WIN OF THE AFTERNOON  10:51 pm March 10, 2011

Glenn Beck Fans Can’t Spell Glenn Beck’s Name, Either

by Ken Layne

#tigerwoodsbloodIt’s time for a special late-night edition of Oh Dear God the Glenn Beck People Are Still Trying To Comment On Wonkette. But first, a special contribution to the “Tea Party Racists Will All Listen To NPR Now” post from the other day. This person wants us to know that it’s okay to be racist, because Bill Clinton and Joe Biden were “enthusiastic members of the KKK.” We forgot about that!

Here’s the breaking news about Bill Clinton and Joe Biden being Ku Klux Klan members who did a lot of “racist behaviors” back in the day, in the South:

I am amazed at the depth of insight, the intelligent dialog of the American liberal intelligentsia, the tolerance that is displayed by so many of the commentators.

Vulgarity does not a cogent argument make. I believe Mr. Clinton, Mr. Biden, and a host of southern democrats who were enthusiastic members of the KKK engaged in quite a bit of racist behaviors.

– catholiccitizen 1

But let’s move back to the Important Subject of teevee’s Glenn Beck:

WAKE UP!!! HAVE ANY OF YOU HEARD OF THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS??? MAYBE YOU HAVE THOSE SAME COMMENTS FOR THAT “DOOM AND GLOOM”……THAT IS THE BIG PROBLEM…..YOU FEAR THE UNKNOWN…SO RANK ON IT TO FIT YOUR OWN SMALL BRAINS. WHAT ABOUT THE BIBLICAL PROFITS…NON-BELIEVERS THOUGHT THEY WERE CRAZIES ALSO….HOW ABOUT JOHN THE BAPTIST??? CRAZY???? OF COURSE YOU WOULD THINK SO, YOU AND YOUR SMALL MINDS!!!

– sugigail

Of all the “BIBLICAL PROFITS,” was John the Baptist crazy? Is that a trick question? Because he was crazy, at least as portrayed in the Holy Bible: He ran around dirty and half naked like somebody following that Phish band around Vermont, ate bugs, and lived in a van down by the river. No, not crazy at all!

Earlier today, we showed you an email from a guy who literally couldn’t spell his own name. (His email address said “Dennis,” but he signed it “Denis.” Not a big deal, unless it’s your own name.) And now, behind Door Number Three, we’ve got a loyal Glenn Beck fan who cannot spell “Glenn,” even though the name appears many times in each day’s program, in very large letters:

Your all a bunch of weenies .You make me want to puke.Its scum like you that ARE ruining this country.And don’t get all you little panties in a bunch thinking glen’s going somewhere,He’s not.His audience is not all old people either.
There are many young,bright,and strong people that enjoy Glen and it WILL be us that turn this country around and save it from the weak people like yourselves.Look in the mirror and tell me?Do you like the pathetic,weak,little person you are?

deleted7512897

That’s misspelling “Glenn” as “Glen” twice in a row, in one brief web comment. #winning

 
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{ 173 comments }

dyedwool March 10, 2011 at 10:57 pm

Needs moar tiger blood and Adonis DNA! STOOPID! Also.

vulpes82 March 10, 2011 at 10:57 pm

Oh, the enthusiastic membership in the KKK was just another one of Uncle Joe's gaffes. He's such a card!

Limeylizzie March 11, 2011 at 5:53 am

Card-carrying more like.

Doktor Avalanche March 11, 2011 at 7:15 am

When he heard about the free beer and chicks he couldn't say no.

Barrelhse March 10, 2011 at 10:58 pm

"Bright."
I liked that part.

Doktor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 11:25 pm

He meant "Breit"

OkieDokieDog March 10, 2011 at 11:00 pm

Wow. Our first black President was a klan member? Is this gonna be in the new GOP Teabaggie Texas school books? I sure hope so.

Any bible humper that types in all CAPS about bibley stuff is crazy. CRAZY!

And behind door number 3 – holy crap. Somebody does need to get his little weenie unwadded from his panties.

mourningnmerica March 10, 2011 at 11:30 pm

That's "he panties".

Doktor Avalanche March 11, 2011 at 7:17 am

Which he only wears because of a medical condition!

imissopus March 10, 2011 at 11:00 pm

Ken, we all like you even if you are pathetic and weak.

Mumbletypeg March 10, 2011 at 11:03 pm

Not morally weak, mind you. Just biblically weak, maybe. There's a difference.

Frost/Nixon/Robocop March 10, 2011 at 11:01 pm

All of John the Baptist's comments on WorldNetDaily were in CapsLock as well.

