism.

Extempor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 2:52 am

HEE HEE HEE!

Extempor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 2:55 am

FILIPINO MONKEY!

Doktor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 10:21 am

strangely enough, I know what you're talking about.

Extempor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 1:05 pm

HEEEE!!

NOW I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR ASS OUT OF THE WATER!

zhubajie March 11, 2011 at 10:22 am

Golden Man, are you back from the dead?

Extempor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 1:03 pm

I GO TO YOUR MOTHER'S HOUSE!

HEE HEE!

Extempor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 3:01 am

WHO WANTS SOME FILIPIIINO BANANA?!

IT'S THE MONKEEEY!

COME AND GET MY BANAAANAAA!

Ken Layne March 11, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Haha remember when the US almost started a war with Iran a couple of years ago because some speedboats were in the Persian Gulf and some jackass on a US Navy ship thought they were threatening him, and it was just the Filipino Monkey somewhere ashore fucking with a radio?

That was only three years ago.

natoslug March 11, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Is the Filipino Monkey related to Johnny Chimpo? If so, we shouldn't be so quick to take war off the table. It's the one export we seem to be good at (at least if "by good at" we/I mean "willing to carry out indefinitely, regardless of the consequences to ourselves") providing.

Extempor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 4:10 pm

It's heartening to know that at least you and a handful of patriotic fisters nevar forgetted.

"I AM COMING TO YOU, YOU WILL EXPLODE IN A FEW MINUTES," indeed.

LiveToServeYa March 11, 2011 at 6:32 am

Oh, they'll hem and haw about the ham

thetimchannel March 11, 2011 at 6:37 am

Semaphore flags.
Enjoy.

EdFlintstone March 11, 2011 at 7:25 am

Defunding NPR and planned parenthood, hearings on the Muslims and now a ham radio bill. Can't you feel all the jobs being created? We'll all probably have 2 jobs very soon…….minimum wage jobs, but still.

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 8:57 am

A Pakistani ob-gyn who does HAM radio in her down-time — this would prolly also make her the rare, female RUSH fan (as in Geddy, not Percocet) — would be Peter King's El Guapo.

x111e7thst March 11, 2011 at 8:01 am

You know, the Sheriff's got his problems too
He will surely take them out on you
In walked the village idiot and his face was all aglow
He's been up all night listening to Mohammed's Radio

DashboardBuddha March 11, 2011 at 9:06 am

Nice!

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 9:58 am

Heard this on the local independent, alternative (commercial) radio station this morning, & was reminded of the long-ago ONION side-bar: Omar Sharif Condemns Kasbah Rocking — "I don't like it", he says.

Terry March 11, 2011 at 8:10 am

The GOP'ers have been using codes for years. "Family values" for instance. "Kenyan" is another one.

horsedreamer_1 March 11, 2011 at 8:52 am

"Wide-stance" is still my favourite.

Terry March 11, 2011 at 8:55 am

Come to think of it, that would be an awesome name for a gay bar.

cheetojeebus March 11, 2011 at 9:00 am

Peter King : ham burglar

DashboardBuddha March 11, 2011 at 9:07 am

I'm not worried. I can send and receive messages with my mind.

Hey! I heard that.

Black_PR March 11, 2011 at 11:04 am

This also includes GMRS and FRS, which is inclusive of the little bubble-pack radios you use whilst backpacking or skiing or whatever. It's a blatant giveaway of a very limited, publicly owned resource to corporations who will spend millions to "own" these frequencies. They won't even be used for this "public safety" nonsense, they're just going to be taken and sold to the highest corporate bidder. I am one of those geeky hams — although my car does not resemble a porcupine, I don't get around via any sort of electric scooter (aka HamAbout), nor am I obese. I'm only mildly anti-social, but only because people mostly suck.

MinAgain March 11, 2011 at 10:29 am

Feeling oppressed, guys? Welcome to my world. Try being a 60's era liberal in the South.

hagajim March 11, 2011 at 11:08 am

And you're still alive?

MinAgain March 11, 2011 at 2:40 pm

For now. But the Republican-controlled Assembly is in the process of shooting my kind like fish in a barrel.

hagajim March 11, 2011 at 11:08 am

Does this make Peter King Hamfisted or the Hamburgler?

sportshort March 11, 2011 at 11:26 am

Perhaps mounts should be banned as well. There are religious nuts who tend to give sermons on them.

Gopherit March 11, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Like a muslim would use a HAM radio. Jeez.

NorthStarSpanx March 11, 2011 at 12:39 pm

As long as you only get your information and share your news consumption from Fox News, a Christian pulpit and do your daily Bible and Constitution readin, you'll have your moral majority status-quo foreva.

Beetagger March 11, 2011 at 3:28 pm

How will Ken control his minions from his desert lair without the two way?

bluescrubbie March 11, 2011 at 7:46 pm

I have it on good authority that Peter King goes by the handle "Koch-Peter".

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi March 12, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Neocon Peter King fears non-approved information communication.

Ham Radio knows what to do about his kind.

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