SmutBoffin March 10, 2011 at 11:01 pm

YOU ARE ALL EDCATED STUPID GLANS BECK KNOWS THAT EARTH HAS TIME CUBE SIMULTANEEUS 4 DAY

memzilla March 10, 2011 at 11:03 pm

At least John The Baptist didn't have to transport his high-fructose-corn-syrup-inhaling a** using a Hoveround® brand lard rover.

the_problem_child March 10, 2011 at 11:03 pm

My little panties are all bunched. So bunched. I expect maximum p for this revelation.

Doktor Avalanche March 11, 2011 at 7:19 am

Wow! I can practically tell which religion you are, they're so bunched. I'm upfisting as much as I can, to see your P raise.

DaSandman March 10, 2011 at 11:03 pm

Lou Sarah's up late, eh?

Barbara_i March 11, 2011 at 12:43 am

Well, today was Rupert Murdoch's 80th birthday. She couldn't hop back to the toad farm until he finished his cake.

Chet Kincaid March 11, 2011 at 9:17 am

That is euphemistic for some kind of brain-bleaching horror, I assume.

ManchuCandidate March 10, 2011 at 11:04 pm

"There are many young,bright,and strong people that enjoy Glen "

So much wrong in that. Young? Considering that Faux' audience heavily skews olds, I doubt the many. Bright? Hahahahaha–enough said. Strong? Shitting one's pants because they see a brown person or because Glenn wrote something on his chalk board or because he said it was in Revelations. Finally, if they're so strong why freak out about what a bunch of weakling liebruls write? Yeah… the only thing that's strong about them is the smell of urine in their Depends.

DemmeFatale March 10, 2011 at 11:45 pm

(Libtards also know how to use the space bar when they type out their meager offerings.)

neiltheblaze March 10, 2011 at 11:07 pm

I had no idea we were part of the Liberal Intelligentsia. I just come here for the dick jokes.

LesBontemps March 10, 2011 at 11:20 pm

I thought we were here for teh buttsechs.

Doktor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 11:27 pm

I come here for the intellectual dick jokes.

deelzebub March 10, 2011 at 11:55 pm

Who told a joke about Voltaire's dick?

Doktor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 12:11 am

If Voltaire's dick did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it.

ShaveTheWhales March 11, 2011 at 12:41 am

Voltaire dick jokes are the best dick jokes in all possible worlds of dick jokes.

Or something.

MsQuasimodo March 15, 2011 at 3:46 am

That would be Leibnitz dick jokes.

easynewz March 11, 2011 at 4:07 am

~ The perfect dick joke is the enemy of the good dick joke. ~

BaldarTFlagass March 14, 2011 at 7:34 am

I drove a Plymouth Voltaire, back in the 70's.

[redacted]Crusher March 11, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Those that forget dick jokes, are doomed to repeat dick jokes.

Beowoof March 10, 2011 at 11:42 pm

I thought it was all about acquiring stylish truck nutz.

Doktor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 11:45 pm

I thought we were an autonomous collective…

MittsHairHelmet March 11, 2011 at 12:52 am

What if we are the Liberal Intelligentsia?

Doktor Avalanche March 11, 2011 at 7:27 am

I thought the dick jokes were all secret codes for how to destroy democracy. Here I was filling up the car with ice cubes, copies of the Communist Manifesto hidden inside Overton Window dust jackets, 20 gallons of something called FAP lotion, 60 cartons of Dixie cups and ready to drive to the Mohave desert. Way to send mixed signals, guys!

Fukui_sanYesOta March 10, 2011 at 11:08 pm

"WHAT ABOUT THE BIBLICAL PROFITS"

There's something deeply yet dangerously fucking wrong about this. Does the writer really believe the bible talks about profits, or is he or she merely incredibly illiterate?

From my reading of Jeeby Creeby in the new testament, I'm pretty sure he's not in favor of the profit motive fucking over the poor. The alternative interpretation – simply stultifying pig-ignorance with a double-dose of bible crazy – would just reinforce the stereotype of Beckians being horrendous fuckwits, so why would you send the email?

Oh, wait.

T.

zhubajie March 10, 2011 at 11:42 pm

The biggest topic in the OT is not gay sex but STOP CHEATING POOR PEOPLE!!!

Beowoof March 10, 2011 at 11:43 pm

I was wondering how to get in on the Buybull profits, but then in context it is clear he is just illiterate.

fuflans March 10, 2011 at 11:08 pm

oh catholiccitizen 1, in fact Vulgarity often does make a cogent argument.

just ask most of the western canon.

now if you will excuse me i have a lot of clash to listen to.

Beowoof March 10, 2011 at 11:44 pm

catholiccitizen, don't you need to check whether your priest has his dick in some altar boy's ass.

Chet Kincaid March 11, 2011 at 9:22 am

As was proclaimed by the great Volgaire.

iburl March 10, 2011 at 11:10 pm

CRAZY???? OF COURSE YOU WOULD THINK SO, YOU AND YOUR SMALL MINDS!!!

Ed Wood Lives!

bumfug March 10, 2011 at 11:13 pm

More like Ed Gein.

memzilla March 10, 2011 at 11:24 pm

It's like reading email from Ned Flanders' younger, more meth-addicted brother.

Doktor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Do not be afraid of Glenn Lobo. He is harmless as a kitchen.

Jerri March 11, 2011 at 8:29 am

Now I kind of want to see Glenn end a show by yelling "PULL THE STRING! PULL THE STRING!"

bumfug March 10, 2011 at 11:11 pm

As their heroes descend into madness, the frenzy grows. These dipshits are just like the trolls who tag-teamed comments on my post yesterday (43 replies!). Thanks to the Wonketeers who said to themselves, "I could do something productive with my time or I could shoot fish in a barrel by proving these douchebags are as dumb as I thought they were."

MittsHairHelmet March 10, 2011 at 11:12 pm

To the editor:

It'd be interesting to see the most coherent, well-reasoned response you received from a Beck fan. I'm not expecting much, but there's gotta be something better than this.

Ken Layne March 10, 2011 at 11:40 pm

One guy wrote a polite note saying he came across the Glenn Beck post and it was unfair and lacked objectivity and etc., and I wrote back politely and said we're a political satire site and have no more interest in objectivity than MAD Magazine, and he politely wrote back and said, "Oh sorry, I couldn't tell, but thanks for the reply."

And that was the coherent and polite exchange. The rest were varying degrees of all-caps and crazy.

imissopus March 10, 2011 at 11:50 pm

I assumed these were the most coherent, well-reasoned responses.

MittsHairHelmet March 10, 2011 at 11:50 pm

Thanks Ken. It seems that Glenn Beck fans, except for one, have earned their reputation.

AddHomonym March 10, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Wonkette: brought to you by the usual gang of idiots!

Chet Kincaid March 11, 2011 at 9:27 am

So that explains the Ayn Rand epic and the Comics Curmudgeon. Does Riley have double-jointed feet?

Extempor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 11:12 pm

SO RANK ON IT WORTHLY WOKETTE SKUM!!!!

fuflans March 10, 2011 at 11:35 pm

sarcastic nymph.

Extempor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 12:04 am

punishing dildo mallet

Doktor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 11:49 pm

This entire blog can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any

Extempor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 12:05 am

no wonder, wonkette does not allow comments.

ShaveTheWhales March 11, 2011 at 12:45 am

Soon, we will be able to write entire short essays with recycled stupid. Just like Shakespeare.

Extempor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 12:56 am

NICE MOVE, DICKFACE by [redacted]

CalamityJames March 11, 2011 at 1:09 am

You, sir, win the future.

Fare la Nippon March 11, 2011 at 4:59 am

Hey Wonkett, seems everything is funny to you.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum March 11, 2011 at 12:32 pm

WOKETTE has been musically redacted.

XOhioan March 10, 2011 at 11:13 pm

"HOW ABOUT JOHN THE BAPTIST??? CRAZY????"

Well, when you put it that way–all in caps and with seven question marks–yes. You are a little crazy.

ShaveTheWhales March 11, 2011 at 12:45 am

I prefer NON_EXISTENT!!!!!one!!!

Blendergoathead March 10, 2011 at 11:13 pm

I've been on teh internetz forever and consider myself pretty much immune to much of it… allcaps still give me that *tingle,* especially from a crazy person. Well done.

vulpes82 March 10, 2011 at 11:14 pm

"THE BIBLICAL PROFITS"

I always knew those Gideon Bible people were rolling in it. The hotel nightstand concession is fucking lucrative, people!

el_donaldo March 10, 2011 at 11:17 pm

I feel like people have said Glenn Beck so many times that it's summoned a host of demons or furies, except, because it's Glenn Beck we're talking about, it's like a bunch of retarded frogs that you have to avoid stepping on.

fuflans March 10, 2011 at 11:36 pm

so so very nice.

[redacted]FetusJar March 11, 2011 at 1:01 am

Ha ha. I read that as: "I feel like people have said Glenn Beck so many times that it's summoned a host of demons or furries." Because you just know that's how Glenn rolls.

Barbara_i March 10, 2011 at 11:17 pm

WAKE UP!!! HAVE ANY OF YOU HEARD OF THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS???
Dude, do you know that Glenn is Mormon? He's a follower of Bring 'em Young. Oopsie, typo, Brigham Young, and his "old enough to bleed, old enough to breed" mantra.

WHAT ABOUT THE BIBLICAL PROFITS?
Well, the bible is the best selling book of all time. Oh, you meant "prophets" I am stunned that Glenn doesn't keep bringing up the prophet, Simeon Niger just so that he can just keep saying it over and over again and think that he's getting away with something.

Beowoof March 10, 2011 at 11:50 pm

I have heard of the book of Revelations, it was written by John of Patmos and is an allegory about Rome.
My apologies to the regulars, but for the baggers who are cruising through downfisting, here is a definition of an allegory you fat sweaty old pastor didn't share with you:

Allegory – The representation of abstract ideas or principles by characters, figures, or events in narrative, dramatic, or pictorial form.

Thinking teabaggers try it out some time.

Schmannnity March 10, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Technically, the expression is a little less quaint: "Old enough to bleed, old enough to butcher."

Doktor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Jesus never said anything about having to spell.

Then again, he never said anything about abortion or buttsecks, and thought that we should forgive enemies instead of blowing them to tiny bits, so there's a lot of room for interpretation.

Barbara_i March 11, 2011 at 12:03 am

He also hung around a woman of questionable reputation, Mary Magdalene.

Doktor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 12:42 am

Who didn't wear panties, either.

Barbara_i March 11, 2011 at 1:13 am

I just guffawed, thanks!
Could she be the person who first spoke of a wedgie in the bible?
Truly, he has risen.

ShaveTheWhales March 11, 2011 at 12:49 am

And, of course, as a technical aside, it's not the fucking BOOK OF REVELATIONS, it is "The Revelation of St. John".

Or as I prefer to think of it "John of Patmos Eats the Dancing Mushrooms from Fantasia".

vulpes82 March 10, 2011 at 11:18 pm

Poor John the Baptist. Without SSRIs, all they could do for his mental illness was cut off his head. (Salome tried dance therapy, but it didn't work. Two left feet that guy had.)

BeWoot March 10, 2011 at 11:19 pm

There are many young,bright,and strong people that enjoy Glen.

Having fallen into the merely bright category some years back, my immediate reaction to this sentence involved strong young people enjoying Glen in the carnal fashion. As for bright, I'm thinking deleted7512897 meant these dimwit kids sex-romping the Beckster are shiny.

XOhioan March 10, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Joe Biden was a member of the KKK? Confusing him with Robert Byrd "does not a cogent argument make," since you have to get the fucking facts right in a cogent argument.

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 11:26 pm

Not to mention Strom Thurmond before he formed the dixiecrats.

donner_froh March 10, 2011 at 11:45 pm

Biden and Byrd have the same initial letter–recognizing that is about all you can expect from a Glenn Beck ass-sniffer.

[redacted]Crusher March 11, 2011 at 12:13 pm

So does Beck. The circle is complete.

CUNextTuesday March 10, 2011 at 11:19 pm

BIBLICAL PROFITS: the entire Republican agenda in a nutshell. (The operative word being "nut.")

starfanglednut March 11, 2011 at 10:04 am

well put.

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 11:25 pm

"I believe Mr. Clinton, Mr. Biden, and a host of southern democrats who were enthusiastic members of the KKK engaged in quite a bit of racist behaviors.

– catholiccitizen "

Dear Catholiccitizen;
We hate catholics too!
Love and kisses,
The KKK

LesBontemps March 10, 2011 at 11:25 pm

1. Wake up
2. Comment on "doom and gloom"
3. ???
4. Biblical profit!

gullywompr March 10, 2011 at 11:26 pm

They're right. I just looked in the mirror and I'm pathetic and weak and little and I don't like myself. I'm going to read about the profits in my Bible while simultaneously watching Glen so my brain will get bigger, my panties will unbunch, and I can stop being a racist that's ruining the country. Then I'm going to fire off an email to those lib pussies at Wonkette.

Wait a minute, is that lint in my navel? Sorry folks, change of plans….

Barbara_i March 11, 2011 at 1:38 am

A truly good person would have given up his navel for lint. 38 days of lint left and there is a filet of fish sammich with my name on it for today. (Friday)

ttommyunger March 10, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Dear Mr/Miss Catholishithead, I spell it G-L-E-N-N F-U-C-K-F-A-C-E! I believe I am correct.

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 11:32 pm

"little panties in a bunch thinking glen’s going somewhere,He’s not."
Hopefully Glenn (with 2 n's) will lock himself in his bunker and throw away the key.

nounverb911 March 10, 2011 at 11:35 pm

“BIBLICAL PROFITS”
Is that anything like "Jeebus saves, Moses invests"?

Beowoof March 10, 2011 at 11:53 pm

I like Jesus Saves, Gretzky gets the rebound and scores.

[redacted]Crusher March 11, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Only Jesus saves more than Bernie Parent!

Tundra Grifter March 11, 2011 at 11:58 am

You beat me to it – by 12 hours! [Moses, not Gretzky...]

MegPasadena March 11, 2011 at 12:57 pm

It's like it is from Glenn himself.
So “BIBLICAL PROFITS” means GoldLine.

mourningnmerica March 10, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Amy Mann was right. It's not going to stop.

LionHeartSoyDog March 11, 2011 at 3:14 am

"…until you wise up."

Guppy06 March 10, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Glen/Glenda.

And really, I come to this site for calm, intelligent, CSPAN-style debate with conservatives, not to discuss the finer points of ass-fucking.

aqua_buddha March 11, 2011 at 11:53 am

Though it's comforting to know that's always there.

Eduardohutch March 11, 2011 at 12:37 am

I copied his comment into an MS Word file and after photo copying it onto a transparency, I plan on allowing my eighth grade students to edit it for spelling, grammar, and general foolishness. Thank you for this; my lesson plan was running a little dry.

zhubajie March 10, 2011 at 11:39 pm

“BIBLICAL PROFITS”
http://www.overcomerministry.org for The Last Day's Profit of God. But he hates Mormons almost as much as he does Catholics and gays.

zhubajie March 10, 2011 at 11:41 pm

I propose spelling GB's name "Clambake". He's as brainy as a clam that has been baked!

Doktor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 11:55 pm

"Clambake" would be an excellent nickname, since, as it turns out, Glenn Beck never played in the Negro Leagues, either.

dox[acted] March 10, 2011 at 11:42 pm

As vulgarity is a fucking mode of appealing to a particular goddamn public (and of challenging discourses that determine the appropriate), yes shit for brains, it can make cogent arguments. Asshole.

BarryOPotter March 11, 2011 at 9:51 am

Ceteris paribus, some fucking body fucking just got fucking served!

Moonbat March 11, 2011 at 9:55 am

Throw in a couple of "cocksuckers" and that could've come straight from Al Swearengen. Well said!

Extempor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Commenting at the website of Federal News Radio 1500 AM, "sugigail" also expressed doubts about the Obama administration's recent decision to freeze federal pay:

I would like to know how the Obama's are sincerely trying to share our financial burdens. Is it the 6 vacations they've had since being in office??? Is it Michelle's 24 or so servants that we pay for that amounts to over $1,000,000.??? Is it her vacation to Spain with her friends and servants totaling at over $500,00.??? Is it his last trip where he felt he had to take over 3,000 people plus so much federal equipment?? Is it Barack's 32 plus CZARS that we pay for and who account to no one on their goings on…to the tune of over $1,500,000…..PLUS expenses!! PLEASE!!! Can someone tell me how this family is looking out for America and the people in it???? Obama is trying to naturalize illegals…why??? So they are beholding to him…thus give him their vote in 2012…gess what folks!!! With his back door, under the table policies, if he continues, we'll have him as our non-supporting president in 2012!! Shall we move to South America???

GESS WHAT FOLKS!!! NEEDZ MOAR CRAPSLOKC!!?!!!

cheaphits March 11, 2011 at 3:50 am

Jeez, being a czar isn't nearly as good a gig as I thought, less than $47K a year.

Can't buy many Faberge eggs on those wages. "Gess" they must expense those out.

Redhead March 11, 2011 at 7:19 am

Why does punctuation ALWAYS come in threes with this one? Do single periods or question marks get lonely?

Oh wait, no, she put a singular apostrophe when she was trying to write the plural of Obama, as in the Obama family (and as opposed to the singular possessive of Obama).

And I love how Bush's diplomatic trips and needed secret service security and advisers were okay, but with Obama, they're now vacations, servants and czars. (PS sugigail – yes, DO move to South America, GREAT idea, brilliant, get a move on that! I'm sure that will work out well for you, since South America doesn't have any black people according to Bushie.)

donner_froh March 10, 2011 at 11:42 pm

John the Baptist crazy? Not sure but he did some nutty stuff. For example in some productions of the opera "Salome" based on the Oscar Wilde play, his severed head gets French kissed by the title character after being presented by Herod.

Sounds crazy to me.

Doktor[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 12:00 am

Well, that's more about Salome bein' crazy, not ol' John. Unless you're holding his corpse's severed head accountable for postmortem snogging.

Or are you suggesting that John the Baptist was pulling a Dr. Carl Hill?

mourningnmerica March 10, 2011 at 11:43 pm

How do you deal with people like this? I say that we start mixing in, almost imperceptibly at first, then gradually, more and more, how we all love Satan. Just some brief comments weaved into our posts, that it's a good thing that we are destroying the country on the devil's behalf. You know, a few comments acknowledging it's our little secret that we know that homosexuality actually IS causing the world financial meltdown, stuff like that. Our goal to destroy Christianity, that we are secret Muslims, etc. C'mon everybody, every third or fourth post, please, just a little something to bait them.

ShaveTheWhales March 11, 2011 at 12:56 am

But under no circumstances should we allude to the fact that GLENN BECK FUCKS DONKEYS. Because, considering the obviously sketchy grip some of these folks have on imitating sanity, if they were to learn that GLENN BECK FUCKS DONKEYS, it might very well put them right over the edge into (with luck) catatonia, and what with the Death Panels and all, they'd probably be unplugged by socialist nurses chanting that GLENN BECK FUCKS DONKEYS. And this would cause terrible sorrow for their families, some of the members of which may not yet have heard that GLENN BECK FUCKS DONKEYS. So, shhhh. Okay?

eatingraoul March 11, 2011 at 11:47 pm

FUCKS DONKEYS? It is widely known he FELLATES ELEPHANTS, but this is first I have heard of FUCKING DONKEYS. HE IS SOOOO AMAZING!!!

yyyaz March 11, 2011 at 2:35 am

Too busy "smoking crack" at the Alinsky workshops I hold at all major LGBT rallies. Besides, my "spare" time is taken up printing "funny" money and handing out "ruphies" disguised as "gumballs" at the "playground." "Also, too."

Schmannnity March 10, 2011 at 11:44 pm

"many young,bright,and strong people that enjoy Glen"

Too bad they can't afford gold, don't need Fixodent, don't wear Depends, want hair replacement surgery, or yet need Cialis. Beck's commercial breaks must be very discouraging.

cheaphits March 11, 2011 at 4:05 am

Maybe most of those "young,bright,and strong people that enjoy Glen" are from here and other liberal sites. They say liberals tuning in to laugh at Glen is what's keep his ratings afloat.
http://veracitystew.com/2011/03/05/glenn-becks-st

We "enjoy" laughing at the knucklehead and keep him afloat and do they thank us?

Sending us gold would be a nice gesture…you can pretty must keep the rest of the crap he hustles.

[redacted]Crusher March 11, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Kind of sounds like an ad for the Hitler Jugend.

iburl March 10, 2011 at 11:44 pm

I'm starting to think Glenn Beck gets a lot of his ideas from Ed Wood. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cE1fzfOogo

I'm pretty sure it's either that or the Reptilian orbital mind control lasers.

Fred_Wertham_Jr March 10, 2011 at 11:45 pm

How do you go your whole fucking life without learning to put a space after a period? (Or two if you're old school.)

HempDogbane March 11, 2011 at 12:43 am

The writer is embarrassed by his fuckhead compatriots who use all capslock all the time. He shares their urgency but can't bring himself to use such a garish style. What to do? The America-haters and weak-willed fools (and Ken, too) need to to get the wisdom pounded into them right quick, but with a subtlety that's lacking in a capslocked screed. Why not skip the spaces that buttsexing liberals use between words? The words rush into the void that is the "worthly Wokette scums'" brains much faster without the spacesbetweenwords, and they never know what hit 'em because they're on the lookout for the CAPS.

cheaphits March 11, 2011 at 4:08 am

Probably true, but it may just be teh stoopid.

poncho_pilot March 10, 2011 at 11:51 pm

"Look in the mirror and tell me?Do you like the pathetic,weak,little person you are?"

yes. yes, i do. oh…he wasn't talking to me. he was talking to his "little guy".

Extempor[redacted] March 10, 2011 at 11:56 pm

If any of you small brained non-believers are able to assist "sugigail" with this request that they posted at Work-at-Home-Forum.com, I've no doubt that their stained, sagging sofa would be eternally grateful:

#10 · Posted: 29 May 20 2010

So what is this all about??? (14incomeathome.com)?? I need some more information about these work at home deals…..so far, I've only found "get rich programs" that only get the provider rich…..SCAMS. This one is listed on the BBB….I will check that out.

__________________
GFSug[redacted]

mrblifil March 10, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Lucky for them that they are all so attractive and hot. Because it seems like they have shit for brains.

cheaphits March 11, 2011 at 4:15 am

Yeah, there were certainly many, many beautiful people at the "Restoring Honor" event. Put the Oscars to shame.

Beckees getting by on their good looks is like Charlie Sheen getting by on his modesty.

glamourdammerung March 11, 2011 at 12:07 am

Anyone else remember when "elitist" did not mean "successfully completed sixth grade"?

Fukui_sanYesOta March 11, 2011 at 12:17 am

You have historical perspective and knowledge?

Three strikes, sir, three strikes. Elitist all the way.

glamourdammerung March 11, 2011 at 12:11 am

I believe Mr. Clinton, Mr. Biden, and a host of southern democrats who were enthusiastic members of the KKK engaged in quite a bit of racist behaviors.

Yet another conservative moron that thinks an uninformed "belief" somehow is more correct than a "fact".

Redhead March 11, 2011 at 7:12 am

but the internets told me!

Barbara_i March 11, 2011 at 12:12 am

And don’t get all you little panties in a bunch thinking glen’s going somewhere,He’s not.

You are correct, he's not going somewhere.
You are incorrect, we don't wear panties.

The_Great_Gazoo March 11, 2011 at 12:15 am

But Joe Biden thinks the president is "articulate and bright and clean." He said so in '07, and still believes it today.

CapnFatback March 11, 2011 at 12:27 am

John the Baptist crazy? Well, he did lose his head!

Now that's PITH, muthafucka.

imissopus March 11, 2011 at 12:33 am

I believe Mr. Clinton, Mr. Biden, and a host of southern democrats who were enthusiastic members of the KKK engaged in quite a bit of racist behaviors.

If Clinton was an enthusiastic Grand Wizard or whatever in the KKK, do you think he'd have let a dirty Jewess blow him? I think not!

ThankYouJeebus March 11, 2011 at 12:54 am

As Al Franken said while imitating Strom Thurmond, "The pecker knows no bigotry."

Barbara_i March 11, 2011 at 1:22 am

Bill Clinton was a fan of Goyas gone wild.

glamourdammerung March 11, 2011 at 2:56 am

And Biden, being Catholic, would have the minor issue with being ineligible for membership of the KKK. But why would a conservative let reality get in the way of a good crying jag?

LionHeartSoyDog March 11, 2011 at 3:19 am

Biden said he was a Christian Zionist. I don't know if that's compatible with being Catholic.

Steverino247 March 11, 2011 at 12:36 am

Wait! These guys are auditioning to take Charlie Sheen's place, aren't they?

catholic4condom March 11, 2011 at 12:41 am

People please don't confuse me for catholiccitizen 1

CapnFatback March 11, 2011 at 1:53 am

Never. As "catholic4condom," you advocate COVERING your dickishness.

Downfistroll March 11, 2011 at 12:42 am

Biblical profits = followers of supply-side Jesus?

c_star March 11, 2011 at 1:57 am

What does John the Baptist have to do with the Book of Revelations? I've read Revelations, has suigail? I wonder. Do they think that John the Baptist wrote Revelations? Here's a revelation – he didn't. It was John the disciple.

Also – Glenn Beck Fans: relax on the ALL CAPS emails, you are going to give yourselves a hernia, sweethearts.

xo
c-star

CapnFatback March 11, 2011 at 1:03 am

WHAT ABOUT THE BIBLICAL PROFITS…NON-BELIEVERS THOUGHT THEY WERE CRAZIES ALSO

Well, can you blame them? Thirty pieces of silver was seriously MAD MONEY back in the early A.D.

SayItWithWookies March 11, 2011 at 1:05 am

Can't spell his name? Sheeit, in a year they won't even remember who he was. On the bad side, they'll be watching/listening to someone much crazier — who tells 'em that zoos are a communist plot, that John Boy Walton is the Antichrist, and they should all have two years' supply of helium in their basements. Glenn won't have locked the door on his survival seed vault for more than twenty minutes before he's denoounced as a RINO.

[redacted]byreality March 11, 2011 at 1:31 am

I gotta get used to this late-night posting habit of yours, Ken. I wind up late to the party again!!!

Now, to the point:

APOCALYPSE: Beginning with a new 7.9 earthquake in Japan happening now! Tsunamis and everything!

JOHN THE BAPTIST: I don't know from crazy, but he was one hell of a motivational speaker.

BRIGHT: At the risk of being redundant, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Vulgarity does not a cogent argument make. I believe Mr. Clinton, Mr. Biden, and a host of southern democrats who were enthusiastic members of the KKK engaged in quite a bit of racist behaviors.

Vulgarity is one hell of a lot more persuasive than your fucking beliefs.

Finally: I'm sure glad I didn't have a mouthful of anything when I read your post. My computer would be ruined. "IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER."

[redacted]byreality March 11, 2011 at 1:37 am

And oh, yeah, one more thing: The devil made me do it.

phishsbrevity March 11, 2011 at 3:20 am

I'm glad he's doing his part in alleviating the shortage on spaces. Really taking one for the t e a m .

There I go again, be liberal and frivolous.

chascates March 11, 2011 at 2:52 am

You know, if Orson Welles' 'War of the World' broadcast happened today millions of Americans would die of heart attacks.

Any one up for a remake?

BarackMyWorld March 11, 2011 at 3:34 am

Sometimes I think I'm the only person who still has spell-check on his computer.

(And I was going to call it "spellcheck" without the hyphen, but spell-check told me that was wrong. Because spell-check knows how to spell its own name.)

monkshooter March 11, 2011 at 5:02 am

"There are many young,bright,and strong people that enjoy Glen"

Uhmm do those studs enjoy him shirtless? Oh yeah.

littlebigdaddy March 11, 2011 at 6:04 am

It is easy to confuse Boy's Nation with the KKK. Or maybe they were thinking of band camp, where Bill had his first bj. They both involve wearing costumes and, uh, campfires?

BklynIlluminati March 11, 2011 at 6:29 am

You know John the Baptists favorite saying was right? "Bitch why you always trying to stick me for my paper??!!"

Redhead March 11, 2011 at 7:12 am

"I am amazed at the depth of insight, the intelligent dialog of the American liberal intelligentsia, the tolerance that is displayed by so many of the commentators." From a person who doesn't know the difference between wanting to fuck everyone and wanting to fuck everyone up.

"SO RANK ON IT TO FIT YOUR OWN SMALL BRAINS." From someone who can't find the caps lock button on his/her computer, or figure out how to hit any punctuation key once instead of three times, and is probably vying to take over the job of bathshit crazy paranoid tv guy with that rant.

And finally, "You make me want to puke.Its scum like you that ARE ruining this country.And don’t get all you little panties in a bunch thinking glen’s going somewhere,He’s not." A perfect, shining example of what catholic nonuts up there was talking about.

Oh and, "There are many young,bright,and strong people that enjoy Glen" just like yourself, I suppose.

Okay, I'm starting to feel a little bad about picking on the mentally retarded. But who gave them e-mail?

EdFlintstone March 11, 2011 at 7:31 am

How to turn off the caps lock is also a mind bender for your average Beck listener. What flavor of Kool-Aid will all of Glenn's fans drink when he's not renewed at Fox?

4TheTurnstiles March 11, 2011 at 8:18 am

Sirius-XM satellite flavor. They don't list the ingredients and throw whatever they want in there with no oversight.

Chet Kincaid March 11, 2011 at 9:14 am

Obviously, libel-eral progressive bullshitovek scum are pretrending to be right-thinking merkins and composing these embarassing emails to make Beck-lickers look bad!! I looked-it-ed it up just now!

Nopantsmcgee March 11, 2011 at 9:34 am

"Letters" to Wonkette are my favorite articles here. Truly, I want to see more letters from the Right.

[redacted]Crusher March 11, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Agreed.
Saves me from having to go to RedState, Stormfront, BigDouche, etc. to keep track of what the morans are up to.

Anthr_DCLwyr3d March 11, 2011 at 10:22 am

Wait. Delaware is in the South? God damn piece of crap public school education….

hagajim March 11, 2011 at 11:13 am

BIBLICAL PROFITS! That's what the Gideon's earn selling bibles to hotels – right? Also did you notice that the Glen(n) Beck fan doesn't seem to have a space bar that works very well….kinda like his overly addled brain #fuckeduploser.

mumbly_[redacted] March 11, 2011 at 11:26 am

Wait, so Delaware is in the South, now?

I mean, I keep saying it is, but that's because I'm a complete douchebag.

jus_wonderin March 11, 2011 at 11:31 am

WTF? What's up with the nospace bar in that last one? Is there something I need to know about typing??

Doktor[redacted] March 12, 2011 at 12:21 pm

It's a Sovereign Citizen thing. You wouldn't understand.

DahBoner March 11, 2011 at 11:34 am

How did this teller know that on every KKK membership application form there are check boxes: Regular and Enthusiastic????

ChurchofRealism March 11, 2011 at 12:13 pm

I believe most of your biblical profits can be found at TempleMoneychangers.com

sportshort March 11, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Crazy soap? Clean you up. Make hot chocolate toddies. Communist pussy willows! See the Bible for your instructions. I reckon that'll teach you. What's my name?

Doktor[redacted] March 12, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Dilute! Dilute!

[redacted]Crusher March 11, 2011 at 12:40 pm

The fact that anyone would compare Glenn Beck to a biblical prophet, makes me want to cling to my guns.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum March 11, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Based on a quick Google search, it appears "Clinton's KKK activities" amount to his not denouncing loud enough (for Beck) Robert Byrd's former association with the group.

PublicLuxury March 11, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Son of a Bitch. . . This fuckin' gene pool needs some chlorine.

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